Diary of an explorer

[ChrisXKiss]

Man you're doing awesome. Lots of men would be jealous of your lifestyle, and lots more can't do what you do when they see a hot girl.

Have you considered aiming to get a FB for a while? Or even a girlfriend? It's a completely different experience from one-off lays.

Thanks man! I guess you have a point, in the sense that after getting into this journey you don't realise the state of the erotic life of most guys. You are lost in the middle of advanced field reports and feel you are just not good at all, when in reality you are progressing.

I am not against an FB or a girlfriend per se, I simply know that if I go for one I only kinda like, I just won't be able to do it for a girlfriend. I mean, if I don't have an ohhhh yes coming from the inside, I can't make myself get into it, I think the girl will also realise my hesitation of being with her. Or maybe she will want me more because of it, while the girls I want would think I like them too much, who knows. I mentioned in my previous answer as well how I am probably self-sabotaging with the girls I would want as girlfriends so there is also that.

When it comes to FBs, I wouldn't be opposed, but in one way or the other it hasn't happened till now. Maybe after bedding them I am also not that excited to see them again, since I am not so much pleasure oriented but more achievement oriented, so after sex I simply feel it is more interesting to try and sleep with another girl than the same one. Then it's also the case regarding my sexual performance lately, I suppose if I knew we could have a great sexual time together consistently I would pursue something like that more.

Didn't comment on your journal by the way, but congrats for the latest progress, you are also doing great!

 

[gameboy]

Didn't comment on your journal by the way, but congrats for the latest progress, you are also doing great!

Thanks a lot!

I mentioned an FB because of your performance worries. First-time sex with a new girl is often tricky. For me, it gets better once I know her better. Less nervouseness, better confidence...

Of course the downside is the danger of someone catching feelings.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

I mentioned an FB because of your performance worries. First-time sex with a new girl is often tricky. For me, it gets better once I know her better. Less nervouseness, better confidence...

Of course the downside is the danger of someone catching feelings.

Could be, I guess I am thinking that the next time we meet I'll have even more anxiety to perform well, since the first wasn't that good, so it will end up being even worse. But it is true that it gives you a different kind of experience.

And yeah feelings may get in there, that is something I should learn how to manage at some point.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

Recent Situation

An update from the last about two weeks. Nothing crazily new in fact, similar things happening and bothering me.

First of all I approached very little in my city. I’m not exactly sure why my motivation to game around here has dropped so much. I mean to the point I may get online matches and I don’t care much about texting them.

And it’s not only the travels, because I still have some days of the week when I can go out. I feel that I don’t know what I offer them exactly at this point. Especially with my sexual performance lately not being good, I’ve kinda felt bad after having sex, like I tricked them into something they didn’t enjoy.

And as I said last time, simply having more and more sex is not the goal, so I feel that even if I eventually get with a girl I like more, she will just be disappointed sexually and won’t stay around. Anyway, I’ll get back to this in a bit, because I lost an almost sure lay due to my inability to control myself.

The good thing is that I do still approach if I see a girl that makes me feel something more. I don’t have much anxiety, but I haven’t been doing much volume so the last ones I approached didn’t go anywhere.

I guess there was a fairly hot one I stopped two days ago as she was exiting a bus. Gave her a compliment for her style, and I felt she kept looking at me interested. I held eye contact as I started getting hard, she broke it laughing nervously, and then I pulled out my phone and asked her to put her number. She almost wasn’t speaking english so I didn’t try any kind of conversation really, just some basic going for a drink proposal. She answered my text but kinda ignored my invitation, I may send something more, although really no idea what we would do in a date unable to communicate.

Another girl randomly texted me to meet this month. I’ll see, can’t remember her being very enthusiastic when we met 2 months ago, so I wonder what she would want. I may do it for the practice anyway. This reminds me I haven’t even tried lately to ping with texts a number of girls that were busy some time ago. Goes to show that my mind is not really there nowadays, in the summer I would be sending message after message trying to catch whatever I could.

Latest travel

I also did travel again this last week, went to a southeastern asian country for the first time. Quite interesting to see mostly Asian looking people around. I always thought that Asian women were not really my type, but after spending few days there, I can say that there are some that I would consider particularly attractive. And also many of the others are just petite and cute.

And I had some good experiences being a westerner there, that said I do feel that eventually to get the really attractive girls it’s not that much easier that in the west. The average asian girl yeah, I’d say she is quite charmed by the white guy tourist, but average is not my goal anyway, so this is not giving me much, apart from the satisfaction of feeling a bit more unique and attractive.

Day 1

I am not even going to these trips for seduction reasons in fact, that said I like beautiful women and flirting with them, so I won’t miss the chance. With this mindset, my first night there, few hours after I arrived, I went out to check the local area and nightlife, and happened to almost instantly street stop a pretty cute taiwanese girl.

She was very classy and sweet, I gave her a direct compliment, she felt quite interested immediately by how she was looking at me, I found out she was outside alone going for a drink, so I proposed we go together.

We arrived at a local pub, and sat there next to each other, talked a bit and deep dived. She was saying how she was very focused on working and progressing and at some point she started feeling alone and weak, so she started trying to meet more people, and left for this country that is safer. I told her that she is very strong for taking care of herself and managing to reach where she is now.

She was saying that she is pretty shy, and that she hadn’t been in a relationship for very long, and doesn’t even know how to behave with a guy. I offered to help, and told her I would really like to kiss her. She was quite hesitant so I gave her a quick peck on the lips and we kept talking.

I asked her about where she lived, proposed we went back together, or to my hotel which was close by, and she said she was looking for something more serious, although she was agreeing she was really enjoying our time together.

I then proposed a walk, so we went out, walked hand by hand, danced a bit in the street and kissed again with her melting into it more, telling me how romantic I am.

Eventually we reached a five star hotel to go to the toilet, and I was having the thought of just taking her in there, but I wasn’t feeling her that sexually ready, so didn’t decide to push it. She was still saying she wanted a relationship, and then we went for her to call a taxi to her place and parted ways.

She was talking about how we could meet the next days again if I had time, so I was pretty sad when we exchanged numbers, and I didn’t write it correctly, because I could never reach her to at least know if she made it home safe. It’s not that I wanted much more from her, but at least to not let her feel I didn’t care at all.

Can’t imagine how I would have gotten to sex with this one on that night. It didn’t seem like she was ready to me, maybe there would be a way I didn’t see though.

After that I went around and arrived at another bar/club, I approached some girls, not much luck though, so I went home to rest.

Day 2

Next day I walked around in the morning sightseeing, and made some street stops during that. I got the number of a Japanese girl, but sadly she told me she was travelling the next day, and we didn’t have time to meet later. This was my first experience of a girl asking me to literally take a picture together, no idea how to handle that, it happened once more with a Chinese girl the next day. This thing of “You are very handsome, let’s take a picture together”, which I cannot really see how it helps the seduction, I suppose they saw me as too unattainable.

Can’t say my vibe was great during these days by the way, sweating a lot due to the hot weather, and tired from the trip, so I wasn’t feeling extremely seductive but I kept pushing through.

That night I went to a fancy bar/club at the rooftop of a luxurious hotel. Wasn’t a busy night, I made few approaches to a number of girls that happened to be around.

One was a girl that was calling me a “my nationality” god from the start, kinda strange, flirted with her a bit but she was there with a friend and didn’t seem like it would be going anywhere. Caught up with her again before leaving, we exchanged numbers and she told me she is charging, to which I responded we’ll see. Texted her the next day, made some teases, invited her out, she told me she would think about it and never responded.

There was another woman, quite older European tourist there with friends, we talked to each other at the bar, and before leaving I went and stopped her, and moved in for a kiss. I could feel she was attracted, but probably felt it was only about sex, so she didn’t let me kiss her and then her friend pulled her away.

And probably the most interesting interaction was a very sexily elegant girl from Laos, that I saw sitting with a friend and I complimented her. I moved on after that, talked with two other guys I had met before, gay couple in a staycation, and then I saw at some point she was sitting alone so I went in.

I think I said something like: “I see you are left alone, may I join?”, with a seductive little smile. We sat together, mostly talked, I asked her about what she is doing, touched her leg for a second at some point. She was feeling more polite than anything, so I asked her what she likes in a guy. She told me I am not her type, and she likes masculine men. I asked her if she means I am not masculine, she said she is sorry but yes, and I told her no it’s fine I’ve been told before and it was never a problem.

Not sure why I responded like that it was weird, there was a long pause afterwards, not so much because I was affected emotionally, I was just thinking what to do in this scenario. In the end I tried to reignite the conversation one more time and excused myself. She went to give me her hand for a nice to meet you and I told her I won’t take the hand of a lady, so I signalled her to give me her palm and did a hand kiss before leaving.

Funny thing is that I don’t generally do stuff like this, so I don’t know what got into me. I feel because she told me I am not very masculine for her, I didn’t want to try and act more masculine, but basically wanted to double down in this more refined gentleman persona as a way to have a reason for her rejection.

This could be something interesting though, because I have not had a woman telling it to my face before, but I do suspect that a bunch of girls do not feel attracted because I don’t seem masculine enough. Which makes me wonder what I should do and if I have to make any particular changes in my behaviour.

She also asked me if I work in fashion and said I look like I could be a model, which I guess are good things. I don’t really get these by women so it got me by surprise a bit, not even sure if it matters though, since she wasn’t attracted anyway.

Day 3

The next day I went to a local theme amusement park to have some fun. Made some approaches while there, the chinese girl I mentioned that asked for a photo was inside, but didn’t get much out of them.

