FR+: OCP Girl from Badoo Comes Over [Failed Escalation]
i meet a 23 year old girl on badoo. this is her bio:
very telling.
when i message her, she instantly shit tests me and proceeds to screen me lightly on multiple topics. she brings up sex first, but puts off taking any sort of action with me that night. regardless, i continue escalating, and get her on the phone. she is very receptive and agrees to come to my place after i spike her emotions. when she gets here, i escalate too aggressively, too quickly, so she leaves.
two notes:
1. i mostly used topics tailored to the overcome by passion archetype
2. i was on autopilot and high
*she texts me *
I am surprised here - because I get distracted, but then look at my phone and SHE is calling me. i answer and she is quite receptive. heres the gist of it:
i verbally tell her my address and also text her it....we get back to texting...
i walk outside and see her. she walks up to me on her bike. i grab her and kiss her. straight on the lips. she does not resist. then i say, lets go...come on....and i lead her into my house. inside, she is taking forever to take off her shoes, and i grab her ass.
i bring her into my room and tell her to sit on my bed where i can look at her. and then i immediately tried manhandle kissing her several times like i did with her on the street. she didnt like that....knowing i am currently rusty with escalation, i realize my mistake pretty quickly and start kissing her neck instead... but when i do that, shes like no no i gotta go...and rushed out of my place....telling me she hoped i could find something else to do that night...
You totally chockablocked yourself. Spiked asd, and did not address her concerns over text, timing was off and she got scared, this could have been an easy lay. The goal is for the girl when she goes to yours is to get her relaxed, if she is not relaxed and you escalate she will get scared...
I am at an anti masker rally having a super platonic conversation with a lady. out of the corner of my eye i see another girl glancing at me. i exit the conversation with the lady and go over to the other girl. i ask which side of the anti masking ally she is on. then we get to talking about her favorite animal (cats). she says she is independent and that she will feel amazing once she's accomplished all her dreams. definitely a petty princess. she says she is a goal setter which i really like so i tell her this and she offers up contact information nervously. i take down her number and get her to text me. we agree to keep hanging out. then her coworker appears and they take off.
later i get some text screens from her: i call her and it turns out she was making plans with her coworker about what to do for the rest of the night. i guess that is why she was screening me. in the phone call i present a very loose idea of hanging with me later.
when i get off the phone, i continue to talk through text about making plans. she asks me where i live, then starts screening me some more. she agrees to come over for 7pm, then instantly calls me. she asks to find out more about what i do. once i answer that she then goes on to briefly bring up the concept of what society would think of a girl going to a strangers house who she had just met. i cant remember what i said but she was neutral towards my answer. i felt like i had handled it wrong...because the reaction to my answer should have been positive.
after i got off the phone, i had a feeling this neutral reaction was something that was going to get in the way. and that she was probably still thinking about it...then, i also thought i would face related objections when trying to get her to come inside my place. yes i was sort of worried about having to have this conversation out in the cold.so i felt an urge to text her something to correct the frame...and i sent it under the guise of an honesty frame. looking back i feel as though it was a little uncalled for and cheesy. she wasnt against it though.
shortly before 7pm, she moves coming over to 8pm...and then ends up saying she cant come over at all. cuz shes still with her coworker.
text + phone records
anti: i love cats anti: my name is anti fog: i forgot how you said youre gonna feel when you accomplish everything youve ever dreamed of anti: ecstatic and over the moon *1 hour later* anti: where you at fog: like 15 minutes away from where we were...where are you anti: in the university anti: what are you doing fog: well i am just drinking coffee...are you feeling adventurous anti: still curious to know where youre from? fog: well i live in X neighborhood but lived all over anti: ok cool fog: we can meet *i call her*
on the phone, she says she was just trying to figure out her plans for the rest of the night with her coworker. although it sounds like my call missed the window of plan making, i gave an option of hanging later *20 minutes later* fog: i know what we are gonna do anti: what are your interests fog: trying to improve every day, thats about it anti: you said i know what we are gonna do, what do you like to do? fog: have cool conversations on my patio with certain women anti: really fog: as long as they are not a serial killer anti: too funny fog: im glad youre not one anti: what does that mean fog: it means im inviting you over tonight anti: oh woow anti: but im with my coworker anti: where you at? fog: XXX address anti: youre at the LCBO? fog: haha that used to be across the street. construction now anti: you live there? fog: across the street from there, right on the corner ya anti: you live with your parents? fog: i live alone right now in a cozy apartment anti: ohhh fog: ya what area do you live in anti: X area anti: why do you need to know *8 minutes later* anti: ok maybe around 7pm fog: k let me know when youre close anti *she calls me*
on the phone, we solidify plans. she also asks to find out more about what i do. once i answer that she then goes on to briefly talk about what society would think of a girl going to a strangers house who she had just met. *20 minutes later* fog: i only like honesty. no bullshit. so lets be real with each other since we are getting to know each other. i know society has crazy expectations as you were saying...but theres no judgement on my part. like you have total freedom to be yourself around me...and i will encourage you to be who you truly are. if that means you cant keep your hands off me, i wont think any differently of you anti: do you want to meet at 8pm fog: 8pm works anti: ok *45 minutes later* anti: sorry i cant make it my coworker is still with me and i dont want to be rude and leave them anti: plus im really tired i want to go home too now. have a nice night *thumbs up*
summary: i meet a girl in her 20s walking down the street during the daytime. she leans heavy towards the overcome by passion archetype. i almost pull her to mine but mess up. i end up in her room at her parents place that night but her mom interrupts and kicks me out before i get anywhere. the girl walks me to the bus stop. on the way there we walk through a hidden secluded path, where i grab and kiss her. she is receptive but i mess up the kiss; she resists...we continue to the bus stop and go our separate ways.
we happen upon each other
i meet a girl walking down the street. i run gun's "you're different" routine on her....she doesn't seem to care much about it...but compliments me straightforwardly on my clothing. i am wearing a leopard jacket and blue boots. it leads to me telling her i do marketing for the clothing industry. and she is quite happy about that, saying shes in business
we move to a 2nd location
we're getting along pretty quickly so i mention we can keep talking. she invites me pretty quickly to hang out with her and eat some food she has bought. we walk to a university closeby and sit down on the front steps. i tell her to take a seat and she sits a couple feet beside me. her body language is open so i move closer to her and start some gentle, non sexual, collaborative kino. she is comfortable with it. she does most of the talking.. skimming between different topics on a surface level...like engineering, the hunger games, why her hand is entirely covered in ink, her earrings, living in the burbs, etc
the frame: social verbals + paternal subcomms
during all of this, there is an interesting frame. although the verbal frames leaned social, the subcomms had more of an emotional feel to them. it could be described as paternal: we are there together, we acknowledge our reality and share each others space....we share the same emotions together...in the way that a father would take care of a daughter...for example, i said "cmon you know you can't do that " in a parental vocal tone, which felt right for the situation
weirdly sexual eating
also during this time, she starts eating. she shoves a bunch of guacamole in her mouth and starts slopping it around in her mouth messily. while this is happening, we are maintaining eye contact and she is giving me a slightly guilty, submissive look while she sloshes it around in her mouth.. almost like she was a dog getting caught doing something bad by its owner..and the dog knows it has done something bad... i am alternating my gaze between her eyes and mouth...and getting this urge to grab her and kiss her...this chick's behavior is gross but it is strangely hot....she spills guac on her sock and we acknowledge it and deal with it sheepishly together within the frame...after she is done eating, she continues talking and at one point she gets accusatory that i am staring at her.
fucking up the pull to my place
then, i realize that i have an apartment viewing (at my place) coming up in an hour and i should probably keep an eye on the time. i am suddenly more concerned about this than anything and i am thrown off from the feeling we had going. i tell her about the viewing and she responds by saying she can walk with me to my place. i agree to it.
but it all goes downhill from here, due a lack of leadership on my part. i don't reinforce the idea of going back to my place. then she says shes gonna go off and do something herself. i say that there is room for a dark haired person in her plans.. she is ok with this... but i am now in her frame.
soon after, we agree to walk to the bus stop. along the way she randomly says me and her dad would get along (i find out later he is psycho). when we get to the bus stop, she hugs me and walks off. i do not react in any sort of way, and act like we will see each other later.
i get on the bus to go home, and i text her (see below) and invite her over...she frame grabs and gets me to go over to her place instead
setting a new direction with texting
fog: hbOCP
hbOCP: hey hey
fog: be over at 630ish k
hbOCP: lmao
hbOCP: yes
hbOCP: just got on the train
hbOCP: *blowing steam emoji*
fog: my address is XXX street we will chill
hbOCP: my address is XXX street
hbOCP: she shall shill
hbOCP: *peace sign emoji*
fog: ill be there around 730
fog: shill shall she
hbOCP: wowie
hbOCP: okay okay
hbOCP: blessed
her place is out in the suburbs. im not overly enthused about the idea of heading out there. but i have no plans for the rest of the night. and theres value in it for me. her archetype is OCP, which is something im looking for more field experience with.
an hour later, i leave my place to get on the bus.. and start the commute over to her place.
fog: leaving now
fog: ready freddie
hbOCP: im on my way home traffic is crazy
hbOCP: just come my way and we'll meet
hbOCP: im ready boss *thumbs up emoji* *clapping emoji*
fog: okay ill be there in half an hour
hbOCP: okay okay
hbOCP: sounds like a game plan
hbOCP: im still struck in traffic but im on a southbound bus godless *20 minutes later*
hbOCP: wya
hbOCP: im close to home
fog: same im 5 stops away
hbOCP: epic
hbOCP: tell me where you get off
fog: hmmm X at X im there now
hbOCP: omg your close
hbOCP: just get off at School X
hbOCP: ill be there soon
hbOCP: lurk around the school
i arrive outside of her place and wait there. as we are texting, she keeps saying she is just down the street and will be there soon. im a little annoyed by this because its dark and chilly and shes taking forever. i am not dressed for the weather. luckily i had brought some weed to smoke which kept me occupied.
fog: now im wandering on your street lol i didnt see a school
hbOCP: okay okay
hbOCP: its hidden
hbOCP: try to find my house
hbOCP: XXX
hbOCP: ill be there soon
hbOC: im going to uber it soon
hbOCP: im just down the street *15 minutes later*
fog: im near the front lawn and there is a cat
hbOCP: omg
hbOCP: yes thats my house
hbOCP: thats so funny
hbOCP: im still on the road
hbOCP: like my house
by now its been about 45 minutes and im starting to feel like somethings fishy. then she starts texting me that her phone is gonna die. its awful cuz im not entirely sure i wanna wait around in the cold while not knowing whats going on....
*15 minutes later*
hbOCP: phones gonna die
hbOCP: used it all on road maps
hbOCP: ill be home soon
hbOCP: just hang out
then, all of a sudden, she calls me. on the phone, she tells me how she doesnt have enough money to get home and that she needs me to tell her grandma to pick her up or something....
as she is talking about this to me, this lady opens the door to the house i am standing in front of. i mention this to hbOCP and she tells me its her mom and to talk to her... so i put the phone down by my side and have a quick chat with the mom. she says she is going to go pick up hbOCP but i should just go home. the mom closes the door and i am still outside. i cant remember how i hung up on hbOCP but heres what i texted her.
fog: your mom told me to go home
hbOCP: just go home
hbOCP: ill see you tomorrow
hbOCP: bye
hbOCP: phones gonne die
fog: im staying
hbOCP: thanks
hbOCP: find the school
hbOCP: ill be home soon
i decide to ride it out since i already came this far anyways. i head down the street to a fast food place to warm up and get a pop while i wait to see what happens.
*10 minutes later*
hbOCP: moms on her way
hbOCP: bless up
hbOCP: fucking he'll
hbOCP: HELL
fog: wow
hbOCP: i know
hbOCP: you okay
hbOCP: sorry
fog: yeah im just hanging out having a pop lol
hbOCP: good
fog: moms a lifesaver
hbOCP: she is
hbOCP: im in the car
part of me wants to text her about if our plans are still on (cuz its so up in the air)...or, if they are, how we're gonna handle her mom, cuz what if i went all the way to her place, waited forever for her, only to have her get there and her mom tells me i cant come in...that would suck. but on the other hand, what if i make one small texting mistake and it fucks everything up?
i chose not to make the texting too complicated, and just stuck to making short statements, similar to her weird texting style..after she said she had been in the car for a while, i asked her whatsup.. nothing crazy.
*10 minutes later
fog: sup
hbOCP: across the street
hbOCP: home
fog: k ill be there in 5
hbOCP: bless
shes finally home. since i had left to go get a pop, i walk back over to her place. she is waiting there for me on the front lawn.
the first thing she says is that it is cold outside. her tone makes it seem like its my fault for making her wait outside for a couple of minutes. i do not say anything. we walk up onto her porch. she is bossy and tells me to take off my shoes, then goes on to make another remark that its not okay to have my shoes on in the house...insinuating that was i was gonna go in there with my shoes on. i dont say anything to this either.
she opens the door, and her mom appears. hbOCP mostly does the talking. we pretend we know each other from university. the mom lets me in and gives me 15 minutes.
hbOCP takes me to the kitchen saying she needs to get a snack. she gets some cheese and gives it to me without asking. i just put it in my pocket. then she takes me up to her room.
in her room: laughing attacks and escalation
we get in her room and she is walking all over the place rapidly showing me things from different school sketchbooks. then, she opens up her laptop and sits on the bed, i sit beside her. she starts opening random files on her laptop, and engages in a very unusual behavior:
she opens and reads a file word for word very quickly, makes an observation about the file, then closes it and moves onto a new file.......causing her to descend into crazy laughing attacks that build and build in intensity.
for example, she opens a file that contains instructions for a school assignment. she excitedly reads the entire document from top to bottom quickly. it sounds like a long stream of senseless babble. then she points out how it was due in september of last year and starts laughing hysterically.
after this happens several times, she has this to say about this behavior:
while i find this all very weird, i quickly get the hang of how to trigger and control these laughing attacks....for example, she opened some architectural drawing files she did. these sketches included people walking around the buildings. i acted engaged, pointed the people out and got her laughing over the possibilities of what they ate for breakfast that morning.
friday the 13th + getting kicked out
after the architectural drawing laughing attack, she closes the laptop and goes back to looking at school sketchbooks from a specific pile beside her bed. i dont really engage with her too much looking at her sketchbooks. i am trying to talk with her, but its tough to get her attention as she is occupied with them. when she closes one and picks another from the pile, she is shy to make eye contact with me.
so i grab my own book from the pile, sit on the edge of the bed, and start making observations about it to her. i grab a pencil and am drawing a line on the page. after i do this i start inviting her into it, "watch me draw this line...i just realized something..you know what this means right..." she was engaged by that and i finally had her attention...
it led to working on a project called "friday the 13th" where she is beside me while she watches me draw random shit on the page for us acting like it is a school project.. i am using the observational verbal approach that gets her laughing. overall, the frame is leaning towards a shared reality like there was earlier. during this time i am escalating with neck kisses. she is very squirmy towards them and makes comments like we should get back to working on the project, or that the door is open.
finally, i get her comfortable with my neck kisses, and the mood is pretty light. and i can probably start escalating a little heavier sooon....but then the mom comes upstairs and sees what we're doing. she kicks us out. hbOCP says she will walk with me to the bus stop.
british voice + kissing in the woods
we walk out of her room and go outside. as we start walking, she starts speaking in a british voice and does not stop. on the way to the bus stop, she takes me to the school she wanted me to lurk at earlier. on the way there, i was able to trigger her laughing attacks by acting like we were actually in britain and pointing out stuff in the environment. kept doing this and she asked me to stop after she laughed too hard a few times...trying to control her state ...
fog: *british voice* the trees!
hbOCP: ahahahahahahahahhahaha
then, she takes me through a dark secluded trail. i get this sense that she wants me to make a move while walking through it. same sort of feeling i had while she was eating. so i walked up to her and grabbed her firmly and started kissing her. she was extremely receptive but i messed up cuz i was literally still trying to get my balance while kissing her so the rhythm was waay off. she broke it off quick and jumps away and said something in a british voice about how we had to keep going.,..we get to the bus stop and go our separate ways...
