Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

[Científico]

Not letting myself stay in due to my job-related blues or the high amount of flakes I've had this week, I went out today and yesterday on daygame missions. Here are the wrap-ups:

Yesterday:
6 approaches in my local neighborhood (overall lower quality targets), no blowouts (girl always stopped and listened), but no hooks or numbers

Today:
7 total approaches in a better area with much hotter women, 5 blowouts (very high compared to average), 1 hook, no numbers.

Succumbed to AA a few times, preventing me from making it to my planned 10 before the sun went down. The worst part was the AA I got that prevented me from approaching easily the hottest girl I saw all weekend - she was wearing tight leggings that showed off a perfect lower half, and a jean vest on her upper half with sunglasses and red lipstick. She was a total knockout, and I could only watch her walk past due to the massive AA that hit me at that moment.

The highlight was of course the one that hooked - she was an attractive italian woman standing just outside of a store with lots of children inside. I was walking by, we made eye contact and I immediately approached without hesitation. This is problably part of the reason why she hooked - I cant be sure, but I sense that at least some of the blowouts were due to the fact that I hesitated before approaching in some cases. A MAN MUST APPROACH IMMEDIATELY. I was thinking - but what if she turns out not to be as hot as you thought she was? Then I realized just how silly this fear is. If that happens, one can just eject, or use it as practice set.

This italian woman laughed at my jokes, and started asking me about what I do, where I am from (hook point). After several minutes I tried to number close but she told me "I am a married woman". I respond "I dont want to be your husband" but to no avail.

Tomorrow will do more daygame approaches, and maybe some dancing to try to get numbers the old fashioned way. Also have a potential bumble date. Then will hit the ground running on Monday to try to regain some momentum at work.

 

[Científico]

Today had a date with a petite woman of turkish origin. Met her at a meetup group, and initially didn't notice her that much thus didn't bother to get her number or ask her out - the way she dresses intentionally, or unintentionally, doesn't call attention to her - it's always a scruffy pair of jeans, plain top, and a mass of wild, unkempt curly hair.

Then I saw her again at a dancing event. Turns out, she must have the exact same interests as me to turn up at two completely different events that I also go to. This made me notice her - thus I got her number, texted a bit, asked her out and she accepted, suggesting we meet for tea today before a dancing event, or also suggesting this weekend as an alternative. Since I am away this weekend (going to Mexico to give my lady friend there some loving attention, believe it or not), I accept her first idea and formulate a plan in my mind to go with a two-date model instead of a one-date pull model.

The dancing event she is going to is not my favorite style of dance, thus I make it clear I wont join her for the dancing and will stick to the tea. She shows up in exactly the same plain clothes as always - but I do get some time to look at her, and it's quite clear that underneath that clothing is actually a great little body with fantastic hips/curves. If she took time to doll herself up, she would be a stunner for sure.

She ends up staying with me for longer than anticipated (till after the other event had started). My touch routine was not being explicitly rejected, but also not reciprocated at all. So, I calibrated and played it cool, limiting the physical escalation and only doing very light verbal escalation. Seeded the next date by talking about a turkish drink she mentioned when I got her number, and left her with a two-cheek kiss I now borrow from Spain as a standard goodbye with women I'm attracted to.

I'm convinced the two-date model can work sometimes, especially when the logistics for the first date are bad and/or the woman seems like she will need more time before a pull attempt. I need to keep experimenting a bit. Also thinking some fluff texts in between the initial ice breaker text and the scheduler text may help build rapport with women - Chase's texting guide is a good guide after all, but I think it doesn't do enough to explain the importance of flirting over text, a least a little bit. This girl is a good example of that, as well as another I met Sunday that I currently have on the pipeline.

 

[Científico]

Haven’t updated in a week or so, only because the work stress has been absurd, and I am just returning from a trip to México in which I gave lots of love to my very special lady there - the only real mLTR I have going at the moment.

Work stress has also been absurd the past week - I just left Mexico recharged (and with empty balls), thus ready to tackle the upcoming challenge of righting the ship there and making sure I am successful at my job. This really takes priority over game and dating at the moment.

But of course, sometimes Game finds you. On my first flight back I happened to sit next to a very cute American girl coming back from Mexico. She hooked when I opened, and was super happy to talk to me. However, I decided not to escalate or get any contact info because she was going somewhere else than me...now I kinda regret it. The strong eye contact and big smiles from her made me think I could have escalated, maybe even done a super-fast escalation like I did with the Colombian back in January. The problem is that most IOIs from women are not as blatant as hers.

How to read signals from women on where your escalation window actually is and when to actually pull the trigger is still a big challenge. I suppose the only way to find out is to try, and fail, until the feedback from reality teaches me. I have to get into the habit of just doing it more often, and ignoring the weasel in my brain that constantly comes up with excuses. The excuse today was: why bother if she lives so far away? Which seemed logical, but then you realize that that isn’t necessarily an obstacle in some cases. the worst that can happen is rejection.

 

[Científico]

Finally starting to let myself relax after a very packed several days post-Mexico weekend.

Obviously as I have mentioned the last several posts, my work is a big focus at the moment as I have to address some mistakes I've made recently with the new job. But I have a chance to correct things and I intend to work hard to achieve that - this is simply a job I cannot afford to lose right now, as it would mean turning my entire career upside down. Often times this means that seduction, daygame, and dating take a back seat. Last night I got home after 7 pm and couldn't do anything substantive, passing out before 10 pm! One thing you realize with a job like mine - the parallels between sales and pick-up/dating are actually quite numerous....

However, tomorrow is light, and I have a weekend coming up in which I don't have any real plans - thus I can take some time tonight to ping some leads I had going last week, then in the weekend possibly go on dates, do daygame, and plan other social activities.

Interestingly, I also the other day got contacted by a woman I met about 9-10 years ago salsa dancing, who now runs a matchmaking company and is offering to set me up on dates with women for free. Why not? We'll see how that goes.

