A Hunter's Journey

[Beck Bass]

THE KING IS BECK
___________________

Yesterday Mr. P and his younger natural friend (I don't think I gave him an alias yet, let's go with... Chap) went with me to this bar near uni. University party type of thing, loads of early 20s hotties ripe for the picking. There was this samba-ish music playing live and some Rio funk stuff inside, we go outside and drink a lot of beer and smoke. Mr. P burns my arm with a cigarrete since him, Chap and Ace burned each other for Y010 reasons in New Year's Eve (I guess I was a bit too caught up with drama with my girl to participate). The Chap starts early and kiss some hottie that was there easy. His fundies are great, he's on his early 20s and I would say he has this very trendie Rio style to him. He also has tanned skin, like darker than most dudes here, so girls are generally very open to him. That said, he's quite impatient with girls and mostly just comes in like "hey let's go let's go girl", kinda cat calling, kinda smirking with this devilish smile on his face. He reminds me a bit of me when I was his age, though our styles are quite different. Some girl sends him some nudes and he shows us, I don't complain, but I would never do that lol. That girl is particular is giving him crap, he stops following her on IG just to cause drama, she soon sends him some messages with some teenage drama stuff. He asks me "what do I send her", I told him send her "you know what I want", and leave her alone for like an hour, he goes yeah, sends the message, but then keeps on texting her a bunch of stuff. Soon after he's like "oh fuck this girl", make out with a bunch more, then leaves with a redhead chick to her house, sends us a pic in her bed later lmao

I talked to lots of girls, made out with like 5 I think (even a triple kiss with a dude lmao, the girl was being all skittish and the dude was her friend, then we made out just me and her after, it was dope, then the dude was like "what about me", I was like "nah m8 lmao"). I approached a girl that had a button up very similar to mine (if not the same, some deep blue flowery stuff, I look great on it), she told me she had a boyfriend in another city and didn't want to cheat, I insisted a little, to feel if she was being real or just testing me, but then I kissed her goodbye. Some chubbier redhead (think like a Viking-ish girl with a cute dirty hoe face) was really eating my face, I wanted to pull her but she gave me some crap, I got her IG, she says when the semestre is over we meet (we study on the same uni). Other girls were mostly just quick make outs, there was some brunette there that I met the night before on the club but we just kinda ignored each other. It was fun though, this place is a goldmine if you're into young silly college girls (and I'm sure am!).
Last girl I approached was like an absolute 7/7 for me, though she's quite young. Blonde, thicccc, great body, a bit tall but shorter than me, beauuutiful face, luckly I feeling like such a champ I approached her like she was just another silly girl (and she really is). I came in swaggin and she already came with a "oh I'm chill today, I don't wanna make out with anyone", I was like, ok, I'm chill. I started asking about her, she told me she didn't really do anything, I think she was 19. I asked her what she wanted to do (little tiny deep dive), she told me she wanted to have some "beauty" biz and fitness stuff, I was like "oh you do look like you have some authority on the subject, you look fiiit", she was eating it up. She gave me her IG, I asked to follow her but nothing Saturday (then yesterday noon she followed me back lol, it felt cool, I though she was just being polite and then would block me or some shit, but it seems she really liked our convo, I mean, it was great).

Anyway around 10PM Chap leaves to the girl's house (I think Mr. P approached her and got her IG, not sure), and Mr. P and me got and Uber to the usual club. I was like man I could go home and sleep now, I'm chill, but he offered it and I was like, ok, wherever you go, I go with you. He also made the Uber stop by some girls house, her friend was really drunk and she wasn't being able to get an Uber for some reason, Mr. P is a cool guy (he told me he started dating HBGipsy, she broke up with her bf and he jumped at the opportunity it seems, beat me to the punch). Anyway we stop by a nearby bar, get some burgers and then on our way to the club, we pass by a girl... I recognize this girl from somewhere... I looked at her a bit puzzled, she looks at me, then she goes, "oh it's you from the club yesterday!".
Apparently she was there from 10 to 11 PM or something, she talks about the music started going all "TikTok gen" or something, she was like ooh I'm too old for this (she's 28). We banter a little, she says she thought I was her friend's X, apparently I look just like him (she shows me a photo and the dude looks nothing like me lmao). She was like "oh I was texting her, he's here, he's sandwiched between two girls twearking, he's such a jerk". It seems like she wanted to show me she saw me and that I was doing well with the ladies, would be great if some other hot girl overheard this, but the only ones listening are us and her ugly friend (the ex of the dude lol). I get her IG as well, she tell me to text her how it's in the club, as we are leaving, if they should join us, I text her but she doesn't even see it, should have just ignored her, but she does follow me back.

We enter the usual club and who do I see... HBAsian, yeah, the one and only (was that her alias? lol), and she comes confronting me. Wednesday I told her I would go to the club, to see her (I was needy, for sure, but it's also I haven't had sex in a month, so I'm like whatever, you'll do), but it was really rainy, I even tried leaving my appartment, but my sneakers got soaked lmao, I sent her a text like "oh sorry cant make it, all my shoes are unuseable and I forgot about em", which was kinda true, then she got mad I think, but she suggested I would go to the club Saturday, after I told her we should have icecream anyday. I told her I wouldn't go, since I was there at this other place, but then, yeah, we're there, I even told Mr. P as we were getting into the Uber "omg gonna have to bang HBAsian now, look at what you make me do".
She comes up full of attitude, and "ooh so you're here now?!?", I tell her to chill, but honestly I don't owe this girl anything, I don't care. A little while after Mr. P and I are in the dancefloor, and I can see her talking on the VIP to some other girl that I made out with there before, that I got the number but never followed up (because I was feeling guilty because of my girl, back then). I'm like, great, my whole fanclub is united tonight! (I look at Asian girl while she there with a face like "waza" and she just looks mad lol).

There's some fine birds there, but no girl looks like crazy dtf, and most look engrossed in their groups, this club is starting to get kinda shit. Anyway, there's a little Asian girl dancing with her friend (not HBAsian, this one is thinner and uses less makeup and shit). She looks very plain, like very Japanese girl, but the way she's dancing... It reminds me of my ex, like this shy sexy excited type of girl. Her friend looks decent as well, so I hesitate a bit, but then I approach. Soon we're kissing, and damn, she looks very plain, but her kissing is pretty decent... Soft, wet warm lips rubbing against mine with some passion, I could tell she was very excited that I approached her, though she's more the reserved type. She doesn't wanna stop kissing, so I'm like, pull time, but she tells me she's with her friend. I get her IG and move on a bit. I think I made out with some other girl there but I can't really remember, maybe approached a few other sets, but around 3AM I leave, as I kinda got what I wanted and Mr. P was engaged with some other group.

