A ray of light in the darkness

[ray_zorse]

Another slightly disappointing night out, after about 3 or 4 good grinds / interactions with cute JP girls (and some street approaching before), I found myself a wing, a JP guy called "Che" I think. He seemed to have pretty good game, I introduced him to 2 girls I approached a few minutes earlier and he immediately grabbed taller one and started getting to know her, moved her to bar etc. So my girl was small and cute as, spoke English too a bit. Awesome close dancing ensued and group fun. Having a wing is a rare treat. About 50min before close I started getting anxious to pull so I laid a little groundwork with Che, within 20min we will take them to an izakaya or hotel suite for more drinking and partying, however we either left it too late or he said something to fuck us up, cos 10min later at the bar my girl started to pull this "tired" bullshit, I just called bullshit and ignored, but vibe a bit spoilt after that, moved them and danced again but I noticed she wasn't investing, I had already seeded the pull and tried to activate, wash/rinse/repeat but no dice, so eventually I apologized to my wing and fucked off and grabbed some grinds off much hotter chicks, really yummy one was down but I broke circle, oops, wasn't a time to be grabbing preselection. Anyway felt my game was off so decuded to head home, had had sweet fun haha. Made one final lap and saw the girls without Che (such a shame, his girl was down, but he got cockblocked by grumpypants missed window one, I felt terrible, wasn't a good wing???). Said "sorry, I want to get on the last train" and kissed her cheek, though not warmly. She wasn't unhappy. Got LINE but I'm sure it's a flake, maybe Che does better by LINE?

 

[ray_zorse]

Current status is I've lost some momentum over the last 5 days hanging out with Sayuri and her family, overall it was pretty problem free, the family seem fine except to say they hang out together rather more than I'd consider normal, so I wonder if Sayuri and particularly her younger sister have really properly separated from their parents, it seems a loving family but if the parenting style is a bit smothering it might explain Sayuri's extremely submissive and often validation-seeking behaviour. I have set her some exercises to try to build her confidence (conversations w people she meets etc) but I doubt she'll do them wholeheartedly, if at all.

So in the various planes / airports and in my home city today I pussied out on a lot of approaches I should have done, rationalized it that I am in a relationship now... (although in fact I love Leticia and want her to move in with me, but unfortunately was too weak to be honest about this with Sayuri, it was hard b/c she was very upset that I didn't want to meet her family initially, I complied to her because I just didn't want to hurt her, I care about her a lot even if I am currently expressing it in a dishonest way)... anyway, I was playful with a group of 17yo homestay students and some store clerks and an air hostess, even if my heart wasn't really in it. Now been up 1.5days and feel exhausted.

I may do some more approaching when rested or I may not. Main thing is my new body and diet goals per Bboy100's article. Also have kids tomorrow and a hangout in 2 days with Leticia. I must get some condoms and lube, I lost mine at an onsen resort in Japan, a very bad move cos even though I researched it thoroughly and bought a brand called "Super Big Boy" with a picture of a horse on it, Japanese condoms are too small for foreigner dicks, I tried several times but couldn't get a Super Big Boy more than halfway down my dick, and even that with such pain and difficulty that I went soft between attempts, also broke one trying to unroll it. Consequently I've been having unprotected sex with Sayuri and I am concerned she could get pregnant as a result. I don't want to be tied down as a provider, oh no!!!

 

[snipefield]

When in the land of the rising sun, remember that Super big boys aren't big enough for foreigner ****s. Ha-ha, this cracked me up.

 

[ray_zorse]

Haha. Well, I'm back in business with my regular condom brand, the super big boys turn out to be useful for putting on my vibrator to keep it hygienic, haha.

Although, I'm now in a relationship with Leticia so I have stopped doing dates (except with Leticia obviously), I also stopped approaching direct and have mostly stopped with compliment-eject because I've been a bit of a pussy lately, although there's no reason to stop compliment-eject. I still open situationally a few times a day and have longer conversations where I deep dive, but I question how useful this is as practice, since when it's only friendly I'm pretty lazy about deflecting their questions with humour etc, so I'm giving too much information about myself and basically being friendly and unsexy. My plan was a really tight focus on fundamentals (body goals, etc) for the next few months so I could hit the streets again with even more confidence if things didn't work out with Leticia, but I've slipped backwards there too. On the other hand, work is going quite well and I really feel that I should be focusing hard on finishing my PhD in the next 6-9 months instead of going out all the time. Every date I don't do translates into more time I can be working on my experiments and my thesis, and I have been doing a lot more work in the evenings etc. Since this has been a constant thorn in my side ever since I started PU, I don't really feel too bad, but ohhh the pain of letting a hot girl get away... hesitated for far too long on the bus the other day and decided not to open, although I did have an interesting conversation with a 14yo (whose age I guessed at 16) just prior to that. Turns out she's a talented artist in a highly selective school, she is good at drawing the human form, so obviously I accused her of drawing lots of muscular young men, haha. But deep diving is really helpful for teasing out this kind of info.

I have a girl's number who I grabbed the other day, was only thinking of keeping it friendly and using her for Japanese practice and I have been texting her desultorily, but it feels wussy and no-plan-like. I wondering if I should disclose my relationship status. But then again, girls don't usually do that unless you ask, so I suppose it's okay... just that a one-on-one meeting feels way too date-like, I was gonna invite her to a picnic with my kids and my neighbour who's also JP, but that hasn't worked out either. Except for this girl whose number I only grabbed as a friendly gesture, all the other numbers in my phone I've decided not to contact until/if I'm single again, then just send a "hey there" text to check for interest.

Ray

 

[ray_zorse]

Fans... and air conditioners (lol) it's been a while. But it's been a really fabulous week, especially the last 24hrs. So I'm making a report.

Nightgame with Leticia

Well Leticia has been keen on the idea of clubs and bars lately, I have the feeling this might be due to her social circle... she was saying her best friend "changed" in the course of 1yr in Australia, was a conservative shy 20yo (a fair bit younger than Leticia, and Leticia initially took her under her wing), now smokes and drinks and has casual sex... all things that are STRICTLY FORBIDDEN to young women in Vietnam (it's a strange culture) but quite normal here. So I think Leticia now wants to catch up a little. Leticia has taken to having a premix vodka drink sometimes in the evening, which is funny because she has alcohol allergy and rapidly gets all over the place, I've had some interesting drunk sex with her, her inhibitions are a lot lower so she's sometimes extremely passionate, although sometimes passive and sleepy. It's all good.

Anyway so I told Leticia that we're going to try to get a crew together and have a party back at our house when the bars close, she said okay. So we went out for an early dinner, did shopping (lots of alcohol, mixers, food that's easy to prepare), got it all home and then cleaned for about 3hrs, there were lots of real trouble-spots in the house such as my desk, the broken curtains etc that had been neglected for a month or two, of course I tidy quite a few times in the week (especially after kids), and she does too, but the trouble-spots tend to get worse not better. So we really improved our environment, got the floors all mopped, I dealt with lots of junk and rationalized things etc.

We then had to drive to Leticia's house to get her passport, she'd brought her shoes etc but forgot passport. I had eaten her pussy as a pre-dinner snack and given her an orgasm but hadn't tried to put it in, was saving it for later. So I had her give me a handjob on the highway, and then we pulled over in an industrial area and fucked in the car. Although I had trouble staying hard enough, it was still really fun. I couldn't finish inside her after trying several different positions, so we started to get dressed, but she looked so sexy and dishevelled in the passenger seat that I got very hard and fucked her again. And eventually she just sat on top of me and finished me by off hand.

