Gameboy's Journal

[Casanova Newhouse]

Hey Casanova! Glad to read that I could inspire you.

And yeah, English is my second language. I was lucky enough to go to school for a year in an English speaking country at age 10, so that may have helped

Looking forward to read about your own daygame adventures!

I thought I saw a post from you in which you detailed your past struggles with limerance, numbered and described. It seems to have vanished. I was struck by our similarities in that regard.

What really surprised me about limerance is how obsessed I get with girls that I've hardly even interacted with. I have one post that's been stuck in moderation for two weeks describing my years' long misery about a girl I'd barely kissed once. I've been with prettier women that I've gotten with in the biblical sense dozens or even hundreds of times that I felt rather neutral about, even though they were objectively more interesting and sexy. Weird.

Someone posted on my journal that it might have to do with attachment style. I don't doubt it. My relationship with my mother was complicated, to say the least. As therapists love to say, "If it's not one thing, it's your mother."

 

[gameboy]

I thought I saw a post from you in which you detailed your past struggles with limerance, numbered and described. It seems to have vanished. I was struck by our similarities in that regard.

Oh sorry, I edited that part out for brevity. I didn't think you'd find it valuable.

I think it was three girls with which I had strong feelings of limerance. The thing they all had in common was that they were girls who I'd been together with for a month or less, and they broke it off. Some of them I didn't even have sex with, and one of them I only ever kissed once. And I'd still be obsessed with them for a long time.

The last one of them fortunately I was able to convince to have an open relationship with after she broke up with me. She went to her country to attend her sisters wedding, and she told me she would go the wedding with her ex. However she came back after 2 or 3 weeks. I was devastated during the time she was away. When she returned, we basically went to being FBs but maybe a bit more familiar, so we also did stuff like grabbing a coffee together or attending a concert. It lasted a few more months but I also met new girls during that time.

So I feel I made some progress in that regard. Much better to be FWBs with the object of your desire than to obsess about someone you never even slept with!

Anyway, that was over a decade ago, and I've had 2 multi-year relationships in the mean time.

What really surprised me about limerance is how obsessed I get with girls that I've hardly even interacted with. I have one post that's been stuck in moderation for two weeks describing my years' long misery about a girl I'd barely kissed once. I've been with prettier women that I've gotten with in the biblical sense dozens or even hundreds of times that I felt rather neutral about, even though they were objectively more interesting and sexy. Weird.

They say, you want most what you can't have...

Someone posted on my journal that it might have to do with attachment style. I don't doubt it. My relationship with my mother was complicated, to say the least. As therapists love to say, "If it's not one thing, it's your mother."

Makes complete sense!

I also tend to think intensely about ex-girlfriends that I've been together with for years, and broken up with myself. But maybe this is normal. It goes away after enough time has passed or when I meet a new girl that I like.

I think it's mainly due to being in scarcity. Which was a huge motivator for me to finally learn day game.

 

[gameboy]

TLDR: 2 failed approaches today.

HOT INDIAN TAKING SELFIES

#1 was a very attractive Indian girl. I came across her riding my bike on the beach. She was taking pictures of herself with her phone on a tripod/stand. She had a slender body, wore a grey half-long skirt, and had black hair all the way down to the waist. She also had a beautiful face.

I WAIT TOO LONG; AMOG SWOOPS IN

I stopped my bike nearby and watched her for a minute or two while she was taking her selfies. I battled with AA and deliberated whether and how to approach. Well I waited too long, because in swooped another guy and talked to her. At first I thought he was her friend, but when it became apparent that he was cold approaching her, I was bummed out because I had waited to long. But I also watched them with interest.

WATCHING

I couldn't hear what they were saying, so I only observed. He was waving his arms around a lot while talking. It came across as dominant, but almost too much, not quite nervous but a bit exaggerated. Also, he either went for her phone number very quickly, or he was showing her something on his phone. They were looking at stuff on both of their phones during most of the conversation. He seemed to be an intense talker, talking at the girl flaling his arms around. He didn't let her do much talking. The girl was standing there in short of a shy way, with her arms down in front of her belly. I think she smiled sometimes, but in a shy way and not a lot as far as I could see from the distance.

