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Hue

Tribal Elder
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Winks got sick, our dates moved to next week );

I'm going to Blueberry's house in a bit. I found her on facebook, and while she's not as cute as I remember, she's definitely fuckable.
Still, that little bit of disappointment that my beer goggles remember her hotter lowers my sex drive to go that distance for the lay. But hey, free dinner, and hopefully good sex? I'll take it.

FR: Classroom game

Following some of the stuff The Tool wrote in an older post, I sit in the front when possible of all my classes, usually 3 seats in. We had to collaborate in my earliest class today, and I happened to with a girl from one of my classes last semester, and she remembered me while I hardly remembered her (overall good sign). I made sure to linger the hand shake, and we got eachothers names.

My next class I actually got to flirt with this Latina chick. Huge lecture = good for conversation. Gonna call her spandex because I checked her out from the corner of my eye before engaging, she was in full workout gear. There's this student interaction thing where we get quizzed on our phones in class, I used that as a contextual opener.

Me: You any good at this?
Her: Oh, I don't know I usually guess.
Me: You're probably better than me. We're gonna be [program] buddies, what's your name? :)
Her: Haha, okay! Spandex. :)
Me: Hueman *shakes hand*

Me: What are you in here for? *slight smile*
Her: Like, what's my major? Nutrition.
Me: Nutrition eh? What do you want with that?
Her: Oooh I don't know, I had to pick a major so, (may or may not deep dive later) I chose that. Miiight go to grad school or get a Ph.Deeee
Me: Ah, the casual Ph.D, nice choice. :)
Her: *laughs* yeah, right?
Me: Something to do while you work out...

After this the questions went up, I helped us get the first one right, the second one we chose different answers and I said,

Me: We could have been friends, Spandex.
Her: *starts laughing*

we both got it wrong

Her: *looks at me, held tilted down, eyes up smiling*
Me: Oookay, I guess I can't hate you :)
Her: *starts laughing*

Then everyone around us was collaborating, eventually class ends. I made sure to have some solid incidental touch, as well as touch legs when we were talking. A couple more things were said here and there, but most weren't important.

Faces pretty close
Me: Okay Spandex,
Her: *laughs and gives me the cutest smile*
Me: you can't be such a slacker if we're gonna be [program] buddies :)
Her: Okay :)
Me: *touches arm* It was nice meeting you *turns and leaves*
Her: You too!

Now I think I should just let the class continue and get a number grab next week after class, or even better, do an insta date after class.
 

Hue

Tribal Elder
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Joined
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Messages
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FU: Christian doesn't do anything on first date

I am very perplexed with this one.

Blueberry gave me every reason that she wanted to hook up, but would not allow herself to be penetrated.


Leading up to the date, she was frequently double and triple texting me, as well as snap chatting me continuously without me replying. I was actually getting annoyed, and thinking I either made that great of a first impression or she's just mad inexperienced.

I drove for an hour, got to her university, and called her. On the way there I had to focus my mind on the objective, because traffic and a few other things were making my mood pretty wack. Before I called her to tell her I was here, I calmed myself. She had texted me 3 times and called once while I had my phone down for the drive.

She gets over to my car, and I get a good look at her. Great fucking body, very fit. Okay face, definitely not the hottest chick I've tried for, to be honest.
I hug her once she gets in the car, we chit chat, I park, and get to her place. None of her roommates are there, perfect! We sit on the couch and I immediately put my arm around her waste and get a hand on her leg. She doesn't seem to mind, solid. We're talking about the night we met, how we had great conversation, remembering a few things I had forgotten when we were drunk. I start asking her about what life is like for her in college here, blah blah blah.

I teased her and said, "So you cleared out all your roommates just for me coming through?" and we joke a bit, I say, "I love when my roommates leave for the privacy". She's like oh why? I turn on a more hushed voice and eye fuck her, and say, "it's the best environment foor getting... intimate." At this point our faces are very close. Then she backs her head up, and gives me a sincerely confused look.
Her: "I don't ever get intimate with guys on the first few dates".
Me: Is that so?
Her: Yeah
Me: What's your philosophy on that?
Her: Well, I'm a Christian. I have morals.
Me: Me too (the morals part), haha :) . Intimacy is a moral issue?
*roommate walks in* *sexual tension sliced in half*

I introduce myself, then try to pick up where we left off, but the focus has switched to a basketball game that was on.
So I miss my chance to get that bullshit out of the way quickly, fuck.

She lives in apartment / dorm complex at a private, christian school. She didn't have an oven so we go to this other building to cook dinner. While were in here, we're both helping out. She's getting all serious about cleanliness of the pan I was requested to bring and is being a germiphobe.

Her: I'm not a germiphobe, more just a perfectionist.
Me: A perfectionist huh? I'm more of a 99.99 percentist, nobody's perfect.
Her: Hahaha!! Oh....

We didn't have a strainer for the pasta, but did have one of those big spoons with holes in it, when figuring out that game plan I said,

Me: Yeah, that move could take a minute...
Her: You don't say, captain?
Me: Captain?
Her: Obviously, captain obvious!
Me: Ah right
Her: And I'm Lt. Sarcasm. I'm super sarcastic.
Me: So the Lt. is second in charge to the Cpt.? That does sound about right. (I was gonna use this to gear in a kiss, and take control of the situation. Play with the scenario and be dominant. Before I could it got switched over. When I started to "get into position" so to speak, she'd always move around the kitchen, and then changed the subject even after I reverted it. It felt like she was dodging any effort of sexual tension / framing)

We get back, chow down, sitting closely. I used that thing Franco (I think?) wrote about where you put your glass down, then her's down, and seize a kiss. I followed it, it went rather smoothly, then I go into the kiss and

Her: Woooah!! Hueman!
Me: Yes? *lean in more*
Her: I told you I don't just make out with a guy on the first date!
Me: I'm not sticking my dick in your pussy quite yet, I don't think
Her: You're ridiculous!
Me: Yea, I've heard that before :) being normal is boring.
Her: Oh yea I agree with that, I'm really weird.
Me: You're weird? How so?
Her: I'm goofy and make funny jokes all the time and
Me: and you're a freak?
Her: Just goofy you know?

I pull back a bit, and try to escalate physically with her body more so. During our conversation SHE brought up: how dolphins are the only animals who have sex for pleasure besides humans, talked about her incredibly toned ass and asked me to touch it (it was), talked about masturbating before bed, sex dreams (like sleep dreams), and wanted me, being a psych major, to tell her about the interworkings of sex.

what.the.fuck.

Is that not, like the most obvious list of sexual windows other than saying "I love sex" or "I wish someone would fuck my brains out until I'm legally retarded?"

I used the toned ass thing, since she was now standing up, to show me the rest of her body, and "spin around", like she was my little stripper. But it wasn't like that for her. It's as if she was just loving my attention, and nothing more towards her body, which, was a great sight.
I used the psych major thing to say she can feel herself getting hornier (I was moving my hand on her leg)
I used the masturbating before bed / sex dreams to say something like "masturbating before bed won't make you have sex dreams, but getting your brains fucked out would. The slow build up of foreplay, to penetration, to mind blowing sex usually gets skipped in the dreams though. Best to leave that to real life"... then tried to kiss her, denied!

Did I just go about this all wrong?
Was she throwing the frames out, and simply not liking the directions I took them?

It ended with her saying "wow you must just love getting rejected!", after isolating herself on the couch. I tried to reengage by telling her to "at least come cuddle over here with me ya wierdo", and she wouldn't. I couldn't touch her. Never in my life had a seen a girl so duly entertained, and resistant.

With a smile she goes, "Hueman, stop you're making me uncomfortable!" After my final attempt by saying, "well if you're in love with that side of the couch, I'm coming to you!" moving over, asking her to lay down with me, but she stayed curled in a ball, refusing.

o_O
o_O
o_O

Weird.

I said, "should I leave?" and she gave me a very neutral answer, so I started to collect my things.

Her: "My company isn't good enough for you?"
Me: "You said you had your standards (her rules on dates), and, I have mine"

I left in a warm way, and was polite. Although I am admittedly bitter considering I drove all that way, this was not exhibited in my actions towards her. I remained positive and persistent.

Fuck it, night game this weekend!

Peace,

Hueman
 

Hue

Tribal Elder
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Messages
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Looks like I got the green man. Sweet, let's keep going.

Went out Friday. My friend has been reading tons of pick up, and he's starting to get excited about the possibilities. I went to get a drink and he had cold approached 4 chicks! I came in to help wingman and talked to this cute brunette.

They were smoking these color cigarettes, like straight out of the 20's lol. I joked with them about it, and then turned to the brunette. Turns out we're both doing the exact same shit in our research labs, and she got all excited. Then she had to talk to some dude behind her. and I said something like, "Uh oh, is your boyfriend mad I'm talking to you :) ?" She responded playfully, kind of ignoring the boyfriend thing. So I said, "actually though, is that your boyfriend?". It was but "it's complicated". So I saw that as a strong yellow flag. The dude was staring me down then looking down submissively, I figured she was in the process of distancing herself or something. I would have gotten her number right then and there, but the guy was right there so I chose to be more covert in my actions. That was dumb, it would have been dominating to just number grab it.

We chatted and I ended it, walking away. She was staring at me after, but right after I left the boyfriend talked to her looking all concerned and then they left together.. definitely should have gotten the number. Then I went to this club near the area and went up to a girl standing by herself. I used that "Are you good at taking compliments from a stranger?" opener, then made her give me one, then she started asking me thing about myself. We did the same studies, so I moved her. Then I started getting pretty physical and she was into it. Our faces were really close but I didn't want to make out, last time I did that I didn't bring the girl home.

