Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

[ElderPrice]

*high five* Keep it up!

 

[Científico]

Sunday nights calling of the girls I had in my pipeline was somewhat fruitful - called six, two of which answered and both tentatively agreed to meet later this week (tomorrow, or Thursday). Not bad. I'll touch base with both tomorrow via text and see where that is at.

Similarly, I switched gears after my people interaction-heavy job after I got home and started cold approaching women while taking myself out to dinner. It was a decent outing - did 6 approaches, only one blowout, and two solid hooks + numbers. The one I am most proud of was when a woman walks past and gives me a strong IOI (eye contact and smile), I think "no way I will let this one go", and run over to her, pass her, turn around and open direct. This is something I would have had problems with even just a few months ago. She was very receptive and agreed to the drinks date. Both of the numbers today did.

Thus, if I'm lucky one of these will convert this week into a real date.

 

[Científico]

Almost unsurprisingly, none of the dates I tried to line up last week ended up working out (lot of flakes). I took a break from pick-up and daygame over the weekend to visit family, and today I had a very busy day with work and personal matters I had to attend to. I have not done even one cold approach in 5 days.

It is the last day of September, which despite a lot of promise ended up being a below-average month pick-up wise. My approach number was higher than average, but my number-close rate was below average. Only two months are worse, March which was my beginner month, and July which had that disastrous Madrid trip.

I also ended up having no dates from any of the leads I got this month (though that could soon change, see below). I honestly blame the midwest trip in the middle of the month for fucking with my momentum, and leading to texting mistakes (at least with the personal trainer). But I also think mistakes were made with some of these other prospects that screwed up my chances. With the airport terminal girl, I turned up the heat way too fast in the middle of the terminal by kissing her, which then led to buyers remorse, especially when I was too available over text. I also blame this for the friendszone experience I had with the gym girl, as me kissing her and NOT inviting her home when she was expecting it put me squarely in the "boyfriend" box, which ended up being unattractive to her. I still punish myself mentally over this mistake especially, since it was SO on with her during the date. C'est la vie.

The rate at which the numbers I DID get responded to the initial "icebreaker text" was also lower than normal, at around 44%. Typically in past months it can be over 50%, which rounds out how crappy this month was overall.

I did get back into the pick-up literature by opening up my copy of "Mystery Method" and reading it again, and also perusing some material from Tony D (one of my favorite girlschase writers) and Tom Torero. Looking for inspiration for a better October, especially since I feel some weird feelings coming on with the Kazakh girl that can only come from lack of other immediate options.

Two other observations I want to make in this post:

1.)
It is proven to me, time and time again, that being bold and asking a woman to go home with you, DOES NOT decrease attraction, and in fact may INCREASE it. This is why the mistake with the gym girl still hurts.

I tried this again on Friday when I was out dancing - there is an older latina MILF that has been registering on my radar the past couple of times I have seen her out. She was easily one of the best dancers in the club that night, and I took her out on the dance floor several times. I was three drinks in, horny, and I noticed she was giving me a large amounts of IOIs - approaching, dancing with me, touching me, laughing at my jokes. I have taken older women straight home for sex from dancing before - I can name at least two times that it has happened, one from last year.

So, late in the night I just went for it - I asked if she wanted to go home with me and "learn a new dance" (a legitimate one, but which one is beyond the scope of this post). She was shocked for a bit, and said no. But then she got over it and started giving me IOIs again, but was dancing with other guys. I didn't feel like waiting around to ask her again, so I went home.

I sent her a text the next day and she immediately responded very positively. Then, when I run into her again (randomly) yesterday in my local neighborhood, again there is a wealth of IOIs from her and some deep diving in our conversation about her history (and how she was married for 20 years). She kept commenting on how young I was, and since I had been reading Mystery Method I knew exactly what to say in response to these shit tests.

Today, she texts me again inviting me out to another club for her friends birthday.

I might ask her out, The only snag here is that this woman does not drink, which fucks with my usual two-venue date model. I don't know what to do yet with women that don't drink.

But the point is, fortune favors the bold. I need to continue to get over this social programming that women do not want to be asked to go home - they honestly don't mind it.

2.)
One thing 7 months of data on number collecting and approaching has revealed is that, dancing overall is the crappiest method to meet women for me out in the field. The number to date ratio is in fact LOWER than daygame, despite how well I dance.

