Manhattan Solo DG

[bkw]

Update:

I’m probably not going to get into OLD (online dating). DG is a little too obsessive for me. I really, really, really want to get my shit together with DG. My main focus is on D2s (first dates).

Basically, my current goal is to aim for 2 D2s a week, consistently. For me, this will be challenging. It’s good to have stats, and based on the stats I kept in 2016 and 2017 it took me roughly 20 approaches to get a new D2. So if im to go off these stats then I can try to aim for 40+ approaches a week. That’s a lot for me, and adding dates on top of that will be tricky. I figure 2 new D2s a week, every week, will give me all the insights I need as far as D2s and will help me diagnose things in detail, as I do keep record of everything in an excel sheet. I love doing that. It’s actually very handy.

so, right now I’m failing on my weekly approach count. Last couple days I’ve stopped walking around so much and been waiting at busy places for girls to walk by. This saves me energy and it helps me focus on girls who walk by, which actually helps me approach more. I still need to up my approaches.

basically, it doesn’t really matter my past and how much approaches I’ve done. I realize there actually is ego there that needs to die (rightfully so). I feel like im starting over, and that’s OK. It’s been years since I really got serious about it, but my momentum is basically where it needs to be. I just need to keep upping my approaches for now. My ratios aren’t great right now but that’s OK. Weekly approach count first and foremost.

I would absolutely LOVE to get more consistent dates a week, like 2 or more. This would give me extremely valuable insights into so much. The only way to achieve this is to approach more for now. I need to up the weekly approach counts

I’ll keep posted

 

[bkw]

Update

I had a few days off recently due to getting sick, but I keep going out. I'm not posting much, mostly because it's just been a grind and nothing exciting has happened. Been struggling with approach count goals. It's very nuanced, and it's something I have to really focus on while out (constantly working on every day). Regardless, I remain highly motivated to keep going out. Likely won't post much unless there is something noticeably improved from where I'm currently at, and I want to share it.

Other than that, I've gotten back heavily into pickup material online and podcasts, reading, etc., mainly because it's what I'm interested in again, not necessarily because I'm learning anything revolutionary.

Yup. That's about it. Not much to report, so I'll leave it there until next time, I guess....

 

[bkw]

DG/Guttergame - 10 approaches, 3 #closes

I really needed this, and not because I'm desperate, but because I gained a lot of good insights today, which I want to share here.

As I've mentioned in my last post, I've been consuming a lot of daygame material lately. There have been a few things that really stuck out to me, and that's basically how every city is apparently "different" when it comes to feel, expectations, dating, etc., and all this relates to daygame. Yes, if your game is very good, it likely won't affect you too much, BUT... there is some truth to this I think, which is pretty interesting. Let me explain...

First, from what I hear from guys who daygame internationally and have been to many cities/countries, is that NYC is a "harder" city to do daygame. Why? Because the energy is exhausting here. People are always rushing; busy. It's not like a laid-back city where people are casual walking about enjoying the ambience. No. Here it's hustle, bustle, busy, and that's exhausting. You got to go in strong during these times. You can't pussy-foot around. The conviction has to be there. And to even get there mentally where you feel confident enough to go into girls speeding down the sidewalk confidently, this can be challenging in itself. Yes, when you become accustomed to NYC and the city, it can be easier, but from what I hear from others, daygame here is not beginner-friendly.

Also, another thing I have gathered from guys who internationally daygame in many cities/countries, is that NYC's dating culture is also fast -- it's different from, say, far East like Russia, etc., where girls tend to date slower (more second dates, third dates, etc.). Listen to enough podcasts from Tom Torero and other guys like him, and they all will say the same thing. The girls far East will stop easier, and even give out numbers easier as a result of this, but lays can be harder due to the "slower" culture. This is important to understand, and it's not something I gave much thought into because all I've known is NYC -- I've never traveled these other places, so I can only take what other daygamers there say, and apparently things are different.

