Reaching New Levels of Awesome in NYC

[Davai]

I've talked before about these brief glimpses of game at the next level. It's these moments where I'm talking to the girl but I'm no longer chasing. I'm not trying to lead it towards sex. I'm just there, talking, being myself. The funniest thing is that when it happens it feels scary. It's so different from the way I've spent 99.998% of my life interacting with girls. I first started noticing this last month but it seems to be happening a bit more now. All I can say is cool, I'm looking forward to the shift. It might take another year to fully get there and that's OK. Once I do my options with women will blow up.

I'm really interested in talking to the most attractive women. I want to be consistently approaching them, reapproaching them, staying in set under pressure and in general doing whatever possible to speak with them as long as possible. In a way I think that going after hotter women may actually be easier. I'm more attracted and more willing to endure bullshit, fight through pressure, reapproach multiple times, etc. As opposed to another average girl who I might blow off as soon as things get tricky.

A theory, women respond well to good looking guys not just because of the physical looks, but because she associates good looking guys with game. That is, the two usually go together. She may give a good looking guy the benefit of the doubt, whereas a less unattractive guy has to do more to prove himself because she isn't inclined to believe he's got attractive qualities.

I'm still really interested in the idea of entitlement. Yesterday at work an exceptionally tall, skinny blonde girl sat down close to me. I'm about 84% sure she sat there because she wanted me to talk to her. We had exchanged glances earlier. I never talked to her. My thought process is something like, there's no way it will happen. I've never slept with a girl I met in the day. I can't make this happen. Contrast that to Ukraine, where we rolled up on stunning women all the time and it was easy and fun. Of course I would have opened her there, I felt entitled!

In Ukraine, as an American, you're wealthy, you can afford to eat anywhere and do anything, you have great status. My game in Ukraine was the same, the only thing that changed was entitlement. However, that simple change allowed me to thoughtlessly roll up on great looking women all day. Whereas in NYC I feel like a small, broke fish and I don't feel entitled. Interesting. However, I know this can be overcome. Distant Light was fucking 20, broke, living with his parents and he still made it happen with models all the time. It's possible.

The Night

Ended up with three different wingman, we opened some chicks. It was fun. I've reached the point where I have a group of really fucking solid wingman who go out a lot, approach a lot and are effective with women. It's great, especially compared to some of the bozos I went out with when I started. And they want to hang out with me, we all offer value to each other. Don't try to attract the people you want in your life. Instead, become the type of person you want to attract and then they'll come to you.

 

[Davai]

Went out to a bar in the East Village with my friend. Had a few beers, talked to some girls and ended up with Monica. Really cute, super tall! We ended up making out and it was good. Tried valiantly for the pull but it wasn't happening. In retrospect I would change my behavior. We were outside waiting for the Uber and it was fairly clear she wasn't going to let me go home with her. I kept aggressively pushing for it, but I should have backed off and started planning a date. I would definitely go out with this girl again.

The whole time I was with her I was trying to not chase, I was trying to just "be" for lack of a better word. And it's funny because you can't get to this state by trying, it's the opposite of trying. But I don't know a better way to go about it. Continually remind myself that I'm the prize, that sex is guaranteed, that I shouldn't chase. My results may actually go down as I figure this the fuck out, maybe. But long term it's going to be massive.

The parallels between poker and pickup are massive. In both cases you can do everything right and lose, or do everything wrong and win. Both teach you that you must focus on the action, you cannot worry about the result.

 

[Davai]

Only able to find a couple of sets last night. A common complaint of mine that NYC nightlife is disappointing. Stupid but we still had fun. Every time I go out I'm trying to drop expectations and have fun with the girl. No prerogative, instead I'm putting faith in the fact that we will hook up, even if I don't chase. It's weird because it's so different from how I've spent my entire life with girls. I still don't really understand it.

On a practical note, it would pay to start getting into some higher end venues. I know it's possible, I've just been lazy about it and also it usually means going solo because my wingmen can't get in. Regardless, it would be nice for maybe a Thursday or something.

 

[Davai]

I hit up a different Tuesday spot than normal. My buddy was supposed to be promoting but he never showed up. I was solo which is rare. It took me a long time to work up the nerve to do my first approach. Did it and I was shut out in 4 seconds flat. I saw an exceptionally cute girl walking by and I started to follow her. She went to the bar, it was crowded, I didn't try to open. Another 15 minutes of nothing, until I say to myself, fuck this man. If you don't make something happen, what's the point of even going out? I see that same cute girl again, approach her and we talk for 5 minutes. One thing that helped me a lot was a post I recently read about invisible attraction.