I wouldn’t say it’s the best place for solo approaching since most people are there with friends or partners, but anyway some girls were hot so whenever I was seeing them alone I was going.

The crazy scenario happened after I left, while I was going to take the train to return to the city centre. A short girl was walking a bit further away, she looked at me, I sensed she liked me, she asked me something, I gave a short answer and kept going.

Not because she wasn’t cute, but I wanted to rush to another attraction I had bought tickets for, that was closing soon.

But this girl was persistent, she came to me asked where I was going, I told her and then while looking at me with lust, grabbed me and asked me to stay with her.

So I did, she asked me to find a less lit place where we could make out, and started asking me where I am from, if I have a girlfriend, what I am doing here.

She was just a bit drunk so she kept repeating some things, and also telling me that she really wants to kiss me because I am so hot, and she wants me to hold her close.

I had no idea of this area, so I asked someone working there and took her to the beach in a more dark spot. The beach wasn’t big though and there were some other people coming and going so it didn’t feel like a spot we could also have sex at.

We stayed there for a moment, because although she was extra into me, I felt it would be too much to grab her and fuck her right away somewhere, wanted to get her a bit ready first.

So we kissed, she was sucking me, also asked to bite and leave a mark on me, I was pulling her in and pushing her out, started fingering her inside her clothes and playing with her boobs.

She kept saying she was a good Indian girl, and asking me if I like Indian girls, if I like her boobs, what are my dirtiest fantasies.

We reached the point where she was very horny and ready for sex, basically asking for my dick. The only problem? I had ejaculated already in my pants…

So my situation was, underwear full of cum, stained trousers, my penis losing excitement and a very horny girl with me.

I was thinking where to go and have sex. I had seen some crazy fines for way milder things done in public in this city and the girl was also asking to go somewhere darker to not get deported, so it had to be somewhere secluded, and this beach still had some people around. At the same time I didn’t want to really do it then and there because after cumming I was firstly embarrassed that she could notice, and secondly not sure if I could go again straight away.

I am fairly sure that if I hadn’t orgasmed I would have grabbed her and taken her somewhere in a more secluded area close by, or maybe at some nearby toilets, but I wanted to gain more time to be excited enough again.

I was also still thinking if I could still make it to my other attraction at least to rush through it, so I decided to take her and go to my hotel where I wanted to leave some stuff anyway, and I could also clean myself a bit down there, while the the 30 minute travel would give me enough time to be ready to go.

As you can imagine what happened is that midway through the train ride she got a call by someone, she told me cousin, and after that she said she wanted to go home. I just told her ok and let her go. I wasn’t even sad or surprised, I could fully understand what had happened, and was even thinking it was fairly probable she would snap out of it in the way, I simply couldn’t see a better choice with everything I had in my mind. She told me I am a good guy, we hugged and parted ways.

At least I eventually got to the attraction I had paid for after cleaning myself up a bit, and although I speedran it, it was worth it.

The saddest thing for me is the fact that I didn’t give her what she desired. She was also quite cute, very short, but a girl I could have even approached myself if in the mood. And I also don’t know now if I would have managed it under normal circumstances without cumming. I believe I would have closed, I have done it already in public although I knew the area better. But I was thinking about it already two days earlier with the other girl in the toilets, so I believe I would have done it somewhere.

That said I didn’t, which is all that matters in the end I guess. And I won’t lie, right now I am fairly fine, but that night and a bit the next daywere not very easy. This is the one thing, together with not getting to have sex with the girls I would like to, that makes me feel depressive and wondering what’s even the point, not only in seduction but in general.

It passes and I forget it, but the first few hours I am walking around looking at girls with some deep sadness, feeling that whether they like me or not, whether I like them or not, it just doesn’t matter, it won’t be a satisfactory sexual experience.

And then it affects me when I go to make moves on a girl the next time, because I think what if I go for sex fast, get overexcited and finish immediately. It’s fairly difficult to be in the moment like this, and I truly believe it affects my motivation to game, even more if I believe I would be meeting the girl again.

Anyway, I will keep going, maybe it will happen again, maybe not, being exhausted in such a long trip doesn’t help for sure, that said I at least deeply believe that I can have normal sex, since I have had it before and it is not a lifelong condition. Heck, the sex I had as a virgin was better than the experiences I’ve been having lately.

Day 4 and coclusion

The last day I didn’t really approach much, I was still affected a bit by what had happened, and also wanted to visit some other places. I had some other numbers in fact, 2-3 contacts either from approaches or online that I could have tried to make something happen with, but I wasn’t that into them and not much in the mood in general.

Talking about online I didn’t get many more matches than in other places, and not any better quality, still transexuals and barely cute girls, which surprised me a bit. I guess my profile is not even good enough for asian travel game.

Just before boarding a plane, I saw a tall girl working in the airport walking around. She was giving me the vibe of being some fierce chinese dominatrix, basically the kind of girl that you would never have any hope dominating, so I wanted to go up to her just to test it. And she was so cute with such a sweet voice, I kinda feel I could have gotten her out if I stayed around, she looked like she appreciated my compliment a lot. Writing this to note that it’s good to test assumptions. And always good to see that women you like a lot can respond well to you.

Because after coming back here, and seeing a bit the people around, I believe that my issue is that I feel kinda invisible as a man to the most beautiful girls. Like if I was in a room they wouldn’t notice, and even if I went up to them, they would be flattered but in a what a cute boy kind of way. Something that I wasn’t feeling that much in Asia, possibly due to the foreignness and the uniqueness it gives, and also because all the girls there were smaller, while here a lot of them are tall and with a more athletic built.

And combining this with the masculine comment, I’m thinking how I should go about it, I mean how do you show masculine presence without being overbearing and try hard.

I’ll see how to go about it. I have some more days around here, before going back to my family for Christmas and during the holidays I will for sure not be very actively seducing.

It’s also a bit difficult to build a routine and normal schedule with all these trips, but I want to do them now that I can, so it feels worth it.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

Have been approaching a bit more lately, not full time sessions, but doing it more during the day. Not really much to discuss though, I haven't had many successes even in the form of numbers. And it starts feeling a bit like all this is going nowhere.

Just to illustrate my situation, I was in a club, made an approach to a hot girl, just some polite chat, moved on to approach a cute girl nearby with her friend, positive initial reaction but not much of an investment or interest back. Talked a bit more with her friend who was chubby and just passable and she gave me indications of interest and escalation windows so I tried to move on with her.

I say tried, because honestly I was in pain inside, thinking how ugly does a girl have to be in order to see me sexually, as I was making out with her, looking at the cute and the hot girl in the background. I was pretty horny so I simply went all in, I tried to take her by the hand to the toilets, not sure what I would have done there since there was a guy from the place in the entrance, and she stopped me midway. We danced and kissed a bit more, she told me she doesn't want a hookup and left after a while.

And there I am feeling I am only good for validating below average girls, and having them even not wanting to sleep with me. And it's not even the first time this happens, I've had it many times that I go to a place, I approach the hottest girls, nothing comes out of it, then I may approach some other cute girls, since why not, and eventually I realise that the only girls that give me signals and seem open are the ones that I would pick the last to have sex with, and ideally I wouldn't. And generally I don't even approach these, I don't see much of a point.

To brighten it up, I did approach a cute girl in some ruins indirectly that gave me some eye contact. I moved close to her inspecting a sign and made a comment about it to which she responded immediately. Her friend asked her to take a picture together and she even told me that she would be right back. Not much from there though, I talked with her and her friend a bit, I think I wasn't very charismatic in that moment, I didn't know where to take it since I would be busy later and we were all leaving the next day. I asked for a number eventually, she wanted me to give mine, I did, and she surprisingly sent a text at night because her flight was cancelled. I was inside that club though so I didn't try to go for a meet then.

Anyway, this was to say that I do have situations where I see interest from cuter girls, I've been to dates with some of them, but generally there is this feeling in my life that I have to work pretty hard to have sex even with them, and I won't even get to my ideal girls. And there are moments that this thought of being undesired just crashes me, wondering what is even that wrong with myself, when I see all kinds of guys together with girls that range from really cute to very hot.

The reason I am saying that I think what is wrong with myself is because I am trying to be genuine in my approaches, showing my appreciation to them, looking into them deeply, while not really supplicating, just enjoying their essence and the moment that brought them in front of me. So when I get rejected it feels like a rejection to my genuine self and admiration of women, like I can only look at them from afar but don't deserve to touch.

Which makes me feel more and more at this point, that basically all that matters is a combination of fundamentals and behavioural dominance. Anything else is really there just for the girl to feel safe to let herself explore the interest that the previous two created. Which makes me think I should focus way less on being genuine and deep, and I should mainly focus on how to play to win. I will be working on the projection of my energy, but apart from that I should learn more techniques and strategies just to seize control of the interaction, and start using a lot of push pulling, treating all girls like they are silly and cute and would obviously fancy me no matter how they act.

Not sure how all this sounds, but I feel I am disappointed by direct game. I love it, it's the true expression of myself, and when I see a girl that has something unique I want to let her know, but I am getting tired of the results it has been giving me. And in the end it is a game because you have to learn how to play to get a result.

My only issue with this kind of indirect game is the fear that by going in such a route I will be excluded even more, and people won't even like me enough to engage in the interaction if I am push pulling and teasing heavily, treating the girls as silly and cute no matter how they feel towards me.

We'll see, I am not saying I won't compliment again, but I have to push myself to be way more challenging and putting pressure to the girls from start to finish.

 

[gameboy]

I'm feel I'm a bit in a similar situation. In my case I think it's because of my age, most of the girls I go for are several decades younger than me, and deep inside I have this limiting belief like how is she going to want anything with a guy my age? I mean I wouldn't have banged a 50 year old woman when I was 20... on the other hand they say men get more attractive with age. And somehow I think this is just that, a limiting belief... I guess time will tell...

