I have given myself therapy though that lingering pain and wish to cry remains and best way for me to get it out is to write.
I know I will never know the reasons to why she ghosted me.
Who knows she suddenly decided not to text me.
Ok works I should have not deleted her number but its fine.
Ok now.
But belive in your skills you will get someone better.
You are just inatuated with her becuase you were not able to dominate her emotianally like other girls because she did not submited to you.
But is there a point making anyone submit if you want to win anyones emotions that should be yours.
First emotion to master is calm.
First thing to control is anger
Where should my enegry lie trying to get something back which I can't of circumstance being out of my control or focus on something which is in my control.
Its what in my control.
Biggest lie is your heart is not in your control.
No it is, laregly it is maybe not in some moments but it is
What is further in control is action.
When emotions run wild think through once.
Action is one in control.
Making yourself feel secure is and what is basis of that security its not faith in someone else but yourself.
So do things which brings faith of you in yourself
Its in my hand to make myself feel secure and my security should be in my hands not in anyones
I am solely responsible towards it and I will work toward achiving it absolutely
I know I will never know the reasons to why she ghosted me.
Who knows she suddenly decided not to text me.
Ok works I should have not deleted her number but its fine.
Ok now.
But belive in your skills you will get someone better.
You are just inatuated with her becuase you were not able to dominate her emotianally like other girls because she did not submited to you.
But is there a point making anyone submit if you want to win anyones emotions that should be yours.
First emotion to master is calm.
First thing to control is anger
Where should my enegry lie trying to get something back which I can't of circumstance being out of my control or focus on something which is in my control.
Its what in my control.
Biggest lie is your heart is not in your control.
No it is, laregly it is maybe not in some moments but it is
What is further in control is action.
When emotions run wild think through once.
Action is one in control.
Making yourself feel secure is and what is basis of that security its not faith in someone else but yourself.
So do things which brings faith of you in yourself
Its in my hand to make myself feel secure and my security should be in my hands not in anyones
I am solely responsible towards it and I will work toward achiving it absolutely
Reframing shit test/unconducive answers comments
Works if girls likes and makes a fux pass
First say
Is that your way of saying ... Then whatever is favourable to situation and seduction
Eg.
she Dressed up
Me curious how you are pulling it off
She curiosity kills the cat
Me is that your way of saying you are drapped killer
She sends her pic with smartass comment (she liked it)
Another
she i dont get you are Annoying
Me dw
She emoji of facepalm
Me what you mean is I am different and you want to know me more
She yes are refereshing
Stumbled across myself experimenting it
Works if girls likes and makes a fux pass
First say
Is that your way of saying ... Then whatever is favourable to situation and seduction
Eg.
she Dressed up
Me curious how you are pulling it off
She curiosity kills the cat
Me is that your way of saying you are drapped killer
She sends her pic with smartass comment (she liked it)
Another
she i dont get you are Annoying
Me dw
She emoji of facepalm
Me what you mean is I am different and you want to know me more
She yes are refereshing
Stumbled across myself experimenting it
Rules for me dont text after 12 to meet girls. (Be very ambigious if needed)
This is how I started generating negative compliance.
Rule 2 dont delete her number and if you are getting affected by a girl so much post lay as to delete her number then try best to lock her in
Lastly, dont experiment on things you dont want to lose. This is start of sappy text. Keep doing what is working with a girl.
Text for logistics keep them to that only.
This is how I started generating negative compliance.
Rule 2 dont delete her number and if you are getting affected by a girl so much post lay as to delete her number then try best to lock her in
Lastly, dont experiment on things you dont want to lose. This is start of sappy text. Keep doing what is working with a girl.
Text for logistics keep them to that only.
First on my attraction triggers.
Wealthy family. (Mine is not)
Have lived a life I wanted to live. ( Ambitious + party type)
Worldly/ has interest in life/ full of life and energy
Artistic - similar profession
Flirty and playful
Maybe some physical sports in school
Achiver of sorts
So yeah basically you seek what you dont have.
Wealthy family. (Mine is not)
Have lived a life I wanted to live. ( Ambitious + party type)
Worldly/ has interest in life/ full of life and energy
Artistic - similar profession
Flirty and playful
Maybe some physical sports in school
Achiver of sorts
So yeah basically you seek what you dont have.
Yeah went out of sarging.
Monday is a fucking bad day.