Invisible attraction = The hotter girls will give you very few, if any, signs that they're into you. They might give you one word answers, act bored, not try to keep the conversation going, etc. However, it's a front. On the inside they're actually attracted but they won't let you see that. So you have to power through and trust that she's attracted.

That was this girl. She was giving me nothing, I kept pushing. We broke off and I danced for a minute. Then I saw her sitting down alone. I sat next to her. She insulted me for 2 minutes, I shrugged it off, then we started talking about food. Ten minutes later we left together to get pizza. Then I walked her home. Then I asked to use the bathroom and we went inside. We ended up kissing but nothing else. She had to wake up in six hours for a thesis meeting and she said no way I could stay over.

Now...... Did I blow everything by not pushing harder for sex? I hope not, this would be, hands down, the cutest girl I've hooked up with yet. My thinking at the moment was this, going all the way for sex at this moment is high risk, high reward. Maybe I can push past her objections and get laid. But only maybe. There's also a good chance I can't, and then I've blown the cool and I'll probably never see her again. Instead of doing that I got her number and set up a date for this Friday. Typically when I push the interaction as far as conceivably possible, then set up a date for later, those dates tend to go very well. So I'll text her today and see what happens. I'm fully open to the idea that I fucked up by not trying harder for sex. She let me into her house after all.

Notes

*I've been talking a lot about this idea of outcome independent game. A state of mind where I'm not chasing, I'm assuming it's on. That was last night. I spent 90 minutes talking to this girl and I never tried anything, it was all very platonic. I just assumed it was on. Then we got back to her place and started kissing. If she didn't have a thesis thing there's a good chance we would have hooked up. It's just being cool, being normal and assuming attraction. And I'm only in the nascent stages of understanding this, I've got years ahead of me to really master it. But I'm so psyched for that.

*The other great thing about this "non-chasing" game is that it's so much more in line with my personality. I'm the same person when I'm in set with a girl as I am with anyone else. It's a great alignment, as opposed to adopting a new persona when in set. This is not cool. The example I always think of is this PUA I went out with last winter. He was technically exceptionally skilled but also weird. His entire personality changed when he was with a girl versus chatting with me. He had all but mastered the art of "chasing" game but he had yet to progress past that point. I don't want to be like that.

*Finding the best pickup information takes work. It means sorting through a lot of fucking bullshit and marketing half truths to find the gold. Even someone like Distant Light who I model myself on, you still have to filter his content.

 

[Davai]

First girl I talked to I ended up staying with the whole night. I didn't end up pulling. A guy friend showed up and her cousin, who she's living with (and is a manager at my favorite club in NYC), took one look at me and made the guy friend promise to get the girl on the train and home safe. My question: is this all just more bullshit? If I had led harder could I have gotten around the logistics and pulled anyways? I have so many questions about last night, I would pay $50 to see how an advanced guy would have handled it.

On a positive note, I set up a date to get some wine. I think maybe that will happen. I also texted the girl from last night and we had a brief conversation but it didn't go anywhere (posted a picture of that text convo here). My texting game only seems to work when the girl is so into me that it doesn't matter what I say. In retrospect I should have pushed harder for sex. We were there, it was on, fuck it. I let beliefs about what is and is not possible limit me. The more I go out the more these beliefs dissolve, but I still have a long way to go.

Tonight I may have taken the not chasing idea too far. I think that about an hour deep with my girl I needed to kiss her. However, I always go for the kiss. So in a way I'm fine that I didn't push for it because I'm trying new things. And maybe it works out that tomorrow we go for wine, go back to my place to "see if the wine is good" and then we hook up. Maybe that happens, maybe it doesn't, I don't know.

This mindset of assuming attraction and being the prize, it feels really good and so far the results are good. I still have about a billion questions but that's nothing new. I'll go out a lot, talk to a shit ton of girls and start figuring things out. One strong change that I can make is leading harder and getting the girl out of the club. No seeding the pull, no bullshit, just grab her hand, say adventure, let's go! And get her out. Deal with objections as they come up.

 

[Davai]

The cute girl I pulled home but didn't close on Monday, never met up with her again. Painful lesson to learn man. I had the opportunity, I was at her place and let it slip past. I can think of two things I messed up. First, she kept saying you can't sleep over. I interpreted that to mean no sex but I think it meant we can hook up but you have to leave afterwards. Next time that happens I'll say yeah, I won't sleep over and then get on with it. Second thing, right before I kissed her she said,

"I like total honesty, were you thinking about having sex tonight?"

Taken aback, I replied, "Yeah, I was."