The guy didn't use any touch, it looked like. Nor did he move the girl around. I'm not sure if he got any compliance, maybe he got her to show him stuff on her phone. Or maybe he just gave her some technical advice. No idea.

All in all I didn't get the impresison that he knew what he was doing. If I had had the balls to approach, I'd try to let the girl do as much of the talking as possible, and also shaken her hand and touched her more. But at least he made the approach, so I gotta give him credit for that.

They talked for maybe 10 minutes. I was distracted for a moment by something happening near me, so unfortunately I didn't see how he said goodbye to the girl, and whether he hugged her or not. When I looked back at the two, he was already walking away.

NEXT PLEASE!

Just after the guy left, another dude walked by the girl and seemed to ask her something. He looked a bit short, and balding. This one didn't stay long, but the girl sure seemed to be killing it today.

I didn't want to be #3 on her menu today (or who knows how many guys already approached her before, lol). So I moved on.

FAILED APPROACH #2

Later I was riding my bike on a street near the beach, I came across another girl that looked good enough for me to consider her approachable. Not a stunner like the Indian girl, but attractive enough with slim legs, tight black pants, and white sneakers. Her hair was long and tied to a pigtail.

I stopped my bike but was already like 30m or so away. She also stopped and sat on a broad wall that separated the sidewalk from the street. I can't tell if it was an IOI from her that she stopped after seeing me, just like I did. She sat near the far end of the wall (it's very broad, maybe 4m) and seemed to be vaping. I looked out at the sea for a while, but didn't have the balls to approach her. It would have been an awkward approach (walking over to her, then talking to her from behind), but probably still much better than doing nothing.

CONCLUSION

Where has my momentum gone this month? I really don't know what's going on. I've done much better before. This March I think I only managed 3 approaches in total.

Gotta find a way to push myself to do better. It appears that there are more pretty girls in town now that the Easter holidays are coming up.

 

[Casanova Newhouse]

TLDR: 2 failed approaches today.

HOT INDIAN TAKING SELFIES

#1 was a very attractive Indian girl. I came across her riding my bike on the beach. She was taking pictures of herself with her phone on a tripod/stand. She had a slender body, wore a grey half-long skirt, and had black hair all the way down to the waist. She also had a beautiful face.

I WAIT TOO LONG; AMOG SWOOPS IN

I stopped my bike nearby and watched her for a minute or two while she was taking her selfies. I battled with AA and deliberated whether and how to approach. Well I waited too long, because in swooped another guy and talked to her. At first I thought he was her friend, but when it became apparent that he was cold approaching her, I was bummed out because I had waited to long. But I also watched them with interest.

WATCHING

I couldn't hear what they were saying, so I only observed. He was waving his arms around a lot while talking. It came across as dominant, but almost too much, not quite nervous but a bit exaggerated. Also, he either went for her phone number very quickly, or he was showing her something on his phone. They were looking at stuff on both of their phones during most of the conversation. He seemed to be an intense talker, talking at the girl flaling his arms around. He didn't let her do much talking. The girl was standing there in short of a shy way, with her arms down in front of her belly. I think she smiled sometimes, but in a shy way and not a lot as far as I could see from the distance.

The guy didn't use any touch, it looked like. Nor did he move the girl around. I'm not sure if he got any compliance, maybe he got her to show him stuff on her phone. Or maybe he just gave her some technical advice. No idea.

All in all I didn't get the impresison that he knew what he was doing. If I had had the balls to approach, I'd try to let the girl do as much of the talking as possible, and also shaken her hand and touched her more. But at least he made the approach, so I gotta give him credit for that.

They talked for maybe 10 minutes. I was distracted for a moment by something happening near me, so unfortunately I didn't see how he said goodbye to the girl, and whether he hugged her or not. When I looked back at the two, he was already walking away.