My problem is not approach anxiety.
Its getting volume of the kind of girls I want.
I went out of house around 6:30.
Came at 5:30 - 1 hour for prepping.
6:30-7 reaching the destination.
7-9:20 approaching.
Going back home 9:40 est. - soo total time spent 3 hours.
But approach made 2. There was no quality in those and Ideally i wont count them.
So yeah walking on street on monday is no go.
Better would be a park where joggers come - can get 3 here
1-2 on the route and station.
Now the approach I will count it is.
The girl should be hotter than for whom I had oneitis
2nd approach should last more than 5 mins. And have a plan before number ask.
If I get it done this counts as a apporach
I have chosen target of 120 approaches before writing off cold apporach and putting my energies somewhere else.
By 120 approaches either I will develop the skills and learning otherwise this field is not cut for me.
1st approach - by looks she qualifes hotter than my OI but apporach itself does not qualify.
Coz, I walking using my phone I see 2 girls talking. I ignore and walk past but I had wasted 3 hours so I was like why not approach her.
I did by complimenting her hair.
Hi (pause)
Her attention
Opener, waking, saw ur beautifil hair had to compliment
She smiles.
Then I feel ackward, so I am like oks I am rush, I want to know you more.
She says not interested.
I say cool and try to hifive.
Man she dont reciprocate much.
Anyways I am happy as I approached.
2nd walking on station
A girls chappal was making too much sound, I comment ur chappals are making too much noise.
She eye rolls me, probably I can do cheeky and playful openers now
If I end up finding the venues with volume and do 10 proper apporaches then I will make a separate journal.
Cause this ones more of an emotional dump.
Monday is a fucking bad day.
My problem is not approach anxiety.
Its getting volume of the kind of girls I want.
I went out of house around 6:30.
Came at 5:30 - 1 hour for prepping.
6:30-7 reaching the destination.
7-9:20 approaching.
Going back home 9:40 est. - soo total time spent 3 hours.
But approach made 2. There was no quality in those and Ideally i wont count them.
So yeah walking on street on monday is no go.
Better would be a park where joggers come - can get 3 here
1-2 on the route and station.
Now the approach I will count it is.
The girl should be hotter than for whom I had oneitis
2nd approach should last more than 5 mins. And have a plan before number ask.
If I get it done this counts as a apporach
I have chosen target of 120 approaches before writing off cold apporach and putting my energies somewhere else.
By 120 approaches either I will develop the skills and learning otherwise this field is not cut for me.
1st approach - by looks she qualifes hotter than my OI but apporach itself does not qualify.
Coz, I walking using my phone I see 2 girls talking. I ignore and walk past but I had wasted 3 hours so I was like why not approach her.
I did by complimenting her hair.
Hi (pause)
Her attention
Opener, waking, saw ur beautifil hair had to compliment
She smiles.
Then I feel ackward, so I am like oks I am rush, I want to know you more.
She says not interested.
I say cool and try to hifive.
Man she dont reciprocate much.
Anyways I am happy as I approached.
2nd walking on station
A girls chappal was making too much sound, I comment ur chappals are making too much noise.
She eye rolls me, probably I can do cheeky and playful openers now
If I end up finding the venues with volume and do 10 proper apporaches then I will make a separate journal.
Cause this ones more of an emotional dump.
The way plausible deniability works is for inviting home for sex.
Not to get her out on the deal, she knows the deal is about for fun, to get to know each other some activity what you want to do together. If you have shown intent properly it wont be an issue.
Don't make it a big deal or use excuses like I want to celebrate etc. (big romantic gesture, what she has done to earn it?)
Be romantic to girls after conversion or in person but not on text.
Look for how emotionally available she is first.
Dont mistake emotional talk girl, has after drinks or in very romantic mood her real self.
How she behaves at first/start of date or during the day is her real behaviour.
Night makes a different person of a girl. In moring her true self and logic will take over.
2nd don't plan what you will do on dates etc. or what you will tell her until actual date (unnecessary mental investment)
Heck even be convervative and lean towards 5 lays to be sure the girl is sticking.
Not to get her out on the deal, she knows the deal is about for fun, to get to know each other some activity what you want to do together. If you have shown intent properly it wont be an issue.
Don't make it a big deal or use excuses like I want to celebrate etc. (big romantic gesture, what she has done to earn it?)
Be romantic to girls after conversion or in person but not on text.