There are definitely times when sex is so obviously on the table that it's no big deal. But in this context I think it would be better if I had said something more "gamey" like no, I really hadn't thought about it or whatever.

So the big lesson here is go for it then and there. It seems sort of sexually aggressive but it's necessary. It's also a win-win for both of us. Obviously this doesn't mean ignore real objections, but it does mean I shouldn't have rolled over as easily as I did.

Thursday

Girl from Wednesday night, ending up meeting up Thursday and hanging out for five hours. Got some sushi, drank some wine, hit some bars but nothing happened. It turned out we had no real chemistry and I didn't try anything. I'm OK with that though because I have the opposite of a friend-zone problem with girls, I hardly fucking ever have a platonic relationship with a girl. It's literally happened one time in the fifteen months I've been in NYC.

Will I see this girl again? I think not, mostly because of the personality. There was lack of romantic interest and just lack of interest in general.

Friday

Really wasn't feeling like going out so I went out. Met up with my wingman and we opened some sets. Went pretty well with one girl and learned a good lesson. We were in this crazy environment, getting buffeted around like popcorn. What I needed to do was get us anchored against the wall, her leaning into me. That would have been the move.

This girl had horrible eye contact which throws me off. Her sub-communication kept saying that she liked me but she wouldn't look me in the eye. Maybe just nervous or intimidated? In the future I need to point out that I like good eye contact, bad eye contact is a turn off.

Got her number then we bounced around LES some more. Nothing too crazy happened. Five nights in a row of going out, it's been really good. Had a couple of near misses but even though I didn't get laid, it's been cool to just spend so many hours interacting with women.

 

[Davai]

This is actually a big deal for me. I saw a cute girl on the street and walked by. Then I turned around, walked through the haze of fear and went to say hi to her. I have this thing where talking to women during the daytime is scary for me. I have lots of respect for the guys who do it all the time.

I'm writing this because I want to encourage myself to keep it up. My aim is to be a well rounded guy who brings women into his life at all points. Also, at my WeWork, there are about half a dozen awesome looking women. I'm going to start talking to them with no motive in mind. Just see what's up with them, how they're living.

 

[Davai]

Here's how it went. Showed up at the club, walked around and didn't see my wingmen. Opened a girl and ended up staying with her for twenty or thirty minutes. I was in a sweet zone of not chasing and she started investing into me. A lot. The less I talked, the more I held strong eye contact, the more and more she qualified herself. This is what I'm working towards! I see brief glimpses of it sometimes but last night was an excellent example of the potential.

She had a boyfriend and she ended up leaving, but I think that with a few simple tweaks I could have kissed her. At one point there was so much sexual tension in the air you could have bottled it and solid it to virgins in India. However, I diffused it by trying to kiss her at the wrong moment. Next time I'm going to let this tension build as high as it will fucking go.

There was another cute girl, later on, and I saw some signs from her so I went for the makeout after three minutes. Wrong move, basically blew the set. I'm really happy that I went for it though, I'd always rather risk it then not go for it and feel shitty.

I can say that my biggest sticking point at the moment is understanding sexual pressure, windows, and when to go for the makeout. There are times I lose sets because I don't kiss her and she wants to get sexual. So she finds another guy who will pull the trigger. Other times I lose it by being too hasty. I've been honing in on this for months and I still feel like I'm tying my shoe laces, I haven't even stepped on the court yet.

Notes

*Investment based game where she's doing the talking and chasing me isn't flashy. I'm not saying witty things, cracking jokes, doing a bunch of polarizing statements or whatever. So it's basically opposite of all that "cool" stuff you see in pickup videos. But it's effective! And it's the point I'm aiming towards because it's real game. The girl, chasing me, getting so invested in me that she doesn't want to leave. Taking this to a high level is going to be powerful.

*To make this happen I think that one thing I can do is go into set high energy and get the ball rolling the first few minutes. Then I start to back off and let her keep it rolling.

*Last night, for about forty-five minutes, I felt like I was expressing myself in a very congruent manner. My words were clear and on point. Then that faded and I could feel myself slip back into a sub-par place. My words felt cloudy and metallic. It's interesting to notice it though. You can't really notice it if you have no comparison, but once you've been in that sweet spot you can recognize when you slip out. I trust that in the future I'll spend more time authentically expressing myself and the results will be better because of it.

*At this point a major reason that I'm going out and putting all this time into pickup is because I'm addicted to the growth. I see myself becoming more confident, more grounded and expressing myself in a more authentic fashion. It's really fucking cool because it transcends pickup and makes my life better on a daily basis. Of course the girls are great too, but even when I'm not pulling much (it's been a month or so?) I'm still really happy. I love the experience, the challenge and doing the work for the sake of doing the work.