Brief Note: November was spent in-field Toronto. My last 4 field reports occurred over the span of 10 days in the middle of November (including today's report), when i was at a short peak of momentum. I learned a substantial amount from these 4 interactions - enough to pause in-field practice and start studying again. Currently I am completing ~50 hours of study on social frame and OCP-type seductions before I go back in-field to apply my learnings.
FU: Love At First Few Feelings
Report Summary: This interaction occurred on November 16th and 17th. I met hbpow, an african woman with an OCP fantasy, on tinder. Our original text exchange ended with her inviting me over to her house. I flaked on her cuz i was sleepy. The next day, I had two dramatic phone calls with her - ending with her inviting me over to her place again. I met her outside her place but she was a little suspicious of me due my behavior as soon as I walked inside, so we end up chatting on outside on her porch. It was cold and I was not dressed for the weather, causing my state and game to be trash. After some more mistakes, she insisted on going for a walk. We started walking, but I ejected.
Original Text Exchange
fog: I just noticed you hbpow: wussup fog: theres something random about you hbpow: LOL hbpow: try and put your finger on it hbpow: im curious now fog: you remind me of my ex fog: different kind of energy though hbpow: thats interesting hbpow: might be narcissistic but id like to hear more, if you dont mind hbpow: its uncommon for me to hear ppls first impressions as theyre happening hbpow: your bio is wild i had to know more fog: we're catching a flight to hawaii right now and ill tell you more on the way fog: youre close ill drive down there on my skateboard fog: pick u up on my back fog: drive with u on my back to the airport hbpow: perfecttttt hbpow: got a go bag ready at all times fog: ever prepared. what neighborhood are you in? hbpow: X. hbu? fog: Y hbpow: nice, i think its underrated hbpow: youre from this city? fog: not from around here hbpow: cool fog: i trusted my gut on this area a couple years back, now its blooming hbpow: well played hbpow: where ya from fog: guess hbpow: City W lmao fog: lmfao hbpow: so thats a no? hbpow: you arent a good old ontario boy? fog: not from there but lived there for a bit unfortunately fog: lol pow hold on do you smoke? hbpow: ya of course lol hbpow: bout to spark oneee fog: i think we could meet hbpow: yeah? i passed?? loool fog: yea....lets smoke and continue this cool conversation hbpow: ok, could do that fog: my address is XXX street lets chill hbpow: mmm i dunno if im coming to im your place right away hbpow: i know its hella cold, but we could meet outside for a bit? fog: no fog: text me your favorite animal XXX-XXX-XXXX
*she texts me*
hbpow: i try not to discriminate between animals hbpow: if i had to choose rn, peacock duh fog: describe the personality of this peacock right now hbpow: lil guy but he works it like a big dude in the prison yard haha fog: you are hilarious hbpow: ha jussst being meee *kissy face* fog: imagine this. a girl meets a prince. she has found him. her new addiction. she is instantly transformed into a princess and he sweeps her away on their honeymoon hbpow: is that your fantasy fog? fog: ill know for sure as we keep talking fog: we can meet outside on my porch hbpow: okay i can picture it, i have dozens of times anyways hbpow: into that fog: ya..... and its always really nice to lose your inhibitions and explore whats possible with that person hbpow: yeah i feel that hbpow: maybe you wanna come here fog: sure... ill take the trek over fog: ill shoot you a text when im close hbpow: thank youuuuuu hbpow: thats perfect hbpow: do you drink btw fog: i feel tempted to drink lately
She's made up her mind now...but it's about 9:30PM and I am high and in bed. At the current moment, I would rather stay cozy than go out in the winter cold and take the streetcar over to her place. Also, I am a little validated knowing I've won over this girl. So I flake on her.
fog: i think i will just come over tomorrow hbpow: nooo hbpow: you should reach hbpow: i have wine, and a bit of tequila, itll be fun *30 minutes later* hbpow: ok that was a bust hbpow: maybe you wanna tell me your favorite animal
*next day*
the next day - i decide to text her again
fog: just got this fog: favorite animal. the slinky bird. it tunes out the world and focused its entire mind and body on whats in front of it fog: we'll take another stab at meeting tonight. ill come and see you hbpow: send a pic of the slinky bird!!!! hbpow: *please* fog: *sends pic of parrots inside of a slinky* fog: slinky bird hbpow: loooool hbpow: ok so theres human intervention involved fog: out of all the possibilities, im sure human intervention is one of them hbpow: what's your favorite color btw? fog: take a huge random guess * i call her*
I get the feeling that I should call her, to move things forward. The issue is that I am not strategically prepared for a phone call, so it's feeling out of my comfort zone at the moment. At the same time, I know that there's a really specific window I gotta hit to get her to answer. I ignore the discomfort and immediately dial her number.
Phone Call 1 Summary - Congruence Disaster
she answers. i explain that my favorite colors are purple and green, and that when i was younger, i had a childhood room that was painted with those two colors. i tell her it was like living inside of barney. she is engaged by this. afterwards, she wants rooting from me as to why im calling. she mentions how she is taken off guard because it is unusual for someone to call her like this. i cant remember the exact root i provided.
She directly brings up for a second time the craziness of my bio. it goes downhill from here; she needs congruence from me, but i am not able to provide it for her. I cannot remember why. I suspect she was not asking me direct follow up questions. On top of that, I had not prepared a plan for the phone call. The underlying meaning of this interaction was lost on me - meaning I could not address it. Surely if she had asked me pointed questions about my bio, I would have responded in the necessary way.
Randomly, she has a direct, angry outburst about my follow up text after flaking, "just got this now." She called it bullshit and said I knew it as well. I kept it cool and told her i ate edibles and crashed. She did not probe further and accepted it. I should have been more attainable about how i followed up from my flake. this follow up is more high value, especially with a flake.
As the phone call goes on, her tone becomes increasingly more anxious and frantic. She's making ME feel overwhelmed and boxed in, and I can't figure out how to turn it around. I figure its just better to let this one go than continue. The phone call ends with me calling her weird and hanging up on her.
I figure its done and over with.
Phone Call 2 Summary - a Turnaround
But a few minutes later I look at my phone and she's calling me back! I answer. She apologizes to me for the way she was acting and says shes just worried about something not adding up.
Then, the vibe flips completely.
We get to talking about relationships. she asks me about my last relationship. i say it was like a rollercoaster - the highest of the highs, and the lowest of the lows. when i mention it lasted a day and a half, she's shocked. "oh my god!", she exclaims. after a brief talk about lovebombing she brings up her beliefs and fantasies about love. They include love at first few feelings and secretly getting married. She mentions she wouldn't be able to get married secretly because she has a big family and they would know.
She goes on to say she loves spicy people, and then in a moment of realization for her, says this is reason why she answered when I called her. All of a sudden, her tone has changed to a turned on type of voice I have never heard a girl use with me before.....and asks me if I wanna come over. I agree that it's probably in our best interest to meet. Before the phone call ends, she backtracks to meeting outside. I counter that meeting inside would be better due to the cold, and she accepts.
In Person - The Fuck Up
I arrive outside her place in an artsy part of town and wait for her. I have not dressed for the weather. I'm wearing shorts and a windbreaker in -10 degree weather. I'm practically an icicle just from the commute. She takes a few minutes to open up the door. During this time all i can think about is how cold i am and how much i wanna get warm.
Finally she opens the door. I greet her with a mischievous smile and walk right inside as far as i can to get out of the cold while she stands at the door. I was expecting to walk into her living room or something, but what i walk into is more of a hallway; it appears she lives in a townhouse of sorts, and this is the lobby.
She is still standing by the entrance and she wants me to come and stand outside the porch with her. I guess me walking into the place like this showed unpredictability and low social awareness on my part; triggering her spindle neurons to make her feel suspicion...thus causing all sorts of issues.
On the porch, we chat casually, but I let the tension hang...not talking too much. She goes upstairs, leaving me on the porch to grab something warm to wear for herself, and comes back down.. We're going to smoke weed, so she asks me if I have a lighter in a slightly demanding tone of voice. I don't have one, so she goes back upstairs another time to get one - once again, leaving me on the porch. I took no action and just let it happen, but looking back, I should have used the "i need to pee" excuse that I hear velasco talking about sometimes.
She sits on the porch steps, while I am standing a few feet in front of her. She offers me some of her joint, but I decline because it is sativa and say I will smoke my own weed from my pipe. She does ask me if I am cold, and I bring up that I am fine with the weather because I'm from the North, so I'm used to it. She starts asking me about where I'm from. I start rambling about all the places I've lived before, and she gets grumpy with me because I am not being "forthcoming" about the answer to her question. I give her a warning and tell her to be patient. She complies and I continue the story. I tell her about how I moved somewhere on a whim, and, preceding the move, I had been a drug dealer. Her face softens and she gets a turned on look on her face. During this time we are holding eye contact with each other; there is tons of sexual tension in the air.
After I tell her this story, she asks me to sit with her. Stupidly, I do not sit with her. Instead I walk up the steps of the porch and weirdly stand right in front of the door for an odd amount of time while there is silence between us. Probably triggered ASD. Then I sit with her. The vibe is not good. She says she has been feeling nervous for a while now. She also mentioned this is the first time she's ever done anything like this with a guy, but I can't remember if it was during this moment or a little earlier. When I tell her there are no expectations, she is quite relieved.
She suggests going for a walk. Of course, I don't want to because it's cold and I view it as a step backward in the interaction. Eventually I agree to go for the walk. As we walk away from her place, she says something about, "holding all the intellectual thoughts in her head" with a smirk. This was one of her keys. I am freezing by this point, not in a good state of mind, and can't figure out what to say. She says she knows in her gut that she is uncomfortable, and thinks that maybe we should split.. I agree with her and start to eject; she has a slight reaction to this, saying something i cant understand about us smoking more weed. Regardless, I continue ejecting. She views it as her fault, but I tell her to put the blame on me for this awfulness. She repeats over and over with shocked sincerity about how nice i am as I walk away.
Well, back in the small city again for a couple weeks. With winter and corona, daygames a bit tricky here, so a lot of my focus is online.
Here's a text conversation with a girl I met on Facebook. She's boring but, reminds me of an old fuck buddy so I'm into it. Ran some SUB game with themes of trust, empathy and connection. Baited her into investment and she's triple texting me lots. Will likely steamroll her in person.
fog: i just noticed you hbSUB: neat aha what’s up fog: theres something about you hbSUB: What do you mean? fog: like....you have this incredible duality about you... hbSUB: Oh uh thank you aha hbSUB: Do I know you from anywhere? fog: idk i met a girl who looked just like you the other day but .. youre in X city? hbSUB: Oh I see nice! and yeaah sure am haha fog: alright. lets keep talking right now because i want to know more about you hbSUB: Sure, so where are you from? fog: im sure you could guess ill give ya the first letter and last letter hbSUB: Haha sounds good so what’s the letters ? fog: first letter is.... X fog: last letter is.... Y hbSUB: Oh god lol hbSUB: Haha sorry I feel dumb fog: ill give you a hint. its the same city as you hbSUB: Now I feel even more dumb lol XY city *facepalm emoji* fog: you would have gotten it with a few more letters! fog: tell me...what is something else that is interesting about you? hbSUB: Lol well I have a poodle lol my hairs pink and I just got my wisdom teeth out haha I can be a cry baby hbSUB: How about you? fog: im sorry you had to get your wisdom teeth out. you are probably in pain..i remember when i got mine out. the doctors name was michael jackson, and i was like a chipmunk after. could barely smoke weed lol hbSUB: Aww yeah it kinda sucks but I was going to get edibles lol until I can smoke again and yes definitely rocking the chipmunk look haha fog: smart idea. youre gonna be a stoned lil chippy fog: i just realized something though.. hbSUB: Hahaha yeah and what’s that? fog: its about you
*20 minutes later*
hbSUB: Ohh what is it? And also sorry just brought my dog to the vet fog: shoot me a text bc itll be easier to talk and ill let u know hbSUB: What’s your number fog: XXX-XXX-XXXX hbSUB: Okay
*she texts me*
hbsub: hbSUB fog: nice to have you here...sure is better than the other place hbSUB: haha for sure
*20 minutes later*
hbSUB: so what did you want to say earlier?
*3 hours later*
hbSUB: well nice kind of meeting you have a good night
*1 hour later*
hbSUB: mum you still coming?
*30 minutes later*
hbSUB: oh fuck sorry haha my dog was chasing the cats knocking shit over i didnt see who i texted i was wondering why she just showed up with no message fog: haha hbSUB just getting off work i shoulda let you know i was gonna be busy for a bit but im free now...so .. i hope we can be real and honest with each other...earlier when we were talking something important happened...have you ever gotten to know someone really well and felt this feeling of comfort around them? like you could just sit in silence with them and it wouldnt be awkward....or maybe you feel open and unjudged around them? hbSUB: lol its a nice feeling havent felt that in a long time fog: it takes trust. i was feeling like that earlier with you but i couldnt figure out why. i think its cuz you sorta remind me of this girl i used to see....different energy tho...so strange hbSUB: aw thats nice and true trust is everythng its hard though hbSUB: sorry im having a little bit of a bad night fog: i get this sense you are probably a little guarded and put up walls ...but once the walls come down...you are very deep and "open" and become trusting to a fault. and can get taken advantage of fog: whats going on? the animals? hbSUB: how did you do that? lol yeah haha thats kind of on the dot hbSUB: but no just idk i think im just tired and tears wont stop
*45 minutes later*
hbSUB: nice talking hope you have a good night. probably going to watch tv till i pass out. have a good sleep fog: i can tell you later in person...but remember how i told you earlier there was a duality about you? This trust-mistrust duality is what i first noticed and liked about you. hbSUB: ohhh wasn't sure what that word meant lol. thank you though haha how is your night going tho
*next day* hbSUB: so what kind of things do you like to do? fog: i love to volunteer at the old age home its very fulfilling to visit with the old folk. the world grants these special little moments of connection and understanding when im with them hbSUB: aw thats so sweet! i bet they have good stories how often do you go?
*3 hours later*
hbSUB: also just wondering what do you want ahah not trying to be rude just genuinely want to know
*1 hour later*
hbSUB: i didnt think my face was that swollen until my brother just called me a chipmunk lol fog: im open to anything. why dont we meet and see how we get along hbSUB? hbSUB: sounds like a plan
* 30 minutes later*
hbSUB: how was your day? fog: its gonna be fun. whats your schedule? hbSUB: pretty open im usually free
Yo so I'm adding hundreds of chicks on FB and running game on them for practice. its a lot of fun (despite my overall lack of interest in women right now). This is how I met CSA. She lives 4 hours out of town. She's got a submission fantasy, always posting shit about doms and brats. she has hinted that she got abused some sort of way growing up. I think her childhood attachment style is anxious/preoccupied.
A lot of this set was messing around and experimenting. I made plenty of mistakes and sent her into auto rejection a few times, so I find it funny that something has came out of it.
experiments
- contrasting
- emotional vulnerability i learned from borderlines
- social frames
- aleks sexual gambits
- OCP and SUB verbals
At first I agreed to go and fuck her in her hometown...but I thought, naaah. I don't need to do that. Too much effort and risk. Now, we've started talking dom/sub dynamics and I've got it framed that she will come visit me in South America to be my sub for a bit.