Look for how emotionally available she is first.
Dont mistake emotional talk girl, has after drinks or in very romantic mood her real self.
How she behaves at first/start of date or during the day is her real behaviour.
Night makes a different person of a girl. In moring her true self and logic will take over.
2nd don't plan what you will do on dates etc. or what you will tell her until actual date (unnecessary mental investment)
Heck even be convervative and lean towards 5 lays to be sure the girl is sticking.
Read article on comformity reframe.
How it works is you just dont have say outright that everyone is doing it... Rather its like socratic question
Why or what is the source of the frame, why they are saying what they are saying and how its not a real conformity.
Eg. Sleeping fast is bad why cause influencer say it
Then say someone made it up and copying etc.
Or she could say my mum told me or first time needs to be special
Then come up with say those were different times and today its different
Then what people are doing and what is real in right now better with an example
And now her objection is addressed with a laugh move on with seduction.
Not full seduction.
Still need connection and arousal.
More of pacing her reality and leading it with socratic method.
Good to revise.
How it works is you just dont have say outright that everyone is doing it... Rather its like socratic question
Why or what is the source of the frame, why they are saying what they are saying and how its not a real conformity.
Eg. Sleeping fast is bad why cause influencer say it
Then say someone made it up and copying etc.
Or she could say my mum told me or first time needs to be special
Then come up with say those were different times and today its different
Then what people are doing and what is real in right now better with an example
And now her objection is addressed with a laugh move on with seduction.
Not full seduction.
Still need connection and arousal.
More of pacing her reality and leading it with socratic method.
Good to revise.
Now signs of attraction on date or cue to escalate vibe
Girl being nervous like I really dont want to barf
I am tired sorry for looking like a zombie etc.
Obvious signs why she be caring like this if not interested.
Still need to build connection arousal and compliance.
Girl being nervous like I really dont want to barf
I am tired sorry for looking like a zombie etc.
Obvious signs why she be caring like this if not interested.
Still need to build connection arousal and compliance.
I went on a date yesterday.
I knew from begining it will be a flop and I wont get the lay.
Suspicion?
Well she was coming from office. I figured out she needs to go back home early.
So we had 1.5-2 hours overall.
It was online match.
Now I arrive at venue, I couldnt figure out the girl. She was looking better than her profile (rarely happens)
She invites me. (First mistake, venue was full and she choose really bad seats couldnt sit in side of her)
So we were facing each other.
I sit there she asks whats up dude.
I am in my head i dont remember whats and later, I say something like back from work etc.
She is making various expressions.
I comment about it.
She says she dont want to be an actor etc
Damn man I dont want to write full interacrion.
I guess it was failure to build similarty.
She was someone who likes sports.
I am someone who dont etc.
Then bad venue selection.
She was carraying this big bag.
Couldnt do touch and then we decided to walk instead of sitting and she was rushing.
I had a moment where I asked her to stop and tried to simulate her emotionlly ... She did got lost for a bit and if I had built comfort of touch before I would have pulled for the kiss but couldnt and she snaped out of it saying I want to go back.
She seemed overall like a secure person while with my views and how I am seducing girls I might have given an insecure vibe.
I knew anyways its over where she said we can be good friends. She did not got the sexual vibe from me.
We went back in train.
I knew from begining it will be a flop and I wont get the lay.
Suspicion?
Well she was coming from office. I figured out she needs to go back home early.
So we had 1.5-2 hours overall.
It was online match.
Now I arrive at venue, I couldnt figure out the girl. She was looking better than her profile (rarely happens)
She invites me. (First mistake, venue was full and she choose really bad seats couldnt sit in side of her)
So we were facing each other.
I sit there she asks whats up dude.
I am in my head i dont remember whats and later, I say something like back from work etc.
She is making various expressions.
I comment about it.
She says she dont want to be an actor etc
Damn man I dont want to write full interacrion.
I guess it was failure to build similarty.
She was someone who likes sports.
I am someone who dont etc.
Then bad venue selection.
She was carraying this big bag.
Couldnt do touch and then we decided to walk instead of sitting and she was rushing.
I had a moment where I asked her to stop and tried to simulate her emotionlly ... She did got lost for a bit and if I had built comfort of touch before I would have pulled for the kiss but couldnt and she snaped out of it saying I want to go back.
She seemed overall like a secure person while with my views and how I am seducing girls I might have given an insecure vibe.
