BAM! Let's Do It

[Mr.Rob]

I used to send 3 page text messages and get novels back.

haha I used to send 3 pagers and get a "cool" back.

Then, I'd call girls and sit on the phone chatting about nothing for hours.

Been there done that one as well.

Thinking about game drives me nuts sometimes, Rob.

So I've noticed.

I rarely feel A.A. and rejection makes me lol; it's the lack of results in aggregate that makes me wince. Like wholly chit- 500 approaches for a date? Am I really prepared to do that again?

You see I don't get that feeling. Even before I was got laid off cold approach (took me 11 months) and was going out multiple days a week to meet women (though probably less volume than you due to size of city, and your a beast) and seemingly getting nowhere I was never to upset with my lack of results. I was content with just taking action and figured as long as I stayed in the race I'd get to a water cooler (sex) sooner or later.

Once you do get laid off cold approach and go out approaching again and then don't get laid for 4 months your going to be feeling bad about not getting results then too, so whats the diff?

Also, would it really be that bad if it took you 2- 2 and 1/2 years to get laid? I don't think it will take you that long but would it really be that bad, assuming you keep transforming into a stronger version of yourself (what I believe this shits really about)?

The reason I ask is because I get the feeling that you might be getting outcome dependent to get a result by getting upset over not having results, thus creating a cycle of death. Not saying this is the case, you know better than me, but just food for thought. I just want to see your first LR sooner rather than later homie!

-Rob

 

[Gentle_Phrases]

You see I don't get that feeling. I was content with just taking action and figured as long as I stayed in the race I'd get to a water cooler (sex) sooner or later.

The reason I ask is because I get the feeling that you might be getting outcome dependent to get a result by getting upset over not having results, thus creating a cycle of death. Not saying this is the case, you know better than me, but just food for thought.

-Rob

Hey Rob, thanks for pointing that out. Sometimes people are better at seeing our situation than we are when we're stuck in the middle of it - yet they won't say anything. I agree that I am in this cycle that you mentioned. I think this has robbed me some opportunities indirectly via over analysis, "over-gaming", or even some bitterness, sad to say.

Also, would it really be that bad if it took you 2- 2 and 1/2 years to get laid? I don't think it will take you that long but would it really be that bad, assuming you keep transforming into a stronger version of yourself (what I believe this shits really about)?

...No. My only concern is that I would quit cold approach before then. You've made a good point here. Basically, you think I need to just chill out? LOL..yeah..true. Kind of embarrassed now, actually. I'll be reflecting on this

 

[Gentle_Phrases]

I missed an escalation window (I think)

It's midnight, Sunday. I see a lithe blonde scramble out of a taxi in front of this swanky apartment building near some bars. She's barreling up the steps so I jump up from sitting on the curb and yell out to her just as she opens the door.

Me: Hey! Hey! Hold up! I just saw you a second ago I have to say hi
Her: *looks back, curious/pleasant expression*
Me: Your dressed pretty classy right now. I'm guessing you just came from high-brow event. Probably drinking white wine all evening?
Her: Hahaha, well kind of. I was out with some friends.
Me: Yes, I can tell that you were having fun. It seems like you still have some party left in the tank though.
Her: Well my friend lives in the burbs (suburbs) so she had to head on home. You know
Me: Oh yeah. That's the thing about the burbs. So far away, no fun. We'll have to get you back out again. Can't waste the night Smile
Her: haha, noo, noo I'm kind of tired. I gotta get up early blah blah blah
Me: You smile very brightly with your eyes *my genuine observation, her eyes were really smiling*
Her: *she looks away and her eyes roll up, I sense a little contempt in it, almost as if she's miming "kissass." I frown a little bit*
Me: Hey what's your name? *we exchange names and shake hands*

I look down at her legs and notice that they're very well developed. Not super muscular and ugly - firm and shapely. I cannot resist commenting on them because I find them that nice.

Me: Wow, you have very sexy legs. I love your calves. You must be a biker?
Her: *she nods, smiles* Yeah, actually I am. It's just genetic though - I didn't work for them. Actually I try not to work them out because I don't want them bigger!
Me: No, no, get them bigger! Make them huge! I'm so jealous. *I point out my small calves and pretend to whine about my struggles to develop them in the gym*
Me: See, I try in the gym a little
Her: *she nods approvingly* I can see that
Me: *did she just compliment me? YES!* But they just won't respond.
Her: hahahaha

I looked at her more closely. She's hot. I persist.