I noticed that as I gained influence over her, her facebook posts started becoming about me and how I was making her feel. I'll include them in the conversation records below.
fog: i just noticed you CSA: Ah fog: there is something about you CSA: Mhm CSA: How old are you fog: 196 in dog years hbu CSA: Wow CSA: 28? CSA: No CSA: ? CSA: Bruh CSA: Its x7 right fog: lol CSA: What fog: yea you got the math right CSA: you look 15 CSA: How old are you fog: you look like youre in your 20s CSA: I’m 27 fog: ? fog: you mean 189 CSA: HAHA YAAAA CSA: awe CSA: i love dogs forreal fog: because you are loyal! CSA: because im a bitch fog: theres this sort of duality about you CSA: Shut your whore mouth fog: part of you is a total bitch.. the other part of you is soft CSA: Ya it’s true CSA: Like the rest of us CSA: Are you an Aries fog: lol that is so funny that you mention that fog: my ex was an aries CSA: I literally thought that’s what April was. But maybe the beginning half fog: taurus CSA: Ugh we don’t vibe fog: lol ur right CSA: I share stupid shit online tho CSA: So keep me if you want to maybe be mildly entertained fog: naaaah. im not looking for friends CSA: What is you looking for fog: im open to anything CSA: But not friends CSA: Hm fog: i cannot be friends with girls fog: do you know how you seduce a guy? CSA: No fog: you touch his dick fog: do you know how you seduce a woman? CSA: No fog: you touch them anywhere but their pussy CSA: Okay CSA: And CSA: I CSA: O CSA: Like CSA: They always fall for you CSA: That’s why y’all can’t be friends fog: ya you got it CSA: Wow CSA: Okay well delete me then young man fog: in a sec. whats your favorite animal? CSA: I don’t have one. But dogs make me happy CSA: So maybe dogs CSA: But also cats fog: have you ever considered what it would be like if dogs did not exist CSA: Misery CSA: i would love cats fog: cats are really independent CSA: They still deserve love foggy fog: i know. and please. call me fog. we are well past any formalities by now CSA: i like foggy actually fog:*cat meme* i wish to live in tireless festivity. i want to live in endless splendor CSA: Do it then duh fog: i feel as though...you are maybe destined to be famous. the focal point of the worlds attention CSA: you're a lonely guy huh fog: ive noticed that for some people, its really hard to trust others CSA: For most people CSA: Because everybody selfish CSA: And I can’t blame them fog: but on the other hand, some people trust absolutely everyone CSA: Ya fog: regardless of their selfishness CSA: Ya because they want to see the good in others fog: lets keep talking because i want to know more about this right now CSA: As you wish CSA: <3 CSA: <3<3<3<3<3<3 fog: send me more hearts CSA: How many? CSA: <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3*middle finger emoji*<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3 CSA: <3 fog: some people start out trusting everyone. but they are naive, thinking not 1 person will let them down CSA: That’s why you gotta be smart CSA: And never trust anybody again CSA: Ever for the rest of your life CSA: *angel face emoji* fog: except dogs lol CSA: I guess dogs are a body ya CSA: And like I do trust some people CSA: Do you? fog: ill tell you a story. me and my friends were on the bus the other day. this really sketchy tatted gang member came on the bus fog: i thought...wow...he is probably the most untrustworthy person in the world. but you know what he did? CSA: What did he do fog: he gave up his seat for a really old lady CSA: And from that day on you never judged a book by its cover again CSA: Good show fog: personally i make sure to only bring trustworthy people into my life CSA: That’s so fair. Gotta make sure you only water beneficial plants CSA: Not beneficial. I don’t think you’re a user CSA: But ykno, the good seeds. fog: exactly. water them and help them transform into the beautiful plant they are supposed to be. rather than cutting them down CSA: But a good relationship is give and take CSA: So they gotta be worth it fog: give and take? CSA: *scowling face emoji* fog: tell me more! CSA: I mean y’all both gotta bring something to the table CSA: Positive things for the growth CSA: The betterment of the relationship CSA: Platonic or whatever fog: you know about cinderella, right? CSA: Ya fog: she does all her siblings chores...they view her as a worthless servant, when in fact, shes amazing inside. then, she meets a prince and she is instantly transformed into the princess she deserves to be CSA: Mhm yes CSA: Where go with this fog: i need to be real with you about something CSA: Everything please <3 fog: i know you dont want to hear this...but for some reason, i feel really comfortable with you right now CSA: Keep talking to me thenn CSA: Please *pleading face emoji* fog: of course. i think its best if we keep talking im sure you agree CSA: Where you live fog: its complicated. im searching for a new city to live in right now CSA: Ah CSA: Move to W city (city near her) CSA: Or west CSA: or east CSA: W City first tho CSA: Or work at workplace Y and move to X city (her city) fog: X city sounds lovely text me XXX-XXX-XXXX bc im getting off facebook right now
*she texts me*
CSA: not trying to live with you though. only trying to fuck your life up fog: lmfao. youre my favorite person right now CSA. did you know that? CSA: ily2
fog: i just realized something... CSA: what *30 minutes later* CSA: bruh what *1 hour later* CSA: foggggg *5 hours later* fog: women these days know nothing about their bodies! CSA: youre dumb and im over you fog: they have no clue where their gspot is. the REAL one, not the one everyone talks about. CSA: who is this fog: the most powerful and sensual spot is right in your mind! CSA: and youre not taking up anymore space in mine byeee fog: the magic is all about how you perceive situations, and how you feel. but there cant be any magic if two people are not honest with each other. and what i realized is that i dropped off the face of the earth and completely stopped responding to you. so im gonna be honest. i smashed my phone cuz i was mad. i realize it wasnt good. it wasnt my intent to make it seem like i blew you off. youre a REAL person and i like that about you CSA: why you smash phone CSA: who hurt you fog: youre not going to believe this. remember how we were talking yesterday about the importance of trust? CSA: mhm sure *6 minutes later* CSA: aaaaaaaand ive lost interest *next morning* CSA: hope youre okay though fog: my best friend from university....kate...shes a designer....i was in W city with her at her studio....door was unlocked (dont trust this!)..her crazy ex showed up, flipped out, and ripped all the clothes apart...stuff she'd been working on for years...we were shocked...threw my phone and knocked him in the head...so mad...shoulda thrown the lamp instead. CSA: are you sure they arent dating and youre the side piece hahahahah fog: well i read this article....that the key to love is figuring out how the other person wants to be loved. and guess what? hes Cluster B. and doesnt give a shit about her. or how she wants to be loved. all he cares about is manipulating her for his own benefit CSA: mmmmmmm a lot of people are selfish like that. they arent ready for love or maybe they got comfy and lost interest in learning the ways as she grew. because that changes. love is scary and fickle and beautiful fog: "they arent ready for love or maybe they comfy and lost interest in learning the ways as she grew. because that changes" thats a really different way of thinking about things...deep...im impressed with the way you think CSA CSA: emotional intelligence fog: youre like a walking spindle neuron. have you ever thought about how you want to be loved? or what you want to be loved for? CSA: im not ready. thats all i know. CSA: whenever you become single, come waste some time with me *next day* fog: lol i dont really do relationships so we're in the clear... im heading out of the country in a couple of weeks so i can come and see you before then CSA: solid fog: schedule? CSA: off wednesday and thursday. i dont fuck strangers. *2 days later* fog: its cute how you just assume youre going to get in my pants CSA: you said you cant be friends with girls and you said you dont do relationships. sort your shit out
10 minutes after this, I see her post to facebook - its a meme about a girl asking a guy through text if they want to be "friends with sexual tension." It's definitely about me.
*next day* fog: i only fuck women i have chemistry with so, ill meet you in your city or ill get a place for us in city W. whats your preference? CSA: sure. ill grab us a ball. whats your preference? fog: im leaning towards your city but ill let you know CSA: honestly i was asking what drugs you want
3 days later, on FB, she posts about how she wants to move to germany - i comment and tell her to run away with me. she says "im trying bby". Later that evening I post about how I'm moving to south america. she comments and says "wtf i wanna go take me"
*the day after that, i text her - its been 4 days total since i last texted her. fog: hmmm any sort of psychedelic....weed coke and of course mdma CSA: oh youre alive fog: youre the only one i wanna talk to. everyone else sux and doesnt exist to me CSA: ew. whore fog: lol ya my filthy little bitchwhore *7 minutes later* (i start getting rude and dismissive and she starts going into auto rejection - usually she is responding instantly) CSA: just bring me the cock and shutup fog: shhhh you can try your best to earn it in colombia. run along now. CSA: can i bring a friend if im a good girl, daddy?
the next day, i am looking at her facebook, she has posted a meme about how being a dom is about being the kind of man that a sub wants to be a naughty little slut for. the caption is "0 percent of you." oops.
*yesterday* fog: i dont care what you do or who you bring as long as you follow the set of rules i create for you
Normally she replies instantly, or close to it, but here she ignores me. Today I post on facebook about childhood abuse. she sees it, likes it, then immediately texts me.
CSA: okokokok okokokok okokokok ill follow the rules....if i like them
i've spent the last month obsessively studying 3 Cluster B personality disorders. narcissistic PD, borderline PD, and histrionic PD. Now, I find myself in a good position to effectively game Cluster B women. I know their childhoods, their fears, their fantasies, what makes them tick and why. But it makes me sick to my stomach to think about taking advantage of them. They experienced extreme abuse and trauma growing up, and developed this personality disorder as a way to cope with the pain. As adults, they remain emotionally undeveloped, have no real identity and are caught up in cycles of manipulative interpersonal destruction. The idea of using them for quick sex seems cruel. But, I did notice a developing desire to meet a Cluster B girl, get into a relationship with her, and save her by rewiring her attachment style.
On the other hand, the manipulation tactics used by this cluster are powerful. I've been soaking them in, and in turn, using them on other people - to great benefit. I'm starting to have more control over the emotions of others. I will continue to study and field test these tactics.
but for now, its time to turn my focus to planning and preparing for colombia. its my first time heading down to south america, so this is unchartered territory for me.
once i arrive i expect to experience a sexual market value readjustment period that will last about a week. during this time, my own and other peoples understanding of my baseline value will not be cemented yet. women will be able to tell that i am not from around there, and that I am still discovering what quality and quantity of women find me attractive. This gives me a competitive advantage, and if I play everything right, I should be able to get away with sleeping with a greater quantity and quality of girls than usual during this period. I will make sure to do my affirmations, be in appropriate mental shape, run high volume game and aim for SDLs. i havent bothered to learn spanish, so this could be an obstacle.
after more rounds of therapy, ive found out im on the autism spectrum. although its mild, this would explain why i struggled so much in the first couple decades of my life, and continue to struggle. further investigation into this new puzzle piece of myself will be valuable. I hope to discover and understand new elements of my personality that I am not aware of yet. The benefit to understanding myself better is that I will be able to better tweak my behavior, and as a result, become better with women.
on the plane to medellin - was sitting beside a colombian woman and her boyfriend, i never looked at her directly or said a word to her, but we were flirting with each others awareness radiuses, which she was a little intimidated by. during this time i was charging my lips, washing myself in kinesthetic energy, running through sexual imagery in my head, and directing the energy towards her
i was shocked when she pressed her leg up against mine and kept it there - a couple of times. the second time she pressed her leg against me was later on in the plane ride. i baited her into it by exposing my neck to her; it was like fishing.
at one point, i completely cut her off from receiving this energy, as if it was scissors cutting wire, or letting an animal go in the wild. as soon as i did this, she got quite restless and shifted around.
i was completely sober. previously this kind of energy play and transference could only be accomplished when i was high on weed
enforcing the immigration line
i was standing in the immigration line at the airport after the state pump on the plane. i was strictly maintaining a strong, silent presence. an old man (a golfer) was in front of me, and a married white couple (a man and woman) - ahead of him.
the woman gave her husband a sexual touch on his hips. then she turned towards me and we held eye contact.
the man started chatting with the golfer in front of me. the man exclaimed to the golfer - "you're a professional!?" i thought this was so cringey. the conversation with the golfer ended and he turned his attention to the group in front of him and was leading that conversation. i heard him say another cringey thing, "i wont tell anyone"
during this time i received periodic looks from the couple. the man looked at me expectedly a couple of times. the woman also looked at me again and randomly swiveled her body towards me. it was like she was trying to include me in the group, but it was a mistake cuz i was not close enough in proximity for it to work. the turn itself seemed to be awkward for her, almost like she was bowing to pressure of sorts.
the golfer was now alone in front of me; he started singing and would look over at me too; as soon as i shifted an inch of my awareness radius toward him, he got uncomfortable
the takeaway from this situation was that i recognized what was going on in the moment, and was able to pick up on the subtleties.
first day warming up in medellin
- excellent logistics right in an english speaking party neighborhood.
- the women are friendly and hotter than north american women; the guys are scowling at me
- feeling approach anxiety initially, was able to get rid of it quickly by saying hi in my head to passersby; then transitioning into saying hi as i walked by
- walking to the mall to get a sim card and phone plan, i was pretty straight faced but had a general stimulated feeling from the massive culture shock (huge change in perspective). girls liked it. they melted while staring me down. the staredowns are different here; they seem to have thicker submission and stimulation behind them. it appears my SMV has risen, probably by a couple points.
- after i did my mall errands, i was no longer in that "im lost in another continent" hyper-state. i slapped a mischievous look on my face. girls got disgusted and dismissive. perhaps it is due to the culture of gringos being known for coming to medellin for sex tourism. or maybe it was something different.
- effectively approaching is gonna be tough with the language barrier; have to use a translator and it ruins the flow
emotional stimulation practice
- getting good reference points online with north american woman for emotional stimulators related to connection and love. i am finding patterns in that women are referring to "love languages" when i bring up love stimulators.
- i got banned from tinder for the first time. i was practicing emotional stimulation->open loops on girls then ghosting them. i guess i got reported because of this.
yesterday: i had an ok day approaching yesterday. i looked like a totally clueless gringo i imagine. still managed to do alright. was wearing blue boots, shorts, a white tshirt with some weird abstract 90s face on it, and a 90s abstract print button up over top (unbuttoned). i approached walking sets who were giving me approach invitations..i opened with emotional stimulation using a translator. the girls were friendly, but also confused about what i wanted. i did get 1 number from a black woman. i lost interest in her thru text, due to lack of understanding between us. i wasnt feeling it anymore. but she double texted me and we talked love languages and im gonna hang with her. 5 approaches, 1 number
today, i did a couple things. wore blue boots, a sweatshirt with an 80s themed atlantic city casino slot on it, and sweatpants with a black and white pattern on them of legos, eyes, diamonds, explosions etc and words saying "boom" and "money on it." i went out with a couple of goals; approach the hottest girls i could find. try to understand how approach invitations are here when im stationary. and also find a place to set up in front of a crowd for energy transference. this time i started off with social frame - asking about the culture - then transitioned into emo stim. i got much better reactions. 5 approaches, 2 numbers.
in toronto i would find steady streams of people, stand in front of the stream, and transfer my energy onto them. this time, i found a steady stream quite quickly - just down the street. i was standing in front of the supermarket. there was a homeless beggar laying down with messed up legs a couple feet beside me. and some randoms and shop clerks on scattered a few feet on the other side of me. as i stood there, i wasnt too calm and couldnt get into full state. i started feeling guilty about taking presence away from the homeless guy ....many people are starving here. the other thing getting in the way was that i had this thought it was overall rude to be doing this...its not my country, do i look like a jerky rich guy, am i out of place?
later in the evening, I was standing in front of a whole patio of people, on my front step. cool party people..I realized, hey maybe i could stand here and get in state and try to control the energy of the whole place with my presence? as i stood, gazed into the patio over peoples heads, and thought about it,, i felt a little intimidated. this patio was controlling my energy. i realized, wow i probably look awko taco standing out here if i been controlled by the energy. then i decided to go inside. ill try again tomorrow. imagine?
prior to that i had been walking at dusk practising state and measuring AIs. being in state is becoming fundamental for my skillset. im finding considerable differences in reaction to when im in state vs out of state. and, in order to come across as attractive to the hottest girls, i need to be fully in state. meditation and mindset tweaks are important to practice before going out. i also allow myself to be overcome with kinesthetic energy and charge my lips at important parts, like when me and a girl are holding sustained eye contact during an emo stimulator. its like crack for them.
im having a little bit of a breakthrough with my social frame understanding. the differences in people and culture are polarized for me right now when compared to the old people and culture. since i have no understanding of the social frame here, i have to relearn it. i dont even know if its appropriate to wear shorts....imagine a guy like that walking around in my hometown..i realized its pretty important to talk about culture in general. i mean back home i just take the culture for granted. people dont notice it. so if i can call notice to it back home, then i can DHV myself and also change perspectives
ONLINE
I'm running the same gambits online that i am also using in the daytime. i had also thrown a bit of PWF in there but im removing it because its ruining my social frame. my phone is overflowing with receptive matches, the volume is pretty crazy.
on my first day daygaming in medellin this past monday, i had been exploring a new area of the neighborhood im in; just past the supermarket, in a park area, near some overpasses. while walking, i caught the eye of a black woman (aloqua) who was walking the same way as me, but up ahead and over to my side. we broke eye contact and both kept walking - but then she slowed down and as i came up beside her we made eye contact again. i opened her direct with a translator. the typical, oh theres somethin about you routine. she was stimulated, and after some back-and-forth thru the translator and we arranged to go for coffee sometime.
a moment of calm in the place i spotted aloqua
we started texting, but there was some miscommunication due to the language barrier and we couldnt understand each other. it made me really not feel it anymore, so i just ignored her. then she double texted me the next day, so i picked it up with some questions about the culture and love languages. She asked if i had a girlfriend. "not at the moment", i said. we made plans to hang out on Thursday.