So now I have all this girls on IG to text... Btw I also randomly met HBIndie on the mall last week. I had deleted my IG, because of the break up and just being tired of wasting time on it, but my friend that works on the cruise asked me to see some silly video there, and since he's my best friend, pretty much, I couldn't say no. I got back and saw the video, I was walking on the mall and just laughing at this silly video, and then out of the blue I see... A really thin girl, with a ridiculous bang... I know who she is, but I'm barely believing it. Anyway I'm laughing at this video, then I start laughing at the coincidence of seeing her, and she laughs to me as well, but I'm like, is that really her? Or just some cute random girl that laughed at me because I laughed first? I think of going after her, but she disappears quickly, I'm like, whatever. Since I'm on IG again, I follow her, then ask her if it was really her. She takes a while to answer, but yeah, it was her, and she follows me back. I tell her I wanna see her cute face again, but she's just ignoring me now for some reason. Fuck this hoe (try I will).

Been reading Hector's book on texting. It took a little while for me to get used to the format (really short paragraphs and stuff like that), but I get that is part of the content of the book, to look more like a screen, more like texts, to make my mind think more in line with what's taught in the book. I read about a quarter and I gotta say it's really good, the fundamental theorem of texting got me laughing my ass off, but it's sounds stuff. Will be devouring it, hopefully I can finish today or tomorrow, i'll probably be checking it often until I really get and test everything. At least now I have more girls to text.

I'm also back on Tinder, some article by Chase was briefly mentioning the ELO system, and that got me thinking... So I was trying my theories.
I was left swiping almost all girls, on an atempt to boost my "ELO" as much as I can (assuming a girl that likes me and I don't like back gives me a bit of her ELO), but I would like girls I found really attractive, specially if I thought I had a shot (I mean, what's the point if I reject every girl?). Took me quite a while to get a match, and then it was a girl that I wasn't that much even into, I was trying to remember if I liked her lol. Anyway at least she was answering, but she's from another city and just left, so fuck it. I got Tinder+ for the week and I'm trying to use my super likes strategically. If you think about only ELO, super likes are a bit suicidal, specially if the girl only cares about ELO, but most girls don't even know anything I suppose or care, their ELO should be naturally much higher than the average male, and they get bombarded anyway with likes and messages. So what I'm doing is super liking girls that are hot, but I think I have a shot with, girls that should be more on demand but are not obviously attwhores or just there for IG followers. I got two matches with very hot girls, they answered my openers but then they kinda stopped replying... I don't know if just improving my texting can help much, but I'll be improving regardless. I probably need way better photos, all my best photos my girl took from me. But I also gotta get back on the gym and lose a few pounds, I'll be back once I can afford (like have a job and all that, I did 3 interviews last week and they went well, I think, so I'm hopeful, maybe that helped my confidence this week). Anyway I also used boost, I think that's probably the worst for your ELO because lots of girls will see your profile and probably swipe left, but at the same time it gives you the best chances with the girls you liked (without a super like), so yeah... Dunno. I didn't get much from it other than a bunch of likes and a match with an average girl, so maybe it actually helped my ELO, no way to tell. I'll keep on experimenting with Tinder and see what I can come up with.

So I think I'm finally moving on emotionally from my ex, yesterday I cried randomly as I remembered some dope stuff she said to me, but it's for the best, after all, our sex drives are just too different and I don't really want to commit to any girl right now (or maybe ever). No lays just yet, but I'm feeling like the champ is back and I'm gonna enjoy this year with many hotties, time to finally take my game to the next level, after almost 4 years of open-ish relationships, I'm finally fully single.

Godspeed

 

[Beck Bass]

I fell while longboarding Monday. I took a little video for an IG story (to get some att from hoes ofc), but then like 5 minutes after I fell miserably in the park (two dudes in bicycles were moving like turtles blocking the way, I dogded them and went straight into a thich branch, I was going way too fast). I went home bleeding and feeling like a fool. Basically my hand was hurt exactly where it rests while using a mouse, and my other knee has a big band under most of it that was bleeding. All superficial, but I was thinking "how am I supposed to fuck a girl now?", I barely could walk. I'm getting much better though and hopefully will be 100% functional soon.

I've got a date with the Asian chick from the club tomorrow, hopefully she doesn't flake, let's call her HBJaps. I was pushing for today but she said her (girl)friend was free today, she's on vacation here so I wanted to meet her soon (she's leaving like like 3 weeks I think). Also my friend that works in a cruise is back, he's dope, so I'm happy (I even went to meet him a day after the accident, even though I could barely walk lol).

HBGipsy texted me yesterday to ask me if I was going to class, maybe Mr. P was exagerating a bit about how close they were now (he was basically implying they were an item, I was like, chill, he's my friend, but also...). She said she just wanted to chit chat. Last time I was there the class was over and she told me she was tired and would go to sleep on her car, I was like, ok then, that's your choice, huh? I almost invited myself but she really didn't seemed like she was game that day, so I kinda moved on mentally, but I was really chill. And then she texts me again, of course, knowing she fucked up. Not sure if I'm gonna see her again so soon, but even if I do, Mr. P is gonna be mad if something happens between us, so not sure it's worth it anyway. She's fine though, and I know she wants some.

Tinder is a bit of a shitshow, I bought this cheap codes for a week of plus, so I have 5 super likes a day, I spend it on the hottest hoes that look like I have some chance with, I usually match with one a day, they respond to my situational cool opener, but then they don't answer anymore. Maybe my follow up game is shit, but I'm not sure how to improve it. Been thinking about how to move those hoes asp to IG, but not sure how to do it naturally or if it's even a good idea, when my profile isn't even that great. Also been trying to finish Hectors book, but it's quite a lot of text, been searching for a job also takes quite a while of my time.

Anyway let's see how this weekend goes, hopefully I'll get my first lay since I broke up with my girl... Heck, first one since HBAsian!

 

[Beck Bass]

So yeah, I had some fun with that little Asian girl from the club (not the other one that my ex disliked).
I've been to the usual club a few times but it was kinda shit tbh, girls seem to always be with their boyfriends (or girlfriends, like the typical ugly jelly lesbian gf), the vibe there has been kinda depressing. I went to that other club I met HBOcean on but it was even worse, it was a rock night playing like Linkin Park so I didn't expect much anyway lol.

I've been trying to approaching though and working on sprezzatura and my overall vibe, been feeling like I'm too focused on results and not having as much fun, which is just backfiring. I managed to do a decent approach on a girl that was staring me when I was leaving one night. I assumed she was leaving soon as well, so I just waited outside the club against the wall, doing my best James Dean pose. Eventually she passed me by and stared at me again, I went after her on the street, came from the side, touched her upper arm lightly and opened. She said she was taking her friends home, but she lived nearby, since I also live near I got her IG and told her we should hang out soon, she agreed. I tried going out with her soon, but I met her on a Friday, Saturday it was a friend's goodbye party (though in the end he didn't leave lol) so I couldn't meet her. Sunday she couldn't, she wanted to do next weekend but I travelled with my family to the beach so no game. Still to go out with her, she likes all my stuff on IG so I feel she's in the bag, but I'm not even that excited about her, she's like a 4/7, her face is like meeh but her body seems decent. I guess I got more excited about approaching a girl on the street then actually the girl I was approaching lol, she was a very very green light though.

