Altair's journey, lets give it another go, help appreciated.

[Smith]

Altair,

good job on going out when you don't want to bro. That's the way to go! Keep it up man. Results will come when you least expect it. When those insecurities thoughts kick in, that's when you need to go out and focus on positive reference experience. Try to stay in the conversation and a simple trick to do that is to use word association, so pick a word she said and say the next thing that's associated with it that comes up to your mind. The conversation doesn't have to logically flow, as long as your vibe is good. Like when that girl said she partied there a year ago and Big Sean was in town, whatever comes to your mind when you think of Big Sean, just say it. There is also an exercise you can do at home. It's called game your cell phone. Just look at your cell phone and pretend it's a girl who doesn't respond, and you have to keep talking and amuse yourself for 2 mins non stop. If you stop, you have to start over again.

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Hi there guys.

So the past weekend was somewhat of a roller coaster ride to me. I cannot explain what it is exactly but for some reason I felt a lot of what Grand Pooba and Richard talked about earlier on in the thread come back to me, inner game issues concerning race. A part of it also has to do with online dating being rough for me while my friends who are white manage to do okay on it but really, I was off a lot of this past weekend.

Yesterday night (Sunday) I go to the grocery store and legit need help looking for something. Ask for a brunette, cute tall one, shopping in the area for it and she doesn't know but tells me she is new to the area.

Her: Ya like I just moved here
Me: Me too, a couple months ago
Her: Awesome right?

I wish I remembered the rest of the convo guys but point being, she was into it and this was a layup for me, until it wasn't. I missed a great chance because I was so freaking down on myself the whole fucking weekend, feel like I became my worst enemy. Somehow I feel like in that instance, me in the right state of mind could have number closed her, she seemed so receptive.

Later on in that trip I see this other girl, tanned brunette wearing a Wisconsin shirt, sexy girl. See her checking something out, it was coffee mugs.

Me: Hi hows it going
Her: Hi there
Me: Um (chokes and runs out of shit to say)

Brunette walked away, confident I creeped her out.

Decided after that enough was enough, headed home.

This weekend was just not my weekend, just seemed bad for me.

Will be more prepared for this upcoming weekend though.

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Well guys, I have been off this week when it comes to the approaching, really taken the past few days to collect my thoughts and get it all together. I am going to be hitting the scene real hard this coming weekend and making quite a few approaches, realize I have to be bold here and really go for that number close.

In all I've just been wondering about life, the future, and whether I will get some of the things out of life that I really want out of life. I am going to getting back into it all soon, still hitting the gym hard (one in my area is nice for a place near high rises, it has a nice swimming pool and a huge weight room!). Already see my six pack abs coming in and the truth is I don't want to stay in my current city forever, I see my time here as a time to build to be the man I want to be and that man will get the kinds of women that I want.

I am going to order the book Models by Mark Manson this weekend when I get the chance, hope I find it at a local bookstore tbh, and then I will be doing some more approaches.

As always, Trader Joes Sundays are good to go and I will be better prepped for them this time.

 

[foggy]

Well guys, I have been off this week when it comes to the approaching, really taken the past few days to collect my thoughts and get it all together. I am going to be hitting the scene real hard this coming weekend and making quite a few approaches, realize I have to be bold here and really go for that number close.

In all I've just been wondering about life, the future, and whether I will get some of the things out of life that I really want out of life. I am going to getting back into it all soon, still hitting the gym hard (one in my area is nice for a place near high rises, it has a nice swimming pool and a huge weight room!). Already see my six pack abs coming in and the truth is I don't want to stay in my current city forever, I see my time here as a time to build to be the man I want to be and that man will get the kinds of women that I want.

I am going to order the book Models by Mark Manson this weekend when I get the chance, hope I find it at a local bookstore tbh, and then I will be doing some more approaches.

As always, Trader Joes Sundays are good to go and I will be better prepped for them this time.