Since I started to keep track of my daygame approaches, and the responses from women, about one month ago, I have some stats to analyze - the total number of approaches I have done the past month sits at 50, which is very low for a beginner. Tom Torero (whose stuff I have been following lately), suggests 30-50 a week for a beginner, which is 120 to 200 per month. I'm not sure if I can actually achieve that number right now, but maybe can bump up my number closer to 80-100 per month instead of 50. Its just that in my local neighborhood the quality and volume of women I want to approach is nowhere near where it is if I go downtown into the city. I need to make more committed day game trips on Saturdays and Sundays at least, and do 10 those days, to get to 80 per month - with a sprinkling of weekday trips when I can.

In terms of the responses from women, the rough breakdown is:
50% - girl listens to sales pitch, but does not hook.
40% - complete blowouts, girl doesn't even bother to stop/listen and continues on her way.
10% - girl listens, hooks, and I often get the phone number.

So, 1/10 approaches are successful - about where a beginner should be according to TT. My plan is to add whatever stats this weekend to my "March" dataset, then start a brand new one for April. Hopefully - over time - I will see an upwards trend in the number of "hooks".

 

[Científico]

Fairly productive day yesterday,:

First, I went into the city and did a proper daygame session of 10 approaches. I was on a role - #1 was a number close, as was #3. But the rest were either blowouts or level 2 rejections (girl listens to sales-pitch but does not hook, husband nearby, whatever). Still, I was quite pleased - two numbers is good progress for me. One never replied, while the other was replying yesterday but seems to have fizzled out as of today.

Second, yesterday I reached a brand new milestone: first day ever in which I had two women in my apartment in the same day, and both of them left me with blueballs (no sex)

The first was a date I got from Bumble. I did a single venue date plan in which we met at a wine bar, drinks were flowing, and then I suggested the bounce home which she agreed to (after some minimal sexual/physical escalation at the venue). However once home - massive LMR I could not overcome, lots of complaints about it being too fast, and that she was hungry and I had no food for her, etc. Note to self: always have an array of snacks and food for women at home.

This is at least the third time in recent memory of a date from online sources, in which I try to escalate for a first-date lay and fail. Somehow, I always get pushed into the boyfriend category and pushing too fast is always leading to buyers remorse in these women. Not sure why. I need to adjust my strategy somehow, try a two-venue date, or even make it sexual during the messaging before the date even happens.

After this, I decide to go out to a salsa venue, and there I run into a petite MILF who I had some sexual chemistry with and who I had made out with before (but whose name I couldn't remember at first) - when I suggested the bounce back at about 1 - 1:30 am, she agreed, getting into her car and following me home. But....yet again, LMR I could not overcome, even in the morning after she spent the night. She kept telling me she doesn't sleep with people who don't remember her name. I took her out for brunch then sent her on her way - not a high priority target at this point.

Funny and tragic at the same time. But mostly just funny. I don't even care that much - I truly am only interested in these women for sex, and there are plenty of others like them. I just need to continue honing my strategy to actually get sex rather than getting this ridiculous LMR everytime they are here.

 

[ElderPrice]

Nice update! You're doing a great job getting them home. To crack this LMR problem, could you provide a general description of what you do / what happens once they're back at your place?

 

[Científico]

A little while since my last update, only because, as anyone reading this journal can expect, the job has taken up most of my mental and physical energies the past few weeks.

First I'll address ElderPrice's comment below:

Nice update! You're doing a great job getting them home. To crack this LMR problem, could you provide a general description of what you do / what happens once they're back at your place?

Thank you my friend for your comment. One thing I dont have yet is a consistent plan for what to do once they are back here. I always put on music, either house music (for all the non-dancers) or some bachata (for the dancers). With these two particular women, I did the following:

Petite milf: I bring her back, put on bachata music, and attempt to escalate while dancing with her. Did not work, wouldn't even kiss back that much. We go to my bed, LMR persists, until I give up and go to sleep. Next morning she is a bit more receptive (kisses) but still wont fuck.
Bumble girl: Put on house music, have her throw some of darts to my dart board, pour her a glass of wine, then go in for the kiss (which she reciprocates). Attempts to escalate further are blocked. I then move her out to the balcony, kiss her some more out there, then bring her back in to watch a film. LMR persists.

To be honest with you Elder, I think the problems here may not stem from my actions once back at home, but instead from improper foundations during dates/before the bounce home. I think the escalation needs to be bit more calibrated before the bounce back. Let me know if you agree.

Second, like I mentioned in the first sentence, the job has taken up most of my energies in April so far and I have done almost no work at all generating new dating leads. Lucky for me, a few leads I thought were dead did come back out of nowhere, and I'm currently engaging in some text game to try to get them out.

Recently, I've been thinking that Chase's "14 Simple Ways To Text a Girl" post, while useful in its templates, may in fact be slightly incorrect in its focus on ONLY sending some very specific texts to get a woman out on a date. I think it may in fact be very important to engage in SOME light/playful banter over text with a woman you are interested in, between the icebreaker text and scheduler text, to show her you have a fun personality and you can tease her/break rapport. Not overdoing it of course, but I think in the end this may make her more likely to go out. Currently with the two leads that resurfaced I am experimenting with this a bit more.

Tomorrow I have a light day and what I hope will be a respite from all the hard work Ive been doing lately - thus lets see if I can get some daygame/nightgame in. Very much looking forward to it!!

 

[Científico]

Yet another date in which I successfully bounced the girl back home, but she wouldn't fuck. The pattern continues.

This was the Guatemalteca whose number I got a while back, problably close to two months ago. Since then it had a been a series of unsuccessful attempts to get her out (and her flaking with various excuses), with me even giving up on her for a time. Miraculously, last week she reactivated and started texting me, leading to some on/off texting during the week until we finally got together this Saturday afternoon for a drink.

