BDSC

[Sophisticated Gent]

I did what I consider a significantly dominate thing today with J. Early Monday morning she emailed me and said she couldn't make lunch because of a meeting and she was going to have to work through lunch. We set up to go today.

So this morning she emails me

I’m sorry this week is just not working out for me. (A company) is here for lunch and learns till Friday, I’m afraid I cannot get out of this. Plus it’s putting me behind on my daily stuff.

Once things quite down for me up here, I’ll grab ya for lunch.

Sorry,
Jess

This is two times flaking so it hurt some. I know they are valid reasons but. I decided to wait to respond to so I could calm down and to make her wonder what I am think. I wait about 1 1/2 hours and respond.

You are going to have to figure out a way to make this up to me. Lunch is not going to cut it.

Instead of saying it was ok or I understand I put her on the defensive to make it up to me. I figure I am going to find out where I really stand with her. She could tell me to fuck off or she could come back submissively. I guess we will see.

 

[Sophisticated Gent]

Latest weight is 342.4 lbs. This is 49.6 lbs lost. I am wearing 54" waist pants today which are 4" smaller than when I started the diet.

The email to Jess went bad. She replied and basically moved me to asshole and buddy status. So I did what we are not supposed to do and took her a peace offering of hot chocolate and a granola bar. This fixed the asshole issue but now I have to up the dominate male to let her know we are not buddies. We will be going to lunch again. This is when I will amp up. Just to clarify, I like Jess but there is no emotional connection for me. She is part of my learning process. I am learning how to be dominant without being an asshole. I know the investment is higher on my part then hers but I am ok with this since it is part of my education.

 

[ray_zorse]

Hey mate, 4" is a great achievement. Some years back I was doing an internship in Japan and created my current diet, in 2mth I also lost 4" and had to buy a new belt. I felt fantastic about this, but unfortunately on my return to Aussie I gained it all back, just comfort eating due to loneliness and conflict in my life caused by trying to cooperatively parent with an aggressive manipulative bitch. I had been separated for 4mth or so when I went to JP and it was pretty cooperative except for her manipulative behaviour in e.g. calling me on the phone at work, crying over the phone and demanding I come and do handyman work for her and then denigrating my work later and demanding I leave and so forth -- but the shit hit the fan and she showed her true colours when I got a new girlfriend in JP whom I loved quite a lot, my wife was jealous and started refusing access to kids, making accusations of violence etc, I fell into a depression and had difficulty concentrating on work for a year or so which is why I gained the weight back. BUT I recently realized how effective my diet is, I rotate between soups, salads and stir fries (so that the boredom of eating only vegetables and protein doesn't get insanely bad) and have fruit snacks, generally eat about 5000kJ a day. In JP I was eating relatively normally in the evenings (pub food w my girlfriend and lots of drinks 3~4 times a week) so I did not shed as fast as I could have, but still it went well. Now I'm ultra serious, my binge on Wed only made me more determined. Amortizing the effects of the binge over 8 days I ate an average 6700 kJ per day or 1600 calories. Just stepping on scale now... 90.8 kg, okay I lost >2kg this week, is that even possible or is it random variation/measurement error... whatever, I feel good. Killed a lower body workout yesterday with my trainer and my legs and ass are as stiff and sore as hell. Awesome. Keep up the good work man and lets continue to compare notes. As to J I think your email was a bit extreme but overall okay, however you should have held your frame and not cracked to her drama.
Ray

 

[Sophisticated Gent]

Ray,

I read that you broke up with your GF. Get out and chase. Do the workouts and diet. You will feel better about yourself. Sorry your marriage went so bad. I am jealous that you have been to Japan and slept with some of the women there. I find them to be very feminine which is a major turn on.

Regarding J I have it figured out that she is regularly shit testing me in different ways. The work load was possible a shit test but it could have been legit at least partially. A couple of types she has mentioned that one of the other guys grabs her for lunch. He is her buddy. I am not her buddy and I will make this abundantly clear. She also mentions bring one of the coworkers wot lunch with her sometime. I totally ignored this. I really think she is seeing if I am strong enough to be her lover. WIth her being married I am sure she wants to make sure she is not making a mistake with the wrong guy.

My plan is first to not appear anxious to go out again. I think I will wait skip next week then ask her to lunch. Make we wonder what I am up to. Second when we go out I am going to do something like this.

In the parking lot at the restaurant away from any potential coworkers.