Anyway, I was going to write how I've been struggling to find girls I'm into to approach while out, and this is fucking true, but tonight I went out a little later on a Friday. I was out around 7:30PM and what I noticed was when I started to approach the girls stopped way more, and they gave me more of their time. And I think a lot of this has to do with them not so busy during the night. It's something so fucking simple, but yet, I guess I didn't really appreciate how fucking good it can be when girls aren't rushing all over the place during the day.

Anyway, so like I just went on a mini-tear because there were finally girls out looking nice, and they were stopping, and I was feeling good, so I just kept going. Quickly I number-closed 3 girls. Great conversations. Great hooks. Like, all this fucking hustle/bustle of the city just vanished when girls actually are out casually. It makes me want to only approach during this time, or even try nightgame. FYI: "Guttergame" is basically when you approach outside of bars at night doing daygame basically. And this is kind of what I was doing. Although, I was going into some stores and approaching there as well.

So, basically, the biggest lesson here is that MY CHANCES GO UP SO MUCH WHEN THE GIRLS AREN'T FUCKING BUSY -- like, DUUUH. So I should take advantage of this. I should be approaching at places where girls are doing casual things. I should be approaching AFTER work. I should be approaching in PARKS. Stores. Libraries, etc. These places are where girls go when they AREN'T BUSY. Instead, I've been sticking to the street during busy times, like no fucking wonder it's been more challenging. Also, weekend nights are GREAT because girls are out to BE SOCIAL -- another no-brainer here, but it really hit home tonight.

With all that said, hopefully I'll remember to keep this shit in mind. Because of this, I think I'm going to do more guttergame, after work game, I'm going to start approaching in bars, parks, stores, etc... basically, anywhere that girls aren't that busy... but mostly I want to focus on more weekend bar/night stuff.

I said "I needed this" because I needed to show myself my "skills" in conversation/leading etc. aren't lacking as much as I thought. Instead, what is happening to me is that I'm literally not in enough fucking sets when I'm out, and then I look at the 1, 2, 3 or whatever approaches and think "oh, I suck". Naw dude. I just need more fucking sets. If I could approach 10 every session I would again prove to myself how much variation I will get as far as girls who hook, who don't hook, sets that go well, go bad... I need to approach more per outing to see this variance! It's super, super, super important. Nightgame is great for this because you have so many girls to talk to in a short amount of time, you can see this variance in action! Whereas, lately, with daygame here in Manhattan, I'm not seeing enough girls to approach quick enough, and it's just getting me in my head and exhausting me, so I need a more constant flow of opportunities. This is another reason why I'm considering more night/after work approaches, especially on weekends.

RECAP LESSONS:

1. It's so important to approach in large volume per session to see variance (the good and bad)
2. Your chances go way up when the girls are out casually/socially
3. Take advantage of opportunities where girls are out casually/socially (parks, libraries, shopping, bars/clubs, guttergame, after work, etc.)

I recorded all my approaches tonight via audio, so this is great.

 

[AspiringStoic]

DG/Guttergame - 10 approaches, 3 #closes

I really needed this, and not because I'm desperate, but because I gained a lot of good insights today, which I want to share here.

As I've mentioned in my last post, I've been consuming a lot of daygame material lately. There have been a few things that really stuck out to me, and that's basically how every city is apparently "different" when it comes to feel, expectations, dating, etc., and all this relates to daygame. Yes, if your game is very good, it likely won't affect you too much, BUT... there is some truth to this I think, which is pretty interesting. Let me explain...

First, from what I hear from guys who daygame internationally and have been to many cities/countries, is that NYC is a "harder" city to do daygame. Why? Because the energy is exhausting here. People are always rushing; busy. It's not like a laid-back city where people are casual walking about enjoying the ambience. No. Here it's hustle, bustle, busy, and that's exhausting. You got to go in strong during these times. You can't pussy-foot around. The conviction has to be there. And to even get there mentally where you feel confident enough to go into girls speeding down the sidewalk confidently, this can be challenging in itself. Yes, when you become accustomed to NYC and the city, it can be easier, but from what I hear from others, daygame here is not beginner-friendly.