Thursday rolls around, we are supposed to meet at 5PM outside my hostel. but she arrives closer to 6PM at a liquor store 10 minutes away. She asks me to meet her there. i walk over there and park myself right in front of the liquor store. I spot her across the street. She walks up to me and asks where we are going. I say we're going to my place. she agrees.
as we walk through the colombian night to my hostel, a group of young teenage boys approach and surround us, and then follow us - they are begging for me to give them food. "hungry!" they bark at me while rubbing their stomachs. I repeatedly tell them no and continue on with aloqua. They fall back. As we continue, i see one of the younger colombian whores in the area up ahead. As we pass her, she starts following us as well, but I ignore her.
me and aloqua make it to my hostel; i try to use the keys to get in, but the locks are messed up here, so i was having a hard time with it as usual. she helps me, which is a nice gesture. we make it into my loft and sit at my kitchen island. sexual tension arrives quickly. she asks me how i like medellin. she also asks me how i like the girls here. "si", i say. she also asks if i had a girlfriend, for the second time. during this time there is strong eye contact between us; it is the perfect time to kiss. but we are on separate chairs, and i feel it would be awkward to lean over all that way to kiss her. darn it. this missed escalation window sets the tone for the rest of the night. the conversation starts turning boring really quickly - and she is complaining about how serious i am. i say fuck it, get up and started kissing her neck. we move over to my bed for the rest of the night, and listen to music while making out sporadically.
as the night goes on she gets more and more boyfriend-girlfriend lovey-dovey touchy with me; at one point she rearranged my hair. i teach her some english and she teaches me some spanish. she also gives me some salsa lessons. later, she is standing in front of me while i sit on the bed; i pull her down on my lap and she grinds on me while some colombian music plays in the background.
but overall, we just arent that into each other, so nothing else happens between us. not only am i rusty and lacking the instinct for sex, but the whole language barrier and slow, clunky communication style of translator talk made me feel awkward, and it came out through my body language. gone are the days i could be fucking a woman within 5 minutes of her getting into my place. this one is part of a multi-set warmup to get those skills back.
Crying in the Grocery Store
at the grocery store, a girl was walking towards me in the aisle. we held eye contact. i open her and she says she recognizes me from somewhere. she seems to think i live in the apartment building beside where she works, which im pretty sure i dont. but i dont deny it, cuz its good social frame. we get to talking a bit. i ask her what she would do if she won the lottery. she tells me how she came to colombia from venezeula. she came here to work so she could make enough money for her parents to come live a better life in colombia with her - theres no grocery stores or hospitals there, and they are living in poverty. i called her a hero and told her to imagine 15 years from now when she and her family would be happy and reunited. she started crying. it was a tender moment.
PPP Fantasies
i cannot help but feel excited about the possibilities of fulfilling a PPP fantasy for a girl here. The situation is so bad in Venezeula that thousands of Venezuelans are fleeing their home country and migrating here. Right now the streets are lined with homeless Venezuelan families selling lollipops to tourists in order to survive. Most of them are butt ugly but I hope to find a hot one - I willl take them in and care for them for a week, in return for sex. The PPP fantasy didn't make sense to me in north america, but it really clicks for me here.
It started the middle of last week with fatigue, shortly after I had gotten into Colombia. As the week wore on, I started experiencing more symptoms. A fever, pounding headache, breathlessness, confusion and chest tightness. It came in waves. The intensity of the symptoms increased with each wave, especially at night. This continued until one night I woke up and could barely function for 30 minutes. The next evening, I decided to go to the hospital, where I was admitted and treated for COVID. Today, I am feeling OK, but will still be recovering for a while.
During this time, I bit off way more than I could chew online. I had a ton of leads, and was trying to manage them all - but it ended up becoming a trainwreck and I lost all of them (neglected to follow up with some daytime leads as well). With the sickness, and language translation, it turned into a herculean effort to sustain my best texting habits with the girls. I struggled to maintain interest and made many cringey mistakes:
mistakes
- bad tension building
- replied and moved too slow (sometimes got back to chicks 3 days later)
- improper closing
- unable to freestyle
- socially robotic
- DLV'd myself
- overall transitions
- supplication
i mostly worked with gunwitch cold reads and emotional stimulators last week. i do not believe this is the way to go with the spanish chicks on dating apps - it will be reserved for facebook in north america and general in-person. for this week, I will be experimenting with the structure that skills gave me, which is more cocky funny. so far i am getting way better reactions and feeling confident about it.
ONLINE/TEXT SETS: JAN 2-10, 2021
The following are some notable sets from last week's trainwreck. They include a brief summary/analysis (too sick to get into deep analysis) and conversational records.
1. CAROL
one of my better sets this week. when i asked for her schedule she complained about my poor spanish. it appears that social frame often comes up after the transition from the app to whatsapp, and this is no exception. overall good investment from her, at least initially.
january 6th, 2021
FOG: theres something about you
CAROL: for example?
FOG: you have a duality in your energy
CAROL: no
FOG: uh huh
CAROL: haha
FOG: i can see it in your eyes
CAROL: what do they tell you
FOG: they told me you value connection and that you want someone else to understand you before being loyal to them
CAROL: thats true hahah
CAROL: but it is not very difficult to know
CAROL: everyone wants that
FOG: people are different in north america
CAROL: ohhh
CAROL: thats true
FOG: it is. tell me something else that is interesting about you
CAROL: i am very dedicated
CAROL: it is interesting because i dont meet anyone
CAROL: and when i am interested in someone, i give everything for that person
FOG: i see, you are loyal and put a lot of effort into your relationships, is that what youre saying?
CAROL: thats correct
FOG: ok, i have an important question for you, before continuing
CAROL: tell me
FOG: my friend valentina told me something the other day that made me think. she said that the secret of love is finding out how you like to be loved. so im curious. how do you like to be loved, what is your love language?
CAROL: interesting
CAROL: no one ever loved me
CAROL: so i think that loving someone means knowing and accepting people in each others facets and loving each defect
FOG: i think that loving someone means knowing and accepting people in each other facets and loving each defects...that is deep carol!
CAROL: it really is?
FOG: yes! it feels really good to be fully understood by someone else. but some people dont accept your flaws, or they may not care. it is an obstacle to perfect love. does that make sense?
CAROL: yes, in my opinion it is an obstacle
CAROL: because if you dont love or accept every flaw of the person youre supposed to be with, the question would be
CAROL: do you really want to be with that person?
FOG: i would love to continue this conversation in person. you seem really thoughtful!
CAROL: youre right
CAROL: it would be good to talk personally.
FOG: ok, do you have whatsapp?
CAROL: yes
FOG: send me a message and we will make plans
CAROL: a message?
FOG: on whatsapp XXX-XXX-XXXX
CAROL: thats your number?
FOG: yes
CAROL: and your name is fog?
CAROL: will you give me the last name to register?
FOG: yes, fog brain
CAROL: ya
***SHE TEXTS ME***
CAROL: hey, its carol
FOG: hey carol, nice to have you here. sure is better than the other place
CAROL: yes, where are you from?
FOG: guess
CAROL: im not sure
CAROL: its not obvious
FOG: im canadian
CAROL: super
FOG: super super. what is your schedule this week?
CAROL: *in english* i dont know how does it make it easier for you to speak english?
CAROL: i understand you very little in spanish
FOG: english is my first language, its easier for me to talk in english. is it the same with you?
CAROL: no, my native language is spanish, but right now i use a translator january 9th, 2021
FOG: im learning spanish
CAROL: thats ok
FOG: i have an important question for you. what would you do if you won the lottery today?
CAROL: to invest
CAROL: create a foundation for abused women, single moms etc ... january 10th, 2021
FOG: that is very caring of you, and a good cause to donate to. but im wondering, why create a foundation for abused women and single moms specifically? it must be close to your heart
2. CRINKLE
we spoke to each other in english, so it went pretty smoothly, although the start was a bit rough and she eventually had some resistance to meeting up. When we transitioned over to whatsapp, she complained about me having no profile picture. I fucked up and was supplicative by making my profile picture a random untested selfie. She immediately blocked me.
january 4th, 2021
CRINKLE: heyy
FOG: theres something about you crinkle
CRINKLE: something like what? *eyeballs emoji*
FOG: you have this duality about you
CRINKLE: haaa. interesting. i know people say i look like innocent haha
FOG: when you meet people you put up walls to protect yourself...but once the walls come down, you are loyal and trusting to a fault, and can get taken advantage of
CRINKLE: oh wow. are you a psychologist or witcher?
FOG: i saw it in your eyes crinkle
CRINKLE: haha is just because im too serious on the first photo and then smiley
FOG: lol! maybe thats it. but i also get the sense you value connection. you want to be understood, and understand the other person, before you open up to them
CRINKLE: no, to understand someone is actually very hard, if i wait to it then im going to open never haha
CRINKLE: is more trying to make people feel comfortable when they are with me if i can
CRINKLE: opening up is part of it
CRINKLE: but of course, sometimes theres awkward moments also and its ok. i try my best just to be nice and thats it
CRINKLE: but your analysis based on my photos was very cute haha and interesting
CRINKLE: so why are you here in medellin?
FOG: i understand, youre saying you want people to feel comfortable with you. it makes it less awkward.
FOG: i just moved here permanently
CRINKLE: yeah, basically as much as i can
CRINKLE: wow, im glad hahah. why?
FOG: got bored of where i was living before, i had seen all there was to see
CRINKLE: where was it?
CRINKLE: and thats super brave BTW!
FOG: ontario canada
CRINKLE: Canada is amazing, beautiful
CRINKLE: or what ive been told haha ive never been there
FOG: its very cold there, like the arctic. what are you up to this week crinkle?
CRINKLE: i start working tomorrow! and thats it by the moment
FOG: i think we could meet
CRINKLE: yeah sure!
CRINKLE: where are you staying?
CRINKLE: oh, and my name is CRINKLIASTIA, short CRINKLE
FOG: X neighborhood, CRINKLIASTIA. what are you up to right now/this afternoon/evening?
CRINKLE: right now?
CRINKLE: isnt that a bit too fast?
CRINKLE: what if youre a 50 year old man?
CRINKLE: im kidding
CRINKLE: today im going to do some stuff to get ready for tomorrow and thats it, i think i would be free on the afternoon
FOG: you're right, we should slow down
FOG: this afternoon works, do you have whatsapp?
CRINKLE: yeah. its XXX-XXX-XXXX
*i text her**
FOG: hey CRINKLIASTIA, nice to have you here. sure is better than the other place
CRINKLE: why is it better isn't it kinda the same
FOG: here is more personal
FOG: i have an important question for you
CRINKLE: tell me
FOG: my friend fernanda told me something the other day that messed with my head. she said that the key to love is figuring out how you want to be loved. so i am curious, how do you want to be loved?
CRINKLE: well, is interesting
CRINKLE: theres a lot of informatioin about that and many people think that also. have you heard about love languages?
CRINKLE: are like 5-6 i cant remember
FOG: yes. words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of affection. physical touch
CRINKLE: yes exactly
CRINKLE: Well, that’s not actually “love” but can make a relation feel more comfortable
CRINKLE: In the other hand, the way you want to be loved is deeper than that. Is more about how would you like to have someone next to you on a healthy way
CRINKLE: For me is important to feel free, to have my own life as he does, to feel happy, i want someone who makes me feel special, more special than anyone. And respect me and value me
CRINKLE: I think that’s it roughly speaking
CRINKLE: There’s aspects that makes me feel loved, loyalty for example is one of the most important
CRINKLE: Why you don’t have profile picture? Is strange to talk with a grey thing haha *1 hour later*
FOG; Wow ..CRINKLE..."I want someone who makes me feel special, more special than anyone. And respect me and value me" that is very profound
3. LEANING
went a little bit too far with the cold reads, in a weird fortune teller way, which caused her to say, "do you really like trying to read people to find out what they are like?". i was unsure of the true meaning of this line.
january 6th, 2021
LEANING: hey fog
FOG: theres something about you leaning
LEANING: haha, what is it?
FOG: you have a duality in your energy
LEANING: and how do you think those 2 extremes of my energy are?
FOG: good question. when you meet a person, you put up a barrier to protect yourself. but once the barrier is gone, you are loyal and trusting, and can be manipulated by others.
LEANING: hmmm *thinking face* i think you only got it right with being loyal
FOG: i see, you are a loyal person. do you also value connection?
LEANING: ya, sure
LEANING: do you really like trying to read people to find out what they are like?
FOG: not usually. this time was different because your eyes revealed it to me january 9th, 2021
FOG: hey, i have a question. what would you do if you won the lottery today?
4. LERY
it was good initially, but then a language barrier showed up and i kept plowing with the love languages, showing poor awareness. she ignored it and brought up hanging out and drinking. shes a young party girl, i should have gone a different route with this.
january 4th, 2021
FOG: hey pretty
LERY: hey handsome
FOG: do you speak english
LERY: no
FOG: thats fine, i will seduce you with my gringo spanish january 5th, 2021
LERY: hahahahaa
LERY: very good
LERY: how are you
FOG: well, theres something about you lery
LERY: ask me
FOG: theres a duality in your energy
LERY: what do you mean?
FOG: when you meet a person, you put up a barrier to protect yourself. but once the barrier is gone, you are loyal and confident. and you can be manipulated by others.
LERY: you are a fortune teller
LERY: that is why i do not approach people
LERY:
FOG: what youre saying is you have a hard time trusting people
LERY: yes, too much
FOG: i have the feeling that when you find someone you can trust, you value the connection with that person
LERY: that doesnt happen to me
FOG: its strange
LERY: what?
FOG: ****its hard to find. especially in todays world.
LERY: i do not know what you are talking about
LERY: im very normal
LERY: hahahhaa
FOG: my gringo spanish is not good
LERY: translator
LERY: explain it to me
LERY: *thinking face*
FOG: i do not understand what you are saying. are you saying you rarely have a connection with someone?
LERY: yes its hard
LERY: hahaha
LERY: and when it happens, something goes wrong *laughing face emoji* *facepalm emoji*
FOG: oh no! so i have an important question for you
LERY: tell me
FOG: my friend valentina said the key to having an amazing connection is figuring out how you want to be loved. lets say the next time it goes perfectly. how would you want to be loved?
LERY: its too complicated to know
LERY: ive never really thought about it and cant think of anything now
LERY: tell me to you
FOG: i will tell you about the languages of love.
LERY: tell me
FOG: *talks about 3 love languages*
LERY: wtf hahaha
FOG: what are you thinking?
LERY: nothing, i dont know anything about love
LERY: but we can drink alcohol
FOG: ok do you like wine?
LERY: yes its my favorite
FOG: same. come join me sometime and we will drink january 9th, 2021
FOG: kidding, im not ready for you to ruin my life yet. what would you do if you won the lottery today?
LERY: JAJAJAJJA WTF
LERY: I dont ruin anyones life, its easier they ruin it for me. i would leave here hahahah january 10th, 2021
FOG: oh really, and where would you go?
5. LOJOTO
shes looking for a husband! lol but i was definitely acting weird. just randomly getting into cold reads after explaining her intentions. i waited too long to get her number, and now im stuck with her half-ignoring me. although shes receptive.
january 3rd, 2021
LOJOTO: hey handsome
FOG: hey gorgeous january 4th, 2021
LOJOTO: how are you?
FOG: do you speak english?
LOJOTO: no, only spanish
FOG: thats ok, i will seduce you with my gringo spanish
LOJOTO: hahahahaha
LOJOTO: until when will you be in medellin?
FOG: i live here permanently now lojoto
LOJOTO: oh, very good
LOJOTO: what are you looking for?
LOJOTO: sex? friends? couple? wife?
FOG: anything but friends
LOJOTO: because i am looking for my future husband
FOG: i have the feeling you value connection. you want to be understood and understand the other person, before opening up to them
LOJOTO: exactly
FOG: and when you meet people, you put up walls to protect yourself. but once the walls come down, you're loyal and trusting and can get taken advantage of
LOJOTO: why do you know all that?