I would also love to be able to pick up girls by just being my true self. As a form of self expression basically. Learning techniques feels manipulative. But then again, being myself is what I used to do... and something has got to change.

As for your example, maybe the uglier chick sensed that you weren't all that into her? Anyway not a huge loss. At least you got a chance with a cute chick later! So it's not only the less attractive ones that are interested in you. Maybe with the uglier ones it's just easier, because they get less attention on average. But the experience with the cute chick shows that you do get results with the hotter ones! Don't be too down on yourself. So the logistics sucked, but I guess you gotta live with that if you're travelling a lot like you seem to be.

Hot girls in clubs are probably the hardest it gets to be honest. Since that's where they will get the most attention from all kinds of dudes, so unless you are excatly her type it's gonna be more difficult than in day game. You met the cute chick in a day game situation right?

 

[ChrisXKiss]

I'm feel I'm a bit in a similar situation. In my case I think it's because of my age, most of the girls I go for are several decades younger than me, and deep inside I have this limiting belief like how is she going to want anything with a guy my age? I mean I wouldn't have banged a 50 year old woman when I was 20... on the other hand they say men get more attractive with age. And somehow I think this is just that, a limiting belief... I guess time will tell...

Yeah I’d say I have experienced more of the opposite, girls rejecting me because they are older, wouldn’t mind a hot 50 year old to be honest. The thing with young girls in fact is that all I see on them is a pretty face and body, I feel I cannot connect with them really, and they probably sense it that I see them purely as sexual objects but not in a seductive way.

Maybe that is the issue of what I described in the other post as well, a lot of the girls that treat me just nicely are at least a bit older and more experienced ones, the young ones generally don’t even engage since it feels there is nothing much to connect us.

I would also love to be able to pick up girls by just being my true self. As a form of self expression basically. Learning techniques feels manipulative. But then again, being myself is what I used to do... and something has got to change.

I don’t even want to just be myself in fact. If I wanted that I would have never gotten any girls in my life. I started as something like the opposite of a natural. I could not comprehend why you should tease girls and not talk to them logically when I started learning seduction.

So everything I am now you could say is not really myself but something I have made myself into, with my original personality as a base. That is to say I don’t mind learning new techniques or improving more, I guess I just feel that for some people it comes easily to be with hot girls while I have to work hard to become some super seducer to come even close. Not that I have many other choices anyway.

As for your example, maybe the uglier chick sensed that you weren't all that into her? Anyway not a huge loss. At least you got a chance with a cute chick later! So it's not only the less attractive ones that are interested in you. Maybe with the uglier ones it's just easier, because they get less attention on average. But the experience with the cute chick shows that you do get results with the hotter ones! Don't be too down on yourself. So the logistics sucked, but I guess you gotta live with that if you're travelling a lot like you seem to be

Yeah the travelling one is true, I have lost some dates due to that for sure. And indeed it is refreshing when I feel that at least a hot girl can be attracted to me, doesn’t happen very usually, but I have it enough to reignite my desire and keep me going.

I kinda don’t see the point if I don’t get these girls. I am having sex and it is nice to complete the seduction and share some intimate moments but it mainly feels like I just get the girls I can which are not what I would prefer. It would be nice landing some girls I consider hot once in a while at least.

Hot girls in clubs are probably the hardest it gets to be honest. Since that's where they will get the most attention from all kinds of dudes, so unless you are excatly her type it's gonna be more difficult than in day game. You met the cute chick in a day game situation right?

Oh yes they are. I really don’t get how to even start a conversation in this environment, the shields are so high I can barely pass the opening phase. In high end venues people can be nicer in fact, at least they talk more, but then the sexualising part is another story.

This was daygame yes. I was in some ancient ruins and was pinging tourists whenever I was coming across some cute ones. She was basically the only one that bit. At least it has gotten easy to casually start interactions either with compliments or other situational comments.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

Let's close this year. First of all I am visiting family so these days not much action. In fact, I was even thinking I have forgotten how to initiate interactions in my mother tongue, it feels way more natural to flirt in English somehow. But anyway, I am rarely active when back home. The most I did was go with some friends to some kind of kink party, that ended up being a bdsm and live sex show.

At least it was interesting in the sense that I had never watched live sex before, didn't do much for me though, I always knew I wasn't interested in seeing other people do it, so it's good to have a real life confirmation. The bdsm part was interesting though, and I do know I would enjoy practicing it more myself, that said when I am still struggling to have sex with girls I don't see how exactly I can play the part of the dominant guy and provide this experience.

Another interesting thing is I talked to some of these friends about my trips and experiences with women and it did feel like they were amazed and also couldn't believe I would be doing things like that, based on how they knew me from some years ago. I guess this is an indication of having grown, but to be honest I don't feel that much of a difference inside.

I mean yes I went to a bunch of dates, kissed/made out with a number of girls, and even slept with few of them, but in the end as this year comes to its end, I don't feel any more fulfilled or satisfied with my life. The one thing I am proud of is I am taking action, and I keep going, in general though it still feels that the things I desire elude me.

And I guess the main thing I desire is attracting hotter women. Something that comes from deep inside me and brings me pain knowing I am not achieving it and wondering if I ever will. And I don't think I can simply not go after it.

Sometimes I may feel I want too much, and wonder why I cannot be satisfied with a normal relationship and a nice job like other guys. I see friends finding a cute girlfriend and having a stable job and seeming alright with their lives. At the same time most of the girls I meet I would have to be pressured to get into something long term with even if they are generally cute, and the job I am doing although it's nice and it lets me travel I don't really feel connected to it in any way.

And although I am gonna have to look for a new job in two months, since my contract ends, it's not even about the company. The environment is nice, there isn't much pressure now, solving some of the things I do can be exciting in the moment, it just doesn't make me feel I am realising my potential. Not that I know how I could do that exactly, but I have to seriously think how to go about my life from now on.

At least the trips I have taken during this period have been worth it, and I wouldn't really mind staying in the company more for now, to explore the world at this time of my life. It surely doesn't feel like something that would be a long term goal though, unless I eventually start something like a travel blog as a personal project lol. I've already had a colleague call me for advice on how to plan a trip of his, because I have been using the travel perks so much that I've gotten a reputation of going to a different place every weekend.

It does feel though a bit like I am doing things without really having a purpose or a long term life vision. I guess exploring is good, it's literally the name of my journal as well, but I suppose at some point I have to know what I am going for and really push for it. And I am sure it affects me with women as well. I love classy feminine women that are active and want to achieve things in their lives, but at the same time it feels like I have no idea or plan about what to achieve myself, so it's difficult to feel like I deserve them.

Even if a girl is just very hot and simply bartends or does some exotic dancing, I will still feel that even this girl is independent, working hard for something in her life, and having certain dreams, while I feel totally lost going around. But at the same time, I do feel that if I had a fulfilling sexual and romantic life, I could way more easily start pursuing other things to succeed at.

It's a strange concept, I feel that working hard on something and becoming successful in a career while remaining unsuccessful with women is totally pointless. I always had this fear that I would get great at something, and hot women would only try to be around me for their own gains while never really being sexually attracted to me.

For this reason I have subconsciously and consciously made myself not really pursue greatness to escape this pain, or at least go after it only when I know I can have hot women in my life and handle them. But I don't know anymore, pure pickup doesn't seem to work for the results I want, and it leaves me with something empty inside, like I am just trying more and more to get girls, without really having anything that would make me deserve them.

I feel I have to somehow progress in both at the same time, being seductive, and pursuing something greater for myself. I feel it's the only way to have a strong frame about my life and believe to the core that the gorgeous woman in front of me would be stupid to reject me. Easier said than done though when I don't know what I exactly to pursue.

My feeling, getting to the end of this, is that I have to start working on myself more seriously and consistently. Meaning improving my fundamentals and upskilling in areas that can be useful and of my interest. I can start studying more about finance and business that I have minimal experience at, and also learn more how to write, speak, maybe create content. Things in general that can be useful in producing value and contributing to whatever field I decide to focus on down the road. At least I will feel I am growing and that I will be able to build something for myself when the time comes. What this would be, I'd have to figure out.

I'll do my best to combine this with continuously practicing seduction as the next year comes. I can't really say I exactly know how I could get the girls I desire, but really as I said in the beginning, they are the only ones that could make me feel this whole thing makes sense, so I won't stop pursuing them till I get there, no matter how hard it is or how long it takes.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

Going back to my base tomorrow, at least for this next week, some more travels planned ahead for the month, and then I expect things to get quite calm for a while and stay in one place.

Number Contacts and Statistics

There are some things that happened these last days that were interesting and made think about different stuff. First of all I sent a huge number of New Year wishes to old numbers in my phone and it made me see how many numbers I've gotten from girls, and also how few I eventually did something with.

I received over 200 responses to my messages, and generally I probably sent over 300, maybe close to 400, out of which I had slept with only 3-4. These are all girls that I approached during the last year plus few months. And on hand I do feel that getting over 300 numbers in a year is not bad, but a sex close rate of almost 1 in 100 of them is kinda disappointing.

If I also count it by approaches I would say that it's about 1 number per 10 approaches at least, which means I've done around 3000-4000 approaches this last year+ for sure, ending up in bed with only a percentage of 1/1000 of them. And with few more girls from online. But it does feel like a pretty low percentage.

