Diary of an explorer

[ChrisXKiss]

Day 3

Waking up after at most 2-3 hours of sleep I was feeling a mix of insane fatigue with some form of completeness, since I had at least gotten a lay. Can’t say I was very motivated to keep approaching, but pushed myself to do it anyway.

At the same time I also had two girls I was texting sporadically. The club girl from day 1 and the metro girl from day 2. Neither of them was a sure date, but both felt workable.

Date plans

Oh and does it seem like I am forgetting someone? That’s because I kinda did lol. As I was sightseeing around I received a message by the late night girl of the first day telling me she thought I would message her. In fact after my first message when we exchanged numbers she never answered, so I never sent anything after that. I told her that, and that I thought she changed her mind, and she said I shouldn’t have assumed but should have sent her.

And she had a very good point, I mishandled it. I told her it was my mistake and I was sorry, and then as I was fighting myself not to double text she asked me how my days had been, so I relaxed. I asked her back, she said her day wasn’t exciting or interesting, so I told her that’s how it goes sometimes it just needs some chill time with good company. At that point she asked me what was my plan for the next day, so I thought it was on.

My plan was a day trip that she couldn’t join because of work, and at some point I asked her the plan for that night. She said she was going to take a walk by the sea, I told her she should have invited me, she said she was going there after work and thought would be late for me . I told her it’s fine, she again said it’s gonna be late and asked if I want to come, I said yes and we planned it.

In the meantime I had some interestingly silly exchange with the girl from the club. She was telling me that she was super tired, I asked if she wanted a lullaby, she told me she had already slept, so I said she needs a wake up song, she agreed and asked me to record her one, I told her that my voice gets distorted and it’s better up close, she gave a laugh reaction and said: So?, and I responded: Let’s meet and hear it. And we planned a date for the next evening, going to a bar.

With the girl from the metro we also had some pretty nonsense conversation. I told her something about her moves, because she said she loved dancing and that we should check them and she responded well in this soft close. I was slowing down planning something concrete for time and day, because my days looked fill with the other girls. I also got the social media of two other girls, mainly because almost noone was using whatsapp and they all had wechat so I had to go for something else. Kept in touch with but nothing much came out.

I also approached another girl while returning home that day. She was again African but living in a nearby city, we vibed well, she was quite willing to meet again, but it was quite difficult practically these days, we still exchanged numbers though.

Late night girl date

After all that I got ready, and went to my date. I arrived early, she texted she was taking a bit longer, and hoped I recognise her. We met, took a stroll, but it was crazy windy, so we decided to go grab a beer and sit somewhere. Nothing had happened till then I mean kiss or anything, though she did start holding my hand at some point.

We tried to go inside a fancy area that was closed for the night, we did get in for a bit, but I was somehow worried about any cameras there so we left. Eventually we went and sat at an outside table of a closed restaurant, basically still not allowed, but it seemed safer, since the one next to it was saying it had cameras while this one didn’t, and also it was kinda further from the main road.

We started drinking and eating some fish balls I had, and at some point I just kissed her. Then we got more playful, started feeding the balls to each other, and she came to sit on top of me. I was simulating sex movements, also took her breasts out and licked them, fingered her, at some point she took my dick out and stroked it so it was getting pretty hot.

Of course we were checking to stop whenever anyone was passing by, and also to not show too much, because we didn’t exactly know where cameras could exist. It was also funny because she was telling me how strange it feels to touch a dick after so long. She also didn’t like fingers much, was saying they are dirty in general, and had this thing about liking things clean and having ocd. That said she was so horny that she was trying to rationalise why to come to my place although it’s probably some not well maintained guest house.

I told her the sheets are fine and it felt generally clean to me, so she was starting to entertain the thought of coming back there. Then she started talking randomly about a friend of hers that gets girls all the time and then breaks their hearts, and they all chase him, and he teases her that she never has sex while he gets laid all the time.

Not gonna lie I started getting bored and out of mood there. I told her that she doesn’t need to do anything because of feeling pressured, and I want her to come with me because she is really into it. Also asked her if she is into the guy after a while, and she said no she knows him for so long and couldn’t see him like that and she kept saying how he’s the worst and stuff. Anyway, at some point I think I told her to focus on what we are doing now, it was getting freezing so we decided to start walking towards my place.