But the surprising finding is how good these "meetups" are (defined as any gathering in which I share a common interest with the attendees and can make "warm" approaches, such as the language happy hours). I have less numbers from meetups since I don't attend them as often, but the number:date ratio in the past 7 months is over 30%!!! 15 numbers and 5 dates, to be precise. That is crazy good. I will focus on going to more events like this in October and beyond, and less "dancing" events, just to see if I can meet more women this way.

Which brings me to this number I got on wednesday. I got this number from a happy hour I went to on wednesday, almost as an after-thought since she was just below the threshold of a woman I would normally consider banging. She responded warmly to the icebreaker text, then RE-INITIATED the conversation herself when it died down. That is when I knew this was a sure date if I wanted it. I asked her out and we are going to meet wednesday for drinks. So if this turns into something, I can add it to my "September" tally and rescue this overall crappy month

 

[Científico]

Strong start to October - after work, I went out into the city and did a full 10 approaches. Starting to realize how important it is to get that solid number in, because the first 6 didn't go so well - only one weak hook and no numbers.

But then, lucky #7 - solid hook from a Mexicana (of course!) who gave me her number despite having a boyfriend, and actually stuck around for a bit after I number closed her. Her body language told me she was very much enjoying the interaction. She is now actively pinging me back.

After this one, I ran into a girl I actually know from dancing downtown (sometimes this city is small) - got her number as well. She is actually friends, or at least acquiantences, with the girl I referred to as "Persian Princess" way back in the beginning of this journal. Will see if I can get her out for a date as well and escalate fast before the negative pre-selection from her friend swings back at me. This one I do not count in my approach tally since it was a warm approach.

Then, cold approach #8 - cute yoga girl who was into beer. Told me she is "kinda dating someone" but gave me her number anyway. Interaction felt a bit weaker, and she has not responded yet.

Rounding it out, #9 and #10 didnt go well.

Most of the sets I did today I also recorded, which shows me how I need to laugh less, and how I still get stuck in comfort once in a while. I also had it happen to me a few times where I stop the girl, but after a while she continues walking. I suspect it has to do with my fundamentals, her state, as well as me needing to be just a bit more persistent (e.g, "hey just one more thing before I have to go" - close)

 

[Científico]

I feel kinda dumb, since last night I made plans with both the girl from Tuesday (Mexicana, approach #7 that day) AND the Kazakh girl afterwards (who wanted to make plans). I was not planning on taking the Mexicana home - and once again, my intuition fails me, because this girl was ready for continued escalation. I had no idea the date would go so well. I should have never made plans with the Kazakh girl.

By the time the thought hit me that I should cancel with the Kazakh girl, she was already in her car on the way to meet me. When will I learn to plan these things properly and properly execute?

At least this Mexicana sent me a post-date text afterwards telling me she had a good time. Good sign I can get her out on date #2. But nothing is guaranteed at this point.

Will hit the streets for more daygame this weekend.

 

[Científico]

Daygame is very much like going to the gym. It is something you have to make sure to leave time in your schedule for. Time management skills apply here. If I want to get to at least 30 approaches per week, I really need to do more dedicated outings like the one I did last week on Tuesday.

And, since my local neighborhood appears to be sub-par when it comes to the abundance of women I want to approach, it means going into the city much more often. It's a 30 minute train ride which just adds to the time it takes to daygame. Picking up women in the city, who are likely to live in other areas far my apartment, also presents a logistics problem often in my dates. Is it worth it to move just for daygame? Something to consider when my lease is up in March 2020.

 

[Científico]

Well, October has had good momemtum so far but I problably killed it last night. Couple of things to recap:

1.) Had a date last week with the woman that chased a bit after I got her number at a meetup. In terms of attractiveness, right around, or just below, the threshold of a woman I would consider having sex with. I did the standard two-venue date and had it go fairly well, the physical escalation/touching was proceeding like it normally should at the second venue. However she refused the bounce-back home. Not that I cared that much. I may not bother with a second date.

2.) Yesterday I met up with this Mexicana again (after calling her Sunday and setting up the date for the next day on the phone). It was miraculous as I expected a sure flake after Friday. Girls do surprise me sometimes when they break the normal patterns, since I thought for sure (or nearly for sure) that she would not come out on date #2 the way I turned up the heat with some kissing after date #1 then abruptly broke it off. Maybe it was the fact that I clearly had other plans that kept her interested.

Regardless, she shows up, and she shows up looking good in a white dress, and she even comes to my neighborhood to meet me in my own turf (for an easy bounceback). The logistics were perfect. I did the standard two-venue date, picking a brewpub for the first venue and a lounge with dim lighting for the second venue, then as is typical she was warming up to me and touching a lot (viewing videos on each others phones). I suggested the bounceback and she gave me some token resistance in the bar before submitting without asking again as I walked her home.

