Manhattan Solo DG

[bkw]

Update:

I’m probably not going to get into OLD (online dating). DG is a little too obsessive for me. I really, really, really want to get my shit together with DG. My main focus is on D2s (first dates).

Basically, my current goal is to aim for 2 D2s a week, consistently. For me, this will be challenging. It’s good to have stats, and based on the stats I kept in 2016 and 2017 it took me roughly 20 approaches to get a new D2. So if im to go off these stats then I can try to aim for 40+ approaches a week. That’s a lot for me, and adding dates on top of that will be tricky. I figure 2 new D2s a week, every week, will give me all the insights I need as far as D2s and will help me diagnose things in detail, as I do keep record of everything in an excel sheet. I love doing that. It’s actually very handy.

so, right now I’m failing on my weekly approach count. Last couple days I’ve stopped walking around so much and been waiting at busy places for girls to walk by. This saves me energy and it helps me focus on girls who walk by, which actually helps me approach more. I still need to up my approaches.

basically, it doesn’t really matter my past and how much approaches I’ve done. I realize there actually is ego there that needs to die (rightfully so). I feel like im starting over, and that’s OK. It’s been years since I really got serious about it, but my momentum is basically where it needs to be. I just need to keep upping my approaches for now. My ratios aren’t great right now but that’s OK. Weekly approach count first and foremost.

I would absolutely LOVE to get more consistent dates a week, like 2 or more. This would give me extremely valuable insights into so much. The only way to achieve this is to approach more for now. I need to up the weekly approach counts

I’ll keep posted

 

[bkw]

Update

I had a few days off recently due to getting sick, but I keep going out. I'm not posting much, mostly because it's just been a grind and nothing exciting has happened. Been struggling with approach count goals. It's very nuanced, and it's something I have to really focus on while out (constantly working on every day). Regardless, I remain highly motivated to keep going out. Likely won't post much unless there is something noticeably improved from where I'm currently at, and I want to share it.

Other than that, I've gotten back heavily into pickup material online and podcasts, reading, etc., mainly because it's what I'm interested in again, not necessarily because I'm learning anything revolutionary.

Yup. That's about it. Not much to report, so I'll leave it there until next time, I guess....

 

[bkw]

DG/Guttergame - 10 approaches, 3 #closes

I really needed this, and not because I'm desperate, but because I gained a lot of good insights today, which I want to share here.

As I've mentioned in my last post, I've been consuming a lot of daygame material lately. There have been a few things that really stuck out to me, and that's basically how every city is apparently "different" when it comes to feel, expectations, dating, etc., and all this relates to daygame. Yes, if your game is very good, it likely won't affect you too much, BUT... there is some truth to this I think, which is pretty interesting. Let me explain...

First, from what I hear from guys who daygame internationally and have been to many cities/countries, is that NYC is a "harder" city to do daygame. Why? Because the energy is exhausting here. People are always rushing; busy. It's not like a laid-back city where people are casual walking about enjoying the ambience. No. Here it's hustle, bustle, busy, and that's exhausting. You got to go in strong during these times. You can't pussy-foot around. The conviction has to be there. And to even get there mentally where you feel confident enough to go into girls speeding down the sidewalk confidently, this can be challenging in itself. Yes, when you become accustomed to NYC and the city, it can be easier, but from what I hear from others, daygame here is not beginner-friendly.

Also, another thing I have gathered from guys who internationally daygame in many cities/countries, is that NYC's dating culture is also fast -- it's different from, say, far East like Russia, etc., where girls tend to date slower (more second dates, third dates, etc.). Listen to enough podcasts from Tom Torero and other guys like him, and they all will say the same thing. The girls far East will stop easier, and even give out numbers easier as a result of this, but lays can be harder due to the "slower" culture. This is important to understand, and it's not something I gave much thought into because all I've known is NYC -- I've never traveled these other places, so I can only take what other daygamers there say, and apparently things are different.

