BAM! Let's Do It

[Gentle_Phrases]

Well, now that I have your attention

Guys, I've been reading Chase Amante's musings for the past year and I've definitely seen results in terms of expressed interest (thanks mate). However, a mixture of irrational fears and complacency have kept me from reaching my true potential as a social dynamo. Right now, Im talking about below "court jester." Try, "keyboard jockey." Certainly a few of you know how I feel and many of you might remember "those days."

Pause.

(*ahem*)

Shed a tear with me for the old ways gentlemen...Viva la revolution!

First things first: Newbie challenge. I'm gonna crush it. One day at a time. Field reports? Expect them. RIght now I'm sittin' on fire folks and I'm hoping ya'll know how to fan the flames.

WOOO it's gettin' hot!

Keep an eye out for my post on day one tomorrow fellas,

G.

 

[Gentle_Phrases]

Day one

I've made this day a blend of days two and three. Last weekend I identified a few places out of my own curiosity, however the logistics would be horrid. Saturday will be the make up. SInce I must walk about a hour a day on busy sidewalks, today's task was simple.

Points on Posture and Eye Contact

WIth increased posture and eye contact, (which I've been practicing since first buying Chase's book) I've noticed that:

1. A small percentage of men and women will break eye contact down.
2. Less than one percent of women will break by looking up and away as if they just saw a wild goat flying in the distance.
3. The majority break off to the side rather quickly. 2 seconds or less.
4. Most people move out of the way when walking towards me.
5. Holding lengthy, relaxed eye contact is still difficult for me. Gotta work on softening it.

*Bonus story - chatting to a gal I hadn't seen since last year, I parted ways by telling her to "shake my banana," as I extended it towards her with a cheeky smile. After feigned shock, she shook it for a brief moment and I left in a fit of raucous, immature laughter.

G.

 

[Gentle_Phrases]

Day Two

Miss me?

Don't think I've been slackin' on you fellas! Saturday was "technically" day two but it was spent handling Day "one'" material. I have two nearby and two far away So far, spots are:

1.) "Lunch line" which has incredibly high turn over and is nearby

2.) "The Drop" A specific sidewalk by a huge set of steps - pretty much a mixing bowl at certain hours

Spots 3 and 4...well I'm still looking. I went to a few places to mosey around but they had virtually no turnover at that point in the day. WIll update.

Also, to get ready for Day 4's material (see post above for days two and three) I've just been initiating conversation with everyone that I cross paths with: moms, dogs, chicks with stern faces. "Hi," "How you doing?" "Nice face!" and etc. Seriously. That short hesitation I once felt is slowly fading.

Progress.

G.

 

[Gentle_Phrases]

Hey lads!

Time for an update. Your lovely G_P has been getting himself into all sorts of trouble lately . I’ve never been so simultaneously proud and yet utterly frustrated with myself!!

I did 5 solid approaches and flirted like the devil today.

...Zero instant dates....no dates scheduled. Also zero numbers.

BUT WHO'S COUNTIN'?

Point is, I smell progress!

Rather than write five “went nowhere” posts, I’ll instead update you guys on the one that taught me the most.

Lesson of the Day

A cute freckled gal I approach after we leave class asks me a million personal questions and seems quite interested as we walk and talk for the next 5-7 minutes. I can hardly remember a word of what was said the entire time. She pretty much did all the talking. At the end I do my “homework” (shout out to Mr. Rob) and ask her out for lunch tomorrow.


Me: “We have to part now, it’s a shame! Hey let’s grab lunch tomorrow”


Her: “ Oh, no...I can’t do lunch tomorrow”


Me: **I blankly stare into her eyes as I notice she has cute , rosey cheeks**


(pregnant pause to give her one last chance at a super sexy lunch partner...going once, going twice....)


Her: “It’s because I have class from 11 to 3 and a morning class before”


Me: “Ah, I see.”


Her: “Well, I’ll see you Wednesday though! Bye!”


*Cue world’s smallest violin*


So here I thought my options were 1) suggest dinner 2) suggest number 3) wait for counter offer. In both scenarios I went for three because intuition told me that was the winner. In the context the other two felt strongly like chasing ("Oh. How about later then? Ah, you have to floss your cat? Right then. Shame."). I failed to attract here - simple as that. What I learned was:

A) Chase wasn't joking when he said that seemingly warm leads could turn out to be nothing

B) Further proof my "intuition" and expectations (which I shouldn't have anyway) are rubbish so I have virtually no excuse not to approach

C) The world did not crumble before my eyes

Anyway, she’s a future reminder every Monday and Wednesday that I got shot down and lived to fight another day. Paired with my Tuesday, Thursday I should be Don Juan by the end of the week.