Also, another thing I have gathered from guys who internationally daygame in many cities/countries, is that NYC's dating culture is also fast -- it's different from, say, far East like Russia, etc., where girls tend to date slower (more second dates, third dates, etc.). Listen to enough podcasts from Tom Torero and other guys like him, and they all will say the same thing. The girls far East will stop easier, and even give out numbers easier as a result of this, but lays can be harder due to the "slower" culture. This is important to understand, and it's not something I gave much thought into because all I've known is NYC -- I've never traveled these other places, so I can only take what other daygamers there say, and apparently things are different.

Anyway, I was going to write how I've been struggling to find girls I'm into to approach while out, and this is fucking true, but tonight I went out a little later on a Friday. I was out around 7:30PM and what I noticed was when I started to approach the girls stopped way more, and they gave me more of their time. And I think a lot of this has to do with them not so busy during the night. It's something so fucking simple, but yet, I guess I didn't really appreciate how fucking good it can be when girls aren't rushing all over the place during the day.

Anyway, so like I just went on a mini-tear because there were finally girls out looking nice, and they were stopping, and I was feeling good, so I just kept going. Quickly I number-closed 3 girls. Great conversations. Great hooks. Like, all this fucking hustle/bustle of the city just vanished when girls actually are out casually. It makes me want to only approach during this time, or even try nightgame. FYI: "Guttergame" is basically when you approach outside of bars at night doing daygame basically. And this is kind of what I was doing. Although, I was going into some stores and approaching there as well.

So, basically, the biggest lesson here is that MY CHANCES GO UP SO MUCH WHEN THE GIRLS AREN'T FUCKING BUSY -- like, DUUUH. So I should take advantage of this. I should be approaching at places where girls are doing casual things. I should be approaching AFTER work. I should be approaching in PARKS. Stores. Libraries, etc. These places are where girls go when they AREN'T BUSY. Instead, I've been sticking to the street during busy times, like no fucking wonder it's been more challenging. Also, weekend nights are GREAT because girls are out to BE SOCIAL -- another no-brainer here, but it really hit home tonight.

With all that said, hopefully I'll remember to keep this shit in mind. Because of this, I think I'm going to do more guttergame, after work game, I'm going to start approaching in bars, parks, stores, etc... basically, anywhere that girls aren't that busy... but mostly I want to focus on more weekend bar/night stuff.

I said "I needed this" because I needed to show myself my "skills" in conversation/leading etc. aren't lacking as much as I thought. Instead, what is happening to me is that I'm literally not in enough fucking sets when I'm out, and then I look at the 1, 2, 3 or whatever approaches and think "oh, I suck". Naw dude. I just need more fucking sets. If I could approach 10 every session I would again prove to myself how much variation I will get as far as girls who hook, who don't hook, sets that go well, go bad... I need to approach more per outing to see this variance! It's super, super, super important. Nightgame is great for this because you have so many girls to talk to in a short amount of time, you can see this variance in action! Whereas, lately, with daygame here in Manhattan, I'm not seeing enough girls to approach quick enough, and it's just getting me in my head and exhausting me, so I need a more constant flow of opportunities. This is another reason why I'm considering more night/after work approaches, especially on weekends.

RECAP LESSONS:

1. It's so important to approach in large volume per session to see variance (the good and bad)
2. Your chances go way up when the girls are out casually/socially
3. Take advantage of opportunities where girls are out casually/socially (parks, libraries, shopping, bars/clubs, guttergame, after work, etc.)

I recorded all my approaches tonight via audio, so this is great.

I had a friend who lived in NYC for years. He never did a street stop. Just stuck to opening stationary girls in groccery stores, bus stops, parks, girls waiting in the underground. He told me, he could get in 30+ approaches a week just from these kind of stationary girls.

He was having great success. A date every week and once he got good, a lay every month. He said NYC is truly an amazing place to be a seducer just because of the volume of girls available to seduce. You never run out of girls.

I think for some reason the traditional daygame guys are too focused on the 'street stop'. So when we consume daygame stuff, we get this tunnel vision and only think about stopping girls walking down the street.

This guy I am talking about was not amazing in anyway. He just followed this rule of "everyday I just compliment 5 girls." Thats all he literally did!!