It was fairly standard two-venue date. She parked close to my place, and we walked to a restaurant to get her some food since she was hungry and got a round of drinks. I attempted some light verbal escalation here (asking her if she had any guilty pleasures). She was definitely down for venue two, and I took her to my favorite wine bar that is close to my place (as an aside, the cute bartender is definitely starting to notice I go there with a different woman every time, lol).

Here there was some more verbal spikes (why are you single? Do you kill all of your boyfriend?) as well as physical (*taking hands* how many husbands do you have?). I seed the bounce home with talk about latin music (since that is how we met - her liking the way I danced), and when I asked if she wanted to go back and listen to music she agreed, though with the caveat that she only had a little bit of time before she had to go meet her friend for another event.

Once back at my place, we throw some darts, I throw a bit of music and we start to dance. I kiss her and she kisses back. After the song I push her on the couch and start kissing other parts of her body.

She appears to be into it at this point, but then she complains that the neighbors are watching (my blinds are open and the building next door has lots of residential apartments). I go over and close the blinds and resume my kissing, to which she then gets up and says "lets dance some more". As we're dancing I start taking off my belt and get my dick out, to put her hand on it, but she refuses, then says she should go. I go with the "agree and amplify" route initially ("yeah maybe you're right"), thinking that the push might get her to reconsider, but she is firm in her decision. I kiss her some more and attempt to get her back in the mood to no avail. Afterwards, I decide to walk her out and send her on her way.

Thus, yet again a girl in my apartment, and more blue balls. A definite pattern here?

 

[foggy]

definitely a pattern here...i find it interesting

you need to be more aggressive. i noticed girls are giving you excuses like "the neighbors could be watching" or "im hungry." they are saying this to throw you off and its working. do not pay attention to these things and stay focussed on the escalation.

also, how long does this dancing and darts shit take? if these girls are not naked on ur bed within 10-15 minutes of getting to ur house then thats a problem

 

[Científico]

you need to be more aggressive. i noticed girls are giving you excuses like "the neighbors could be watching" or "im hungry." they are saying this to throw you off and its working. do not pay attention to these things and stay focused on the escalation.

This is good advice, thank you. Indeed, looking back, me breaking off the escalation to get up and close the blinds may have been THE turning point - up until then she had been into it, and somehow the act of me listening to her and doing what she said turned her off. Another reminder that what women want is to be lead, and dominated.

also, how long does this dancing and darts shit take? if these girls are not naked on ur bed within 10-15 minutes of getting to ur house then thats a problem

I generally always start the escalation quickly, within 10 min.

 

[Científico]

Today was another daygame Sunday, in which I successfully instant-dated a total hottie, got her number, and scheduled a follow up date for tomorrow. Experiences like this continue to convince me of the power of the daygame approach over other methods.

Today was overcast and ugly, although warm, and I noticed a distinctive lack of approachable women in the section of the city I decided to start out in today. Thus I started to walk over to a better area and set a modest goal of 5 approaches. The first I got done with quickly (a friendly Austrian tourist who was actually with her parents nearby about to travel to New York City, thus a no-go). I let several opportunities pass me by after this approach thus lost momentum. When I finally got another approach out, to a cutie with a jean skirt on and a tall coffee, it was a total blowout (she ignored me completely).

The next approach was another girl with a coffee that listened to my sales pitch but didn't hook. After that it was a woman with a sundress and a baby in a carriage (opened by asking if the baby was hers - it wasn't) - the remarkable thing about this one was that she was open to giving me her contact info even after she said she had a boyfriend, and after I disqualified myself as a boyfriend candidate ("I dont want to be your boyfriend"). It shows once again that women can still be open to you even after they bring up boyfriends. Approach #5 was a cutie that came out of a plant shop - was pleasant but politely declined when I asked her out.

After the 5 approaches I was fairly discouraged, but warmed up for when I saw the next girl - she had a hoodie on, and tight leggings which showed off a beautiful ass. Overall very attractive, and well above what I normally get from Tinder or Bumble. I saw her and opened right away, commenting that it looked like she just came out of a yoga class. She hooked immediately and we talked about fitness, travel, and her work. Turns out she is visiting from California and only here for a few more days (it is always the travelers that are most receptive). After some vibing I suggest an instant-date to a bar a few metro stops away that I knew had good drinks and good latin music.

There was actually some reluctance on her part at multiple stages, with her pausing and going "I dont know..." both when I first suggested it, and right before we go into the metro stop. I persisted with some gentle leadership and touching of her arm ("just for a little bit, I promise you will like it"), and she acquiesced both times. She kept commenting how random it was, and how she had never used the metro before (lol). I told her she was delightfully innocent, but that "dont worry I still like you". She responded positively to this with an "okay good ".

While on the metro she continued to remark about how random it was, and thanking me for the experience. I told her I am glad to make things interesting for her, and at this point go in for the kiss, which is rejected. I brush it off and tell her its okay, "its my job to try", and continue to lead her to the bar where music playing and people are dancing. Once there I buy us a round of drinks (she drinks a tequila shot), then we dance a little bit, and I grab her number at this point which she gives me enthusiastically. After about 30 minutes she says she would like to go back to her hotel soon. I tell her okay but also suggest a bounce back to my place instead "without all the people and loud music". More indecision - and this time persistence is less effective. She tells me she doesn't know me yet and wants to be safe. I tell her its understandable (failed to throw in some spiking here, could have easily turned the tables on her and told her I need to know she isn't a serial killer, etc).

Eventually I walk her out of the bar and to the metro, telling her I will drop her off then go back to the bar. When we part, she hugs me but its clear from the way she turns her head that a kiss close wasn't in the cards. I kiss her cheek and tell her we should meet tomorrow for a drink, she tells me she would like that, and that she will text me to tell me she got back safe.

After about an hour I initiate the following text exchange:

Científico: Great to meet Did you get back with no problems?
Daygame Hottie (DH): Hey I did make it back!
Científico: Good!! First successful round trip metro trip
DH: Yes! Thank you for the experience!!