She needs to find her friends, and I persist, saying lets go get food you can call / text them there, and she complied. Right then, her friends role up, I build quick report, then get us moving again. And this dude that's friends with her rolls up, grabs her, and they start to leave. And she starts to goes with him.. I was confused, but I already had her number so I grabbed her arm and let us slip out of each other's hands, saying goodbyes smiling, then icebreaker text her about 20 minutes later. I texted her the next morning to get coffee and no answer.

After that I was late nighting with my friend who just got into pick up and we were talking about alpha males, and how the dudes in our friend group exhibit a lot of alpha traits, but it's dude who people fully listen to when he speaks, can walk in a room and his presence is known no matter is vocality, and that people somewhat blindly follow who's the true alpha.


Saturday was cool, but should have been better.

Off Topic: Dealing with shitty people
My dudes were over at my place drinking champagne when my roommate's squad comes in like a wrecking ball, while the operator is shitfaced. His girlfriend, who normally butts heads with me, was there, and I finally figured out how to deal with her. I'm gonna call her PD for Prima Donna.

I saw a window that I could deep dive her a little bit (not trying to fuck her, just connect) when it was just me and her, and it went well, that was Friday. Today, she was much drunker, and therefore far more irritable. Plus, I "accidentally" drank her 4loko, so she was not happy. After I let her cool off, we were sorta sitting next to each other on the couch. She was saying something, and I interjected sarcastically.
Her: Why are you talking to me?? Hueman, I don't need your sarcastic shit right now! You..
Me: *slowly* PD, you know I'm just playin :) . You weren't even being that [whatever I made fun of her for].
Her: *stops talking, looks down*
Me: Plus, *slowly and lightly shove her* you know you do the same thing to me! Haha.
Her: *blushes and starts laughing* Yea, yeah okay :)

Maybe I just got lucky, but she went from kitty got claws to pussy cat. Vibes felt very good.



That night, I was honestly far too drunk to try and get girls, which sucks because it was a very good night to do so, bars were incredibly crowded.
I went back to that club again since I almost had success the night before. I approached 2 girls that autorejected, then sat down next to another one.
She was excited and showing interest, but her friends kind of were pulling her away from me. She stayed, but she wasn't complying with my frames or my suggestion to move elsewhere (we were already sitting down).

I gave up, and left, half hoping that she'd run after me, but she didn't.

I was standing outside the club waiting for an Uber, and still looking around for any girls that weren't crowded by their friends (I need to start approaching groups again), and I make eye contact with this Indian girl, smile, then look away. She comes up to me and starts talking so rapidly, this was pretty funny.

Her: You're not with your friends! I'm not either, so we should talk. I'm not trying to hook up with you, I think that you're really cute and we should talk though. (lol okay yeah sure)
Me: *slow smile* (this doesn't fit super well but was all I could think of) If you're gonna flirt with me like that, Hello would have been a nice way to start
Her: I wasn't flirting! I was just trying to talk to you. I'm not going home with you!

I don't remember what else was said but the whole thing was really goofy. For some reason she looked really familiar, and I couldn't put my finger on it.
In a drunk and racist moment I stupidly assumed that she was just friends with Winks, and this was a test... for not other reason, than that she was an indian girl, who was quirky like Winks. Fucking.. idiot. I'm at a school with over 50,000 undergrads!

I just was kind of aloof once I reached that conclusion, but stayed nice and teasing her a little bit. Then I got in my uber and left.
I woke up the next morning and realized who it was. I was invited to a fraternity party last semester, and she was showing me hella interest. I asked her "are you single?" and she went nuts. Then later that night I was flirting with that high caliber girl in my first FU (just read that thing again, things have changed a bit), the indian girl tried to break up our conversation so she could talk to me, and I was aloof as fuck.

So now if I see her again AR is very likely because she doesn't think I give any fucks about her. Ah, well. Don't be racist next time and assume that all indians must know eachother, you drunk idiot.

Date with Winks on Tuesday, and hoping to move forward with that latina from my Bio class this week / flirt more with girls in class.
Aaand, my research lab starts again tomorrow, and I think I might have a shift with this hot blonde in there. Total party girl, the TA cock blocked me the only time I saw her at a bar.

Peace peace

Hueman
 

Hue

Tribal Elder
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Joined
Sep 21, 2016
Messages
1,553
I'm noticing one of my sticking points.

I've been fine with getting numbers, but most times I try to set up a date, things fall flat.
Mostly, I don't get a response once I ask.

Those that I've wrote about on here, well,

Mallorie stopped responding after my last set of texts I posted about her. Even though I was very solid on my first impression, and my texts were good, according to the experts on here.

Winks just flaked on tomorrow. She has a very solid reason, but that's concerning. Also I just found out she has a Tinder. That's fine by me, but also concerning.. this morning I didn't have anyone left in my radius to match with.. tonight I do. Her profile is a single picture, so, it would make sense the profile was just made. The correlation of her flaking, and probably just creating a Tinder, well, I know it's speculation but it doesn't leave me feeling so confident with the whole thing.

I texted her asking when the next time she's free is, and no answer...


Class tomorrow, fingers crossed on seeing Spandex.. gonna talk to the girl I chatted with in my first class tomorrow, if not some other one, aand, I think I'll strike up a convo with a girl in my last class, after class ends (the seating and classroom size isn't ideal for flirting / open conversation).

Hueman
 

Hue

Tribal Elder
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Messages
1,553
Ayo,

I was way too exhausted to talk to the girl in my first class, so that didn't happen. I did manage to muster out a how's it going when I sat down though (class had already started).

Spandex, as well as half our section, didn't show up today for the next class.

The girl that I wanted to talked to after class practically ran out when class ended, I might be able to use that as an opener like "what's the hurry?" next time.

Winks responded, and we're doing next week. Her texts were warm. I need to not let myself get down like that. Rationally, I know she's a very busy girl. She just hadn't gotten back to me yet.



FR: Book Club
Then I had a book club meeting, which is 90% women. I sat down to the prettiest girl there, she was short, blue eyes, short brown hair, and a nice petite body. Let's call her Bookworm. I sat down and asked if anyone was sitting there and she gave me a smile, with the look of interest in her eyes and said no you're fine.

Before the actual meeting started I asked an open ended question about one of the topics in the book that was covered in a Ted Talk. During the actual discussion I had people laughing 2 or 3 times, and included a good point here and there. One of which was directly off of what Bookworm had said.

She started to pack her things to go, and so I tapped her side and asked what time it was, then acted like I also had to go (she probably realized this was bullshit later, but it matters not). Once everyone saw us packing our things, the meeting slowly came to an ending.

I started chatting with her as we walked away,

Me: So did you just come here for the free food or did you actually like the book?
Her: Oh yeah, you caught me. No, I thought it was a good read.
Me: What's your name?

blah blah blah

Me: You weren't in here last year, but you read [book we read last semester]?
Her: Well I read that one on my own.
Me: Ooo look at you :) . Fantastic read though (qualifying)

talk about books she's read, lightly touch on what I read when she asks

At one point:
Me: Where are you headed right now?
Her: I'm on my way to tuttle, what about you?
Me: I think I'll just being staying with you for a bit :)
Her: Oh, okay! :) (I understand this isn't leading, and probably was doing a little too much pulling before pushing)

Me: Let me get your number, I'd be doing myself a crime if I didn't get in on some of this stuff you're checking out (I probably didn't really need to make a contextual reason)
Her: Okay yea!
*gives phone, she struggles because it's a droid*
Her: I don't know how to.. um..
Me: Bookworm, don't tell me you're one of those girls who can't handle a droid! (playfully) *grab her arm near her elbow*
Her: I'm sorry! Haha *I point towards the contact box* I had a nightmare I had a Samsung it was terrifying.
Me: A nightmare? Come on :) *push side lightly*, what so you.. *short description of hypothetical dream*
Her: *She gives me a brief synopsis of her nightmare and we laugh*

moments later

Me: Do you drink coffee?
Her: Yeah I do *smiling looking up at me*
Me: We should get coffee sometime then
Her: Yeah we should!
Me: Are you...
Her: *interrupting* I've got a pretty crazy week though... something something
(as the interaction continued, she interrupted me more, not in a rude or obtrusive way, more like thoughts kept coming to her, I wonder if this is because she was a.) nervous b.) more comfortable as we continued... I'd put c.) uncomfortable and derailing, but I really don't think it was)

Her: *says something about "doing things" with her girl friend*
Me: Oh some things
Her: Yeah you know (didn't use enough tonality, she missed it)
Me: You were doing things? (innuendo)
Her: Haha, oh yea we were really dooing some things
Her: No though, I'm not into that
Me: Ookay, sure... a little adventerous *mischievous smile*(sexual framing)
^could have gone smoother, but it worked

The ending, I hate to say was the sloppiest part. She ended up telling me where she was from, and how she came to this school to follow her ex. I laughed, and said "yeah a lot of people do that", and then silly me, I said some weird romantic shit, like "so now you're just a couple of lost souls, huh?"
We were close to the parking garage she was parked in, and the conversation slowly dying down.

I tried to spike it a tiny bit at the very ending, though. I told her it was nice meeting her, and to give me a hug. She smiled at that, and told me to text her. My body was turned, and I just said yea! and smiled. In text it doesn't sound that bad, but just felt slightly awkward was all.

A few minutes later, I texted her:
Me: Hey Bookworm it's Hueman. Glad we ran into eachother :) have fun "doing things" in [her location]
Her: Hey! I'm glad we did too! I'll let you know when I'm free in between "doing things" for coffee ;)

Now, I like seeing these kinds of icebreakers ^
But like I put yesterday, it has been one of my sticking points that these things don't come to fruition.