So we went out, I wore a silvery dark-grey pinstripe shirt which I like for nightgame, hadn't worn in some months, white pants, silvery light-grey blazer, black belt and boots. I felt my outfit needed some colour to lift it up so I spent a while looking for some accessories like a fun pair of green and purple sunglasses I have, but could not find them. Eventually I threw on a sparkly jewelled bracelet of Sayuri's, probably a bit metrosexual but better than nothing. Anyway, I want to change up my fashion a little, now the winter cold is lessening. Leticia wore tight black pants, black high heeled pumps, a black blouse and a bra with clear straps. She looked extremely ready to hit the town

I hit the approaching pretty hard, did the first approach within minutes of leaving the house, and by the time we got to the club I had approached 6 or 7 groups with conversations about their night and where they were going next (mostly they were going home, it was slightly after midnight). Overall, my game was a bit off, I suppose I wanted to tease them a bit about leaving early but it fell flat or something. But, I was approaching for the first time in a long time! Like exercising a muscle that has atrophied! The club was very packed on the 3rd floor, I did some more approaching at the bar, and had some good conversations, but nothing all that sexually charged.

Leticia wanted to sit down and chose a seat right at the end of the bar at the back, this was a bit pathetic, but she told me to go and talk to people, so that was okay. She minded my drink (non alcoholic) and I did a fair bit more approaching, but I just wasn't 100% feeling it, I wasn't committing to interactions and mostly didn't get past introductions before I felt uncomfortable and ejected. Reactions were basically good, but I found myself struggling to hear, and struggling to think of what to say. It sure is true that you need to keep momentum and stay in practice or you quickly get rusty (but obviously it will come back after a few good outings, Rome wasn't built in a day). I found myself having trouble maintaining eye contact, and breaking circle a lot due to nervousness... these are things that were improving a lot when I stopped last month.

I came back to check on Leticia and she was talking to a dude so I didn't interfere, did a little more approaching and got physical briefly with a few girls, although nothing you could call a grind, just opening by pulling them into me and laughing or spanking their bottom or something, but quickly getting uncomfortable and ejecting. I was swaying a little and touching asses with a girl in the drinks queue and Leticia saw this and teased me about it, but it's good that she's getting used to the idea of my doing approaching. (I told her that if we were successful in getting people back to the house, the next step was to try to arrange a threesome, and she seemed to accept this).

Umm so the music wasn't that great, so we went downstairs to sit somewhere quiet and this is where the evening started to go downhill a bit, I started to detect a mutiny in the ranks, as Leticia sat at a table next to me watching a video on her phone, saying she felt tired and wanted to go home. I found this quite pathetic because I wanted to interact with her and generate some excitement about our night. So I said "righto drink up" and put her in a taxi and took her to a posh club, I couldn't get in last time because I wasn't wearing a collared shirt... well yeah women were looking very sexy and I had some good conversations, but again the music was shit (rap night), damnit!

Okay so next club... I was really trying to find an environment that Leticia could get engaged with (and myself for that matter), so we went to a club that's always been good which is near the posh club, and it was another fucking rap night, I only did two approaches, one was to a sitting dude and we agreed that we wanted some proper club music instead of rap. By this stage I had run out of money, Leticia paid for us to get in and bought me a prosecco which was the first alcohol I drank that night. The other approach was to the bargirl who I told had a lovely smile, but she still wouldn't fill my prosecco to the top after I drank it while she was getting a new bottle... damnit!

Yeah, so I finally jacked it in and told Leticia we could go home, overall I'm considering the night a success because I put myself out there and TRIED to generate some leads. I probably did about 20~30 approaches all night. One thing I have to factor in here, is that I'd only had 2.5hrs sleep the night before, and I think this might be partly why my conversation did not really flow that well, although it's hard to be certain because I wasn't really feeling tired as such. But I think going out with a girlfriend makes things more difficult (like bringing food to a restaurant as one of the site authors put it in an article)... because worrying about 2 people, and not committing to interactions.

Sexual technique with Leticia

After getting home another really good thing happened, we had another drink and a snack and made out on the couch a bit and then went upstairs to fuck, the good thing was that I FINALLY had some success with adapted missionary -- I had reread the article very carefully, because I REALLY WANT to be able to give Leticia vaginal orgasms with my dick instead of clitoral orgasms with my tongue. On a first reading it appeared I was already doing adapted missionary, but it just hasn't been working for me. So I really thought about it, and read and re-read the article, and eventually I figured out that I'm not doing the full body contact, I'm not grinding on her clit and I'm changing my rhythm too often. Another thing I've also figured out for myself is that I'm not maintaining eye contact during sex, this is quite a difficult issue which I'll explain.

Thing is that I've historically had a lot of erection problems and problems staying hard during sex, lately I've been tackling this with affirmations and visualizations but I feel like it's often slipping back to fantasies, which I'm not so happy about -- I can stay hard with fantasies, and this might be a good approach if I'm fucking someone whom I'm not that attracted to, but in the case of Leticia it's just stopping me from being in the moment and experiencing the sex fully. In a way I want to have sex more mindfully -- like focusing completely on the sensations, but without analyzing, and without being a prisoner of my thought stream. This is extremely difficult for me. It does happen sometimes by accident, like if I receive an incredibly good blowjob it can sometimes short circuit the over analysis and get me back in the moment, otherwise it's random.

My latest thinking on this issue comes from a recent site article about going out when you're not in the mood -- he says "just accept that you're not in the mood and that you'll do your best anyway... you can use affirmations and visualizations, but I feel that that's just concentrating on the issue and giving it power, rather than just accepting it and pushing it to the back of your mind where you're aware of it but it doesn't have much power". I agree, so I'm trying not to use affirmations and visualizations during sex, I think that's probably a good thing to do when NOT having sex though, to reprogram my subconscious for the times when I AM. So now back to last night's sex with Leticia, well I tried adapted missionary with full body contact, clit grinding, better rhythm and eye contact, WORLDS DIFFERENT, she was like millimetres from vaginal orgasm. We didn't quite get there, and eventually I got tired and fell back to my regular sexual technique (which I think isn't as good) and went soft/hard a lot, BUT IT WAS AWESOME THAT WE NEARLY GOT THERE. Definitely we will be practicing adapted missionary a lot until I can get her to orgasm in 5~10 minutes as Chase describes.

Anyway the rhythm is SO IMPORTANT, I feel like the rhythm is the key to my success with eating her out (I can get any girl to orgasm reliably within about 20 minutes, usually a lot less, because I never break rhythm and I never give up, I just commit to that clit, and I also have plenty of other techniques to change it up, and plenty of ways to subtly shift my position or technique to prevent getting tired or anything getting too painful) -- I learned to give head through a site article and I didn't have too many bad habits to unlearn so it went very successfully. But learning to have vaginal sex through the site article is harder, anyway just adding the rhythm to my normal technique IS HELPING A LOT. I just hadn't been aware of the importance of NEVER BREAKING RHYTHM, the moment you break it, ALL YOUR PREVIOUS WORK IS WASTED!!!!

Progress in my studies at last

Okay so for the final part of this report, I'm going to discuss the other FANTASTIC thing happening in my life right now, which is about my PhD thesis. I can really see the end now, because I finished writing an important research paper THAT TOOK 4 YEARS TO DO, this is my Chapter 3... supervisor was teasing me about it in Thursday's meeting, hadn't realized, but he's right, it took 4 years (interleaved with other work, but still)... it feels like a bugbear is off my back now. I had the same feeling a year ago when I finished chapter 2 after several years' work on and off. I think the next few chapters will be pretty easy. Anyway, I am so pumped about work now, that I worked all night 2 nights this week. Sat down in the afternoon to write a section and didn't want to stop, only stopped for food and coffee, and like 16hrs later I'd written half a chapter.

I also think that I'm finally doing things right, which will make it MUCH easier to do the next 2 chapters to my satisfaction... around the start of the year I just felt so sick and discouraged with everything, that I dumped all my bullshit broken tools (pieces of software written by my supervisors or other colleagues, that are inelegant, needlessly complex, and filled with bugs that take weeks or months to track down), and decided to create my own, supervisor wouldn't let me do this earlier, and was probably right, BUT I GAINED SO MUCH EXPERIENCE HACKING ON THIS OTHER BROKEN SOFTWARE THAT AFTER 5 YEARS I KNEW HOW TO WRITE MY OWN ONE WHICH IS ABSOLUTELY PERFECT. I relied on a trick to get my supervisor to agree, I told him I was having trouble making a certain comparison because too many uncontrolled factors and would need to write a small piece of software to fix it, and he agreed, I didn't tell him this "small piece of software" would actually replace everything we have until after I finished it, hahaha... but when I presented the first results it COMPLETELY VALIDATED my decision, was very noisy and unclear before, now 100% CLEAR.