Me: I have a something to tell you. Come over here and I will tell you.
(wait for her to comply)
Me: It is a secret so I have to whisper. (I get close to her and very sexually whisper) You are a damn sexy woman. (Pause the whisper) We are definitely not buddies. (I will lean closer like I am going to kiss her and then pull back, change demeanor and say let's go get some food. I plan on escalating and de-escalating the sexual touching and talk throughout the lunch. I am going to suggest to her we should take off the rest of the day and go have some fun. If she is up for it awesome but I expect her to say no because it will be obvious at work we took the afternoon off together. When we get close to work I will drive past our work waiting for her to protest. When she does I will make her a deal that if we take off a day together I will take her back to work. Hopefully I can pull of the day off. Of course this could all go south at anytime. I will have to maintain a dominate vibe while letting her know I am looking out for her interest. She is very smart and mature. I am not worried about any flakiness you get with younger women. If she doesn't like what I am doing she will tell me.

Yes I know I am investing a lot in this but I am having fun doing so. I am also learning how to read women better. I am learning to recognize signs and subtle shit test. I am also learning how to react.

 

[Seppuku]

Hey SG,

Interesting developments. Yes, she could be very well trying to frame you as a friend. If you give in, you're done. Also, try to game other girls as well. If she's the only one, you will attach her more importance and risk coming across as needy. If you have two more girls you're gaming you're more outcome independent, and things come much more naturally.

Good idea not to look anxious and wait. And take time to bring more girls in the loop. Outcome independence.

Not sure about your deal "day off vs. back to work". Looks like a bit too much gamey to me. Would propose the day off during conversation as smoothly as possible like a no big deal thing. Or just throw the idea then switch to some other topic, then later come back to the day off idea. These days I like to plant an idea in her mind, then let it grow, then come back when the fruit is ripe. OK man, your call.

On another note, I was also in a bad marriage for years (in reference to Ray, not saying your marriage is bad). I was also scared of doing things by fear of losing the world I had built around me, like my children and the bond I have with them. In my case, the divorce put an end to all this. Now I have no one to ask permission or approval from.

OK looking forward to read you.

Cheers,
Seppuku

 

[Sophisticated Gent]

Seppuku thanks. There are several other women I am working on. Logistic and timing are tough but eventually something will break. With J I am tiring of the situation. If things don't go smooth I am Nexting her. I like the letting things sink in idea. I use it on my wife at times and it works.

Update on weight, 51.4 pounds loss. I did a heavy workout on Saturday. I continue to increase the levels.

 

[Sophisticated Gent]

I had a weird experience this weekend that I feel the need to put in the journal. Saturday morning I was going to get up at 8:00 am to go work out. For some reason I woke up at around 7:00 am. This imaged situation kept going though my mind that was there when I woke. It was like my subconscious lapse over into my conscious state. I never had this happen before. I have woke up and remembered dreams but this was different. Ok so that is different but it continues. The scenario in my brain is that J from work and I are going to lunch together. When I get to the front door she is there with other people to go to lunch with. This was not part of our arrangement. I am not happy and I make an excuse that something came up and I can't go. This is the end of the scenario. The weird part is I now feel like this was an actual situation and I have rejected her in my mind. I feel like she has played too many games and I don't have time for the games. It is so weird because this didn't happen but my brain says I am done with her. I have lost the desire to pursue her any further. There was very little emotional investment with her for me anyway. It was about the getting sex. Is this how you guys feel about the women you approach that don't work out? It is like, whatever, and onward to the next woman. Is it like that with the ones you have sex with? No emotional investment?

Seppuku
If I leave my wife I will be cutting of a major portion of my social group. Even if I am bedding women I am concerned I will be lonely. I have never lived alone. How do you handle being on your own? Are you satisfied with the occasional interaction with ladies? I don't want to become one of those characters in Billy Joel's Piano Man.

 

[Seppuku]

Hey SG,

Interesting. In my opinion it's worth pursuing it through to the end with J, it could still be a positive surprise, and otherwise you will know for sure and no regrets. Yes, it's how I feel when it does not work out. For the ones I have sex with... Depends. Some of them, I want to have more sex with. Some, I don't. Some, I get to really like (Elisa, Olivia...). Some, no (Anna). There is always at least a little bit of involvement.

Be on my own... Yes I'm very comfortable being on my own, but I guess it's a question of character. Occasional interactions: there is a lot of satisfaction to think that, if I really want it, I can get laid soon. New thing for me, it was completely different before my marriage, I was the BF nice guy sort of. Got a girl, stayed with her for many months. Then sometimes alone one full year before getting the next. Now my focus is on getting the girlfriend I really want to be with, and getting relationship terms more favorable to me. I really like what this author has to say on relationships: http://www.francoseduction.com/manual-seduction-husbands-single-men-playboys-2011/ (not the same Franco as in these boards). Worth a good read really.