He would compliment them and see how they reacted, if they just summarily thanked him and put their earphones back on, or looked away, he would just wish them a good day and leave it at that. If they smiled and their eyes lit up, he would continue and have a conversation.

If the convo lasted more than 2 minutes, he would invite them out for a coffee or drink and take their number. Then text them, get them on dates and then just escalate from there.

Apart from this simple structure, it really all was a numbers game from there. All based on probabilities.

30 -35 girls spoken to in a week.
15-20 hooks and conversations.
5-8 numbers.
1-2 dates per week.
1 lay for every 4-6 dates.

I met him in 2018-19 when I had just heard about daygame and pickup. He came to my city and I saw him game and it literally re-defined daygame for me.

I had also only known and seen daygame as street stops, strong opens, front stops, trying to hook girls, persistence etc. This guy was basically fully invisible. Nobody would even realize he was doing daygame. It was all so low key and simple.

Looking back now, I realized he had a few qualities that made him great at this while people like me still struggled.

-He was a very simple guy. Not an over thinker or deep thinker.

- He was not a guy who intellectualized things.

- He did not even have the patience to read and consume pickup material. He had just read some short e-book and had gone out and started doing this.

- He however was CONSISTENT AS FUCK!! Doing those 5 compliments were like showering for him. He just did them everyday regardless of anything else.

- He just had a smile and a generally jovial attitude and he kept that in all his interactions. No real amazing game but just generally a pure kind of positive energy.

- Somehow because of his lack of overthinking, he had this long term kind of thinking that as long as he kept doing his 5 compliments, things would work out over time and they did!

- On dates again, he did not think much, he was not a great conversationalist, but he always made a "move" with touching and this played a massive role in escalating things sexually.

He used this same system in NYC for 7-8 years and then moved to Finland and did the same thing there as well with similar results. He is now married and exited the game, but we still talk sometimes.

Whenever I get too in my head about game, I think back to him and realize how simple all this can be and how complicated sometimes we make all this in our heads.

Writing this out was good and it kind of again reminded me of how simple it can be. Hope its helpful to you too. And yeah maybe you can ditch street stops for a while and explore stationary girls a bit more.

Let me know if this helps and if you try some of these alternative avenues out. Good luck!

 

[bkw]

I had a friend who lived in NYC for years. He never did a street stop. Just stuck to opening stationary girls in groccery stores, bus stops, parks, girls waiting in the underground. He told me, he could get in 30+ approaches a week just from these kind of stationary girls.

He was having great success. A date every week and once he got good, a lay every month. He said NYC is truly an amazing place to be a seducer just because of the volume of girls available to seduce. You never run out of girls.

I think for some reason the traditional daygame guys are too focused on the 'street stop'. So when we consume daygame stuff, we get this tunnel vision and only think about stopping girls walking down the street.

This guy I am talking about was not amazing in anyway. He just followed this rule of "everyday I just compliment 5 girls." Thats all he literally did!!

He would compliment them and see how they reacted, if they just summarily thanked him and put their earphones back on, or looked away, he would just wish them a good day and leave it at that. If they smiled and their eyes lit up, he would continue and have a conversation.

If the convo lasted more than 2 minutes, he would invite them out for a coffee or drink and take their number. Then text them, get them on dates and then just escalate from there.

Apart from this simple structure, it really all was a numbers game from there. All based on probabilities.

30 -35 girls spoken to in a week.
15-20 hooks and conversations.
5-8 numbers.
1-2 dates per week.
1 lay for every 4-6 dates.

I met him in 2018-19 when I had just heard about daygame and pickup. He came to my city and I saw him game and it literally re-defined daygame for me.

I had also only known and seen daygame as street stops, strong opens, front stops, trying to hook girls, persistence etc. This guy was basically fully invisible. Nobody would even realize he was doing daygame. It was all so low key and simple.

Looking back now, I realized he had a few qualities that made him great at this while people like me still struggled.

-He was a very simple guy. Not an over thinker or deep thinker.

- He was not a guy who intellectualized things.

- He did not even have the patience to read and consume pickup material. He had just read some short e-book and had gone out and started doing this.

