- Joined
- Jul 31, 2023
- Messages
- 403
Intro
Let’s do a recap of this week, I did a number of approaches, most daygame either street strops or stationary, and some in nightgame at some clubs I went to.
For the total number maybe around 50 again. I could have done even more but I have stopped running around and trying to approach attractive girls that are walking fast or seem more occupied, unless I really find them hot.
Maybe I should be a bit more commanding though, especially when approaching close to bus or train stations. I’ve had some situations where I approached and the girl had to get into the public transport in a minute and I just let her go. Good for non neediness and abundance mentality, but not that good for closing and getting results.
Let’s go to the results now. It is the sexual report I wrote, one instant date that ended up in friendzone, about 5 numbers, and 2 cancelled dates.
Towards being genuinely sexual
I won’t write much more about the report, it was fun, no sex which makes it feel like something was missing, but at least it was an experience.
Something I want to note is that I feel that many girls seem to end up really liking me after spending more close time with me. I mean that after they are attracted to me and pass the initial stage of feeling like I am a player and just want sex, they seem to really appreciate my genuine nature.
Not even sure what to make of this exactly, because it doesn’t seem to be connected at all with having sex eventually. I wonder if it is a sign that I should be more genuine up front or even the opposite that I should be way more fuckboish in order to get them to bed and not have them get so connected to me.
The thing is I like being genuine and showing my attraction, but most of the times it either leads to instant rejection or to some way deeper connection than I am even going for. It has to do with the lack of sexual energy I mentioned lately, I can feel it that my initial vibe comes off way less as someone that is going to fuck you and more as someone that is gonna look at your soul deeply.
Insta date
And that takes me to the instant date that turned into a friendzone. I went to buy some sausage from a place and there was a girl pretty classy, with straight black hair, and a big tattoo of a woman’s face on her arm, sitting outside at a table by herself. I opened her with something like that she looked sweet and badass at the same time, she looked receptive, so invited myself to join her at the table.
We sat there, she told me most of the times people get intimidated and don’t approach her, she did look like the bitchy kind before talking, but generally she was very relaxed and spiritual. Her whole vibe was just chilling around during the day and enjoying the sun, she was talking about godly energies and astrology, I am not big into that at all but I appreciated how in tune to herself she was.
At some point she told me herself to go get some sweet after the food, I took it as a good sign, probably that she felt connected, because most people don’t see her for who she is. So we bought something and went to sit somewhere else to eat it. More connecting there, I was trying to give small touches and ramp things up but I wasn’t really feeling her, it was somehow off.
After a bit we got up and started walking. We arrived at a place with grass and laid there, I was making small efforts to tease and microescalate, she asked me to put some music, I was still feeling that there is a wall, but was staying to see if she would just warm up gradually, I couldn’t feel any progress though.
We went and put our feet into the lake and then sat outside and that’s when I asked her about what she likes in men. And she told me that she likes older guys, I am younger, and that she has daddy issues and has a boyfriend that really loves and is inspired by, and that she really likes how chill I am, and we can be good friends.
I though about it a bit, whether there was something else I could do, but eventually I just told her that I don’t see this working, as I like her a bit too much for that. We sat and talked a bit more and then walked back before parting ways.
It was an interesting experience, mostly to realise that I should be screening women way earlier. It just didn’t cross my mind that she would hang out with me that much and even propose it herself if she did have a boyfriend she was really into. I suppose I seemed so harmless that she immediately felt we could chill and vibe as friends.
I should have just gotten into sexual and man to woman topics way earlier, didn’t go all in at it, because I thought she just needed more time to warm and open up to me, but really it’s better to polarise and get somewhere fast or leave than waste your time, especially when you feel that something is off.
First Number: Big girl from street
The other numbers I got didn’t seem very promising apart from one. This is a big girl, meaning tall with a big build, I passed next to her and she was wearing high heels so she was towering me, but honestly that’s totally my type.
She was walking with a friend around the night life area of the city and I simply stopped her and told her she looked so elegant, somehow femininely classy. In fact I had seen her profile in a dating app but didn’t like it that much, up close though she really made me feel something.
We just exchanged names, I saw a spark in her eyes too, and asked her if she is single in any way shape or form. She asked if I wanted her number, I told her yes, that I have another place I am going now, but I’d like to catch up some other time. We exchanged numbers and said our goodbyes.