NEXT PLEASE!

Just after the guy left, another dude walked by the girl and seemed to ask her something. He looked a bit short, and balding. This one didn't stay long, but the girl sure seemed to be killing it today.

I didn't want to be #3 on her menu today (or who knows how many guys already approached her before, lol). So I moved on.

FAILED APPROACH #2

Later I was riding my bike on a street near the beach, I came across another girl that looked good enough for me to consider her approachable. Not a stunner like the Indian girl, but attractive enough with slim legs, tight black pants, and white sneakers. Her hair was long and tied to a pigtail.

I stopped my bike but was already like 30m or so away. She also stopped and sat on a broad wall that separated the sidewalk from the street. I can't tell if it was an IOI from her that she stopped after seeing me, just like I did. She sat near the far end of the wall (it's very broad, maybe 4m) and seemed to be vaping. I looked out at the sea for a while, but didn't have the balls to approach her. It would have been an awkward approach (walking over to her, then talking to her from behind), but probably still much better than doing nothing.

CONCLUSION

Where has my momentum gone this month? I really don't know what's going on. I've done much better before. This March I think I only managed 3 approaches in total.

Gotta find a way to push myself to do better. It appears that there are more pretty girls in town now that the Easter holidays are coming up.

I wouldn't be too hard on yourself. You are getting yourself out there, and learning even if you lose your nerve at the last moment. We've all been there. As you know, there are incredible resources on this site that can help with every aspect of your game.

It seems like you are in an area with an abundance of women. I'm envious.

It's great how you observed the wanna-be PUA. You learn more from your failures than your successes. And you seem to be learning from others' failures as well. Keep at it!

 

[Higher]

the girl sure seemed to be killing it today

Must have been a real stunner.

I wonder how many genuinely attractive dudes approach such girls tho -- I'd reckon not many. That's why we're privileged here!

It would have been an awkward approach (walking over to her, then talking to her from behind), but probably still much better than doing nothing.

What if you asked her to take a pic of you with your phone?

Easy for you to ask, easy for her to comply to, and easy to start a convo from then on -- you from here? Me, I live here, but I travel a lot. Today I'm biking around and taking pics, dreaming of my next destination. If she seems receptive: hey btw, gotta tell you, you're cute. What's your name? I'm Gameboy <shake hands and make good eye contact>. She's comfortable: you sit with her and deep dive.

 

[gameboy]

Must have been a real stunner.

I wonder how many genuinely attractive dudes approach such girls tho -- I'd reckon not many. That's why we're privileged here!

Yeah she was hot to be honest. Maybe an influencer since she had a professional camera stand with her, and she set it up at various locations instead of just asking people to take pictures of her.

Wish I had been faster and not thought about it for so long.

What if you asked her to take a pic of you with your phone?

Easy for you to ask, easy for her to comply to, and easy to start a convo from then on -- you from here? Me, I live here, but I travel a lot. Today I'm biking around and taking pics, dreaming of my next destination. If she seems receptive: hey btw, gotta tell you, you're cute. What's your name? I'm Gameboy <shake hands and make good eye contact>. She's comfortable: you sit with her and deep dive.

Actually, that's what I was planning to open the first girl with, until that other guy swept in.

As for the second girl, in hindsight I was just making excuses in my head not to approach. I really need to stop doing that.

Thanks for the advice @Higher ! Yeah I think that's really a good opener. Maybe I'll use it on the next girl I see!

 

[ZenRising]

Hi there @gameboy

Just been reading through your journal... and loving it. Your honesty in sharing all the non-approaches is really helpful - god knows, I've had a lot of them(!) and it's encouaraging to be reminded that others have the same stuggles. I'm gonna start a journal and follow the same approach - keep myself accountable for the successes and the non-successes...

By the way, where do you live? I'm Irish, but live in Barcelona... from reading your journal, sounds like you might be in Spain, in a coastal city too? Feel free to DM me..