Part of me wants to text her back something where coffee = doing things, but I don't want to push my luck.. especially when this is a week away. If it were sooner that we'd be meeting I'd try and move fast then, but it'd probably be better to let things simmer then move fast when we meet. And, I had mistakes along the way.
Weaknesses:
1. Pretended that I had to leave (I didn't say anything, but the action wasn't genuine)
2. Relied on a contextual reason to get her number (only somewhat genuine)
3. Romantically framed her
4. Ending was not smooth
5. I didn't lead literal direction of interaction

Strengths:
1. I showed I was socially calibrated during the actual meeting
2. During the meeting multiple girls were checking me out after I had spoken (preselection)
3. Teased well
4. Got some physical touch going
5. Number grabbed, then asked her on a date
6. Used innuendo and sexually framed both in person and text
7. Picked up on her initial interest when I sat down next her

At one point we were talking about the stigmas of psychologists during the meeting, and during a good window I said,
Me: I'm sure all the psych majors here can say that at one point... someone's said, "Oh, you're a psych major? Read my mind!"
*most everyone laughs*
Me: Which.. can be kind of fun.."
*again, laughs*
Bookworm: Yea, you can mess with some people :)
Totally might bring this up on our date to do the same thing I did with Mallorie if it feels right.

Let's hope this one goes well! The fact she brought up her ex, without me asking if she was single is good.. I don't want to be in boyfriend territory, but based of what she said in the meeting, I wouldn't mind a little relationship with her. Shes got looks, brains, and it seems like we got some common interests. Obviously, I'll play it by ear, but she exhibited some attractive traits throughout it all.

Keep it pushing

Hueman
 

Hue

Tribal Elder
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Joined
Sep 21, 2016
Messages
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Off topic:
In social situations, do girls just laugh from a social queue that the speaker was making a joking / presenting things in a comical way? I had thought it before, but after rereading my journal entry, I remembered the thought. Like, sure, someone could say something funny, and one on one both parties might laugh. In a social context though, I think girls might just be responding to a social queue, which is why almost always the begin to laugh and cease laughing at the same time.

Idk, nothing of concern, just a thought.


Also, I've been fucking up with terminology here and there. After some looking on the boards, found Franco's post with this link of PUA terminology. Gonna post it here for easy access. http://www.pualingo.com/pua-terminology-list/

FR: Concert Afterparty

Great night last night, but I wildly struck out.

So my buddy is in the DJ scene in my city, and he heard that after a VIP only concert with this artist was finished, they were going to a club in the city for an afterparty.

When my roommate and I heard this we set up plans to go. His friend hit up two hot chicks to come but they bailed.
I was worried because I turn 21 this Saturday, and going to a club can be risky with my RI. Luckily, once we got there, they carded my friends, and then the bouncer had to handle some shit, so I got in without getting carded. What a relief.

We get in, and holy shit. Older people bars >>>>>>>> college bars. So many more gorgeous women.

We're dancing in front of the DJ's stand, and we realized everyone around us is rolling face lol. Mad jealous.
A couple girls are eyeing us in the VIP section, which we have no access to. I go to get a drink, and there's a group of girls to my left and right.
The girl on the right is hotter, so I say the easy: "What are you about to get me?" She can't hear me because it's loud as fuck. Her fat friend starts talking to me, and I figure "alright they're grouped up, I should build report with both. The fat bitch wants the D, and the other one starts grinding with my friend. Good for him, but fuck. I'll only wingman so far...

I try the same line on an older looking women, and she goes "that's a good one!" and walks away lol. I didn't know what to say to this, so I just went, "oh you thought I was kidding?" and turned away slightly while smiling. She walked off.

Then some girl was standing by herself, so I approached with, "Are you waiting on somebody?". I quickly realized she was really drunk, it was her 25th birthday, we chatted, got a little physical, and then things cut off. She wanted to and try to get backstage and I let her.

Then I went back to dancing for a bit, a girl was eyeing me down so I used the "are you good at taking compliments from strangers?" for the first time I received "no." back, and she turned away.

That was one thing I had a really hard time distinguishing with the age group, if a women was playing aloof or actually was like "get away from me beta male" in her head.

After that I basically was like fuck it, I'm not gonna hound. If an opportunity presents itself I'll go but this is hurting my confidence.
Danced my ass off after that, great time. This older girl started singing some song with me, and I thought she was into something. I chatted with her, then tried flirting with her about her neon sunglasses she was wearing in between her cleavage. I was saying she was only wearing them there so I'd look at her chest. She didn't bite, but kept grabbing my attention and turning away.

Eventually I saw she was using me to make another dude jealous. Mad respect to the guy, he was grinding on one bitch (ended up talking with her later, she's 21), and teasing this 26-27 year old that I had just been talking to. I find out later he was 32.. weird to think someone 12 years older than me is hitting the same bar.

My roommate sees his old fuck buddy and they start making out, and her friends were this cute blonde girl and that 21 year old.

After the bar closed, we were flirting with that group of girls, and invited them to uber over to our apartment. 3 of them, 3 of us, the implications were obvious. My roommate handled it well, and we order an XL, and start driving back. The girl grabs shotgun, and unbeknowist to any of the guys, directs the uber to their apartment, where they flush out without saying anything prior to that. So we got used..lame. I don't know how the girls communicated telepathically to pull that off, I never heard any mention of it haha.

All in all some good experience.





Classroom game:

I was hungover as fuck and missed my first class, then showed up for the 2nd one late. I sit next to this cute brunette.
Opened conversation with "what'd I miss?" and caught up on a few notes.
Then I used the Tophat thing again, and this girl as crazy good notes. She transcribed the whole chapter, and knows 90% of it.
We talked the whole time, with a little bit of teasing, not much flirting though. She's pretty inexperienced I can tell. Definitely a freshmen.
I learned shes: Swiss, engineering major, from california, likes to travel, snow board, and ski, plays varsity for the college soccer team, and we drink coffee the same way. There was other stuff in there, but nothing important.

I used the "What are you in here for?" line to be flirty this time.
Me: What are you in here for?
Her: Idk, like what's my major?
Me: *pause* No, like jail. You probably did something much worse than declaring a major *playful shove*
Her: *smiles, then pulls shirt over face* (very cute, but pretty clear sign of inexperience)
Tweak: next time "Nah, like the big house...you probably did something a lot naughtier than declaring a major" (;

I got her number towards the end of class, then after we walked out suggested we get coffee sometime soon at my usual spot. She agrees, and we say nice meeting eachother and go our separate ways.

This is the same class as Spandex and spandex is hotter.. so, we'll see what happens. I guess it might help with preselection.

Hueman
 

Ken

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Hey, I'm turning 21 this Saturday too. Maybe we have the same birthday and were born on the same year.
 

Hue

Tribal Elder
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Ken,

Yeah man, must be.. I'm hungover as a motherfucker right now. There's probably a FR from last night but I was out for the count a little after midnight haha. Happy birthday bro!
 

Ken

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Thanks bro.
 

Hue

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Busy as fuck.

Shot a ball in court text to Winks, she bailed for the 3rd time. All legitimate excuses, but that's a shame. Thought I had that one in the bag initially.

It's been almost 3 weeks since I talked to Catfish, I think I'll hit her up now that things have calmed down since our time with LMR. In a perfect world, I'd just see her when I was out, be able to use preselection, then bring her home.

Mallorie = radio silence, might shoot her another text in a couple days.

Bookworm and I are to get lunch on Saturday :)

The cali girl from class shot me a "I'm kind of seeing someone" text. I forgot to answer for a day or two, then sent her something along the lines of, "if you have a boyfriend that's one thing, but you're welcome to join me for a good time" and no answer.

Can't find Spandex in the lecture hall lol.

My fuck buddy from last semester hasn't been super responsive, although she agreed to get drinks with me in the near future.


So, I'm on a dry spell.. and it blows. Ironic it happens right after moving up a rank and around my 21st.
That, plus school, job 1, job 2, internship, clubs, and attempting self improvement has been stressful. A lot to balance, but with good organization I can rebound no problem. Keeping motivation, and continuing good hobbies is key.
I should note though, I don't really feel like I've lost all these women.

Side note:
Trying to learn how to be more adaptive while being myself, helps in losing the mechanical shit. I had one of those free trial calls with Hector, hell of a birthday present. I think there was a period where I was developing well as a natural (especially before I transferred schools... I had pretty decent body count, and something going with a very high quality woman, but blew it), then I read a little too deep into shit on here tbh. Moving forward...

Recently downloaded a Tinder-esque app called Friendsy, where you select if you want to be friends, hook up, or date college students near you. Cool concept, but no one seems to know how to use it yet, I believe it's new in the area.
I've had some luck with matches, all the hot ones have matched as "friend", one semi-hot asian girl matched for "hook up".
The way I see it, it's no different than how one would gauge a match on Tinder by the profile.
If she's got sexual puns / revealing pictures --> hookup
If she's got this huge bio and all these preferences --> date
If she doesn't have much, like, an innocent profile --> friend

All still possible lays.

Got 3 numbers from that, scheduled drinks with the hook-up and she flaked, one friend auto-rejected, the other is too busy this week and we'll get coffee in the next. I think I did some things pretty good in two of them though, so I'll post the convos. FTR they have a few tags you can choose, I kept mine simple with my major, fraternity, and music interest.