Today she replied to my initial text telling me she realised we had met previously. In fact we were part of the same activity group few years ago and she sent me a pic with both of us together. Told her about how small the world is, we exchanged few messages, she told me she liked how much of a gentleman I was and that guys usually don’t approach her, and after I said I like being true to myself and if there is appreciation getting to know someone, she told me herself that she would be free for dinner these days.
I will be away though for the next two weeks, so we basically talked about having the dinner when we are both back. I also asked if she is more into cooking or 5 course restaurants, to see if she is ready to just go home right away, and she told me she prefers that I introduce her to a nice place outside, so I told her we’ll find that.
Second Number: Brazilian from club
Another approach was around when a club I went to was closing, I was at the outside smoking area and two girls were talking. I had seen them dancing earlier inside, one was pretty cute and hottish so I opened her direct. Then we spent some time talking casually the three of us, nothing too crazy, maybe some tiny teases, but mostly normal talk. I was feeling that my girl was open though in some way.
At some point another quite loud guy came in asking about where they are from and talking to them. It was interesting because another girl also came to talk to me around the same time, so I had some fun teasing her while the other girls were talking to the guy. At some point he made a comment about how my girl who was brazilian must be good at football. I looked at her a bit and laughed, showed her legs telling her how strong they looked, and it felt a bit like we had our own code in the middle of all this. At the same time the other guy was sitting very close to her, but she was having quite closed off body language.
Eventually the guy left with her friend to go get their coats, and I turned from the girl I was talking to, to the brazilian girl to show her I am interested in her. Asked what was the plan, they were going to grab a bite so I proposed we exchange numbers as I wanted to go home. We did, her friend did come back in the middle though asking me if I am married because of the fake ring. Told them no, and explained about my theater play and also told my girl to check the original story while she was leaving.
Then I stayed a bit more outside and talked to the girl that came to talk to me earlier, her twin came as well, they had a vibe but it was more fun and party, although I was kinda feeling it with the twin. My brazilian girl passed nearby after a bit and probably saw us all there so not sure if that was good or not. Anyway after a bit these girls were planning to go with the DJ and some others to another party, so I tried to just grab a number, and then I was like screw it and went for a kiss which she rejected telling me she had a boyfriend she loved. I let them get to their taxi and went home myself.
The brazilian girl hasn’t responded to my icebreaker after a day which is a bit sad, but mostly I want to know if I could have done anything better. I suppose if I was more open to grabbing food with them or even inviting myself to the afterparty, the night could have worked out differently. I don’t think any of them would have outright rejected me, I was pretty chill, it’s just that after a bunch of times of spending time with girls in these kind of nighttime scenarios, either grabbing food with them, or going to another party, I feel that these things don’t translate to results much, and it’s more that you spend time that leads nowhere.
Maybe it’s still better than going home though, to just live the night and take it as far as possible. There was a payment issue as well because I wasn’t in the mood to either buy food, drinks or pay for an entrance to another place or a taxi, so these random extra costs do keep me from being truly spontaneous and not caring sometimes during my approaches.
Anyway the one pure night pull from a club I’ve had was when I did follow a girl to a second club she wanted to go for an afterparty, and then at some point she simply told me she was tired and wanted to go home so I pulled her. That is to say that moving from one venue to another and spending more time with the girl during the night can open up opportunities, so I should start going for that more, at least in ways that don’t seem like I am just following them around.
More approaches
I also approached a girl a night earlier. She was in the same club with me and then I found her waiting with her friend at the train station so opened her there. We were going to the same direction so took the same train. I am pretty sure she liked me, I invited her home in fact but she was telling me she was heart-broken and couldn’t do it, and her mind was still in the previous guy. I kept inviting her telling her I just want to make her feel good, but she didn’t come eventually.
That’s a girl that was looking around a lot inside the club, the typical girl that seemed like she was searching for a guy, so I wanted to see what her real vibe was. I was a bit surprised that she told me she didn’t want to meet anyone, I guess maybe she was in the mood physically but was holding herself back, can’t say for sure, didn’t manage to break through it though.
Another interesting approach was a girl at another club, she was standing with her back at the bar, facing the crowd with another girl next to her talking. I opened her quite directly and talked to them for a bit, she was leaning in and talking to my ear as I was pointing to it due to the loud music, and it was feeling that there was some potential interest.
I kinda screwed it up though because when she asked where I am from she gave me a little slap on the hand somehow, and wanting to be playful I went to give her a small one back, but didn’t calibrate it well at all and the slap ended up being pretty strong. It was instant autorejection after that, she turned her body away and told me if I don’t speak her language I can just leave.