Read through almost all of Hector's book and it's been helping me a lot with texting... No magic bullet like a girl that barely gave me her contact being eager to meet me, but with the girls I have a decent shot it's helping quite a bit. In fact yesterday around midnight (more like today) I matched with a spicy redhead, cute face, her body looks fine as well, her profile says she's "looking for something casual", and I sent a great basic opener, she answered in 2 minutes, I just kept the ball rolling and got her to agree to meet me in like 3 little bursts of messages lol. I got her on my IG and she told me she can meet tomorrow night, I'm excited (she's hot enough I had the urge to wank over her pics last night lmao).

Still looking for a job though, been really short on money, like I need to start working start of next month tops. I did a couple of interviews Friday and one seemed like I got the job, though pay was relatively low... Still, if it pays the bills, I'm going for it, I can always find a better one next. Carnival is around the corner here so it feels people really aren't putting much effort to hire anyone right now, which doesn't help.

Speaking of Carnival, I'm going to São Paulo with my friends this weekend, it's gonna be dope! Mr. P actually offered to pay for my bus ticket there, he knows I've been looking for a job for a while and he said "I want you there, let's go", so I couldn't really refuse (I'll pay him back soon enough). My friend from the cruise is also here now and it's been dope being with him, though we've been smoking too much weed, I need to stop, I don't feel like it's helping me with much. That said we're doing shrooms again while he's here lol, should be fun

 

[Beck Bass]

spicy redhead, cute face, her body looks fine as well, her profile says she's "looking for something casual", and I sent a great basic opener, she answered in 2 minutes, I just kept the ball rolling and got her to agree to meet me in like 3 little bursts of messages lol. I got her on my IG and she told me she can meet tomorrow night, I'm excited

She texted me around lunch to confirm it was on (I was gonna text her closer to the time of the date, so that gave me a bit of a feeling like she was too eager to meet me, that maybe something was off... but I told myself whatever), then texted me near the time to tell me she would be late. Luckly I was just going to leave at that time, so I asked her around when she was going to arrive, and then left later. I got there and she was waiting for me already, looking fine.

She's of course a bit nervous at first, she's very cute and nextdoorzy, she tells me about her work (she's a teacher for young kids). I relate a bit, she tells me she was a bit nervous to meet me because we barely texted lol (I went with that full steam ahead approach and asked her out in like half an hour of little bursts of texts, as I said earlier). I told her I asked her out soon because many times texting girls on apps doesn't lead to anything, people just waste time, so I rather go out fast. She told me that was the first time she was meeting a guy she barely texted at all, I guess that says something about the quality of my Tinder profile and my renewed texting skills.

Then she asks me why I'm on Tinder, I tell her I just go out of a relationship with a girl I met on Tinder on the start of the year, so I figured I would meet new people there. She tells me she's the same, she broke up with the guy in October, after 3.5 years, she tells me she wasn't happy, but she still in good terms with him, I tell her I'm the same with my girl. The whole time, since we arrived, I'm very much close to her, like in her personal space, talking, she's leaning against a "bar counter" thingy and we're facing each other. I do some "accidental" light touch, I feel she's starting to give in, she tells me she was afraid I was a psycho, so she said she didn't want to drink, she orders a burger and some soda.

I'm drinking beer and soon I start getting a bit tispy, I move her outside and she's now leaning against a wall, conversation is getting a bit more silly, she asks me about height and stupid stuff like that. Eventually I get closer to her and she gives me bedroom eyes, we start making out... Dang she's a good kisser, her lips are very soft, her frenching is good. Her body is fiiine, I grab her ass but she resists at first, I appologize lightly, as usual, just saying "sorry..." and shruging my shoulders a bit, soon I'm trying again lol. She has some very nice tits, pale skin, her hair is that orange tinted stuff, but very well done, she looks sexy af. We then make out for very, very long, at first I'm struggling to get hard, I'm not even sure I should get hard around those people at the bar, but making out gets heavier and I'm starting to get a major boner lol.

I ask her if she wants to go see my "sticker collection" at my appartment, listen to some music, she's like which one is it? I laugh, but she tells me she has to wake up early and shit like that. I feel like I could have pushed harder, because I could tell she was very much into me and turned on, but I was like also thinking about how I don't need to rush this, she's very much into me, it's Carnival this weekend, so I'm just gonna go crazy, and we can always see each other afterwards, so I seeded a next date at my appartment. Since she told me she really likes sweet stuff and doesn't drink beer, I told her I could make some cool drinks for her at my appartment, she was like "oh I'm gonna hold you to it!". She called her Uber around 10PM and left.

Feeling super good about this girl, my friends asked about my date and when my friend's ex wife saw her pics she was like "oh she looks like that actress XYZ", "she looks so cute, don't break her heart Beck!". Her tiddies are something else, I gotta admit. Gonna focus on going crazy on Carnival now (she told me she's also travelling so I can't do much with her now anyways) and afterwards it's time to close this one.

Another cutey with big tidies matched with me and it was going well, she agreed to our date, but then I asked for her contact and she kinda disappeared. I think Tinder has some real quality hoes on sale this Carnival, I'm liking what I'm seeing lol. Gonna try to use my plus to get some matches in São Paulo for when I arrive there, maybe get a date during Friday, since I won't be doing much there and Mr. P is gonna be working remotely.

Godspeed

 

[Beck Bass]

Feeling super good about this girl

Not anymore lmao, I guess I just chased too hard... I mean, I was having a hard time finding a girl I actually liked after breaking up with my ex. At first my read on her is she thought I was too fuckboy-ish and still too attached to my ex, so I went overboard with the validation on IG (answering a bunch of stories) and after a while sent her some weird parting shot telling her I really really liked her and wanted to see her again... And mentioning I almost said something I shouldn't when we had sex.
Honestly maybe I was just playing with it to see how it went, and I sure got a reaction from her. Her texts back were basically "wow I wasn't expecting that message... oh sorry, I don't want anything more involved right now", I was like, fine, if you wanna see me, drop me a line, ball on her court type of thing, but it's more than dead at this point.

I actually sent her all those stupid messages after doing some shrooms. I was doing some deep emotional thinking about my past and my relationship with girls along with my stoner friends (two girls and my boi Punny), almost crying again... It sounds lame, but I think I really did some trauma healing after two shrooms sessions. The first one I actually overdosed a bit, started seeing a bunch of crazy shit, cried like a baby, texted my ex a bunch of crazy shit about how much I love her and what not, omg. But in the end, this turned out to be pretty good.

My ex came by on Sunday. At first she was skeptical, and told me some shit like "don't get any ideas, we're only gonna talk" after I asked her if we could see each other. Since the redhead, I tried approaching tons of girls but I wasn't really feeling it, comparing them too much to her, expecting girls to recieve me like a boss, even if I'm acting like a bitch, that type of lame stuff. Anyway, she agreed to meet, and on Saturday she was texting me kinda excited, so I knew something good would came out of this.