I kinda admire my tenacity to keep going, however I should surely improve and change some things. By rough numbers regarding my dates as well, it seems I have about: 1 number per 10 approaches, then 1 date per 10 numbers, then 1 lay per 10 dates. I am not sure which one of these is the worst, probably the date to lay ratio, which is something I have been working on. On the other hand there is also the quality or hotness issue of the girls that come to these dates, because I mostly lose the hottest ones either during the approach or after I get their number, which means that generally I have to improve my presentation, first impression and initial game as well.

Anyway, it wasn't the most pleasant feeling to go through all these numbers of hot girls that basically ghosted/rejected/flaked me, it made me feel like I put so much effort for almost nothing, but at least I have a feeling that going through all that, I noticed certain behavioural patterns that made me cringe a bit with myself. Things I texted, or did in the dates, that now I feel like I know I could do better, so I have a hope that maybe through all that, even just by pure exposure I am growing a bit.

Also I have about 100 responses to my follow back message which basically asks the girls how they have been, so I will follow with these leads from tomorrow and see if I can get some of them out now. Quite a bunch of numbers to respond to, so I hope I don't lose some just by purely not communicating fast enough.

Frames and Social Expression

The other thing that happened is I met some old friends. We were basically best friends at childhood in fact, then I stayed too focused on studying after junior high school and we gradually parted ways, because they were more interested in going out, partying and girls back then. I could say they are some kind of naturals, although I've never actually been out with them for girls, but I can sense that they are quite solid in their frames and they have a vibe that can treat girls as silly and cute and pull them in.

It got me thinking a bit, what kind of person you have to be to attract girls naturally. Meaning mostly how much to believe in yourself, and how to build this strong frame of yours. I kind feel for myself I constantly lack knowledge about the world. It could be that I am a perfectionist, never satisfied with myself and wanting more, but for example I don't know how to cook in general, and always feel like less capable of taking care of myself due to that, or I have a car license, but I have barely driven because I am in a country with excellent public transport now, so I don't feel very confident in driving, which makes me feel less independent somehow.

So the question I am trying to answer is if it really is about gaining more and more skills, just getting great at doing multiple things and then at some point you feel you are capable enough and confident in your abilities. Or if it is something else, because where do you even finish with acquiring skills, is there really a point where you go: yes now I know I can handle myself in life? In theory there can always be someone that knows how to survive in a jungle while I do not, and I will always feel that I should have this skill as well if I want to offer value equal to what this person offers.

But looking at these friends of mine, they look like they have strong frames without even doing that much or being some crazily uber successful men. Maybe they are great at the craft they decided to follow, they are working hard seemingly knowing their business well, they take care of themselves financially, have a car or a motorcycle, go out to bars and clubs from time to time, are social and are very easy and fast to have strong opinions on things. With this last one I mean that when you talk to them it feels like they state things, they don't discuss them or ask, even the questions feel rhetorical sometimes, but they do communicate with each other, they simply don't seem to analyse every single detail and get caught up in breaking down even a tiny point of an argument which is something I would stop and do.

At least I think, because we met twice, the second time I adapted a bit, and was a better company communication wise, giving them space, and intervening with things that made sense for the vibe of the discussion. The first time I felt a bit out of water, and also because I've been abroad for a long time living a different life, and I don't want it to feel like I am coming back thinking I am doing something too great and rubbing in their faces how amazing my life is. I do have to find how to talk about things I do passionately without coming off as too boastful or overly excited. It's not even that I believe I live some crazily good life in fact, I just feel for example that if someone learns how much I have travelled lately they may feel sad because they couldn't do it so easily, so I am kinda trying to play it like it's no big deal, but a lot of people I realise don't care that much about what you do or how good you are at it to get uncomfortable, so I suppose I should let myself free to express my emotions more authentically.

And to get back to the frame strength, even this whole paragraph shows a part of why I don't have it that much. I am constantly trying to think how something comes off, what something else means, why something is happening, even girls have told me on dates that I have a very inquisitive look like I am paying attention to them and analysing them. Which is true in a way, because I try to understand what kind of people they are and how to stir the interaction to seduce them, but maybe it gets too far. It is part of the fun for me though, getting deep while remaining playful.

So in the end my conclusion from all this is that I should start doing things I want to do, express more openly my emotions and views on the things I am pursuing, while also showing genuine interest to what the others are doing, as this will first of all strengthen my frame, due to pursuing things I value, and also make me a more animated real and engaging character, instead of someone quiet that sits back and analyses you all the time.

Date with Public Fingering and Handjob

Last but not least, I had my first experience with a girl back in my home country. This was very interesting, because when growing up I never even flirted with girls at all, and I have disassociated seduction from the local women. So much in fact, even flirting properly with them is a struggle and it has felt extremely difficult to approach combining the right vibe with the correct words in my first language. Due to all this, I somehow ended up having crazy anxiety before this date, I haven't felt like that due to a woman for a long while, it was similar to the levels I had before my first kiss probably. Gladly things smoothed out after the date started.

The girl was basically a 43 year old that matched with me on bumble, and was very interested in meeting although she knew I was leaving in few days. She was also looking for fun casual dates, so I was ready for things going sexual. She was a bit less attractive in person to be honest still cute though, but she started making me hard very fast, her feminine mannerisms and behaviours did something for me subconsciously, so I knew I would be down to having sex.

We went for a drink downtown, quite far away from both our houses but somewhere in the middle since we live in the opposite sides of the city. After about an hour of sitting, talking and vibing, with me balancing some playful comments, some connection talk, and certain man to woman topics, intermingled with light touching and few compliments, I proposed we went for a walk.

There she made a comment about an interesting house a bit out of the main road, as we went there the area was less well lit so I proposed to show her some dance moves, of a dance we talked about earlier that I was doing. She was a bit coy saying she cannot dance and cannot do it, I told her noone will see her here and she just needs to follow me, we tried to dance for a tiny bit, and in the end I just turned as we were holding each other and kissed her.

Thinks escalated quickly from there as she was very into it, and passionate exciting me more as well, so after some intense making out I proposed we went somewhere more private. That's when the logistic problems started, because I lived far away with family, she told me did too as she had moved with her mother recently, she also didn't want to go to a hotel very closeby, and I could sense it wasn't just an arousal issue, she was saying she wasn't comfortable going to do it there, so I told her to relax and that we will stay and have what fun we can where we are.

My plan for the night, since I knew my place wasn't free, was a) check if hers was, b) take her to a local hotel, c) try to see whether I can find a public area. So we were at c), and the problem is although I had been around that place a lot of times, I had never seen it through a purely night sex location lens all these years, so I didn't have a very concrete plan of where to go. That was my biggest mistake, since I could have been there one or two nights before to really scout the area well and be ready, because I am sure I could have found a good spot. It's quite far from my house though, so I didn't thinking the local hotel would do.

Anyway, I was fine with having whatever fun we could there, so I took her to a nice spot that looked not in the middle of the road but not too deserted either and we started getting more sexual. From making out heavily, to taking her boobs out and sucking them and shoving my hand in her panties and fingering her, while her back was facing the road. We were stopping briefly from time to time when people were coming to enjoy the view, and then back at it. In fact I almost made her cum once, I didn't completely because she shut her legs and pulled away basically, making it very difficult for me to keep fingering in the position we were. It was quite interesting though, since few moments earlier she had told me she wouldn't be able to get close to an orgasm in such a public place feeling people would see her, and then she was totally melting in my hands.

After a bit there I took her and we walked somewhat further. I was keeping an eye on any good spot for sex but couldn't spot any, I was randomly grabbing and kissing her, spanking and dirty talking her through all that, at one point when noone was around I even pulled up my clothes and told her to lick my nipples which she did, while we also had some normal conversation in the middle, and eventually we realised we should take the last train, if we wanted to make it to our places.

While walking back to the train, at one of the moments I simply grabbed and kissed her, she was feeling my penis above my pants as she did quite a bit that night, so I had the idea to give her a treat. I unbuckled my belt, but then we kinda both realised this place was quite well lit with a bunch of people walking by, so we didn't do anything and moved on. Good thing she said it first in fact, because I don't know maybe I would have put her hand in my pants just for a second even there, as she was hiding me with her back.

We reached the train station, and before parting ways as we were going to different directions, I noticed a pretty dark spot, so I simply pulled her there, stood with my back on a door, and as noone could really see us, she knew what she was supposed to do. I unbuckled again, took her hand and put it inside my underwear, and she grabbed my dick quite passionately, took it out and gave me a few strokes, before I told her it's better to stop to not cum here, to which she agreed. Then I told her we are now even since she got to play with me after I got to play with her, and we parted ways inviting each other to masturbate thinking of all this when we get home.

To conclude, not a lay, but it was quite fun, I enjoyed my time, we exchanged one two messages today, and she seemed to have enjoyed it too. A very good thing is that I never felt close to cumming, and we have some heavily sexual interaction so with my history of premature orgasms that is good. Even in the end with the handjob, when I told her to stop because I didn't want to orgasm, I basically said it being afraid of all the past scenarios of it happening fast, but I never felt close at that moment, just really aroused like during the majority of the night. This is good, it shows I can be well functioning sexually, and I feel the main factors that play a role here are being well rested, slept and fed, things that were not always the case with my regular activity packed travels lately, and also the fact that I have started masturbating these last days, even without orgasming, something that I've felt in the past gets me familiar with the feeling of arousal and being hard without finishing immediately. We'll see, even if it happens again it's fine, but it is good to know that it doesn't happen every single time I get hot with a girl.

 

[theReason]

And to get back to the frame strength, even this whole paragraph shows a part of why I don't have it that much. I am constantly trying to think how something comes off, what something else means, why something is happening, even girls have told me on dates that I have a very inquisitive look like I am paying attention to them and analysing them. Which is true in a way, because I try to understand what kind of people they are and how to stir the interaction to seduce them, but maybe it gets too far. It is part of the fun for me though, getting deep while remaining playful.