- He however was CONSISTENT AS FUCK!! Doing those 5 compliments were like showering for him. He just did them everyday regardless of anything else.

- He just had a smile and a generally jovial attitude and he kept that in all his interactions. No real amazing game but just generally a pure kind of positive energy.

- Somehow because of his lack of overthinking, he had this long term kind of thinking that as long as he kept doing his 5 compliments, things would work out over time and they did!

- On dates again, he did not think much, he was not a great conversationalist, but he always made a "move" with touching and this played a massive role in escalating things sexually.

He used this same system in NYC for 7-8 years and then moved to Finland and did the same thing there as well with similar results. He is now married and exited the game, but we still talk sometimes.

Whenever I get too in my head about game, I think back to him and realize how simple all this can be and how complicated sometimes we make all this in our heads.

Writing this out was good and it kind of again reminded me of how simple it can be. Hope its helpful to you too. And yeah maybe you can ditch street stops for a while and explore stationary girls a bit more.

Let me know if this helps and if you try some of these alternative avenues out. Good luck!

These were similar to the stats I used to get here as well in the past, so I believe this. You actually remember the stats he told you? Impressive.

Yeah, I've been primarily focused on street stops, or just seeing girls walking about lately. As big of a city as NYC is, in Manhattan I've been actually struggling to find girls I'd like to approach walking the streets, which is wild, and when I do, it's so far and in-between that my momentum and energy and therefore my willpower is shot. As I've mentioned, it's important I keep track of "girls I don't approach" or pass up while out because I can look back and see there are opportunities, even if far and in-between. But yeah, the combination of the street and not seeing as many opportunities I'd like, or at least within a time when I don't lose focus, has been the biggest challenge for me lately.

So what you say about these other situations your friend would find these girls, I think there definitely is something to that. I think the streets will get better as the weather warms up, but I agree I should try these other places more and see what I can do.

I do feel it's extremely important to get a good amount of approaches in per outing for the variance purposes I spoke of in my last post. I've been doubting myself lately, and a lot of it is because I haven't been in enough sets and seeing this variance in real-time.

Anyway, I could go on and on... thanks for your post man

 

[AspiringStoic]

These were similar to the stats I used to get here as well in the past, so I believe this. You actually remember the stats he told you? Impressive.

I just spoke to him in January when I was having a bit of a rough spell so it was not that long ago.

As big of a city as NYC is, in Manhattan I've been actually struggling to find girls I'd like to approach walking the streets, which is wild, and when I do, it's so far and in-between that my momentum

Well, here is the important bit that he always pounds into me whenever we speak.

To him, the 5 compliments were non negotiable. It did not matter whatever happened, you just had to give out 5 compliments every day. If you don't find attractive girls, you compliment shoes, coat, scarf, jacket of any woman regardless of how she looks like.

Because its not about the girl, its about you breaking through that barrier 5 times every single day and giving out that compliment. And you are more warmed up when you meet the genuinely attractive girl if you have already complimented 3 other women regardless of their looks.

And even on a macro scale you see two hotties on Thursday and you have given out 5 compliments everyday from Monday-Wednesday, you are going to be way more smooth with the hotties on Thursday.

I also struggle with this "not finding suitable girls" excuse from time to time but I try to reframe it as me going to the gym. I may not get my favorite dumb bells but I am going to put my reps in with whichever dumbell is free that day at the gym. Same way, I am opening whichever girls I can find that day.

And another big thing of his was that if you had to compliment 5 women no matter what, then it flips your thinking.

Instead of disqualifying girls you see by saying too young, too tall, too skinny etc, you start looking at every girl going what can I compliment her about because I have to hit my goal of 5 compliments. Huge switch in thinking.

 

[bkw]

4/4/25 - Approach 5, #close 3 DG

First, excuses, and what's been going on with me lately concerning daygame...

I'm still failing in the sense that I'm allowing excuses to take over, which is annoying, but it's something I keep working at. For example, the "approach younger" thing is STILL there, and I notice while out, but it's so ingrained. I do overcome it time-to-time, but that's not the goal; the goal is to notice it, and do it anyway. This is what makes daygame difficult for me, it's finding the excuses and the discipline to control them. The hardest part of daygame, for me, has always been the beginning, the approaches, and the excuses. I keep saying I'll get there, and I will, but not entirely, more like I'll have way more control of my excuses rather than allow them to dictate so much.