When I was tripping ball on shrooms I think I actually texted her I wanted to marry her and have kids, crazy crap, but to be honest, I'm revaluating a lot of stuff in my life right now, and I think I actually might really wanna have kids (and have them young, so I can teach them well while I'm not some old sack), Anyway, she said she wanted to see other guys and have new experiences, and I was kinda reliefed, I started regretting those messages because ofc they were over the top, even if I'm kinda feeling this a bit now. I also think new experiences are gonna be great for her, because she really is inexperienced and maybe some experience with some guys that aren't the fucking crazy sex god I am might make her value me more.

We then had a lovely lunch and fucked like rabbits. It actually was the most passionate sex I've ever had. I'll be real and say I saw a pic she posted on her stories on Carnival and she was looking gorgeous, and since then I wanted to cum on that little beautiful slut, I really needed that to move on for now, and now I feel much better. After that we spent the whole day and night watching crap laying together like little puppies in love. Then the next morning she left, I guess now we have this weird friends with benefits thing (or "colorful friendship", as we call it in Brazil), which I can't complain about.

Anyway, quite funny that I got onetinis for a girl that isn't my ex and even managed to give her some lame partying shot, but still, I did it.
Now I feel like I can move on a bit and finally fuck other hoes properly. I feel the clubs are getting a bit better as well, and as my mental state gets in place, I should be doing some real work to get some lays this year. My ex actually told me something like "you're single now, go get that threesome!", gonna shove it in her face lmao

Got a job finally, but it barely pays the bills, even though people there are very nice to me. I got a great opportunity for a new job in a big tech company though, so hopefully that comes throught, I still wanna go to Japan (with my ex lol, we actually talked about kids and she told me she want to have them in like 4 years, not sure if it's too soon for me, but I could fuck a shitton of pussy in 4 years, I'll show you), so I gotta save up.

Peace and love brothers <3

 

[Railer]

Be aware that you need to maintain her strongly emotionally bound to you over the course of those supposed four years …

Actually, I’m convinced that having a woman stray is never good - not even for her.

Even if all goes according to your … imagination, she will likely be different then.

I would not want my girl to progress beyond "curious" level. Actually I’d want her in trusting/naïve.

Let’s do the threesome with the redhead though hehe

 

[Beck Bass]

Actually, I’m convinced that having a woman stray is never good - not even for her.

I know what you mean... I mean, I'm not sure what is going at the moment. Maybe eventually we'll fight over this and I'll have to let her go for good... At least for a while, but if it comes to this, then so be it.

Even if all goes according to your … imagination, she will likely be different then.

Yeah, I was hoping that would help our differences in sex drive, because this is by far our biggest problem right now... I don't care as much about her losing a bit of her "innocence" as long as we get more levelled on that.

Let’s do the threesome with the redhead though hehe

Lol
Now thinking about it again, I suppose she was a bit on autorejection, and of course you don't fix that with more attention/increasing your attainability (not once she's fully there, or rather, fully out).

She mentioned many times how high my self steem was, and her face, by itself, is not really beautiful, just really cute, if you know what I mean (her body though... ). So the equation on her head:

I can't keep him long term, really = no boyfriend potential (specially since there was this whole shtuff with my ex and I unarchived some old photos with her recently)
Sex was good (I'm assuming, I mean, she told me no guy ever put her finger down her butthole lol), but not really mindblowing (my knee was hurt and I couldn't really perform on the usual level) = she doesn't feel like having something casual and risking getting attached to a guy she can't really keep (and get hurt)

She still follows me on IG though and sees everything I post, so I could just bombard her with value and get her out again, probably, but at this point I rather focus on the really beautiful girls. I've always got AIs from them (and I get even more now), but I was too focused on getting easier sex with cute-ish girls to really act on it (plus my inner game not quite being there, and those girls just being rarer, in general). I wanna get to a point where I have so many beautiful girls willing to chug on my D that I know that me and my ex really are a great match (and if we aren't anymore, I've got plenty of options)

 

[Beck Bass]

Feeling kinda weird again.

Yesterday my friend that's living on another city wanted to go out with Punny and the girls, so we did. We went to this bar that was playing some Irish-ish music and drank some beer. Beer was decent and for a fair price, food was really expensive.

I flirted a lot with the friend of my friend's ex, this bleached blonde (more like just the tips of her hair) brunette. She looks native American and it's kinda tall, sexy legs. I actually said everytime I got high she would become specially sexy to me last time I did shrooms lol, my friends were laughing a lot, and since then flirting got more intense. She says she hates men, rather be lesbian and shit like that, she full on third phase, but she's got a sense of humor to her, at least. We made out last year when my ex and I broke up on October, and I almost pulled her to my place some other day, but it didn't quite happen (our friend, the ex of one of my best friends, was kinda depressed so she stayed there to make her company).

Anyway there was this redhead at the table on our side. She came in later with her friend, and was looking at me since she arrived. A 4/7, barely bangable, a bit chubby and her face, not quite the cutest, but she looked fine on her pantyhose and her hair was decent (plus she was a very green light, given the environ). I sat a bit closer to her, still on our table, and her friend disappeared to the bathroom, I'm assuming, so I decided to approach. She talked a lot and I wasn't really feeling an opnening to escalate kino, her convo was pretty boring and she kept saying she was old and I was young (she was like 34), I said I didn't care and she looked younger, but she kept annoying me and shit. Her friend came back, and by the time I approached them we were almost leaving, so I excused myself, got her number (she asked me "you will grab my number?" like she was surprised, but still gave it to me), and then I left with my friends. I texted her later but no answer, not really surprised. My friend said she was in the bag and I could have kissed her if I wanted to, but I wasn't feeling it.

To be real I'm kinda not feeling most girls too much lately. It's rare that I think a girl is hot or interesting enough for it to be worth my time, approaching and gaming them. Still, I'm approaching, and then I find myself in those situations where I just talk to the girl for no reason and then excuse myself and leave lol.
Being very honest, I wouldn't mind fucking her, but our convo was boring as fuck, and I didn't quite know what to talk about. I guess her state wasn't quite the best, socially, when I approached, and she was playing catchup from the beginning. I think if I just pressed with kino I could have made something happen, but she wasn't hot enough for me to have the drive for that. I was also tired feom working all day far away from home, I really gotta find some remote work.

Still, it was cool having the courage to approach randomly like that, I mean, I wasn't expecting to approach any girl yesterday, I guess I just gotta work harder on actually closing lol

Also, I was trying to access the forums from my phone to post this minutes ago and I got a weird message from the firewall saying my IP was banned or something, I was like "omg what did I do to be banned really?", but I retried minutes after and it loaded just fine.

 

[Beck Bass]

Went to the movies with my ex on Tuesday, no sex, then we "fucked" Saturday night.
When we see each other, it's like we never broke up, but she's been getting colder over text.
I've been a bit clingy, but on an annoying, "you gotta give me attention" type of way, she was annoyed at first, but then we met up, so whatever.