*I've noticed that my nights are getting consistently better. I'm having long interactions with women and getting blown out far less.

 

[Davai]

My sister came over last weekend so I haven't been out in five or six nights. Hit up the Tuesday spot and started opening. I'll be damned if anything stuck. I was in that zone where sets don't last but a couple of seconds before the girl turns away. This happens sometimes, usually when I'm in a foul mood. What's strange is that last night I was in a great mood and my mood improved with every set. But I still wasn't hooking anything. I think that I could have pushed past it if there was more opportunity. But there wasn't, we opened till there was nothing left to open.

I'm not sure I have much else to say beyond that. I did everything I could do and I had a really fun night. I couldn't find it, whatever it is. I'll get at it tonight and see what happens.

 

[Davai]

Back into it, I proposed to a cute Italian girl. I almost picked her up and walked out of the club. Not sure what my wingman would have done, he was already telling me to tone it down. Maybe he was right, maybe he wasn't. Sometimes I get more wrapped up in doing insane shit and I lose track of taking actual steps towards the pull. Other times insane shit is what makes the night amazing and I pull because of it.

I walked up to a girl, ignored both her friends, started talking. Almost immediately I encountered mild resistance.

"You need to leave. Please go away. Can't you just leave us alone? That's so awesome! Omg, you are just so cool" Sarcasm you could bottle and sell. I say,

"Your dress looks pink. It could be peach though. I don't like peaches, they bruise too easily. Strawberries are my favorite. Just wash them, cut off the top and you're good to go."

Obviously at this point nothing is ever happening, it's a battle. I'm pushing myself to see how long I can stand here and keep my frame while three girls throw an arsenal of shit at me. It's incredibly awkward. I don't move and my frame is really good. I have a hypothesis. I think that at some point I won the emotional side of my girl. I saw her eyes go big and something changed. Logically she hates me or whatever. But emotionally she's attracted to the guy who is holding a cool frame, even as three women try to run him over. I finally left though, I couldn't hold the frame forever.

I talked to a Danish girl for a while. Got her Facebook, invited her and her friend out to the club tonight. Will she come? Who knows. Pre-Danish girl I was up on another cute girl, all in black. I tried for the makeout, didn't quite happen. Led her towards a different part of the club but the friend ran and grabbed her. Leaving the club, I looked at her, said,

"I'll never see you again will I.."

She smiled, "Nope."

Notes

*I think that I sometimes lose track of what I'm at the club for. I have conversations that go nowhere, I don't try to pull, I don't led enough. I'm waiting for obvious signs and this holds me back. I should lead and move towards the pull with less signs. I can also assume more attraction, regardless of what I see her giving me. Assume the frame that as long as she's still talking to me, she's attracted.

*At one point I met some cool guys and they invited me to their table. I was speaking some Russian and they asked me whether I was Russian. I was in the moment and figured it would be easier to say yes, versus explaining that I learned Russian in Moscow, that I was an English teacher, etc. I didn't want to explain all this so I lied and said I'm Russian. This is dumb. One guy spoke Russian, he sussed out immediately that I'm not a native speaker, things got weird. OK, so what's the lesson here. It's to never, never lie. This is an ideal that I've recently adopted. It's not that I lie a lot, very little. But I want to take that very little and turn it into not at all. Tell the truth no matter what the consequence. In this case it's not like I was being a horrible person, I was just caught up in the party vibe and thought that explaining my Russian ability would slow down the party. But that led to weird consequences. It's a reminder that always fucking always tell the truth, even when it's seemingly inconsequential.

 

[Davai]

Today I did something that I've never done before. Coming out of the movie theater I was texting my wingman when I saw a cute girl walk past. She stopped a few feet away so I went and said hi. We talked for about 10 minutes and I kissed her several times. That's a first kiss I've ever gotten from a daygame approach. Here's the kicker though, I had enough game to do that but not enough that the girl would come with me to my wingman's place for a few beers. My belief just wasn't strong enough and I could feel a few points in the interaction where I strayed somewhat from my core. For lack of a better way of explaining. Give me six months though and I'll have those quirks ironed out.

Met up with my wingman for a few beers then we went to a spot in midtown. Opened most of the sets there, one girl stands out. Skinny, tall and cute. I opened her and she was giving me nothing. Kept plowing, more nothing. So I left and then came back five minutes later to open again. Now she gives me more, lots of smiles. I keep plowing, we dance a bit, grind some. Her friend comes up so I talk to the friend for a second and in that second some guy comes up and starts grinding with my girl. She seems to be into. So I have a couple of options.