During the walk I was holding her very close to keep her warm and I could feel she was totally melting on me, I think she was extremely excited by that point. After some extra talk about how my place is fine and clean, she proposed we went to a supermarket to buy something for food, as she was hungry. I had no idea where to find something like that open so late, but she knew some Asian store that was surely an experience.

A funny theme song playing all over the place, full of colors and with any kind of product you could imagine, and she proposed to go to the sex toy section, because of course they also had that. I asked her if she wanted something specific, she said she wanted to buy some lube just to be sure, I told her she will be pretty wet, but she wanted it anyway so we bought a small one.

After that store we went all the way to my place, at least she commented it wasn’t that small, there was some smell of smoke though by the previous guy probably, but she didn’t complain much more. We started eating, feeding each other as well, kinda learned how to also eat with chopsticks, and in the end when I went to kiss and get into it she wanted to go brush our teeth first.

So I let her do that, it was a long brushing, I also brushed mine, we washed hands, I wanted her to feel comfortable with the whole cleanliness thing, and she didn’t even take her socks off to not touch the floor with bare feet. And then she took her clothes off, when to bed, covered herself with the sheets and basically wished me good night.

What I forgot to say is that she had mentioned earlier that we can go to my place just to sleep, and I said sure we can do that. Then she asked me if I would really let her sleep, and I told her I will get excited if she is lying there with her underwear, but we won’t do something she is not comfortable with. And at that moment that I saw her lying in bed half naked, the only thought in my mind was that she really wants to have zero responsibility, and have me show to her that I really want to take her.

So there was no way I would just let her sleep there, I went to the bed next to her, looked at her for a second thinking how silly all this was, and pulled her in for a kiss. From there everything escalated smoothly, she just became active again instantly, and soon enough I was eating her out. She had told me that it is very difficult for her to orgasm, but at some moment I did feel a small spurt of liquid from her pussy so I thought she was almost squirting.

Later I asked her about it and she told me she thought she was going to pee and was embarrassed and didn’t want to do it on me, and I told her that this was normal and she should just let go next time it happens, no pee will come out and she will enjoy it. She also had insecurity about her pussy because her hair wasn’t fully taken care of, but honestly it was nothing bad, and I told her I love it so she relaxed. Then I went in, and she was enjoying it a lot, me as well, and this time I lasted few minutes longer, not that long, still basically came the first time I was close, so I have to train myself to recognise and hold that point better.

After that we cuddled, classic me on my back and her snuggled on my body, and after a bit she left and I went on to have my 2 hours of sleep to not die in this trip.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

(yes these are 4 posts together, feel free to read at your own pace)

Day 4

More approaches and plans

I did text her the next morning that I hope she got some rest, and then went for my trip, catching some sleep in the ferry. I approached some girls in the other city, there was one that hooked really hard, but I basically discouraged her for more since it was almost impossible to meet, maybe should have tried to exchange contact anyway, who knows.

The thing is that I was also pretty full sexually at that point, and so tired that just having the date with the club girl planned, felt more than enough effort.

We talked with her during the day though, and she said she woke up not feeling well and she would let me know. Then she did agree on the proposed time and place and just wanted a nap first. On my side I lost about an hour by nearly missing the ferry back, mostly because I met a Russian girl going there as well, and trying to navigate with someone else took time compared to my normal walking speed.

She was cute though, long black hair, blue eyes. I street stopped her once in fact giving her a compliment, I saw some interest in her eyes, but for some reason we were going to different directions and I let her go. Well in the end we were going to the same place in different ways so I met her again and decided to not let her go this time. So we walked together for some time, before getting in the ferry I proposed we exchange numbers, but she told me she had a boyfriend. Later in the ferry we happened to sit together, and she told me she basically had a boyfriend, they were living together in Malta, she left because she missed Moscow and liked it better, and has been waiting for him to come there as well for the last six months. She knew that it may never happen, but didn’t want to do anything while in this situation. I told her I understand, gave her my number and told if she ever feels like it to call, this was from my side because I could feel she liked me in a way, but was holding herself back, with no expectations though.