Thanks!
Lucas

 

[gameboy]

Just been reading through your journal... and loving it. Your honesty in sharing all the non-approaches is really helpful - god knows, I've had a lot of them(!) and it's encouaraging to be reminded that others have the same stuggles. I'm gonna start a journal and follow the same approach - keep myself accountable for the successes and the non-successes...

Thank you so much, it really means a lot!

I was afraid I am boring people to death with all those non-approaches. At least I also have a few successes in between. I thought I'd share the less successful days also, if only to inspire myself when I re-read this to see how far I've come!

By the way, where do you live? I'm Irish, but live in Barcelona... from reading your journal, sounds like you might be in Spain, in a coastal city too? Feel free to DM me..

I'd rather keep that private... there's a lot of gentrification going on here as it is, no need for further publicity.

I love Barcelona! Are there still so many beautiful girls running around? I bet there are

 

[gameboy]

As for today's journal entry... I almost wouldn't have written this but since I just got encouraged to share the non-approaches too, here we go:
TLDR: 0 approaches

The weather was crappy today. Almost no hot girls out and about, and the few I saw were in large groups.

The only girl that caught my eye today was a tattooed girl in the supermarket. I thought about complimenting her on a bison skull tattoo on her shoulder that I liked, but she disappeared up a stairway and I didn't go after her.

It was early in the day still so I was hoping to find more girls outside... but no luck today

 

[gameboy]

One coffee shop approach today. Two girls sitting next to my table, and overhearing them talking it seemed they were compatriots of mine.

The weather was super rainy today, so I opened with "Did you guys bring the weather from X?" They lauged and said, no, we've actually been here for a while but are leaving today.

They were super friendly. I asked them about their travels, and which city they liked best and why. Tried to deep dive a bit and not talk much about myself, even though I had to fight the urge.

The interaction was short, as they had already ordered the bill when I talked to them. Nice friendly social interaction. One of them was actually kind of cute, but there was no time for anything more than a bit of small talk unfortunately.

It was a good warmup, but because of the crappy weather I didn't see any other interesting girls all day. I came across one sitting on a bench with her phone, she looked okay but I wasn't super attracted. Also I didn't feel like she would be open to being approached for some reason. I thought about pinging her somehow, but I couldn't come up with anything. Her bench was kind of in a niche surrounded by walls from 3 sides, which made it feel awkward to approach.

 

[gameboy]

Didn't see any hot girls today. I really hope the tourist season starts soon, this is getting boring...

On the beach I saw 1 girl sitting on a wall. She looked Indian and had an OK body, however her clothing style was a bit boring and she was wearing huge sunglasses. I was below the wall and she was kind of looking down at me, I'd have had to talk up to her to approach her and I didn't like that vibe. Also I didn't find her very attractive.

The weather was super windy today and everyone was wearing thick coats, so that may be a factor why I'm not seeing attractive girls recently... Most of the year it's more or less warm here, and girls are dressed way sexier

 

[gameboy]

One failed approach today.

I saw this slim young girl with super beautiful, waist-long, straight black hair. I rode past her on the bike, then turned around and decided to ask her if she's Colombian, then (regardless of the answer) tell her that I'm asking because her hair makes her look Colombian, and tell her it's beautiful.

Well just when I was next to her and opening my mouth to speak, she starts to talk into her phone. I didn't want to talk over her, so I just rolled past her. Also didn't want to do a u-turn and go back since she was talking on the phone, and I'd already gone past her once and didn't want to creep her out... bummer!!

 

[Casanova Newhouse]

Haha I feel this. I had an approach awhile ago where the girl gave me a clear sign of interest, but when I went to say hello, she got on her phone and just held her finger up and wouldn't even look at me. Awkward.

 

[gameboy]

TLDR: 1 approach today

I wasn't in the best mood today. Went to the beach in the evening. Again, few hot girls around. It was sunny, but cold. But then I saw a woman that was dressed rather sexy considering the weather: Petite, tight jeans shorts, fishnet stockings, semi-high boots, and a little tank top. Long brunette hair. She was walking on the beach and then sat down near the water. I saw her from behind but couldn't see her face.