1. Ignore it, keep talking to the friend and wait for the guys to leave.
2. Leave the set.
3. Try to pull my girl away from the guys.

I opt for number one. I wait till the guys are chilling then I go in, hold out my hand to the girl to dance again. She shrugs me off, gives me ice. I don't handle this well, I get in my head, the set dies soon after that.

OK, so first I have to mention the major positive. I reopened her, I plowed a lot, I kept going and going even when she gave me ice. I trusted in myself, the attraction and my instincts. That was all super solid, mad props. Where I fucked up was letting those guys burn me down. I should have stayed physically closer to my girl. Failing that, I should have done a stronger reapproach after the guys started milling around. My approach was soft and easy to blow out. This girl is obviously used to being hit on, she's attractive, she wants some strong male awesomeness.

Notes

*Game man. The more I do it the more I draw state from myself. I've been slammed and keep getting slammed by girls so many times that I can't help but love myself. I'm the only constant. Her attention, her flirting, even her sucking my dick, that's all temporary. I mentioned Danish girl from last night, she never replied on Facebook. Cute street girl didn't text me back till the next day even though we had a solid vibe. Cute girl at the bar blew me out for one bad move even though a majority of what I did was solid. I'm not angry or complaining, I'm just saying that when you go out and put yourself on the line, this shit happens over and over. You can become bitter or you can decide to keep getting better and to reward yourself and give yourself massive props for taking action.

*Approaching is getting to a point where it's mechanical and easy. I've done it so many times that it feels effortless. It's funny, I've been saying that for a while but now it's starting to reach a deeper level. I can do good approaches when I'm out of state, when I'm tired, when I just got two harsh rejections in a row, etc. My emotions are playing less of a role in how I approach game, I can be more calculating about it.

*I wouldn't trade these experiences for the world. After fifteen months of cold approach I'm a significantly different person. On top of all of the game related stuff, I'm simply less afraid to express myself and I enjoy talking to people more. These are things that money cannot buy.

 

[Davai]

Tonight my wingman opened some cute girls and I was making out with mine within a few minutes. We were dancing a lot, having fun. She asked me to take her out on a date tomorrow. I agreed but I knew I would flake. It was tonight or bust. She's from out of town, staying with the cousin, bad logistics. That means it's bathroom or never. We get right next to the stall and I try to pull her in, no way. She's not into this and we never talk after that. She wanted to be wined and dined, I wanted sex in the bathroom, we had different motives.

About to leave when I see three girls sitting down. I don't think, I just go in. So fucking easy and effortless, so natural. It's hard to remember but when I started this I was sweating bullets doing an approach like that. Now it's an afterthought. Me and my wingman end up talking to this set for half an hour. We want to go to the meatball place but they want to stay for a while longer and drink. They don't quite justify sticking around so we leave. Go do some shots with my buddy who works in a liquor store. I open a Hispanic chick on the street, my buddy opens three girls in Five Guys. So easy.

Notes

*Dance lessons would be cool. Knowing how to dance is obviously completely unnecessary but it'd still be nice to know. I love to travel so maybe one day I'll go to Spain or Portugal and take lessons every day for a month or two. Just those basics would be enough to elevate me up a bunch of levels.

*I'm getting better at reading makeout signs. When to go for the makeout, when to hold back. It's subconscious knowledge though, I couldn't articulate it with a gun to my head. I just get the sense that this is the moment and I go for it. Obviously I still have fucking years of refining but I feel more confident about it now. Once again, I can only think fondly of how good I'll be in six months.

*My level of presence in through the fucking roof. It's far more consistent and long lasting then anything I've ever had in my life. Pickup has played a big part but I also attribute a big part of it to Tolle's The Power of Now, specifically the audio book. I've read the regular book two or three times and it's good, but the audio book is next level. I've found a big difference between hearing and reading.

 

[Chase]

This is a fantastic journal, Davai. I love your hustle. Lot of consistency here too, which helps a lot.

One tip to keep yourself focused in club scenarios when you get into long conversations or get off-target... set a mental timer for when you need to move a girl, change venues, or invite her home. You can use this several ways:

• "I need to invite at least one girl per hour to move with me, change venues with me, or go home" --> if you're trying to motivate yourself to make more constructive approaches or avoid getting sucked into go-nowhere interactions

• "I need to invite girls to sit with me within 5-10 minutes of conversation" --> if your conversations are drifting too much, the girl is leaving on her own first, or you're stalling out

• "I need to invite girls to change venues with me or go home within 25 minutes of sitting with them" --> same as above, for more intimate conversations

None of these need to be absolute rules. If you end up in a situation where things are going well with a girl and your instincts tell you to bend or disregard the timer, you can do so. And then after the fact circle back to it and see if your instincts were right or if you'd have been better off with the timer.