FR: Friendsy App

Friend Match (basically equivalent to an open approach rather than a hookup or date match)
Me: Hey K******, you're pretty cute :) (opener w/ compliment)
Her: Thank you :)
Me: So you're a bookworm hmm? What're you reading right now
Her: The loriene legacies series
Me: And what might that be about? I'm into Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance at the moment (common ground)
Her: [long description about aliens who take over earth and fight with rival aliens]
Me: That... Sounds badass as hell. Do some humans squad up to help or do the former of the aliens have 2 wars to fight? (qualifying while showing some personality. Also she must be nerdy giving me the go ahead to be kind of nerdy too)
Me: If so which side would you pick? ;p
Her: [long descripition, the good aliens]
Me: Respect, serving justice and what not. I'd probably do the same, but in a different way... (some qualifying)
Me: No doubt the move is to go double agent, become an alien pimp with the enslavers, then flip it on em once I got the self destruct codes or whatever.. duh ;-p
Her: Bwahaha so you just wanna be a total bad ass
Me: Would be*
Me: Yes, after I shag with the queen of course. Talk about a freak ;-* (sexual frame)
Her: Lol of course (dim green light)
Me: You a fan of coffee, K*******?
Her: I am not, I'm a tea person
Me: Smart girl, far less addictive. Let's grab a cup sometime if we're not too busy (last qualifier before close)
Her: Yeah we can do that
Me: What's your #?
Her: *************

We text, she's busy this week.


Hookup Match (No reason not be immediately sexual/flirty) Also, there's a prompt to start conversation. I think it's dumb and ignore it, but..
Prompt: Do you ever play videogames?
Her: Sometimes
Me: Did you just grab my ass? (Thank you DrexelScott!)
Her: Did you want me to (yellow light)
Me: Wasn't bad, but you're probably glad it's my turn ;p (chase frame)
Her: Lmao you wish ;p (green light)
Me: Nah we'll have to be a little more creative.. that would only be trouble (inspired from Drexel, but not a copy paste this time)
Her: So quick & clever
Her: It'd have to be soon because I'm leaving in a week *waving goodbye emoji* (she goes to my old school)
Me: We can grab a drink this weekend, what's your number?
Her: **********

Too bad she flaked, as we texted the logistics became increasingly worse. She probably wanted it that day.. i can't remember why but I couldn't.
Then when I texted her I wasn't directly sexual, and used almost entirely innuendo, since she swiped for hookup I probably just should have flat out said we would meet up and fuck. (With better wording)
Later on, I got really horny Friday after class and tried to switch the day on her to a "right now" situation. I gave that Saturday to Mallorie who then didn't respond. Glad I see this now.


There's one good thing from this dry spell though. There's been a couple days where I've just been super motivated to improve my game to overcome the problem.

Till next time

Hueman
 

Hue

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I'm getting better at frame control. Nearly have it completely down in my biology lab, as the friendly asshole who doesn't give a fuck.
Unintentionally I've been late 3 times to each lab (we meet once a week), so it's all eyes on me every time I walk in (slowly, while slowly wrapping my headphones and nonchalantly sitting down).
My credits didn't transfer so I'm the oldest dude there, which might help.
The last class in particular made me realize my frame was having a solid effect.

FR: Bio Lab

I wake up from a nap gone wrong at my apartment, and text the group:
Me: Hey friends, I'll be with you shortly. Do we have a quiz?
Bitchy girl: No we don't
Me: *Kissy emoji*

I parooz in about 20 minutes late, and see that a new girl in the class has taken my seat. There's another chair there with a coat on it, so I just assume it's open, and walk over very nonchalantly. Slowly get my things out, and sit back in my seat into a comfortable position.

The opening lectures finishes and I turn to my table and slightly smile. I could see in my peripheral the new girl was looking at me, but I haven't gotten a look at her. She's one of the hottest girls in the class, the only one hotter sitting far away and out of my reach to talk to smoothly. I just let the girls talk for a bit, until the student teacher starts talking about our assignment, derived from a podcast. When he finishes, I say, "We had.. a podcast?" I actually did not remember. Two of the girls giggle and smile at me with a kind of 'oh my god...' look on their face. The new girl is looking in my direction, but I can't make out her emotion. The bitch just rolls her eyes.

Shortly after the new girl has to leave, to make up for the old labs or something, and so I stand up to take her seat as she does. I get her name with a warm smile, thrown with a handshake but.. don't at all remember it now. (she's definitely the one I'll be trying to move on though)

I take her seat and say,
Me: Did I miss all the fun stuff?
Bitch: Nope! just the lecture
Bitch: You know it's not helping you to show up late all the time
Me: I was a tad busy... plus you don't get penalized unless you're 30 late
Bitch: Yeah but you're missing all the stuff for the lab
Me: Not if I'm supported by my awesome lab partners *full smile*

The other two girls smile back, and the bitch is just like "I'm not carrying you!" I just laugh

That^ is generally the vibe of most if not all of my interactions in the lab. If I wrote the whole lab it'd be waay to long of a post.


On that day in particular the bitch girl said some innuendo without realizing it, and I laugh.
Bitch: Why are you laughing?
Me: [repeat it back to her]? That could mean alot of things, Bitch (obviously not calling her a bitch lol)
Bitch: Wh.. oh, *laughs*

A few moments pass and then one of the other girls says something else innuendo and Bitch and her joke around, I just smile and say "Keep em coming!"


At one point the black girl directly says to me, "I don't know how you just walk in here and sit down! I'd be all freaking out about coming in late" to which I just smiled and let Bitch intercept with something disapproving.

There's been a few points where I've had to disarm Bitch. She's super into biology and called herself a try hard (which is totally cool) and actually started getting really aggressive with me where she was fucking up the microscope and getting pissed. I gave a suggestion and she starting going off, I just said, "hey, I'm trying to help, if you don't want any that's your problem." and went back to my assignment. Then she was giving me shit about not answering any open-class questions (which I don't because they're usually rudimentary) when the opportunity presented itself I raised my hand and ask a question that the student teacher than spends 5 minutes making sure the whole class understood, because it was a common misconception in the past for the assignment, and just smile at her. She looks at me with a slight smile and intensity in her eye and I just give her one of those sarcastic "I don't know" gestures. I had to tease her about how she loves to talk at one point but I don't remember the context.


The only places where I've not been good is raising their attainability, I compliment them occasionally, but not enough that's directed at their character, and answering their attempts at starting conversation. In one of Chase's relatively recent articles it talks about how girls are usually terrible at initiating conversation, and I agree. The black girl really excitedly asked me "what class do you have before this???" when I mentioned something about that to Bitch, and I just told her the class. Since she's so excited I could probably draw it out more, or say something joking. Instead my flat and exact answer just shot her down and she lost her energy after that.

I was also the first to leave, making it clear that I've got other things that are a higher priority to me than this one class, the last lab I'll ever had to take.

Now I just need to hold frame and the rest should solve itself, then get the new girls number / instadate after the lab. It's very late, so chances are I could move us to get drinks then to my house.
 

Hue

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Went out tonight to an "adult bar" as the people in my age group put it.

First one I went to I was just trying to get conversation rolling.
As I bought a drink, I asked this pretty woman next to me how her night had been. We chatted and I found out she works for Abercrombie, as a GM. Used that as a tease because the upper levels of the company are all good looking people (ask any business major that's been to their career fairs), and about how she got her job and it was a nice, low level flirting to start the night. She wasn't giving me many signals other than continuing the conversation, so I didn't go in very much.. eventually a group of guys that she entered with came in anyways.

The next place we went to, my friends kept telling me it was a "gay area" (I was out with some older friends tonight. The girls and guys alike told me this having experience in the area), and I eventually found that to be true.

First girl I go up to I have a nice chat with, find out where she works and what she does.. she's very excited with talking to me. She had a very short haircut, glasses, and piercings. I had bought a drink without knowing what it really was: a pink smoothy with a load of vodka, and all my dude friends were giving me shit. I ask her what she's drinking and she responds with the same question to me, and I tell her what it is, mentioning now all my friends think I'm gay. Right after that she said, "it was nice meeting you Hueman!" and left.

...


Was she lesbian? Or was asking her what she was drinking too basic of a transition question after finding out what she does?

A couple days ago, another friend of mine (she's like 28) told me that as a 21 year old told me another area of town is "more my speed".
Well fuck that
What better way to have a step ahead of the game by the time I'm 22 then to dive into the real shit?
Cut your teeth and be the young guy that people don't expect to be socially calibrated!

Anyways, after that I spark up a convo with a group of 3 girls. They quickly tell me that they're all lesbian and that those three have sex with eachother all the time. I had some really fun sex talk with them, and screened them to see if they were bi or truly lesbian, but the dominating girl explained they really were (she was the only one that was hot anyways). My buddy saw me do it and thought I just did it wrong, then approached them himself. Pretty funny to watch actually.. knowing what the dude was experiencing.

A girl who's dating one of my best friends is trying to get me laid, seeing me "strike out" twice.
She says, "those girls are cute! talk to them!". I say, "I'll do it at my own pace, thanks."

Shortly after that the bar lights come on, and I grab the arm of the blonde my friend was just referring to and say some shit I don't remember.

Next thing I know I have the blonde and her friend grabbing all over me about getting Don Julio, even though the bar is obviously closed. I explained to them again and again that, no shit, the bar is closed we can't get drinks but let's have fun somewhere else, and they continued to push for it. Should have been more suspicious in that instant.
Then, we're outside and me and the blonde are getting really close and physical, I knew I could kiss her but I didn't as to withhold and plateaus of attraction. I got real horny.
They're still playing dumb as fuck, and then Uber was overloaded with requests and wouldn't do anything. So, we needed to step out of the area to call one.