Also there is my experimental framework, software that I wrote which submits experiments to a supercomputer and then retrieves the results, does statistical analysis and then tabulates the results into a publishable form automatically... I rewrite it every few years, as the experiments change very quickly, so the software quickly degenerates into a patchwork quilt of undesirable modifications... latest version IS ABSOLUTELY PERFECT, it will need further change as things evolve, but it is so modularized that this doesn't impact anything else. For instance supervisor wanted me to add some extra experiments which are running now, and it took only about 15 minutes to modify the data collection system to suit the new experiments (it was 3pm, I had to be home for Leticia by 3.30pm and I did this job, left at 3.15pm and was home in time haha).

Other random matters

I need to get my diet, gym, and household budget back on track. I also need to earn some $$, as I haven't been budgeting and my scholarship finished ages ago, so it's easy to lose control of my finances. I'm some months behind on payments for my apartment, and I have only about $50 in the bank after this weekend. Fuck. But luckily I have some work lined up from next week. I need to have a discussion with Leticia about open relationship and get back to approaching (but I think this would be more powerful after we did a cold-approach threesome together, so that's my current project seduction-wise). Uhh I need to buy some new fashion. I need to finish my thesis. But overall I'm super happy with where my life is at right now. I think the main determining factor of life success is my emotional state, and it's been quite stable for a while.

 

[Edd--19]

Hey Ray,

Cool FR, it seems the metal work is a little rusty, but you hit it anyway and got some pretty good approaches out of it! Nice one.

If you're doing adapted missionary I have a couple suggestions that I've come across either by doing it or from other teachers:
1- Go at a rhythm that her body enjoys. Think of it like this, ever had a girl give you a handjob so fast it felt like your dick was about to be jacked off... It's not great. Women have rhythms that they enjoy and what will give it away is how they react to it. They'll go from enjoying and moaning a little, to moaning louder and eventually hips rocking with you. It'll take a while to learn but it helps with it, until eventually you can fuck her at any rhythm you want and she'll come (Source me and my ex and sex teachers).

2- If she's more a a g-spot girl there is a little variation of this technique... but it's probably best to get her coming adapted missionary before trying this. What you do is go adapted missionary. Then you raise your body a little bit so you should be parallel above her, with at least you upper torso not touching. This gives better access to hitting the g-spot. You should always try and stay parallel to her. Otherwise you won't hit the spot she's craving. Also try raising more of your body and listen and feel how she responds, if she doesn't enjoy it within 5 seconds, you aren't doing it right and try another variation. I think I'll call this the raised missionary.

Another thing to try, and I'm sure you have, is to tease the hell out of her and use a lot of foreplay. Tease her pussy but never touch her clit until she becomes so wet that she's begging for you. You'll know cause her pussy will engorge with blood and open itself to you; it's very hot when it happens. When teasing stay in control, pin her down, call her your slut etc...

I hope any of this helps, as for your erections, I can't help there. Sorry man.

Best of luck, Edd

 

[ray_zorse]

Thanks Edd Yeah it's okay I've got shit under control, I know that I only get out what I put in, so if I want to fix things I have to do more affirmations, visualizations etc in my downtime, if I just watch TV or whatever then I only have myself to blame. Having said that, my life is pretty acceptable in many ways ATM so I don't really have to push hard.

Today I did an approach... yeah, big woop you say... hahaha well I'm always feeling like a pussy lately and I know I could set myself some approaching goals (I could join in the snatch tourney for instance, even though I'm not really down for dates, I could still try to get my approach numbers up)... but I don't see the point, since it's easier to stay in my comfort zone and play with my phone on public transport or whatever... if I was single and on the prowl for sex, that would be a completely different matter.

Anyway, so I was walking up the street with a buddy towards a coffee shop and I saw a plump woman of around 25~30 wearing a tight purple suit (skirt and jacket) and she looked GOOD... she had a very eye catching silver necklace on and I couldn't take my eyes off her. Unfortunately, I didn't stop her. I would have but she veered off and hailed a taxi. Anyway, so I was drinking coffee with my friend and being social when I met eyes with a super cutie through the coffee shop window, she was walking past and I thought "damn, another eye contact error... why am I scanning"... well interestingly she came back and came into the shop and bought a drink, so while she was looking in the fridge I gathered up my balls and said "hi .... (no response) .... excuse me! did you walk past the front of the shop just now?" "yes!" "I saw you walking there, I noticed how tall and gorgeous you are, and how fashionably dressed, I wanted to compliment you" "thank you!" .... big smiles, I proceeded to ask her about her day, she was job-hunting having just moved from another city (big escalation window right there) .... I told her she got the job, and if she didn't I would give her a job (sexy smile) .... started a group chat with my friend asking some questions too. I didn't ask for the date, but I closed things out by telling her to "come here" .... gave her a kiss on the cheek, she seemed down for more so I said "give me a hug" and gave her a nice warm hug as well before sending her on her way. I feel really good about this approach.

 

[ray_zorse]

Well I think I am going to start journalling again...

Life has had a lot of challenges lately. I have been hitting the study very hard and made lots of good progress, part of my rationale for being in relationship is I would have a nice stable home environment in order to enable me to focus on study and this has certainly worked, even though my relationship has also taken a lot of time away from study (I could basically only study between Monday and Thursday unless there was urgent work to do). At the same time I have had periods of what could be described as depression where I stay at home for long periods trying to work and not really focusing (usually because I'm either stuck or very unmotivated about the particular thing I'm doing). I have been treating this as caused by external factors in my work, however my sister thinks it might be due to bipolar. Hmm well she would know as she's bipolar type 2 apparently.

Ehh well things have been ticking over quite nicely relationship wise, Leticia has been the absolute perfect girlfriend in so many ways, always helpful and supportive, never dramatic, quite thoughtful, a bit reserved at times but this can only be described as a good thing. A bit of a challenge in bed but always rewarding, she was a complete pornstar for a number of months and got very good at various things such as giving head, I think she raised the bar yet again and I've had some really great blowjobs in my time so I think that's quite an achievement considering she had never done it when we got together.

Leticia also would do things like grocery shopping for us, or buying me clothes or jewellery, this was in no way one-sided since I would also take care of various things such as our laundry (I was washing my clothes and 3 kids' so it was no trouble to keep her work shirts laundered and her other clothes such as bras, pants, tops etc that she would leave at my place during the week), I would also cook and make lunches for my kids and for her every Monday etc. So we had a nice easy relationship with lots of give and take. Sad to say, I got bored with it and told her I didn't want to commit, so she's left now. Hmm it's tricky.

My relationship with Sayuri has also been in a pretty good place, she's kind of passive and a bit demanding and needy but I regard her as somewhat like a plant, it's very rewarding to see her grow and bloom if properly fed and watered, but one cannot have too high expectations of her. I have made it my business to call her at least once a week for the last few months and more recently several times a week, and I'll chat with her over text sporadically, sometimes we have a long conversation throughout the evening if I'm at home doing some work or something, but usually the long chats are for the phone calls which tend to last between 10 and 30 minutes. She has been avoiding Skype which I am a bit disappointed about, I think it's to do with her living situation as she does not have that much privacy, we used to have regular Skype sex but not recently.

However, I am getting a bit jacked off with Sayuri's failure to invest and what I regard as game playing (waiting for me to initiate and invest, even though I KNOW she is thinking about me every day and I her, so why doesn't she say so?)... when we do have heart to heart talks she can be quite vulnerable, I asked her why she doesn't call me when she misses me and she replied "I MISS YOU ALL THE TIME" in capital letters... but I feel like the protective shell slips back after a few days and she isn't willing to be her unfiltered self. It's basically about lack of self esteem I think, she needs a lot of validation from the relationship and particularly she needs me to be the driving force more than I'd like, so that she feels important. Ahh damnit.

