Thanks for the feedback guys!
Smith, yes, momentum operates on many levels... like how many approaches I did and how did I feel about them, in the last 10 minutes, the last hour, the last day, the last week... luckily if one has a bit of experience and an awareness of how momentum operates it is possible to encourage oneself and to force oneself to bang out a few practice approaches to get things moving again.
Bboy100, I am glad you liked my conversation samples, I haven't posted as many complete conversations lately because honestly I have the same conversations over and over again
This is process and demographics in action, haha
Although Chloe is actually Aussie thus outside my normal demographic and my game probably suffered a bit as a result. Also I still see her a lot but not at times I'm really in control of things... one thing I find annoying is when I lose control of the process, like bumping into girls I like socially or at the school and not being prepared with sparkling wit and conversation, I would often bump into Chloe at 7am in the coffee shop near the shopping centre, and about a third of the time I'd be in a flirtatious mood, other times I'd be tired and uninspired and make boring beta conversation. So I got friendzoned after a few episodes of this, ehh well I still like her, she's a nice girl and she usually greets me when she sees me at school. Things would have been different if I had MEMORIZED HER NUMBER, a valuable technique I've used a few times but lately haven't got off my ass to do.
Now to the point of my post, well as of yesterday I'm 40, an old fucker and I'd probably be quite depressed about this if I didn't have GC and realize that every wrinkle actually increases my value... hahaha, well anyway I have a beautiful sexy girlfriend whom I love, and I'm pretty happy with where my life is at right now.
So in the morning I was secretly having sex with Leticia under the covers while the kids were going in and out of the room and bringing me my breakfast in bed and their handmade cards etc, it was a wonderful morning. I couldn't quite get there but very very close. I wish I had more mental control, because as soon as I start feeling like I'm about to come I just overthink and mentally sabotage myself, the only way I have to get around this is to fixate powerfully on some part of her anatomy or an image/scenario in my mind. I would like to get better at experiencing without analyzing, i.e. Presence. Rereading "The Power of Now", although I must say that I like "A New Earth" (or "A New Ass" in Japanese, haha) is much better for me, I struggle to concentrate with TPoN due to its more scattered style.
Then I went to Yum Cha with Leticia and kids and my mum. My mum wanted to invite my sister and her son, but I said NO, and this is something I have gotten better at since learning seduction. I invited my sister to my party in the evening, and since she couldn't be bothered coming to that (doesn't like bars I suppose), I didn't see why I should make special arrangements for her. She needs to conform more. I'm also mindful of certain incidents in the past, like for instance the other day we had a playdate where I arranged for my nephew to attend, but strangely my sister did not even acknowledge me in the hour or two we spent together (I'm getting better at matching people's investment levels, I did try to catch her eye a few times to say hello, but otherwise I didn't sweat it). My sister is also a major freeloader, she's quite wealthy from performing, but acts like she cannot even afford a cup of coffee, so I didn't want to TREAT her to Yum Cha.
In the Yum Cha I chatted up the waitress, it was only really warmup, and I think she was being polite because I was a paying customer, but she did share some basic information about herself. The encounter started very well, when she approached our table for the first time I noticed she was cute and immediately gave her laser eye contact for longer than was comfortable, and started getting introduced, but I wasn't unfiltered enough (wanted to compliment her eye makeup and tell her she was beautiful in Chinese but I was a bit shy), so eventually I went a bit beta. It was also another case of my not being in control of the interaction, since she was quite busy and coming and going a lot with the trolley. Leticia was pretty tolerant of all this, she knows about my journey and doesn't disapprove, at least she doesn't disapprove of my conversation practice, haha. I did some other approaches throughout the day, complimenting gorgeous women and so on. Getting a number or a date in such circumstances (while out with Leticia and the kids) would be a tough gig, but I'm happy with reactions not results right now.
The rest of the day was a bit of a blur, as I made final arrangements for my party (prepare the door list, clean the house for the babysitter and so on), but a fun thing that happened was the kids cleared all the furniture out of the lounge, covered all the electronic gear with towels, and then staged a waterfight, awesome.
So now about the party, well it was absolutely awesome. I put a lot of effort into this party. Although this site is mainly about seduction, it's also about socializing and I want to share a bit of the background to this party. Well when I turned 30 it was a bit of a depressing day, I wasn't seeing anyone and hadn't in a long time, I was still smoking a fair bit of weed and spending a lot of time alone working on my projects at home (I had housemates on and off, but it never worked out well since I didn't have good boundaries, something I am better at now). On my 30th I hadn't made any preparations, so eventually I just decided to treat myself to a steak dinner and I went out to the restaurant alone and reflected on my life, I maybe chatted to the owner of the restaurant a bit, but basically I spent it alone.
Other times I made no real preparations for my birthday and then, like the day before, tried to arrange some birthday drinks, and ended up feeling like my friends did not really value me, since they were either busy or didn't want to go or something. But I recognize most of this was due to my poor preparations/short notice.
So moving to more recent experiences, well last year I had a party in which I put A LOT of effort (more so than this one). I had been reading the stickied post here about how to build an amazing party social life and I decided to give it a try. I did amazing decorations and I prepared for like 50+ guests, but where I fucked up was I didn't cold approach to build the guest list (approaching girls was somewhat in my comfort zone, but approaching groups and guys still isn't). So as the party approached I got a bit desperate and resorted to mass inviting people from my past who I hadn't kept in touch with, and overall the whole thing was a bit random. Attendance was so-so, some people from uni and some other close friends attended, and I had a good time, but it didn't justify all the preparations etc. What DID HAPPEN was that I learned A LOT about having a party, how to promote it to make your guests feel special, how to get people to come, etc. So the practice run was REALLY HELPFUL in making my birthday party a success, I no longer want to build a party social life, but I did want a GOOD BIRTHDAY.