Me: Well the way I see it, you have two options. Either you could go to bed now and toss and turn all bored, wondering what you missed out on if we had hung out...or..you could come with me and have a little adventure.
Her: *she makes a jovial grimace as if weighing the options.*
Me: Here, let's just take a seat on the steps here a chat. Just for a sec.
Her: *to my surprise she smiles and immediately relents* Okay!

We chat for a few minutes (2 or 3), with mostly her talking. I grope one of her fingers once to check her nail polish, some light kino on the arm here and there. She tells me she doesn't like tattoos. I then suggest that our adventure be that she gets one tonight, "to remember our moment." I then get her chatting about a dream vacation.

Then, she just looks at me. I look back at her. Nothing is said for what feels like 10 seconds (it's maybe four in actuality). The thought crosses my mind "maybe she would be willing to move to a bar now? lol, what if I went for the make out?" I'm in my head calculating my next move when she suddenly jumps up and say "OKAY! Goodnight!!"

Me: Hey, wait a second!
Her: Nope, I gotta go!
Me: *something about adventure, we need to grab a drink, whatever*
Her: Nope sorry *she's smiling brightly and has one foot in the door to her apartment now*
Me: *persisting once more, she's not having it*
Me: Well then hey let's hang out another time, what's your number?
Her: You know where I live! *she smiles, shuts the door, walks in and away*

I was screwed anyway since I'm not old enough to drink. Couldn't bounce anywhere that would let me in, except maybe the convenience store, which I only realized much later. I did consider trying to ask her to let me in her apartment...but I just didn't think that would work. It was the same vibe as that one chick I held hands with until we got to her apartment..then she didn't want to "watch cartoons" with me hahaha . Still fun stuff.

 

[Mr.Rob]

Nothing is said for what feels like 10 seconds (it's maybe four in actuality). The thought crosses my mind "maybe she would be willing to move to a bar now? lol, what if I went for the make out?" I'm in my head calculating my next move when she suddenly jumps up and say "OKAY! Goodnight!!"

Yup I bet you missed the escalation window here. I also bet she felt when you got stuck in your head and were wondering "should I pull the trigger?" which could have made her leap up after the indecision.

25 makeout rejection mission! = no more wondering and just trigger pulling... just a thought

 

[Gentle_Phrases]

25 makeout rejection mission! = no more wondering and just trigger pulling... just a thought

Yeah, that's a good idea - will do

My Sticking Points

With help from Rob I've narrowed down a few of my sticking points:

1. I talk too much
2. I meander during conversation (transition from bamboozling statements/questions to banal chit chat rapidly)
3. I'm not "man to woman" enough so I come across as friendly rather than a roving, sexual threat


I'm going to take care to inject more pauses, resort to more normal/less try-hard conversation topics, and insert even more direct come ons to try and remedy the above issues.

Tonight's Labor

11 approaches
2 instant dates/moved the girl
1 phone number

 

[Mr.Rob]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ban1-umBhMI
lol RSD.

I think this is right up your alley G_P. Especially the part where he talks about using "what if/have you ever" (around 7:30 ish). This little technique seems like it could make a good way for YOU too better sexualize your interactions AND self amuse yourself. Seems like it would work into your style easy.

Your thoughts?

 

[Gentle_Phrases]

"Please, Lord, give me the strength to have sex with this wretched creature" LOL LOL LOL

Yeah, Rob - thanks for the share. Watched the whole thing. I'll use Julian's tips and report back on the results

 

[Gentle_Phrases]

Another Street Approach Audio


Check this out and throw me some feedback: https://soundcloud.com/gentle_phrases/n ... ch/s-xHG6U

I'll leave it a surprise as to whether or not we exchanged contact info at the end. This set was a good example of playful persistence, given the circumstances. It also represents how I interact with the girl in the vast majority of my sets. Be sure to read the description I attached underneath. Limited time only, in the interests of privacy.

 

[Gentle_Phrases]

Decided Im going ultra-hard tonight.

 

[Gentle_Phrases]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ban1-umBhMI
lol RSD.

I think this is right up your alley G_P. Especially the part where he talks about using "what if/have you ever" (around 7:30 ish). This little technique seems like it could make a good way for YOU too better sexualize your interactions AND self amuse yourself. Seems like it would work into your style easy.

Your thoughts?

Rob, I asked the girl I instant dated last night that EXACT scenario that Julien suggested.