Flake

After I arrived back, I sent to the club girl that I may be running half an hour late. She told me that this is getting too late for her and also that she is feeling so cold so it is better to postpone. I understood, and went for a chill drink by myself, feeling a bit bad I lost the chance with her, and then I thought I am getting a bit greedy, since things had gone so well the previous days.

I told her to let me know if she could meet me on the last day, which I also said to the metro girl as she was down from my soft close, and I also sent the same to 2-3 other girls, with no much hope for them though.

Day 5

Late night is back

This is basically only a morning and not a day, because I had to go to the airport after lunch time, so wasn’t expecting many things to happen but wanted to mention it.

In fact none of the girls answered to meet. 2-3 answered to say they can’t and wished me a nice trip, others like the club girl didn’t answer at all. The one that answered was the second girl I slept with, and after telling her where I was, she came to join for lunch.

She also brought me a bunch of asian snacks for the road, which I found very cute. And then she was trying to have me buy an international sim card, and generally wanted to help me a lot. She then joined me in the metro until a station. I was holding her during the trip, and we got down and kissed heavily in the station, she even took my hand and put it on her butt, below her clothes, so we were having some heavy makeouts there with me squeezing her ass, which she told me she liked a lot.

Eventually I told her I really have to go and can’t stay more so we parted ways. She really wanted to keep me around as much as she could. The first girl also texted me after we met that I could go to her country and we could plan it, but when I said that it could happen but I don’t know where or when I will be going next, she cooled off a lot. This one was just extra sticky this last day. Flattering but I was worried a little what would happen to her now that I have left.

In the air

Last thing for all this, I gave a compliment to a girl in the airport close to my arrivals, and we ended up sitting together in the plane. At least she had appreciated the compliment, but I couldn’t really understand how to play it in such a scenario where you are stuck together and the girl cannot leave.

Funny thing is the moment she saw me, because we had talked briefly about the dresscode, she asked me how they have accepted me in the flight like that. This surprised me, I told her: well, they took you in, of course they would take me too. She then said I changed shoes before getting in and I said no, she ate me with her eyes, but not well enough.

After that we talked a bit in the beginning of the flight, and not much later, sleeping, and movies took priority. I can say though that she didn’t feel like a woman that would easily submit to a guy. She would stick to her views no matter what, even for small things, so at some point I started supporting mine and arguing more. Nothing too strong, just not submitting to her frame all the time.

In fact this whole scenario was quite challenging for me, because I was trying to flirt and at the same time keep things comfortable since we were both stuck together for the long flight. So I wasn’t really sure how to stir the conversation in a way that can have an effect but it doesn’t feel like I’m openly hitting on her.

I have to work on these indirect parts of seduction for sure, as I struggle to understand how to interact with girls and indirectly have them get gradually interested.

In the end we went out from the plane, and before taking the luggage, I went and told her I have to go but let’s have a drink some other time. To my surprise she agreed fairly easily, I sent an icebreaker, she answered after a day telling me she hopes I have recovered from the trip, and then I told her there is nothing like home bed and asked her how this place treats no after her time in Asia. No response to that yet, so I am thinking how to go about it.

Conclusions

And to come full circle, the club girl had texted me while in the flight that she was on a sick leave, and she was sorry we didn’t catch up. Eventually we agreed to keep in touch with social media. Same thing for the metro girl and some others.

After all this fatigue, I finally could go rest a bit more. However I did go out with some friends the following day and remembered that the women in my area are quite beautiful. And it feels that I am getting less and less affected by it, of course I like the girls but could do without them. Still some improvement to be made though on this, especially when the girl is very close to my physical ideal.

The next days I took a short trip to some chill tropical island, way more relaxing, mostly families and honeymooners but I wanted something serene even just for a bit. I did talk to some girls here and there, but not really with much intent, as I also didn’t stay in the same place for more than a day, and meeting was difficult. I guess I could have approached more girls in friend groups, I do have an issue in areas like these when girls are just in their bikinis. Mainly because any direct open makes it so obvious that you just like their bodies, and I have trouble seeing how to escape this frame. Even by going indirect in fact I feel the girl will know you are just hitting on her, so it is a question what can be more effective in this kind of beach, holiday scenario.