So anyway now that Leticia is gone, I'm supposedly in exclusive long distance relationship with Sayuri and I am trying to steel myself to tell her that it's not working for me and I need my freedom back. Somehow I just haven't been able to take this step, I don't know if it's clinginess / codependence on my part or if I'm caretaking her feelings or if I'm just being past-oriented (we've had some really great times together including amazing and interesting sex sessions where we did role plays in costume, ate food off each other's bodies, did enema and ass play, bondage, etc... not all at the same time obviously, haha)... really unsure?

Well, I think I have to do something about this in coming days, but in better news I have re-established contact with my former trainer (he texts me now and then to ask how my training is going) and ended up meeting him for another session this morning, even though I quit his training to do it myself... but I basically haven't pushed myself, well today he pushed me hard and because it was the first time in a while I got incredible headrush from the exercise, I felt very dizzy and sick and started to have a panic attack, but it's okay because I trust him, so I just told him I needed to take a break and all was fine. Overall I'm happy. I'm sitting in the car making sure I'm completely okay before driving home (typing on a USB keyboard on my phone).

So I'll continue with the gym after the coming school holidays. I have quit Japanese though (except for 2 more classes which I have rescheduled due to school holidays), because it is too expensive in money and time, and I am having severe money problems lately. On the plus side about the money I did a real clean sweep of EVERY possible source of income, such as accounts I have that I haven't been able to access, medical insurance refunds that I hadn't put through yet, items that I had to take back to stores and hadn't go around to, stuff I could sell, currency I could exchange etc, and amassed quite a pile of cash to see me through the next month. I immediately wanted to buy a ticket to Japan but stopped myself. I need this buffer zone.

Ahh now as to my approaching (hmm is this a seduction blog or a LIFE blog? haha)... I have done a bit here and there, but have lacked commitment. I did some compliment-eject around the place after my breakup with Leticia and felt slightly better, I suppose I am averaging about 3 or 4 approaches per week at the moment, which is a bit pathetic but not too bad considering I rarely go to university and my main outings are with kids. I really need to get out of the house more, I am even considering (when I sort out Sayuri situation) going out specifically to approach (GASP), I have been avoiding this because I really hate the feeling of getting stuck in my head wandering the city streets trying to approach and experiencing AA, whereas when I work it into my routine I don't feel nearly such pressure. The latter approach worked before, but I think I need to restart with a bang.

Well, I worked until 4am trying to get a paper ready for supervisor's approval to send to a journal, then got up at 7am for the gym (wishing I hadn't made this appointment on this particular day) so I feel pretty weird but I will go home, have a short sleep and something to eat, and then go in to university to meet with supervisor, then go pick up kids from school, they finish early as it's last day of term. They will stay with me for 8 days or so. Hopefully this will lift my mood. I also really want to try to be a better dad because I have been a bit moody and withdrawn with the kids lately, the last few weeks I have been making more of an effort to limit their TV consumption and organize fun activities (other than the normal boring activities that are in our comfort zone such as zoo, chocolate shop, museum, aquarium etc)... we did some papier mache and some board games and I felt like not such a bad parent. Anyway, one of my closest friends IRL is a schoolteacher (my former neighbour, who has some life problems, is separated and needs to be dating), this dude is refreshingly direct even though he can be a bit TOO direct and occasionally a bit negative, I really like this guy and have been hanging out with him a fair bit, he is quite critical of my parenting style but has some constructive suggestions, and because I really respect him I've avoided being defensive.

So that's where things are at right now. I think I will ponder the Sayuri issue and aim to get approaching again after holidays. Any feedback or advice from my homies would be really appreciated, as I said I've had a bit of low mood lately, but it's all OK.

 

[Sophisticated Gent]

Ray,

Regarding your sisters statement about bipolar it is easy to misdiagnose someone based one your personal health. I am sure she cares about you and is concerned. I would suggest getting professional diagnoses if your mood continues to be low. It is not worth not being able to live life feeling good.

BDSC

 

[Teparus]

Thing is that I've historically had a lot of erection problems and problems staying hard during sex

Regarding this (and I really hate to fixate on it), I've dealt with that shit before a couple of times in my life -- sometimes it was really bad. It often started with porn and then tapered off. Basically, I found that if I just didn't have any sexual release for a long ass time -- like, 30+ days -- then when I went back to having sex with women, my problems would be gone until I started masturbating or watching porn again. It's a bit of an investment (and it'll piss off your girlfriend, haha), but it's well worth it.

Nowadays I can occasionally get into having that problem, but abstaining from all orgasm for 4-5 days and then ONLY orgasming with women fixes it for months at a time.

My theory is that if our brain detects a "dry spell" it loses lots of cues it has for sexual arousal and release and primes itself to relearn what cues it should use.

 

[ray_zorse]

YES! I fuckin cold approached and hooked, with my normal conversation process plus some teasing banter. I haven't had momentum lately so took special care w my appearance, looking fuckin sharp and feeling quite the man. Unfortunately kids went on ahead so I had to eject after a minute or so with no number but she invested with touch haha. RAY is BAAACK!

 

[snipefield]

Sounds great, mate! Glad to hear.

Can you write details of how she initiated touch....... this has never happened to me on approach, so I'm curious to know.

 

[ray_zorse]

Definitely upping my approaching and getting back in the game. Just had a blowout from a cute and fashionable Chinese chick waiting at lights with her friend outside uni. I think my approach was reasonably okay and I got thrown under a bus (or tram as the case may be) due to friend, but possibly I look a bit fat in today's outfit. Can't swear to it but I think I saw her infinitesimally look me up and down. Whatevs, I did it, though there were many approaches today I should have done where I just made creepy eye contact instead, a bad habit that got a lot worse while I was not actively approaching these last months. Snipe thanks for the props will write later from my PC. Off to gym now. Let myself be too much of a slob lately. Diet is a perpetual issue, so damn frustrating. Will reset goals. Sigh.
Ray
Edit: Have asked my trainer for referral to dietician. Need someone to weigh me regularly, set down my diet plan each week and hold me accountable. Trainer will also write down the exact exercises I have to do in my sessions without him, b/c I will only see him Fridays. Anyway need the pro help here.

 

[ray_zorse]

Ahh so. My head is a bit like a tumble dryer at the moment. Such a big range of emotions all mixed up. It's all good though, I just need to sort things out a little, I will try to explain. But first a quick FR.

Informational date with 29yo Vietnamese beauty

Tonight I had my first date in a long time. I met her a number of weeks ago in the shop where she worked and she seemed extremely keen. We exchanged some text and my texting game was very very on point, however I dropped the ball a bit after a week or two and had to recover. I got things back to a reasonable point with a couple more texts, and then forced myself to stop texting and leave her hanging till today, when I just cold texted her "hey how about that coffee. i'm pretty free the next few days. tonight works". She enthusiastically responded within minutes and made some time with me in her schedule to meet an hour later. But it was only informational date, which was a little disappointing. I think I did okay. Just acted like a regular guy, threw in a few very casual sexual frames but I don't think she got my meaning. Anyway, she was a little late for the date and I said something like "when you said you were going home first, I knew you'd be looking amazing, and you ARE", later on I grabbed some compliance by examining her nails, and I also guessed her age as 24 (she's 29) and I joked that she has the skin of a 19yo. So I hope this counts as expressing attraction, because otherwise I may have dropped the ball a bit. As she left, we were discussing about her texting me in Vietnamese, and whether I'd understand. So I presume that we're still communicating. I don't know if this will be on a friendzoned basis or not, but overall I think we connected pretty well, I didn't dive TOO deep but collected a LOT of info. She was happily sharing, I had a feeling this would be the case because of her texting style, so my goal was basically just prompt her a little and let her talk and this worked okay.