Me: So what would you do if he pulled down his pants and had a microscopic weiner...what would you do? Would you leave or just deal with it?
Her: I would go through with it then tell my friends. *she looked at me to see my reaction. I think she was dead serious*
Me: Really? So you would fake the orgasm and the whole shebang? That's really cool of you..
Her: Yeap. Like always

I had the strong urge to make a joke like "Sweet! That means I'm getting laid tonight!" when she said that lol. I didn't though because it felt like I was getting too entertaining.


Results From Going Ultra-Hard

1 instant date and a fake phone number. I planned to do 20 approaches. Only 6 happened before the blues set in so I called it a night. Game is starting to feel like really bad acting.

 

[Gentle_Phrases]

In the Last Seven Days...

I've done 45 approaches.

Gone on 3 instant dates.

Gotten 5 phone numbers.

Received 2 responses to my initial text.

And was sent 0 replies after inviting them both out.

I've done 45 - 50 approaches a week for the past 3 weeks.


My New Game-Changing Realizations

I was sitting on the 40 minute subway ride to the city when this thought came to my mind.

I've figured it out. The reason I'm getting no results...is because people don't actually have sex. It's so obvious that I can't believe I missed it, duhhh. Humans actually reproduce asexually. I feel like I need to make a post in the beginners section to clear up everybody's misconceptions. I think this will really help with some of the guys with their sticking points.

I laughed out loud and everyone in the car stared at me.

I also thought of posting this in the beginners section:

I've also found that whipping your dick out dramatically increases your hook rate during day game, even if you go indirect. The secret is to be fully flaccid when you do it, preferably in a mad crowded area. It really shows the girl just how outcome independent you are - a key facet of true seduction. (?)

Anyway, on a serious note on Saturday night I got a kiss on the cheek and a pat on the back so hells yeah man! I didn't even have to go on a date for that

 

[Gentle_Phrases]

Fundamentals Check

Chase had this great interview with The Dating Skills Podcast way back..maybe a year ago. I've been repeatedly listening to it for a few months now, just to brainwash myself. Here's the link: http://www.datingskillsreview.com/ep-42 ... se-amante/

Every time I listen to it, something different jumps out at me. Here's what Chase said that resonated with me this evening:

[Chase Amante]: Exactly. The main thing with fundamentals that these do, most attraction, a lot of guys talk about creating attraction and building attraction, but from everything I've seen, attraction mostly is either there or it isn't there, and what that's based on is your fundamentals. If you come in with very good fundamentals, attraction more likely than not will be there from the very beginning that allows you to move much more quickly. If your fundamentals are not handled, attraction’s a lot less like they could be there and you're going to have much more of an uphill slog.

[Chase Amante]: Yeah, absolutely. One of the interesting things that I have seen, I don’t do so much personal coaching myself, but I used to do more personal coaching and more seminars from time to time, and every now and then you'll get these guys who are really hard cases, the guys that have been studying pickup for five or more years and they’ve done thousands of approaches, they're no slouches, and they just can't break this barrier and they can't start getting great results despite the sheer huge volumes of time they put into it. And what I see again and again, it's always the same thing with these guys. Their focus is totally on learning game and the right things to say to women, and they don’t seem to understand that, yeah, the things that you say are important, but the person who’s saying those things are much more important because that's what she's paying attention to. And there's a lot you can do with your person, but these guys don’t usually work on that. They pick some peacocking clothes that stand out, and usually that's about the limit of what they work on when there's a lot more that they can do.

I'm rapidly becoming that "thousand approaches and zero results" guy. That's a fact. I thought hard - very hard - about whether or not I have good enough fundamentals to attract a woman. I know what my most apparent flaws are: monotone voice, wooden face, could use some more muscle mass, decent posture but a little "stiff" at times when uncomfortable, and talking too much. Okay. Does that explain over 500 "no's" though? You'd think that I'd stumble my way to the finish line by now but I haven't. I think the average guy would have by now. This means that my fundamentals must be MUCH worse than I thought (i.e. "below average"). I'm going to go over the fundamentals section in the e-book again then grind my balls with sandpaper and cry bitter tears about how life's not fair before doing my next round of approaches.