Thanks for letting us know

 

[Franco]

Altair,

I went ahead and moved this entire thread to the "Journals" section since it essentially has become a Journal. =)

- Franco

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Altair,

I went ahead and moved this entire thread to the "Journals" section since it essentially has become a Journal. =)

- Franco

Only temporarily Franco, I think it is normal for me to occasionally have that hang up but I was going to post about more approaches come this Monday. I would love it if you moved it back to the general section so others who need to assist me (which I really do need) can assist me as opposed to be just talking to myself.

My apologies for the OT but I wanted to keep this primarily about approaches, this week has been the definition of hell for me but I see it getting much much better the following week.

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Whew!

So I had an off week last week, just a lot going on with work and other things not to mention I had a relapse back to my old depressing days yet again.

Got back into the swing of things yesterday. Received a nice bonus at work this past Friday and decided that yesterday I would spend some of it on a new shirt, and new shoes. Went to a major mall in my city but the place was clearly lacking in quality. Mostly ghetto trash, fat women, fat Mexicans, and a couple of older white women. Saw one white MILF and thought about approaching, did not.

Brought my shit, day flew by, and later on in the night decided to drive to a bar scene in my city. Went to a bar, was awkwardly walking around since I went alone, and made no approaches whatsoever. Went back home like a loser and went to sleep.

Sunday rolls around

Most of the day spent doing chores, browsing the internet, and reading a book but I head to the Trader Joes at around 6 PM.

Walk in as usual, run into a cute tanned brunette, she makes eye contact, smiles, and I open

Me: Hi wuts up!
Her: (smiles and keeps walking)

Few minutes later run into her again, she says "I am so not trying to get in your way haha!" and I respond with "its all good!", she keeps going. Later on I see her with her boyfriend

Then I run into a redhead in another aisle, young fit and sexy, think about whether or not I want to make the approach, do not make the approach.

Then I run into this blonde with big glasses, very sexy, stare at her for like two seconds but then I don't make the approach because it seemed really creepy. Instantly walked away and checked out.

So that's my day so far.

Walked around a bit and not much opportunities to find approachable women after that.

Moral of the story

1. I cannot afford to have OFF weeks, it is just not an option in my situation. An off week and I am fucking done. From this point on, 1 approach a day with Altair, NO EXCUSES!

2. I am still shy about what others will think so because of that, I still have some of that approach anxiety.

3. Cannot afford to relapse into my old whiny form, must stay focused day in and day out.

 

[foggy]

1. I cannot afford to have OFF weeks, it is just not an option in my situation. An off week and I am fucking done. From this point on, 1 approach a day with Altair, NO EXCUSES!

i'm gonna hold you to it

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Please do, all the while I will hope that Franco moves this back to the main section as I sincerely need help.

So today I realized that I forgot to buy a bottle of milk so run to the local Kroger to get it, it was just so fucking dead. I was walking around a bit, get it, but I walk around the store for a bit to see if I need anything else. Then opportunity presents itself, blonde with a nice body wearing those light green yoga pants, I only see her back and tall frame. Whatever, just had to go approach.

Feeling nervous, I go to my usual opener of asking them where shit is

Me: Do you know where the coffee is around here?
Her: No (I finally saw her face and she gave me that blank stare, had huge dark circles under her eyes and looked depressed as fuck)
Me: Oh okay, thanks....

Nothing worth bragging about, should have been more energetic, store was empty, and I just didn't escalate or try to push a convo. She wasn't attractive but I would not have minded fucking her hard.

Lessons:

1. Be ready and be on your feet, have it all ready to go because you never know when opportunity may present itself.

2. I really need an opener and a way to jump off, will have to read Grand Pooba's posts on this thread again alongside reading this thread again today.

 

[Ergon]

Hey man!
Is good that you went out today. I recently learned that consistence is super important for cold approach.
Even as much as going out for a while everyday to talk to an stranger helps you stack up momentum and keep the habit.

About how you open. You do good. Situational definitely works, but in my experience works better in situations where people are expected to talk to each other anyways. In other cases, the girl is just confused abut why you wanna keep talking to her, unless all about you screams sex, or you can signal your interest pretty quickly.

So you can definitely make it work, but I think you're making it harder on yourself. Being direct only make a girl be more receptive at best or say she has a boyfriend, at worst.