All in all, some very interesting days, and at least it seems that some things are working. Even if mainly in that travel context right now.

 

[gameboy]

After that she asked me to buy her a drink, I told her she can go buy one if she wants, and then she did and basically never came back. All this interaction was fairly perplexing to me, because I would really bet she was attracted, and couldn’t figure out what she wanted me to do. Only thing in my mind is taking things even faster, and being more blatantly sexual myself. I guess I hesitated to go all in exactly after we arrived at the club and move for the pull. But any other insights are welcome. For context, the girl wasn’t from there, she was African, and was telling me she didn’t even like it there, and was just staying for the money,

Haven't read further yet, but wanted to chime in before I forget. To me it looks like this one wanted you for the money only... she wouldnt kiss you, and disappeared when you wouldnt buy her a drink... sounds like she was putting on an act

 

[gameboy]

Just finished reading the last part. You're killing it man! Congrats! 2 lays in a row if I remember correctly? That's fucking cool.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

Just finished reading the last part. You're killing it man! Congrats! 2 lays in a row if I remember correctly? That's fucking cool.

Thanks man! Yeah it was 2 lays in 2 consecutive days. Felt a bit surreal to be honest.

Can’t say I feel I am doing anything crazy though. I mean after the second one it did feel like: Ok something has to be going well, but I can’t really say if something particular changed or not.

I guess I am just caring less and less about having sex, and enjoy the time with the girl, basically caring about getting her super excited.

It still needs the girl to stay there and be a bit interested though, and with a number of hot girls the main issue is they don’t do that from the beginning.

Pretty fun though, how I had this first interaction with the African girl you also mentioned in your other post, and I was thinking what I did wrong and how I was off again, and then after sleeping with these 2 it feels that it is no big deal, with some it will work, with some it will not, and life goes on.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

A bit of a strange period for me. I would like to say I am slaying girls left and right but I am kinda in a different mood. Basically I know now for sure that my current contract will not be extended so I won't have a job in a few days. This was the most probable thing to happen, but it is still different knowing for sure you are going towards that.

So quite some uncertain times I would say, mainly because I don't exactly know what I want to do afterwards. I could go for something similar, since now that I have some experience it will probably be more easy to get a position, but it is a question of what I want to do with my life in general.

And I've travelled quite a lot lately, could take even more honestly, but I don't want to be ungrateful, I am very satisfied, and have time in front of me to visit many other places. The thing is I've seen all different kinds of things around the world, also a lot of attractive women. In a way all this has left me somehow empty.

What I mean is that I am struggling to find the point, you see people living in so many different ways, and you start wondering if it really matters more to just be a high profile businessman in a metropolis or to just chill and scuba dive in a tropical island. Even regarding women, you can find very hot ones in both worlds, or any other worlds in fact. So it leaves me in a way trying to figure out where I fit in all this.

Right now I feel that I see super hot girls around and although I can recognise it, I am like: so what, there are tons of you around, what would be different even if I could sleep with you. It is possible that if I could indeed sleep with them regularly I would think differently, I believe though that this is not just a way of my mind to escape effort and rejection, it really is a state where I am trying to figure out why banging this or any hottie would improve my life somehow except for the momentary feeling of satisfaction of dominating a hot girl.

Could also be that I have not enjoyed the sex part that much in my last lays, I suppose if that improves I could game just for the pleasure of sex and getting more of it. I do feel though that the main question of what am I going for will still be there.

So I can't say how all this will go, I will keep approaching for sure, I still do it just out of habit, it is just more half assed and with less excitement in general. It is possible that after having no job and being tighter financially I will just become more needy as well, just because I will associate success with women even more with my daily satisfaction, as game is the one free exciting thing I will have available to do.