She texted me that "we are not on a relationship anymore", so she won't treat me 'this way". I guess she's just trying to show me some respect or something, go girl boss! Also she said she wants to meet other people, I was like "I think this will be good for you! ", her face was like, I guess this backfired (guess I already wrote about that lol). She texted me that she doesn't understand me, because I was making it very clear I wanted to be on a LTR with her again, and she said "now you have all you always wanted, you can be with me (as in fuck her) and with other girls". I think she's just skeptical because I broke up with her so many times, it's not even fair at this point.

I honestly love her and think she's the dopest girl I've ever met, she's my best friend, as far as girls goes... And this friends with benefits arrangement is just too good to be true, for me. Like I was testing her to see if it was really real, like did I really just downgrade her to a FwB and she's fine with it? I was thinking she must be seeing some guys she's excited about to keep things as is, but really I can't really be bothered to worry about her dating life. She can do whatever she wants now, I gotta get some lays myself (and hopefully keep on fucking her and showing her I'm the best, regardless, because I mean, I'm really am

There was this girl on the bus giving me super hard AIs and almost approaching me just out of eyefucking, lots of young hotties on public transportation giving me attention... But I never really had the cajones to do it, also I'm only now finishing my first month on this job, so it was quite a while since I had any experience with that (been working remotely since 2020, so it was little after I lost my V-card, around when my night game was first peaking... So my game wasn't quite the best, back then). Hopefully I'll get better and figure out how to approach hotties on the bus, or maybe get them to approach moi

Anyway new job kinda sucks, the work itself is really chill frontend stuff that I'm used to, but it's very far away from home, more than an hour by bus, and salary is shit. Only good part really are the hotties on public transportation, but if I had the time and money to spare, I could be on the gym, meeting girls there, maybe (and working on my fitness), and I can also take random buses if I feel like it just to approach some women. I did get a proposal for this remote work though, company works for a lot of famous American companies, but their hiring process is really sluggish. Initial salary is not that impressive (much better than my current one, still lol), but one or two years there and I could be working for any tech company I wish, I'm guessing (plus if my salary goes higher I could see myself still being there). Nothing guaranteed right now, but I'm still applying for tons of jobs.

Oh I have this date this week with a girl from Tinder I matched multiple times (across years), but she never texted back, until now (Hec's book really made texting click to me). Hopefully a new lay. Nightgame has been kinda shit, usual club is always packed but people are never having that great of a time, it seems, also I'm low on cash to be going out often, so I guess I'll chill until April

 

[Beck Bass]

Been feeling kinda thorn emotionally with the whole thing with my ex. When we see each other, it's like we're still together, but through messages, it's like I'm chasing and chasing... Maybe if it works and we go out and I fuck her and other hotties, it would be great, but I sure don't feel great atm about the whole situation.
I asked her if she wanted to see me this weekend and she told she couldn't, and then I'm left wondering if she has a new guy she's more excited about... If I'll end up losing a girl that was mine and I thought I could spend my life with... Thing I never felt before, and feel really shitty.
But by the end of the day, I ended things because I wasn't happy (more like things were unsustainable as they were, her little jealousy show at New Years eve was just the peak moment that showed that), and I have to stand by my word, now.

It just feels to me kinda bad because it's really incongruent that a girl that was this jealous of me 3 months ago and willing to spend her life with me now treats me with such casualness and almost lack of interest (through messages, at least). Maybe she's just playing games with my mind and willing to torture me for "everything" that I've done to her? She tells me I "cheated" on her for that one girl I kissed on the club before we broke up in October, but I had already banged Asian chick with her consent, so I think it's more on her for feeling betrayed and telling me she wouldn't mind me banging other girls when clearly, she did.
There's also the fact that one of her best friends hates me and it's probably talking shit about me and making her feel right no matter what she does, she's just a jealous bitch, but my ex keeps her as company, even if she's now on the US with her fat man, go figure.

@mist is right and I need to man the fuck up and bring my real game to the day if I really wanna daygame. Stop bullshitting myself and get real, really approach and get rejected and stuff like that. It's just that with night game it was way easier I think to learn game and act like a new person, that goes for women, since it was such a new environ back then, but during the day, I haven't been approaching girls for years, so it's quite the adaptation. Will try to make a smooth transition.

Work it's been shit, but new job is coming soon, hopefully. Of course this seeps in into my game and personal life, hard to night game without money, hard to get anything done while I have to worry about getting a decent job, because my current one swallows most of my time. I've been really tired

 

[POB]

Been feeling kinda thorn emotionally with the whole thing with my ex. When we see each other, it's like we're still together, but through messages, it's like I'm chasing and chasing... Maybe if it works and we go out and I fuck her and other hotties, it would be great, but I sure don't feel great atm about the whole situation.

Best advice you could get @Beck Bass : cut contact with her for at least 6 months (a year is better).
Not kidding, down the line:
1) she will either be back and willing to do everything you want, including allowing you to fuck other girls, OR
2) she will get a guy who's the complete opposite of you, fullfil her disney for a while, then come back when she feels bored (as an FB if she stays with him, or as your GF if they break-up) OR
3) you guys will take a long hiatus, your game and relationsip skills will dramatically improve and you'll clearly see that this relationship was just a stepping stone to something better.

 

[mist]

@mist is right and I need to man the fuck up and bring my real game to the day if I really wanna daygame. Stop bullshitting myself and get real, really approach and get rejected and stuff like that. It's just that with night game it was way easier I think to learn game and act like a new person, that goes for women, since it was such a new environ back then, but during the day, I haven't been approaching girls for years, so it's quite the adaptation. Will try to make a smooth transition.

+1 POB's poins as usual and I'm excited to see what you run into with Daygame man.

1. But hey game isn't just a mountain of rejections. Might want to reframe this if you have something better

I mean sure a majority of women you meet aren't going to be in your bed...but man lowkey some of these girls I know for a fact you wouldn't anyway haha. Besides getting EVERY girl... be careful what your frame tells you you'd like haha


2. nightgame is heightened and there is some degree of chicks in beneficial states and social momentum for the seduction but you aren't a "new" person...sorry man no homo but a fair amount of women like you and you have already shown yourself you can attract women like your ex who you adore ... your just an attractive person. nothing new about it. No homo no homo no homo

next time around they'll actually cum and have better precedent for you to be the leader in your relationship.

I mean hell you were in a hot streak right before you dated her...again.

I read it and you lived it.

Life ebbs and flows man don't be caught in the current when the sails are right there for the sailing.

I'm on my Will V Shit with that last sentence lol...

hol up...am i Chase?

 

[Beck Bass]

Best advice you could get @Beck Bass : cut contact with her for at least 6 months (a year is better).

I know, logically, that's the best, but at the moment I don't feel like going out to game girls that much. I'm trying to focus on work (I have a great idea that could turn into a business eventually), plus I feel like I could learn a lot about sex and women just staying with her, so we came, slowly, to an agreement, and we are... back together lmao

She promissed me sex at least once a week, and honestly, I think other than our very different sex drives, we're a perfect match. I never met a girl I agree so much with, plus I think she's beautiful and we could have kids together in the future (I'm not sure I wanna be a dad just yet, but I've been reconsidering this for a while now).