*Pause for about two hours*

Científico: Happy to spice things up for you DH
Científico: What time are you free tomorrow afternoon/evening to grab a bite to eat?
DH (replies within minutes): I'll text you after I'm done with the gym and I have a teeth cleaning. But after that I'm free
Científico: So you'll have perfect teeth, sounds lovely
Científico: What will it be at the gym this time? Brazilian Ju Jitsu? Karate? Muay Thai (reference to earlier conversation when I opened her)
DH: Exactly! This is just regular gym although I do want to try Muay Thai. How was the bar when you went back? Did you have fun?
Científico: I always have fun when I go there. Even when the music shifts Reggaetón heavy
Científico: Let{s shoot for 6-7 tomorrow, tentatively
DH: Sounds good.

Several thoughts here:

1.) The power of the daygame approach is awesome, like I mentioned earlier. A girl this attractive would be much more difficult to game during night game, and impossible online
2.) Persistence and gentle leadership pays off, and smashed her reluctance to the instant date
3.) Seems like its better to err on the side of overescalation rather than underescalation - both the attempted kiss and the attempted bounce back don't seem to have decreased her attraction and willingness to meet again. But the escalation has to be calibrated well.

We'll see what happens tomorrow, assuming she doesn't flake. Aiming for another two-venue date with the bounce home.

 

[Científico]

Well, the fact that it is 6:30 pm and this girl has not responded to both of my pings today, means at this point we can pretty safely conclude she has flaked. A real shame - but at this point these flakes never hurt as much as they used to, 5-10 years ago. Just more motivation to get back on the horse and try again - there is no shortage of women like her.

What lessons can I draw from this? I'm not 100% sure, but my inkling is that there was some over-escalation yesterday with the kiss attempt and the bounce-home attempt, which brought up her buying temperature (hence her fast responses last night) but then led to some kind of buyers remorse and auto-rejection today when I let the interaction cool off overnight. A small part of me knew I could have tried to set up a meeting last night instead of tomorrow, but I didn't think much of it - now I know this was likely the best route to try to go. When I escalate the way I did on the instant-date, best policy is probably to try to go for the same day lay... I'll probably convert this into a regular field report on the main board to see what other board members say about this one, because I could use the feedback.

Today I almost went back downtown to do another day game mission in the same area I met her, but it's a cold, and very windy day thus suboptimal for daygame. Instead I'll do some chores I need to get done here tonight and save a new daygame mission for tomorrow (weather is more favorable). Thank goodness that this is a light work-week that allows me to do go out and daygame more than usual.

 

[Científico]

Two topics today:



1.) It was absolutely gorgeous out, and a perfect day for some daygame, with nice sunshine and a crisp cool temperature. I was on a role (for me, at least), with a low blowout rate and a decently high 'hook' rate. I did 13 approaches, and got 2 numbers, one facebook, and one email. I will follow up actively with all of them except for the facebook close, since she was heading back to Canada and I essentially closed her just for practice. Both numbers responded to my icebreaker texts (one was a gorgeous black girl on her way to a job interview at a restaurant, the other a honduran cashier at a vegan restaurant I was able to close since the place was dead).

And the email? A hot indian theology student walking with big textbooks. As I attempted to close her, she told me she was gay and has a girlfriend, and that she doesn't give out her number "like that", but that she will give me her email. From her email I see her full name, was able to find her on facebook - she is indeed gay with pictures of her with another girl and some with a rainbow background. She is indeed a sexy lesbian. Not that I will let this deter me from trying to get her out on a date!! Although the email game has to be tight for sure - today I will compose something observational, non-needy with some light humor to see if I can get a response.




2.) I seem to have run some decent salsa game within the past week, with two girls from a dance team I met last Wednesday interested in me. Last night, kinda drunk, I kissed one of them (the one I actually like) lightly when she called out the elephant in the room, saying "I don't know if you were here for me or for someone else", but perhaps crucially failed to escalate more than this and left. This is perhaps the classic Cientifico mistake of starting an escalation then stopping. Despite getting the kiss close, cant help but feel I fucked up? The story:

Wednesday of last week I go to a local bar with some music/dancing, and the place is mostly dead - the only females worth talking to are a group of 4 that was there to perform. I already know one of them from previous months, who I number closed before due to lukewarm interest and ran some light escalation/text game before it fizzled out. However when I see her she is always friendly, loves to dance with me, and gives me big friendly hugs/cheek kisses, which I enjoy for the social proof.

The three girls I don't know are hanging out at the bar, so I approach the entire group and vibe with them on the dance culture, how they performed (I missed it that time due to arriving late), and if the venue will survive. I get them all out to dance individually and they really enjoy it - this is when my 10+ years of salsa/bachata experience comes in handy.

One of the three leaves, leaving two to vibe with. I hang out with them at the bar individually, chatting with them about various subjects while other guys ask them ask them to dance (then mostly bringing them right back), dancing with both occasionally, and number closing both. Its clear that they both enjoyed talking to me - but I am only attracted to one of them (lets call her Katrina). Still, this initial interaction creates competition and a pre-selection dynamic.

I let Katrina know I might go to another venue the following day closer to her location (she remarks "oooh I might go if you are there"), which I do, and I see her there briefly and get a few dances in. Nothing remarkable about this interaction other than she is happy to see me - but I leave earlier that night and leave her with the two friends she came with.

Over the weekend (Friday) I ask Katrina out, and I never text her friend at all. I suggest we get Indian food/drinks at a venue closer to where she lives (her distance is considerable, 30-40 minute drive). She interprets it as me asking her out THAT night, and saying that she cant do it since she already has plans. I tell her weekend is better anyway - and at this point she doesn't respond! I do a 72 hour roll-off, and re-engage yesterday with my normal "Did you get kidnapped!?" text, which she responds to immediately. I probe to see if she can get a drink with me that evening, but she says she has dance practice, and we discuss the next place where her team will perform. I do not confirm that I will be there and sorta leave it hanging, not responding to her final text.

