Smith's journal

[Smith]

Hey fellas,
I've been reading GC since end of last year and have only done a small number of approaches. But now I decide to really hammer it down. Two weeks ago, I had my first lay in a long time from a girl I met at a sport club a month ago, which I'm not gonna go into details because it was just too messy (She had a bf you see....and she was an emotional mess). It was a great experience even though it didn't work out the way I wanted to, but it proves so many things that was said on GC, so now I believe I can be that attractive man. I almost decided to settle down with that girl but I read somewhere on GC that until you're good with women, you shouldn't settle down. I guess I didn't want to go back to the meat grinder again, meeting new women and getting rejected, but you can't succeed without failing, and from my own experience, this is true. I have failed several times in my life, went through depression (and got myself out of it through Chase's article on depression), then finally achieved what I've always wanted, i.e. getting a prestigious degree I always wanted. So if it took me 3-4 years to achieve that, then I can definitely take on this challenge. So that's my story.

Since the start of this week, I've been going out in the afternoon for 1-2 hours just to pick up girls. Here's the first girl I approached, which I also posted in field reports.

so I was out on the street trying to do some pick up and overcome my approach anxiety. I have to say, I missed some good opportunities first then finally said to myself "what the hell? why not?". So I saw this girl sitting around the central square of our city. For a moment there, I was going to let my fear conquer me again, but not this time so I approached her

Me: "Hi!" with a sexy smile
She looked up and smiled "Hi!"
Me: "I saw you sitting here and thought you are incredibly cute, so I wanted to come over and introduce myself"
She looks really flattered and muttered something I couldn't hear. I can tell she's quite excited and nervous.
Me: "what's your name?"
Her: "Natalia. What's your name?"
Me: "Hi Natalia, I'm Smith"
At this point, I grab a seat next to her. I can tell that English isn't her first language, so I asked.
Me: "So tell me... are you from around here or do you hail from somewhere far away?
Her: "oh I'm from Japan. I'm a student at the university. I study foreign language"
I gave her the wow that's amazing look
Me: "Wow, so how long have you been here?"
Her: "one month...I'm here until August"
Me: "How do you like it here?"
Her: "I love it here...especially the blue sky!"
Me: "yea I bet you don't see that often in Japan."
Her: "haha so how old are you?"
I was surprised when she asked this because it seemed out of the blue.
Me: "well take a guess "
Her: "umm 23? "
I dropped my mouth and did a shocked look.
She laughed
Me: "so how old are you?"
Her: "guess =)"
Me: "hmmm 21?"
Her: "haha close....it's 20"
Me: "wow you're that young huh"
Her: "so how old are you?"
Me: "I'm 21.....so why did you choose to come here to study, but not Australia or the States?
Then the conversation carried on for another 5 minutes, and at the highest point I asked for her number.
Me: "haha wow! that's cool! hey listen we should grab coffee sometimes. Let me get your number!"
Her: "sure =)"
Then she took out two phones. one with her japanese number (iphone) and another one with her local number( an old nokia phone)
She doesn't seem to know how to use the old nokia phone and I have to use her phone to call my phone and save my number on her phone. Hope she knows how to text me back hmmm....
We said goodbye. I'm still planning to send her an icebreaker text "Glad to met a traveller! Jack =)" in 1-2 hours then text her in a couple of days to set up that date.
Things I think I did well
1. I was relaxed and didn't care if I failed
2. I deep dive and build up comfort pretty quickly. didn't become an entertainer ( I was tempted but I controlled myself)
3. screening and qualifying
4. had good eye contact
Things I should improve
1. Chase framing - I think the conversation was a bit too platonic. could use a little sexual humor and investment
2. Missed out on some chances where I could qualify her and build deeper connection.

 

[Smith]

The approach yesterday and today was awful, and it really destroy any ego I have left haha! But don't be bitter! I'm still happy I approached them!
I always have confidence issues when approaching white girls (I'm an asian but I've been living in western countries for half of my life), which probably explains why the approach with the jap girl went smooth and also my first lay of the year was also an asian.