Anyway, I was going to write how I've been struggling to find girls I'm into to approach while out, and this is fucking true, but tonight I went out a little later on a Friday. I was out around 7:30PM and what I noticed was when I started to approach the girls stopped way more, and they gave me more of their time. And I think a lot of this has to do with them not so busy during the night. It's something so fucking simple, but yet, I guess I didn't really appreciate how fucking good it can be when girls aren't rushing all over the place during the day.

Anyway, so like I just went on a mini-tear because there were finally girls out looking nice, and they were stopping, and I was feeling good, so I just kept going. Quickly I number-closed 3 girls. Great conversations. Great hooks. Like, all this fucking hustle/bustle of the city just vanished when girls actually are out casually. It makes me want to only approach during this time, or even try nightgame. FYI: "Guttergame" is basically when you approach outside of bars at night doing daygame basically. And this is kind of what I was doing. Although, I was going into some stores and approaching there as well.

So, basically, the biggest lesson here is that MY CHANCES GO UP SO MUCH WHEN THE GIRLS AREN'T FUCKING BUSY -- like, DUUUH. So I should take advantage of this. I should be approaching at places where girls are doing casual things. I should be approaching AFTER work. I should be approaching in PARKS. Stores. Libraries, etc. These places are where girls go when they AREN'T BUSY. Instead, I've been sticking to the street during busy times, like no fucking wonder it's been more challenging. Also, weekend nights are GREAT because girls are out to BE SOCIAL -- another no-brainer here, but it really hit home tonight.

With all that said, hopefully I'll remember to keep this shit in mind. Because of this, I think I'm going to do more guttergame, after work game, I'm going to start approaching in bars, parks, stores, etc... basically, anywhere that girls aren't that busy... but mostly I want to focus on more weekend bar/night stuff.

I said "I needed this" because I needed to show myself my "skills" in conversation/leading etc. aren't lacking as much as I thought. Instead, what is happening to me is that I'm literally not in enough fucking sets when I'm out, and then I look at the 1, 2, 3 or whatever approaches and think "oh, I suck". Naw dude. I just need more fucking sets. If I could approach 10 every session I would again prove to myself how much variation I will get as far as girls who hook, who don't hook, sets that go well, go bad... I need to approach more per outing to see this variance! It's super, super, super important. Nightgame is great for this because you have so many girls to talk to in a short amount of time, you can see this variance in action! Whereas, lately, with daygame here in Manhattan, I'm not seeing enough girls to approach quick enough, and it's just getting me in my head and exhausting me, so I need a more constant flow of opportunities. This is another reason why I'm considering more night/after work approaches, especially on weekends.

RECAP LESSONS:

1. It's so important to approach in large volume per session to see variance (the good and bad)
2. Your chances go way up when the girls are out casually/socially
3. Take advantage of opportunities where girls are out casually/socially (parks, libraries, shopping, bars/clubs, guttergame, after work, etc.)

I recorded all my approaches tonight via audio, so this is great.

 

[AspiringStoic]

DG/Guttergame - 10 approaches, 3 #closes

I really needed this, and not because I'm desperate, but because I gained a lot of good insights today, which I want to share here.

As I've mentioned in my last post, I've been consuming a lot of daygame material lately. There have been a few things that really stuck out to me, and that's basically how every city is apparently "different" when it comes to feel, expectations, dating, etc., and all this relates to daygame. Yes, if your game is very good, it likely won't affect you too much, BUT... there is some truth to this I think, which is pretty interesting. Let me explain...

First, from what I hear from guys who daygame internationally and have been to many cities/countries, is that NYC is a "harder" city to do daygame. Why? Because the energy is exhausting here. People are always rushing; busy. It's not like a laid-back city where people are casual walking about enjoying the ambience. No. Here it's hustle, bustle, busy, and that's exhausting. You got to go in strong during these times. You can't pussy-foot around. The conviction has to be there. And to even get there mentally where you feel confident enough to go into girls speeding down the sidewalk confidently, this can be challenging in itself. Yes, when you become accustomed to NYC and the city, it can be easier, but from what I hear from others, daygame here is not beginner-friendly.