I have to figure out what to do with my life though, and I think the main issue with what I am working on right now is not the environment, everyone is nice, the job is not that hard and can also have satisfying moments, it's more that I don't feel much motivation to be great at it, it's a thought of why would I even care about working hard to succeed at managing data in a big company. And the thing is some people do, let's say my supervisors or other people that go and climb the corporate ladder hard. I'm just struggling to find how that is appealing to me, and if it is not, what would be.

Would it be having a basic job without many responsibilities an ok salary and free time to just travel and game. Kinda what I am doing now? Maybe as long as I could have a strong frame and sleep with the girls I would like this could be enough, but I do feel inside me a lack of being great at something if it makes sense. This feeling that I am valuable and people respect my abilities. I just don't care much about the typical being great at my job and getting promotions thing, it feels vain, without knowing exactly what wouldn't. Or maybe I do, but I am too scared to admit it because of the fear of failing if I go for it.

Meaning working for myself, creating things, being an artist. I think that simply for some financial stability I should look for a job, just to have some safety since there is no other concrete plan of what to pursue at this moment. But on the side I should start working on things that excite me and get serious and really good about them. I won't be travelling that much anymore anyway, so I will have time for some other things, and after this interesting international travel break I should focus on how to move my life forward.

And regarding women, in one way or another I feel I have been progressing at least a bit even if slowly, so I do think it will improve as well, and I feel that taking care of some other aspects of my life will give a boost in this aspect too. And hopefully as all this smoothens out I will still remember that hot girls are more abundant than the sand ( I mean I found them in places with no sand too, so prove me wrong lol )

 

[ChrisXKiss]

Life state as of late and thoughts

Wanted to write an entry to keep this without gaps. It's been some very slow time seduction wise, these last 2 weeks in fact I may have had 2-3 free evenings in general.

I worked quite a lot during my last days in the job to make sure that things can be manageable for the team after my contract expires and I am also preparing for a theatre play next month, which takes a lot of time for rehearsals as we get closer.

During all these I haven't been going out much, and the truth is that after all the travelling these last months I don't have any schedule of doing things in my city apart from the theatre and the job I had.

As I start building my daily program now I believe it can be somehow more organised regarding what I do and how I practice game in the city, although at least for the until my premiere in the beginning of March it will be pretty tight.

The whole scheduling thing works a bit as a block for approaching, not just for the time of the approach, but mostly for what to do after the approach. I mean that even finding time during the week to plan a date hasn't been easy, which I hope will get better.

I also have to overcome the mental block of thinking that if I am busy and do a bunch of things the girls will just not be interested or wait around, when they can find guys that will offer them more of their time. I know that in general busy men are supposed to be attractive, but it has never really worked well for me, it mostly gives no chance to really meet for a date. And even when we meet like that, girls can sense that I don't really have much time to offer them and I don't see them that seriously. I suppose this could be solved by being more sexy and having them see me more as a guy they can only have fun with.

Another thing is to find the right angle of approaching again. As I have said I am reaching a point that most girls even if beautiful, don't feel that special, since I have seen it is possible to find them anywhere. So my approaches feel quite more detached, and although this keeps me from being overtly excited, I do feel that it also makes me look like I am not that into the girls. So it is a question to find the right balance between being cool and smooth and showing enough interest to even run proper game.

Approach

I made an approach on Saturday night for example, was going to get a pizza after a long full day rehearsal and chill at home. Saw a tall elegantly dressed girl crossing the road from the opposite side. We waited for a bit at the traffic lights, and I though screw it, I'll just open as we cross the road. Told her she looked very elegant, she stopped for a second worrying of being in the middle of the road, told her to come to the side to not get crashed by anything, and then she told me we had met again and I had opened her the same way.

I told her I don't remember but if she looked the like that it made sense. Asked her what she was up to, told her she looks like she was going out, said she was going to a salsa bar, I asked if she was a good dancer, she told me she tries to think she is and told me I am probably going home. I told her I am going for a pizza, and she said that's a great night, so I told her she really must not like salsa, or just likes pizza too much and she agreed, and then I told her I don't want to take her away from this great salsa time, and have to go grab my pizza, but if she is around here we can go for a drink some other time.