I know I need to overcome this mindset. Girls are silly and cute. So yesterday I saw this white girl walking the opposite way on the other side of the street, so I crossed the street and pretend to be using my phone while not making eye contact then wait for her to walk past me for 1-2 seconds. Then jogged up to her and delivered my opener,
"Hey excuse me...I know this is random but I saw you walking past and thought you were cute so I wanted to come and say hi"
I think my voice was too nervous
She looked at me weirdly like okkkaayy and say "hi" then walked away.

Today, before I went out, I looked at James Marshall's video and noticed that sometimes he opened with a "hey! how are you?", so I thought I should try that. I approached another girl (white). She was walking towards me but I let her walked past. I stopped to check a text message I got. Then I saw her walking back towards me (which is bad because she probably knew I was checking her out...getting borderline creepy here), and right when she walked past me, I said
"Hey excuse me"
she turned around.
then I said "how are you?"
She said "I'm alright" then walked away.
hmmm. Guess my fundamental is not good enough to pull it off yet. I corrected my voice, which was low, clear and a little bit relaxed, but my body language wasn't open. My hands were in my pocket.
Things I should improve:
1. don't hesitate. use the 3-second rule. I found that whenever I hesitate, my opener just falls flat.
2. voice. Deep, slow breath. Speak slowly
3. Body language - chest out
4. try to use better compliment than "I thought you're cute"
5. approach more white girls until I'm more comfortable with them.

 

[Smith]

Direct opened a girl today, and right after my opener, she asked me if I'm new in town. I was confused when she asked me that question, but NOW....I realized she was asking it for a purpose...gutted. Still not sure the best way to answer that question while building up intrigue though. Maybe something like "well I'm always up for something new. U?"

Sigh.. it could have been a quick lay.

 

[Smith]

4/14
Haven't been doing much approaches lately because of the heavy storm outside, but when the weather cleared for one day (although it was really windy), I still went out even if I was tired from a long day, because I heard the weather was going to be shit again for a next few days and so I only did one approach.

One thing I've learned so far, even if you live in a small town, is that there's always an opportunity to talk to a cute girl every time you go out, and these opportunities usually come and go pretty fast, and if you let these opportunities go pass, the next one won't come along for a while (Okay, maybe not that long, but 30-40minutes for me). So this time, I grabbed on to that opportunity, and within the first 5 minutes of my outing, I saw this cute girl across the street and said to myself "screw it, I got nothing to lose!" and I approached her with a direct opener, which didn't go as well as I thought because I think I was speaking a little too fast, and she said to me "do I know you?" with a nervous, small voice. Then I slowed down and calmed myself and complimented on her style with a smile, which just basically rephrased my opener. Then she began to warm up. I deep dived her for a bit. I can tell she's pretty shy. At the high point of the conversation, I asked for a coffee date, she hesitated for a few seconds but agreed, then we exchanged number.
Sent her an icebreaker text later
Me: "Happy to make your acquaintance - smith "
Her: "Same here "
I tried to set up a date next day because I'm going on a trip soon.
6.10 pm Me: " Hey X ! How's your day going so far? Hope you didn't get too wet I end up finding my umbrella that ran away last week lol so shall we grab that coffee we talked about? Let me know what ur shcedule's looking like"
7.13pm Her: "hi, thanks for asking Study goes not too bad I think , but I have some assignments due before Easter Holidays, and I am working hard on it at the moment, so I don't have time this week, sorry =( Hope your study or exam goes well too!
8.12pm : "Yea that's cool ! Good luck with your assignments =)"

Things I can improve:
1. speak slower with pauses
2. Don't take myself too seriously! Have some fun!
3. Sometimes I find myself going to deep in a conversation and forgot to come up for air!
4. Build up some rapport with a few text before getting down to business.