Also, another thing I have gathered from guys who internationally daygame in many cities/countries, is that NYC's dating culture is also fast -- it's different from, say, far East like Russia, etc., where girls tend to date slower (more second dates, third dates, etc.). Listen to enough podcasts from Tom Torero and other guys like him, and they all will say the same thing. The girls far East will stop easier, and even give out numbers easier as a result of this, but lays can be harder due to the "slower" culture. This is important to understand, and it's not something I gave much thought into because all I've known is NYC -- I've never traveled these other places, so I can only take what other daygamers there say, and apparently things are different.

Anyway, I was going to write how I've been struggling to find girls I'm into to approach while out, and this is fucking true, but tonight I went out a little later on a Friday. I was out around 7:30PM and what I noticed was when I started to approach the girls stopped way more, and they gave me more of their time. And I think a lot of this has to do with them not so busy during the night. It's something so fucking simple, but yet, I guess I didn't really appreciate how fucking good it can be when girls aren't rushing all over the place during the day.

Anyway, so like I just went on a mini-tear because there were finally girls out looking nice, and they were stopping, and I was feeling good, so I just kept going. Quickly I number-closed 3 girls. Great conversations. Great hooks. Like, all this fucking hustle/bustle of the city just vanished when girls actually are out casually. It makes me want to only approach during this time, or even try nightgame. FYI: "Guttergame" is basically when you approach outside of bars at night doing daygame basically. And this is kind of what I was doing. Although, I was going into some stores and approaching there as well.

So, basically, the biggest lesson here is that MY CHANCES GO UP SO MUCH WHEN THE GIRLS AREN'T FUCKING BUSY -- like, DUUUH. So I should take advantage of this. I should be approaching at places where girls are doing casual things. I should be approaching AFTER work. I should be approaching in PARKS. Stores. Libraries, etc. These places are where girls go when they AREN'T BUSY. Instead, I've been sticking to the street during busy times, like no fucking wonder it's been more challenging. Also, weekend nights are GREAT because girls are out to BE SOCIAL -- another no-brainer here, but it really hit home tonight.

With all that said, hopefully I'll remember to keep this shit in mind. Because of this, I think I'm going to do more guttergame, after work game, I'm going to start approaching in bars, parks, stores, etc... basically, anywhere that girls aren't that busy... but mostly I want to focus on more weekend bar/night stuff.

I said "I needed this" because I needed to show myself my "skills" in conversation/leading etc. aren't lacking as much as I thought. Instead, what is happening to me is that I'm literally not in enough fucking sets when I'm out, and then I look at the 1, 2, 3 or whatever approaches and think "oh, I suck". Naw dude. I just need more fucking sets. If I could approach 10 every session I would again prove to myself how much variation I will get as far as girls who hook, who don't hook, sets that go well, go bad... I need to approach more per outing to see this variance! It's super, super, super important. Nightgame is great for this because you have so many girls to talk to in a short amount of time, you can see this variance in action! Whereas, lately, with daygame here in Manhattan, I'm not seeing enough girls to approach quick enough, and it's just getting me in my head and exhausting me, so I need a more constant flow of opportunities. This is another reason why I'm considering more night/after work approaches, especially on weekends.

RECAP LESSONS:

1. It's so important to approach in large volume per session to see variance (the good and bad)
2. Your chances go way up when the girls are out casually/socially
3. Take advantage of opportunities where girls are out casually/socially (parks, libraries, shopping, bars/clubs, guttergame, after work, etc.)

I recorded all my approaches tonight via audio, so this is great.

I had a friend who lived in NYC for years. He never did a street stop. Just stuck to opening stationary girls in groccery stores, bus stops, parks, girls waiting in the underground. He told me, he could get in 30+ approaches a week just from these kind of stationary girls.

He was having great success. A date every week and once he got good, a lay every month. He said NYC is truly an amazing place to be a seducer just because of the volume of girls available to seduce. You never run out of girls.