I still game girls every now and then (lately on the bus it's like I'm trying hypnosis on girls lmao), but of course I don't go all the way (or even escalate much physically). I'm also taking this as a chance to experience other women in a different way, communicating more, appreciating their words and body language (also improving my verbal skills, which I think needs some ironing out as well).

I mean hell you were in a hot streak right before you dated her...again

Ikr, but I feel a bit like a passionate artist in that sense... Like sometimes I really feel it and go out and fuck lots of girls and I really enjoy it, and sometimes I just get tired of losing when rolling the dice and wanna chill a bit and focus on other stuff, and I feel like that now. Blame it on lady luck (or fate, or whatever, maybe the seasons here in Curitiba affecting women, and by extwnsion, me, in an unpredictable way... who knows?)

 

[POB]

I know, logically, that's the best, but at the moment I don't feel like going out to game girls that much. I'm trying to focus on work (I have a great idea that could turn into a business eventually), plus I feel like I could learn a lot about sex and women just staying with her, so we came, slowly, to an agreement, and we are... back together lmao

Nice! At the end of the day, follow your heart.

She promissed me sex at least once a week, and honestly, I think other than our very different sex drives, we're a perfect match. I never met a girl I agree so much with, plus I think she's beautiful and we could have kids together in the future (I'm not sure I wanna be a dad just yet, but I've been reconsidering this for a while now).

Those def are hard to come by (but please never think she is the only one capable of giving you that).

I still game girls every now and then (lately on the bus it's like I'm trying hypnosis on girls lmao), but of course I don't go all the way (or even escalate much physically). I'm also taking this as a chance to experience other women in a different way, communicating more, appreciating their words and body language (also improving my verbal skills, which I think needs some ironing out as well).

Although getting mono is not something I think leads to long-term happiness, you can definitely stay with one girl for a while and stil not loose the drive to go out to fuck other chicks. Just make sure you talk to her that you deeply care about protecting the relationship from outside interventions or drama! (this is as core as not losing your frame or going docile).

Ikr, but I feel a bit like a passionate artist in that sense... Like sometimes I really feel it and go out and fuck lots of girls and I really enjoy it, and sometimes I just get tired of losing when rolling the dice and wanna chill a bit and focus on other stuff, and I feel like that now.

Perfectly normal for seducers to feel that way.
Getting new girls all the time is work after all

 

[Beck Bass]

Read this entire book, The Black Swan, by Nassim Taleb. Felt a bit empty after finishing, haven't read a book so good in a while (Hec's texting book had a bit of this feeling but it was a bit more niche/instructional, I suppose). I can see it had a lot of influence in a lot of stuff I read, the guy deff knows how to write and the subject is very interesting, also, he's an interesting dude. I think the message of the book resonates so much with me because of seduction, being pragmatic and pratical and leaving theory behind is a big deal. There's no way you can know exactly how a real world situation will play out, so you just gotta go and do your best (mostly talking about approaching girls, here lol), game of asymmetrical returns and that type of stuff.

Work being kinda meh, got a few offers but mostly unstable-ish weird stuff so have been turning it down, mostly working on my project on my free hours, that are very few by the moment...

Speaking of free time, my girl and I have been... Kinda good. Like solid, but not quite on cloud 9, if you feel me. Sex is again mostly the issue, but it's very minor. When I come tired from work and her too, during the week, we are both too tired to be understanding with each other, like just cognitively it's harder to make it work, I just wish she was more sexual and she wishes I was less, or was more... straight forward with what I want? Like the day before yesterday I was eyefucking her and shit and she would just give me little pecks on the lips, we talked about it yesterday and she was like "oh you just wanted to fuck me", I was like, I wanted at least to make out with you properly, to have some intimacy, not necessarily to bang you (ofc I didn't say I didn't want to bang her lol), she was like, oh, why dontchu say it then? I was like, isn't it obvious I wanna kiss you if I'm staring you, then she was imitating me on some iritating way on how I kiss her and lick her all the time, I guess sometimes I can come across a bit needy with all my horniness lol, but most girls I would just fuck and we would be cool. But other than that, we get along perfectly, and she has been making an effort for us to have more sex, the at least a week agreement is being fulfilled so I feel better overall, I just wish she was a bit hornier so I could be working more with her towards making her cum, but it's tough because lately be both have been really busy.

Btw HBTall messaged me saying she was at my city this weekend, poor girl, I had to text her back saying I was back with my girl, she sent me a pic with a sad face. Maybe I can convince my girl about a threesome, but I mentioned something like that to HBTall and she didn't seem too excited...
Also there's this super hot beautiful girl I meet sometimes on the bus back from work, this Friday she was turning her head all the time to look at me, even did it as I was leaving the bus... Ofc I stared her quite a bit too, fuck, she's hot, but I wanna stay loyal to my girl... Maybe I can get her to give me a free pass or something, I mean, I'm way hornier than her and she's "allowed" me to fuck other girls before, but it's a delicate subject. Yesterday my girl told me something like "oh if don't do this you won't get your blowjob", I was like bitch there's a fucking line of girls outside waiting for a chance to give me a blowie if you don't want (without the bitch ofc lol), and she got a bit mad, told me I was being a dick, I was like, just don't try and manipulate me with sex, this shit won't fly with me

 

[Beck Bass]

Hey, how yall've been?
Wanted to write some stuff in here for a while, but not a whole lot to talk about.
Relationship with my girl has been dope, work sucks, nothing new or too interesting, but, still...

lots of young hotties on public transportation giving me attention...

Still lots of horny girls in transportation, though it's a whole more rare now that I'm only going 2 days a week. Actually my ex saw me on the bus one of those days lol, she texted me and kinda confessed she's been really horny... Then said she's waiting for her boyfriend to come from Germany (I think?) in December for her to finally have some sex. I was like if you wanna fuck and my girl is cool with it, whatever, but she seemed like she wanted me to work hard for it or even like go and make her mine again, which is just not gonna happen. She's like "ooh I'm sooo hornyyy but I love my boyfriend, so let's just be friends, ok?" I'm like, bitch, what are you even sayin???

Maybe I can get her to give me a free pass or something, I mean, I'm way hornier than her and she's "allowed" me to fuck other girls before, but it's a delicate subject.

Soo I was bothering my girl about that, and she actually agreed on letting me go out and make out with some other girl(s) tomorrow, since she'll be with her friends. She insisted I don't do anything "sexual" (like kissing isn't lol), I asked her if I could at least smack those girls' asses or something and she was like whatever, I was like how hard can I go? She was like, "I DONT CAAAAARE lol" (she's a funny chick).

At this point we're at a very solid LTR, I'm very happy with her, and we plan to move in together next year (more like in 2, 3 months). I was panicking a bit because it's pretty much marriage, but honestly I'm very happy with her, and I don't think I'm gonna find a girl that is such a good match for me, long term (I mean, there are certainly much more girls like that out there, but I'm already so happy with her, so why bother looking for more?). We also are spending a whole lot of time together, so it's not gonna be that massive of a change.