4/16
Two days before my trip, I decided to set up another date with a girl I approached two weeks ago. We had a good first date, but I missed an escalation window when I could have kissed her. I text her for a date last week, but she was busy and didn't try to reschedule, so after a week, I decided to give her a ping.
Me 7.02 pm: "Hey Les! How's ur week going? I heard the food fest was amazing. Really long line but good food. Would love to hear your review on that though "
Her 8.19pm: "you should have come! yeap kinda satisfied my craving for Malaysian food! though can't beat the ones in Malaysia but it's at least was not too bad! how about you? what mission did you have this week or last week? "
Me 10.10pm: "I just end up going to a house warming party! met a lot interesting people you would rarely cross paths with! haha only kinda satisfied? well you know what they say about Malaysian girls..."
Her 10.12pm: "That's good! hmm what about Malaysian girls? Is it good or bad first lol"
Me 10.21pm : "hmmm I find it exotic, but it might not be everyone's cup of tea "
Her 10.28pm: "exotic How many Malaysian girls have you met to come to that conclusion lol. exotic is more suitable to describe the food I think "
Me 10.36pm: "haha why? u jealous? well exotic food created by exotic people. plus they all do this thing that drive most men crazy !"
Her 10.52pm : " I was just trying to figure out the reason behind ur description. since u used such an exotic description, that's y I was curious!"
Me 11.01pm : "hmm it's good to be curious How about we grab something to drink or eat tomorrow before I leave?"
Her 11.24pm: "Gotta see if I have break in between, what time is your break usually?
Fell asleep here, so replied the next morning.
Me 7.20 am: "I only have a short lunch break tomorrow. what's your plan for tonight?
Me: "*today"
Her 7.38 am: " I have dance prac after class till 7.30 pm, then need some time to take shower, should be free for a couple of hours after that. about 8.30?
Me 9.18am: cool come over at 8.30. Bring some snack and I'll get some drinks"
Her 11.44am: "Hey, I have a gathering with my friends at 10pm before Easter break starts. since i've been to ur place before, what about you come to my flat this time? I can prepare some simple food or snacks. when are you leaving?"
At this point, I knew I should have persisted her to come over, but I didn't because I was afraid I'll screw up my chance with her....not enough abundance mentality yet..sigh
Me 2.14pm: "sure. Only if you promise banana cake where do you live again? I'm leaving tomorrow.
Her 5.30pm: "sounds like a plan! ok challenge accepted! my house is just at where you first met me"
Her 7.47 pm: "hey are you coming later? if yes I'll start preparing the ingredients!"
Me: Yea I'm coming can't wait to taste it!"

When I got there, I didn't expect all 4 of her flatmates (all girls) are there. I greeted them with warmth, and deep dive a little about each one of them. 3 of them left 30 minutes later to get to a party, and my girl said she'll meet them later for karaoke. One girl stayed with us. We started baking and exchanged some light banter. The girl who stayed then left the kitchen to go to her room and now we're alone. We had some fun baking. I tried to break the touch barrier, but I feel she's not comfortable with that yet. I got the feeling she's inexperienced with men from our previous date. so I asked her.
Me" Hey, are you single?"
Her: " What do you mean?...I'm pretty free haha"
I think she's trying to play dumb here
Me: "haha so that's a yes!"
Her: "how about you? Are you single?"
Me: "why do you ask?" - really stupid shit I said here
Her: "well now that you've asked me. I need to ask you back."
Me: "Well..."
I didn't say anything, but I felt like I should have said something like I enjoy being single.

Anyway. We had a good conversation and connection. I fed her some cake with a sexy eye contact and she complied.
Me: "You're a really interesting girl... You're strong and independent!"
Her: "yea well I kinda have to!"
me: "I mean you're funny and charming..." (she cut me off here before I could finish)
Her: "I used to be shy and protective, but I've changed!"
instead of trying to finish what I had to say, I qualified her on that and deep dived.
Me: "That's a good thing you did! So you were protective?"
Her: "well .... (she went quiet and mumbled a few words)" didn't hear a word she said
Me: "mhmm ". with a sexy smile.