Which brings us to last night at this Tuesday venue. I was very on after my daygame session - once again the Argentinian I briefly dated earlier in the year was there and was very warm upon seeing me. ALL of the girls on the team, including Katrina, greet me warmly as well. They perform, I dance with all of them and everyone is having a good time. Both girls from last week are coming up to me at various points to engage conversation. Katrina at one point asks me to join her at the bar, which I do for a bit. Here I know that I have to escalate a bit, but I'm not sure I do the best job at spiking/getting sexual/flirting - it seems to be stuck in comfort a lot with her. I think the main source of her attraction is simply coming from the fact that I am a better dancer than 95% of guys and I seem to have a pre-selection dynamic going for me with the other girl, who also comes up to us, and I can easily make fun of her for being a postdoc - indeed it seems to be much easier to flirt with the other girl I am actually not interested in!

A little before 1 am everyone is leaving and I let Katrina know I'm going soon also. She thanks me for being there, and then, crucially says: "I don't know if you were here for me or for someone else" (obviously referring to the other girl I was flirting with).

Here is the crucial moment where my semi-drunk self needs to decide how to proceed/escalate Without thinking to much, I kiss her - and she kisses back. It is however a brief, quick kiss. Then I ask her how she is getting home, and if she feels okay to drive back to her area. She tells me she has a car and that she will be fine. I float the fact that she could hang out with me instead since I live much closer. She hesitates, and almost seems to consider it - but here for some reason I back off and tell her I will see her at the festival this weekend we both plan on attending, and leave it at that.

While I'm driving home analyzing the interaction I am kinda kicking myself - with a little bit of persistence, I may have been able to pull her home. I always struggle with knowing when to escalate. This is still a big problem for me, and I am still sometimes very indecisive, since I've had experiences with over-escalation/buyers remorse before.

I text her telling her to let me know when she gets back. She does around an hour later, telling me she stayed at the venue a little longer and had fun (another sign that I could have pulled her - almost certainly other guys tried to game her during this time), and asking me how old I am.

So, Despite getting the kiss close, I'm not sure I handled this optimally. The weekend will provide another opportunity to do a proper close since we will both be at the same festival and logistics will be perfect with my hotel room - IF I can get that far.

 

[Científico]

Just another update on "Katrina" - we have been text exchanging all day.

Some banter in the morning in response the questions she sent me last night, her confirming that she wants to go to the same bar down the street tonight that I met her at last week, then me inviting her over to cook for her - which leads to this from her:

So I’ll be honest I don’t think I can go over your place or something like that. But I am dating someone and don’t think it’ll be a good idea for me to do that. However, going for some food I am still up for it.

Clear evidence that I screwed up last night and fell into the boyfriend frame, or even killed the attraction she had for me with the "false start". I explicitly disqualify myself as a boyfriend "I don't want to be your boyfriend", and at first I even suggest a food place to go with her suggestion, but then realized that will get me absolutely nowhere (clearly in boyfriend frame) so I cancel and tell her I'll see her at the bar. Later on in the day she texts me again and tells me she is too tired to go to the bar. I try to revive the cooking-at-my-place idea to get her to relax, and she engages in some banter about her favorite veggies but then says "wait this isn't for tonight right? I can't tonight." to which I reply "suit yourself - maybe another night I feel like cooking "

Going to be hard to recover from this I feel. Meanwhile, both numbers I got yesterday daygaming stopped texting me back and no response to the email I sent to the hot indian lesbian. Hitting rock bottom with no prospects at all tonight.

The only thing that keeps me positive right now is the sheer number of women out there and the ease at getting new prospects. All I have to do is go out day-gaming on Friday and use my dance game this weekend (as of yesterday, I quit Tinder/Bumble - it simply does not work for the quality I want). But who would have thunk that it would be so god damn difficult to get laid after my long-term relationship. I've had dozens and dozens of women reject me at every stage in 2019, from the initial phone number, to being in my apartment kissing me but not fucking. They are ALWAYS falling off somewhere along the seduction ladder, and some days it is maddening.

 

[Científico]

Today I had another clusterfuck situation at work, but this time it was me cleaning up the mess of another colleague. Again this job giving me all kinds of new learning experiences - at least it is never getting boring.

Afterwards I went running which helped calm my nerves, then decided I was going to go out to a "kizomba" night, again at a very local bar close to my apartment. Before I left I received a very positive response to a scheduler text, sent three days ago to a very sexy asian milf whose number I got dancing on Saturday (will wait until tomorrow to respond). It was on with this woman as soon as I started dancing with her, so I'm pleased to be generating new prospects after the weird day yesterday. Like I said, getting new leads is easy - its following through that is currently my problem!!

Kizomba is a dance that comes from Africa, heavily popularized in Europe before it came over to the US. Almost all of the songs are in Portuguese or French, and the dance is very close/intimate/sensual. It has made inroads into the salsa community, especially in Europe, and while I lived there I dabbled in it quite a lot. Here it is mostly separate events to salsa and the crowds they attract are often different.

A very pretty black girl was that I mentioned almost a month ago was there. She was really the only girl at the venue tonight that I was that interested in. Here is what I said about her then then:

Finally, I actually did check out a salsa/bachata/zouk night tonight - first dancing event in a while. Learned that its possible to over-tease a girl and have the opposite of its intended effect, especially when its uncalibrated and in front of her friends - this girl wanted nothing to do with me afterwards. So that was a failed experiment

Miraculously, today she gave me a big smile upon seeing me, while sitting at the bar by herself. I go right up to her and greet her, ask her a few fluff questions then move on to change my shoes. So over-teasing/cockiness can piss girls off - for a time, until they get over it. She saw me flirting with the other salseras on Tuesday (and was again acting cold that night, but I didn't care since I was busy), thus I take it the preselection had some desired effect on her as well. I take a phone call from my Mexican lady friend (which I know she sees me take through the window), then go back inside and eventually ask her to dance after getting a few other dances in with other girls. Unfortunately my timing was bad as it was right when the manager of the bar was coming up to her for an interview - she rebuffs me, slightly coldly like she did the first night. I continue to go about my business, dance with some other girls at the bar, until I see her come back out and seemingly avoid eye contact with me. I think its back to the coldness with her - UNTIL she walks by a few minutes later, we make eye contact with cheeky smiles which I break, then she actually reaches over and sorta grabs my shoulder as she passes, then continues walking. Next time I see her I grab her for a dance - again bad timing as its right when another guy is coming up to talk to her, but she wraps up the convo and we dance.