With the girl you pulled from the club (and bravo going home with her despite her earlier resistance!), one suggestion on mentality for those sorts of situations: when you go home with a girl the same night you met her, you will usually never see her again if sex doesn't happen (and often may not see her again even if sex DOES happen). So the mentality needs to be, "If I walk away from this, I will never have sex with this girl." You may still walk away, but now you're honest with yourself what the stakes are.

Another mentality suggestion is, "Try to stay with her no matter what until sex happens, while always pushing greater intimacy." So if she won't let you kiss her and isn't turned on, but she doesn't kick you out, tell her you want to snuggle in bed. If she agrees to that, take some clothes off in bed: "I'm going to take my jeans off, these aren't good for sleeping. Hey, take your shirt off, the material is so itchy."

You're doing excellent man. If you keep up this level of hustle, you're gonna be a star.

Chase

 

[lostnumber]

I can't even imagine grinding this hard, my hat is off to you my friend

 

[Davai]

This is a fantastic journal, Davai. I love your hustle. Lot of consistency here too, which helps a lot.

--

Another mentality suggestion is, "Try to stay with her no matter what until sex happens, while always pushing greater intimacy." So if she won't let you kiss her and isn't turned on, but she doesn't kick you out, tell her you want to snuggle in bed. If she agrees to that, take some clothes off in bed: "I'm going to take my jeans off, these aren't good for sleeping. Hey, take your shirt off, the material is so itchy."

You're doing excellent man. If you keep up this level of hustle, you're gonna be a star.

Chase

Thanks for the kind words and the advice man, it's good. The regret of not closing that cute girl has definitely convinced me of the need to push as hard as possible for sex and assume that if it doesn't happen now it will never happen. I also like the part about having time limits for when you make things happen. Like you said, not absolute rules, but as general guiding principles I think they could be useful. For me, perhaps a good rule to start with is that I have to start seeding the pull within 10 minutes. Work that into the conversation slowly so that after 30 or 40 minutes she's prepped to leave.

I can't even imagine grinding this hard, my hat is off to you my friend

For me it's funny to hear you say this because I feel like I'm slacking and not pushing myself half as hard as I should be. Thanks though, it's good to hear this. I'm probably harder on myself then I need to be. Although I also recognize how many sets it's going to take to reach a high level and I'd like to get on with it already

 

[Davai]

Me and the wingman walked around EV last night and checked out a few spots. Opened some sets, talked to some girls, it was fun. At one bar I ended up talking to a less then perfect girl for about 30 minutes, it was actually cool. I did it because there wasn't much else and I believe that every girl is capable of teaching lessons. I also don't take a 30 minute conversation for granted. I have clear memories of all the nights where I couldn't keep a set going for 20 seconds. I think I'm getting closer to identifying what that "it" is that allows a set to go well. As I get more experience my nights will continue to improve.

Another thing I'm doing is working through some old memories. There were a few girls in high school who said some mean, vindictive things to me, at the peak of my insecurity, and that's had a lasting effect on me. It's surely shaped how I interact with women and my success with them. Increasingly I'm trying to work through these old memories, relive them, take away the emotional sting and even in some cases, as Dr. Phil as this sounds, forgive these girls for what they said to me.

I definitely have some repressed anger there but it's unfounded. If high school had been different and I had a few girlfriends and got laid, I never would have gotten into pickup which means I wouldn't have heard Tyler talk about meditation or Brad talk about reading or Julien talking about the gun to the head and my life would be way, way worse.

 

[Davai]

I'm going to listen to every Jocko Willink podcast, I've already got 15 or 20 down. What does this have to do with pickup? Discipline and overcoming fear. The discipline to get your ass out to the club and push your comfort zone. The strength to overcome fear and grow. Also, some damn fine stories! I recommend checking it out.

In other news, I thought that tonight I'd hit up a club, see if I could spark any conversations. Didn't happen at my favorite club in New York, total ghost town. Bounced somewhere else, I opened a few girls sitting down. The conversation went well, vibed for ten minutes. Eventually left, found nothing else, called it a night. Some thoughts on this one decent set.

