Teevester i do agree with a lot of your points, but again there are some Machiavellian projections and i want to nitpick just for the point of learning, we all have blinds spots including me:
Won't take it personally if this is intended to imply I am Machiavellian, as I score very high on Machiavellianism. That said, Machiavellians are rarely wrong though despite their views sometimes being overly cynical (which can be a bit... annoying) but it does not those views are wrong.
- Some guys from some countries come with cultural annoyances from the get go, the usa drunk frat boys (some highschoolers too i had issues like this with wrestlers in high school), again before me knowing op was australian, for some reason the ones i met from the most part behave like that....
Nothing to add here - pretty correct. Some cultures are more "AMOGY" than others.
- then we have that "the dude does not care about you getting the girl, they just want to screw you over".... There is an inherit assumption that you have the girl and you are seducing the girl. This is flawed, they act like this even if you have no girls...And even if you have girls the "they just want to screw you over" i don't know about this...
In a setting where mating or social status is on the agenda (both extremely prevalent in clubs), guys will always try to find ways to screw you over - either because they want your girl, or because they want you to fail so they can feel better about themselves. This goes even for guys who act friendly and brotherly like. How many times have I not met dudes who act all nice, only for me to lower my guard and have the guy use the first opportunity he gets to try to snatch my girl.
This even happens in cases where I for example invite some so-called cool dude for a threesome (I used to play the good old "give me a threesome with 2 girls, and I am ok with a threesome with 2 guys" kind of play), which means he is invited to tag along to fuck MY FB. Nice of me right? Well in the two last encounters, both tried to get my girl to leave with them (from my place) after they fuck them (they always fail since my girls are loyal). In both cases, the guys took both my and my girl's number (this is done by choice because it is for security reasons - guys behave better when they know we can trace them) and in all cases, the guys got all clingy on my girls. My girls, loyal as they are, tell me about it. But I care little, but what I find funny is how the guy whenever they meet me, act all "bro-like" and want to hang out (to get access to clubs and stuff). I ignore them of course - and block them.
I am using this as an example to illustrate how far it can go. I know this is anectotal, but I still haven't met any guys who genuinely wanted to be nice in a club without having at least some ulterior motives (could be malicious or just neutral - but those motives are always instrumental).
I also, from a logical point of view fail to see why any guys would do anything differently. I do not see why he shouldn't have ulterior instrumental motives. It is all instrumental, because it makes sense.
So this, in addition to my experience, as well as those extreme anecdotal cases has led me to believe that one truly has no friends in field.
Unless someone is an actual friend - as in a true friend, I trust no men. I have no reasons to do so. It is all fake. It is all a game. It is all a competition.
- also the no guys are your friends at the club, no all guys have agendas like this.... I met amazing friends at the clubs...
They all have agendas and instrumental ulterior motives. This does not mean those are necessarily malicious and evil. It can be as "innocent" as seeing you as a cool dude who can be beneficial to know in field.
The relationship is instrumental, and honestly totally "fine" if mutual.
And of course, from there one could totally grow from an "instrumental" relationship into true friendship. This is in line the good old theories regarding friendship from the antique greek philosophers.
A leach in field is ok, if you can leach back from him. A mutually beneficial relationship (on an instrumental level) is totally fine by me and I see no evil in it. But he will remain loyal only if it benefits him (unless he is to become a true friend).
I am giving some context behind my theory but I am still fully convinced that one, in field, has no true friends.
Edit: It is a bit of a different context if the person you are with in field is one you are going out with - things are a bit different in this context. I am here talking about guy you meet in field! People you bring to the field of also know outside of the field is an entirely different discussion.
(I have like 5 straight male friends in total when I come to think of it - and in Paris I have none!)
Also people think i am big and muscular, but i also get shit, cause i am super goofy... The op is muscular and 6 something
Agreed that this is prone to happen.
- fun vibe party dudes (i am like this i go to groups of guys and women and i don't go there to amog anyone but to bring good vibes), i am sure there are other dudes like me.
You may consciously believe you bring good vibes, but really you just do it to state yourself up, or to not look lonely when not in set. That's what i would do.
But yeah maybe there are exceptions. Exceptions do not make the rules.
- the amog asshole types.- In my experience this is very unusual but yeah you have those, but is super rare now a days in my neck of the woods.
- the leach/opportunist.- this is what i encounter over and over and over... But even those is not that bad, at times i let them have the girl cause they get all exited and overreach and she is back to me or i tool them diplomatically:
Well no disagreement here.
-Teevster