So, I game predominantly older women, because of that feminine energy you speak of. I'm into that too. I generally don't care to approach girls other than the sultry older women who are just as likely to open me when they see the lust in my eyes as I am to open them.

I've lost a lot of insta-lays, as a result of not leading well towards good logistics, and not moving them. But I'd say the underlying reason I don't lead good logistics or remember to move them is because my frame shatters and my world becomes "all about them." I'm constantly judging their reactions, and in worst cases, this literally makes them leave in disgust.

Ok, yeah, very bad, no fun, no way out, bad frame control is like cancer, your game eventually dies of it and there is no chemo.

But I think I've found my out, although it's kind of killed my... strong-form desire to go out and approach.

Basically, frame is about being authentic.

I know a million guys will tell you "FRAME IS ABOUT BEING AN ALPHA," "FRAME IS WHAT WOMEN WANT IN BED," "FRAME IS HOW I HAVE A BUNCH OF 18 YEAR OLD GIRLS WEARING A BLUETOOTH-CONTROLLED VIBRATING BUTTPLUG TO THEIR COLLEGE CLASSES EVERY DAY."

I get that, and for them, I'm sure they're right. Frame is definitely a part of it, and if a person's genuine soul attests to "analyzing situations to evaluate the correct positioning to acclimate to the human social constructs of Alpha Maleness," then, to them, frame is about being an alpha. And so on.

It's about what your soul longs for.

But think critically here, does your soul long for whatever this hoe wants? Following whatever her fleeting whims are?

I got nexted by a typical "opened a milf, escalated to makeout, bad logistical leading, number close" girl over text.

Boo-hoo, it happens, everybody loses girls over text now and then, it's a lossy medium.

But as soon as I was nexted by her, I had a pretty tremendous moment of clarity-- I genuinely dislike this girl.

I don't hate her, I don't hate people.

That said, I don't support her life decisions (she's an alcoholic, never married, lives 5 hours away from her family members to work a run of the mill wage-slave job, extremely hot-and-cold skittish).

She has a very girlish sexuality about her, which combined with her relative isolation, means she's probably very fun in bed for sure.

But I... literally don't support her as a person...

So let's say I went on a date with her, and from the beginning of the date, I was uncertain about whether the lay would go through.

Gotta be on my best behavior then! Right?

Gotta do whatever she feels like doing! Right?

Hopefully she wants to fuck me! Right?

Bro fuck what she wants. I'm not gonna rape her or anything, but f u c k, I don't agree with this girl's life decisions, why should I have to ask her what type of food she feels like eating?

Like bro, she's in my life when I'm around, I'm not stepping a fucking foot in hers.

Or let me rephrase that

Like bro, she's in my life when I'm around, I'm not stepping a fucking foot in her reality.

Her day-to-day reality is SHIT.

And she constructed it!

Holy shit!

I'm not letting her influence my fucking decisions at all when she's around! Keep me off that list!

How many people have ever delegated a decision to her? I don't know, but I don't wanna be on that list of people!

You and I, we literally don't have our lives together bro.

And it's nice and all to say "but we can have sex too, right? we don't have to have our lives together, we can just go fuck women!"

And if that's truly you, then great. If you are the type of guy who operates in a lean (I am saying this without judgement); gets pussy while in-debt and uncertain about his future because that's the skillset you have and the era of your journey that you are in, fantastic.

That's the true self of many men.

And it's difficult to become "your true self" when you know that you will be rewarded for the correct answer with pussy!

It puts a hell of a lot of stress on that decision, stress in all the wrong directions; it makes you think of the wrong things when people ask you what you want to do with your life.

But why do I say: "You and I, we literally don't have our lives together bro?"

Because having a strong personal frame, being willing to posit your decisions and worldview over a dominant woman, over a prickly idiot, over an overbearing boss, or an entire company, or an entire company, your friends and family, and every woman in the world-- that's having your life together. Anything else is wastewater, dude.

I know "what I think," I've always known "what I've considered important in the world." I've always known "my set of values." I've always known what I consider "right and wrong." I've always known what I consider "stupid behavior." I've always known what I consider "financially responsible behavior." I know what I consider wasteful of other people's time and effort. I know a number of rules I am willing to break, and I'm always open to learning about more rules I may be willing to break in the future. There are issues I don't have a deep-set opinion on, or are ignorant in, and I'll seek out the best opinion or what sways me the most and I'll lodge it deep inside my soul, just like all of my other very deeply held opinions and beliefs that form my personhood-- that which, the grave takes me, I'm still going to wish the world abided by.

But around girls, I've been suppressing that. Why? I don't know! Maybe it's just how I view seduction, I view seduction as submitting to the woman's desires.

Girls see my extward character put on an act, airs, backwards ways, that all make it seem to her that my core values are open to her critique. It makes it seem like I am telling them that I'm going to change that worldview for them, for the pussy.

But fundamentally, no, obviously no. I'm not going to change my opinions on "recycling plastic waste" based on whether a girl challenges me on it in a coquettish way.

So I just have to start acting on it.

A girl starts a dumb argument with the logical understanding of a three-year-old on the topic-- I'm not going to just roll over and be like, "oh my gosh, I love opinionated women, this is so hot."

That's literally demeaning her.

She deserves to know right from wrong.

I have no right to tell her she's right when she's wrong. It's not "bad frame control," IT'S LITERALLY A LIE.

She's a valid argumentative partner, not a fucking child. She just might be... good at making an argument sound nice when it's actually total bullshit, and you have to be mentally turned-on enough, tuned-in enough to be like "Huh? Wait, that's literally what you just said? You believe that? Bruh, no, that's bullshit. Sounds nice though; MAYBE I WISH IT WORKED THAT WAY, lol."

Hopefully this will speed up your 2025.

Like you see yourself as the opposite of your friends, you over-analyze things? Fine! But be that way around women as well. Don't go into lovey-dovey mode. Be Chris, the guy who will debate you on minute and esoteric details if you're wrong. Because that's a form of respect that you show others. And then let this extend to getting you what you want, pursuing your own goals in moving her, insisting on logistics-for-the-pull, etc. The more relevant things to the PiV conclusion.

Accept yourself as a series of opinions and goals, outside of seduction, then you can begin to integrate the women question into your life.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

Basically, frame is about being authentic.

I can see your point here and I'd say I agree in general.

The general thing is that mindset for a long time has been one of: Ok this one is hot, I would have sex with her, I don't care about anything else really for now, but if I want to have sex I have to find how and seduce her. What kind of person she was was irrelevant more or less, unless she was somehow unhealthy and having sex would pose a risk.

So I'd say for me it was never about delegating things to the girl or even caring really about how her life looks. I guess if we got to know each other more I would be more interested in that to check compatibility for something longer term, but my initial thought process has always been that everything starts with sex, so the whole point is to manage to get to sex and then you figure out the rest.

As a result I'd say that a lot of my issues in seduction come from this approach of literally focusing on getting the lay tactically and strategically no matter what, and as result constantly monitoring the girl and trying to adjust myself, in order to succeed. I still do that, but lately at least I feel I have started to care a bit less, and simply enjoy myself with the girl in the moment, and if my leading gets her to bed fine, if not whatever.

I'd say at least in my case most of my logistical problems lately have been due to travels and literally not knowing where to take the girl at the place we are at. I agree with what you say generally though, regarding that the important thing is what you really long for.

And it's nice and all to say "but we can have sex too, right? we don't have to have our lives together, we can just go fuck women!"

And if that's truly you, then great. If you are the type of guy who operates in a lean (I am saying this without judgement); gets pussy while in-debt and uncertain about his future because that's the skillset you have and the era of your journey that you are in, fantastic.

That's the true self of many men.

And it's difficult to become "your true self" when you know that you will be rewarded for the correct answer with pussy!

It puts a hell of a lot of stress on that decision, stress in all the wrong directions; it makes you think of the wrong things when people ask you what you want to do with your life.

I'm not exactly sure what you mean here, is it that it is stressful to make the decision to get great at getting girls while not having the rest of life figured out? I guess I don't mind that personally, it's literally what I am doing right now and for better or for worse I value way more succeeding to have sex with the women I want, compared to running a successful business or being an acclaimed scientist. And my thinking process is simple: Firstly, even if I do these later things I will also want to have sex with the women I want , and will be miserable if I don't, and secondly I can also do these later things later in life, since I have so many years in front of me that I can focus on things that don't require me to be that fit, healthy and virile as actively gaming a lot does.

And the thing is if I do manage to be great with girls and this is something I have solved in my life, I will have better clarity regarding what I really want to do and not doing things because I subconsciously believe that my success in them will bring me more girls. Not that I ever did that in fact, but I think it is a frame strengthener knowing you do what you do for you, and your seduction journey is not directly connected. That's how I am intending to live my life at least, which is why I am trying things and am a bit lost now, as I don't really know, what I would want to be doing professionally or as a mission that would fulfil me in itself.

So to close this, it's not that I only want to be getting pussy while being totally lost in life and this is my true self, but I do have it in a fairly high priority right now, and as long as I am still able to sustain myself, and explore what I would want to eventually focus on long term in life, I am fine with focusing a bunch on seducing the girls I want in the same time. It needs some delicate balance though, which I am still trying to find while desiring to progress in both fronts.

Because having a strong personal frame, being willing to posit your decisions and worldview over a dominant woman, over a prickly idiot, over an overbearing boss, or an entire company, or an entire company, your friends and family, and every woman in the world-- that's having your life together. Anything else is wastewater, dude.