I said again, and again, that we need to go and walk a block over to go get this shit done, but they won't.
Then, we steal a fucking Uber and pretend to be drunk people that can't properly work an Uber lol.
When I start playing their game with the driver, they switch out of their frame entirely and give me this look, like "oh, honey, look at you.. so cute".... and that's when it hit me.

These chicks were playing the fuck out of me.

We get to the next place and I'm trying to dominate what we do, but they ignore me, go over to the line outside the bar they "thought was still open" and talk to these dudes next to this shack, and they're friends. They mention something about payment to their 3rd girl friend to the guy their talking to, and he starts laughing his ass off.
Again I try to dominate and get us to someone's apartment, and they are aloof. At which point, I say, "aight, I'm out" and walk away.

Uber home, and hear a funny story from an Uber driver about the intro of a threesome that broke out in his back seat once upon a time.

Interesting night...

I've decided that I need to ditch my friends and just go out solo. It'll be hard at first, but I'm gonna read up on here about some smart tips to do it.

*peace sign*

Hueman
 

Hue

Tribal Elder
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I saw Chase's post on things to stop doing on the Boards, and while I'm probably not the most terrible case of such errors, it wouldn't hurt for some constructive criticisms:

1). Take expert's advice more seriously, and be sure to make an effort to try their advice multiple times to see if it fits or can be rearranged

2). Stop using my Journal as a personal diary (the way I write includes many details some of the time, and perhaps I've been speaking too much on my personal life / things unrelated to progress with seduction)

3). Definitely don't write on here drunk again (I did last night, in my original recall of the Xmas party LR, and in my first FU)

4). Respect the fact that any suggestions that are made on here are people going out of their way to help me

5). Don't use the boards to feed ego / boost self esteem

6). Don't make the excuse that I'm too busy to try out things. While I have noticed a decline of success since the school year started again, and I have been much busier, this is no excuse, and I should be happy that I now have even more women to try and talk to.


Goals:
1). Go out alone when I'm not studying to meet friends / girls
2). Lower the amount of drinks I have when I'm trying to meet friends / girls
3). Cold approach in between classes when I'm not studying
4). Perfect my Server game (post is still in the making. I want to be sure it's good shit when I post it)
5). Remember some of the lessons learned from my cognitive dissonance last month (actions speak louder than words, you're only real when new attempts at behavior are internalized, everything you do is you within a context, it's important to see yourself in a clear light (not too positive or negative)).


Specifically,
I'm going to go to 3 different bars before the weekend, completely by myself, and strike up conversations with strangers. I will have no more than 3 drinks, unless things are going well and it fits the situation. Tuesday for sure, Thursday maybe. (If thursday, I'm going to the places my 28 year old friend suggested. Even though my motivation to hang around older people bars if for a sound reason, that's ignorant to not take her advise, as an experienced bar goer.)

I'm going to wait until it's a nice day outside, then walk around the student park and approach girls that are sitting on a tree, bench, etc.

I'm going to stop at least 5 girls after classes / on the way to class with a cold approach, daily.

Organization

Hueman
 

Hue

Tribal Elder
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Contacted a girl, I'll call her Red, that I had steered too close to friend zone with, then sloppily tried to sexually frame about 6 months ago.

She's seen me since then, on a date in the same coffee shop that we got coffee, so preselection's a check. Looking back my fundamentals and self frame of the date her and I had were pretty wack.
I think we'll be able to get drinks / coffee soon.

Then there's that nerdy girl from Friendsy. She said she's feeling ill, so I'll shoot her another text next week, definitely at a different coffee shop than the girl I just mentioned.

Also, I'm gonna wait till after midterms and text Bookworm. Don't wanna give that one up just yet.

My goal was to approach 5 girls today, but because of my schedule I only approached 3.

I was wearing a tight, light grey and grainy tshirt, with a polyester black sweater unzipped overtop. Navy blue shorts, dark grey shoes, and a black hat with a light grey bill. Overall, I thought it was a pretty nice outfit closer to my streetwear side of style. It was really nice out, so it felt great to rock a hat and some shorts again.

After my first class, I remembered I had planned on approaching, and began to get a little anxious, but then I convinced myself to at least go see what kinds of girls were at the park. Unfortunately there weren't as many hot girls as I envisioned, but I looked.

1). First girl I saw was just getting up from studying under a tree, and I was walking in her direction. She was probably an 8. I almost dipped out, but a voice in me just said no, you said you'd do it. Don't be a pussy.
She wasn't looking at me, so absolutely no IOI's. Write before she put her headphones, she was looking down, and I wrapped around my walking path to be right infront of her.

Me: Excuse me,
Her: Yeah? *wtf do you want type of face*
Me: Are you single?
Her: No, I'm actually dating a [rival football college] player. *starts walking away*
Me: Oh, well I just thought you were cute and wanted to meet.. you... (she's gone)
Me: You have a good one!

I chuckled, smiled, and went into the library to grab a drink. I think I'll eventually approach here but right now I'm not comfortable with the noise level and proximity of people.

2). Second girl was at a bench next to the park, but I couldn't get a good look at her from my entrance angle, so I walked passed her into the building in front of her. This practice of positioning was by far the weirdest part for me. I felt awkward deliberately faking my walking path just to check out a chick or have a solid angle to come in from. Will read up more on dealing with this. I went in, said hi to a girl that was walking out, and looked at my phone to see if anyone had taken my shift yet.

After about a minute, I walked back out. She was about a 6, reading a book. I slowly walked up, with a slight smile.
Me: Hi (in the kind of tone a cashier would give you)
Her: *looks up, surprised* Um, hey *smile*
Me: Are you single? *slow smile*
Her: Sorry, no, I'm not.
Me: Okay. I just thought you were really cute and wanted to meet you.
Her: Oh, haha, yeah sorry.
Me: Have a good one!

Nother swing and a miss, but this one had way less anxiety on the actual approach, and I smiled knowing that I had just lifted her mood with the compliment.

3). Then I couldn't find any girls in my path that were alone and good looking. I passed by some average looking girls, just smiling, sometimes saying hi, then I decided since no one had covered my shift yet I better get home. I was a block or two away from a bank I had to hit, and saw a cute blonde that had just worked out, looked like a 7, but I couldn't see.
So, I aligned my path to be walking near her, but she was slightly ahead of me (this felt weirder than the 1st one, because now I'm following her around, even though we were headed the same direction).
There's a stop at the crosswalk, and I wait, using my peripheral to see if there's any IOI's. She kept semi squatting and had a look like she was worried, so I used a different opener.
Me: Your legs okay? *smile*
Her: *looks, smiles, kind of excited and surprised* Oh, yeah they're fine.
Me: You looked like you were in some real pain there (maybe should have said, Hi, I'm Hueman since I hadn't introduced myself to anyone yet?)
Her: Yea I'm all good!
*cross light changes, she starts power walking. I'm now next to her, but much taller so I don't have to walk as hard*
Me: How's your day been?
Her: It's been solid! You?
Me: So far so good. Not gonna lie I just thought you were cute and wanted to get to know you.
Her: *big smile* OH!
Me: Are you single?
Her: No, no I'm not *still smiling*
Me: Oh, alright then *slight smile*, have a good one


So I managed to get my feet slightly damp, and I have a lot to work on. Also 3/5 approaches is better than an almost 0/5, so at least I did something.
Definitely plan on reading some more on this process once midterms are over, this is my study break.

Found out my internship is cancelled for Wednesday, and is delayed on Friday, so I'm set to go out on Tu + Th and explore. If I can land a date with Red for either day I'll be doing that too.

Staying focused

Hueman
 
the right date makes getting her back home a piece of cake

Hue

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Haven't shown up to my AM class in 3 classes, came in for the exam today and sit next to the girl from my old class.
Me: Hey how you been? :)
Her: Good, you haven't been here in a while!
Me: I've been a tad busy. You pumped for this exam?
few lines of smile talk, teach starts handing out scan trons
Me: Can I borrow a pencil?
Her: Yeah, I...*rummaging through backpack*.. you'll.. have to use orange though *hands pencil
Me: Oh. Nope, *take pencil* not happening
Her: *laughs*
Me: Try not to copy my answers, though *smirk, raise eyebrows*
Her: Hahaha we'll see.
Teacher: I encourage EVERYBODY to keep there eyes on their own paper
Me: *Takes test in left hand, lightly push her leg with right*

Would have talked to her after but she was the first to finish.

Quiz at the end of my last class today, I still haven't found a smooth entrance to open on the asian girl I've been checking out. Realized I wasn't employing abundance mentality with the class, there's plenty of cute girls in there.
Should have waited for the asian girl to finish her quiz before leaving, it would have given a bit more privacy for convo than usual since the whole class isn't flooding out at the same time, but I turned it in right when I finished.

Ended up walking out at the same time as some average looking girl, then struck up a convo:
Me: What'd you get?
Her: What'd I get?
Me: Like answers, I got blah blah blah
Her: blah blah blah
Me: Oooh, aren't I a slacker.
Her: Haha *smiles* I guess soo.

can't remember what she said, but she ends up telling me why she took the class

Her: Yeah, I'm Neuro, so. *kinda pompous sounding, but I don't think intentionally*
Me: Oooo look at yooou *sarcastically*
Her: Hahaha yea that's me.
Me: Realistically though, you just looked at the class roster, found me, and checked the box *smirk*
Her: *big smile* Yeah haha that's definitely why.
She asks me where I'm going, she's just going back to her house, I'm going back to mine.
Had she been hotter I definitely would have moved that into an insta-date or even suggested we go back to someones house if she responded appropriately to touch, but since she wasn't I kept my hands off.
I did get her number, half regretting it. I was more doing it as a warm up, but it's not good to get a bunch of numbers in one class, last semester I did that and didn't get any of the girls who I probably could have had I been more selective. At least I have a study partner now.