I walked up to the seaside for a closer look. First I looked out at the waves for a minute, then turned around. She was looking at me, but her face was kind of a disappointment. Bit of a chubby one, and way too much make-up for my liking. Because of all the black paint around her eyes, I had a hard time telling if her looking at me was an IOI, or not.

Unfortunately, this was a typical case of "she's a 9 from behind, but her face is more of a 5". I walked along the shore for a few steps, then looked at her again. She was still looking at me, but so were other people. I still wasn't sure this was an IOI. Could also have been for whatever other reason.

I sat down for a while, keeping the girl in my field of view. From the side, she actually looked a bit chubby too. Not fat, but also not as hot as from behind.

When the sun went down, I walked around a bit and stood somewhere behind this girl. I figured if she left now, she'd probably walk close by me so I could get a better look at her face.

Sure enough, as soon as the sun wasn't shining any more where she was sitting, the girl stood up and walked towards me. She stumbled a bit with her high-heel boots on the sand, which looked kind of clumsy-sexy. She actually changed her direction to walk by right in front of me, making it really easy for me to open her. I said "Hard to walk on the sand with those boots, isn't it?"

She replied with a thick accent that I couldn't place.

"No, if we practice a lot, it's actually easy."

I told her she seemed to be stumbling a bit, and she was like "haha, nah it's okay." then waved and said "Have a good day sir!"

Far better reception than I expected. I said "You too darling" as she was quite nice. (And just like that, my mood had improved by 100%.)

So what did I learn from this one?

*** Always assume attraction! ***

In hindsight, this girl was dressed a bit sluttily to get some male attention, it feels like. Probably had to be somewhere though because she waved me goodbye even though we could have chatted a bit more. Or maybe I should have insisted more even though she bid me a good day?

This one felt like the kind of girl that I could probably have taken home pretty easily, provided she was free time-wise. She wasn't as hot as I first thought, but if she hadn't run off I'd probably have gone for it.

 

[StrayDog]

@gameboy just watched this and thought it could probably help you with some of the sticking points you have been encountering

 

[gameboy]

TLDR: One approach today: Attractive Colombian traveller

I'd seen her before while biking along the beach. A girl with long, curly dark hair, taking pictures with her phone on a selfie stick. Unfortunately, she was at a very sandy part of the beach where I couldn't get with my bike. So I kept riding, planning to come back later.

UNEVENTFUL DAY SO FAR

Today I was kind of tired because daylight savings time started here yesterday. I hadn't seen any interesting girls all day, there were a few solo ones but the most attractive one of them was just plain looking. The others had rather unattractive faces. So I hadn't done any approaches all day except saying "hi" to one or two 2-sets.

I didn't come across any intersting girls elsewhere, either, so after 5 or 10 minutes, I went back the way I came. Photo Girl had gotten up and was walking in my general direction. I could see she was wearing tight black leggings, sneakers, and a black-blue top. She was actually quite attractive, except her ass was just a little bit too big for my taste. I like them tiny. That said, she was easily an 8. Would have been a 9 with a better ass. (I know many guys prefer big asses, so this is obviously super subjective.) I would have thought she's a bit out of my league actually, which made me really want to approach her to practice.

THE OPENER

She seemed to be looking at me and generally open for an approach. Then she took another picture with her phone. I got off of my bike to make it easier for me to approach her slowly. Pushing the bike, I got close, then just said to her: "Selfie time?"

I'm quite proud of this opener! Came up with it on the spot. It's very low effort, and also ever so slightly negging her as being one of those girls that take selfies all the time. Without being openly offensive.

BOOM: QUALIFICATION

And lo and behold, my girl actually qualified herself: "No, I'm taking a picture of the shadow of this palm tree." I was like "of the shadow?" and she said "yes, I like it!"