I know "what I think," I've always known "what I've considered important in the world." I've always known "my set of values." I've always known what I consider "right and wrong." I've always known what I consider "stupid behavior." I've always known what I consider "financially responsible behavior." I know what I consider wasteful of other people's time and effort. I know a number of rules I am willing to break, and I'm always open to learning about more rules I may be willing to break in the future. There are issues I don't have a deep-set opinion on, or are ignorant in, and I'll seek out the best opinion or what sways me the most and I'll lodge it deep inside my soul, just like all of my other very deeply held opinions and beliefs that form my personhood-- that which, the grave takes me, I'm still going to wish the world abided by.

But around girls, I've been suppressing that. Why? I don't know! Maybe it's just how I view seduction, I view seduction as submitting to the woman's desires.

Girls see my extward character put on an act, airs, backwards ways, that all make it seem to her that my core values are open to her critique. It makes it seem like I am telling them that I'm going to change that worldview for them, for the pussy.

But fundamentally, no, obviously no. I'm not going to change my opinions on "recycling plastic waste" based on whether a girl challenges me on it in a coquettish way.

So I just have to start acting on it.

A girl starts a dumb argument with the logical understanding of a three-year-old on the topic-- I'm not going to just roll over and be like, "oh my gosh, I love opinionated women, this is so hot."

That's literally demeaning her.

She deserves to know right from wrong.

I have no right to tell her she's right when she's wrong. It's not "bad frame control," IT'S LITERALLY A LIE.

She's a valid argumentative partner, not a fucking child. She just might be... good at making an argument sound nice when it's actually total bullshit, and you have to be mentally turned-on enough, tuned-in enough to be like "Huh? Wait, that's literally what you just said? You believe that? Bruh, no, that's bullshit. Sounds nice though; MAYBE I WISH IT WORKED THAT WAY, lol."

Regarding this, I think my personal issue is that I just don't care. In the past I would go into arguments about things for example. But I have started realising that people have their way of seeing the world and trying to prove to them I am right or anything doesn't matter really. In their reality they are right, and even if to me they are stupid, to them they are not, so there clearly is a reality for them where I am stupid, and I have no interest trying to prove I am not.

Probably this makes me feel like I am distant and not very opinionated. I just believe that many things are relative, you see them the way you do based on your experiences, I can talk about issues, let both parties think, but I rarely try to convince people, because I don't think it's my job. If what you believe works for you and your life, it's probably the right thing for you to believe. If it is a dealbreaker for me, we are not gonna be friends or business partners, if it is something trivial I will simply brush it off and focus on the rest of the things that bond us.

You could say I am just not good at constructing arguments and winning debates, I guess you could argue that, but in the end for me it was always about the discussion, letting the parties think, without any goal of winning. I don't believe I know everything anyway, I am open to new opinions and it is possible that the way someone else sees the world, even a girl that is silly and cute, could teach me something.

All this I feel could be hurting me in seductions because it can feel I am too accommodating towards a woman's point of view, opinions or frames, when really what I am doing is I accept them as being true for her, while not believing they are true for me, and simply looking at them with a critical eye thinking whether I could learn something new about the world, about her, and how to interact with her in order to to make the seduction successful.

Because honestly as I said before all these views, opinions etc are truly irrelevant for me for the seduction as I believe they matter after the sex when things may get more serious, while the sex is my starting point and to get there I simply have to know how to use what she says or does. Which makes most things tactical or strategic problems, basically how to respond to a girl that says she is a feminist in order to bed her, how to open a girl that believes is the hottest in the club in order to get her, how to talk to a girl that believes I am a prick and without morals in order to get her. If I fully understood and knew how to act in all these occasions to get them to bed, I don't think I would care what their frames or beliefs are, I would simply sleep them, let them chase me after sex, and decided whether I want to continue something with them myself.

So maybe it would be good as a tactic to be more argumentative with certain women and smashing their frames forcefully, imposing mine, or even generally as a strategy to come off less accommodating and understanding of their needs and desires, because this makes me feel weak. These are things I have to calibrate better, because due to this idea of deep diving and similarity I have been trying to avoid getting very combative, but it could be that it makes me look spineless and like a yes man sometimes.

Like you see yourself as the opposite of your friends, you over-analyze things? Fine! But be that way around women as well. Don't go into lovey-dovey mode. Be Chris, the guy who will debate you on minute and esoteric details if you're wrong. Because that's a form of respect that you show others. And then let this extend to getting you what you want, pursuing your own goals in moving her, insisting on logistics-for-the-pull, etc. The more relevant things to the PiV conclusion.

Accept yourself as a series of opinions and goals, outside of seduction, then you can begin to integrate the women question into your life.

Oh but that's the things, I may analyse things but I don't deliberately talk about them, or debate people on them for the reasons I described above. I may have discussions, or if the other party is very strong in their opinions just brush it off as someone that is not open to listen, but I generally don't entertain trying to win arguments, basically because most arguments that would be dealbreakers I wouldn't even debate about. If the girl believes in magic, crystals and quantum healing for example, I am not even going to argue with her, if you don't believe in the scientific method there is nothing I can say that will make you to, you can construct arguments forever that have no base on real science to explain what you want explained. Will I still try to sleep with the girl if she is hot? Sure I will. Will I accept a gift from her that is a crystal for good luck? Sure why not. Will I make a family with her if I know she would want our children to not go to the doctor but be healed with the power of whatever? Surely not. But this last one is so far away, that the only reason I would argue with her on her beliefs initially is if I knew it was the right thing to do, to increase my probability of sleeping with the hottie.

And if you ask why I care so much about sleeping with whatever hottie, I'd say I see it as getting experience. If I am able to sleep with certain hot girls, it means I could sleep with other hot girls, regardless of their backgrounds, opinions etc. I just believe that the main difficulty when it comes to sleeping with a woman has to do with how hot she thinks she is in comparison to you, so the more hot girls I can make feel I am hotter than them and a win for them, the more probable it is that I will find few that I will want to keep after sex.

I will close by saying though, that both knowing you have certain frames and opinions, and also showing them to the girls is important. Because if they feel they could walk all over you, even if after sex they wouldn't, it doesn't really matter, it still feels you are doing whatever you can to get sex, which is unattractive.

 

[theReason]

Read the paragraph starting with "I think" (fifth paragraph) and then read to the end (of the post).

What do you think?

 

[gameboy]

Love how you solved the logistical issue with that girl! You're making great progress

 

[ChrisXKiss]

Read the paragraph starting with "I think" (fifth paragraph) and then read to the end (of the post).

What do you think?

Yeah I have read this previously, and I do feel I am in the screw it, I don’t care category a bit.

In fact I was in this category a lot more in the past, and after starting to learn seduction I started to try to better use my frames to get the results I want.

It’s still something I do as a tactic to reach the goal of bedding the girl though. In principle I don’t think I care much even now about trying to convince people for stuff. And it could be affecting my seductions, but at least I believe that when it comes to purely improving seductive skills I am open to using techniques to reach the goal of sex. So I am willing to learn to be more influential in this context, simply because I care about the result it brings.

It could be that if I make a business I will start caring about being influential in that front as well. Unless there is a clear result I want that I have to use persuasion to get it though, I prefer not bothering with whatever people want to believe.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

Love how you solved the logistical issue with that girl! You're making great progress

Did I though I mean there was no sex in the end, but I see your point, we did get somehow sexual. Thanks anyway

 

[gameboy]

Did I though I mean there was no sex in the end, but I see your point, we did get somehow sexual. Thanks anyway

Haha well next stop is to go all the way!

 

[theReason]

It’s still something I do as a tactic to reach the goal of bedding the girl though. In principle I don’t think I care much even now about trying to convince people for stuff. And it could be affecting my seductions, but at least I believe that when it comes to purely improving seductive skills I am open to using techniques to reach the goal of sex. So I am willing to learn to be more influential in this context, simply because I care about the result it brings.

"So I am willing to learn to be more influential in this context, simply because I care about the result it brings"

sounds like

"I am willing to learn to be more influential—but only in THIS context, because I don't care about influencing any other results that may be brought about through contact with another human being, as long as I get sex. Because I have no standards for my life outside of sex."

If your genuine self only cared about influencing affairs as they relate to sex, you would be having sex. But nobody is actually that non-judgmental. Everybody wants to change little things about the world from time to time.

You need to become more comfortable expressing your actual points of view (in general, and in-set).

I say you can always tell the top and the bottom in a couples photo because the top always has a big creepy smile and the bottom always has the facial expression of a holocaust victim. You clearly have a lot of unresolved trauma that you are bringing into these interactions with women, and the only way to take control is to take control, not cede control.

https://www.verywellmind.com/emotional-flooding-7975685

You Must Fix Your 'Inner Game' (by Doing External Things)Girls Chasehttps://www.girlschase.com › node

 

[ChrisXKiss]

"I am willing to learn to be more influential—but only in THIS context, because I don't care about influencing any other results that may be brought about through contact with another human being, as long as I get sex. Because I have no standards for my life outside of sex."

I never said that and I will ask you nicely to not put in my mouth words I didn't say. I never said I don't care about any other influencing results as long as I get sex. Of course I care about women and don't want to hurt them just to get sex, I simply don't care about changing their lifeviews when I meet them for the first time and want to sleep with them.

If your genuine self only cared about influencing affairs as they relate to sex, you would be having sex. But nobody is actually that non-judgmental. Everybody wants to change little things about the world from time to time.

Also I never said I am totally non-judgemental. I may not like something about a girl, but as I said I may not express it, because I want to build similarity in order to make the seduction more effective. That is why I mentioned that it probably is a wrong way to go about things generally and I have to calibrate it.

