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How many 40 year old daygamers on here?

bgwh

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
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bgwh

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Didn’t he also admit that he had to approach like 40 girls to get a lay? Never understood why people wanted to learn from him.
To be fair, I don't know if that's a high number since I have nothing to compare against. What's a normal approach-to-lay ratio from daygame for 40 year old men approaching very young women?
 

isildur1

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Ironically the reason why I haven't gotten serious about game until now (despite knowing about this stuff for 25 years) is precisely because I wasted 25 years trying to find wingmen. I finally accepted I have to do it all on my own.
that's a shame- i found excellent wingmen on the dating forums and they raised my game to another level and ultimately really improved my dating life .

it was hit and miss at first - the first 6 months i didnt find any decent wingmen but it gradually picked up - im now best friends with one i met on the forums 3 years ago
 

isildur1

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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To be fair, I don't know if that's a high number since I have nothing to compare against. What's a normal approach-to-lay ratio from daygame for 40 year old men approaching very young women?
depends on the SMV of the 40 year old? some 40 year olds are fat and ugly - others are chiselled and have a good job / are intelligent / charismatic i think it varies massively- depending on how you can maintain your smv and how interesting you are etc.
 
you miss 100% of the shots you don't take

bgwh

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depends on the SMV of the 40 year old? some 40 year olds are fat and ugly - others are chiselled and have a good job / are intelligent / charismatic i think it varies massively- depending on how you can maintain your smv and how interesting you are etc.
Of course it depends. But how do we know 1 - in - 40 is high or low? Based on what? What are we comparing to?
 

AspiringStoic

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If it really is "cold approach" not based on IOIs or being hyper selective about your targets, but literally going in and opening any girl you like the look of and in the daytime, I would take 1 in 40 happily for the rest of my life. 😀
 

bgwh

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Guys, I just had an amazing first day trying out cold approaching. Pretty stoked, learned lots of lessons, will share in a few. Pretty stoked.
 

bgwh

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Glad you stoked but pipi in vagina is the main goal
Ironically, I was just going to open a thread about just this (or something similar). The pickup industry bravado of shooting down microsteps insead of promoting it. One reason that I failed at this stuff for 20 years was precisely because I had a goal of getting laid. For me it's the opposite. Had I made it my goal to meet people and have great interactions FIRST, I'd have gotten laid way more. I had years of bad experiences due to approaching "in order to get my pipi into the girl", and they could smell it on hello.

That's a fine goal to have AFTER you're experienced, not as you're starting out. The "guy who obviously gets laid" approaching with a goal to bang is very different than an akward guy approaching with the same goal. It's the worst possible combination imaginable. An akward guy approaching with a goal to put his pipi in her is a formula for rude shutdowns and wondering why every girl is rude to you. You need to get good at just having conversations first, you can sexualize later.
 
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bgwh

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Glad you stoked but pipi in vagina is the main goal
Also, another reason I failed to seriously get started with this stuff was precisely this attitude of making too big of leaps. Like "it doesn't count" and shouldn't be rewarded with positive reinforcement unless it's a big step. That stuck me for 20 years. It's something I hate about the pickup industry in general. For some of us small steps and positive reinforcement that pile into momentum is the best approach. Yet i see people shooting down small steps. Had I started with MICRO-steps 20 years ago, instead of wasting 20 fucking years beating myself for not being able to make big steps, I would have gotten it over a 100 times by now.
 
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gameboy

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Also, another reason I failed to seriously get started with this stuff was precisely this attitude of making too big of leaps. Like "it doesn't count" and shouldn't be rewarded with positive reinforcement unless it's a big step. That stuck me for 20 years. It's something I hate about the pickup industry in general. For some of us small steps and positive reinforcement that pile into momentum is the best approach. Yet i see people shooting down small steps. Had I started with MICRO-steps 20 years ago, instead of wasting 20 fucking years beating myself for not being able to make big steps, I would have done it a 100 times by now.
Yep. My biggest breakthrough was when I discovered the newbie assignment, and just started saying "hi" to random cute girls. It's a baby step, but it got me from being unable to approach almost always to approaching regularly.
 

bgwh

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Yep. My biggest breakthrough was when I discovered the newbie assignment, and just started saying "hi" to random cute girls. It's a baby step, but it got me from being unable to approach almost always to approaching regularly.
Huh, I was just about to post in your journal, half way done typing it. I was writing a thank you post, and how inspired me by sticking with the hellos, despite the "smartasses" trying to amog you by making it sound like it's not cool enough. You stuck with it and it paid off. That was inspiring.
 