Another VERY USEFUL experience in organizing this party was my wedding, going back about 8yrs now (2007). We had an okay venue, and we were quite well prepared. My ex-wife made the whole thing a pretty big deal, with a massive guest list and limousines and an expensive photographer and flowers and blah blah blah, the whole thing cost about $30,000 and I think I got somewhat suckered into it, since it would not have been my preference to do it this way, but I didn't question her decisions, and I put about 6 months work into the planning and preparations and became quite enthusiastic in the process... however, it was a complete waste of money, I wasn't careful about the guest list, it involved a lot of people from my past from social circles that I'd basically moved on from (although I didn't realize this at the time), and many of the people there, I haven't even seen since that day. Well, you live and you learn. Anyway, so we had a good venue but you had to use their caterers, and frankly they were shit. Also, my organization was shit, since I didn't think ahead about order and timing of service, speeches and so on. I learned a lot, and used this experience to work with the staff at yesterday's function to make sure they knew my expectations.
So in order to get people to come to this party, I firstly was careful not to mass invite, I was happy with a smaller party where I could actually socialize with everyone, and this is what occurred... having said that, I was also careful to invite enough people since I knew the response rate would be no better than 50%, it is Christmas and many people are away or busy, also it was also a weekday (Tuesday)... I texted "save the date" a few months back, and then I personally called everyone a few weeks before (many did not answer so I resorted to a personally written text message, not cut/pasted, in those cases), to tell them I was having a party for my 40th and it would be an intimate occasion and I would really appreciate their presence. Then I followed up with everyone telling them I was preparing the catering and that I needed a definite yes/no from each person, thus getting buy-in from them. Quite a few didn't respond at this stage, but after several attempts at follow-up, I ruthlessly culled them from the list. I invest in my friends, but I won't chase or let them take value. I also ruthlessly culled anyone who would not give a commitment. Then on the day, I texted everyone who I hadn't already talked to in the previous few days "don't forget the party tonight, I have put your name on the door as "John X + Jane Y". I also called various people who had complicated plans, to check if their name should be on the door.
The whole event ran like clockwork, I chose the venue very well and the staff were extremely kind and friendly and efficient, there were 4 staff (bar manager, owner/catering manager, and 2 bartender girls) and they offered the food around for me and so on. I had said no speeches because I was mindful of not interrupting the food service, however bar manager who is a fucking cool dude hassled one of my best friends to tell him I had to be forced to give a speech and I did so. Haha. The speech was roughly as follows: "Hey, I wasn't going to have speeches because I enjoy just socializing and I didn't want to interrupt your good time, but I am being forced to give one so here goes... well, in my 20s I got up to some very colourful things, with a lot of you guys and YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE... (lots of people put their hands up and start laughing)... and, more recently I have been part of a wonderful social circle at my uni [note: this is a group of 6-8ppl mostly from my office and some of their partners/housemates etc and we regularly organize social events], so I am incredibly happy that everyone can come and support me on my special day... and not to mention my family, well the last 3-4 years I went through a pretty hard time [I meant my divorce and legal battles] and my family got the arse end of that, it's amazing everything you've put up with and continued to support me... and finally there is LETICIA, well my life in the last year has been simply incredible because I met Leticia. I saw her, and I liked the look of her, and AMAZINGLY I had the balls to talk to her and invite her on a date, and I am SO HAPPY about this. Leticia is a wonderful person, for example I was listening to a conversation between Leticia and my grandmother the other day, and I was struck by how Leticia always seems to know exactly what to say in a situation. She's also very humble and respectful of her elders... including me [everyone laughs]. Just kidding, but Leticia has really impressed everyone around me. She has integrated very well into my life. [I hug her... I should mention she's looking absolutely stunning in a new black dress and heels with beautiful hair and makeup etc]. Um, now that I've talked about all the people who are important to me, I do not really know what to say. I really like my life right now. Thank you everyone for helping me to celebrate it. [I sit down]".
I am not too hungover considering everyone got smashed including myself. (Bar tab was not quite finished at the end, but I did not ask for a refund, so it's a nice tip for the owner and/or staff). Back at home I paid the babysitter and walked her out and kissed her on the cheek as I usually do (I was a bit shy to follow my normal practice when she arrived since I hadn't seen her for a year or so). I then tried to fuck Leticia in the 5min or so remaining before midnight, I had drunk dick but I didn't let it worry me, we had some fun. Leticia wanted to watch porn and be fucked with the vibrator, I have told her many times that I do not watch porn but I relented in this case. I started to put on some Asia porn but she searched "phim sex au my" which means "western sex film" [literally "film sex europe america"]. I told her I'm not really attracted to Western girls but I watched the film she selected for a bit, and fucked her a little and it was quite good. I drunkenly told her "I enjoyed chatting up some girls today on my birthday, you didn't make a big deal of it and I'm grateful for that"... a bit later "yeah as I said I'm not really attracted to Western girls, but I have been thinking when I reach the point I can get a new Asian girl every week then I plan to force myself to talk to some"... and "I suppose I still want to do some game occasionally, I am continuing my journey, but VERY SLOWLY, since I really value the time we spend together and I don't want to interrupt that"... she was, I suppose, a little put out by these confessions, but it wasn't too bad. I felt good at having been honest with her at any rate.