I knew anyways its over where she said we can be good friends. She did not got the sexual vibe from me.
We went back in train.
I started said somewhere you could be serial killer.
She was a nice girl played along but I took it far. Idk I was having fun but it did not build anything and a bad topic to avoid.
Later I had brought about drinks.
Venue was loud so she brought up talking loud some theory about being loud etc.
I said to her its ok if you shout but dont. Throw things ... She played along but it was not moving anything ahead so I should have dropped it.
She was a nice girl played along but I took it far. Idk I was having fun but it did not build anything and a bad topic to avoid.
Later I had brought about drinks.
Venue was loud so she brought up talking loud some theory about being loud etc.
I said to her its ok if you shout but dont. Throw things ... She played along but it was not moving anything ahead so I should have dropped it.
Unlike last date.
I went to one more date.
I seeded this date with an indirect pull.
Making girl herself ask me out.
Basically it was are you bored etc. (pacing)
I wish we could do something fun (leading)
She agreed to it.
I had to reschedule it mutliple times.
I seeded the pull the multiple times.
2 different places.
But I guess I lacked on arousal.
I showed her similarty
I tried to arouse her about sex talk did 2 gambits.
Self control
Period paradox.
She listened patiently.
But I was not able to arouse her.
Couldn't touch her.
She was more inclined to work.
I think I dont have enough sexiness. So I need touch to compensate for it.
Even sex talk lacked anything between us.
I did tried to point my hands towards me, so she relates the postive part with me.
Need to use other tech for arousal other than sex talk and touch.
Maybe I should have used more future projection.
But sitting was again placed badly for me.
Nd I need to tighten my game for yellows.
Greens are easy.
Yellow I need to master.
U get a feel for arousal.
Idk its that bodies react.
I went to one more date.
I seeded this date with an indirect pull.
Making girl herself ask me out.
Basically it was are you bored etc. (pacing)
I wish we could do something fun (leading)
She agreed to it.
I had to reschedule it mutliple times.
I seeded the pull the multiple times.
2 different places.
But I guess I lacked on arousal.
I showed her similarty
I tried to arouse her about sex talk did 2 gambits.
Self control
Period paradox.
She listened patiently.
But I was not able to arouse her.
Couldn't touch her.
She was more inclined to work.
I think I dont have enough sexiness. So I need touch to compensate for it.
Even sex talk lacked anything between us.
I did tried to point my hands towards me, so she relates the postive part with me.
Need to use other tech for arousal other than sex talk and touch.
Maybe I should have used more future projection.
But sitting was again placed badly for me.
Nd I need to tighten my game for yellows.
Greens are easy.
Yellow I need to master.
U get a feel for arousal.
Idk its that bodies react.
I have found when I want to just pick girls or have causal sex, I am more risky and experimental in my style and more persistent. Wont think about much but push for sex.
While if I am in finding gf mode neediness seeps in, that experimental thinking is not running what will happen if I do this.
Or there is less life in my seduction.
One frame is I want to this girl and another is lets test the skill or technique.
Has anyadone noticed this too?
Is there a way to overcome it?
Thought of posting this as a thread but I dont think it adds any value and maybe I am coping for bad game anyways if anyone reads and has input I will be happy to hear it
While if I am in finding gf mode neediness seeps in, that experimental thinking is not running what will happen if I do this.
Or there is less life in my seduction.
One frame is I want to this girl and another is lets test the skill or technique.
Has anyadone noticed this too?
Is there a way to overcome it?
Thought of posting this as a thread but I dont think it adds any value and maybe I am coping for bad game anyways if anyone reads and has input I will be happy to hear it
My biggest lesson
When to keep the date going
1) You try to leave but she dont want to
2) there is time at her hands and she is aroused so something will happen
When to leave a high point
-> shitty logistics (eg. She need to go back home, she need work tomorrow etc.
-> no arousal
If all you have done is banter and connection but not built arousal between you and her no point (push pull etc is must)
When to keep the date going
1) You try to leave but she dont want to
2) there is time at her hands and she is aroused so something will happen
When to leave a high point
-> shitty logistics (eg. She need to go back home, she need work tomorrow etc.
-> no arousal
If all you have done is banter and connection but not built arousal between you and her no point (push pull etc is must)
I had this I am prize mentality even before my first lay
That was reeking through my whole my courting process.