There are things somewhat out of my control that make it more challenging, however. And these things are periods in which I literally am not seeing girls I'm into enough to approach. However, I've noticed lately being out the 2 hrs I do end up seeing enough eventually, but sometimes it goes on for literally an hour or more, and then, bam, they come out of fucking no where and by that time my motivation, momentum, etc., is shot due to not approaching and being in my head. This makes it challenging. Some may say, "well, approach random people and stay warmed up". I don't like that personally, but that's me.

Weekends after 6:30-7PM are the best times I've noticed lately...

I'm telling you now, the weekends, like after 630PM-7PM are the best right now for approaching around restaurants and bars, etc. The girls are looking nice going to meet friends, so there are a lot of sets to approach, and they are easier to stop and talk to. Like, tonight I wasn't necessarily feeling it, but girls were stopping easy and engaging in conversation easily, it's a weird fucking thing because during the day it doesn't seem like this. I quickly number closed 3 in a row again, not even great game on my part, and the girls hooked for the most part. Weird dude. One approach was weak on my part, and she didn't know how to take it and didn't stop (more my fault I think); the other girl BF deflection and I didn't persist.

The weather is finally starting to warm up, and I'm seeing more girl's body outlines, and it makes it so much easier to spot girls I'm attracted to, it makes the whole daygame process so much fucking easier. The truth is--and this is no excuse--sometimes I'm not seeing shit I'm into while out. I know this can't be the case all the time though, so something strange in my head is going on most likely, but I can't pinpoint it. However, I have noticed an uptick in girls I'd like to approach while out, and I most blame this on the weather and seeing more of what I'm attracted to.

It's frustrating that I'm still not meeting my approach goals because I want to do so much. Daygame is challenging when you struggle to control your excuses and sometimes the very subtle excuses you may not even entirely realize. This is what makes it hard. Once you can more or less control these things, daygame gets so much easier, so it's basically training yourself to get where you need to be; you're training your willpower and taking control of yourself. This takes time.

What makes me want to be so consistent with daygame is because, for me, there is no better option, or any other option I actually want to pursue. Yes, maybe nightgame, but daygame gives me more freedom, I feel like. I don't do online shit. I don't want to do online shit. For me, if I want to meet a girl, I cold-approach. I don't do social circle game (kill me, that would fucking suck)--seems like a waste of time for someone like me; too much investment. Daygame and nightgame is where it's at. Cold-approach is where it's at. That's why I'm so consistent, or when I'm into it.

 

[Kingkong]

What makes me want to be so consistent with daygame is because, for me, there is no better option, or any other option I actually want to pursue. Yes, maybe nightgame, but daygame gives me more freedom, I feel like. I don't do online shit

Yeah man cold approach is King. Others have said that I need to diversify into online game but I just can’t get into it. If not else I actually enjoy the challenges of Daygame it keeps me on my toes. It put more control in your hands. Yeah nightgame is cool if you manage to stay somber and not spend a lot of money.

It's frustrating that I'm still not meeting my approach goals because I want to do so much.

whats your approach goals if you don’t mind sharing?

 

[bkw]

whats your approach goals if you don’t mind sharing?

It tends to change, but right now it's all about getting in enough reps and seeing variance (the good and the not so good), which can only happen with enough approaches--that is, until you get better.

Currently, my goals are basically the following:

1. Approach 40+ a week, consistently, or..
2. Approach a minimum of 10 per outing, or..
3. Be on top of my excuses, and not allow my excuse to be on top of me

I'm fine with any of those at the moment. However, none of them will happen unless I am consistent with #3 first.

If there aren't many girls out, for example, but I'm on top of my excuses and approach when necessary, this is good enough. If I can do #3 consistently, then other things will start falling into place.


-------------------

4/5/25 - Approach 7 + 1 #close DG

Today was a good session because I was on top of my excuses and more or less controlled them. This is where I want to be consistently while out. The results don't really concern me, as it becomes more and more of a number's game when YOU'RE in control of things, and not the other way around.