Hey I just saw you walk by/sitting here and I thought you were cute so I had to come say hi

works perfectly fine for most cases. You can adapt it, though, like:

-Hello, how are you doing?
-Pretty good
-Cool, I just noticed you down the aisle and I thought you had the most amazing sense of style I've seen all day and I had to say hi. My name is Altair

Or something like

-Hey do you know if this brand is good?
-Yes/no bla bla
-All right. Hey, I just noticed you have incredible hair by the way.
-Thanks.
-[Make comment about wherever it's in her cart or items she's holding or whatever]

Yeah, direct can feel really intimidating at first, but after a couple of times that you try it out, you see it's really not that big of a deal.

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Hi guys.

So today was not my best day, had top tier insomnia last night and really felt like napping after work so I did for an hour. Then once again, sticking true to my journey, I went out and walked around outside my high rise. Really felt like getting a burger so I headed to a nearby burger joint but on the way I run into her, cute blonde with a nice style.

I slow down my walk and look away from her instead of towards her, then I finally break the ice right before a red light and crossing.

Me: Hi how are you?
Her: Good and you?
Me: Great great, hey is that a subway quiznos or what over there? (pointing to restaurant behind her)
Her: Oh that's a firehouse I think
Me: I am not the best at sub places I guess
Her: Hey I just moved here!
Whoa she was smiling and upbeat
Me: From where? Fresh out of college?
Her: Chicago, but hey I get told I look young a lot
Me: Cool, nice fun city, midwestern people are nice
Her: Where are you from?
Me: I am from Tennessee
Her: That is so good I have a friend's bachelorette party to go to there
Me: Those are fun, hi it was nice to meet you, I am Altair
Her: Torrie

I walk away and towards the burger joint.

So what REALLY happened here?

1. I was depressed today, overworked and exhausted.

2. Still went out and magically, opportunity happened and with a woman of my type.

3. Once again, open opportunity and I fucking crashed.

Damn, why is it that these things happen when I am not on the top of my game?

Guess that is a lesson to do my best to ALWAYS be on the top of my game right.

No wonder guys like Chase and Franco can be so positive 90% of the time!

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

So today was a wild one guys!

Headed out after work to my high rise and walked around a bit, staying true to my goal of an approach a day.

Saw one tall hot ginger and her cute blonde friend, both good looking, walking a husky puppy with bright blue eyes so I crossed the street to approach them.

Me: Oh my god that is such a cute puppy
Redhead: I know it is a Husky!
Me: A cute one at that, come here buddy!
Blonde: He is very friendly
Redhead: (takes her cellphone out)
Me: Lemme guess Instagram?
Redhead: She thinks you're cute, get in the pic with her
Me: Okay
Redhead: (takes pic of me in it with her)
Me: So are you guys fresh outta college?
Redhead: Yup, go Huskies!
Blonde: Florida St here!
Me: Nice guys, so how are you guys loving it here?
Blonde: It is awesome
Redhead: SO we're going to get something to drink!
Me: Well that's cool you guys enjoy yourselves, have fun
Blonde: Thanks you too!

So blonde gets in pic with me and all, redhead tells me blonde thinks I am cute, and guess what guys!? Being the DUMB FUCK I AM I do not go for the fucking number. I had a tough day at work and really had to power through but still, what the fuck! Fuuuccccking shit if I cannot get a number close off of that guys I feel so hopeless to a degree.

Yet, the whole pic ordeal left me confused, like was I going to be "some weird creepy dude" that hit on them or what? I mean I don't know but she said her friend thought I was cute so I mean well, shit, that was a confidence boost no lie.

At some point, I am going in more and more direct, that's just the reality of it all, I have to.

So I went up to a brunette on my way back and approached her, she smiled after I said "how are you?" and that was it.

Then on the way back to my high rise, I run into this latina with a ponytail who had her headphones in, I tap her on the shoulder, she looks back pissed, I said "nevermind", she shakes her head and keeps moving.