Then I walked through the student park again, and it was lightly raining. I couldn't find any hot girls alone, and obviously no one was staying in one spot since it was raining. I eventually get to the same road girl #3 was yesterday, and there's this girl just before it standing next to a statue texting.
I redirect my course and call my friend to see if he'll join my bar hop tonight, but he's too busy.

I got IOI's from her when I said during the phone call "yeah I wanna go explore. All my dudes like going to the same places and that's boring to me, I wanna try some new places", and she looked up from her phone and stared at me with intrigue for a bit. Then I hung up and she was back to looking at her phone unfortunately. I played around on it a bit more to see if she'd look again and I could meet her gaze, but nada. So, I walk up to her and same as most of them yesterday.
Me: 'Cuse me
Her: Hey :)
Me: Are you single? *mischievous smile*
Her: Haha, sorry no, I'm not.
Me: That's cool, just wanted to stop and check in on ya... have a good one

I kept walking on the street looking for hot girls, didn't see one in my path. Then it started to rain harder so I diced home.

Tweaks:
Slow down speech
Go somewhere that you can sit, and people will pass by
Say something else besides "have a good one" if they're taken it's too rewarding
Obviously, approach more girls
Try sexy smile, closed lips, before full or mischievous smile
 

Hue

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Just got back from the bar hop. I ended up having a drink at 5/7 bars, which was unnecessary and in fact diminished my drive and mentality, imagine that. Next time I do something like this I'll just drink water.
The real need I found was having a drink in my hand to not stand out.. which as I'm typing this... doesn't make sense. I never really got drunk, anyways, it was over the course of about 5 hours, so a drink an hour on average.

This really isn't the best representation of this part of the city, and I'll probably go visit some of these places again over the weekend, considering it's a Tuesday

1st bar: Probably my favorite one. Front opens up to a big rectangular bar with darts on the side, pool and arcade in the back. Dope TV's and drinks.
I chatted with the cute bartender for a bit, asking her about the place. She wondered why I was curious so I explained I was familiarizing myself with the bars in the area, which she seemed surprised by for a 96'er.

Only one hot girl and she had a boyfriend, but I chatted with a couple people next to me to be in a sociable mood.

2nd bar: Arcade/videogame bar. Neat place, brought out my inner nerd. Every hot chick was with a dude, the rest were fat chicks. Might come back later.

3rd bar: All adults. Ended up talking to a 50~ year old woman, average looking, who was an academic advisor at my school. Best conversation all night. Mildly flirted with her until I found out her position, then just enjoyed the talk until I finished my drink.

4th bar: All fat chicks and dudes. Watched a really dope band with a sick lead guitarist, made me want to get back into playing lead again. My club will eventually perform a rap concert here.

5th bar: One semi hot birthday girl surrounded by fat friends. In my opinion a no go. Talked to to cute bartender, some girl with a bf next to me, and some random dude.

6th bar: No chicks, just dudes. More my age group and free pool on Tuesdays. Did have a good dialogue with a hot bartender. I had her give me the run down of all the cool shit at their bar, what I should get, and ended up explaining why I was out alone. She gave me one of those looks like she was intrigued, but not willing to invested before I left to play pool with some guy. We made acquaintances and were both out alone, which felt good to know I wasn't the only guy doing something like that. The bar had a 5$ minimum on cards, so I had bought two drinks, and gave one to him. Before I had left to play pool with him, I told the bartender to hold on to it for me, I didn't want the shot yet. She said "I'll remember you", a good sign (although I know it's a bartender-customer relationship). When I came back I asked:
Me: Hey can I get that shot
Her: Oh, no I'm driving tonight no thanks
Me: *skeptical glance and smile* Who said that? The one from earlier
Her: *smiling embarrassed* Oh, oh, I thought you wanted to get me one!
Me: Haha, not quite yet, [her name]. The shot's for him (guy next to me).
Me: Yeah this is one of those "what are you getting me" deals without the pick up line

The last part, I have mixed feelings on. Her reaction was solid, she gave me a much stronger look of being intrigued, but I've used this "what are you getting me" pick up line before and probably will again.


After this I was gonna continue walking down the street popping in and out of places until midnightish then go to a bar I knew there'd be lots of people for a Tuesday. Unexpectedly, I ran into my coworker and he invited me back to his place to chill. I figured why not and did, but stayed till almost 1.

7th & last bar: Was pretty out of the social spontaneity at this point, having comforted myself with my coworker, but essentially forced myself to the last one anyways. It was pretty energetic, I was pretty tired. I had been scouting from the walk in and, of course, I see Catfish. She's with a muscular black dude and a couple of her friends. I shot her a text the other day, so I completely ignored her and eye contact. She saw me, and didn't approach, just stared with a slight smile (I think. My peripheral is pretty good, but as I've learned our vision is easily distorted). Then I saw an old fuck buddy of mine and approached her, hoping Catfish would see me for pre-selection. Then I remember that this FB in particular is a total wild card as far as interest, and it goes south. Super cold, her friend (who I should have talked to more) also somewhat cold. My old FB says "I need a cigarette" and walks outside with her friend, so I move to another spot in the bar, sit down and attempt to still scout. None of the girls I saw looked very open to approach, and I kind of just sat there with my thumb up my ass. Then I saw my old FB get denied a cig and walk in all pissed lol, her friend smiled at me sitting and I smiled back. I left shortly after, I was tired and there was no reason to stay IMO.


I enjoyed going out solo again though, I hadn't really done that since being at my old school, where you could get away with bar hopping using a fake.
It will be easier next time, and I'll check out some new places.

This, is my new rule of thumb, based of my experience with the city here. In terms of pulling,
Crowded bars: Go out with 2+ dudes. It's more social, there's more comfort zone for stalling. You don't look like a loner.
Dive bars: Go out alone. You stand out, it's not crowded, and people are more open to conversation.
Clubs: Depends. Want to look for girls standing by themselves? Go alone. Trying to dismantle the inflated egos/social barriers of a group of girls? Go with 1-2 dudes.
"Adult bars": TBD

Hueman
 

Hue

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Was too busy to approach today, I had been moving practically the whole day.

But, I did have my lab where I had the friendly asshole frame down.
Unfortunately I picked up on the fact that all girls at my table, except one who's pretty big, have boyfriends.
Luckily, the girl from across the room was staring me down today. At first I wasn't paying attention and had glanced away, but then immediately glanced back, with her still looking, and smiled. We stared and then she looked away.

Then we had presentations, and I stared with a sexy smile at her when appropriate, she saw me doing it at the very end.
After class I waited so we'd be walking out at the same time, and for her lab partner to leave.
As soon as she did...

Me: If you're gonna flirt with me like that you should at least say hi first *smile*
Her: Haha *smile*, what do you mean?
Me: In class, *playful and teasing* I caught you staring
Her: Oh yeah well you were up there in front of the class
Me: I was talking about earlier, so you were staring during our presentation too, huh?
Her: *laughs and stronger smile* Yeah you caught me

Find out she's a freshmen in bio and wants to be an eye doctor, and I said "makes sense, you do have pretty eyes" and she responded well.
Then I said something totally stupid, about how she probably looks in the mirror to check out her iris or something, totally weird on my part, but I just laughed at the end and said "I'm just playing with you" to try my best and get out of that.
She asks me why I'm in the class and I'm vague, saying "oh it's just for a stupid minor pre-req", but then tell her about a class I'm in with Sensation and Perception, and all we're doing is stuff on the eyes, very cool stuff, switching to why she wants to be an eye doctor.
I tease her about living in a dorm, and how I dodged it by transfering. She goes "yeah everyone that transfers gets dicked here", and she had been so cute and innocent before, I kind of absurdly went, "get dicked?" and smiled to myself because to me her switch of outward image was funny. Dunno if that was just plain weird of me or if it was somehow innuendo.

It was snowing heavy, and she was walking back to her dorm. Plus, I didn't want conversation to fall off, so I ended the conversation and walked into the library right next to us, telling her to enjoy the rest of her evening.

I should have used more touch, no doubt.Only time I did was a playful shove when teasing and grabbing her arm saying have a good night.
I'll do the same next time and shoot for number then insta date.
 

Hue

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Happy days,

Skipped my am class today, next Tuesday I'll go for a number grab / date set up with the girl in there.

Woke up to a text from Catfish (I guess the preselection from last Tuesday worked) asking me about my week. I waited a while to respond and will set something up with her momentarily. (As I typed this sentence she already responded lol)

I realized one of my Psychology building halls has a great post up spot to be noticed by girls and approach. I hadn't been there more than 3 minutes, and up walks Bookworm. Since I saw her last, she hadn't responded to my text to set things up, I got a haircut, and she died her hair. I wasn't 100% sure it was her. I'm reading my book, and I look up and see her staring in my peripheral, so I connect immediately, and she smiles, slowly waving, to which I do the same.

After that I felt the need to walk up to her, but I wasn't positive it was her so I had two thoughts running through my head,
1). If it is her, and I approach, I might be chasing since she hasn't responded
2). Whether it was her or not, I should have waved her to come sit next to me... I'll try and get eye contact again

The eye contact never happened, so once I finished the chapter of the book I was reading, I sat down at the table next to her and said,
Me: It cool I sit here?
Her: *takes headphones out (green light)* Yea of course
Me: Do I know you from somewhere?
Her: *smiles* Yea, we're in book club. I'm the one who hasn't responded to your texts..
Me: *smiles back* Ah, that's you. Well if you're gonna flirt with me like that you should say hi first.
Her: *laughs* Okay, but yeah I've been crazy busy with exams. Literally been at the school building till midnight every day last week..