Approaches:

1. Indian-looking girl near 34th St. Very crowded. Not the best approach because of this, she didn't stop.

2. Followed a white girl into Target, where I approached her in an aisle. Southern girl with southern twang from South Carolina. Good conversation, but she basically said she was too busy for coffee. I didn't push it.

3. Texas girl BF deflection.

4. Very attractive white girl I approached near NYU. It was a good approach and decent conversation. Invited her out for coffee. Took her number.

5. White girl eating nuts about to walking into store. As she was walking up steps, I approached her as I didn't want to enter the shop. I fumbled on the opener and it was basically a hit-and-run compliment. I don't think it would have gone anywhere.

6. Asian girl Soho. Another situation where I tried to get in front of her for the approach, but someone was in front of her, so I did a bit of a side stop. Her momentum was away from me, and every time I tried to get out of the flow of pedestrians and step in front of her she walked forward, essentially keeping me at her side. She invited me to walk with her, but the set felt awkward because of this, and I excused myself. I probably should have walked with her briefly, then tried to number close anyway.

7. Approached an Asian girl standing in front of a shop in Koreatown. I deliver the opener and supposedly her boyfriend come in from the side. I quickly acknowledge him and ask if they are boyfriend/girlfriend. He says yes, so I quickly apologize and wish them a wonderful evening. This has happened twice within the last month I think, but both times the guy was pretty chill, thankfully.

 

[Kingkong]

Today was a good session because I was on top of my excuses and more or less controlled them. This is where I want to be consistently while out. The results don't really concern me, as it becomes more and more of a number's game when YOU'RE in control of things, and not the other way around.

Approaches:

1. Indian-looking girl near 34th St. Very crowded. Not the best approach because of this, she didn't stop.

2. Followed a white girl into Target, where I approached her in an aisle. Southern girl with southern twang from South Carolina. Good conversation, but she basically said she was too busy for coffee. I didn't push it.

3. Texas girl BF deflection.

4. Very attractive white girl I approached near NYU. It was a good approach and decent conversation. Invited her out for coffee. Took her number.

5. White girl eating nuts about to walking into store. As she was walking up steps, I approached her as I didn't want to enter the shop. I fumbled on the opener and it was basically a hit-and-run compliment. I don't think it would have gone anywhere.

6. Asian girl Soho. Another situation where I tried to get in front of her for the approach, but someone was in front of her, so I did a bit of a side stop. Her momentum was away from me, and every time I tried to get out of the flow of pedestrians and step in front of her she walked forward, essentially keeping me at her side. She invited me to walk with her, but the set felt awkward because of this, and I excused myself. I probably should have walked with her briefly, then tried to number close anyway.

7. Approached an Asian girl standing in front of a shop in Koreatown. I deliver the opener and supposedly her boyfriend come in from the side. I quickly acknowledge him and ask if they are boyfriend/girlfriend. He says yes, so I quickly apologize and wish them a wonderful evening. This has happened twice within the last month I think, but both times the guy was pretty chill, thankfully

Good job , where are the other 3 ?

 

[Kingkong]

Currently, my goals are basically the following:

1. Approach 40+ a week, consistently, or..
2. Approach a minimum of 10 per outing, or..
3. Be on top of my excuses, and not allow my excuse to be on top of me

I'm fine with any of those at the moment. However, none of them will happen unless I am consistent with #3 first.

Ok I get it now. Take care of the excuses first and the other goals will come. I like how you broke it down like this. Keep up the good work

 

[bkw]

Good job , where are the other 3 ?

Oh, I also meant to add that I try to do my approaches within a 2hr timeframe. I approached 7 within that time.

 

[bkw]

Today's mind-wank: I talk about "the game," why it can feel addictive, and why it's important...