Unfortunately, I screw up when she actually gets to my place. The resistance does not go away, she will not physically escalate, and being the affectionate person I am I actually push it a bit too much instead of backing down and giving her the slow burn she needed. She ends up abruptly freaking out and entering into a combat frame about how I don't respect her. My first reaction was to enter that frame (at least partially) instead of diffusing the situation like I should have, and the way she left its virtually certain I wont see her again.

This is another lesson learned that some ladies require that slowness and fractionation once at your place for the seduction to take place. Especially when, like this one, she has a boyfriend and kept bringing up how she feels guilty to be at my place when in fact she is not 'supposed to'. I may not have gotten the lay in any case, but there was a chance had I not been such an impatient, uncalibrated dousche (who was also semi-drunk). I was hungry for my first lay from PURE daygame - from the street to the bedroom.

What can you do other than hit the streets and social events to get more leads. At least my approach anxiety is substantially reduced these days, and I have a lot of fun approaching women. I feel Kazakh girl still pushing me into a relationship, but we've been keeping it to around one/two times per week which is manageable.

 

[Científico]

When it comes to the Kazakh girl, I sense a disturbance in the force. We have some plans for the weekend, but she insisted today I come to her house very early (either tonight, or tomorrow) to talk about "something personal" that she can "only discuss in person". I told her I would come tomorrow instead of tonight. I am assuming this is "the talk" (about monogamy) or she is in fact getting ready to break off the relationship. In either case, it is probably best to get this over with. I have been spending too much time with this girl lately, and have been losing the frame, and the time I need to hit the streets and acquire more leads. I am just getting too comfortable with this woman.

Today I was working out in the field in a nearby city, and after I was done I did get out one cold approach. She did not hook but it felt nice. Later in my local neighborhood I let several opportunities pass me by, likely because it was already dark and cold approaches in the evening have a vastly different feel to them. This is still in my own head. I STILL need to get better at consistently approaching.

Tonight, some dancing game. And for the long weekend - either a significant amount of time with the Kazakh girl, or one of intensive daygame. Almost hoping for the latter.

 

[Científico]

My hunch with regards to the Kazakh girl was 100% spot on - she was about to break off our relationship. I headed over to her place where she wanted to have a discussion, and I think I surprised her when I agreed, told her I thought we were not compatible long-term, and asked minimal questions. Thus my plans with her were cancelled for the weekend and it is now over between us.

What did I learn from this? The importance of frame control. I was seeing her too often and letting myself slip into this boyfriend/relationship vibe. The one basic change I think I need to make is to not let a girl sleep-over after fucking them. This one change may have changed the course of the entire relationship. I will keep it in mind for next time.

So, I've been going out in the evenings this weekend and daygaming during the day.

Yesterday, I did 11 approaches and got 3 numbers (two pinged me back), and today, I did 10 approaches and got 1. I blame the bad weather for the low rate of return today and lack of hooks (though two other women did hook, one was married, the other a Spanish tourist that is going back to Madrid tomorrow - both refused the number close).

One thing that happened during the daygame session today - I ran into that mexicana, which is a lead I burnt because I was too keen when I was at my place (detailed two posts ago). Again, this city feels small sometimes!! The dialogue was quick and went as follows:

Her: Hey!
Me: Hello how are you
Her: I'm late for a meditation session....
Me: Enjoy it *I put my hand on her shoulder, and she reciprocates by touching me back*
Her: Okay
Me: I'm glad to see you

After that I walk off. It felt like the vibe with her was positive, interestingly. Since I still have her number I might try calling her again soon to see if there is anything there I can salvage.

I've also been working the dancing/meetup scene and have gotten several other leads - my favorite right now is a girl that approached me one night when I was with the Kazakh girl and I had very strong sexual chemistry with, and I happened to run into her again last night. This time got the number and she has been pinging me today with long texts, always a good sign.

Tonight I will probably go out again and work the dance scene, and see if I can build some more chemistry with some of the ladies I am interested in there, before tomorrow working with text/phone game and seeing who wants to come out later in the week.

 

[Científico]

Today was an absolutely gorgeous day. Officially a holiday for me, Didn't do much at all except workout, nap, some work-related emails/phone call/research and following up with leads from dancing/daygame this entire weekend. Took the day off from intensive daygame, but did two approaches to low-hanging fruit (both didnt hook).