LOJOTO: did something happen to you?
FOG: i saw it in your eyes, they told me everything january 5th, 2021
LOJOTO: oh, how sweet *heart eyes emoji*
FOG: i have an important question for you before we continue
LOJOTO: sure, tell me january 6th, 2021
FOG:* *blurb about love languages january 9th, 2021
FOG: lojoto
LOJOTO: excuse me, today i hardly enter
LOJOTO: i want to be loved with a lot of passion, moral support, respect
LOJOTO: sweetie
6. LORE
this set was characterized by what seemed to be a bit of a stubborn frame battle. it makes me think i could have fucked her that day if i had continued the conversation on the 5th. but it was too much energy for me to interpret what was going on, so i stopped replying and missed any possible window.
january 5th, 2021
LORE: hey. how are you?
FOG: theres something about you lore
LORE: wdym?
FOG: theres a duality in your energy
LORE: and how do you know that?
FOG: i can see it in your eyes, they tell me everything
LORE: funny, if you look at my photos you dont see them that much
FOG: its very subtle, but its like reading a book
LORE: is that duality good or bad?
FOG: its good, ill tell you
LORE: tell me
FOG: when you meet a person you put up a barrier to protect yourself. but once the barrier is gone, you are loyal and trusting, and can get manipulated by others
LORE: that applies to everyone for a typology
FOG: i dont normally read that from peoples eyes
LORE: i understand it is something particular to certain people january 9th, 2021
FOG: i have a question, what would you do if you won the lottery today? january 10th, 2021
LORE: how much are we talking about? right now i think i would invest one part and another to buy something
LORE: travel when possible
7. MERLIN
really hot girl, i could have turned this into a good set similar to carol, but was too late to reply.
january 5th, 2021
FOG: how are you merlin (AUTOMATED BADOO MESSAGE)
FOG: theres something about you
MERLIN: im fine and you
FOG: no, i mean you have a duality about your energy
MERLIN: duality? like everyone
MERLIN: no? january 6th, 2021
FOG: your eyes tell me a lot about you
MERLIN: what things?
FOG: they told me you value connection and that you want someone else to understand you before being loyal to them
MERLIN: yes, i value connection, and thats why im loyal to the people i think deserve it january 9th, 2021
FOG: you are saying you are dedicated to your relationships
8. NOTTA
the proximity of the "i will seduce you in my gringo spanish" line and the connection cold read was a little cringey. the transition into the close was not right. could have closed earlier.
january 4th, 2021
FOG: hey pretty
NOTTA: hey how are you
FOG: do you speak english?
NOTTA: no
FOG: thats ok i will seduce you with my gringo spanish
NOTTA: hahaahaha
NOTTA: very good
FOG: i have the feeling you value connection and want to be understood
NOTTA: yesss
FOG: and once they understand you, you become loyal and trusting
NOTTA: how do you know
FOG: your eyes tell me
FOG: make sense?
NOTTA:
FOG: before we continue i have an important question to ask you
NOTTA: tell me
FOG: my friend kate told me something the other day that messed with my head she said that the key to love is figuring out how you want to be loved. so i am curious, how do you want to be loved?
NOTTA: i want you to understand me, im not easy
FOG: you want to be understood
NOTTA: si
FOG: its a terrible feeling when someone doesnt understand you. but it feels amazing when someone understands you. it is rare to be understood
NOTTA: yes babe
FOG: what are you doing this week? youre cool i think we can meet january 9th, 2021
FOG: kidding, im not ready for that yet. what would you do if you won the lottery today? january 10th, 2021
NOTTA: i operate
NOTTA: jajaja
9. PELSY
good investment from her. when i approached her about hanging out, she said she wouldnt be free till the weekend, so i stopped investing. i wonder if i have enough baseline investment from her to ask her to hang out again, even though things are drifting off.
january 3rd, 2021
PELSY: hey
FOG: hey gorgeous
PELSY: hey!
FOG: do you speak english?
PELSY: no
FOG: thats ok, i will seduce you with my gringo spanish
PELSY: *Laughing emoji*
PELSY: *heart eyes emoji*
PELSY: how fun would it be
FOG: what are you up to right now?
PELSY: at my friends house
PELSY: and you?
PELSY: *sends picture of alcohol and shots*
PELSY: *monkey eyes emoji* january 4th, 2021
FOG: eating breakfast
FOG: i have the feeling you value connection. you want to be understood and understand the other person, before opening up to them
PELSY: good morning! thats right
FOG: i have an important question for you
PELSY: tell me
PELSY: haha
FOG: my friend fernanda told me something the other day that messed with my head. she said that the key to love is figuring out how you want to be loved. so i am curious, how do you want to be loved?
PELSY: excellent question
PELSY: i want to be loved without fear, without nonesense about i love you but im not ready. i want a joyful, spontaneous love that brings brightness and warm color to my life, a love that tastes sweet and does not give me a bitterr taste, a true love <3
FOG: wow....pelsy.... i want a joyful, spontaneous love that brings brightness and warm color to my life, a love that tastes sweet and does not give me a bitterr taste, a true love ..that is very profound
PELSY: yes it is really what i wish *heart eyes emoji*
FOG: what are you doing this week? i think we could meet
PELSY: im free on the weekend, friday and saturday *later that day*
PELSY: hello! work, watch series, listen to music, enjoy every moment january 5th, 2021
FOG: series? tell me more? january 6th, 2021
PELSY: lucifer january 9th, 2021
FOG: are you ready for the 6th season? january 10th, 2021
PELSY: yeah i look forward to it *heart eyes emoji*
10. PILLY
with these cold reads, she said it is obvious that most people have these traits. definitely a socially stock answer - but this is a pretty typical reply of south american women. it contrasts north american women, in that, they are shocked when i lay it down on them.
anyways, this girl transitions to "what are you looking for" after the cold reads and she starts shit testing a little bit., which for some reason i dont think i handled quite perfectly, but she hints at meeting up. i mess it up by being too slow to reply, which makes her change her mind and become flakey.
january 4th, 2021
FOG: hey gorgeous
PILLY: hey
FOG: theres something about you
PILLY: what is it?
FOG: when you meet people you put up barriers to protect yourself. but when the barriers fall you are open and loyal. january 5th, 2021
PILLY: why do you say that?
FOG: i can see it in your eyes they told me everything
PILLY: what else did they say
FOG: they said you value connection and want someone else to understand you before letting your guard down with them
PILLY: how do you know that
PILLY: or it is so obvious in others that most are like this
FOG: its a good question i know i dont read this from most peoples eyes
PILLY: what are you looking for here?
FOG: i am open to anything but friends
PILLY: why?
PILLY: boyfriends too? :v
FOG: haha i can be friends with anyone except women
PILLY: why
PILLY: ah, just looking for sex?
FOG: i am looking for chemistry
PILLY: oh i understand
PILLY: and how have you been?
FOG: alright, im curious...tell me something interesting about yourself
PILLY: the most likely thing is that you like me if we see each other
PILLY: hahahahah
PILLY: i dont know what to tell january 6th, 2021
Fog: ok... we'll see about that ;P ...what are you up to this week?
PILLY: nothing and you?
FOG: i have time tomorrow or friday. which is better for you to meet
PILLY: friday?
FOG: this works for me. do you have whatsapp?
PILLY: yes. XXX-XXX-XXXX january 7th, 2021
FOG: hey pilly, nice to have you here. sure is better than the other place
PILLY: hey
PILLY: so, how are you? january 8th, 2021
FOG: im fine, about to go shopping before the lockdown. i have a question for you
PILLY: tell me
FOG: what would you do if you won the lottery today
PILLY: How much money would we be talking about?
PILLY: Well, the truth is, I'm not very interested in money, so I would invest it in an animal foundation; that would do
PILLY: Although maybe I would invest it in other things, that they need it more
PILLY: and what would you do?
FOG: I see. you like animals and you want to help them
PILLY: Yes, although there are people who also deserve to be helped
PILLY: Here in Colombia, so much inequality gives me a little sadness
PILLY: And that they are willing to kill for a piece of paper (money)
PILLY: I don't know, humanity sucks
FOG: you are a very caring person. money is a curse so i would donate it to the homeless who are starving. Every time I go out and see someone struggling, it hurts inside. I want to save them
PILLY: I hate seeing all that, it makes me want to cry
PILLY: Because I don't know how to help
FOG: I think you are already helping by being aware of the situation and being nice to them. I have heard that others do not treat them well. Makes sense?
FOG: every little thing helps
PILLLY: It doesn't make sense, this shouldn't be like this
PILLY: Its true
FOG: I would love to continue this conversation in person. it is very thoughtful
PILLY: Yeah I think it's cool
FOG: I still have time to meet today as we plan. another day is fine too
PILLY: Better another day, to have more time to get to know each other
FOG: that works
PILLY: Go ahead
PILLY: You tell me when
FOG: What is your schedule
PILLY: I have the whole week off
PILLY: I'm on vacation
FOG: Sunday, I think. But I'll let you know tomorrow, okay?
PILLY: Until Tuesday is the curfew january 9th, 2021
FOG: okay, i have to ask you something important, pilly
PILLY: tell me? january 10th, 2021
FOG: *blurb bout love languages*
PILLY: i said that?
FOG: no a different pilly, one of my coworkers
PILLY: oh, i understand
PILLY: i do not know
PILLY: i have never thought about it
PILLY: its a very good question
PILLY: how do you want to be loved?
FOG: its very complicated
PILLY: why?
11. SENIA
overall, shes not too compliant, but as i kept up with the emotionall stimulation she asked for my number. later, i found it strange she randomly hit me up with an open loop. my response was for her to tell me it and that it would be our secret. of course this is a mistake, this is what every guy would say, and she probably sent it to her whole contacts list, so i can see why she didnt respond. i didnt approach meeting up, and now its half dead.
january 5th, 2021
FOG: theres something about you
SENIA: What?
FOG: theres a duality in your energy
SENIA: what is it?
FOG: when you meet a person, you put up a barrier to protect yourself. but once the barrier is gone, you are loyal and trusting. and can be manipulated by others
SENIA: interesting. why are you telling me that?
SENIA: im a little lost, haha
FOG: because i can see it in your eyes
SENIA: its ok
SENIA: what else can you see in my eyes?
FOG: i have the feeling you value connection and thats you want to be understood by other people
SENIA: interesting
FOG: i agree. tell me something else that is interesting about you
SENIA: hahah
SENIA: i dont know if its interesting, but ill give you a tip about me
SENIA: im too bad to talk, i dont know what to say
FOG: that's ok ill find out more as we keep talking
SENIA: haha, thats ok
SENIA: tell me about you
FOG: well i was talking to my friend valentina and she said something that screwed me up. she said the secret of love is discovering how you want to be loved.
SENIA: and what do you think about that?
FOG: well i dont know. it makes me think of love languages..im also curious. how do you want to be loved?
SENIA: do we speak better on whatsapp?
FOG: yes, send me a message
SENIA: tell me your number
FOG: XXX-XXX-XXXX
*she texts me*
SENIA: hi
FOG: hey nice to have you here sure is better than the other place
SENIA: haha thats right
FOG: whats your favorite animal?
SENIA: *voice message of spanish that i dont understand*
FOG: im using my best gringo spanish but i cant hear that january 6th, 2021
SENIA: hey can we talk about something, i know we dont know each other much, but i need to talk about it with someone who can give me their point of view
SENIA: and be honest with me and dont tell me things just because you know me and you know what you think is best for me or something like that
SENIA: i dont know if you understand
FOG: i understand you and will be honest. tell me
SENIA: i dont know whether to talk to you about that
SENIA: better not
FOG: it will be our secret january 9th, 2021
FOG: senia, what would you do if you won the lottery today? january 10th, 2021
SENIA: id pay off all my debts and pay for college
SENIA: jaajajajaj
12. TRESKA
her reactions suggest i was a little bit tryhard at some points. when she asked "what about you" i should have asked her what she wanted to know instead of volunteering information. i told her i volunteer at the old age home, but have been getting great reactions from others when i say i am a kindergarten teacher at a school teaching english, so i will continue with that.
overall she doesnt seem overly interested. i tried to set a social frame of meeting up to teach her a meditation tactic, but i believe my social frame of being a tourist overruled that, and got in the way
january 6th, 2021
TRESKA: hey
FOG: theres something about you treska
TRESKA: what is it?
FOG: you have a duality in your energy
TRESKA: haha tell me more
FOG: when you meet a person you put up a barrier to protect yourself. but once the barrier is gone, you are loyal and trusting, and can get manipulated by others
TRESKA: okay...
TRESKA: and what about you? becuase im already at a disadvantage
FOG: well i just finished volunteering at the nursing home. the universe was generous and granted me a special moment of connection with them.
TRESKA: cool
FOG: uh huh
TRESKA: what were you doing there?
FOG: i was a volunteer and cared for the elderly
TRESKA: super, it must have been pretty
FOG: yes. so tell me something interesting about you
TRESKA: i like concerts, i have funny dreams sometimes, i also like to meditate
FOG: meditation is important
TRESKA: yes i really like to relax
FOG: do you do any particular breathing exercises?
TRESKA: no, i just try to do deep breathing
FOG: interesting i have learned a breathing exercize during meditation that relaxes me faster and longer.
TRESKA: how is it?
FOG: its difficult to explain, i will tell you in person
TRESKA: ok
FOG: what are you thinking to do
TRESKA: when?
FOG: today
TRESKA: illl be a little busy, but we can arrange for another day if you want
FOG: ok, do you have whatsapp
TRESKA: yes, its XXX-XXX-XXXX
**I TEXT HER**
FOG: hey kelly, nice to have you here. sure is better than the other place - fog
TRESKA: hello, yes its better
FOG: what is your schedule this week?
TRESKA: im not sure yet
TRESKA: how long are you in medellin?
FOG: this is my new home, i live here permanently
TRESKA: ah, super
TRESKA: where are you staying?
FOG: in X neighborhood for now, do you know a better neighborhood to live in?
TRESKA: i know that foreigners really like that area, or Y neighborhood, although the staidum or floresta area seems cool to me
FOG: heard a lot about floresta but havent visited yet
TRESKA: you should do it, maybe youll like it
FOG: you know, moving to a new city or neighborhood can broaden your perspective with experiences from different cultures. and each neighborhood in medellin has unique qualities.
TRESKA: clear
FOG: yes january 9th, 2021
FOG: hey treska, what would you do if you won the lottery today?
TRESKA: the first thing id do is pay my familys debts
TRESKA: you?
13. VINA
theres a lot of natural attraction here between us, when i approached meeting, she said she wanted to take it slow. i agreed, then didnt invest much while dragging things out. now shes moving things forward herself. she wants to have a call, but im not sure how to approach that with the language barrier.
january 4th 2021
VINA: hey
FOG: hey gorgeous
VINA: how are you
FOG: do you speak english?
VINA: no, you dont speak spanish?
FOG: thats ok, i will seduce you with my gringo spanish
VINA: haha i like it
VINA: where do you live?
FOG: x neighborhood, what are you up to right now?
VINA: very good!!
VINA: listening to music, you?
FOG: having a drink at home. come join me
VINA: that would be cool at some point for sure
FOG: cool. so i just realized something about you
VINA: what thing?
FOG: i have the feeling that you value connection and want to be understood
VINA: partly yes, normal
VIVA: how long have you lived in medellin?
FOG: i just moved here last night
VINA: you shall
VINA: and do you stay?
FOG: yes i moved here permanently
VINA: thats good
FOG: yes, youre a local?
VINA: X neighborhood
FOG: oh
VINA: you do not know where that is
FOG: its a neighborhood in medellin?
VINA: a municipal region of antioquia
FOG: I see
VINA: why?
FOG: i have to ask you something before continuing
VINA: tell me
FOG: my friend camila atold me something the other day that messed with my head she said that the key to love is figuring out how you want to be loved. so i am curious, how do you want to be loved?
VINA: you know, i was studying psychology
VINA: the truth is that they trust me and respect me, that is enough
VINA: now that you ask, tell me how it is with you?
FOG: you want to be trusted and respected, and you want them to be loyal to you. very interesting
VINA: yes
FOG: for me loyalty and trust is important. but also caring for each other, and having a deeper connection than anyone else ive ever met.