We chat about Psychology, about our city, her living arrangement & pets, why she wants to be a counselor as well, very briefly on my internship (she said we'll talk about it at dinner), the fact she almost chose my old school before the one we're at now, mostly light talk. Somewhat appropriate for the context, since we were both their to get some work done before class.

Towards the end I was feeling it was too light, and even though I had now set up a date for next week with her, the energy was very low.

From the look of her and what she was saying about studying / tests, she seemed genuinely really tired and not in the best mood for conversation

During a point where convo had fallen off, she was studying Spanish, low key talking to herself and I said,
(This was after we had already set up dinner at the Mexican place I work, tequila included)
Me: Okay you're gonna teach me something
Her: What's that?
Me: So, in Spanish, how do you say "Tequila makes my clothes come off"
Her: *laughs* umm, let's think.
(ponders how to say it, explains the verbal things about it, so I rearrange the sentence to fit)
Her: Well you could say Tequila takes my clothes off
Me: Sounds a tad aggressive, what about [example] (Don't like the fact I said that, missed a better sexual window. Makes me seem less sexual than I am)
Her: Okay, then you got "quitarme mi ropa porque tequila"
Me: Okay, now say it sexy
Her: *laughs* I don't think I can do that just yet
Me: I'll let you pass for now
Me: This dude at work is always asking me about my *pause* the women in my life, always showing me videos of strip clubs and shit like that, so this helps thanks. Now I can say this instead of.. body language to get through the language barrier.
Her: *laughs* glad I could help

convo falls off again

Me: So do you always come to class all blinged out? (She's wearing hella jewerly)
Her: Oh, this? Everyday, yeah.
Me: Which one's your favorite?
Her: *looks down* Hmm, *5s go by, she can't decided*
Me: Top three
Her: *shows me one at a time*

The first one was a ring of two people obviously fucking, both naked.
Me: Hmm, I like this one too.
Her: Yea, same.
Me: Gives you something to think about during class
Her: *laughs* Yeah that really gets me through the lectures
Me: It's got me thinking something right now, actually
Her: *laughs*

The second one was a panther thing, nothing to make sexual, I just related it back to her cat, and asked her about the symbols on it.
The third one was a ring with an Alice in Wonderland quote "We're all mad here"
Me: *smiles* this one's great
Her: Yea, Alice in Wonderland
Me: Oh, is that what this one is?
Her: Yep
Me: I think it's my favorite
Her: *excited look, smiling* Why's that
Me: *looks down, smiling, looks to side, pans back to eye contact* We're all a little fucked up (this is something my grandpa always said. To some it may come across as weird, but the way I said it emulated him, and hopefully showed a good form of vulnerability. I haven't practiced using vulnerability with any girl besides a girl I'm already naked with, so fingers crossed on the effect of that)
Her: Yea, that's true.. *something about Alice in Wonderland*
Me: You're probably a real psychonaut then..
*we both go back to work*

It'd have been really dope if that happened in reverse order.
Vulnerability/similar interest --> light topic --> sexual topic

Alas, that's not what happened.
After that I said, "You're not doing a bad job at distracting me", she replied "Yeah, sorry, I'm talking to myself", and I closed convo for the next 15 minutes with, "Oookay, Ima focus in now", both of us slightly smiling the whole time.

I finish my assignment, and she starts packing up at the same time. I had less to put away than her, and so I could end it on my terms said,
Me: You finished up too?
Her: Yeah, about to head in
...
Me: *now walking to class, her still sitting on my left* I'll see you next Thursday, Bookworm
Her: Yea! See you next Thursday!

I can't deny the fact I low key have feelings for this girl already, and I'm doing my best to tell myself that's retarded, I haven't slept with her and neither of us have any investment in eachother. It's just one of those things.

I'm gonna text her next Tuesday to set up a time for the date, then again on Thursday to confirm it's happening. Once on the date, it should be smooth sailing. Also, I just said we should grab drinks on Thursday, she called it dinner. Dunno if that's significant.

If you're gonna flirt with me like that... --> chase frame (accepted)
You chose this school because you knew I'd be here eventually --> chase frame (accepted)
Tequila translation thing --> implies sex after dinner
My coworker asking me about the women in my life --> I'm not a sexless chap
Sex ring --> I'm a sexual person, so is she
"I don't normally talk about the internship, it's not a very light topic" --> I have things to say, but not to everybody. We're in public, we'll enjoy dinner
"If you behave I'll teach how to hack the menu" "Oh, I'm not too good at that" --> she's naughty
We're all a little fucked up --> I'm a human being, just like you (I hope)

Some of the things there ^ I didn't mention from the dialogue. I don't remember every detail, but the overall and some small components I do.
My fundamentals were pretty good throughout the whole thing, although my clothing today was pretty damn mute. All my other clothes are dirty besides the last pieces of wardrobe I have on. My overall vibe was fairly devil may care and socially calibrated, somewhat sexual.

In a perfect world, I'll have two dates next week with both her and Catfish. Staying optimistic.

Hueman
 

Hue

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College Visit

What a weekend!

Spell broken motherfuckers

I had been craving to visit my old school. The bars, the women, the bros, I was feeling nostalgic and needed to go back.

I roll up, my fraternity dudes and I pregame at an annex, then head out to a pregame at these girls' house. Terrible ratio. I think like 50 dudes and 15 chicks, and all the girls were congregated in the kitchen. I recognize this and head in there, where most of my brothers I hadn't seen in a while are, getting facey with the women. I strike up conversation with a brunette and we're both visiting, she's from Wisco. We make small talk and then I ask if she's single, she just neutrally says "I am", soon after I grab her number and we part ways.

Then I leave and find my friend at the nicest bar in town. I make some friends with his brother's friends in his frat, then we leave to another bar where there's always more chicks. I blacked out a little right here, but I apparently got 3 different girls numbers. I don't remember any of the conversations to be honest, but I'm assuming they were similar to the first girl I talked to.

Then I decided since I'm 21 now, I should go to the bars I couldn't normally hit with my RI.

LR: My first MILF

I roll up to an older bar on campus at around 1:30. I grab myself a drink, then sit down near the center of the bar. It wasn't very crowded, probably only 20-30 people in the whole bar. I see this brunette, older looking with glasses, about a 7 to my right, talking with her friend. I look in her direction and use my peripheral to see if she's looking at me, and she is.

We lock eyes and both smile, and I stand up and say "If you're gonna flirt with me like that, you should say hi first" and she laughs.

I don't at all remember what happened exactly with the dialogue unfortunately, I was really drunk.
The sequence of events was I opened, talked with her friend, then went back to talking to her more exclusively. I'm sure I mentioned how I was visiting for the night and don't live here. The effect this has is it puts you right into the lover/one night stand category, and crumbles any shot of boyfriend territory. It's part of the reason that I love visiting my old school. I have the social proof, the preselection, the familiarity of the town and campus, and the lover frame.. perfect for seduction. The thing about this one though, was she didn't have any affiliation with the school, she just lived in the town.

All her friends were giving me very positive signals, kind of subtly encouraging my engagement with her. Once I started to focus on the brunette exclusively, I remember her getting warmer and warmer as the talk continued.
Conversation was just about to switch topics, and seeing how warm she was, I took her hand and said let's sit at a table.

We were sitting really close, and our legs were touching now. I had her explaining something about her life to me, and I just kept my warm, sexy vibe about me. Then, my favorite part, could not have been timed better, I did what Hector told me to do in our phone call.

Her: *almost finishing up her sentence about this thing in her life*
Me: *interrupting, mischievous smile* I wanna fuck the shit out of you so bad right now
Her: *excited, shocked* What??
Me: So you were saying that about your relationship with Starbucks, you're not affected by the greedy decisions those fuckers make, so naturally don't care?
Her: *growing smile, pause* Yeah, I just get to see it from my perspective

After this our faces kept shortening distance, and I began touching on her leg. Right after that, her friends come up and tell her they're leaving, and I just sit back with a warm, closed mouth smile on my face, looking at my soon to be lover, and panning over to her friend.

She tells her friend she's staying here, and the friend looks at me with a smile and says "okay great" (GREEEEEN LIIIGHT) then looks back at her friend, saying they'll talk later. From there I had total control of the situation.

She leaves, and so I just keep ramping sexual tension and getting close. Then say, "let's get the fuck out of here" and take her hand. I ask, "where's your car?" without much specification of what we were going to her car for (; and we walk down the block and get in it. For the record, this was stupid as fuck. Never drink and drive folks.
She drives us down to this little cove, not far from where she parked, as I told her to find somewhere a little more private for us.

We park, and I already had my hand on her leg, close to her pussy. I get my head very close to hers, and just breath, rubbing my nose and face against hers. She's getting so turned on, and starts breathing heavily, then kisses me. We make out for a bit then I pull back, telling her to get in the backseat.