Curiously, my strongest leads from the weekend seem to be coming from the dancing scene, which hasn't been the case last several months if I look at my compiled data. Last night I got two strong numbers that both pinged me back very favorably today. Sometimes things don't follow a neat pattern, hence why its a pick-up art and not a pick-up science . The important thing was that I got myself out there day and night to acquire leads and have a strong pipeline for this week. Good chance I can get at least one date.

 

[Científico]

Tonight I had a date with a girl I originally met at a dancing venue. Just like the Mexicana from ~two weeks ago, I did a two-venue date in my neighborhood (she drove some distance to come here), then did a successful bounce-back to my place. Once here there was some resistance to my escalations, also like the mexicana. A good amount of kissing but she put the brakes on anything else. Unlike the time with the mexicana I fractionated and didnt burn the lead by being too keen. But, didn't get the lay. Walked her back to her car where she asked for another good night kiss.

When I originally met this woman, it was a night I was out with the Kazakh girl. There was instant chemistry, and with her approaching me (likely the pre-selection with the Kazakh girl helped), but I didn't close due the presence of Kazakh girl there. Second time I see this girl was a Saturday post-breakup, so this is when I # close.

After the # close, texting is good and her replies indicate high investment/interest. We get the date scheduled for tonight, and she agrees to drive out here and meet me. Perfect logistics, again.

I do another two-venue date. First venue, brewpub where we sit across from each other and eat food and have a drink. Second venue, lounge with afro-music and another round of drinks. I pay at both places (like most women, she does not reach for her purse when the check arrives.) Physical escalation with dancing at the second venue. I suggest the bounce-back and she agrees after some token resistance, like is typical.

We are at my place, and I put on music, and she dances with me some more. I go for the kiss and she accepts it without any problem, kisses back. Once the making out starts getting heavier though, she puts on the breaks. I fractionate, and I am carefree about it - I am genuinely having fun dancing and listening to music with her. So we kiss on and off, but its clear she wont let it progress further than that. She calls me a "naughty boy that should behave". After about 30-45 min, she says she has to go home and mealprep for the week. I walk her to her car and then she drives me back to my place, asking me to kiss her again. I do so.

That's it. A lot of things done right this time (asked for the bounceback, didnt burn the lead by being too keen - two mistakes avoided this time). So it's likely I will see this one again. I just wonder why I keep getting resistance from MOST women during my boucebacks - I always seem to give off the boyfriend vibe, somehow.

 

[Científico]

Drowning in work right now. Sometimes this job demands very long hours, and that can detract from my pickup and social activities. Haven't done any cold approaching since last week, and no new numbers since Saturday.

I decided to send a post-date text to the girl from Sunday, yesterday, and she replied warmly - but has since gone cold. I'm not too worried yet, I'll just reengage in 1-2 days. Following up on a couple of more leads tonight.

 

[Científico]

Last night was my second date with the woman I talk about two postings ago (Oct 20, Sunday date). It doesn't go great during the second venue, with cannabis messing with the vibe and me questioning if I am actually attracted to her. I do not get the lay and at this point the potential with her is substantially diminished.

Before getting her out on the date, she ends up being very responsive to my pings, and I get her on the phone to ask her out. In a funny conversation, she shoots down all my date ideas, and eventually I just settle on "hanging out in the city" for Saturday (yesterday).

Saturday comes, and she texts me around noon:

Hey I forgot I have tickets for xyz dancing event 4-9 pm

Here she is testing my frame. I dislike taking girls on dates dancing, where it is not about me and her and there are other people involved. And yet with these dancing girls I meet its hard to avoid. Double-edged sword about meeting girls this way.

I respond:

Científico: Yes I was looking at that tantalizing event this morning
Girl: You gonna meet me there.

I find it noteworthy that the "you gonna meet me there" was a statement, and not a question. I reply:

Científico: Okay my dear, if you insist

Later she texts me updates on her progress before we actually meet at the event. It is a dancing crowd with many faces I recognize, including other girls who I have number closed and been unable to get out on dates, and at least one girl I've had a failed date with. We are together on and off, with her going off dancing with other guys then coming back and me doing the same with girls. I was clearly "with" a date for the night of course, and people notice these things - it is good social proof if anything else.

This venue was probably the best part of the night, since I had two girls display some strong interest based on how I danced with them. The benefits of being a good dancer.

1.) A short girl of Russian origin that LOVED the sensual moves I often do in bachata - we were kissing each other on the cheeks, and she gave me her number when I asked.