VINA: those are important factors
FOG: do you have whatsapp
VINA: yes
FOG: message me
VINA: whats your number?
FOG: XXX-XXX-XXXX
VINA: not me
VINA: you talk to me
VINA: XXX-XXX-XXXX
VINA: i think now
**SHE TEXTS ME**
VINA: hello!!
FOG: hey, nice to have you here. sure is better than the other place.
VINA: of course
FOG: whats your schedule this week?
VINA: the truth is i have nothing planned. and you?
FOG: i have some free time tomorrow. lets meet then
VINA: i prefer that we talk more and from there decide if i can see you january 5th, 2021
FOG: yes lets take it very slow
VINA: yes
VINA: good day
FOG: i have a question about the culture
VINA: tell me?
FOG: is it ok to wear shorts?
VINA: of course
VINA: what else do you want to ask me?
FOG: i have a lot of questions
VINA: you can ask them january 7th, 2021
VINA: hey how are you? january 9th, 2021
FOG: hey vina im good, how are you?
VINA: very good i am happy
VINA: very good thanks to god
VINA: hey how is your name? january 10th, 2021
FOG: thats amazing, you want my full name?
VINA: yes
FOG: fog brain
VINA: *sends me voice message that i cant understand*
FOG: i am using my best gringo spanish but i cannot uderstand. can you write it?
VINA: i get it
VINA: that i thought was your last name
VINA: and what if you can give me a voice note? i want to hear your voice
FOG: *voice note speaking in english, focusing on hot vocal tones* hey. wassup girl. this lockdown is driving me nuts.
VINA: you speak very nice
VINA: what if we make a call this week? january 11th, 2021
FOG: yes january 12th, 2021
VINA: good morning
Summary: She's a 29 year old colombian hipster, with a self-described weakness for smoking weed. I met her online. We went on a date in front of my hostel. We chatted in english for about 20-30 minutes. She drowned in stimulation. then we went up to my apartment to have fun.
ONLINE
Our initial conversation was marked by banter and social frame. She wanted me to teach her english, and moved things forward rapidly with me.
JANUARY 8TH, 2021
FOG: i just noticed you JANUARY 12TH, 2021
FOG: i have a question. how happy are you in your life from 1-10
WEED: 6. why? JANUARY 13TH, 2021
FOG: that is because you have not met me yet. once you meet me it will go to a 10
WEED: hahahahaha
WEED: i love that
WEED: you made me laugh
WEED: and i want to know about you JANUARY 15TH, 2021
FOG: what do you wanna know?
WEED: are you a kindergarten teacher?
FOG: yes, i teach english to the children
WEED: waaaoooo
WEED: this is very sweet
WEED: jajajajajaja
WEED: I also need an english teacher and its serious
WEED: although im not a child but we can play while you teach me
FOG: i would love to teach you english
WEED: hahahahah i would love for you to teach me english
WEED: you are not from here?
WEED: true?
FOG: i am from another continent
WEED: where?
WEED: i already want to know more about you
FOG: guess! i would love to know more about you too. i think we can meet and get to know each other.
WEED: hahahaha
WEED: tell me one of your captivating phrases and i agree to meet you today
FOG: an english phrase?
WEED: yes. or in spanish
WEED: of those that you welcomed me
FOG: the secret to love is discovering your love language
WEED: hahahahaha
WEED: ok, look at my number and please you add me and we look where we go
WEED: XXX-XXX-XXXX *I TEXT HER*
FOG: nice to have you here. sure is better than the other place. - fog
WEED: hahahahahaha
WEED: very good my name is weed smoke
WEED: and im from these mountains with all my heart
WEED: and you?
FOG: my name is fog brain and i am from your heart.
FOG: just kidding. im from Canada, the land of hockey
WEED: haha my heart is a huge place
WEED: ahahahahha
WEED: canada, i heard its cold but ive never been
WEED: how long have you lived in medellin?
FOG: 8 months
WEED: you fell in love with the mountains
WEED: im glad to hear that
FOG: i will never forget the first time i saw the mountains
FOG: what are you up to right now?
WEED: its a long story, but can we meet now if you want and have lunch?
WEED: i pay for mine, dont worry im not going to use you
FOG: ok that works for me im hungry
WEED: ok where do you live?
WEED: i am in X neighborhood, do you know it?
FOG: yes, im in Y neighborhoood. come join me on my patio and we will eat and continue this conversation
WEED: your patio?
WEED: where is it?
FOG: *MY ADDRESS*
WEED: i know where it is
WEED: i will organize myself a little and let you know before leaving
FOG: sounds good
WEED: *some emoji of a latino dude with a moustache and bowl cut* *20 MINUTES LATER*
WEED: im on my way
WEED: taking a taxi
FOG: ok! *30 MINUTES LATER*
WEED: hey
WEED: where are you?
WEED: what is the name of the place where you are?
FOG: i am right beside X restaurant
WEED: are we going to X restaurant?
WEED: im here
FOG: lets go to my place, ill be outside shortly
WEED: where are you?
WEED: OK
WEED: alone in your house?
WEED: no i dont know you yet
WEED: where are you?
IN PERSON
I am wearing my atlantic city sweater and black and white checkered wool pants. I throw on steel toed purple boots and I walk out of my hostel. I see her to my right. She is wearing red converse sneakers and a white dress. I head nod at her and she walks up to me. Hay algo sobre ti, I say while looking into her eyes. She is confused, but she starts speaking english. I mention I need to go upstairs to get my wallet and to pee. She does not follow me, I see her take a seat at the table on the outdoor patio of the restaurant beside me; which is conveniently steps away from my hostel.
When I get back downstairs, she is drinking a beer. I sit right down, order a water and we talk in english. I tell her there is a duality in her energy. she is shaken and struggles to find words to explain her reaction towards it. she says she finds it unusual; no one has ever said that to her before. I go on to cold read a bit, saying she values connection, is loyal, and can get taken advantage of when her walls are down.
Conversation drifts over into travel and I use Bacchus' tourist frame; I ask her where she would go if she were to travel. She says she would go to Amsterdam - and the first thing she's gonna do is go smoke weed at one of the bars. She is so stimulated it makes me think she's actually living it in her head. Some homeless guy comes begging for food but I politely shoo him away and ask her to continue. The second thing she is going to do is go see the strippers. She apologizes for having a dirty mind, I tell her there's no judgement.
We start talking about our jobs, she is in UX design and is quite passionate about it - rambling on about the empathy needed for the job. She turns it over to me and I continue my bullshit story about being a kindergarten teacher, and why I decided to start doing that. She thinks its quite sweet.
Right before I sense the topic is about to die, I tell her I have a question for her. The air is thick with anticipation. What are her love languages? She starts melting and describes the feeling she gets of her heart beating out of her chest. Right at this moment another homeless guy interrupts us and begs for food. Noooooo! He goes away and I ask her to continue. She talks about how she gets into a state of flow. It doesn't seem to have anything to do with love languages, but is a key of hers nonetheless. Right at the peak of all this, she's starting to lean in, and I thread cut and ask her if she wants to do some weed. She's interested and very eager.
We split the bill and head up to my apartment. We are standing at the kitchen island, and I show her my THC/CBD oil. We both eat some. She tells a secret - her mom works on a farm and grows weed. Sexual tension is consuming us. I start some kino, narrow the distance between us, and compare our palm lines - but she becomes very straightforward, basically telling me to cut the bullshit and saying that she just wants sex.
We head over to my bed and I kiss her neck but she says is uncomfortable. So I back off for a few minutes. I focus on starting my laptop, which is going through some update. While I'm doing this, she is walking around...observing my place....eating more of the oil...settling in. Finally, we end up on the bed together again. She is talking about the things she loves most in her life. She says weed is #2. and that #1 is herself. And then.. she says that #3 is sex. Silence. We are holding eye contact. We both lean in at the same time and start kissing.
The clothes fly off, and we fuck a few times - she is ridiculously passionate and sexually open - nothing like I've seen with north american women. Overall, a wonderful, eye opening experience.
As she's heading out,, I tell her to text me when she gets home, for safety reasons.. but when she texts me that she got home, i act as if she was setting a frame of telling me what she was doing. So I tell her what I'm doing. I tell her I'm eating pizza.
SUMMARY: she's a 25 year old venezuelan DJ with purple hair. A little bit hipstery. I met her on Bumble. She invited me over to her apartment. I was too slow to escalate which caused resistance from her. The most I did was eat her out for a short amount of time. (barely even counts). Consider this whole interaction a fuckup.
ONLINE
Our initial conversation was marked by some cocky-funny banter and social frame. I made a couple of mistakes, like over-investing, DHV'ing myself slightly too heavy. As well, I misframed, causing me to have to double text. Over on whatsapp, she apologized for her slow replies, and then moved things forward quickly with me and invited me over to her place.
JANUARY 11, 2021
DJ: hey
FOG: hey trouble
DJ: how are you?
FOG: good, theres something about you DJ (mistake - is never received as intended)
DJ: what would you like to know
FOG: how happy are you in your life from 1-10? 10 being the best
DJ: in this moment i think a 7
FOG: that is because you have not met me yet. once you meet me, there is no doubt your life will go to a 10
DJ: hahahahahahah
DJ: i love your confidence
DJ: how happy are you?
FOG: haha 8.5. but only because i expect great things from myself. i keep pushing myself so i can get to a 9 and stay there forever (mistake)
DJ: great
DJ: what are you doing in medellin?
FOG: i live here. this is my new home.
DJ: where are you from?
FOG: guess
DJ: mmmm
DJ: give me hints
DJ: this is very difficult
FOG: starts with a C, ends with an A
DJ: um. canada? hahaha
FOG: good guess DJ. last question. what are your 2 best qualities besides your appearance?
DJ: i would say that i cook very good and i give very good hugs
FOG: thats great, i definitely think youre worth getting to know. do you have whatsapp
DJ: haha yes
DJ: you have IG?
FOG: no, i used to spend a lot of time on social media so im going through a social media detox because it was killing my business productivity. let me get your # instead (mistake) JANUARY 12TH, 2021
FOG: message me on whatsapp XXX-XXX-XXXX JANUARY 13TH, 2021
DJ: heyyyy
DJ: its DJ
DJ: *some strange emoji*
FOG: haha hi DJ. nice to have you here. sure is better than the other place JANUARY 14TH, 2021
DJ: hahahaha
DJ: yes
DJ: on the other hand i answer every 1000 years JANUARY 15TH, 2021
FOG: if you answer every 1000 years then i am 169 years old (possible mistake)
DJ: hahah but i see that you are worse than me
FOG: haha you are funny. i think we can skip the 1000 year replies and get together at some point.
DJ: hahahaha
DJ: it seems like a good plan JANUARY 16TH, 2021
FOG: ok! whats your schedule?
DJ: i can almost every day
FOG: im free tomorrow or monday. whats your preference?
DJ: and tonight?
FOG: i can do tonight. what are you up to right now?
DJ: nothing haha. im free
DJ: if you want you can come here to my house. maybe we can buy some drinks...beer or something...and we can talk, see a movie, do something...what do you think?
FOG: that works. let me know your address and i can be over in a bit
DJ: *address*
FOG: ok i need to get organized. ill let you know when im on my way
DJ: okay. if you can buy beers better *monkey face*
FOG: i can try...if not, do you smoke weed?
DJ: yeaah. you have?
FOG: i have some really good THC/CBD oil
DJ: oh nice
FOG: what kind of beer
DJ: club colombia? this is good
FOG: on my way
FOG: im here
DJ: hey. its apartment X JANUARY 17TH, 2021
FOG: hey flower girl, made it home safe and sound
DJ: great!!
DJ: rest *kissy face*
IN PERSON
- Wearing black shorts, purple boots, a black long sleeve shirt, and a super classy green vintage jacket over top.
- Took an uber to her place during the lockdown which was illegal. her place was outside of my neighborhood in a weird part of town, didn't know if was sketchy or not. i felt this stimulation from this risk would come out through my vibe.
- When I got in we were standing in the kitchen, I noticed she had strong attraction for me, one of the first things we did was take some CBD/THC oil. Weed makes me stupid socially, I don't ever want to use it again while I'm with a girl.
- I presented an open loop, then told her I'd resolve it after I took the oil. I resolved the loop by cold reading her about her duality. Here was her reaction: she immediately crossed her arms, said she was cold and went to her room to put on a sweater. then came back and invited me to sit outside on her patio, which we did. A couple things/mistakes happened here. In the moment, I interpreted it as her being uncomfortable about the cold read and moving the interaction backwards. What really happened was an escalation window triggered by the stimulation. I could have gone to her room with her. On top of that, the cold read triggered her to lead and ask for compliance. It should have been reversed - I need to get better at asking for compliance after emotional stimulation.
- On the patio, we sat in our own chairs. During this time, there was strong eye contact and touching between us, and IOIs from her.
- I asked about her love languages, she said it was a good question but that she wasn't looking for love...Immediately I changed the subject to something irrelevant. The mistake here was not asking for compliance to move the interaction forward, spitballing further about feelings of love to generate stronger stimulation, or transitioning to sexual arousal.
- To spark kino, I squeezed her leg. Then I started comparing our palm lines. This girl is taller than me, and when we started comparing palm lines, she brought up how her hands were bigger than mine, and how she was taller than me. I did not react much, just said she was like 7 feet tall, but I knew that the fact this difference was brought up verbally could work against me. Eventually, we were sitting with our legs touching and she was actively touching me.
- At one point, we are holding extremely strong eye contact, but there's two stupid, useless thoughts in the back of my head preventing me from acting: 1) i wanna kiss her neck, but her hairs in the way, i would have to move her hair first, presenting an obstacle 2) i am hesitant to lean in ever since hearing through the grapevine that bacchus does not suggest it. Too hesitant to even verbally escalate the vibe with a "what are we gonna do about this between us?"
- when i did kiss her neck, she was mildly resistant. after a couple times of this, she asked, "do you like kissing?" and i was confused about the meaning of this. just asked her it back.
- Then we went back into the kitchen, we were standing in there for a while....She touched my hair and said she liked it. Then she started re-arranging it...she tucked it behind my ears (A couple girls have done this now...when I look in the mirror later, I see they made my hair look better). While we were standing in the kitchen she also called me cute. FUCK. Not what i want to hear.
- at one point, i grabbed her hands, i pulled her in, we ended up embracing each other in a hug (so.....beta).
- I realized I was waiting for her to lead, when I should have been doing the leading..., so I asked her what kind of movies she likes.....we agreed to watch one in her room.
- We cuddled in her bed and watched a movie, periodically making out but she'd always stop it short. She kept wanting me to "watch the movie" which is total bullshit cuz she had seen it 5 times, shes obviously more interested in the movie than the guy beside her. the movie was insane though. really good. She ordered a pizza, and wanted me to pay for it....I faked not having any money.
- then i got past the resistance. i got her pants off and i started eating her out. i had to be very gentle with her...and just as we were getting into it the pizza arrived. So we stopped.
- We went downstairs to get the pizza, came back and sat on the bed and ate...after we were done, I didn't immediately escalate. Because I didn't want the proximity of me making another move to be so close to being done eating the pizza....like I didn't want to come across as just waiting for us to be done eating so we could continue...
- When I finally did escalate again a bit again, she brought up the excuse of watching the movie again...and when I complied, I knew I was fucked. Shortly after this, there was a sex scene in the movie. After this scene, I noticed her body shift. I started wondering if I should escalate again right after the sex scene...herd behavior type shit, if others are doing it, then it makes sense for us to be doing it too...but I thought, would the proximity be cringey. Hm.
- Later, I got more aggressive and started kissing her all over her body (probably the wrong style of escalation - should have gotten on top of her)....When I did this, she said she wasn't down for it and then stated shortly after she was starting to feel high/drowsy. I completely backed off after this, till she re-initiated touching me.
- It was getting late, she suggested we fall asleep. I started running my finger on her arm, but then she's like, "aren't we falling asleep?" I complied.
NOTES
- Failures like this one hurt, but help me to understand my weak points, and why i wont succeed at higher levels.
- Game is a language, and im feeling like its tough to communicate
- Missed escalation windows, and when I did escalate, I was not rhythmic or aggressive enough with it.