You need to become more comfortable expressing your actual points of view (in general, and in-set).

In this I agree, with the caveat that it has to be done in a way that doesn't build dissimilarity with a girl. That's where I try to balance myself, expressing my opinions and frames more strongly, but in ways that are smooth, don't feel forceful, and don't feel like I don't get the girl.

I say you can always tell the top and the bottom in a couples photo because the top always has a big creepy smile and the bottom always has the facial expression of a holocaust victim. You clearly have a lot of unresolved trauma that you are bringing into these interactions with women, and the only way to take control is to take control, not cede control.

I am not sure about the creepy smile/holocaust victim thing, it feels way over the top the way you express it here, that all couple photos would look like that, but I can agree there are ways to notice the bottom and top.

I don't like the way you make so certain psychological assumptions about me though, after reading few posts on a forum. I am not even talking about whether or not I have some unresolved trauma, but about the way you expressed it.

And regarding the girls chase post on fixing inner game by doing external things, I literally have the numbers of the guy Chase describes in the article with thousands of approaches and very few lays. So it's not that I have to take more action to escape my fears for sure. Give me any situation you like that is not endangering my life and tell me to go cold approach a girl, I will do it, it may not work out in the end, but I will do the approach. The only thing regarding taking action to fight fears I can think and have in my mind, is working on different things, like improving fundamentals and social circle gaming.

Stuff like that yeah, not only it will help make me more comfortable in different areas, but it will also boost some of my game from a different side and give me the opportunity to improve it more. I simply wanted to do these, at the point where I was at least satisfied with how I perform with the girls that are already interested in my approaches. Because my belief was that these things would elevate my game and give me the chance to get with hotter girls, but if I cannot even do well with the less hot girls that like me, I have no reason to believe I will somehow do with the more hot girls that will like me in the future.

I think I am getting to the point though that these factors start to become very important regarding how I grow further. Maybe I am just extremely slow, but I know one thing, I will keep going, and I am stubborn enough that I know I won't stop until I am able to get certain high caliber girls. Can't say if I will stop at a long term relationship with one, or I will want multiple ones, or other kind of arrangements, but I know I am not gonna settle. And exactly because I know that at some point all people start settling, I am focusing on this whole thing now, hoping that in the next 10 years, when I am in my late thirties I will have managed to have enough of a choice of high caliber women, that even if I end up settling, it won't really be settling.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

Introduction

I came back after the christmas holidays and it didn’t feel any good in the beginning, I did few approaches, but they felt off, and I was also preparing for another trip so my mind was mostly there to be honest.

I’ve been so back and forth lately that it has been a struggle maintaining social functions in my city. I still have a bunch of texts from girls that I messaged for happy new year that are waiting, and I had few matches on dating apps I totally forgot to continue the conversation with.

Anyway I plan to at least come back and reconnect with all of them and see what can come out, but this specific post will mostly be focused on what happened during this 4-5 day trip. I’ll take it day by day just to help me organise things. I’m sorry in advance for any lack of details, I thought for a bit to write these down the days they exactly happened to have them fresh, but decided I didn’t want to lose time from the place I was at.

Day 1

I arrive at this big East Asian city around early evening, and decide to take a boat tour in the harbour right away. I approach a girl in the boat, wasn’t very receptive although we talked for a bit, figured out she was engaged with her guy sick in the hotel, at least I did not hesitate to build some momentum.

After that I went to my hotel, basically a guesthouse room, nothing fancy, but worked for me. The worst thing was that I realised I picked an area fairly dead after midnight even on a Saturday. Before trying to go out though, I opened my dating apps just to see what’s going on.

I have to say here that when I go to these trips I have started to mention on the apps exactly how much I am going to stay to screen out girls that seek long term stuff, and basically only get matches that would be more down to meet in the short visit context. This surely plays a role in the number of matches I get, but even like that for Asia I still feel I get too few, very far from the dating paradise for Westerners I had heard stories of.

Online Crush

Checking through the apps I saw one like that also had a first message by the girl, a simple hey, and although she mostly had face portrait pics she looked cute and fairly real. We started chatting, she was extremely talkative from the beginning, I didn’t even have time to think what to respond and she was sending a new message, and was basically complimenting me quite a lot. I chilled back giving few cool responses, teasing her, and moving things towards a meet.

We exchanged numbers, and when we started chatting in whatsapp, we had already talked about meeting the next day, because we were too far and too late for the same one. Sadly she seemed to erase her dating profile later, so can’t retrieve any of the chat there, but from the rest of the conversation she kept telling me funny, confident, wondering why I want to go out with her and not with another girl, and she had this weird thing that she thought she had seen me earlier with another date outside her window.

At some point she asked for a video call to not be catfished, I agreed, we had the call for few minutes, she at least looked decently cute which was a relief, and when we closed it, she told me that I am cute and started proposing to go see some view, or just stay at her place, or go partying, she was just firing everything and I barely had time to respond.

Eventually, since I had a plan to go to her side of the city anyway, we agreed to meet there in the evening after I would be done with my sightseeing. Checking that noone else promising matched/responded I headed out, it was around 1pm, with hopes to at least enjoy this Saturday night a bit.

It did all look dead though, so I simply walked around street approaching if I saw any girl, with a plan to get back home in a few minutes and rest for the next day, since I was tired and fairly sleepless from the long flight.

African Street

Little did I know, that I would meet a girl that the moment I opened her with a compliment, not only did she look at me with eyes full of desire but she also started asking me right away what my name was and we got interacting pretty fast. She was planning to take an uber to go to the other side of the city where all the crazy nightlife was, she asked me to go with her, and I was like whatever let’s do it.

We jumped in the taxi which she paid since I had no local money and they would only take cash, we drove to the nightlife area, and she showed me a bit around, before going to a club. I paid for both our entrances there to make up for the taxi, and when in we met two friends of hers momentarily, one guy and one girl, before ordering drinks and just chilling together.

Funny thing here is that the guy saw me we shaked hands and he was smiling asking me repeatedly if I am good, I guess he was trying to find out if I am safe for the girl, or maybe he was just weird who knows. We were not really interrupted by anyone else when in the club though, and I also took her to a quieter area to talk a bit.

The thing is that she was probably attracted to me, but it felt like she was leading me around or that she had control. She would say things like I like your beard and would start playing with it, or she would basically stand in my embrace in the elevator with her ass and back against my front and torso, while at the same time it didn’t feel like she was open to escalation, from my side. I can’t exactly explain how I felt that, it could be that I was just very slow and should have made a quicker move or proposed to go to her place, since she mentioned she lived close. She did have this role though of let’s show you around, so I didn’t really feel I could lead her there.

Strange scenario for me, I’m sure I did things wrong, but not exactly what I should have done with her. After spending some time in the club, walking around outside with her wanting to maybe check a different one, and then ending back at the same place, we kinda started dancing close, she was moving her butt on my dick, but when I turned her in and moved my head closer she was keeping her head away and wasn’t feeling it for a kiss.

After that she asked me to buy her a drink, I told her she can go buy one if she wants, and then she did and basically never came back. All this interaction was fairly perplexing to me, because I would really bet she was attracted, and couldn’t figure out what she wanted me to do. Only thing in my mind is taking things even faster, and being more blatantly sexual myself. I guess I hesitated to go all in exactly after we arrived at the club and move for the pull. But any other insights are welcome. For context, the girl wasn’t from there, she was African, and was telling me she didn’t even like it there, and was just staying for the money, and to fund her business back in Africa. So it did fit my idea of African girls being really openly sexual, which is something I like and it is a shame I could not capitalise on.

Local club

Anyway, I was still in the club, she was drinking at the bar by herself so I walked a bit around, went to the dancefloor, came back and saw one quite hot Asian girl sitting at a table by herself. Initially I just went, gave her a direct compliment and left, but shortly after that, seeing she was still all alone there, and having felt her receptiveness from the first time, I went back.

Teased her with a: what happened, they left you here all alone? , and we started talking. I don’t remember a lot of details but there was a bunch of teasing involved, she told me she was a part time model in the past but now works in finance, we somehow went into men to women topics as well, and she told me she just scares men away, and I will also hate her in a bit. All these were said with confidence by the way, so I simply told her she is just so sweet a cute I am not gonna be intimidated.

We kept talking, I was using some chase frames, like how she was trying to seduce me, and although she wasn’t fully on board she was staying there and continuing to talk. At some point I went for a kiss, she pulled back, told me again how now I should be starting to dislike her, and I didn’t even flinch. It wasn’t even a strategy I really couldn’t care less, I told her that if other guys cannot handle her and just react negatively I don’t care, I’m not like that, I know she gives me a vibe so I will express it and if she is also down good, if not good as well.

I’m pretty sure she was getting intrigued by all that, so we stayed there interacting, I kept talking to her after the failed kiss more or less like nothing changed, and later I proposed different things like dancing together, or going for a drink, but she wouldn’t follow me anywhere else, as she wanted to be with her friends that were having a birthday party. She also said how I am just a playboy, and I told her that if I was just a playboy I would have been going around chatting every girl in the club, while I am staying there with her because I dig her energy.

She also asked me about what I am doing, and after I got into how I studied physics, she got very interested, asking a bunch of questions about parallel universes, and I told her something like: I cannot tell you everything here in the club, don’t want to make you all horny like that in public, we should meet and chat about it somewhere else. With this transition I took her number, as I felt it would be crazy difficult to take her from her friends anyway that night.

We kept talking a bit more, and at some point she wanted to go to the toilet. Then I decided to walk around a bit as well, found the African girl again, we had a very short chat, she decided to leave the place, so I left as well and followed her.