Approaching and asking for dates

Throughout the day I did about another 10 approaches, only a 3 or 4 conversations of note and they were just friendly/boring, however with 2 Chinese tourists who are students in Sydney visiting Melbourne for 3 days, I got as far as inviting them to hangout, they refused and returned to their conversation, but it was still a big milestone for me. I had a lot of conversations lately where I could have asked for a number or something, but this part of my process is disused and rusty so I need to get it back. I remember it being a massive sticking point for me at one stage and I really appreciated Chase's newsletter email about MAKING AN OPPORTUNITY to ask them out. Basically, just do it, the sky won't fall in. I eventually overcame this sticking point, but one thing about sticking points is if you found it difficult earlier then you'll probably also find it difficult when you're out of practice, so you really need to tackle them head on. I'm going out approaching tomorrow and I think I will make it a goal to ask a certain number of girls out (rather than just to approach a certain number of girls). I KNOW I can do it, I just need to stick in interactions. Having said all that though, given I have a girlfriend who really loves me and we're having sex like 3x a day, 3 days a week, my standards are quite high at the moment, and in most of my conversations I consciously decided I wouldn't invite them out because I wasn't attracted enough. This is a bit of a turnaround, because normally I'd consider myself a pussy not going for it, but things change.

My current relationships -- Leticia

Ahh so now the tricky bit, well cutting a long story short I handled the breakup with Leticia without losing my frame, and she's now back and hornier than ever, if that is at all possible. Ehh well it puts me in a bit of a dilemma because on the one hand, anything involving physical escalation on her part is to be rewarded, that's just basic Girlschase philosophy... if you reward it she'll keep doing it even more, and if she's constantly initiating sex then that's less work for the seducer right? On the other hand, I don't feel completely in control, also I feel a bit drained from the constant sex, and contrary to my normal practice I haven't been able to think of enough ways to make it interesting and different. I basically feel like I, as the leader and commander of the relationship, should be deciding when we have sex, not her. A third factor to consider is that we hang out 3 days a week, and except when my children are present, the time is basically dedicated to her, I don't attempt to do work or anything like that (other than the normal housework etc), I just treat it as a date/hangout. If I have important deadlines I tell her and attend to them, but that doesn't usually happen. So given the time is dedicated to her, if she wants to have sex I'm fine with that. The only thing is I just need to feel horny. Anyway, to manage the situation, I have taken the view that she can play with my cock anytime, and although I won't feel bad if it doesn't come up, I'll just keep an open mind and if she can get me in the mood, then sure I'll fuck her. I just find it to take quite a toll on my mental/emotional energy since my mind naturally wants to slip back to bad thoughts and I have to employ a lot of devices to stay hard during sex. On the other hand, I am getting rather good at things like doing a soft entry and getting hard inside her, or recovering if I go soft during sex. It's all good really.

There are also quite a few other relationship management issues other than the sex, well a lot of things happened where we ended up having quite deep discussions about stuff... e.g. my parenting decisions... and I'm concerned I might be giving her too much information and thereby losing my dominant frame. Hmm well she has also figured out a lot of stuff which I haven't told her (stuff that concerns me, issues I have to manage, etc)... and I'm worried about that too. She is unbelievably intuitive. She has also been lovebombing me like crazy, she appears to be very deeply in love, and although I am certain it is 100% genuine, I also think that (consciously or not) there is an immigration issue too. I'll discuss this in more detail later. Honestly I am in love with her too, although I have to keep correcting myself in my inner thoughts, that I'm in SCARCITY with her, not love. I don't regularly say something like "I love you", but it slips out sometimes when we're spooning and drifting in/out of sleep after a long lovemaking session. Having said all that, some of the ways she expresses her love are pretty amazing. 2 nights ago she decided to cover me in honey and blow me (I also concealed a piece of chocolate for her under my foreskin) and she did it with SO MUCH LOVE that I was basically crying with emotion. My only concern was not leading or being dominant enough, I was pretty passive that night and did not fuck her, I felt no need to reciprocate because I knew she just wanted to give, give, give. She also said something like "don't overthink -- just feel" and I obeyed and felt quite relaxed during sex for the first time in a while. I don't know how she knew this was an issue for me.

Bondage session and ass play -- Leticia

Anyway I went through a pretty beta period this last week in which I lost my dominant frame in a number of other ways, letting her lead when she really shouldn't be, also being a bit romantic / needy or doing too many things for her... so I decided last night that enough was enough, and after various bad behaviour on her part (taking my necklace and not giving it back, making trouble about the vibrator and intentionally leaving the new batteries I had bought, in the car, etc)... I put my foot down. Told her she would have to go and get the batteries from the car, or she would be punished. She elected to be punished. So I tied her up and ordered her onto her knees, she refused, so I escalated the punishment to a whipping with my belt. She still refused to call me "Master" or to go on her knees, so I further escalated the punishment to her coming upstairs and receiving an enema, which she had to hold for 20 minutes (this was my plan all along). I have never played these games with her before so it was a high risk / high reward move. She complied to the enema, surprisingly enough, although she was yelling "I hate you" and "Bullshit master!" the whole time. I ordered her to apologize about the batteries, and she just stood there yelling "NO! N.O.! Bullshit Ray! I hate you!" and hitting me. I took my dick out and masturbated a little and ordered her on her knees again, she yelled "Bullshit dick! I hate it!", etc, so I told her each time she abused me or hit me she would receive an extra minute of punishment, and she got up to 28 minutes. Her pussy was as wet as hell, although she didn't want me to know this. She really needed the toilet, and after 20 minutes (the original punishment time) she said "sorry" in a very small voice, so I left the room and allowed her to go to the toilet. I considered this a successful outcome to the bondage session.

I rejoined her a little later downstairs, she was lying on the couch with a doona over her head. I took the doona off and ordered her to get the batteries again, and she refused. So I took her over my knees, put her panties down and whipped each cheek for quite a while with my belt (a lighter, thinner one, which I got out while she was in the toilet). When both cheeks were a bit pink all over, I put her knees down on the ground on a pillow, and lubed up my cock, I had to masturbate a little thinking how great it would feel to fuck her up the arse. She seemed to be complying to all this, so I started to put my cock in, but I think I probably didn't prepare her well enough (I'd used a lubed, gloved finger earlier in the session before administering the enema and this went okay, but probably I should've started gradually again from scratch here). Before I could get inside she collapsed on the couch, hiding her face and really crying her heart out, and I was pretty concerned I had gone too far (she has religious views and initially wouldn't even have oral sex because she thought it was a sin, so degrading her anally would have a huge impact obviously). So I just said gently, "good girl, that's enough for today" and sat beside her for some time, soothingly rubbing her knee and so on. She pushed me away a few times. So I went to the car and got the batteries, figuring a nice orgasm from the vibrator would set her straight. I changed the batteries and went to put it on her pussy, she popped her head out and said angrily "why always sex!... all we do is have sex" and I could not help but laugh at this, considering what a sex maniac she is. I laughed pretty heartily and gave her a bit more time, in which I put on a sexy movie that she's been wanting to see again. She started to watch the film (although she didn't want me to notice), she also got up and I asked her to mix me a drink, to which she complied. She came and snuggled on the couch with her head in my lap, and I felt the disaster was averted. Later we had amazing sex.

My current relationships -- Sayuri

She eventually broke the tension by contacting me after a week, so I rewarded her with a brief phone call. Nothing since then. But I'm gonna call her maybe tonight. Because I feel like I should initiate 50%... if she initiates I'll reward her by initiating next time. (The phone call doesn't count because it was in response to her initiating twice by text). Ahh I dunno why I even bother, but anyway, I want my rotation to be as big as possible, because I don't want to get needy and dependent on Leticia.