2.) A little latina who after dancing with me started to introduce me to all her friends, some of them girls I had already met on the dance floor the same night. She was trying to sell another event afterwards to me, where she was going with her friends, and after I got her number texted me the address for the next venue she was going to. I did not reply to the message since I was busy, however I will follow up today with a phone call, or a text if she does not answer. It was a strong hook and I hope to pursue this lead today.

Eventually my date and I leave to go to another venue where nobody from the first venue had said they were going. She puts her hand on my arm as we are leaving the first venue which indicates some level of compliance. Before entering the second venue, my date lights up a bong in her car and offers me a hit. I accept, which ends up being a critical mistake. Certain cannabis strains make me socially awkward, and in this case it messed up my vibe with the girl. I end up in a mental state where I am questioning if I am even attracted to the girl, which problably would not have happened had I not been high. Of course she senses this and the vibe between us crashes.

On the car ride back, I spike it up with some comments about her costume, and she does kiss me back when I attempt it but refuses once more to go up to my apartment once we arrive.

Now that its been two dates without a successful close, I kinda doubt I am gonna get anywhere with this one. Thus another failed date - this time, the lesson is: dont smoke with girls until after you have had sex with them, or she is already turned on and ready to bang. It messes with my game abilities substantially.. I will see how responsive she is to text pings before attempting something again.

I do not have many other strong leads right now due to a very, very busy work week last week. Some limited cold approaching was done this weekend but no strong hooks/numbers. The focus of this week then is to get more leads via cold approach and other methods and build up the pipeline again. October is almost over and it has been a strong month in terms of number of dates, but unfortunately no successful closes and several leads burnt.

 

[Científico]

I decided to take a little break today after work and do some cold approaching in my local neighborhood, even though my local neighborhood is of suboptimal conditions when it comes to the quality of approachable women. I need more leads - have a few from dancing over the weekend, but I need more to maximize chances of a date within the coming week. Set a modest goal of 5 approaches, with low expectations, and gave myself roughly an hour.

I met my goal (did 6) but results were low - one blowout, one girl was too young, and 4 girls that simply would not hook - most of them icy receptions upon me approaching them.

As I look at the numbers from October, one thing is clear: my results are going down. In August, I did 35 approaches and got 11 numbers (around 31%, not too bad at all - almost 1/3, and close to what the best daygamers claim). My best month so far.

In contrast, in October, I have done 78 approaches, and have 12 numbers (~15%, basically half!!). Interestingly, my rate of blowouts (where the girl simply ignores me), is also down slightly, but it might not be significant.

I don't have much of an explanation for what might be going on. September was a similar month in terms of low numbers/hook rates. If my numbers do not uptick back to 25-30% in the coming months, it might actually be evidence of a bad habit I have formed and havent been able to detect. The one bright spot from October is how far I got with that mexicana that I snatched off the street and took on two dates, and ended up in my apartment - that was the first instance of that in my daygame career.

I briefly considered this morning getting back into online dating, but rejected the idea. I hate trading messages with girls on apps like all the chumps and much prefer the art of street hustling, or hustling at bars and meetups. Anyone can create a profile and send lame messages, only the greatest of men can approach women in person and seduce them. I intend to reach that goal (mexicana showed me it is very much within reach), and online dating will not help me there.

I will problably try to salvage one of these last days of October to do a proper 10-approach session in one of my favorite parts of the city.

 

[Científico]

I'm a pensive mood tonight - basically reflecting on my life, happiness, sex, love, and career. I still feel a bit stuck in my early 30s, especially when I reflect on the days pre-2014 when I was bedding some very attractive girls in my early 20s. I was accomplishing this successfully, even with more limited knowledge of game and pickup, and no daygame to speak of. They say a guys SMV peaks in his late 30s - in this case, why is it that I was getting laid so much more often before my 4-year LTR than I am now?

Just as a mental exercise and for documentation, I decided to start writing down some of the lay stories from those grad school years (2009-2014) that I remember. Makes them seem more real, and they are proof that I can be the type of guy I want to be again. They are below.

- Petite softcore porn star with big fake tits, problably sometime in 2012. I can still google this girl’s fake public name and find pictures of her. Met her at an old Friday night dancing venue, where I used to live. Was dancing very sensually so I kissed her, even though I was with another girl at the time that was substantially less attractive. Got her number, and later got her out on a date at a pub, before taking her back to my place, dancing naked, and fucking her.

Later on, another day, another horny guy tried to seduce the girl in front of me, he would not go away, and I ended up giving him a decent shot at it and leaving him alone with her (my frame was too weak). I never saw her again.