Do I try to game her further or number close her? Not really. With the loud music, and her constant dancing with other dudes (or by herself, since the DJ changed the music from partner dance music to other stuff) the opportunity wasn't really there. I know this sounds lame, but my "state" was really not in the mood to try to move her to the bar for a drink - I was avoiding alcohol tonight to save my energy for the weekend. I'll be fully recharged during this big weekend event coming up, in which I know she will be there as well as a ton of other salseras - this is the time I will swing the bat hard to try to get one of these females back to my hotel room.

My first real dance congress since last year, and first one in which I have a hotel room in well over a year (before I was single) - with hundreds of hot women around and perfect logistics, there will be no excuse not to swing the bat as hard as possible to get a home-run.

Basic plan will be ---> dance floor game ---> extract to hotel bar ----> up to hotel room, starting tomorrow night.

 

[Científico]

This post is my 'report' post dance-congress.

Brief recap:

Overall epic experience at this congress, meeting so many girls, and it was my first experience really swinging the bat hard and trying to get a girl back to my hotel room - which I succeeded in doing Saturday night! But, just like the rest of the cases in April, lost this one too to LMR despite about 1.5 - 2 hours of persistence and she left me with a serious case of blue balls. Despite this, I left the congress with a BIG smile on my face and overall very very positive vibes. Besides the bounce-back on Saturday, I flirted with many many girls, got 6 phone numbers, another kiss close/make-out, and two lunch 'dates' on Sunday (not to mention having an overall great time dancing and increasing my dance repertoire). I also learned a lot about how to leverage my knowledge of game, and pick-up, in this kind of setting with my high value to these girls that comes from 10+ years of dance experience.

More details:

My arrival to this congress was on Friday night. I had booked a hotel next door to the congress hotel to make it a proper weekend, and like I mentioned before, have perfect logistics for a bounce back. I prepare the room beforehand by buying alcohol (beer and cheap white wine) as well as setting up a speaker to play music with my computer, which would be ready to go as soon as I arrive.

There are three main components to a salsa congress - workshops during the day with instructors, performances after dinner, then partying all night until 6-7 am.

On Friday, my arrival coincided with when most people were watching the performances, around 9-10 pm. This is just a passive activity in which you sit and watch other people perform, which has never been my cup of tea. Luckily this congress had a room set up just for people like me that aren't into waiting for the performances to be over before they want to start dancing.

This dance room is barren with only a few people at this point in the night, but in the room is a cute MILF dancing with another dude, and I grab her as soon as she is done with him. She isnt super skilled but I have fun with her regardless, and conversation continues after the dance and after I dance with another woman in the same room. I suggest 'getting an adult beverage' at the hotel bar, which she accepts (applying the game principle of 'moving venues' to test compliance, something I do over and over and over again at this congress).

At the bar, we get drinks, and after sitting down lo and behold the other woman that was also in the room turns up - I invite her to sit with us. Thus, there I am having a drink with two cute ladies I just met. Not a bad start!

We hang out at the bar until the performances end and the party starts. During the course of the night on Friday I attempt 4 bounce-backs (two with the two women I had drinks with, plus two more I met/danced with throughout the night), roughly using the strategy of 1.) identifying a target that I am dancing with who seems "on" - (very flirty, sensual dancing), 2.) Moving her to another ballroom with different kinds of music playing (venue change within the same event, testing compliance), then 3.) suggesting 'a drink' in my hotel room. Unfortunately all four of these attempts are not successful - a combination of factors I feel led to these failures, either not enough comfort, not enough sexual tension building, or just plain lack of interest from the girl. Besides grabbing a number or two, I go back to my room exhausted at 4 am empty-handed.

Saturday was a much better day. During the day were the workshops. Highlight was meeting a very cute and very flirty/receptive Boricua (just like me) who was taking one of the same workshops. Her interest seemed obvious as we danced together in the beginning of one of the workshops which had easily over 100 attendees, and then split up as people rotated, but afterwards after the workshop ended and I went to grab my stuff she IMMEDIATELY made eye contact and grinned at me. I go right up to her to and chat, grab her number, and send her a short "good to meet" text. She replies with a high-investment text later in the day that is almost 10 times as long, and responsive to my pings later in the weekend. I am excited to get this one out on a date - but logistics are very very poor, unfortunately.

Saturday evening, same strategy - I skip the performances and go to the dance room that has people in it that would rather dance instead of watch performances. There I meet another friendly MILF who I strike up a conversation with, and again use the "lets get an adult beverage" bounce-to-hotel-bar strategy. This is effective and she comes with me - but then reveals she doesn't drink once there (LOL). Funny enough, she dismisses herself as she says she wants to go back to dancing, but then recruits another woman who had just arrived at the bar to take her place who is in fact cuter than she is. This new woman has no problem sitting with me, and I end up talking to her for about 2 hours, with mostly comfort and vibing with a few sexual spikes. She is also throwing back the alcohol and has a quirky personality - as the person reading this post can problably guess, this is the girl that ends up agreeing to the bounce back later.