Edit: Nother thing I have not mentioned. Leticia went out and got a tattoo in the brief period we weren't together (though she had been planning it for a while). It's pretty sexy, I love it and I am jealous. I had also been planning some body modification to take place after reaching my fitness goals. I want one like these. I am thinking I now want to go ahead in the next month. I hope I am not being reactive here. On a related note I have been receiving some pretty bad reactions lately, just weird kinds of blowouts that I have not experienced before, and today I think I figured out what it is. I got a notch shaved out of my hair in an attempt at a hipsterish look, and I think it is just TOO badass. I love it but it appears to be scaring girls off, especially with my "attainable" clothing style I just look like a biker. I will have to reassess my fashion a bit.

 

[ray_zorse]

Hey, today was a really funny day. Bit of a slow start as I had to do some work for a university social club that I'm on the committee of, it turned out to be a real pain in the arse and by the time I got it done it was already about 3.30pm. Couldn't concentrate so I browsed the web a bit, I had to meet jdoc from these boards (shout out to jdoc ) after close of business, so I decided to head into town and do some approaches to get in the mood. I had taken great care of my appearance (ironed a shirt in the morning and taken it to uni, planned out my outfit so I wouldn't look too threatening with current hairstyle, and collected a lot of compliments through the day).

Initial results a bit mixed.

Approached on the tram and had an okay conversation, asked her for compliance (walk to Myer with me), was dealing with her excuses when she suddenly got to her stop and bailed. She wasn't attractive enough to ask for a number (a theme that recurred a lot throughout the day) but she seemed nice. Stupidly I stayed on the tram when I should have got off, so I could've just grabbed her hand and said "this is your stop" (had checked logistics) and led her off the tram, but I didn't think of it. A bit rusty.

Went to buy some nailpolish, there were quite a few approaches I should've done but I wasn't in the mood, in my head a bit. But I was happy just to follow a plan of doing some errands and approaching incidentally if I felt like it. Chatted to shop assistant but no attraction. I did approach a cute Japanese looking woman in the department store but only got as far as hello, she didn't acknowledge me and I didn't push it (another theme that recurred a lot throughout the day -- I was a bit rusty in that department too).

So I went to Starbucks to put my nailpolish on, umm said hello to a girl in the line, got ignored, but gathered up some balls while we were waiting for the drinks and approached her properly, she was quite pleasant and I had a quick conversation. My drink came quickly so I just said "I'm going upstairs, join me", knowing she wouldn't, (was waiting for a friend), but it's still fun asking for compliance. In about 50% of my interactions today I asked for compliance, I did a lot of compliance openers as well. Got a few smiles from a girl sitting opposite me as I put my nailpolish on, with a little banter and a few questions, but she didn't really respond, was glued to her phone.

So I decided I was going to leave but before I did I pushed myself a bit. I saw a real little cutie sitting down the other end working on a laptop, so I gathered up my balls and went over, sat down at her table and she flat out ignored me, it was a bit off putting. Anyway, she was busy. So I sat there for a while wondering what to do and eventually opened her properly by saying "I decided to award you a study break". Actually, she responded pleasantly enough, but I couldn't hear her well, so I bailed.

It occurred to me at this point that I was approaching because I wanted to warm up and get in the mood (I wasn't really in the mood, but the appointment with jdoc couldn't be postponed, so it was good to have a little pressure), I wasn't really doing it out of genuine desire to make her smile. So decided to backoff a little and just go for a walk to a shop I knew where a friend might be working. On the way I opened a Thai girl in a group and had a nice conversation, invited her to clubbing with us later but nogo.

I saw a mega hotty with 2 friends come out of a university building and stopped her and opened her "I saw you come out of the building and ..." but she'd already lost interest. I realized I just wasn't being dynamic enough, I could have been all excited "hey there! YOU LOOK GREAT! is this how you go to uni everyday?!" My next approach was a girl crossing the road, I saw her get out a pack of mints the same as one I had in my pocket. So I pulled mine out and asked her to open it for me, telling her I'd just done my nails and didn't want to ruin them. She complied, I then tried to talk to her a little, but nogo really, I invited her to walk with me back to the shopping centre where I was meeting jdoc but she hadn't hooked and she declined. So walked back there myself, a few approaches I should've done but was still in my head a bit.

At the meeting spot, which is a popular meeting spot, I wanted to follow my usual process of opening lots of cute girls with "so, you're waiting for someone...?", had a few brief interactions but nothing too noteworthy. But, I had a nice interaction when I walked over to a cute Chinese girl standing nearby and said "you're waiting for someone?" she agreed, so I said "about 6 foot, blonde hair...?" and she laughed. She was an architecture major at my uni. I liked her, I could've asked her out (was only borderline attracted) but my deep diving was only about 90% on point, I collected some info about her but skipped around a bit and I didn't think she was sharing particularly deeply. Anyway, I added some touch and when her friend was spied in the distance I said "amazing, she's almost as cute as you"... anyway, just briefly said hi to the friend and let my girl go, didn't matter, but I felt a fair bit better having finally had a decent interaction (the first since the tram conversation about 10 approaches previously).

jdoc had messaged me he was running a few mins late, next girl I opened was completely disinterested so I just sat next to her and waited around a bit and then met jdoc, this was really awesome (again, shout out to jdoc). Some other dudes he knew came over too and we ended up having a long conversation about game, I hope I can meet these guys for gaming later. Also turns out jdoc knows PrettyDecent which is great too, I was gonna suggest we all game together at some point, but no need to sweat it since jdoc can set something up at the appropriate time (shout out to PrettyDecent here ). But anyway I grabbed one of the other dude's numbers and we might game together sometime [edit: just texted the dude and he's responded "no worries mate", man of few words but apparently he's down for the plan, so that's good].

So now we decided to do a little approaching, this was super fun, I wasn't really following much of a process just grabbing random girls and saying whatever came in my head and many of them just fucked off, this led to a conversation with jdoc about gaming styles -- I tend to mass approach and screen a lot with playful antics and touch, but I want to be more of a generalist, anyway today I felt my vibe was off, so that's why the shotgun approaching wasn't working, I would've done better to slow down a bit and use more of a scripted opener like "I was just XXX and I noticed how amazingly cute you are and YYY". But anyway it was all good fun.

We gradually meandered over to an upmarket shopping centre with a lot of fashion stores and predictably lots of hot women. jdoc was doing extremely well, the funny thing is we go for TOTALLY different women but anyway he had a lot of long conversations in which I'd visit nearby shops and chat to shop assistants or whatnot to pass the time, umm think he got some numbers etc, but no doubt he'll write his own report at some point. I was still not really discovering my vibe, but I did chat to a uniqlo assistant: Hi, what can I get you today? ... ohh well I was just planning to talk to you, I thought you were a customer... what's your name, etc... pretty soon she asked again what I wanted and I said playfully "your phone number" ... backed off a little "only teasing you" and chatted a fair bit about the merchandise, seasons etc... got subject back onto her and discovered some basic info, well she wasn't really down, but the whole interaction was good practice, she was a nice girl and I enjoyed talking to her.

I then did another interaction which I was extremely proud of, when I left uniqlo store I saw a real tall gorgeous hotty ahead of me so I squeezed past her on the escalator and stood one step down (at eye level to her) and RIGHT in her space and opened in a sexy drawl with strong EC "you look like you need somebody to talk to"... ended up complimenting her eyeshadow and asking if she was Korean... Japanese so I broke out the JP but unfortunately hit ground level and she wasn't interested and left. Meh.