- Lots of useless thoughts in my head that I should have ignored.
- Need to incorporate more elements like qualification and bigger compliance asks into my game; in other words, fill it out
- She was definitely more submissive than anything, but was unable to cement a strong dynamic between us/ cement her submissiveness to me
- As we lied in bed something seemed off, and I got a weird vibe from her at one point. I was really high and it seemed like we should have been talking, not watching the movie....no emotional stimulation, got lazy.
- She still had a look of attraction for me the next morning
SUMMARY: english speaking, 23 years old, self-described as opinionated, shoulder length jet black curly hair with a septum piercing, likes LSD and has a troubled past. From a different city in colombia, visiting Medellin. I suspected she had a personality disorder of some kind, so I wasn't surprised to find out she has OCD. Met her on bumble. She arrived to my apartment for a short amount of time, then we went out to get a drink. Afterwards, I pulled her back to my place. I was impressed with my verbals for this set.
1.0 ONLINE
Our conversation online was marked by social frame, and a slight tourist frame. lots of investment from her. She flaked once on me.
JANUARY 17TH
MISS FRIZZLE: *in spanish* heyyy how are you?
FOG: hey pretty, do you speak english?
MISS FRIZZLE: *in english* heyyy yeah i do
MISS FRIZZLE: whats up
MISS FRIZZLE: are you living in medellin?
FOG: yea i work here. what about you?
MISS FRIZZLE: im visiting a friend
MISS FRIZZLE: and exploring the city
MISS FRIZZLE: considering moving here
MISS FRIZZLE: what do you think about life here?
FOG: amazing. it doesnt get any better than here. probably the best choice you will make.
FOG: where are you from? normally i can guess but with you i have no idea
MISS FRIZZLE: yeah ive been here a week and i love it already
MISS FRIZZLE: like ive been here before but with my family so its not the same
MISS FRIZZLE: but im excited to live here
MISS FRIZZLE: plus one of my best friends lives here so i feel like home
MISS FRIZZLE: haha whyyyyy
MISS FRIZZLE: im originally from City X
MISS FRIZZLE: but i lived 15 years in City Y
MISS FRIZZLE: and i lived there until june last year that i went to City X with my parents
MISS FRIZZLE: but i wanna live anywhere but there hahaha so thats the plan
MISS FRIZZLE: how long have you been living here?
FOG: its always different when you visit without your parents. it gives you the freedom to experience things on your own terms
FOG: i actually just moved here myself not too long ago....
FOG: and not just the freedom to experience things on your own terms, but the power and possibility to completely reinvent yourself
MISS FRIZZLE: yeahhh and i mean, i love my parents but i moved out when i was 16 so im using to doing other things when i lived alone
MISS FRIZZLE: cool, why did you decide to come here?
MISS FRIZZLE: totally, i need to move here so i can get out of the life i was living in city Y
FOG i came here to transform and broaden my perspective with the experience of a different culture
FOG: you seem interesting miss frizzle. i think we can meet and get to know each other JANUARY 18TH
MISS FRIZZLE: do you have whatsapp?
MISS FRIZZLE: text me XXX-XXX-XXXX
MISS FRIZZLE: i alway forget to reply here *TEXTING HER*
FOG: hey miss frizzle, nice to have you here. sure is better than the other place - fog
MISS FRIZZLE: heeeey
MISS FRIZZLE: yeah id rather talk here because i never use the other app so never know when you get messages lol
MISS FRIZZLE: what are you doing?
FOG: finishing up some chores and then im going to be free for a while. whats your plans for today?
MISS FRIZZLE: same i gotta work till 4pm and then i think im going to X neighborhood (my neighborhood) because i have to buy some stuff and ill stay there and grab beer or something
MISS FRIZZLE: where are you staying?
FOG: thats funny, im on Y street in X neighborhood. lets meet after youre done your work and errands
MISS FRIZZLE: yess
MISS FRIZZLE: so ill text you when im near and we can meet up
FOG: sounds good *LATER THAT NIGHT, ON BUMBLE*
MISS FRIZZLE: heeeeeeeyyyyy
MISS FRIZZLE: soo i just came back to my friends house
MISS FRIZZLE: and i wasnt able to contact you
MISS FRIZZLE: i was in a mall trying on bathing suits and i broke my phone :/
MISS FRIZZLE: like the screen works but i cant type anything.
MISS FRIZZLE: idk its weird
MISS FRIZZLE: so i know you were probably waiting for me but i didnt know how to contact you
MISS FRIZZLE: can we meet tomorrow? JANUARY 19TH, 2021
FOG: i understand, that is weird. i can meet today, let me know what time works for you
MISS FRIZZLE: around 7pm?
FOG: 7PM works. meet me on my cozy patio. we will sit, have a drink, and get to know each other
MISS FRIZZLE: sounds perfect *later*
MISS FRIZZLE: heeey
MISS FRIZZLE: whats your phone number?
FOG: XXX-XXX-XXXX *logistical texting happens on whatsapp*
2.0 IN-PERSON
Earlier in the day, I had been warming up for an upcoming daygame sprint. I was feeling positive, because I can now hold a super basic conversation in spanish, and i had also noticed a dominant energy emanating from my vibe after drinking a smoothie.
Frizzle and I arranged to get together around 7PM, she showed up closer to 8:30. For this one - I wore purple boots, my atlantic city sweater, sweatpants with a black and white pattern on them of legos, eyes, diamonds, explosions etc and words saying "boom" and "money" on it. It's more of a fuckboy look. She was wearing a skirt, a white shirt, and a really striking blood-orange jacket with an interesting texture. Classy.
She arrived downstairs at the entrance to my hostel - I went and met her, and brought her up to my loft. She walked over to the kitchen island and stood there, I sensed a little bit of hesitance from her. I told her about her duality in her energy that was just so unusual - she seemed shocked and crossed her arms. Then I asked for compliance. I said - I'll tell you about it over here and gestured to my bed. And walked over to sit on my bed. She walked over to my bed with me but was hesitant to sit down. I did not explain her duality - instead I got her talking about where she would go if she could go anywhere in the world - she said she would go visit her mom. During this time I gave her the laptop to play a song; she said she liked deep house, and was sitting down on my bed, but then my laptop died when she was searching for a song (cuz its a piece of shit) Then she said she wanted to and get a drink, which was fine with me. Guess the laptop dying put a dent in things. As I was lacing up my boots, I got her to tell me more about her relationship with her parents - a lot of which I didn't hear because I was focused on getting my boots on.
We head out the door and scope out a place to sit on the massive party patio outside my hostel. I order a coke, she orders a huge alcoholic drink that is bigger than her head. Below I've listed to topics of conversation between us, not necessarily in order.
2.1 SOCIAL FRAME
- Following the Social Herd. When youre a teenager, youre just following the herd, cuz its all you know and you wanna fit in..but once you get older, you're not as likely to follow the social standards. You reject them and start thinking for yourself. this came up after i asked her what she would do if she could go back to 16 knowing what she knows now.
-Anonymity. She's from a small town and talked about how its impossible to do anything without someone seeing you and texting all their friends about it. I told her I grew up in a similar situation but leaving the country gave me the opportunity to do what i want with a sense of privacy and anonymity. She seemed excited about the possibility of anonymity she would experience moving to Medellin.
-Cultural Differences. she asked where i was gonna travel next, i mentioned i would stay in medellin but periodically travel to peru and other countries. i told her i was curious about the differences in culture between south american countries......she said how the differences arent that apparent to her - i told her culture has a tendency to be very subtle, especially when youre used to it. and i said when i came here, the difference in cultures was amplified - leading to her asking me about cultural differences. I contrasted south american and north american culture; I said I find south americans to be less judgemental and more sensual - she partly agreed - she says colombians are judgmental, especially about social status; and she hates it; i should have specified south americans being less judgmental about sex.
- Age and Qualification. she asked how old i was - i said 69 while holding eye contact. then got her to guess. i said that "i always hear i look a lot younger" to help with my social frame. when she told me her age, i told her she was young - she immediately qualified to me that her ex was my age.
- Fake People and Masks. She discussed how people are fake and have these masks on - I brought up how it was similar to the pandemic, where everyone is wearing masks.
2.2 EMOTIONAL STIMULATION
- Her Timeline. Asked if there were any memories associated with the drink she got, because she said it was her favorite. She told me a story about how she quit drinking for a year, and how she had been severely hungover in front of all her family. Other life events - when I asked about her tattoos, initially she said they meant nothing and was hesitant to take her jacket off to show me. but then she took off her jacket and showed them to me. There was an emotional story behind her alien tattoo; she said she drew the alien in different settings cuz it helped her get through 6 months of really bad anxiety.
- Colombian Inequality. We discussed the inequality in the country; She is desperate to make a difference but doesn't know how. I said imagine you could wake up tomorrow and you're all of a sudden making a huge difference. She asked how? I wasn't sure what to say, and just spitballed random bullshit, but when i told her she's likely making a bigger difference than she thinks - cuz she is so caring - she beamed. - Colombian Attitudes Towards Foreigners. She mentioned colombian girls like foreigners... i asked her what it looks like when colombian girls suck up to foreigners. She told me about how her sister brought home a gringo and her grandma was fascinated, yet didn't give a shit when she would bring home colombians.
- Abusive Relationships. Talked alot about relationships in general - in particular abusive relationships, and being blamed for something you didnt do. She had never experienced an abusive relationship but all her friends are in abusive relationships; this led to her and i discussing her best friend's abusive relationship and how she has probably gotten too comfortable. Talking about relationships is going to be my new favorite stimulation topic.
- Open Relationships, Open Communication. She says she's a firm believer in good communication in open relationships; Her example was that if you're mad your partner has been flirting with another person, then its important to talk about it. We discussed how it can lead to a better connection.
- Relationship with her Mom. She said she's really close with her mom, I asked her what the most significant moment of her life is with her mom - nothing came to her mind, but got her talking - i mentioned she was lucky to have such a good relationship with her mom, cuz some people don't. she brought up mommy issues, she said how her friend was going to date a woman the same age as her mom
- You're Deep! When she said something thoughtful, I told her how deep it was - She gushed.
-Drinking Coffee. she described how her favorite thing would be to sit at her window drinking coffee, i got her to describe how she would feel and what would be going on outside the window
2.3 SEXUAL AROUSAL
- Drug Talk. mentioned how i get full body orgasms when i smoke weed. Talking about the effects of different kinds of tea on me, and how it can increase my libido.
- Age. Told her I'm 69 years old.
2.4 CLOSING
- Closing was a little rough. I am extremely sensitive to caffeine. I started drinking my coke, and noticed my facial muscles and body start to get tight towards the end....i could see this tight energy get transferred between us...was afraid I was gonna fuck up the vibe.
- Seeded the pull by asking if she wanted to smoke weed after. And how I had CBD/THC oil. She said she had brought a joint, we agreed to smoke.
- Near the end of her drink, I said, "well, shall we get out of here?" She brought up smoking on my patio in my place. I said this was the patio, but I wanted to to smoke and listen to music at my place with her. She agreed after thinking briefly in her head about it, but it was too direct of a close, not very smooth - not enough plausible deniabillity - i noticed an attraction hit. should have soft closed.
- I changed the topic quickly and brought up her favorite drug, LSD right after i invited her home (didn't want any bad feelings to cement)...she got sketched out. Need to be careful with proximity of drug talk and closing.
- As we were leaving, she was putting on her mask. We had been sort of planning to go down the street to smoke the joint at a park, but then she asked where we were going. I told her we were going to go smoke in my hostel. She agreed.
- When we got up to my apartment, we couldn't get the window open. I wasn't aware of the smoking rules in my apartment. I took a risk and let her smoke inside. I am happy I didn't add the extra step of going back outside to smoke.
- We smoked, I started feeling more dominant, but was on the verge of saying socially dumb things. She tried to hold a frame of her teaching me a lot of spanish - like an authority frame - i rejected it and escalated.
- No resistance, my rhythm was great, very passionate sex...her orgasms were non stop and it sounded like she was having an exorcism or giving birth... the craziest, deepest moans. Her pussy death gripped my dick when she would come.
2.5 OTHER NOTES
- Snow. Girls here have never seen snow; it is novel to them - Her Body Language. When we were on the date, she had neutral body language, but eventually she started touching her hair, and rubbing her shoulder.
- Touch. Periodic arm touches at the table; sometimes i put my arm on her shoulder; mostly friendly touch.
- Running Out of Topics. Did feel like i was running out of topics towards the end. Whenever i was worried about what i would say next, i just shut up and she filled in the gaps, sometimes felt like i was recycling stimulators
- Too Logical. Found myself leaning a little too logical at some points, makes me think about the "how old are you in dog years" gambit i came up with. its definitely way too logical.
- Homeless Beggars: The homeless street hustlers were out in full force, probably got interrupted by 5 of them - she kept giving them money.
- Extending Stimulation. Sometimes she would be stimulated, and holding eye contact, but then i would say something and the stimulation would stop. Gotta hold those moments by shutting up or learn to amplify them (maybe with kinesthestic energy transfer and lip charging)
- 2CB. Last couple of chicks have talked about how the 2CB is popular here, but is laced with ketamine, so everyone is just fucked while partying
- Seeing Her Again. As she was leaving, she said "you have my number, text me." We are planning to hang out again today.
Summary: in the afternoon, i pulled a tourist girl from the street into my room within 5 minutes of meeting her. but messed up physical escalation - she lost attraction and left.
i was walking back to my hostel from getting food. i was approaching a busy street corner with traffic lights, where i would have to turn and cross the street. as i was getting closer to the area where i would wait for my crossing, i noticed a girl with a purple mask walking towards me - if we both had continued walking straight, we would have passed each other. as i noticed her, she noticed me too and her body language was open. i stopped and waited for the light, my attention was focused on the area where i was going to be crossing to.. i notice her entry into my awareness radius at my side to wait at the light near me. i look over at her and asked if she spoke english. she spoke mostly spanish.
she seems drawn in so we walk across the light together and stopped at the sidewalk on the other side. then this conversation happens:
fog: what are you doing right now? caley: gathering for a passage to cali fog: what is a passage caley: return ticket fog: you are here temporarily caley: yes fog: i just realized something about you caley: what? fog: there is a duality in your energy caley: in what way? fog: i will tell you. do you know what a barrier is? caley: no fog: when you meet a person you put up a barrier to protect yourself fog: it prevents you from having a full connection with the other person fog: but when the barrier falls down, you are open and trusting and loyal fog: and can get manipulated caley: what can you tell me about the energy? fog: your energy? caley: yes fog: i will tell you fog: we will sit down
after the brief stim, she wants to know more, i view this curiosity as a good time to increase compliance. i motion for her to follow me to find somewhere to sit. we start walking. then turn and go around the corner and walk onto my street.
as soon as we get around the corner, i stop her to qualify her:
fog: how old are you caley: 19 fog: are you sure? caley: yes fog: you are young caley: how old are you? fog: 69 caley: you look very young fog: its my skincare routine
caley gives me a blank stare. i ask for compliance.
fog: lets go smoke weed. you smoke? caley: yes fog: we will go on my patio caley: is it safe? fog: yes are you a serial killer? caley:*laughs* no
caley does not understand my joke after the qualification, so i go back to the compliance bounce. this time i am more aggressive and directly ask her to smoke weed on my patio.
shes open to it, so i motion for her to follow me again, and we walk about 200 meters to my hostel. on the way she is speaking in spanish, i reply in english. we dont understand each other.
we walk up to my apartment. as soon as we walk in she asks me about social frame:
caley: how long have you been here? fog: 3 months fog: how long have you been here? caley: 3 weeks.
my answer triggers her to walk towards the bed, so we go and sit down on it together. i put on some music. i notice i am going from cool cucumber to super nervous. fuck. then, she makes an observation about me:
caley: your pupils are dilated fog: its cause im high
i reduce the space between us and aim to kiss her neck. but its way too early and uncalibrated. she leans away. i've blown it - she gets up and leaves. I know what I'll be working on...
FRIZZLE'S FANTASIES
Frizzle came over again for a few nights before going back to her hometown. When she first saw me again, she told me about how she had been thinking more about if people blame her for things she didn't do - she said a lot of people do it, including her best friends. she described how her friends accuse her of sleeping with their boyfriends. the importance of this is that the stimulator took a while to download but it triggered extra emotional investment.