We get in the back seat and throw ourselves at eachother, rubbing eachothers bodies and kicking out shoes off. I start kissing her neck and taking off her pants, and she moans, continuously breathing harder. I back up to take my shirt off, and she just starts ripping her clothes off. She want's to get fucked so bad. I put my condom on the middle console, and tell her to get on top of me now that we're both naked (Well, my pants and underwear were only half off, but, lol, fuck it). She starts grinding her pussy on my dick while I kiss and lick all around her tits. She's wet as fuck so I tell her to let me get the condom on. I through it on and she starts riding me cowgirl. After about 30 seconds of this, I dominate and start throwing her hips against mine, squeezing her ass, and she starts to curl over me, grabbing and scratching my back as I pound her. Then I move her on the seat to lay down, and attempt missionary. This was tough because of how little space we had, the positioning was quite awkward. After a few minutes of that it's too uncomfortable and I slip her into doggy and it worked best for what we had. My head was basically in contact with the roof of the car the whole time, but whatever, she's having a great time. It went from a more traditional doggy to me laying my body overtop hers and thrusting her body down with mine. Very dominating position, girls always moan the hardest when I do this. I fuck her like this for a while, and her head starts to bash against the door, so eventually I slow it down and switch to cowgirl, dirty talking her with this like "You love getting fucked, don't you?" and she'd respond with simple things like "Yes", so I'd tell her, "Say it", to get her saying things like "I love feeling your cock in me", "Keep fucking me" and things like that. We fuck for about 20 minutes before deciding that we should go to her house. Plus, kind of early on, my condom broke, and I was fucking her raw for a while (still a little sketched about this).

So, we decide to drive to her house, and keep fucking there. She had condoms there, and there's more space. Thing is, she's what people at my old school would call a towny. She's 26 and lives with her dad and 4 year old son. I had to sneak in and eventually out of her house, and we had to be much quieter than the car. We get there, she lights some candles, and I undress to my boxers in her room while she goes to the bathroom. When she comes back in, I grab her and push her to the wall, grabbing her ass and making out with her. After that I throw her on the bed, and lay over her, ripping her clothes off, and move into adapted missionary. I started slow, and the moved her to that her head is about 6 inches from the corner of the bed. Once things start picking up, I grab the mattress behind her head, and thrust it towards me in a proper timing as I thrust into her. It's kind of like a 1,2, like mattress pull, thrust into her, until you find the right rhythm. And if you end up trying this, believe me, you'll know when you've found it (;
We fuck like that for a while then I need a break so I roll over a bit, and she starts sucking me off. We do cowgirl again, this time I have way more control over thrusting her hips, because I can actually angle my legs correctly with the bed space. Ended up making her call me Daddy, which I understand is exciting for her, but I don't know how much I enjoy being called Daddy to be honest (Now, if the girl were Latina and calling me Papi, that'd be different). In a smooth and powerful transition, I throw her into missionary again on the other end of the bed, and she's looking with her head back in the mirror, watching us fuck. Then she makes the suggestion that we move, she wants to watch as we fuck forreal. I put her in doggy and now she's watching it, and we keep doing this, moving into the more dominating doggy I mentioned, and I fuck her tell she cums.

We take a break and cuddle, then end up rubbing eachother, then fucking again about 3 times. It wasn't until the morning (like 7~) that I came, and we came together in adapted missionary. The whole time at her house was from like 3 am - 7 am, probably like 2 hours of fucking. We were both exhausted by the end. What scared me was she said "I love you" a couple times, but then she'd switch it to "I love the way you fuck" "I love fucking you", hopefully as a correction. Turns out she was on a dry spell too, and we broke each other's spells haha.

Great fucking time, it's a shame I don't live there, she'd be a great fuck buddy.





The next day I spent mostly with the boys. We day drank, I got my flirt on with some of my friend's girlfriend's sorority sisters. One of the I've forgotten her name like 5 times, and it's a shame because she's both smart and beautiful. She was single last semester but has a boyfriend again, anyways. Unfortunately she's seen me do enough drunk shit when I still went to school with her I'm pretty damn ruled out, which negatively effects it with her roommates too. Oh well.

One of my old friends came to the bar I was to see me while in town, and a bunch of his coworkers were there. I started flirting with one of his friends, but he told me not to, can't remember why. It wasn't out of jealousy or anything but he made it sound like a bad idea. I pass out at his house a few hours later, then meet my old friend at his lil bro's fraternity house. There were some sexy ladies in the room I walked into, but they seemed lock down with some of frat members. They're all stoned and I can't blaze anymore, so I end up lone wolfing out to the bars.

I go to my favorite place, and there's two girls at a table. I sit down and start chatting with them. One of them is visiting from my school's football rival, and I used that to tease her a bit. The girls were both very warm and pretty cute so I tried to move us, but they said they had to stop home to fix their shoe that busted, then they'd meet me. I totally should have tried to come with them, because they never responded to my texts later.
I left to go to another bar, and struck out with some girls who's boyfriends were right there next to them.

Then I made eye contact with a red head, and used the "if you're gonna flirt with me like that..." and it worked.
We chat a bit and she hypes up when she finds out I'm only there for the night, and then asks me about Psychology so I turn it into something about sex, and how the brain, which I love to study, is actually the strongest sex organ, so I use that knowledge to make sex better. I fucked up here:
Me: something about sex organ brain shit
Her: Oh, and how is it?
Me: *skeptical look* It's... good, but
Her: *interrupting* Well it was nice meeting you Hueman I hope you have a good time with the rest of your visit
Me: *trying not to look thrown off* You too, something to try and keep the convo going
Her: *aloof*
I should have teased her like wouldn't you like to know? or sit over here with me and maybe I'll tell you a thing or too...

I move to another part of the bar with more dancing and start talking to some brunette, who's somewhat interested. Then her indian friend comes up and starts getting super touchy feely with me, but she was very drunk. She gave me a halfy, and I said "now look what you're doing to me, stop.. (; " and I move her over to a seat. She starts touching my leg, and my dick a little bit as we're sitting down and I'm fully hard now, and blame her both sexually and chase framing. She asks me if I want to make out. I say "I don't like making out at bars, because it distracts from some more fun things." "Like what" "Like the fact I wanna fuck your brains out right now and we're at a bar" and she gets super giddy and we start making out. I pulled back because she was too drunk, but I got her number, and she goes to my current school so I can probably fuck her in the near future. Then I brought her back to her friend, smirked and said, "you keep an eye on her, alright?" and left.

Then I went to that older bar again. I used to work at B dubs, and all my old coworkers are there. I was flirting with the bartender because she seemed more receptive than most other bartenders, and I didn't even realize we were old coworkers. I tried to steer the conversation to something about what she was doing after work and she had a boyfriend.


Great weekend, wonderful vibes all around.
 

Hue

Tribal Elder
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Self-Reassuring

When you're sick and your tired and your thirsty and you take that first bite or drink, you sip slow because truth is harsh and it burns, but it's also addictive you want more 'til you drink. more. water.
Water is a metaphor for truth.


I feel too self reassuring and I have been acting that way a lot of recent. Possibly because my ego was suffering from the dry spell.
That's gotta change.
What makes me feel this way? A couple things:


Revisiting my old school made me realize I'm a lot more candid with people out there than I am here. I've concluded this is because I feel I have more to lose here.

I felt I had nothing to lose there, and for a year straight essentially did whatever the fuck I wanted. It was awesome, but to a degree that was completely unsustainable. What I lacked was balance, direction and organization.
It's incredible I was never arrested or had my ass kicked. I went out 4 days a week, every week.
My priorities, in descending order were: Party, pussy, relationships, money, school, health.
I lived by impulse, never even attempting to slow down, only to run from the problem and transfer.
I'm more stable now, but the shift in polarization has somewhat strangled me.
Sure, I'm still me. I still party and do and say a lot of the same shit, but there.. it's different. I feel different.
Like a chameleon, I'm the same organism, but show different traits based on my environment.
There, I feel I hardly have a filter, I feel unafraid to be wrong, say what I feel needs to be said, and hardly ever put up with shit.
I feel a hell of a lot more real.

Coming to a new school / environment has turned up my fear, and made me choke my self control to stop the mistakes I was making in my old environment.
Fear is holding me back and making me hold onto my ego for comfort with where I am. This has brought me a lot of great things, but has also become a protective ignorance, inhibiting self improvement.

I have to partly thank Hector for this realization, because I wouldn't have woken up to the fact that I was self reassuring if it weren't for the GC instagram page on "whatshereallymeans" outlining my texts, and why a girl flaked, and what I was doing wrong. Too much wishful thinking is dangerous.
Also, I used his seduction advice, which helped me get a great fuck, which pulled my subconscious away from being overly protective.

Richard's post on existentialism also made me begin to wake up, because as I explained some of my philosophical beliefs, I realized there were many incomplete ideas and holes in my reasoning. I only posted what I felt was more concrete, and even then I've found cracks through rereading it.


Moving on from the negatives, and onto progress:


I'm really desiring to grasp and internalize a lot of the "why" that is taught on GC. Pretty Decent mentioned that in that big ass post about not grasping Chase's advice, "if you understand the 'why' behind the techniques, you can make 4 techniques from that", I think it was.
More than just in seduction though. In navigating social dynamics, self respect, and gaining knowledge.
I want to understand why life (or at least the aspects of life in my reach/capacity) is how it is, internalize it, and use it.

I know I said I would stop using this journal as more of a personal diary, but I consider this outline of thought to be part of progress and growth. I have a feeling I will enjoy reading it in the future and remembering when I was stuck in some of my ways.

I have to be up early as a motherfucker tomorrow, and need the sleep to go through my day tomorrow (I have 3 classes and a date with Catfish), but #1 thing on my to-do list:

Sit my ass down, and write out the qualities I think I might have. Then, write out what internal and external examples backing those things up. Meditate. Then plan ways to turn weaknesses into strengths, and innovate my strengths for optimal use

Relearn being fearless, just not a fearless idiot


Hue
 
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