Meanwhile through all this jdoc was talking to various women and doing well from what I could ascertain. We decided to wander back over to the original shopping centre and try the supermarket, which was what I had suggested in the first place (this particular supermarket is GREAT for my demographic and gaming style)... HAHA, rediscovered my vibe properly for the first time in months, this was fucking hilarious. My first interaction was with a girl looking at apples, I opened her "could you please pick out some apples for me?" ... she was a bit confused so I clarified, "what kind of apple should I buy?" ... "should I go cheaper... or is shinier better?" ... she's looking pretty dubious so I took an apple and said playfully "well, you can be my assistant... take a bite and tell me what you think" ... she laughed and I spent a while trying to convince her to take a bite of the apple but eventually she moved off. This was a really funny interaction, as I said, in many of my interactions I asked for compliance. My next approach was to a cute Chinese girl choosing meat. This went really well. I asked her what she was cooking and started asking a bit about her. I can't really remember what we talked about but I eventually asked her to coffee after shopping (didn't think I was attracted enough to ask for a number but she was cute), anyway she showed signs of moving off eventually, so I just said "come here", pulled her in and gave her a big kiss on the cheek "nice to meet you [her name]", apparently jdoc's been in the next aisle and heard a huge "mwa" and thought WTF? he reported that she looked a bit dazed after this. haha. I was totally in the mood after this and the next interaction was much more on point, I complimented the big bow in her hair and chatted a little about Vietnamese and Vietnamese food etc, told her she was to be my research assistant and to call her mother and find out how to cook good pho, and we would meet for coffee later in the week to discuss the pho we're going to make. She gave a number, although no response to icebreaker so I suspect it's a flake. Well, I had that feeling at the time, but it was still a really fun interaction.

Yeah so I felt MUCH better after this, didn't feel like such a lame-ass chode, we did some more approaching in the shopping centre and I had a VERY fun interaction with a seated girl who is apparently an executive assistant, just said teasing things like "ahh so you run the company while your boss sits around looking pretty?" ... she demurred so I then countered with "ahh, you prefer a good strong dominant man to tell you what to do?"... she giggled... teased her a little about having no boyfriend but apparently she does have one. Was a little lost here for a moment so I just fixed her with very strong eye contact for a long time and told her sternly "This will NOT DO!" ... she's like "...?" and I replied angrily "WRONG answer!"... she laughed. Asked a bit about her family "ohh, you have a sister, is she as cute as you?" ... she giggled "does SHE have a boyfriend?"... she giggled... chewed the fat with her a little (this girl looked amazing, very fashionable and beautiful, seated but looked tall for a Vietnamese-Australian, beautiful makeup, and we vibed well, I would have LOVED a date with her), dropped the ball on deep diving though, I started to ask a bit about her goals but I couldn't really relate, since her main plan was to go to secretarial college and get better at what she already does. Hmm. She said "I really AM taken though" and I replied "well I'm happy that I made my interest so plain, because it's easy to be a nice guy and have those boring friendly conversations, so I'm considering this conversation a huge success". So eventually I bailed saying "well I will have to get on, but I would CERTAINLY have invited you for a coffee". She was pretty happy.

I then had to hang around for a while since jdoc was not there, he texted he was about to do an approach so I texted back my location... umm said hello to a few girls, had a really funny bantering session with a French girl and her French guy colleague... she wanted to whiten my smile, I said "ohh does that come with a smile?" ... yes, she smiled widely at this "does it come with a kiss as well?" she's like "ohh ahh hmm well we'll see" and I'm like "AH, these vague promises! Soon as I buy you're all business, no kiss! I KNOW your game! HAHA" and she's giggled at this, I ended up guessing she might be Tunisian (she isn't, but I was partly on the money since Tunisians speak French) and she discussed her skin colour and asked whether I find her attractive, I said YES I certainly do, you look AMAZING. I probably would have asked for a hangout eventually, but she got distracted by a client, and I ended up talking to the dude for a while as well. Still no jdoc so I went to a cosmetics store and bought some soaps which I had previously bought, dude asked me where I usually buy these products and I said in Japan, he was Japanese so we chatted in JP for a long time. I also gave him a bracelet I bought in a store (to kill time while jdoc was doing an approach) since I had a whole handful of them, and we exchanged numbers, he's very cool.

jdoc texted he had a date so I was pretty cool with this, feeling a bit exhausted, no tangible results except one flaky number but had a fucking BLAST. Decided to head home and write up a report, but lingered a little on the way, as I was leaving in the escalator I opened another real cutie, complimented her black and white dress and asked her to open her coat and show it to me properly (she didn't comply), we reached street level and I was gonna ask her to walk with me, but realized I was going the other way to her and her friend, so I farewelled her with touch and went my way. First I went to a bar and I noticed a girl I knew there, that I pulled home a few weeks back, but didn't like very much (I acted pretty beta on the date, so it's not really her fault, but still left a nasty taste in my mouth), I said hi to her and she greeted me in an okay fashion, but then vaguely indicated a table of her friends and then turned away and ignored me, I think she meant me to join her friends and she'd be there later, but I was a bit slow on the uptake, also found her behaviour unfriendly, so I just sat down with some dude and finished my drink and left. Then I went to a coffee shop I know, did a few approaches here and there on the way, but nothing too serious, mainly just complimenting girls, and reactions were basically good (a big contrast to previously, because I was warmed up, not in my head, body language and facial expressions on point, in a completely giving mood, had my IDGAF vibe, etc).

In the coffee shop I encountered a girl who I really like and have had long conversations with (she works there), so we reconnected pretty well, I stayed about 40min and had various fragmentary conversations with her in between customers and the training she was doing with a new Chinese employee (also reasonably cute, I've spoken to her a few times but her English isn't great). I'm really proud of myself, she complimented my appearance (something that happened a lot throughout the night) and I responded "I was just thinking the same about you"... later she was putting on lipgloss (looked great) and I teased her "I know all your beauty secrets now... your lips are VERY kissable!"... she laughed. I asked her for a hangout soon after but nogo, she has a boyfriend which I think she has already told me previously, but I forgot because it's been quite a while. Anyway, I'm just so proud that I ACTUALLY DID IT. Another fun interaction was a pair of girls were standing outside the shop so I waved at the cute one and smiled and blew her a kiss (in a very playful way that I have perfected by doing this a lot in Japan, also did it with a very cute Chinese MILF the other day in the city here), not really trying to get anything except to make her smile, which she did. I LOVE making women smile.

Yeah so I'm keen to read jdoc's report, overall this was a very fun outing in which I rediscovered my vibe after a long time, really had to persist for a number of hours and through plenty of boring beta conversations in which I'd basically forgotten how to game, but the supermarket was the turning point for me. We must do it again ASAP.

 

[ray_zorse]

Not much to report except my relationship management is going fine, and I've been getting my shit together somewhat in terms of body goals, time management etc although I got sick and crashed a day or two back and lost ground, so it's one step forward two steps back, but all is going pretty well overall.

This report is mainly about this morning's stalking incident, Sam #2 is still at it, she texted me a week or two back with a long chatty text that I ignored as per normal practice, and then soon after that I encountered her on the footpath as I was leaving school, we both had our son with us and she was carrying a paper shopping bag, I smiled and nodded and went to continue walking but she stopped and tried to give me the bag which I saw contained a large wrapped present. I shook my head and said "no" and kept going. So that's the background to today.

Now this morning I saw her with her back to me down at the playground and quickly retraced my steps to get away, but she later found me while I was talking to another dad. and came up and waited beside me, I didn't break circle, just continued my conversation. We were talking about study habits and I mentioned Leticia, my girlfriend, whom he has met, and her admirable study habits, as a subtle signal to Sam #2 that I am attached and unavailable, but in retrospect I regret having revealed ANY information about myself to her, however inconsequential.

Eventually my friend included Sam #2 and they talked for some minutes (her main way of interacting with people is to either define them or offer unwanted advice, a huge red flag for me as it's what my wife does and exactly what is described by Patricia Evans in her excellent books on abusive relationships), I just sat there wondering how to get away.

Eventually I stood up and told my friend I had to go, and he stood up as well and said he had to go get a coffee (he had a dog with him, I had my son)... I had been thinking of inviting him for coffee but didn't because I knew my stalker would invite herself along too. I feel upset that my stalker ruined this interaction for me, which would have put me in a good mood all day. Also I'd overslept and needed breakfast and coffee.