Eventually around midnight I excuse myself from the girl at the bar (after getting her number) and make it to the party, which is now going on in full force. A lot of dancers, and a LOT of cute girls. With one girl after the other, I do my 1.), 2.), 3.) strategy outlined above, sometimes for the number close as #3 instead of the bounce-back, then literally (within seconds), often finding a brand new sexy girl to try it with. One girl is being particularly sensual, putting her face/mouth VERY close to mine - after her doing this 10-15 times, I just go straight for it (wasn't hard - I had to close a distance of only a few centimeters). She isn't particularly receptive to the ultra-fast escalation of kissing though, and this is the only number that actually doesn't respond to an ice-breaker text all weekend (overall, the numbers I was getting are generally responding, probably meaning my game was tighter than usual).

One girl I dance with had made sexy eye contact several times during the workshops or at the bar earlier, and when I finally ask her to dance she is ready for it, and very enthusiastic about giving me her number:

Me: Where are you coming from?
Her: *names town 3 hours away*, come visit me
Me: I don't know, that's far. You have to make it worth it for me.
Her: *Sexy voice* I will definitely make it worth it for you. (WHOA)

Eventually, I find the girl from the bar earlier that I spoke with for so long. She is very happy to see me and expresses her concern that she would never find me in such a big event, and was happy she finally did. Its already ~3 am, so I do the 'venue change', then suggest the bounce back....and she agrees! As we are walking out, the petite MILF from the other week that was at my place sees me leave with this new girl and reacts very jealous/cooly (LOL).

As we are walking to my hotel, this girls body language is distant (wont let me touch her that much), and outside of the hotel room the LMR starts - i.e., she pauses in the hallway and says "by the way, we are not hooking up". I use the standard anti-LMR role reversal for this, telling her she needs to get her mind out of the gutter and asking her "why are you thinking about sex all the time?". This gets her in the room. She grabs my cheap white wine and starts drinking it, then plops herself down next to the bed. She seems legitimately nervous and angsty, which later becomes a theme for this girl as the escalation progresses. I tell her to relax, and put my arm around her, and rest my head on her shoulder which seems to calm her. She tells me she will give me a massage, and starts to do so - I take off my shirt "to make it easier for her". Then I turn around and return the favor to her, eventually going up to her neck, then turning her head and giving her a big, full on kiss. She kisses back and very much enjoys it, but she wont let me escalate more, so I fractionate, put on some bullshit movie on Netflix and continue to kiss her, her neck, body, etc, with periods of me pulling back when she pushes away. Her resistance is firm and she never lets me continue escalating past the kissing - and unfortunately as it gets later her anxiety seems to return ("I dont think I can do this, I have to leave"), to the point where she seems very distressed and on the verge of crying. Still, despite her insistence that she needs to leave and that she isn't good company, it almost seems like she needs my permission to leave - she would not let me escalate and insisted on leaving constantly, but she also wouldn't leave as well. After over 30 minutes of this I let her go (giving her the "permission", instead of asking her to stay and relax), and she goes out into the hallway.

A bit confused, I consider what to do next. It is 4:30 am and I know the party is still going on, and I am not at all tired, so I put on clothes again and get back to the party LOL. In the lobby of the hotel I see the girl calling an uber and stay with her until her driver gets there, kissing her again and generally telling her its okay. Then I go back to the dance floor.

I get some dances in with some of the very serious, highly skilled bachateras that are still out dancing at that hour, but my instinct tells me the bounceback wouldnt be in the cards for most of those girls. As I'm ABOUT to call it quits and go back to my hotel room to crash and cure my blue-balls at around 5:30 am, a blonde, slightly overweight but still cute woman asks me to dance - and I can tell it's on right away. Again with the very sensual, face-centimeters-from-mine style. I do the 'venue-change', then again go for the kiss close in the other room in the same fashion as the last time - and this time she is into it, and kisses back. I ask for the bounce-back and she is seriously considering it, but also resisting, saying "I have to let my friend know" and looking for her. I tell her to just text her but to no avail - this is probably when I could have led a bit harder and said "I'm going right now, come with me" to prevent what happens next. When we DO eventually find the friend (a heavy-set girl), she in fact doesn't care that her friend might hook up with me, but gives her the option of going back with her with instead, which the blonde girl takes saying "yeah sorry, I dont hook up at congresses" then going back in to kiss me full on in the mouth.

After this, I do seriously call it quits and go back to wank and sleep.

Sunday morning, I send pings to all the numbers I got over the weekend. Something like 80% respond, including the Boricua I would love to meet again, and the "I will definitely make it worth it for you" girl. I ask the latter girl to get coffee with me, she tells me lets get lunch, and we meet. Its a great lunch date with a very cute and interesting girl, we vibe over many topics and she responds very well to my physical escalations. She lives far away, but this is another girl I would love to see again. I say goodbye to that girl, hit up one more workshop, find the blonde girl again that I kissed closed on the dance floor last night at 6 am and number close her properly (who clearly wanted me to kiss her again, LOL), then have a second food meet with a vegan dancer girl who I knew previously but had a failed date with back in December or January. Might be something to rekindle there but I would have to work at it.

Thus concludes an epic weekend. Lots of amazing interactions with gorgeous females and many leads for future dates.

 

[Científico]

Crappy week of work last week which prevented me from focusing a lot on daygame and pickup. Long story short, I may in fact change jobs within my company, and take a pay cut if it means lowering the stress.

"Katrina" texts me occasionally but I haven't been able to meet up with her. Had a date scheduled Friday with a sexy Asian milf, who actually ended up flaking - apparently my joke about her buying me a drink prompted a comment about "chilvary", and I fucked up the texting after that.

I did manage to go on a daygame mission on Sunday in a nearby city (not my home city), and did six approaches, 2 of which turned into instant dates, and one turned into me meeting the girl later (today) - my VERY FIRST first-date from daygame. Only took 103 approaches and 17 numbers over 2 months. She is postdoc from Hong Kong who is shy in person, yet very chatty over text, claims she has never had a boyfriend and will not stop talking about her dogs and her mother. Almost seems like a perfect case of a girl with pent up sexual frustration. I kissed her outside of her apartment but she wouldn't let me in.

My daygame numbers for April do look a bit better than the ones for March, with a higher "hook" percentage, more numbers per approach, and lower blowout rate. I'll go over them in a future post. But of course none of this means anything if it doesnt translate to results.