- Salsa girl I met one night at a Tuesday night venue in 2011. Took her on a date swing dancing, at a venue close to my apartment, then invited her in afterwards and fucked her on the first date. I still remember the token LMR while we are on my couch and I am kissing her like crazy.
Her - “I don’t know…..”
Me – “I’ll only call you 18 times after this”
Her – “who am I kidding……”

The sex is still problably some of the hottest I’ve ever had. She loved to squirt when she orgasmed, made loud sex noises, and demanded me to cum. We dated for a month after that and I got very addicted, and needy, losing the frame and was absolutely devastated when she dumped me. I took me a long time to get over her.

- Crazy girl I met on OkCupid in 2010. Fucked her on the second date. Another girl that loved to scream during sex, so loud that I was afraid neighbors would hear. Also was a potential threesome opportunity as she was attracted to girls and remarked that we should try to go to the gay bar and pick one up. Eventually she lost interest but I don’t remember the exact circumstances, nor do I remember caring that much.

- Overweight girl that I met on OKC, also in 2010. HUGE tits. Took her out dancing, then took her home and fucked. I remember the sex being very hot with me playing with those monster tits and remarking to her she should start a dairy farm, and orgasms at the same time.

- And another OKC girl from 2010 or 2011. One night stand. Took her to a brewpub on the first date, then home, and we fucked on my futon and fell asleep after we were done. Ended up driving her back to her car the next morning, never saw her again.

- Bisexual friend that I had sex with, problably in 2010. We went out for whiskey one day and somehow ended up having sex in my apartment, the circumstances of which I don’t remember clearly. I just remember it was drunk sex all over the place, on the stairs, on the floor, on the futon, etc. She left around 6 am the next morning.

Funny thing is, I am still friends with this woman. We never fucked after that but we remained friends, and now she is married to a woman. Speak to her about this now and she would problably deny it and pretend not to remember.

- Another bisexual girl, not the hottest girl I’ve ever screwed but I remember her wanting it one night after a night of drinking (and me somehow ending up back at her place with some friends of hers), that I just walked right over and started kissing her and we ended up fucking. Huge clitoris, something I’ve never seen again. Another threesome opportunity – I remember her clearly remarking she had had a threesome with two other girls before and wanted to try with a guy (me) and a girl. Could have had it one night had I led properly and taken her and her friend home from a bar, but another guy stole her friend at the last minute. Eventually the relationship fizzled.

- Older sexy MILF I met at a vegan meetup. This was in 2014 I believe, since it was right before I got with my 4-year LTR. Turned up the heat so much on the first date that it ended up turning her on and wanting it on the second date. I finally got her out on a second date and made out with her in a fury of passion on the street, in her car, and finally amazing passionate sex at her place in various locations/positions (so much that we broke glasswear and knocked over furniture). Decided to dump her afterwards to become exclusive with my soon-to-be GF, and she was upset.

- Mexican girl I met at a Spanish meetup. Took her out on a date drinking, and then back to her place for sex. I remember her puking from the alcohol but we fucked anyway (don’t remember if it was before or after the puking).

- Overweight black woman I met online, took out to a bar, and fucked at her place afterwards. She made me cum very quickly in doggystyle and I don’t remember her minding at all. She was also a bit upset when I decided not to see her again.

- MILF I met at salsa, maybe in 2012? hung out at her place for a party where she invited many people. The entire time she was throwing compliments my way, which I correctly interpreted as IOIs. This was another potential threesome opportunity (that I screwed up) as I remember being too drunk to drive and her offering her place for me to crash, and another girl being in the same situation. Drunk, I go over to the kitchen while she is cleaning and suddenly start escalating, and she is receptive – I fuck her on her kitchen counter. The other girl knows what is going on in the other room and quietly sneaks out.

- Another Salsa MILF. Maybe 2012 or 2013. I invite her to come back to mine “for ice-cream”, which she accepts, and she drives 20-30 minutes behind me to my place. We have sex, and I remember it being quite good – she had a great body for an older woman.

There are likely more stories I cant remember right now.

In 2014 - 2018, I was officially in my LTR. I cheated on my girlfriend only once. The girl was of chinese origin, swedish raised, that took a liking to me after I approached her at a bar one afternoon while we were in-line waiting for drinks. Took her out for drinks a different night, I escalated, we rode our bicycles back to my place for sex. Unfortunately it was not great sex and she didnt want to see me again.

After breaking up with my girlfriend in around April/May 2018, I only have three lays. They are below.