 

[Gentle_Phrases]

Walked another girl to her apartment. This time I got a hug and a kiss on the cheek before parting ways. I went for the make out and was totally denied hahahaha. Still got her number but I don't expect any text response. Much better than three weeks ago when I was outside a girl's apartment and failed to even try for the make out. Even better still than a month or two ago when I held hands with a girl all the way back to her place, then failed to even ask for digits or go for a peck on the cheek (though I did try to weasel my way in hahahahaha).

Also, I got a ride from a chick today but failed to escalate at all physically - I only did so verbally. It was really odd - I have to reflect on that one.

 

[Gentle_Phrases]

New Reference Experience

I got my first make out/kiss ever during day game today. It's funny how similar this girl was to another one that I had approached just a week prior, even in terms of clothing. I used the lessons from that approach last week and the ones from the interaction in the post above in order to do better here. We had a 2 hour instant date, during which I moved her to multiple locations and we were kissing here and there. I kissed her before suggesting the instant date actually - maybe 10-15 minutes into conversation. She rejected kissing twice initially.

I kept it light though and tried to shy away from too much PDA (which was hard because the initial approach and kiss were actually done in a crowded subway terminal by the pay stations with people going in and out and also a large family loitering right next to us. Their underage daughter caught the whole thing and the look on her face when I turned around was priceless). I was searching for a seduction location hand in hand with this girl but there were literally none and she had to catch a bus for work. Anyway, first text I got from her an hour after we parted ways:

I can't wait to kiss your lips again.

And to think, last night (or rather 3:00am this morning) I was writing a 1,000+ word post about how it was/is time for me to quit the game and thanking everyone for their help (kid you not). Thank goodness I am unhealthily persistent and/or mentally unbalanced: I've actually written several very long, detailed "I quit" essays and trashed them all. Believe it or not, I feel a sort of "release" by doing this and oddly enough every single occurrence has been followed by a new significant experience in my game. I wasn't ever faking it though. I really wanted to say F- THIS each time! So if you're feeling down maybe you could try writing out how much you hate the game and want to quit and why, etc? Every time I start angry and bitter then end up convincing myself that..wait...this is possible, I just have a lot of catching up to do.

Main Lesson Learned

Judging by the vibe of this interaction and certain commonalities I've noticed...I bet there were maybe 2 or 3 girls in the last 100 approaches that I could have done the SAME EXACT THING with. I just didn't have the gonads to pull that trigger back then and especially without any overt signals (she never gave me "eyes" or whatever). I was just like, "hm...I get the vague sense that I've been here before but I've never really pushed it. Let's see what happens!" Great reference experience.

Lol, think I've earned a rest day tomorrow.

 

[BarryS1]

Hey GP, awesome report about making out with the girl!

And to think, last night (or rather 3:00am this morning) I was writing a 1,000+ word post about how it was/is time for me to quit the game and thanking everyone for their help (kid you not). Thank goodness I am unhealthily persistent and/or mentally unbalanced: I've actually written several very long, detailed "I quit" essays and trashed them all. Believe it or not, I feel a sort of "release" by doing this and oddly enough every single occurrence has been followed by a new significant experience in my game. I wasn't ever faking it though. I really wanted to say F- THIS each time! So if you're feeling down maybe you could try writing out how much you hate the game and want to quit and why, etc? Every time I start angry and bitter then end up convincing myself that..wait...this is possible, I just have a lot of catching up to do.

I just had one of those "oh shit" moments about quitting PUA. For the first time in my lift, I got threatened by a girl to call security. I was like, "Wow, I lost my cool. Maybe this actually IS weird." After writing my thoughts down (like you did) in my journal, it cleared everything up. I still don't know what they mean by outcome independent. Are they talking about "in the moment" or after reflecting a couple hours later?

 

[Chase]

Nice going, GP. Sounds like you made some day game magic with that gal. Once you've got all the pieces in place you're going to be a machine.

Writing things out when you're feeling negatively emotional is tremendously useful. Especially if you go through several drafts on something. Usually your first draft is messy and rambly. The next draft is a little bit more coherent and sharp. The one after that is just clarity through and through, and you see what you're arguing and where the emotions are coming from. Lots of times you see the holes in your sentiments too (especially if you save the document in its most polished, straightforward form, sleep on it, then read it again the next day with a fresh set of eyes), which is liberating.

Anytime you've got anything rolling around in your head bugging you, in fact - a list of things you've got to do; some bad emotions that you need to get out; a good idea you're still trying to fully flesh out - write them down. Then read them later. Do the things you've got to do, and understand the emotions you've got to understand. Works wonders.

Chase