Not sure if saying sorry would have helped, maybe would have made sense at least, it’s probably one of the times that saying sorry is a good move, but I didn’t do it thinking I had to keep looking dominant for some reason. So this one was a real shame.
One thing to note here is that I can feel I get in a different let’s be way more dominant and commanding space especially inside night venues or with very hot girls outside. It’s because I have felt that simply opening seems to not be making a impact, so I am going for something stronger. I do feel though that probably most girls can sense it is a bit of a front. So I have to figure out how to come off as more commanding and someone worthy of their attention but in a more natural way.
Flakes
I’ll finish with the two flakes. The first one was a girl from cold approach that also texted me after that, wanted to reschedule, but I told her I’ll be away and we can do when I am back. She has been keeping some contact herself so I believe it may happen eventually.
The other girl was from online. Very eager to meet right from the start, very little messaging, then she just told me in the morning that she didn’t wake up well and asked if we can meet when I am back. Told her to take care of herself and it’s fine, and no idea about this, I will send her again but who knows.
Conclusions
All in all, just by putting myself out there I do get some things happening, it does feel very inconsistent though. Especially for night time it makes sense because I don’t have a very specific place I go with a very specific process I follow. I think I also enjoy less and less the louder clubs, I like dancing, but opening while dancing has never been something easy for me, I prefer talking way more. It’s also difficult because beyond being polite getting substantial interactions in these environments feels really hard. Most girls don’t even seem to be responsive to the openers.
At least with daygame the same thing is happening, most girls are uninterested or just polite, but simply by approaching more and more I do meet some that I can see are open for things to happen, and it’s not so easy to create negative social proof or burn down the venue.
In order to really be effective in both, fixing my vibe and adjusting it to the situation and what I want is the most important thing to do. And also pushing more for the results, not letting seductions go that much, and insist that I see things through the end.
I feel I have reached a fairly good point of non-neediness and being chill around attractive women, so I can focus more on being more dominant when it comes to getting what I want with them, while not losing this relaxed vibe.
The point is not to not need women at all and not care about any results. It’s to go after the results and want the women knowing that even if I don’t get them, I will be fine.
Let’s do a recap of this week, I did a number of approaches, most daygame either street strops or stationary, and some in nightgame at some clubs I went to.
For the total number maybe around 50 again. I could have done even more but I have stopped running around and trying to approach attractive girls that are walking fast or seem more occupied, unless I really find them hot.
Maybe I should be a bit more commanding though, especially when approaching close to bus or train stations. I’ve had some situations where I approached and the girl had to get into the public transport in a minute and I just let her go. Good for non neediness and abundance mentality, but not that good for closing and getting results.
Let’s go to the results now. It is the sexual report I wrote, one instant date that ended up in friendzone, about 5 numbers, and 2 cancelled dates.
Towards being genuinely sexual
I won’t write much more about the report, it was fun, no sex which makes it feel like something was missing, but at least it was an experience.
Something I want to note is that I feel that many girls seem to end up really liking me after spending more close time with me. I mean that after they are attracted to me and pass the initial stage of feeling like I am a player and just want sex, they seem to really appreciate my genuine nature.
Not even sure what to make of this exactly, because it doesn’t seem to be connected at all with having sex eventually. I wonder if it is a sign that I should be more genuine up front or even the opposite that I should be way more fuckboish in order to get them to bed and not have them get so connected to me.
The thing is I like being genuine and showing my attraction, but most of the times it either leads to instant rejection or to some way deeper connection than I am even going for. It has to do with the lack of sexual energy I mentioned lately, I can feel it that my initial vibe comes off way less as someone that is going to fuck you and more as someone that is gonna look at your soul deeply.
Insta date
And that takes me to the instant date that turned into a friendzone. I went to buy some sausage from a place and there was a girl pretty classy, with straight black hair, and a big tattoo of a woman’s face on her arm, sitting outside at a table by herself. I opened her with something like that she looked sweet and badass at the same time, she looked receptive, so invited myself to join her at the table.
We sat there, she told me most of the times people get intimidated and don’t approach her, she did look like the bitchy kind before talking, but generally she was very relaxed and spiritual. Her whole vibe was just chilling around during the day and enjoying the sun, she was talking about godly energies and astrology, I am not big into that at all but I appreciated how in tune to herself she was.