So promising day but it didn't really amount to anything, it does show me that potential is there and my looks are not the problem as I imagined them to be.

 

[Ambiance]

Altair,

Have you done the Newbie assignment?

And seriously, if you really want to make some progress resolve to ask 7 women for their numbers next time you go out. If you have to, ask for the number on the freaking opener- the point of the exercise is to show you numbers are no big deal.

And stop using depression as an excuse. You are depressed because you aren't doing as well as you should be. It's a syndrome, not a handicap. From this moment on, you are not fucking depressed.

It's great that you're able to do a little bit of conversation, not to mention that you do approach sometimes. But is that really your limit? If so, bravo man. May you bring many a woman 30 seconds of stimulation.

Ambiance

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Headed out to the gym as usual, not that far from my high rise and did some workouts. See hot blonde in a pink shirt and pony tail looking for stuff and I open her.

Me: I don't think they have yoga studios in this building
Her: I wasn't looking for one
Me: Oh, the nearest Starbucks is right around the corner
Her: (laughs) Dick!
Me: Altair, nice to meet you
Her: Melissa
Me: So what were you looking for?
Her: A place to do sit ups
Me: Well they have that like nearby in that part of the gym, you new here?
Her: Thanks, ya I recently moved from Ohio
Me: Go buckeyes?
Her: Ewww no fuck the buckeyes, go Wolverines
Me: You are one strange Ohioan Melissa
Her: And you are one strange man Altair (laughing)
Me: Well I have to get back to my bench press set, it was nice to meet you
Her: It was nice to meet you too, I am sure I will see you around!

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

I usually try to stay civil in my thread but that passive aggressive jab was not needed. Ambiance, I don't see you starting a log of your own or doing anything that would even warrant any sense of credibility on my end or that of most people. Do not give me any advice and please, if you cannot show decency, fuck off because you're not exactly a Franco or Chase.

 

[Ambiance]

@Altair

Clearly you didn't even take a peek at my posts. Nor do you know what passive/aggressive means.

I'm telling you Altair, the day you stop the mental masturbation and the excuses and the defensiveness will be the day you start actually getting places with women.

At the very least, rename this journal to something less misleading.

Ambiance

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

@Altair

Clearly you didn't even take a peek at my posts. Nor do you know what passive/aggressive means.

I'm telling you Altair, the day you stop the mental masturbation and the excuses and the defensiveness will be the day you start actually getting places with women.

At the very least, rename this journal to something less misleading.

Ambiance

I am actually taking you dumb fuck, learn how to read and as far as getting places with women, it sure as hell won't be with your assistance so please fuck off. You have no value to add to this board and especially not this journal, I don't have time for imbeciles like you.

Will update this thread with more approaches, hope that the advice and posts that do come up are from guys who are willing to give constructive criticism and help.

 

[foggy]

Headed out to the gym as usual, not that far from my high rise and did some workouts. See hot blonde in a pink shirt and pony tail looking for stuff and I open her.

Me: I don't think they have yoga studios in this building
Her: I wasn't looking for one
Me: Oh, the nearest Starbucks is right around the corner
Her: (laughs) Dick!
Me: Altair, nice to meet you
Her: Melissa
Me: So what were you looking for?
Her: A place to do sit ups
Me: Well they have that like nearby in that part of the gym, you new here?
Her: Thanks, ya I recently moved from Ohio
Me: Go buckeyes?
Her: Ewww no fuck the buckeyes, go Wolverines
Me: You are one strange Ohioan Melissa
Her: And you are one strange man Altair (laughing)
Me: Well I have to get back to my bench press set, it was nice to meet you
Her: It was nice to meet you too, I am sure I will see you around!

Good job. Sounds like she was having a fun time talking to you. If you had transitioned into a little bit of deep diving it sounds like you could have gotten her number pretty easy. What are your plans for the next time you see her?

 

[Ambiance]

I am actually taking you dumb fuck, learn how to read and as far as getting places with women, it sure as hell won't be with your assistance so please fuck off. You have no value to add to this board and especially not this journal, I don't have time for imbeciles like you.

Woah, tell me how you REALLY feel!