1. Props on how I handled it. How I had the charisma to balance the conversation, spark attraction and be that cool dude. I can look at this interaction and see a drastic increase in my level of game.
2. I should have sat down. After a few minutes I knew that it was the move but I didn't do it. I don't even know if I was scared about rejection, I was more worried about intruding on the conversation these girls were having. They both seemed so nice and I didn't want to bother them. My motives are good but I need to realize that cool guys like me don't come along every day and my girl definitely would have liked to toss some words around. Also, they can always ask me to leave.
3. I opened the two girls solo while my wingman was playing ping-pong. When he joined the set I was so focused on making fun of him for caring more about balls than girls that I failed to introduce him to the set. This is another instance of me amusing myself and having a blast, but forgetting the ultimate objective of furthering the interaction.

Lifestyle

From now until New Years I'm living with horrible logistics so that I can save money for my winter excursion to Bali. I'm also going to the gym everyday and working on my business. So I'll only be going out about three nights a week. I'm taking a long term view. I'm getting my health in order, saving for an awesome trip and hopefully building something that will allow me to travel and make money online. It's been amazing going out a bunch of nights a week for the last year and a half but it's reaching the point where I really want to get all the other areas of my life up to speed. Getting laid is cool but it doesn't make up for being unhealthy or working a bullshit job.

 

[Davai]

Crazy times. Pregame beers at my WeWork then we took an Uber to the club. Got ushered in and met up with another wingman. Said a few words and then I opened some women standing around. Turns out they were Swedish, the one I was talking to was OK. Better than most 40 year old women, I'll bet she was really something when she was young. We were on the dance floor, too loud to talk so I lead her to the couches. Big surprise, my promoter friend has a table and they're cracking open some Stoli. Not one to beat around the bush, I pour myself a glass and start making out with this Swedish woman.

This goes on for a while, I lead her all around the club, I've lost my wingmen forever ago. Finally it's time to leave, it's 3am or something, I'm pretty drunk and I find out this lady is staying in a hotel a few blocks away. Take her downstairs, find a taxi. She says,

"Thanks so much for getting the taxi, really nice to meet you!"

Yeah, no. I get in with her and we give directions to the driver. She says,

"OK, so it's great you're bringing me back but you can't come in! My roommates are there."

Yeah, no. I tell her I have to use the bathroom. We get to the hotel, ask for the lobby bathroom, pull her in and lock the door. She sits on the sink, we're making out but the buzzkill is that I really have to pee. Really, really fucking bad. So I do it, come back and we start making out but she isn't going to have sex. I think maybe she was married and was borderline this whole time. When I was peeing that gave her logical brain enough time to kick in and stop it. Or whatever, but not sex. I would have whipped my dick out but it wasn't hard. So fuck it, still had a blast. Reminds me of this time when I had sex in the hotel bathroom and this other time when I didn't have sex in a club bathroom. The woman was all about it but I'm pretty sure she was married and wasn't ready to break that whole till death do us part crap.

Thoughts on the Game

Everything I did last night was on fucking point. Moved her at the right time, said the right things, kissed her at the right time, had the balls to overcome resistance and got her to the bathroom. It was all fucking rock solid. I was drinking though, have to take that into account. Here's my thought on drinking.

Half the time it makes my game horrible because I'm sloppy and annoying and a total jackass. The other half of the time it gives me about a six month boost in skills. That is, with a few drinks I feel like I'm as good as I will be in six months, after I've done countless sets and had countless experiences. Like Tyler always says, go out a lot and in six months you're average set will be the best set you can do today. So I feel that it gives me that boost. But fuck it, it's not a regular thing. I do it sometimes and I don't do it other times. All in all, game is a fucking blast and unexpectedly having a promoter and a bottle of Stoli show up at your favorite club is always cool.

 

[Davai]

I learned so many valuable lessons last night. The kind of stuff that they don't teach you in pickup school. It started with meeting up with a new wingman. We hit up my favorite club early, got right in as usual. Upstairs I opened a few sets until I found two cute girls that were interested in what I was selling. The one I was talking to was half Japanese, half something, 100% beautiful. We hit it off well, I was being my normal amazing self even though I found her very cute. However, five or ten minutes deep something went down that I'm not so cool with. Before I knew what was happening my wingman switched girls, started talking to mine and left me with the friend who, while cute, was not fun. My pickup manifesto states that the guy who opens the set gets to choose the girl. If the guy who comes in second doesn't like the girl he's with he can suck it up or leave, but not take my girl.

That being said, I accept responsibility for all things in my life. So this incident shows that I need to learn how to address this situation. If my wingman, or any other guy, opens my girl and draws her away, I need to find a way to get her attention back on me without being a dick. My brain is already thinking of ways to achieve this, it shouldn't be that hard in general.