 

[Científico]

This weekend has been very lazy, aside from Friday when I actually had a girl open ME on the metro and I number closed, and the evening when I had another shot at some night game, actually managing to get a phone number that is semi-responsive this weekend.

The metro close was funny - I was on my way to a work function and NOT in the mood to be opening women, however an old lady on the metro opened me about my company shirt, then the girl next to me (southeast Asian origin, who had come into the metro car earlier and stood next to me) actually butted into the conversation herself. Turns out she was very chatty and friendly, and also a wanabe poliglot like me, so the connection was strong off the bat. My luck continued in that me and the girl had to get off at the same metro stop, so I number closed her and we walked together for a bit before parting. She has been very chatty over text since then, but dodgy when it comes to my date requests thus far. I'm intentionally leaving sometimes long gaps before responding, just to try communicate to her that she has to actually come out at some point to keep enjoying my company and that I will not be her gay-texting-best-friend.

This woman from night game on Friday did in fact show some interest at the bar but was un-receptive to my fast physical escalations, I ejected and started opening other girls, only to have her insert herself into another set later (lol). I number closed her after that and somehow we got separated after that (was drunk, so dont remember all the details).

I'm dealing with both of these numbers right now, plus a few more from weeks/months past, but wasn't able to secure a proper date with any of them this weekend. Yesterday I was also nursing a hangover so my productivity was in fact a bit limited.

I am struggling with low energy and motivation these days, and I suspect it may have to do with my work stress and my falling back into old habits. When it comes to my work, some big changes were initiated this week that may result in a new position, and a new city, very soon. It really sucks that this job, which I was speaking so highly of at the start of the journal, does not seem to be working out as anticipated. I hope to get this part of my life handled so I can truly be at a happy place and start incorporating women into my life more regularly.

 

[Científico]

Have not updated this in a while. Reason being, shit really did hit the fan professionally - the month of May was one of absolute shit in terms of me having to leave my job, and my company, due to some insurmountable issues with the people I worked with. I'm still in shock that this happened, given that just a few short months ago I thought I was on top of the world professionally. I learned a lot of lessons from this experience, how to better communicate with colleagues, align goals, and ask the right questions during interviews to make sure the team you are joining is one you can actually work and develop a career with.

Thankfully, I'm getting interviews - had two on-sites already, one more coming up, and several more phone/video chat interviews next week. Thus, it is now looking promising that I will find my next job soon and my stress levels now in June have been decreasing with how busy I have been interviewing. Especially after this interview I had on Friday that feels very, very promising. I feel much more like myself now.

Obviously, my game took a hit in May as a result of all this craziness and I wasn't really focused on meeting women most of the month. I did a grand total of 2 daygame approaches in the entire month of May! The only thing of significance that happened was me attracting this cute turkish girl from a meetup that ended up coming back to my place on the second date - the problem was, I find out she is a virgin....and would not let me stick P in V. She always wanted to hang out and see me after that, and somehow, I fell into the boyfriend frame with her - I suspect this happens with virgins more often than not.

I decided to dump her after the third date to focus on meeting more promising sexual leads rather than spending time with a girl I knew I wasn't able to give what she wanted. I am not on the market to be a boyfriend that waits to have sex, at least not since I have been a teenager.

Now I've done almost 18 daygame approaches in June so far and gotten 6 numbers. I enjoy it way more than Tinder, because I select the girls rather than them selecting me, and I deleted all the dating apps to help motivate me to go out on daygame sessions. My main problem is still, like it has always been, extending these numbers past the initial interaction and reducing the flake rate. This applies not just to daygame but to other sources of phone numbers from girls. I met a stunning girl from Singapore dancing last night that seemed very "on" the ENTIRE night, with me blatantly communicating my interest (calling her 'beautiful') and her reciprocating, introducing me to her sister, and even setting up a date for later this week - of course she didn't answer the phone when I called tonight nor has she answered the text I sent right after. The cruel twist of life - as soon as you start caring about the outcome with a girl, the girl senses it and ejects.

I've started to record my in-field sets, and a few things I notice listening to myself
1.) Need to make sure my voice is deeper and I speak more slowly
2.) Need to stop laughing/giggling so much (especially at my own jokes)
3.) Need to get better at stacking/improv (one of the hardest parts of daygame).

I'm also considering implementing the phone call some more into my dating, like I've mentioned before. I have had success with it before, and as I have learned from my phone interviews - I have a great phone voice that I need to use to my advantage. So I will probably start changing my SOP - rather than sending the scheduler text first (after the icebreaker text) and waiting for a response, I'll call, and only if she does not pick up will I send the scheduler text. Then I'll try to put phone calls more into the interaction at later stages if she responds.

If all goes well, next week I will be sitting on two job offers. Let's hope this tempest passes and I start a job that really fits with me, and I feel stable and can focus on game once more. In a few weeks I should know where I will be next.

 

[Científico]

Past few weeks have been great, as I have successfully recovered professionally and secured two job offers. As of last week I have accepted one of these offers, and will start a new job July 1. I am very excited as it represents a new opportunity to get back on track with the career I wanted. This time the team appears to be exactly what I need to succeed and I will work hard to ensure success.

What else has occurred? Last night, I got laid! It was the second date with a Kazakh girl I met at a language meetup earlier this month - I took her out dancing (as she also happens to be a dancer), took her home, and proceeded to have sex in all parts of my apartment (including the balcony!!). She is one of the horniest girls I have screwed in a while, telling me to fuck her harder constantly and initiating more rounds of sex. During the post-sex interview, she had apparently decided to fuck me during the salsa club. Generally I steer clear of taking girls out to clubs on dates, but as I suspected, since I had established the 'lover' frame during the first date this second date at the salsa club proceeded smoothly.

This lay is exactly what I needed - and helps get me in the right mindset to start the new job. Looking forward to the future at this point.