At some point she told me herself to go get some sweet after the food, I took it as a good sign, probably that she felt connected, because most people don’t see her for who she is. So we bought something and went to sit somewhere else to eat it. More connecting there, I was trying to give small touches and ramp things up but I wasn’t really feeling her, it was somehow off.
After a bit we got up and started walking. We arrived at a place with grass and laid there, I was making small efforts to tease and microescalate, she asked me to put some music, I was still feeling that there is a wall, but was staying to see if she would just warm up gradually, I couldn’t feel any progress though.
We went and put our feet into the lake and then sat outside and that’s when I asked her about what she likes in men. And she told me that she likes older guys, I am younger, and that she has daddy issues and has a boyfriend that really loves and is inspired by, and that she really likes how chill I am, and we can be good friends.
I though about it a bit, whether there was something else I could do, but eventually I just told her that I don’t see this working, as I like her a bit too much for that. We sat and talked a bit more and then walked back before parting ways.
It was an interesting experience, mostly to realise that I should be screening women way earlier. It just didn’t cross my mind that she would hang out with me that much and even propose it herself if she did have a boyfriend she was really into. I suppose I seemed so harmless that she immediately felt we could chill and vibe as friends.
I should have just gotten into sexual and man to woman topics way earlier, didn’t go all in at it, because I thought she just needed more time to warm and open up to me, but really it’s better to polarise and get somewhere fast or leave than waste your time, especially when you feel that something is off.
First Number: Big girl from street
The other numbers I got didn’t seem very promising apart from one. This is a big girl, meaning tall with a big build, I passed next to her and she was wearing high heels so she was towering me, but honestly that’s totally my type.
She was walking with a friend around the night life area of the city and I simply stopped her and told her she looked so elegant, somehow femininely classy. In fact I had seen her profile in a dating app but didn’t like it that much, up close though she really made me feel something.
We just exchanged names, I saw a spark in her eyes too, and asked her if she is single in any way shape or form. She asked if I wanted her number, I told her yes, that I have another place I am going now, but I’d like to catch up some other time. We exchanged numbers and said our goodbyes.
Today she replied to my initial text telling me she realised we had met previously. In fact we were part of the same activity group few years ago and she sent me a pic with both of us together. Told her about how small the world is, we exchanged few messages, she told me she liked how much of a gentleman I was and that guys usually don’t approach her, and after I said I like being true to myself and if there is appreciation getting to know someone, she told me herself that she would be free for dinner these days.
I will be away though for the next two weeks, so we basically talked about having the dinner when we are both back. I also asked if she is more into cooking or 5 course restaurants, to see if she is ready to just go home right away, and she told me she prefers that I introduce her to a nice place outside, so I told her we’ll find that.
Second Number: Brazilian from club
Another approach was around when a club I went to was closing, I was at the outside smoking area and two girls were talking. I had seen them dancing earlier inside, one was pretty cute and hottish so I opened her direct. Then we spent some time talking casually the three of us, nothing too crazy, maybe some tiny teases, but mostly normal talk. I was feeling that my girl was open though in some way.
At some point another quite loud guy came in asking about where they are from and talking to them. It was interesting because another girl also came to talk to me around the same time, so I had some fun teasing her while the other girls were talking to the guy. At some point he made a comment about how my girl who was brazilian must be good at football. I looked at her a bit and laughed, showed her legs telling her how strong they looked, and it felt a bit like we had our own code in the middle of all this. At the same time the other guy was sitting very close to her, but she was having quite closed off body language.
Eventually the guy left with her friend to go get their coats, and I turned from the girl I was talking to, to the brazilian girl to show her I am interested in her. Asked what was the plan, they were going to grab a bite so I proposed we exchange numbers as I wanted to go home. We did, her friend did come back in the middle though asking me if I am married because of the fake ring. Told them no, and explained about my theater play and also told my girl to check the original story while she was leaving.
Then I stayed a bit more outside and talked to the girl that came to talk to me earlier, her twin came as well, they had a vibe but it was more fun and party, although I was kinda feeling it with the twin. My brazilian girl passed nearby after a bit and probably saw us all there so not sure if that was good or not. Anyway after a bit these girls were planning to go with the DJ and some others to another party, so I tried to just grab a number, and then I was like screw it and went for a kiss which she rejected telling me she had a boyfriend she loved. I let them get to their taxi and went home myself.