Cheers,
Seppuku

Disclaimer: I don't advocate divorce unless last resort, just saying that it was the right decision in my case.

 

[Sophisticated Gent]

Update on weight lose, 54 lbs weighing 338 lbs.

 

[Sophisticated Gent]

Update on weight lose, 56 lbs weighing 336 lbs.

 

[Sophisticated Gent]

Update on weight lose, 58 lbs weighing 334 lbs.

I guess I earned my first bad boy strip today. On Saturday to my surprise A at the gym talked to me. I was walking past her and said hi A. She smile and we talked for a while. She gave me a full update on her work schedule and told me her birthday is Friday. She said she will me 18. I said then you will be legal. She said yes. We talked a little longer and I went back to working out. I know she is hot to go out with me. I decided today I would ask her out.

So I went over to where she works and she came over all happy to see me. After a little chit chat

Me: I want to ask you out but I have to tell you something first. I am married.
She is surprised but not put off like I expected
A: You are a bad person.
Me: Yes and I smile.
A: Where is your wife?
Me: at home. She doesn't want to work out. So I wanted to be honest with you. You can think about it.
A: Ok.
Me: I am going to get back to working out. Bye. (And I walk off)

My take away. She did not say no. She was surprised but didn't freak out. I am sure she will talk to her friends about this. I will give her a few days and approach again. We will see. One thing I noticed is that she is cuter up close. Usually it is the other way around.

SGent

 

[ray_zorse]

DUDE!! Whatever happens it does not matter, YOU PULLED THE TRIGGER. What matters is you are being the best man you can possibly be. I'm so fucking proud of you man.
Ray

 

[Sophisticated Gent]

Thank Ray. I still find it hard to believe that a cute 18 girl has the hots for a 56 year old bald guy with gray hair and i'm way overweight. I am becoming a believer. Another example of a woman paying attention to me follows. Saturday at the gym there is one of the ladies that works out who has this amazing body and pretty face. I would guess she is late 20s to 30. She is working out with her significant other. He is chasing her and she does not look pleased. (I would not have noticed this before GC.) So we make eye contact. I know she has seen me before but this is the first time she has held eye contact. So I get on a machine and she gets on one in front of me. This happens 3 times. Every time she does a set she gets up and stretches right in front of me. If she would have been obvious I would have thought she was trying to get the guy jealous. She was not and he was totally clueless. This is awesome. She is giving me a show of her fine body while her boyfriend stands there totally oblivious. I have had women flirt with me in the past but I have never had women chase me this hard. It will be interesting to see where i can go with the babe. The point of this is that women are definitely taking notice of me since I have step up my fundamentals. I am amazed by how right GC is.

SGent

 

[Sophisticated Gent]

I went out to lunch today with one of the guys. I walk up to the counter at the fast food place (they have some healthy foods too). I haven't been in the place in like 3 months. The cashier is the manager who is a middle 30s african american lady and knows me from past visits. She say, "Wow look at this guy. He looks nice." I felt like she wanted to come over the counter and rub on my chest. That was awesome. A public compliment from a lady. I am starting to really feel attractive to the ladies. I can't wait until I have lost all the weight. Watch how ladies. Here I come.

Thanks to all the guys for the advice. What a difference.

 

[Seppuku]

Hey SG,

Can you describe what you did to improve your fundamentals?

Seppuku

 

[Sophisticated Gent]

Fundamental changes.

1. Dress - I changed from wearing Polos,jeans and white leather tennis shoes to Chino, button up shirts and drew saddle shoe black base with brown saddle. I wear color contrast like khaki color pants and dark shirt with tan jacket or black pants with white checkered shirt and tan jacket. The day I bought the shoes I went to a local factory outlet mall. As I was walking through the mall an attractive lady was walking towards me. She actually turned her head the other way to avoid eye contact. I thought that sucks. I looked to the side and saw my reflection in a store window. I thought to myself "I look like a slob". I had on baggy faded jeans, light color polo shirt and tennis shoes. Right at that moment I said I have to change this.

https://www.ghbass.com/product/drew+sad ... ks&from=fn

2. I shaved off my moustache that I had since high school. I keep my hair groomed even though I don't have much.

3. I lost 58 lbs so far with more to go.

4. I do the sexy walk. I have always had pretty good posture but I have adapted Chases sexy walk.

5. I am working on using the sexy smile more often.

6. My attitude has changed. I have the attitude that women want me. It may sound crazy but when you think that way it comes across to the women.

7. I have changed deodorants to an attractive scent. I used to use no scent. This may be minor but with my allergies it takes a while.