Then we were sitting on my bed, and i asked her what she would do if she won the lottery - she said she would invest in real estate. She flipped it back over to me. I told her I would donate it to the poor people in colombia. I said it in a vibe that I expected her to do the same...and then she qualified to me and launched into a story about how she wants to help poor people too...she also asked me what I had done that day...I said "errands" with a mischevious smile on my face. She did not believe me.
I realized that frizzle could be a PPP when we were fucking later. I wondered if she was only hanging with me cuz im white, and its a status symbol in south america. I was reminded of the previous day where she had been highly opinionated about social acceptance.
When we got around to talking, I asked her what her biggest dream was. I thought it was the perfect question for a PPP. She had a good reaction to this question. "you ask me such big questions" She said her biggest dream was to be an authority figure; sharing her knowledge with people in a documentary on TV. She asked me what mine was; I told her I have a fantasy of extreme intelligence, and a fantasy of indulgence where i ease into things. She was engaged by the fantasy of extreme intelligence, then became super relaxed by the fantasy of indulgence. I consider this extended stimulation. Since, I brought up these fantasies in other sets and they are really effective at triggering stimulation.
SUMMARY: 27 year old submissive colombian girl w curly hair who speaks english...reminded me of an old f buddy. she works across the street and is a bartender..found her on tinder and we went on a date. there was lots of great chemistry between us. afterwards, i pulled her back to my place to bang her. earlier in the day, had gone daygaming and got 5 numbers in 6-7 approaches.
TEXT RECORDS
Our conversation was mostly social frame..she ignored me once, then when i followed up (there was not intended to be an exclamation mark in my follow up) she apologized for ignoring me, built similarity ("you read my mind") and initiated meeting that day. when this happened, i knew i had high odds of bedding her.
january 22, 2021
fog: do you speak a lot of english? january 23, 2021
k: i can have a fluent conversation if thats what you mean
k: i probably lose the rope on some word because i dont speak it every day. january 24, 2021
fog: okay cool are you from medellin?
k: no im from City X
k: a smaller city
k: i arrived to medellin a year ago, well if we take into account this quarantine, 4 months ago january 25, 2021
fog: i have heard a lot about the people of City X
k: and what have you heard january 26, 2021
fog: i think i will tell you when we meet to drink coffee
k: so i could say its a serious conversation
fog: yes, a very serious perspective. i will be honest with you
k: i love how it sounds
fog: ok i have time to meet you this week. what is your schedule? february 8, 2021
fog: !? february 9th, 2021 - 11:31am
k: hey!
k: i was very busy at work. i had a new bar opening february 9th, 2021 - 1:34pm
k: we could go for that coffee today if you want
fog: sure, it works. what time you think?
k: at 6pm?
k: theres a nice place in X neighborhood called Y
k: if you prefer, write to me on whatsapp XXX-XXX-XXXX *I TEXT HER* february 9, 2021 - 5:03PM
fog: hey k, nice to have you here, it is better than the other place
k: its better, at least i dont forget so easily to answer
k: i have that bad habit
fog: me too
fog: Y at 6:30
k: yup
k: read my mind with the time *LOGISTICAL TEXTING HAPPENS*
IN-PERSON
its nightime. i am wearing.... a black longsleeve shirt, blue boots, and black shorts..she is waiting out front of the coffee shop she suggested we meet at....wearing sneakers, a tank top, jeans, and some furry velvet sweater thing. super casual. interesting choice about the velvet. got me thinking she could lean OCP. there is a certain softness between us when i walk up to her. we click pretty good and walk into the shop...i tell her im not in the mood for coffee so we walk back outside...it seems she is compliant to following my lead in general.
i am working on aligning new keys with new changes in the environment. so as soon as we get outside, i tell her theres something strange and unusual about her..i run the duality gambit on her ...describing how a barrier can get in the way of a good connection. and how manipulation can happen to her when its down. it hits pretty heavy. she becomes engaged with me and is in a state of amazement. "how do you know this about me?" she frantically inquires. i tell her its in her eyes as i start drifting away down the street. she follows.
We go around the corner onto a new street. theres a restaurant with outdoor seating called X, and as we approach it i point and say lets go there. she says "i know a better place." I did not like the dynamic this was setting. why would she not be compliant? maybe she wanted to take some of the power back, because the duality gambit made her feel vulnerable. or because of how i approached making the decision to go to this restaurant. I was a little bit caught off guard..so I aimed to make it seem like I was making the decision to go to this better place further down the street. So, as she was looking at me after she said she knew a better place, I said "naaah. ok, lets go." and then started walking. she was confused by what I had meant, but followed me. It was my hope to override the frame of the interaction here to be more in my favor.
As we walked down the street, I walked in front of her and stimulated her again. i can't remember what i did, but i think i established an open loop then ignored her. She became intensely curious and started poking me in the back, trying to get my attention.
THE RESTAURANT
we get into the restaurant and look for a place to sit on the outdoor patio. i can definitely lead stronger here as im looking for it to be a shared decision between us. in the future, for small decisions like these, its probably better to just choose.. not knowing where to sit is a DLV cuz it means i dont know the place.
she asks about what i am going to get; i tell her a pop, shes going to get tequila. she orders for us; and she chooses and orders a pop for me.....when it arrives, and i take my first sip, she asks if i like it. i didn't know this at the time, but she's a bartender, and loves to give people the experience of a drink...she gets validation for choosing drinks for people that they like... So, I do not give her immediate validation. I tease her by saying, "Hm. I'm not sure if I like it yet. I'll know in a few minutes" She hated it !!! lol
Conversation after this, however, is turning a little bit sparse. It feels like there's a bit of dead in the air so it's time to start amping things up. We get to talking. Topics included:
- anonymity and being free to be the person who you wanna be
- travel and cultural differences
- love languages
- being lied to in a relationship
- music tastes
- biggest dreams
CLOSING
Later on, it's getting about time to leave. Things have gone well; she's in my arms and theres been plenty of eye fucking between us. She cuddled up to me after I made her submit to me. I did this by disagreeing with her. then qualifying her. Now, there is a bit of silence between us and she is stirring her drink. i hesitate on approaching the topic of leaving - i didnt want to be super direct. then she comments on how the restaurant was filling up. i viewed it as her subcomming she wanted to leave. i asked her if the lack of space made her feel tight. she said yes. i said ok lets get out of here. we pay the bill.
i havent directly said where we are going next. - but she is compliant, and will follow me around wherever. plus, I have seeded the pull by telling her i wanted her opinion on some music later...so i think its gonna be pretty easy to get to my place.
Shortly before we leave the restaurant, it starts raining heavy, and some of it is dripping on our table. We go stand on the porch and watch the rainfall. we agree its pouring too much to leave, but i also let her know i live 2 seconds away. she gave me a social frame objection, "you live right across from where i work!".. it seemed like an issue.. i said, i always walk the other way. shortly after she says she thinks the rain has died down enough (its still raining hard) and we leave the restaurant. i offer my hand to her and she grabs it as we hurry through the rain together to the place im staying at.
we go up to my apartment; she gets in a chair while i stand in front of her. there's more eye staring...i hold the stare and move closer and closer to her until we are kissing.
then the clothes come off. we fuck. her whimpers and moans drive me crazy. my shin gets a massive, painful friction burn - i rub it alot against the edge of my bed while pounding her in adapted missionary
it was a good time, we plan to see each other again.
RANDOM NOTES
- i picked up on her submissive body language and asked for compliance based off of it. There was a moment where she leaned her elbows on the table and put her face in her hands. Posturing like this indicates submission. When I saw this, I increased kino and grabbed her hand, which escalated the vibe.
- testing out "you remind me of my ex" - it triggered an attainability issue and turned the interaction south, she thought it was really bad. i firmly told her that i like her, not my ex, which fixed it. Currently working on verbally establishing a dynamic. Lately I never speak of the relationship and what it is between me and the girl - incorporating more comments like these will balance out my verbals about 3rd parties.
- at one point, i realized there has been a platonic vibe for a bit..mostly caused by my vocal tones. i hadn't talked to her in a sexual voice at all lately... or triggered her to respond to me in a sexual way ... so i fixed this really quick.
- she wasnt sitting the closest to me cuz we were on separate chairs, but then she came closer to show me something on her phone. i was aggressive here and pulled her chair over way closer to me, so she could be right beside me.
SUMMARY: this was not a good experience for me, and barely even worth talking about. shes a 26 year old colombian girl from the coast. spoke straight spanish, no english. she came straight to my place from tinder and i banged her. when she got here, i was lazy so there was no fire between us. i didnt even try! it was just a quick, unsatisfying hookup...
TEXT RECORDS
there was a bit of testing from her...i displayed confidence, which helped me pass.
in between, i peppered in social frame qualification. the "i see you are not a serial killer" line is a new line im testing out in my structure. before i used to just straight up ask them if they were a serial killer. but looking at it now, i see it can be used for social frame qualy.
when she told me it was an option for her to meet after 9pm, and also opened her schedule completely up to me, i knew it was high odds of getting laid.
FEBRUARY 11, 2021
FOG: hey future lover
TOAST: haha will i be your future love?
FOG: yes...you're from medellin?
TOAST: i live in X neghborhood, but i am not from here, im from the coast
TOAST: and you?
FOG: i see.. yes, im from medellin..and you are 26 years old?
TOAST: yes im 26 and you?
TOAST: says youre 28 in your bio FEBRUARY 12, 2021
FOG: you young
TOAST: a child for you
TOAST: but dont be confused by my age, you are more mature than anyone of 30 years
FOG: it's fine. what do you do for work in medellin?
TOAST: mm i work at a cafe for the moment FEBRUARY 13TH, 2021
FOG: i see you are not a serial killer. we can meet
TOAST: haha and how do you deduce that im not?
FOG: i tell you when we meet
TOAST: hahaha okay
TOAST: whenever you want, i can
TOAST: hahaha
FOG: i have time tomorrow or monday. what is your preference?
TOAST: monday is fine
TOAST: tomorrrow after 9pm FEBRUARY 15TH, 2021
FOG: ok, do you have whatsapp
TOAST: XXX-XXX-XXXX
*Texting her*
FOG: hey TOAST, it is good to have you here, it is better than the other place - fog
TOAST: hey
TOAST: how are you
FOG: i am good, what are you doing?
TOAST: nothing special at the moment
FOG: i think we meet
TOAST: where?
FOG: on my patio, we sit, drink and get to know us
TOAST: where do you live?
FOG: X neighborhood, you know?
TOAST: no, i dont know
FOG: X Street. do you need a taxi? i can get you one
TOAST: yes, i need to finish getting ready and ill let you know *LOGISTICAL TEXTING HAPPENS*
IN-PERSON
i was really tired and did not want to meet this girl/put effort into gaming her... - i thought about flaking on her, but my mind went back to previous times where i had lost a girl by waiting to meet her and felt regretful...so i decided to get it over with and get the experience.
i was wearing a black shirt, black shorts, and blue boots. she was wearing a sweater and a skirt...i meet her out on the street and we go into my apartment....she sits down and gets on her phone, doesn't seem to be too interested in me/ is acting quite neutral...i ask her the lottery question and she says she would use it to open a foundation for neglected children. it appears she has possibly been abused as a child, but i do not probe. instead i direct her over to my bed, where i try running the duality on her through the translator. she doesn't understand it. so i say fuck it and start physically escalating. she's not resistant. after eating her out, i screw her up her skirt.. her pussy tasted awful so i made sure to use a condom. she was good in bed, its likely she has a history of sexual abuse and sleeps around alot.
im taking a break after a pretty big sprint the last few months. put a lot of effort into daygame and online. in 2 months, i had ~16 dates. in 1 month, i got 4 LRs, 1 LR-, and 1 kiss. i made tons of improvement with my verbal skillset, and im feeling more confident with women than ever.
during this time, my game solely focused on the social frame and emotional keys, mixed in with compliance and gentle qualy. the verbals were extremely focused on stories. i didnt address/define the relationship much between me and the girl. after seeing a peruvian quickly seduce a few girls, i realized he did this alot and that its important. i think the place to address/define the relationship is in the sexual arousal phase - chase frames will be a useful tool here, but i also shouldnt be afraid to step up and suggest this is the start of something exciting between us, in the moment!
after the 2 keys, the girls would initiate taking the verbals down two different paths - they would either start a sexual arousal phase, or they would go back to social frame and start grilling me really, really hard on specifics. when i say sexual arousal phase, i mean they brought up defining shit like "what are you looking for" or "do you have a girlfriend". i lost lays because i messed up both paths. leading and handling the sexual arousal phase is a sticking point i plan to fix infield during my next sprint.
my fundamentals were at a peak, but i recently got my hair butchered by a couple of south american barbers. im pretty upset - the attraction from the girls has dropped drastically. it will be about 6 months before my amazing hair is back. for 2022, i hope to have my highest peak in fundamentals yet in all areas.
next up, im heading into southern colombia to check out the girls there
just spent a couple weeks in pereira, a mid sized shithole in colombia...went there cuz i heard the girls were slutty. i used it as a vacation from game to focus on learning spanish and starting my first business....
during this time i came to a realization about who i am and why girls reject me, in general.
its because im afraid, and always have been, to push the limits.. of developing emotional intimacy with any given woman....and of taking that relationship as far as it can possibly go in one night....,to the point where she becomes my girlfriend that night. NOT to the point where i bang her.
because of this internal resistance, i often come across as cold (and maybe a player), causing the relationship progress to stall out.
so, i am going to work on removing my own barriers around emotional intimacy and developing quick relationships. it will do wonders for my attainability.
I've just started smoking a joint on a street corner in front of a fence near a park in Bogota. im wearing blue boots, a hat, shorts, my atlantic city sweater and a black jacket. As I'm smoking, I spot in my peripherals a girl wearing a red dress and a long leather jacket walking towards me...my attention goes back to the joint, which has gone out., so i turn around to face the fence to get some privacy to light it, since weeds illegal here. i hear a voice behind me:
we start smoking and she asks me a couple social frame questions. its really breezy conversation, shes really friendly...then i tell her she reminds me of my ex. her face lights up and she touches her curly hair.
fog: it's because of your hair...but you have a different energy about you.
The joint is hitting super bad so she offers to reroll it. we go and sit on a bench in the park and she rerolls it. I start asking her some questions...like how long shes lived here, and what her fave animal is. she says its a dog, because dogs are really good friends. i cold read her that she's a really good friend, and she gets into why she is. i throw in the lottery question as well - she says she would travel to africa. Then, i quiz her on english. She does not know the word "strengths". We share a laugh that i am trying to throw her off track or something. After the laugh she asks for my number and we make loose plans to meet again sometime.
We don't smoke there on the bench - she takes me around the corner onto a quieter street where the cops are less likely to find us. we stop outside the entrance to a parking garage and start smoking. my plan is to continue emotional stimulation and start up sexual arousal.
i ask if anyones lied to her, and she says yes and explains a bit in broken english. she gets slightly agitated. i noticed this question often triggers girls to get amped up. she starts to grill me more on social frame. she wonders where im from, how old i am (i told her 69, but she didn't understand), how long ive been here, why i wanna live in bogota. its time to be attainable so i tell her i really want to live here - because the weather and the people here remind me of back home. i also tell her i think shes cute, and she blushes.
in general the vibe is good so i start seeding the close
i try turning the conversation sexual... i set up some sex talk by making an observation about the sex life of some strangers passing by...but she doesn't quite understand it...so i go back to the close.
fog: i have a bottle of wine at my place mila: *super enthusiastic* that is amazing!
we talk about something else briefly, but the verbals don't matter - i tune into my kinesthetic energy and focus it on her, while imagining fucking her. a wildly stimulated look appears on her face and we stare at each other with smiles on our faces.
she's really interested, but she still has to go to her dealers house, and mentions that. we make plans to drink it tomorrow at 5pm. she also wants me to come to her dealers house right now. i decide to leave her here, since it was a high point.
the texting afterwards
fog: hey mila nice to meet you, i just realized something - fog mila: hello!!! nice to meet you. excuse me, i brought your lighter without realizing it. mila: your name is fog? fog: yes fog: we see us tomorrow at 5. bring the lighter with you mila: great nice to meet you mila: yes
" in a parental vocal tone, which felt right for the situation