The brazilian girl hasn’t responded to my icebreaker after a day which is a bit sad, but mostly I want to know if I could have done anything better. I suppose if I was more open to grabbing food with them or even inviting myself to the afterparty, the night could have worked out differently. I don’t think any of them would have outright rejected me, I was pretty chill, it’s just that after a bunch of times of spending time with girls in these kind of nighttime scenarios, either grabbing food with them, or going to another party, I feel that these things don’t translate to results much, and it’s more that you spend time that leads nowhere.
Maybe it’s still better than going home though, to just live the night and take it as far as possible. There was a payment issue as well because I wasn’t in the mood to either buy food, drinks or pay for an entrance to another place or a taxi, so these random extra costs do keep me from being truly spontaneous and not caring sometimes during my approaches.
Anyway the one pure night pull from a club I’ve had was when I did follow a girl to a second club she wanted to go for an afterparty, and then at some point she simply told me she was tired and wanted to go home so I pulled her. That is to say that moving from one venue to another and spending more time with the girl during the night can open up opportunities, so I should start going for that more, at least in ways that don’t seem like I am just following them around.
More approaches
I also approached a girl a night earlier. She was in the same club with me and then I found her waiting with her friend at the train station so opened her there. We were going to the same direction so took the same train. I am pretty sure she liked me, I invited her home in fact but she was telling me she was heart-broken and couldn’t do it, and her mind was still in the previous guy. I kept inviting her telling her I just want to make her feel good, but she didn’t come eventually.
That’s a girl that was looking around a lot inside the club, the typical girl that seemed like she was searching for a guy, so I wanted to see what her real vibe was. I was a bit surprised that she told me she didn’t want to meet anyone, I guess maybe she was in the mood physically but was holding herself back, can’t say for sure, didn’t manage to break through it though.
Another interesting approach was a girl at another club, she was standing with her back at the bar, facing the crowd with another girl next to her talking. I opened her quite directly and talked to them for a bit, she was leaning in and talking to my ear as I was pointing to it due to the loud music, and it was feeling that there was some potential interest.
I kinda screwed it up though because when she asked where I am from she gave me a little slap on the hand somehow, and wanting to be playful I went to give her a small one back, but didn’t calibrate it well at all and the slap ended up being pretty strong. It was instant autorejection after that, she turned her body away and told me if I don’t speak her language I can just leave.
Not sure if saying sorry would have helped, maybe would have made sense at least, it’s probably one of the times that saying sorry is a good move, but I didn’t do it thinking I had to keep looking dominant for some reason. So this one was a real shame.
One thing to note here is that I can feel I get in a different let’s be way more dominant and commanding space especially inside night venues or with very hot girls outside. It’s because I have felt that simply opening seems to not be making a impact, so I am going for something stronger. I do feel though that probably most girls can sense it is a bit of a front. So I have to figure out how to come off as more commanding and someone worthy of their attention but in a more natural way.
Flakes
I’ll finish with the two flakes. The first one was a girl from cold approach that also texted me after that, wanted to reschedule, but I told her I’ll be away and we can do when I am back. She has been keeping some contact herself so I believe it may happen eventually.
The other girl was from online. Very eager to meet right from the start, very little messaging, then she just told me in the morning that she didn’t wake up well and asked if we can meet when I am back. Told her to take care of herself and it’s fine, and no idea about this, I will send her again but who knows.
Conclusions
All in all, just by putting myself out there I do get some things happening, it does feel very inconsistent though. Especially for night time it makes sense because I don’t have a very specific place I go with a very specific process I follow. I think I also enjoy less and less the louder clubs, I like dancing, but opening while dancing has never been something easy for me, I prefer talking way more. It’s also difficult because beyond being polite getting substantial interactions in these environments feels really hard. Most girls don’t even seem to be responsive to the openers.
At least with daygame the same thing is happening, most girls are uninterested or just polite, but simply by approaching more and more I do meet some that I can see are open for things to happen, and it’s not so easy to create negative social proof or burn down the venue.
In order to really be effective in both, fixing my vibe and adjusting it to the situation and what I want is the most important thing to do. And also pushing more for the results, not letting seductions go that much, and insist that I see things through the end.
I feel I have reached a fairly good point of non-neediness and being chill around attractive women, so I can focus more on being more dominant when it comes to getting what I want with them, while not losing this relaxed vibe.
The point is not to not need women at all and not care about any results. It’s to go after the results and want the women knowing that even if I don’t get them, I will be fine.