8. Eye contact. I always had pretty good eye contact. I am now working on the more advanced movements like when to look away and how to look away.

Now I am working on improving the eye contact, using a sexy voice with woman, being more charismatic and losing weight/building muscle. The charismatic includes being convicted and not caring. I have the friendship part down pretty well.

The results have been amazing so far. Women I have known for years are all of a sudden giving me a lot of attention.

 

[Seppuku]

It all make sense and sounds pretty good! All very promising. I went through the same, more or less. I had already addressed more or less the following before I started on the field last year.

1. Dropped the beach bermuda and sandals. For some time I was in suits / blasers with Lacoste polo. Then when I worked on attainability, I dressed less sophisticated, shoes, trousers, elegant tee shirt / polo and leather jacket, with sunglasses. Makes me younger and more attainable.

2. Went from BMI 30 to BMI 25.

3. Dropped the funny stuff (my former entertainer style), stopped smiling all the time, dropped the large ear to ear grin. Instead, now slow sexy smiling as a reward, sometimes serious expression to build tension then release with slow smile. It's now coming naturally.

4. Worked on sexy voice. Use it whenever possible. The words say whatever, but the tone of the voice says "sex!". I also use whispering.

I will definitely try your "I think all women want me".
Cheers!
Seppuku

 

[ray_zorse]

Just chiming in here, firstly Seppuku I've been buying some different seduction resources lately, the Franco Seduction recommended by you is very good and also I've been reading Swingcat's book which was recommended by Chase in the most recent newsletter. (If you buy this, it costs only $1, just be careful to read the fine print and send the email to cancel your seduction academy subscription immediately after, otherwise your Visa/Mastercard will be charged $100 per month). To be honest my inner game has been a bit shit lately, and as recommended by Swingcat, I needed to focus a bit more on the fact I'm the prize and ALL girls want me (or they're slow learners) and continually hammer this into my brain rather than nervously trying to attract girls' attention... I also have been examining my walk in recent weeks, I realized I looked very tense/uptight/not relaxed so I've added shoulder swing and more of a saunter and I'm MUCH happier with it. So now to the point -- about fundamentals -- I believe your #1 important fundamental is eye contact. Honestly it's something I have a lot of trouble with. So firstly you need to concentrate on creating a bubble and never breaking circle. But secondly you really need to drill her with that eye contact while you exchange small talk (obviously with a friendly manner/slight smile etc) and add some pauses, I did this last night with a girl I met in the market. Funnily enough my gf was trying on some stuff just nearby but I'm not sure the girl I approached realized that (it seemed to be an IOI -- we caught each other's attention and then she came up near me so of course I opened). The interaction itself was only so-so, my conversation was a bit boring and I missed a chase-frame opportunity, BUT the eye contact made up for it. I really recommend to try this. I got onto it from a recommendation of Radeng -- he suggested as a temporary measure I stop touching girls and sexually/chase framing and focus ONLY on my body fundamentals as a means of attraction, and results tanked for the first month BUT THEN LEAPT!
Ray

 

[Seppuku]

Hey Ray,

Congratulations to the future once again daddy . Yes, the Manual of Seduction by Franco is very good. It says essentially the same as in GC but still manages to bring a new perspective and insights. I'm starting to read some other writings by the same author. I will give a shot to this book from Swingcat. Is it "Real World Seduction"? Eye contact... My initial attempts last year seemed very powerful stuff, but true, I haven't developed further that way. You're right, will add it to my game.

Cheers
Seppuku

 

[Sophisticated Gent]

I had my regular doc appointment. I have officially lost 58 pounds. Everything is great.

A wasn't at the gym yesterday so hopefully tomorrow I will get to ask her out.

I am been thinking about getting a burner phone to keep the ladies in. I don't want them in my regular phone. Two issues are that I don't want them in the phone and calling my phone that is on the family account. Second is my wife's name comes up on caller ID when I call someone because her name is on the account.

As far as I am concerned things with J at work are done. I called her Tuesday to see if she wanted to go to lunch. She was rude and sounded mad. I don't need that kind of crap.

I need to work on being able to go with the flow. At the doctor's office on yesterday I was hoping one of the cute assistance I have flirted with before would be there. After I had my visit I walked out of the exam room and around a corner. The hottest nurse there and I almost walked into each other. We both said excuse me and the she opens with how are you doing with a big smile and strong eye contact. I just say great and how are you. I continue on my way. I was in my head looking for this other girl and missed an opportunity with the nurse. Dumb, the assistant is a 7 while the nurse is a HB9. She is one of the type of women I want to target. Hopefully I will be able to see her the next time I visit the doc in April. I have got to be more into my surrounding.