Tried to talk to her outside, told her to be real and let’s cut the bullshit and the games. She told me it’s no games, I didn’t want to buy her a drink so that’s it, there is nothing to talk about more. Then she just left to go back to her place with a taxi, and I texted the other girl in the club that I had to leave for an early start the next day.

And I did try to leave, but I still had no cash to pay any taxi to take me close to my place at the other side of the city. So it was either finding an atm to take cash out, or waiting till dawn for the train.

Late night fun

I started walking around to see what I could find and apart from asking people for information, I was also doing few night street approaches. Most of them were falling flat, but at some point there was one girl that was walking downhill, with a red coat, and a leopard print dress and high heels, very sexily presented, that did stop and seemed to have the mood to interact more.

Nothing crazy in the face but she was making me feel something in general, and her body was tight. Interesting thing is I had the faint idea that she was in the same club I was earlier, and she also told me in fact she had gone out to celebrate the birthday of a friend, which made me wonder if I am celebrating this birthday too much myself.

She felt a bit drunk, and very quickly in fact told me she is hungry and we can hang out if I buy her some food. Now I generally wouldn’t, but for some reason I thought that not buying the drink before didn’t work, so whatever let’s see what buying the food can bring. So we went to a local fast food place and bought some stuff I had no idea about, went to a closed place’s table nearby and started eating.

I could feel that the girl was into me, and with the food she was also getting sober, but she didn’t seem very interested in more. There were moments that I was feeling the sexual vibe so I went in for a kiss with an excuse like helping her with the spicy taste of the food. She rejected it, we kept talking normally, and she started telling me how to be hitting girls on the street that late at night I must be some kind of loser that couldn’t get his first choice and was going after the leftovers. No reaction to this, I simply told her that maybe she is the lucky one to get the guy the others couldn’t catch.

I then went on about how she excites me, but I am still ok whether something happens or not, through our conversation she has grown on me and I am having fun anyway. Suddenly she started talking about how her city used to be great and now everything is going wrong, and she started crying. I stood there and comforted her a bit holding her in my arms and wiping her tears and told her maybe we should get her home to rest.

She was saying she was fine, and we had to finish the food so we went on with it. Throughout that period I had probably gone for a kiss one or two times more that were rejected and then we kept going as previously, until we reached a point where she smacked me on the arm and told me: fuck you are making me horny. Honestly I was just being a solid dude, showing my interest without being affected by her rebuffs until then mostly, but I was kinda expecting it, I mean that she would be excited eventually, I guess I had a pretty strong frame about that.

An interesting thing is she told me that she hadn’t been with a guy for a long time, over a year, not even kissing, so she was quite hesitant about doing something with a random person she met outside the clubs. I told her I am not random since we have been talking for a while and enjoying each other and also that for me it is about cherishing the moment, and following what you feel you want, if she doesn’t feel it it’s fine. I was even saying these before she told me she was horny, and she agreed so it was quite a struggle to rationalise why not to do something eventually when she did get horny.

By the way, like the first African girl she was quite an imposing character and very talkative, she slapped me in the butt very early in the conversation and she was telling me how so many guys wanted her tonight but she rejected them all. In the end it was late so we decided to get back to our places, which happened to be close to each orher.

Now here is when I was having a pull in mind, the thing is I told her I am in a guesthouse, and she said they are filthy and she would never go to one. Nevertheless we were walking very close, entered the metro, she put her legs on mine, I was rubbing them a bit, and at some point I knew it was very on, I took them from my lap, turned and went for a kiss another time. She did resist a bit again, basically kept her head to the side slightly, but I was sure she wanted it at that point so I slightly manhandled her and she didn’t resist anymore.

From that the things were established between us, she would snuggle in my arms, hold my hand, kiss me back, and we reached the station were we would part ways and decided to sit at a bench there for a while.

We kissed a lot, quite passionately, I could feel we were both very horny, but she kept saying she wouldn’t go to a guesthouse, and if only I could book a normal hotel, she wouldn’t meet me on another night. I told her I cannot promise that, but we can exchange numbers and see what happens. We did, and then she basically wouldn’t let me leave by kissing and other things she was holding herself from doing because we were in a public place with people around. It was also close to her home where she was living with her family and was afraid of people who knew her seeing us. At some point I just told her I had to go rest as it was 7 am already and we parted ways

I went home, had about 1-2 hours of sleep and headed out for some more sightseeing for the next day, thinking that all this had exhausted me so much that I was hoping it wouldn’t affect my planned date with the online girl.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

Day 2

Approaches

That day I did a number of approaches in the city. There was a very sweet girl with nice body I got the number of early in the morning. She was local but was going to a trip the next day, so I just said we can see if we could find time that day, although at that moment I was planned for the online girl. But I thought, who knows.

Another girl was with a friend, asked me to translate my compliment in the phone, and then I saw her friend was taking a video of us. We exchanged social media and after coming back I realised I was part of her reel for her vacation in that place. Extra weird to see yourself while talking to a girl in a video, especially when there is a huge caption with your compliment in English and in her own language.

Online girl

While going sightseeing I received a message very early by the online girl for good morning and then we kept exchanging here and there. She was asking me if I am still interested in seeing her or if I found anyone else around my age, since she was quite older. I was telling her I want to meet her, she was asking if we can meet for the whole day, and she doesn’t want to babysit.

I told her we don’t need to sit we can stand, and after laughing she answered to my time proposal for the meet, saying that she doesn’t feel like doing something for short term fun, and wishes me a good time around. This was around lunch time, didn’t respond for about an hour.

Anyway I continued going around, texted the online girl that there is no pressure I understand. She told me she is uncomfortable meeting strangers so I told her that’s fine, I also wanted the video call to be sure, and if we can find time to meet somewhere in public safely I would love it. After all that she kept texting asking how my tour was and proposing things, but at that point it was evening and way past the meeting time we had originally discussed.

Sweetie date

Good for me though, because the sweet girl from the morning that was leaving the next day texted me that she finished work and is free to meet. I took some time to plan it because I was in the middle of checking what will happen with the other girl, eventually got out of battery as well, but before that I had managed to plan a date with the sweet girl for that evening. Basically my day plan was going exactly as it was in the morning just with a different girl in the date.

We met, and my god, she brought me a cute little print of a panting she had made as a gift, I was thinking how more sweet can you be. We walked by the sea quite a bit, lovely girl but wasn’t really feeling any sexual tension. We sat at a bench and I started introducing topics closer to intimacy. I could see though that she was very much about finding someone long term, to the point of kissing someone being a huge deal for her.

I told her I understand and I cannot promise anything from so far away but I know what she makes me feel now. I went for a kiss, she rejected it, we talked a bit more and then parted ways realising that there is a huge gap in how we see things and what we want. Still with very nice energy though, she even texted me to thank me for the night before I could even reach my place.

While getting there I met a hottish tall girl in the subway, fairly basic interaction but we exchanged numbers because I proposed to meet some other time and she was down. Even texted me first after a bit to ask when I am free.

Online date

The reason I didn’t go for something with her then and there, apart from her going home, is that the online girl had texted me by the end of my date that now she feels bad we didn’t meet.

I told her I was going home but was still down to do something. She was saying we could plan it for another day since it’s late, and I told her another day didn’t work the first time, let’s do today. She even asked me to come to her place to walk around, to which I agreed and we talked about checking a bar near her place.

I took the metro and arrived at her area where she was waiting for me. We started walking by the sea to get to the bar, it ended up being quite far, so we walked a lot. Some teases, not the strongest vibe, but after we found out all the bars were closed at that time, and started walking back, I tried to get the vibe more sexual, mostly by how I was looking and feeling around her. Important to note here that I hadn’t slept almost at all the previous night and during the flight so I was very tired, and accessing seductive states was not the easiest thing.

I proposed to sit at a bench, stirred the conversation towards what kind of guys she likes, the vibe was getting more on, so I tried to find an excuse for a kiss. I don’t remember exactly, but it was something stupid probably like her telling me she is cold and me saying I know a way to help by looking deep into her eyes. And in fact she moved in to kiss me first. We exchanged some more, with my initiative as well, but not too many as we started walking to get back to her place, as was kinda originally planned after missing the bar.

Fairly normal walk with some bursts of passion of me grabbing and kissing her, I also gave her my coat since she was cold indeed. As we were arriving at her place though, she just said something along the lines of here is mine, and you go that way to take the metro.

I basically brushed it off with yeah ok, and kept walking towards her place. At the door of the building she stopped, told me how she is gonna get in and I should go. I don’t remember the whole conversation there, but I tried not to say too much and basically depend mostly on my vibe. One thing she was mentioning was how late it was and that she wanted to go rest for the next day. I had already told her that I would make sure she sleeps well, but what really worked was when I said: Ok, I’ll come for 5 minutes, when you feel like sleeping you tell me to go. To this she just said ok and we went in.

At her apartment she had the TV open watching shark tank as she was interested in business. So we sat there at her couch and I made a comment about it so we started watching. Damn this guy’s idea was good, not so good for me though because after about half an hour she told me she was tired and wanted to sleep so I had to leave.

Nah trolled you hard here. We closed the tv, kissed, licked and fucked. Good thing is that I didn’t feel any urge to finish before getting in, that said I lasted only few minutes when inside. The extreme fatigue of the day surely played a role, so I feel with some more kegel exercises and not being so tired, I can do fine. After that we cuddled just for a bit before I left to let her rest, to her credit she proposed me to take a shower there, but I preferred to go to my place. It was already 2+am and I wanted to wake up early for a tour the next day, and that’s what I did.