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Could not make any approaches during the day due to being at work for so long on a Friday, like till 6:30, BLEH!

Decided to head out to a few bars tonight but my city has a shitty bar scene despite having a decent scene for people in their 20s, bars were like a few miles drive away so I had to get through piece of shit traffic to even get there, swear living in a high rise sucks balls sometimes. Finally arrive at the the bar strip but had to park like a fucking mile away, in case you guys are wondering I went by myself because I can't assemble a crew to go out with.

Arrive at a bar and decide on one goal, come heaven or hell, I am not leaving this fucking area until I make some damn approaches!

About 30 minutes pass and I am easily becoming that awkward guy at a bar all there by himself and standing there by himself, it is even worse because I am not buying a drink since I have to drive back home so I am sure the bartenders are pissed that I haven't spent a cent.

But not a fucking chance, I am not leaving the bar, as awkward as I might look, until I grow some balls and make a fucking approach. See a couple of latinas take a table next to me, both of them kinda cute but I don't have the balls to approach. Cannot handle the music so I finally go outside because I feel like I am having a slight nervous breakdown being in a bar all alone, fuck I wish I had some cool friends to go out to bars with, so many friends from university were lame fucks, bleh!

Then I go through and I see these two girls walking towards me, one is a cute brunette and the other is her fat ugly friend. Whatever, I am going to approach, even if I get brutally rejected who cares, it's just a brunette.

I approach the two

Me: Hi guys so that bar over there, what kind of a crowd are we talking?
Fat: Huh?
Me: I just moved to this city and was wondering what kind of a crowd is at that bar over there that is playing loud music, just checking out some bars before my friends get here to you know! Haha!
Cute: All kinds, like all kinds
Me: Your accent is kinda cute, where are you from?
Cute: Czech Republic
Fat: Connecticut (no wonder she was so ugly)
Me: Great, I am from Tennessee!
Cute: Nice nice!
Me: So guys how are you liking tonight?
Cute: Fun fun you know
Fat: Ya its fun
Me: So I am altair, nice to meet you guys!
Cute: Ora
Fat: Rebecca
Me: Nice nice so Ora what languages can you speak?
Cute: Italian, Spanish, German, French, and English
Me: I speak English....
The two laugh

And I run out of shit to say, I run out of shit to say, this is stuff I am going to talk about on a main thread I post in the general section. It faded from there, we went out separate ways.

Then I keep walking around and head back to the bar, see tall brunette ahead of me with her redhead friend who is like really short, as she heads into the bar I make the approach.

Me: Excuse me!
Redhead: (gets her friend)
Me: How tall are you if you don't mind me asking?
Her: Like 6 ft
Me: Oh wow, for a second I thought I got shorter, nice
Brunette: Uh uh okay, bye!

Lame approach! I deserved it.

Walk around a bit more and stumble into a redneck bar, like really really redneck. Walk around a bit, see some girls, and then I stand around awkwardly yet again. The rednecks are quite nice to me, showing courtesy, did not expect that. Then I see a couple of brunettes at a table, my mindset again, who cares if they end up being bitches to me when I approach because they are brunettes and therefore it won't really mean shit to me if I get rejected.

Me: Hi guys who is that guy in that picture hanging in the bar?
Brunette 1: Uh no idea really, who is it?
Brunette 2: It's Toby Keith
Me: Oh nice, is that his song playing right now?
Brunette 1: Yes
Me: Cool which one?
Brunette 2: Red Solo Cup
Me: Nice, I am altair by the way, nice to meet you
Brunette 1: Ya nice to meet you

Didn't give me her name or anything, whatever I walked away, no big deal, just a brunette.

Headed on over to another bar, once again a while of standing around until finally I approached this crowd of like 3 girls. Don't even remember what I said, maybe like what drink should I get? Saw one laughing, then I told them to have a great night and headed back home.

So still no number closes, should have had some at least since I spent the gas driving to the fucking bars but whatever, I had to stick to my plan of making an approach every single day and that was it.

Tomorrow I make approaches during the day walking around if I get the chance.