G.

 

[Marty]

Hey Gentle_Phrases,

Great start. Keep it up!

Don't worry about the statistics, you'll be surprised how fast they change. I just went over my own records to verify that.

First few dozen approaches... I was getting numbers about 30% of the time.

The past ten... 70% of the time. Practice makes perfect!

-Marty

 

[nino]

Definitely a good start!

Me: “We have to part now, it’s a shame! Hey let’s grab lunch tomorrow”

Her: “ Oh, no...I can’t do lunch tomorrow”

Even though I believe she was sincere here, you'd rather want to ask on a high note (especially important for phone numbers). Maybe after some light banter or when you two had a good laugh together, "hey, you seem to be good times, we should grab lunch tomorrow"

-nino

 

[Gentle_Phrases]

Hey Marty, Nino,

Thank you for the replies and encouragement guys. They definitely added a little pep to my day when I read them. More stuff has been going down, just got to make the time to write up these happenings! Expect two posts by tomorrow.

(Also, Nino, you're right about the high points. Thinking I smell some more homework here....urhmm.)

G.

*P.s. Marty, I hope you're last name is Friedman

 

[Gentle_Phrases]

Well, originally I was planning on creating two posts today for you charming Romeos…but that would be unnecessary. Instead I’ll keep it pithy for ya.

You ever felt like you’re coming to the end of a false start? Just as I felt myself reaching a hump yesterday, two strange things happened. A gal began showering me with compliments. Then a Chinese girl that I chatted to for no more than 3 minutes as we waited for an elevator asked for my number, stating that she’d cook me some good home-made oriental food if I came over.

?

It left me wondering...what changed. What was I doing so well in those interactions? I’ll think about them some more to extract the lessons. Maybe this is a sign of slow progress.

Day 7 Material

Today and yesterday I was really milking the walk. To be perfectly honest with you I didn’t see anything out of the ordinary. I did feel pretty cool though. More practice!

G.

 

[Gentle_Phrases]

I was told that I have a great walk today.

Reports on Sunday.

 

[Gentle_Phrases]

I've completed it. All of it. In fact, I got a little carried away, gentlemen. The quality of my work has suffered for a time, thanks to my gallivanting - hence the blackout for the past week. Think "damage control."

The Highlight

Day eight's material was definitely the most enlightening. In fact, I enjoyed day eight's material so much that I haven't stopped since. Direct and Indirect/direct just feel so much more....honest. I've been throwing out genuine compliments everywhere - even ones about bums. I wont detail all the stories (the posts would be prohibitively long) but it's been great. There are still definitely some limiting beliefs but that's a battle which must be waged one reference point at a time.

One thing that I definitely noticed was that there's this "gap" that occurs once a direct statement has been made. The girl may look around, pull out her phone, turn away. During these points I relaxed, stopped talking for a moment and observed.

Every time I rengaged I was warmly welcomed.

If I didn't, they would leave - usually with a quick and disappointed "bye"over the shoulder. The point is, I now know that the technique (for lack of a better word) is best paired with a segway into more traditional conversation. Otherwise, gals will blow themselves out.

I've also had the pleasure of pleasantly surprising a few girls after approaching immediately upon seeing buying signals during the light banter task. It was rewarding to see the smiles on their faces when I "just got it."

Finally, I've realized that I'm infinitely more likely to approach when I have someone to talk to in between sets. It feels more natural to break away and come back - probably because of that feeling of having a "secure base." Over time, I'm sure this will change as I become my own "secure base" in a way. Reference experiences.

I'm also making Chases' "keep your mouth shut" warning my mantra from now on.

G.P.

 

[Marty]

Great progress, GentlePhrases!!

Direct and Indirect/direct just feel so much more....honest. I've been throwing out genuine compliments everywhere - even ones about bums.

Day eight's material was definitely the most enlightening.

Yeah, that was a stunning realization for me too. It took me a good dozen approaches before I plucked up the courage to go direct. After that, though, there's no looking back...!

One thing that I definitely noticed was that there's this "gap" that occurs once a direct statement has been made.