SMALLTALK

Changing the subject, I asked where she was from. Turns out she was visiting from Colombia. I told her where I'm from, and she replied "so how come you're wearing a jacket?" She said she'd seen people from my country wearing shorts. I said I live here, so I'm used to a better climate

She was reallly friendly, but she was standing on a little hill, a bit higher up than me. So I kind of had to talk up to her. Also, I was holding the bike in my hands, and while we were talking I couldn't really figure out what to do with it. I should have just parked it, walked over to her, and shaken her hand doing Chase's patent handclasp. But unfortunately I couldn't come up with that simple idea in the moment.

So we talked a bit about rather boring subjects, like the weather, and how much it rained the last couple days and she didn't have suitable clothing. She told me how her shoes (trainers) got all soaked.

I did find out that she was staying here for a week, and had arrived two days ago. Didn't manage to introduce any interesting subjects though, or get closer to her and touch her or at least shake her hand. So after a couple of minutes of mainly smalltalk, she said "Well nice meeting you!" and waved me goodbye.

TAKEAWAYS

- Really proud of the opener and how smoothly I delivered it
- I was surprised how well she hooked (and looked)
- She was a fast talker and I found it hard to lead the conversation, except when I asked her questions about where she was from and how long she was staying
- I didn't manage to transition to SOT in time so she bid me goodbye
- Kicked myself a bit afterwards. A solo travelling Colombian! Damn, it doesn't get much better than that. Had I been a bit more on top of my game... oh well, gotta keep practicing and improving!
- Still happy I did the approach in the first place though.

The only thing I did really well was the opener. I think I was a bit surprised and overwhelmed by the fact that she was talking to me so easily, haha. I'm defo a bit rusty after not having approached for so long!

Her standing on that hill talking down to me didn't help. Should have absolutely gotten closer to her, and let go of the bike. Standing there with the bike in my hands probably made it feel like I'd have preferred to keep on riding.

Another idea: I could have asked her if she'd taken any cool photos today, and maybe asked her to show me some. I think this might be a routine worth testing with girls taking pictures, which I seem to be encountering all the time.

 

[gameboy]

@gameboy just watched this and thought it could probably help you with some of the sticking points you have been encountering

Thanks @StrayDog!
I definitely need to go for the close more often. Or for an insta-date alternatively. That, and approaching more girls in general, are my main sticking points at the moment.

 

[ZenRising]

Really proud of the opener and how smoothly I delivered it
- I was surprised how well she hooked (and looked)
- She was a fast talker and I found it hard to lead the conversation, except when I asked her questions about where she was from and how long she was staying
- I didn't manage to transition to SOT in time so she bid me goodbye
- Kicked myself a bit afterwards. A solo travelling Colombian! Damn, it doesn't get much better than that. Had I been a bit more on top of my game... oh well, gotta keep practicing and improving!
- Still happy I did the approach in the first place though.

WAY TO GO! ... Happy for you that you had this success... may there be many more to follow!

 

[gameboy]

Bummed out today. Saw at least 3 hot babes I could have approached, but failed.

I kept coming up with excuses like "Nah I'm hungry, gonna grab something to eat first", "Nah it's a 2-set, no chance this will work", and the last girl "No way, she's too young and pretty and probably just wants to read her book. Also no way she sat down right behind you on purpose."

God damn! If I go on like this I'll be going home alone until I die. Gotta get my act together. Never mind if I'm hungry, tired, or whatever. It's just a friendly chat with a cute girl after all. A girl! What is there to be afraid of?

But for some stupid reason I couldn't be bothered today all day.

 

[ZenRising]

Hey there @gamebody ,

no way she sat down right behind you on purpose."

If it's any consolation, this exact thing happened to me today as well. Was out trying to make some approaches, and a gorgeous girl comes and sits right beside me.. and my inner self-sabotaging monologue talked me out of talking to her! aaaagh! so annoyed with myself.... thankfully I did manage to get another approach in after that, but I wish I could master that internal trigger thing where I stop thinking and act!