Sex has been getting way better, like I feel she's opened up more as she feels more secure in the relationship, and I think she's even starting to enjoy a bit our penetrative sex. When I cum inside her (when she's on her period, since really I don't wanna get her preggy, yet lol), it feels like something deeper to me. Last two times we had sex where like the best seshs of my life. I still wanna work with her more on getting her to cum, unfortunately time again is an issue, but I'm thinking of getting her some new toys soon, and if we really moving in together, we're gonna have plenty of time to explore her sexuality.

I think my plan is kinda have a biiit of freedom to game a bit while I move into this married life with her. I really wanna spend my life with her and I'm even thinking of having kids and shit. But I still wanna bang some other girls... I have no idea how many, or much of why lol. I was thinking maybe she won't mind so much I do this while we are dancing with marriage, as once we are really into the "let's make babies" phase I know that will be a goner (probably? lol) but I don't think there's much complications before that.

So tomorrow I'll be going out to game, after like 6 months... It's kinda crappy because I think clubs are gonna be kinda empty, it's been weirdly cold lately (after like the warmest days of the year here), and my wing from Carnival, that last week was all "ooh you should be single now, yada yada", has plans already (a rare chance to learn from me, and that's how he treats me?!? lol). I was thinking of inviting Ace, but he rarely approaches, and last time I was like "hey let's go get some birds" he really just stood there dancing and taking my momentum away from me as well... But also the last times I was out solo in clubs, I felt a bit off, so dunno. Maybe I'll just hit some random bars and see how I feel... It almost feels weird to go out to game without my friends as excuses.

She was like "oh it's just this one time", but I feel like she's gonna give in and help me with my needs on our relationship as long as I meet hers. Honestly I feel like I wanna be everything at once, the stable relationship guy that has a dope woman in his arms, but also the crazy playboy that get all the hotties... And I guess i'm gonna try and see where this leads me.

Peace

 

[Beck Bass]

But I still wanna bang some other girls... I have no idea how many, or much of why lol

I was playing this strategy game I like, and had a great victory on a match on a tournament, then I was like... Oh, this feels kinda like when I pull out something cool with a girl. So I guess, to me, it's more about the game in itself, like finding cool ways to "win". I really enjoy talking to random girls, getting them to open up, comply and all. Also being in the club yesternight felt good, like that feeling of freedom and slight danger of just breathing the colder air at night outside, having that thrill of the hunt, not knowing how random things are gonna turn out, I miss that, for sure.

So I went out and had a feel beers with Ace, then I went solo to the bar near the usual club, where I met a random guy from a state more on the country side of Brazil. He said I looked like a cool dude, more extroverted than most out there (quite funny how people here used to call me shy), said it was his first outing on the city, so I thought it could be cool to have him as a wing. That said, his fundies were veeery lacking, quite a beer belly, no sense of style (even though he said he's an entrepeneur and runs a business of millions), so already I'm thinking like maybe that's not quite the best idea...

And indeed he did drag me down quite a bit. I tried being a bro and showed him the city, but it was hard going to approach girls, because by default our vibe was a bit off. That said, when we were leaving, around 1AM (Ace was on another venue and said it was going crazy there), I saw this girl, brunnete, really beautiful face, kinda mediterranian/arab/dunno, reminds me of those chicks from Krewella, but she seemed actually hotter. She was with two friends, both hotties as well, so I just approached before leaving. She told me one of the girls was her girlfriend, I'm like oh sorry, I don't wanna be disrespectful, they were chill. The other remaining girl was smoking some "natural" cigarettes, she asked me if I had a vape, I was like, nope, but I know a guy that has one here (I already smoked a bit with some dudes there, trying to approach some other girl lol). I tried finding him, but he wasn't there, but I asked to smoked a bit with her and she gave it to me. I kept on talking gibberish with them and they were slowly opening up, the girl gave me the cigarette again, and I just naturally said "oh again?", as I noticed it seemed they wanted me to stay hehe. But we were leaving soon, so I excused myself shortly after, I hoped the next venue would be better for pickup (I already did another approach on a short bleached blonde cutie and she looked at me like I was a freak or something lol, maybe I was coming off a bit too strong).

Unfortunately the other venue was packed and we couldn't even get in (Ace gettin me on those trappy shituations), we went to this other club nearby, but it was empty. Luckly I didn't have to pay to enter because Ace goes there so much the owners let him get in for free by now lol, but yeah, we also left really shortly. Night ended on a random bar, playing snooker with some friends of Ace, and me leaving the new guy with them, feeling like I should have brought him along anyway lmao (it was cool to be a decent person and show him around, but honestly he didn't seem like most deserving/virtuous person to deserve that anyway, he made some weird comments about people).

Anyway I feel like I miss going out and talking to random girls, but this sort of "I've only got this night!" makes me go a bit too strong, trying to close too quickly, and not feeling out the girls as much. I think next time I go out I'll just mostly talk to girls in a chill way, and possibilities to make cool stuff happen should appear naturally. Also I need to be less patient with random people (and even my friends) taking my time and slowing me down. If my girl gives me some time to go out and game, I should focus on that.
But it's cool to see that after 6 months of going out, my skills are still there, overall, I can approach and make girls comply, I just gotta be a bit more chill and let that rust come off me a bit.

Until next time!

 

[Beck Bass]

TL;DR I asked my girl for some time off, actually I think we are kinda breaking up for real and I wanna go radio silent for quite a while, like @POB once suggested. I think it's for the best.

we plan to move in together next year (more like in 2, 3 months). I was panicking a bit because it's pretty much marriage

Sooo yeah, we were about to move out to a place we saw, decent space and location, but a bit old, my girl wasn't 100% happy with it. Everyone around me was like "oooh you gotta think this well, it's a big step", and then I reaaally started panicking a bit and questioning a lot of stuff. I asked my girl if she signed the contract yet, and she didn't, so she felt me second guessing and decided to cancel it. I got kinda mad because right after I told her it was fine, that we should just do it (she came over on Wednesday and we pretty much agreed face to face to go for it). We also had to pay this fine because we had a reservation, but they only sent us the final contract on Friday, and pressured my girl to sign right away, which made her panic even more, so I made them give us our money back with a threatening email lol

And then when I saw her email cancelling everything I can't even explain, but I felt like our whole relationship was just going down the sink, like she gave up because I was being a bit crazy, like I am, actually. Yeah, I'm supposed to be the man and the rock for her, but I can be quite impulsive at time, despite being mostly introverted, and she would always calm me down and help me be rational, but this time like she just went "fuck it". I know she did this because she wasn't 100% on board with the appartment we chose, but her expectations for our home are just nuts. Considering the money we have to pay rent, this was a great deal, for what it was.