For info: this is the point at which I ask the girl's name. I'm not saying that's correct, just my 2¢. It seems to reward her for engaging and makes progress smooth. Often, I go right ahead and ask her name without even waiting for the compliment to be acknowledged... showing an indifference to validation.

The point is, I now know that the technique (for lack of a better word) is best paired with a segway into more traditional conversation.

The word you're looking for is segue. It is pronounced (more or less) the way you wrote it though. From the Italian word for "follow", with the same Latin root as the English word sequence. This is the sort of crap I learned in my teens when I should have been chasing girls. Wasted youth

I'm also making Chases' "keep your mouth shut" warning my mantra from now on.

Very wise. I soon realized the value of that one too.

All in all, I'm delighted that things are coming along so well for you, GentlePhrases!

-Marty

 

[Gentle_Phrases]

All in all, I'm delighted that things are coming along so well for you, GentlePhrases!

Thanks Marty, I appreciate the encouragement.

You guys must have missed me~~~~~~! I haven't posted in while. Part of it is due to the fact that I've created a physical journal to write notes about my personal progress and shifts in mindset. For newbie guys like me reading this, I think it's definitely something to consider adding to your forum posts. Something about writing with pen and paper brought an edgy vibe to the experience; I felt so rebellious *tehe*

ANYWAY.

I've been neglecting pickup to focus on other goals for the past two weeks. You’ll see why shortly.

Most of this procrastination has been spent in the gym. I made lifting 4 days a week MY JOB. The last two weeks have been unreal. The intensity was just so raw. In the past two months, I've gained 10 lbs. Yes, it's true that much of it is likely water weight, undigested protein shakes, and creatine. At the same time, there's still no denying that a respectable amount of bulk has embellished my frame.

The lesson here? Hard work = results. Or rather pain = growth, adversity = transformation, trial…equals metamorphosis...which brings us to "the game."

I've now noticed (or at least conceded) that there's a single trend blocking me from progression. Maybe some of you have experienced this before. On October 22 I did three cold approaches and got three numbers. During each approach I used indirect direct, broke the touch barrier, and suggested an outing before asking for contact information. In each case I left a smiling girl. When I texted them later that day...yes, you guessed it. I got zero responses.

Outwardly, I assumed that the true rationale for my not approaching the last two weeks was skillful time management. School work, gym, music practice, etc. I’m a busy guy!...Right? . The journaling wouldn't allow me to keep up the façade, though. It’s much harder to write a lie with your own two hands than it is to type it. Yes, fellas, I've been battling resignation for the past two weeks. Although I did do a few approaches, it was with noticeably more anxiety. I also made multiple excuses not to make quite SIMPLE approaches.

You know how after reflecting about something it feels like you’ve been there, done that a thousand times?

-____-


Honestly, I can see how dudes turn into game denialists. It’s the path of least resistance. BUT ITS NOT FOR ME. Hopefully it's not for any of you either. Now that I’ve caught this, I know the remedy. You don’t even have to say it. It’s time for me to start it all over again; this time more intelligently.


G_P

P.s. Current sticking point - not being willing to impose in order to open a girl. Or having a girl start to walk away as we're talking (usually when its still the banter stage) and persisting in insistance to stop her.

 

[Gentle_Phrases]

Got my second ever text response from daygame yesterday.

Still no response after I texted again today. Didn't expect it really. Time to delete that one.

On my night today.

I just went out for three hours and I weaseled my way out of doing a SINGLE approach. Unreal. On the plus side, I've found a great place for street night game. The only issue is that the groups are huge packs of 7 to 9 traveling together. I talked myself into believing that it would be impossible to stop anyone. Next week I'll definitely have to try it out. Tomorrow...I'll be daygaming for at least a few hours. I wont go home until 5 approaches.

 

[Gentle_Phrases]

So I've realized that I've reached the point where I'll open non-threatening targets. I.e. girls who I don't find incredibly stunning.

I must resolve to approach the hottest girl in the venue, where ever I am, whatever I'm doing. I'll come up with some sort of devious, horrendous punishment for not doing it. Maybe I'll read Jezebel for an hour or rub my eyeballs with a cheese grater or something. I don't know.

Now I think I know how dogs feel when they're tied on a leash and somebody walks by, teasing them with a scrumptious bone.

Tragic.

...

Woof.

 

[Gentle_Phrases]

Just did three sets - still out a kicking.