- Salsa MILF. Similar story as before. I asked if she wanted to come home and she said yes. She was very horny and loved sex. Wanted to fuck again the next day but logistically it was difficult for me. She lost interest after that

- Mexican lady friend I met online and met in Mexico City. Fucked on second date. Mentioned her before in this journal.

- Kazakh girl, of course.

 

[ElderPrice]

They say a guys SMV peaks in his late 30s - in this case, why is it that I was getting laid so much more often before my 4-year LTR than I am now?

You know perfectly well that there are countless variables that can explain this that have absolutely nothing to do with age.

I think the highest level advice would be to keep working on /modifying your fundamentals until you start seeing the results you want.

 

[Científico]

I think the highest level advice would be to keep working on /modifying your fundamentals until you start seeing the results you want.

Thanks Elder - I am working on it as always.

Right now main sticking points:

1.) Low #/hook rate from cold approach, something which appears to have decreased since the summer. I might hire a coach to go over some of my in-field audios.
2.) LMR. As I will detail in my next post, I seem to have few problems now getting dates and achieving the bounce-back to my apartment. But once at my place, most girls just seem to put me in this boyfriend "make him wait" box.

 

[Científico]

This was a good weekend overall, despite a not-so-fruitful daygame outing yesterday, since I was able to convert two more leads from October into dates, making it a strong month in terms of girls I've been going out with. But it's led to the identification of another sticking point - LMR. It's a common theme with all these recent dates I've been having.

1.) Last night, I had a date with the Russian dancer whose number I got last week while I was on the other date with the American girl. The texting was easy, and she agreed to come out to my neighborhood on the promise of afro-lounges (of which there are plenty here). Once again, perfect logistics - third time this month!

I do another two-venue date set up, two lounges. The first venue was loud with lots of people, and we drink (she pays!)/dance there for a bit before moving on to another venue that was more low-key. The DJ noticed how we were dancing with each other and actually started putting on our type of music. In general we were the stars of the night, with other people at the bar noticing us and coming up to give us compliments. It was several hours of fun with a great girl that knew how to move her body.

I successfully get the bounce-back with no resistance, but of course once at my place she refuses to escalate anything past kissing. In fact it was difficult to get her to kiss initially, until my persistence/tenderness eventually got her to kiss me back very passionately. She was drunk so I told her not to drive back and stay with me. She accepted but "only if I behave". We kiss and caress each other to sleep. In the morning the resistance remains - she maintained that she is still in the "getting to know me" phase, despite my attempts at turning her on by kissing many parts of her body, she told me "please dont get me excited".

I make her coffee, we chat, and then I walk her back out to her car. Foiled again by LMR. There must be some reason why these girls keep putting me into the boyfriend box instead of the lover box, and I need to figure out why. Although, it's possible that most girls simply do require more than one date before you get the lay, despite all the field reports here that show the contrary.

I was thinking about whether or not to send her a post-date text --- but lo and behold, 60 minutes after we part I get one from her, telling me how she had a great time with me and enjoyed my company. The resulting exchange gives me a fairly clear indication she would like a date #2.

After I leave the Russian dancer, I get in my car and drive to meet with the second date of the weekend.

2.) Today's date was with a little Vietnamese girl I approached several weeks ago at a train station, a pure daygame lead. I drive 45 minutes or so to meet her at a neighboring city where she lives. She appears looking dolled up with nice hair and a tight dress, better than when I approached her (this is a cool phenomenon with daygame- the girls you think are cute are actually average when you approach, and when they show up to the date they look like they have upgraded).

We make lighthearted conversation at the coffee shop where I met her and have some food together (I pay). Then we go for a nice walk for 1-2 hours in her city before she has to go work at her restaurant job. She was even more conservative than the Russian - even hand holding/touching she was not super comfortable with. But, a lot of smiling from her with deep eye contact. I would be surprised if I do not get date #2 here as well.

 

[Científico]

Have not updated in 10 days - it's just been crazy, mostly with work, but also with a personal trip this past weekend (a very interesting one, but which I will not comment about on this journal).

Haven't cold approached in over a week. Like I said, quite busy with work - and things are going well. Five months into my last company things were already going south. Now with this company, 5 months in, it feels like things are just getting started. Things are going well professionally.

The workload is intense however, especially lately. I have not been able to focus on pick-up. The extent of my game during this time has been following up on old leads. The main ones are:
- The Russian dancer, who was being genuine and a bit flaky (by her own admission). Decided to call off the date we were thinking about doing this weekend due to her wishy-washy behavior, but will follow up later.
- The American girl I went on two dates with and got me high last time. She is still pinging me back sporadically (against my expectations)
- The cute Vietnamese girl I approached at a train station and went on one coffee/walking date with last week.