I think for some reason the traditional daygame guys are too focused on the 'street stop'. So when we consume daygame stuff, we get this tunnel vision and only think about stopping girls walking down the street.

This guy I am talking about was not amazing in anyway. He just followed this rule of "everyday I just compliment 5 girls." Thats all he literally did!!

He would compliment them and see how they reacted, if they just summarily thanked him and put their earphones back on, or looked away, he would just wish them a good day and leave it at that. If they smiled and their eyes lit up, he would continue and have a conversation.

If the convo lasted more than 2 minutes, he would invite them out for a coffee or drink and take their number. Then text them, get them on dates and then just escalate from there.

Apart from this simple structure, it really all was a numbers game from there. All based on probabilities.

30 -35 girls spoken to in a week.
15-20 hooks and conversations.
5-8 numbers.
1-2 dates per week.
1 lay for every 4-6 dates.

I met him in 2018-19 when I had just heard about daygame and pickup. He came to my city and I saw him game and it literally re-defined daygame for me.

I had also only known and seen daygame as street stops, strong opens, front stops, trying to hook girls, persistence etc. This guy was basically fully invisible. Nobody would even realize he was doing daygame. It was all so low key and simple.

Looking back now, I realized he had a few qualities that made him great at this while people like me still struggled.

-He was a very simple guy. Not an over thinker or deep thinker.

- He was not a guy who intellectualized things.

- He did not even have the patience to read and consume pickup material. He had just read some short e-book and had gone out and started doing this.

- He however was CONSISTENT AS FUCK!! Doing those 5 compliments were like showering for him. He just did them everyday regardless of anything else.

- He just had a smile and a generally jovial attitude and he kept that in all his interactions. No real amazing game but just generally a pure kind of positive energy.

- Somehow because of his lack of overthinking, he had this long term kind of thinking that as long as he kept doing his 5 compliments, things would work out over time and they did!

- On dates again, he did not think much, he was not a great conversationalist, but he always made a "move" with touching and this played a massive role in escalating things sexually.

He used this same system in NYC for 7-8 years and then moved to Finland and did the same thing there as well with similar results. He is now married and exited the game, but we still talk sometimes.

Whenever I get too in my head about game, I think back to him and realize how simple all this can be and how complicated sometimes we make all this in our heads.

Writing this out was good and it kind of again reminded me of how simple it can be. Hope its helpful to you too. And yeah maybe you can ditch street stops for a while and explore stationary girls a bit more.

Let me know if this helps and if you try some of these alternative avenues out. Good luck!

 

[bkw]

I had a friend who lived in NYC for years. He never did a street stop. Just stuck to opening stationary girls in groccery stores, bus stops, parks, girls waiting in the underground. He told me, he could get in 30+ approaches a week just from these kind of stationary girls.

He was having great success. A date every week and once he got good, a lay every month. He said NYC is truly an amazing place to be a seducer just because of the volume of girls available to seduce. You never run out of girls.

I think for some reason the traditional daygame guys are too focused on the 'street stop'. So when we consume daygame stuff, we get this tunnel vision and only think about stopping girls walking down the street.

This guy I am talking about was not amazing in anyway. He just followed this rule of "everyday I just compliment 5 girls." Thats all he literally did!!

He would compliment them and see how they reacted, if they just summarily thanked him and put their earphones back on, or looked away, he would just wish them a good day and leave it at that. If they smiled and their eyes lit up, he would continue and have a conversation.

If the convo lasted more than 2 minutes, he would invite them out for a coffee or drink and take their number. Then text them, get them on dates and then just escalate from there.

Apart from this simple structure, it really all was a numbers game from there. All based on probabilities.

30 -35 girls spoken to in a week.
15-20 hooks and conversations.
5-8 numbers.
1-2 dates per week.
1 lay for every 4-6 dates.

I met him in 2018-19 when I had just heard about daygame and pickup. He came to my city and I saw him game and it literally re-defined daygame for me.

I had also only known and seen daygame as street stops, strong opens, front stops, trying to hook girls, persistence etc. This guy was basically fully invisible. Nobody would even realize he was doing daygame. It was all so low key and simple.