I'm hooked on DG again. I really love it. Well, honestly, it's like a love-hate relationship because, on one hand, it can be very hard and frustrating at times. On the other hand, it's something you can actually improve on, get better at, and then see results you didn't think were possible. I think it's the combination of difficulty and mastery that makes it so addictive—you have to put in the work, time, and effort, and only then do you see results. It's interesting because society tells us we fail at attracting women because of how we look, money, etc., but when you actually get results from the work you put in, you start to realize how much of it is within your control, which adds to the addiction.

Also, it's hard when you're doing this yourself without mentors. You can believe it's all bullshit when it's just you in your head. Then you gather inspiration from others and what they've done, and before you know it, you're sucked into this "PUA" world that you maybe previously thought was gimmicky and fringe-like. Instead, what you learn through taking action and consuming inspiration from others doing the same is a mastery of yourself because so much of this is just that. They call it a "game" for a reason—how well you play this "game" (mostly mastering your mind and then your social skills) is the strongest indicator of success.

In a lot of ways, we are lucky to be men because we are given the possibility to make it happen—it's within OUR control. I think women like this as well, and they want us to be in control of this, both for them and for us. Things go well for both of us when we are, and we (men and women) like it when it does—one might say it's our "destiny" or "duty" as men, our natural calling. Every day you go out and become more confident, sharp, and competent in talking to and approaching women, you are building this muscle and getting "better" at the game. Isn't it ironic how women respond well when you reach a decent level at it, but then respond badly, both in the approach and in relationships, when you don't do well at "the game"?

Once again, the game I'm referring to is a mastery of yourself—mentally, spiritually, emotionally, etc.—and all this "PUA" and dating stuff really makes you work on these things because they are what is important for results.

 

[bkw]

Update:

Feeling pretty good about my approach counts and excuses lately. There still are approach excuses, but I'm feeling like I'm on top of them for the most part lately. I feel like now I need to work on better interactions and make sure to try to #close every opportunity, mainly because looking at my stats lately I'm doing OK with approach counts but not many numbers I'm collecting, and when I do collect them they are flaking. The flaking is due to the quality of the approach, and the lack of numbers I feel I can change by having better interactions + "always be closing".

For example, today I went out and approached 6 but 0 numbers. Here are the approaches, which explains why lack of numbers:

1. Asian girl in store, fiancée deflection
2. Hit-and-run compliment in Whole Foods. I mainly did it because I wanted to build the store approach muscle, but now I realize I need to stay in set with conversation
3. White girl in CVS. This one I handled fairly well. Got into a bit of a conversation but it was mainly one-sided. Said she was seeing someone. I joked about it but didn't push it because she didn't seem interested
4. Same thing with the Whole Foods approach, I approached an Asian girl in Nordstrom. Stayed in set a little longer but didn't attempt to close, and it was one-sided on my part
5. Attempt to approach a "girl" who walked by but "she" didn't stop when I went to approach. As soon as I tried to deliver the opener, I realized it was likely a guy dressed up as a woman. Embarrassing, but I've done it before by accident in the past lol.
6. Asian girl near Times SQ but didn't stop

Looking at these approaches, the only one that I would consider "good enough" for a number close was the white girl in CVS. All the other approaches were too short, didn't stop, or I ejected early.

Also, I'm very open to doing warm-up approaches where I approach groups or even girls I'm not that into. I realize this is good for momentum purposes while out and keeps me strong for even future outing and lessens my excuses overall. I am also counting my warm-up approaches toward my overall count while out. I realize for me lately that warm-ups are pretty effective.

While it may not seem like it, things are progressing, but slowly. I had an issue with approach counts and excuses, but I'm feeling like the momentum from the work I've been doing is starting to work in my favor now and AA has reduced hugely. I had very little AA while out today, but still subtle excuses. The next step is better interactions and to always be closing for the number and to work on flaky numbers. Once I feel pretty good about that, likely it'll be focusing on getting more girls out on dates, etc.

 

[funkyjam]

Very inspiring to see your consistent effort. Seems like some amount of your approaches are at moving targets, which are generally more difficult. The approaches that I read about in lay reports are often girl in the supermarket or girl meandering in a tourist area. I say this because, at least for me, studying pick up has gotten it into my head that any girl could be yours if you just approached the right way and said the right thing. Circumstances and situational hurdles seem to get in the way of that though.