Plus several others. There really is no shortage of leads!

However, part of me feels a bit burnt out these days to be quite frank. For some reason, the desire to cold approach, or to go out dancing and be social, and to follow up on leads and get dates seems to be slipping. This might be due to bad habits (masturbation) but I also believe burnout might be from the fact that I go on so many dates yet get so little lays. The desire to deal with the process of actually seducing a woman, to deal with what will likely be a failure, takes it's toll. I am finding that with some of these girls that I feel mediocre about, I am not even following up as much as I should to actually get the date.

I am considering taking a break for a while and focusing on quality rather than quantity - as in, only cold approaching when I am very, very intruiged, and only following up on leads that I am truly excited about. Then, once we are at the new year starting fresh and giving it my 100% again.

Right after Thanksgiving at my parents, I have another trip to Europe planned in only a few weeks that will break up any dating timelines that I have going on at home anyway. This will involve a visit to Sweden (where I used to live, and to meet up with a girl I met under special circumstances) AND St. Petersburg, Russia - my first time trying cold approach there will for SURE be interesting.

 

[Científico]

Took a break yesterday, Saturday, from my swimming in work to go out and be social. Did all three of my lead-generating activities, daygame, happyhour/meetup, and dancing.

1.) Daygame session

Went to my favorite place in the city, where I have identified has high volume with lots of attractive girls. My only issue was the timing - it was starting to get dark as I arrived since its winter and the days are short (and cold).

Following a coaching session with someone I hired (known to this board), I have been focusing on the following changes:

a.) Eliminating nervous self-laughter
b.) More pausing
c.) Less jumping around in between topics/threads, focus on adding value when she gives me topic instead (with stories).
d.) Doing less of the front stop and more approaching from in front/looking over the shoulder to moving targets (still not sure about this one, but I am trying the experiment).

Did 6 approaches, 1 blowout, 4 that listened to my pitch and contributed to conversation but wouldn't hook, and 1 very friendly cute chinese girl that did hook but would not give me her contact info.

It felt good to be out there regardless of the low return, since its been ~ two weeks since my last approach. Still need more volume to see how these changes effect my game. I realize I really need to do it more often and get more into the habit of approaching consistently in all locations when I see a girl I want to met, just like I have stated before. It's simply a mindset issue I still need to get over.

2.) Happy hour. Same story here as always. Two cute latinas who gave me their numbers, one hondureña who appeared quite interested but my interest is lukewarm, and another colombiana who is super attractive but I sense her interest is lukewarm. Will ping both, focus on the colombiana.

3.) Dancing - the american girl met up with me there. By agreeing to meet her there I was really setting the wrong frame, since she had ignored my alternative date request before but continued to ping me until I agreed to go dancing. It's been a frame battle with her, which I lost, since I've fallen into the "dancing partner" frame rather than "lover" frame.

To be honest, I dont care that much. The same feelings came back as last time, with me questioning my attraction to her. It's so funny since I was so attracted when I first met her, and now that is all gone. I dont mind keeping her around as a friend and for social proof at these venues, but by the end of the night I had decided I wasnt going to try to pull - I'm not even sure I would have gotten hard for her.

The Russian dancer was also there (one part of this dancing game - you run into the same girls you are involved with at the same time). She was by herself and honestly looked a bit dejected. I danced with her, held her tenderly and kissed her several times on the cheek - but I decided not to attempt to pull her when I was "with" the american girl. I'll ping her back later to try to get date #2 with her. She left early.

The most beautiful part of the night was my interaction with this Ecuadorian cutie. I pulled her out onto the dance floor, noticed how she cute she was and told her so - she loved it. I asked her out and she accepted and gave me her number. Then we danced more later on, I told her she dances beautiful and makes me smile - she beamed. As she left with her friend she was flashing me IOIs while I was with the american girl. She has already responded to my icebreaker text.

There was also a romanian hottie I should have # closed but for whatever reason didn't.

To round it out, I also found this cat-like blonde MILF that has been semi on radar the past few weeks/months. She agreed to a date next weekend, since we might go to the same festival .

Thus my Saturday. Same themes as always - abundance of leads, no problems getting dates really, just need to work on stacking/vibing properly during daygame interactions, opening and closing more consistently, controlling the frame, focusing on the girls I truly desire.