So then my stalker says to me "I'd just like to catch up with you for a bit if that's okay" and I replied "I'm a bit busy now" (totally fuckin jack of this) and called to my son and we went to go (this was the last time I gave her my eye contact). She didn't give up... "are you taking your son to care now?" I replied "no". As we walked off she followed me wittering about stuff like "have I done something to offend you" "I was just trying to help" (okay so she realizes that sending me all the letters and the judgemental act was not on)... "you're acting a bit weird aren't you" (a bit rich coming from her). She kept walking beside me trying to get my attention and I sighed deeply and said "please don't follow me around" without making eye contact and kept walking... after about 100m she gave up and said "well, have a good day" and peeled off.

Argh, this is totally fucked. Not sure if I could have handled this better. I have been inclined to be patient with her and explain that I am happy to interact with her on the same basis as other parents but I want nothing further... but it hasn't worked and lately I just want her gone so I'm not even going to attempt to be polite in any way. Fuck this bitch. What really pisses me off about the situation is she's approached me in such a dishonest way, hiding her true intentions (of more than friends) and trying to set up a chase frame (earlier on), nobody pursues you like this unless they want more than friends (although I think partly it's that I'm a huge challenge to her).

 

[jdoc]

Just read up on your Sept 29 post - cheers for the shout out. Glad you had fun!

- Jeff

 

[ray_zorse]

Thanks jdoc. I've been a bit busy to go out again lately although coincidentally I met your buddy again several times at his workplace and had some enjoyable chats, he is very well presented and seems friendly and knowledgeable so I am not surprised he does well for himself.

Just a follow-up re my stalker Sam #2, well I change phones a lot and don't have all her bizarre text msgs, also have not kept notes re date and her specific behaviour lately which might be a problem if I have to seek an Intervention Order (IVO), obviously that's a last resort though, if it becomes a lot more intrusive than now. So I will record things here.

She's disappointed but not beaten, still busily defining me, offering unwanted advice, trying to set frames and seeking lesser levels of compliance. Definitely cluster B, I feel sorry for her husband, no doubt a poor manipulated puppy for whom she lost attraction long ago. This text came in this morning, ignored of course. Although interestingly she is now for the first time being more honest about her intentions.

Good morning mr grumpy pants....don't stress I will not expend any effort to talk to you again.can you stop looking at me at school if you are not going to back it up. I am disappointed that you could not appreciate the genuine feelings I had for you. ... I thought we could be something. My dad died isolated and lonely because he could not appreciate and embrace people who brought affection into his life you may be headed down the same road? Try not to involve your kids in your revolving door of women I lost a lot of respect for my dad seeing him do this. Best of luck regards [her initials] [misspelled initials of the school]

 

[Sophisticated Gent]

Sounds like Sam #2 has major Daddy issues.

 

[ray_zorse]

All is going well. Leticia helped me host a birthday party for my son, and I must say she was absolutely golden from start to finish, we planned things quite carefully throughout the week before and I did most of the shopping in stages, and she acquired various other items we needed. We worked as a team and she invested considerable effort in making it go well. Poor girl worked until about 3 or 4am the night before, preparing the games and party favours and so on. We handled the food about 50/50 with me concentrating on baking and decorating the cake and herself making pastry, and then we got up early in the morning to arrange everything on platters and get down to the park (ON TIME). It was a beautiful sunny day. Leticia handled the party games while I focused on making the guests comfortable. I got some wonderful photos. Leticia texted me from the bedroom the night before "Ray. i'm exhausted I must sleep now. u did great today. u are a wonderful dad". (I realize I'm displaying a lot of reproductive value).

I completely forgot that she had work the following day, poor thing. After we packed up the party and farewelled the last guests and I was looking forward to chilling at home in the airconditioning, she asked to be taken to work (she had her uniform in her bag) and I said "OMG I completely forgot you had work today... I feel terrible for making you stay up so late, you are amazingly strong". [Although I was over reacting in the moment here, as I HAD told her she could sleep and there was no need to drink coffee with me and stay up late preparing if she didn't want to]. She was kind of quiet in the car, and honestly I felt a moment of neediness / self-doubt, as I was concerned she might have over-invested and regretted it later (I wanted validation to confirm that she wasn't upset or angry, but stopped myself), so I had to tell myself sternly that I provide crazy value to her life and she LOVES investing in me. I just held her hand on the drive and all was fine. We were quite early, so I rewarded her by taking her and kids for a cold drink in her favourite restaurant before she started. I also cleaned the house quite well and did her laundry etc, after kids went to bed, so that she would have a nice relaxing environment to come home to.

In the rest of the weekend I was able to spend some quality time with Leticia, luckily kids were attending a family event with their mum. I organized various activities such as a trip to the park and the coffee shop in the morning, a trip to the pool in the afternoon, plus our regular dinner with my extended family which Leticia enjoys. In the middle of the day without kids I offered to Leticia to take her out to lunch, but then added that I thought it might be nicer to just chill at home and have downtime. She agreed and then wanted to be taken to the market so she could cook a special meal for me. OMG what an amazing woman. She cooked Vietnamese style pork trotters and prawn in a chicken broth with amazing vegetables and herbs, honestly I was a bit iffy about the texture and flavour of the pork trotters but once I got used it it it was one of the yummiest things I've ever tasted. After we relaxed for a bit I got the kids' swimming gear together and took her for a bubble tea and bought her a bikini in her favourite store.

In the process of this day I met several people whom I'd cold approached previously, one of them was a cute Vietnamese woman I had dated about 3~4 weeks ago although it was only an informational date that did not lead anywhere, she was initially thirsty, but a few days after the date she did not respond to a rapport building text like "hey there, how was your day off? I just XXX YYY", so I NEXTed her. She works at the market, so when we bought the prawns I greeted her in Vietnamese and introduced her to Leticia, Leticia had beautiful makeup on and heels and was wearing a stunning red dress which gathered a lot of compliments throughout the day, so I had the idea that some preselection might save the day with this girl. Dunno, but I'd be keen to have a 3some with her and Leticia. However, my game was not really on point, I didn't go into the interaction with much of a plan and I regretted this later, asked her some lame question about her studies and misheard her when she invested by speaking Vietnamese with me. IDC, a learning experience. The other was a dude at the pool who works in a local cosmetics store, he ended up texting me in the evening "3 BOYS??" and I've chatted with him over text a bit. I think he might be gay although my gaydar isn't 100%, I find him attractive so I had been thinking of having a little flirtation but he's seen me with Leticia now and that complicates matters a bit. Oh well who cares, will have to see.

Anyway, Leticia's marvellous behaviour over this weekend (and previously) really vindicates my decision to commit to her, I really feel like the luckiest guy in the world at the moment. We had an incredible amount of sex over the weekend, I cannot remember how many times we fucked but it was a lot. She had numerous orgasms by vaginal sex, the vibrator, my tongue, etc, including several morning quickies. She looks absolutely amazing when she gets carried away in the moment, so incredibly sexy and uninhibited, I want to take a video of her face during sex and put it on Youtube. She likes to go to sleep with her hand on my cock every night if I let her. She also regularly holds my cock while I pee, I am teaching her to do it correctly (and building positive reference experiences to combat my pee shyness in the process). She isn't as keen on toys or oral sex at the moment and often says "nooo I just want your cock please" but whatever I'm offering she always gets into it, and this in turn gets me in the mood to fuck her yet again.

She often says how much she LOVES MY COCK and she says "how about quick one" about ten times a day, I usually just laugh and say "how about one?" but I try to fuck her as often as possible (I am currently working on finding some places to have public sex with her, as she really enjoyed it last time we tried it). She also likes to yell "RAY AND LETICIA ARE GOING TO FUCK!!!" or "I WANT YOU TO FUCK ME RAY!!" and I respond like "can we have that a bit louder for the neighbours"... "hold on I'll just open the window"... "can we have that in Chinese for the neighbours this side"... we usually leave the blinds open so that the people in the apartment building opposite can watch us having sex if they so choose. It's a bit far (maybe 50~100 metres) but I am sure they can see inside. Both of us seem to find this a big turn-on, hahaha.