My third set- a charming, French styled lady, hooked immediately!!!! About 5 minutes into the conversation I ask for her number EVEN THOUGH HER DEMEANOR was SCREAMING instant date. She says, so sorry I have a boyfriend of multiple years - same as set number two.

Next time I will definitely push for a mini date

Whew.

Time to get back to work.

So exciting!

 

[Gentle_Phrases]

So I did 10 or 11 approaches in all tonight. About 3 "hooked." A very cute Brazilian girl who I nearly didn't approach gave me her phone number. She immediately and enthusiastically responded to my follow up text. Huzzah~!

I might write a field report about it tomorrow. I definitely experimented with some new stuff and it worked well. Again, I weaseled my way out of asking for an instant date (it would have worked perfectly). That's going to change.

BAM! Let's do it.

 

[Gentle_Phrases]

First-ever instant date from cold approach today. I'll put up a field report either today or tomorrow, depending on how soon I can tidy up some work.

Lifting in the A.M. is so much more efficient!

 

[Gentle_Phrases]

Confession - didn't game all last night (see my OR).

Also, I'm hanging on to this FR with the brazilian girl. Today's date couldn't work (my fault, not hers) and now I'm in scheduling hell. She has been responding to my texts very quickly though. Sometimes in seconds. Maybe I'm her new texting buddy.

-_____-

I did only two approaches today :/. I used indirect -direct (I told one girl I was "enamored," then told her she reminded me of Adam Sandler in "The water boy" hahahaha). Got both their numbers...We'll see where they lead. I have zero expectations. The girl I insta-dated for a nearly an hour two days ago ignored my message today.

Meh.

 

[Gentle_Phrases]

Went out for nearly 3 hours and only did 2 lame approaches while waiting for the Subway. I weasled my way out of maybe six other ones thanks to my wild rationalizations.

The approach on a sunny blonde starts off with her sneezing:

Opener

Her: Achoooo!!

Me: Bless you

Her: Thank you

Me: That always reminds me of the skit by Dane Cook

Her: Huh??????????

I go on to tell about the athiest Dane Cook joke where he says "God Doesn't Exist" to people who sneeze. The story I tell after that gets her giggling. I then go on to ask her about her favorite comedians. At one point, she seems to want to continue conversation, yet is at a loss for words. Another girl [brunette] overhears and helps us by telling the name of a comedianne. Brunette was the first girl that I'd opened. Brunette was reading a book and seemed rather finicky when I started convo so I ejected into the set with the sunny blonde after her sneeze since I found her attractive as well.

Looking back, this was actually a great performance because there were multiple people, including another woman, whom I found attractive, listening in on my game attempt. I distinctly remember a guy and an older woman eyeballing me as if to say "wow, you made her laugh. And you're still attempting to talk to her?" Holy hell. That's actually marvelous! Too bad I cheapened it by weaseling out of every street approach. Sigh.

Baby steps.


Intent

Me: Are you dutch?

Her: No, why?

Me: You struck me as having this very Dutch look. Maybe it goes far back in the genes!

Her: *Tilts her head* Awwww, thank you.

I wasn't sure what to make of this. In the moment it seemed very genuine, yet in retrospect it sounded like she was talking to a puppy...At this point the train arrives and she turns to get on. I'm taking the same ride, yet I never covered her logistics during our brief chat. I fumble the transition point by not blabbing about something trite and our interaction ends there. If I'd been chatting with a complete stranger I would have assumed it was over at that point as well.

Had I gone further and expressed which exact features I fancied...maybe this could have been salvaged. Who knows. NJ's article today was great for me to read.

So...maybe tonight wasn't entirely useless.


Huzzah!!

 

[Gentle_Phrases]

I went out and did more street night game for 3 hours. 5 approaches, 0 numbers. I was about to get one when the girl suddenly realized that she was older by small amount. She then said she was "sort of seeing someone." Based on her behavior up until that point, I assume that it was her auto-rejecting because of the discrepancy. I'll have to think of how to handle that (I'm certain Chase must have an article up).

I'm pleased with how I weaved in direct verbal game today. My kino still needs significant work. Both will have to be adjusted more over time. I'm considering writing field reports of the approaches...at the same time it doesn't seem useful since there wouldn't be much for others to learn from them. I think I'll stick to updating my personal journal and leave the next FR for a truly exceptional interaction.