isildur1

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Also, another reason I failed to seriously get started with this stuff was precisely this attitude of making too big of leaps. Like "it doesn't count" and shouldn't be rewarded with positive reinforcement unless it's a big step. That stuck me for 20 years. It's something I hate about the pickup industry in general. For some of us small steps and positive reinforcement that pile into momentum is the best approach. Yet i see people shooting down small steps. Had I started with MICRO-steps 20 years ago, instead of wasting 20 fucking years beating myself for not being able to make big steps, I would have gotten it over a 100 times by now.
baby steps matter- i remember my first date from day game i was ecstatic - it wasn't much- just grabbing a kombucha with a Lithuanian girl but that moment meant a lot to me - 4 years later i met my girlfriend from daygame . Time is of the essence- if you want to get good at any skill it takes time and there's no real short cuts.

Online dating has to some degree fucked with a lot of men's brains - its made some things too easy- sometimes the hard route is the one thats most beneficial. I met a lot of great women from daygame and i never regret doing it but i met a lot of people who gave up easily after a few weeks or never really got going because it was too mentally exhausting for them

i wrote this blog post to sum up my thoughts

but life is tough - if you want the best out of your relationships you need to be proactive about your problems because it doesn't get easier- after university finished the opportunities really stagnated to meet new people- day game opened a lot of paths that would otherwise not have existed
 

Skills

Tribal Elder
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Ironically, I was just going to open a thread about just this (or something similar). The pickup industry bravado of shooting down microsteps insead of promoting it. One reason that I failed at this stuff for 20 years was precisely because I had a goal of getting laid. For me it's the opposite. Had I made it my goal to meet people and have great interactions FIRST, I'd have gotten laid way more. I had years of bad experiences due to approaching "in order to get my pipi into the girl", and they could smell it on hello.

That's a fine goal to have AFTER you're experienced, not as you're starting out. The "guy who obviously gets laid" approaching with a goal to bang is very different than an akward guy approaching with the same goal. It's the worst possible combination imaginable. An akward guy approaching with a goal to put his pipi in her is a formula for rude shutdowns and wondering why every girl is rude to you. You need to get good at just having conversations first, you can sexualize later.
I agree with everything you say, my point is not to forget that ultimate goal is to get laid, to keep that in mind... I advocate micro steps... Aa drills is micro steps...i complimented first then told you to keep in mind the goal .. guys get comfortable with good reactions and leave instead of pushing farther to lay... Nobody shuts micro steps in pua industry, never seen this
..
 

isildur1

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Didn’t he also admit that he had to approach like 40 girls to get a lay? Never understood why people wanted to learn from him.
daygame can vary from country to country- the stats are long and brutal

In London for example it was roughly 1 in 80 for me personally to get a lay- of course from those 80 there would be dates, Pulls to the house but LMRs , make outs etc.

In China it was closer to 1 in 25 obviously dealing with a lot less competition as the men are of value

of course this stat depends on your personal SMV + the competition in your area.
 

isildur1

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Of course it depends. But how do we know 1 - in - 40 is high or low? Based on what? What are we comparing to?
well when the major of dating coaches obviously lie - its hard to tell. What you're seeing with lay reports is just the tip of the success - what you dont see is the long grind it takes to get there and there is always a grind - there's no masking it .
 

bgwh

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
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I agree with everything you say, my point is not to forget that ultimate goal is to get laid, to keep that in mind... I advocate micro steps... Aa drills is micro steps...i complimented first then told you to keep in mind the goal .. guys get comfortable with good reactions and leave instead of pushing farther to lay... Nobody shuts micro steps in pua industry, never seen this
..
My goal isn't to get laid from daygame though. At least not directly. I'm using daygame to build my network, social skills and confidence, and to funnel hot girls into my network and events and personal brand building (social proof).

I do social circle game, which I think makes a lot more sense at my age. Daygame is just a way of adding girls into the circle.

Don't worry though, if a girl starts flirting on the street and looks horny, I would want to instadate and pull right there and then. And if I notice that I'm consistently failing to escalate and pull the "yes girls", I wil try to correct so as to not dissapoint future horny "yes girls".

I realize it can be easy to get so carried away that you don't even notice the yes girls who want you to escalate right then and there. I think I'll be fine tho and will self correct if it starts happening.
 
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