She said why not, I gave my phone for her to put the number, told her I am a bit tight these days preparing for a theatre play, but I believe I can make it work during the week. She gave the number and we parted ways wishing great pizza and salsa time to each other. Sent her an icebreaker an hour later, and today a voice message telling her the pizza was tasty and I hope the salsa was fun or I would feel too guilty letting her go there. She responded she changed her mind and doesn't want a drink anymore and wishes me the best.

The reason I am writing about this is not even because it is one of my few approaches lately. First of all it was very easy to just decide and do the approach which was good, not much anxiety, although I wasn't warmed up or anything. Secondly, the girl was attractive, like even close to girlfriend level attractive if I judge by her height, body type and even face for me, and I was just extremely chill and smooth, to the point of talking to her normally like she wasn't anything crazy special. Thirdly, exactly because of this and my general vibe lately, I wasn't very committed, even my drink offer felt very detached, like hey we met again, it feels like you have a cool vibe, why not go for a drink. And although I would for sure love going out with her, her message that she doesn't want it, didn't even make me feel much, was more like a ah whatever, noted to know that this kind of interactions don't lead to a sure date.

Conclusions

So with all these in mind, I go back to what I discussed earlier, having to figure out how to go around approaching with more intent but still keeping some of this cool detached nature that makes the approach non needy. And of course there is the issue of the girls being receptive enough to the approach for me in order to run my game, which is something I have to look into as it was always my issue with the idea that you treat all girls the same no matter their looks. Which I do understand, with the caveat that a bunch of these beautiful girls don't even give you a chance to interact and run your game, and I don't see how strong techniques like negs or push pulls would work in daygame cold approaching to hook them in.

To conclude, I've been sending to all the numbers I have from the last year the details of my theater play, mostly because i want people to come since I really believe it will be good. If it revives any interaction why not as well, but I don't have it as a main goal. And anyway I never liked using particular positions in order to rule girls in, I always wanted to be approaching without them knowing much about how good I am at something or not, since it felt the attraction would be purer in that way. Could be that I should at some point get into more social circle game and not be so purely into cold approach, it just feels too messy when people know you, and others know people that know you, I love the anonymity of approaching random strangers much more when it comes to sexual relationships. Maybe when I reach the point of being satisfied with my girl results, I will be more chill expressing it in social circles as well and leveraging them, we'll see.

 

[OldGuy]

Salsa girl practically asked you for an insta pizza date! At your place.

 

[gameboy]

Salsa girl practically asked you for an insta pizza date! At your place.

Those were my thoughts as well. Should have teased her with a tasty slice instead of boring salsa...

 

[ChrisXKiss]

I did think of that at some point. But that goes to show how much my mind is not in seduction space right now and how much detached I was at that moment from the interaction. I was feeling tired, my place was messy, and I wasn’t even thinking of doing anything that night.

Could it have worked if I tried to go for an instant date then? Maybe, she looked like she was in a surprisingly good mood, maybe ovulating as well, and I could also sell I’ve been dancing salsa for a while and could teach her some proper moves.

But I just didn’t feel it then and there. Which is an issue, because when I do go out with the intention to close, it often ends up feeling I am pushing for something to happen which is not very attractive, while other times when I am not thinking about seduction actively that much, I have sensed interest but I have not been very motivated to act on it.

 

[gameboy]

In that case she probably picked up your vibe that you're not all that interested, which is why she changed her mind. Maybe she even met another dude who was more interested at salsa class.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

In that case she probably picked up your vibe that you're not all that interested, which is why she changed her mind. Maybe she even met another dude who was more interested at salsa class.

Yeah it’s possible, I surely felt she enjoyed our vibe in the moment since I was super chill, but maybe I was too chill lol

And then we get into the territory of how much interest you should show. I feel I am often showing too much when they have not earned it yet and too little when I should show more.

Anyway I don’t want to stay thinking about this particular interaction too much, because I really wasn’t in the right place. I want to keep the positives about it and believe that there will be more women like that in the future that I will have the chance to close.

 

[gameboy]

Anyway I don’t want to stay thinking about this particular interaction too much, because I really wasn’t in the right place. I want to keep the positives about it and believe that there will be more women like that in the future that I will have the chance to close.

Good mindset to have! There will be, for sure