I remember clearly. My gf and me were in auto (before hooking up, she had to chase me, to become bf for 3 months)
Then her friend asked me something about my girl getting other man.
I said something to absolutely destroy both of those.
Even I get glimps of it when girl is hooked and I am late courting process but its not heightened like that.
Maybe dunning kruger effect is at play.
I wonder how to get it back.
That was reeking through my whole my courting process.
I remember clearly. My gf and me were in auto (before hooking up, she had to chase me, to become bf for 3 months)
Then her friend asked me something about my girl getting other man.
I said something to absolutely destroy both of those.
Even I get glimps of it when girl is hooked and I am late courting process but its not heightened like that.
Maybe dunning kruger effect is at play.
I wonder how to get it back.
As much as I hate to write this LR.
Failed to lock girl permanently.
I need to write this.
I can't write this in one go so I will write it in parts and then post as a LR for feedback.
Its was mostly unconcious for me.
I was doing things Idk why.
Minimal texting.
Spontenous meet.
(She was new in the city and bored).
I reach venue half an hour later.
I sit in front of her. Loud venue.
Can't hear her voice properly.
She cant hear mine.
She ask me to sit beside her.
She talks a bit
Id remember the convo.
She checks my spotify and tries to match music taste. It matches 97%
I was not aware of the feature.
She tells me about the the feature and says she does it with every friend.
I say ok blah blah...
She points out guys in front of us are high i dont notice that myself.
Then I say to her yeah they indeed seem.
Then she ask about my home town. I make her guess.
She is from same state.
She talks about the similar food.
Still minimal physical contact till now.
Here i create an open loop. Say about something and then say its explicit.
Then she does the same with me.
I tell her lets discuss more about this outside venue when there is less noise.
Then after 2 drinks we decide to headout.
Then we banter on that topic not telling and reach the venue.
Failed to lock girl permanently.
I need to write this.
I can't write this in one go so I will write it in parts and then post as a LR for feedback.
Its was mostly unconcious for me.
I was doing things Idk why.
Minimal texting.
Spontenous meet.
(She was new in the city and bored).
I reach venue half an hour later.
I sit in front of her. Loud venue.
Can't hear her voice properly.
She cant hear mine.
She ask me to sit beside her.
She talks a bit
Id remember the convo.
She checks my spotify and tries to match music taste. It matches 97%
I was not aware of the feature.
She tells me about the the feature and says she does it with every friend.
I say ok blah blah...
She points out guys in front of us are high i dont notice that myself.
Then I say to her yeah they indeed seem.
Then she ask about my home town. I make her guess.
She is from same state.
She talks about the similar food.
Still minimal physical contact till now.
Here i create an open loop. Say about something and then say its explicit.
Then she does the same with me.
I tell her lets discuss more about this outside venue when there is less noise.
Then after 2 drinks we decide to headout.
Then we banter on that topic not telling and reach the venue.
only girls afraid of guys with higher body count are girls who belive they can't hold that guy.
Girls value comes from retaining the guy and guys value from bedding the guy.
Ideally why a girl should be afraid if she is confident in her value.
I will use it as a reframe in case I face objection related to my body count.
Though these are from inexperienced girls mostly.
Girls value comes from retaining the guy and guys value from bedding the guy.
Ideally why a girl should be afraid if she is confident in her value.
I will use it as a reframe in case I face objection related to my body count.
Though these are from inexperienced girls mostly.
I was thinking about tech where I should specialise.
In SAC model.
I mostly use touch for Arousal. It was there is in my every lay. And not in every lost lay. Simply bumping shoulders etc and kissing, hand holding
Compliance - i have not thought yet.
Similarty/comfort - multiple, deep dive & connection, push pull, humor ane playful vibe mostly sometime with a mix of mystery. Making her feel super special is another one.
- tried gambits helped on 2 account. Gambit without physical escalation is wierd for me.
So I structure my routine etc. around these now.
In SAC model.
I mostly use touch for Arousal. It was there is in my every lay. And not in every lost lay. Simply bumping shoulders etc and kissing, hand holding
Compliance - i have not thought yet.
Similarty/comfort - multiple, deep dive & connection, push pull, humor ane playful vibe mostly sometime with a mix of mystery. Making her feel super special is another one.
- tried gambits helped on 2 account. Gambit without physical escalation is wierd for me.
So I structure my routine etc. around these now.