Went through my girlfriend’s phone and now I’m sorta traumatised

[Skills]

when you are in an ltr like the op, there is not demoting, he needs to get out and ghost to move on....

demoting and promoting is with fbs and mltrs when you go into main or mono ltr demoting is no practical... You have to cut contact and move on, specially with onitis...

 

[Mr Mistah]

Yes.

Agree with Skills and Dark Knight on this one

OP sounds like he is already in too deep/emotionally compromised

Downgrading her to FWB would work for a while but she'd find a way to weasel herself back into his life because oneitis/emotional investment

If it were me I'd just go no contact

 

[Chase]

@Huge Jack Man,

(that username is hilarious, btw)

Just to reiterate what everyone else has said:

• Girl is depressed
• Girl lied that she was not talking to any other guys
• In fact, not only was she talking to other guys, she was sending nudes
• Girl continues to lie when asked about talking to other guys
• Girl comments that the relationship is “a bit too easy”

Why’s it matter if the relationship is “a bit too easy” for her? It’s a quality indicator and a drama indicator. She is used to guys she wants to date dicking her around and not agreeing to monogamy. Is this a girl you met from online? She’s probably trying to date up but consistently getting stuck in the FWB role. Could also be that she usually just goes for bad boys who dick her around a lot and guys who don’t do that to her enough seem too nice and she does not respect them.

Why does her being depressed matter?

Don't Date Women on Pills or with Issues

25% of modern women are on pills of some sort. If you have any choice at all with women, though, you should not be dating these girls on pills. In the 2019 psychological horror movie Midsommar, a girl with psychological problems accompanies her boyfriend and his pals to a weird cult festival in...

www.girlschase.com

The other thing to mention is you only wanted FWB with this girl from the start. Time went by and you didn’t find any girls better than her so you reassessed and locked her down.

What you did here was what I tell guys not to do in this post:

Avoid "Falling Into" Relationships at All Costs

I've seen a lot of guys in my time fall into relationships with women they never intended to. Avoid this. My personal philosophy is I never see a girl regularly that I wouldn't mind having in my life long term... like, long long term. Because you have no idea what's going to happen in the...

www.skilledseducer.com

If you can demote her back to FWB and detach your emotions from her while you see other girls, fine.

If not, I agree with the other gents here — set this girl free, so she can send nudes to other dudes to her heart’s content, and not have to lie about it.

If you try going the Captain Save-a-Ho route here, where you feel so sad because she’s depressed, and you rationalize her sexting dudes and lying about it as just a symptom of her depression, where she is crying out for help, and she just needs your sympathy and guidance to help her turn over a new leaf, etc., then you will end up violating another maxim here (which 9 times out of 10 is going to lead to more numerous and more severe traumatic moments for you; so be advised):

Can You Turn a Ho Into a Housewife?

There comes a time in life when a man debates settling with a ho. Before taking the plunge, however, you’ve gotta know: CAN YOU turn a ho into a housewife? Came across a post recently where a guy discusses dating a girl who had a one-night stand on vacation then said she regrets it and wants to...

www.girlschase.com

Good luck.

Chase

 

[Huge Jack Man]

(that username is hilarious, btw)

Coming from you, that’s a huge compliment. Thanks. I’m starstuck rn

 

[Huge Jack Man]

If you can demote her back to FWB and detach your emotions from her while you see other girls, fine.

If not, I agree with the other gents here — set this girl free, so she can send nudes to other dudes to her heart’s content, and not have to lie about it.

If you try going the Captain Save-a-Ho route here, where you feel so sad because she’s depressed, and you rationalize her sexting dudes and lying about it as just a symptom of her depression, where she is crying out for help, and she just needs your sympathy and guidance to help her turn over a new leaf, etc., then you will end up violating another maxim here (which 9 times out of 10 is going to lead to more numerous and more severe traumatic moments for you; so be advised):

It’s obvious that I have quite a way to go in my seduction journey. As shitty as this experience has been, it’s put into perspective a lot of things that I’ve read on the site and made me realise I need to work on my emotions more and screening process. I thought I was in a comfortable position because I’ve successfully handled FWBs and stuff like that in the past but I still have a lot to work on. The situation has done a little number on me but I’ve been in the process of detaching myself gradually and focusing on myself and meeting up more women
Thank you.

 

[ChrisVirtue]

Every woman knows that a guy who is exclusive to her is dependent on her, for sex obviously and, over time, emotionally as well.

Damn

A leader always knows things that other people don't know, or that they don't know he knows, and he may never be able to let them on as he goes about making critical decisions.

Fascinating leadership description