Anyway I was pissed because I really wanna leave my appartment (more and more issues are popping up and it's just getting too expensive for what it is), and she's leaving hers where she's always lived with her mom, so it's natural it's gonna take some time for her to make up her mind, but she's been looking for almost 2 months and got nothing, because she's so picky. I started to feel like she's just too spoiled and never gonna be happy with any place we have.

Also there's the whole sex stuff. Like yeah it was getting better, but being with her since like March and I think I just expected more progress from her, like our sex drives are still so different and it's been fucking me up inside. It was also my birthday recently and she always made some sexual special surprise on previous years (mostly just she wearing some sexy lingerie with some heels, I'm a very basic dude, you know), but this year she did nothing like it, she didn't even got me a present. I know it's mostly because she's busy with work and getting all her stuff out of her old home to her mom's house (which still under some reforming), but still, like dude it's my birthday, you're my girl, like c'mon.

I remembered our trips to Rio and São Paulo and how happy I was with her but also how horny I was and we barely had sex, because sometimes she was just avoiding my touch, like dude sometimes I feel like she doesn't even think I'm attractive (which is crazy because I have like the biggest selfsteem, according to some chicks, but I guess is just that sex drive difference @Chase talked about in a very good article).

And the worst part is like she don't even think there's a problem, like to her it's totally cool that I feel like hollow, empty inside, because I barely have sex (with her), as long as she has a hot boyfriend to call hers. I know she's been going out of her way to at least try to me meet me half way, but to me it feels way too distant still. I've been asking for some time off, like kinda considering it and telling her I feel like it would be good, but then she just would come over and smooch me to death and win me over with her charm, so this time I texted her, and was able to say it for real when she came over.

I think it's like @POB says, if we really are meant to be together, we'll meet again, like heck last last year in Carnival we met randomly, after me having the time of my life being single, and we came back right away, because it just felt right. But I feel like we really gotta take a really good time off each other, I was telling her I still wanna approach and fuck other girls, and she was protesting it (ofc), maybe I'm just not cut out for a LTR (at least not now, and I already knew that, but dang I really love this bitch, as much as it doesn't really fucking work between us, I still wanna try, over and over, but it's been too much for me lately, I need some time off).

I'll try to go out tonight and see if I can approach some girls, it's tough because the weather has been a mess lately, but I gotta take my mind off her and everything else in my life right now (work and my appartment really been stressing me, you know, it's like I just wanted to have a girl that lifts me up with some nice sex, and yes our sex was great for me and unlike any other, but it was so rare to me that I felt like water in a desert or something lol).

Anyway peace, hopefully I'll get over this and she as well, and I'll be writing some lay reports soon, tchau!

 

[Beck Bass]

Went out to the usual club, lots of hotties, lots of AIs.
I talked to some regulars I saw before, there was a girl with her gay bro, I think I saw them before months ago, but she was kinda angling me to kiss her brother, I was like naaah ffs, pretty sure she was attracted though (even her brother said we should kiss, but I think she was afraid her brother might get sad or something).

I feel the hesitation all over me, I'm clearly rusty of not approaching for half a year. Then I see a girl with what looks like protective earplugs, I don't see pretty much anyone with those around, so I thought it would make a decent situational opener. But then I walk near her, and I lean closer and for some reason I just say "are you ok?", like wtf. But whatever, she reacts very poorly, like ooh bad approach, kinda weird, so I just leave, like what was I even thinking to say that? And on top of that, the girl didn't quite look she was having the best time there, so maybe this is why I asked that, to see if I can lift her spirits or something, but her reaction told me I should just leave.

Then like half an hour later, a woman that works there stops me and asks me to accompany her outside.
I'm like, oh shit, it's gotta be about that girl, the vibes on the club lately have been kinda weird and annoying and i'm like, they are gonna crucify me for approaching a girl.
And I'm kinda right.

She starts saying that the girl got "super unconfortable" with me going and "talking on her ear" (like how are you supposed to approach someone on the dancefloor and get them to listen to you), a "complete stranger" (yeah, I guess I'm not supposed to talk to strangers anymore! my bad). I tell her I'm very sorry and I didn't mean for her to feel this way, that I knew who the girl was and could feel she got unconfortable, but didn't do or say anything more because I thought it would only make things worse. She then says they want everyone to feel confortable and included on the club, yadayadayada, and then she just leaves and I'm like, ok, so can I go back in? I go inside but my vibe is so off and I'm thinking like what if someone even remotely doesn't like anything I do here anymore, will they just kick me out? Call the police? I don't fucking know.

To be fair, it was a bad approach, but the girl's reaction was, imao, nuclear. I think she was having a shit night already, then I do a terrible approach, and misery wants company, so she's like yeah let's fuck this guy!
But yeah, bad approach by me, poorly execution, and target selection was probably the worst, like maybe the girl was actually wearing hearing aids and I went and talked near her, then she's got some real reasons to be mad (I don't think it was, at all, though, she even had friends around and none reacted this poorly, but who knows what happened after I left).

This club is kinda gay and lately vibes are getting worse and worse, so I take it as a call out to search for new venues as well.

 

[Beck Bass]

my friend that's living on another city wanted to go out

So, he's back! Cool stuff!
We are going out Saturday, a bit of an excuse for me to game a bit, my girl is not his biggest fan (she told me he seems jealous of me, something blondie from Carnival told me before as well...), so yeah, hopefully we'll have a good time.

Relationship with my girl been going awesome, I was like I'm gonna take some time off, let her go, but dunno, I just love her so much, like I feel it's gonna be very hard to find a girl as compatible with me, personality-wise, as her (like smart, witty, introverted, but also a bit into dark humor and very chill). Sex still not quite where I want it, but I bought her some sexy costume lingerie stuff and she wore it for me, then I remembered why I'm still with this hoe... Holy shit.

That said she travels a lot for work and I'm a hornball, and she's a bit of a pampered preppy girl... She actually said before that she hopes I'll support her in the future, like she wants to quit her job, eventually, I was like, well, you know I'm a bit of a poor motherfuck, don't you? I might get rich in the future, but very likely I won't, so don't expect anything out of me than me, ok?

That type of stuff actually stresses me out a bit, like lately my boss and I been having some tension at work, he wants me to work harder, but I won't for the peanuts I'm paid, and I know they probably can't afford a whole bunch more. He borderline threatened firing me last week, saying my project was "ending", and if I didn't found the solution to some random ass problem that popped up there soon he would "let my contract end", with a fucking weird voice (like when you approach a hot girl and fuck up big time lmao). Now he still hasn't fired me, and looks like a bitch (I actually found the problem like 10 minutes after he said that, but didn't work anymore for like at least a day, pretending I was searching for an answer, if you wanna fire me, just fire already, dumbass).

I actually just saw two super hot girls today, and they seemed like gaaaame. My girl is coming back from her trip, so I'm fucking her tonight, but no idea what I'm doing tomorrow...

Thing is, we actually are moving out together soon... I'm still freaking out a bit, but I think it's the right thing, for now at least.
Everyone though was like "oooh this is like marriage", and it really is, so yeah I was freaking out as well, and still am a bit, no idea honestly. But I think we'll make it work somehow.