Looking back now, I realized he had a few qualities that made him great at this while people like me still struggled.

-He was a very simple guy. Not an over thinker or deep thinker.

- He was not a guy who intellectualized things.

- He did not even have the patience to read and consume pickup material. He had just read some short e-book and had gone out and started doing this.

- He however was CONSISTENT AS FUCK!! Doing those 5 compliments were like showering for him. He just did them everyday regardless of anything else.

- He just had a smile and a generally jovial attitude and he kept that in all his interactions. No real amazing game but just generally a pure kind of positive energy.

- Somehow because of his lack of overthinking, he had this long term kind of thinking that as long as he kept doing his 5 compliments, things would work out over time and they did!

- On dates again, he did not think much, he was not a great conversationalist, but he always made a "move" with touching and this played a massive role in escalating things sexually.

He used this same system in NYC for 7-8 years and then moved to Finland and did the same thing there as well with similar results. He is now married and exited the game, but we still talk sometimes.

Whenever I get too in my head about game, I think back to him and realize how simple all this can be and how complicated sometimes we make all this in our heads.

Writing this out was good and it kind of again reminded me of how simple it can be. Hope its helpful to you too. And yeah maybe you can ditch street stops for a while and explore stationary girls a bit more.

Let me know if this helps and if you try some of these alternative avenues out. Good luck!

These were similar to the stats I used to get here as well in the past, so I believe this. You actually remember the stats he told you? Impressive.

Yeah, I've been primarily focused on street stops, or just seeing girls walking about lately. As big of a city as NYC is, in Manhattan I've been actually struggling to find girls I'd like to approach walking the streets, which is wild, and when I do, it's so far and in-between that my momentum and energy and therefore my willpower is shot. As I've mentioned, it's important I keep track of "girls I don't approach" or pass up while out because I can look back and see there are opportunities, even if far and in-between. But yeah, the combination of the street and not seeing as many opportunities I'd like, or at least within a time when I don't lose focus, has been the biggest challenge for me lately.

So what you say about these other situations your friend would find these girls, I think there definitely is something to that. I think the streets will get better as the weather warms up, but I agree I should try these other places more and see what I can do.

I do feel it's extremely important to get a good amount of approaches in per outing for the variance purposes I spoke of in my last post. I've been doubting myself lately, and a lot of it is because I haven't been in enough sets and seeing this variance in real-time.

Anyway, I could go on and on... thanks for your post man

 

[AspiringStoic]

These were similar to the stats I used to get here as well in the past, so I believe this. You actually remember the stats he told you? Impressive.

I just spoke to him in January when I was having a bit of a rough spell so it was not that long ago.

As big of a city as NYC is, in Manhattan I've been actually struggling to find girls I'd like to approach walking the streets, which is wild, and when I do, it's so far and in-between that my momentum

Well, here is the important bit that he always pounds into me whenever we speak.

To him, the 5 compliments were non negotiable. It did not matter whatever happened, you just had to give out 5 compliments every day. If you don't find attractive girls, you compliment shoes, coat, scarf, jacket of any woman regardless of how she looks like.

Because its not about the girl, its about you breaking through that barrier 5 times every single day and giving out that compliment. And you are more warmed up when you meet the genuinely attractive girl if you have already complimented 3 other women regardless of their looks.

And even on a macro scale you see two hotties on Thursday and you have given out 5 compliments everyday from Monday-Wednesday, you are going to be way more smooth with the hotties on Thursday.

I also struggle with this "not finding suitable girls" excuse from time to time but I try to reframe it as me going to the gym. I may not get my favorite dumb bells but I am going to put my reps in with whichever dumbell is free that day at the gym. Same way, I am opening whichever girls I can find that day.

And another big thing of his was that if you had to compliment 5 women no matter what, then it flips your thinking.

Instead of disqualifying girls you see by saying too young, too tall, too skinny etc, you start looking at every girl going what can I compliment her about because I have to hit my goal of 5 compliments. Huge switch in thinking.