The Family Set

After that I ended up opening a tall blonde woman. Skinny, bubbly, taller than me. She was 40, looked like she was 30 and I found her gorgeous. We hit it off really well and I spent an hour or two with her. We danced some, made out, flirted and talked about life. It was a unique situation because this woman was with her daughter who, like her mom, was beautiful! This led to an expansion of my awareness of female dynamics. Here's why.

I was obviously with the mom, she was the lady for me. The daughter was jealous, she wanted attention too. Now she's a really good looking girl, plenty of guys would take a bath in guppy guts and swim through a shark tank to date someone as cute as her. And yet during the hour and a half I spent with the mom and daughter, hardly any guys talked to her. She had a few drunk splooge sockets grab her ass and one Israeli guy talked to her for a bit, but that was it. And it was fascinating to see this because as guys, I think we have the propensity to think that,

Girls (hot girls) have it so easy, they can get laid as much as they want.

Sometimes, yes. But certainly not all the time. This beautiful 21 year old girl was desperate for some attention from a guy, she would have settled for just a plain dude who was cool and not drunk.

(big lesson here, thinking that you have to be the master fucking pimp of the universe to end up with the cute girl. Not true! If you could walk up to this girl, have a normal conversation, lead a little bit and go for the kiss she would have been yours)

Talking to the mom she elaborated on her daughter's problems with men and how she can't seem to find high quality guys. Seeing all this and talking about it in depth was a real perspective shift for me.

Pushing Past the Wall

The mom also taught me another valuable lesson. She said that her daughter puts up a bitchy front when guys approach her, even though in general she's actually a nice person. This is a key point. The bitchy act is just a front, it's a wall to screen out guys who don't make the cut. To get with a woman like this you have to push past that wall, have faith in yourself, keep plowing and understand that at some point the wall will crack and you'll get to experience the real girl.

Another key point! I mentioned those two girls we opened in the beginning, where my wingman took my cute girl. We ended up leaving that set after about fifteen minutes even though it was going good. I think we left because of a lack of innate belief that it's going somewhere. It can be harder with more attractive women because they give you so little! So the feeling I often get is that I'm wasting my time because nothing will happen. But this is not a mindset that is going to get me laid with more attractive women. I have to change my thinking to this: hot women will give you less signs, you just have to persist, be the cool guy and assume that as long as she's still talking to you, she's attracted.

This is so key and important to enforce. It's also important for me to personally stand by because many of my wingman want to leave sets too early. They don't see any signs of attraction and they want to bounce. I get that but we have to stay in there and see it through to the end! This is of paramount importance.

Finally, I'll say this. Being in a set with the mother and daughter was surprisingly not weird. They were totally comfortable being out and drinking together, the mom was a wonderful person, very pretty and we were having a blast together. At some point the daughter started to warm up to me, she was touching me, standing close, giving me signs. Now past experience has shown me that if you go into set, start with one girl then switch to the other, you'll lose both. So I was very careful to decline invitations from the daughter and talk to the mom. However...... If these were friends, not family members, this would have been an ideal threesome situation. Both girls were highly emotional, I was in the fucking zone, all the pieces of the puzzle were there. Except for the incest problem haha.

So that was my awesome night out. I got the mother's phone number, I planned an entire date with her and confirmed it multiple times. She hasn't texted back yet. I think that she's blowing me off because I'm so much younger than her, even though we had an awesome bond. It hurts that she hasn't replied but that's game man. I'll just keep pushing the envelope, growing myself and make shit happen. I'm 100% confident that I can reach an extremely high level of game at this point. The worst part is over, I've spent the last fucking year getting rid of AA and I'm so thankful for that. It would take about $150,000 and an E350 with all the options to get me to start from the beginning again.

 

[Hue]

However...... If these were friends, not family members, this would have been an ideal threesome situation. Both girls were highly emotional, I was in the fucking zone, all the pieces of the puzzle were there. Except for the incest problem haha.

I've never heard of that type of threesome outside of porn-world, but what was there to lose? Here's a mom who's telling you, a man feeling himself, about how her daughter can't get high quality guys. That could easily mean, "hey, you're a high quality guy, I would be okay with my daughter fucking you". And if you're a high quality guy in both their eyes....

Speculation, I know lol, but not impossible.

I'll just keep pushing the envelope, growing myself and make shit happen. I'm 100% confident that I can reach an extremely high level of game at this point. The worst part is over, I've spent the last fucking year getting rid of AA and I'm so thankful for that.

Hell fuckin yea. Never stop.