It's now 10.30 and I realized she's still staying with me. So I moved closer to her. (we're sitting around a kitchen table) I would lean in and pull away occasionally during our conversation. I was trying to position myself better for a kiss. BUT at 10.40, her friends came home, and now the circle is broken. She sit closer to me to make space for her friends. Our legs are touching slightly. They started talking about the games they played at the party, and one of the games they played was to choose 3 people you would marry, have as a boyfriend, or a fling. I looked at how she would react as they were discussing it, and she wasn't as enthusiastic as the other girls. Her friends also mentioned they went to watch a naked rugby match. I asked her friend to show me a pic, and I just laughed and said
"wow they were being really friendly. Did you guys enjoyed it? "
they all laughed including my girl
Her friend: "Yea I couldn't concentrate on the ball!
My girl and I : "haha what ball? "
Her friend blushed: "The rugby ball!"

Then they started to talk about their plans for the upcoming holidays, and she would fill me in as they talk.
It was very frustrating that every time we were talking about something, she would break the circle and talk to her friends trying to juggle two conversations at the same time. So I just did the drop and hang thing. When she returned to my conversation asking what I was talking about, I would do the bored look and said "I can't remember" with a small smile. Then she would work hard to get us back on track. I broke the touch barrier in the end, incidentally touching her thigh now and then and she seemed to be comfortable. But it was getting late because her friends were going to bed, and I was yawning.

Her: "Looks like it's your bed time"
Me: "Yea I better get going "
At the door
Me: "I guess I'll see you around!"
Her: "I'll see you at Melbourne! =)"
I was taking a trip to visit my parents at melbourne, and she said they were planning to go to melbourne as well.

After I left, I was a little disappointed. I could have moved us to her bedroom earlier, but didn't think of it. While I was pondering what to text her as I got home, I got a text from her.

Her 12.53 am : "Hope you enjoyed the chillax session just now! Though you might not expect to be seeing so many of my other friends haha, but I think my banana cake just acts like a magnet which attracts everyone anyway it was a great chatting session. Hope you have a safe journey home tomorrow ! "
I feel like I need to say something to get her to open up her sexual desire.
Me 1.11am: "I like your friends. They really make u happier in all sorts of ways haha. I can see they're a big part of who u r, but I feel there's more that ur afraid to show. But u shouldn't be Thanks for inviting me over!"
No reply.

Things I did well on
1. forming connection better now.
Things I should improve
1. moving her
2. not be afraid to break the touch barrier
3. Stop being a pussy, and go for a kiss.
4. Sexual frame - although I feel she's pretty conservative. and she hasn't been comfortable with my previous sexual frames.

18/4
Did my first approach on a long bus trip today. Always wanted to do it. Still need to work on being relaxed when I deliver my opener though. Look forward to future bus interaction.

 

[Smith]

24/4

Holiday is about to finish, and after a couple of days of catching up on work, it's time for a break! Watched a couple of videos by John Cooper. He talked about a really interesting concept that I've never heard of - approach anxiety is just a term the pick up community created so they can sell their products. He doesn't 'approach' girls. He 'invite' them to his energy. I think he's right. when I think about the term 'approach', it makes pick up sound like serious work when you're suppose to have fun. After adjusting for this mentality, I decided to go to a smaller mall first to warm up. I also wanted to experiment how many people would smile back at me when I smile at them.

As I parked my car, I realized that there aren't many people there. As I walked through the front door, saw this cute girl standing next to a table advertising for something. Didn't make eye contact and walked past her. Was thinking I'll come talk to her when I leave. It's a very small mall. It took me 5 minutes to circle back to the front door. Just as I circled back, I saw this cute girl walking into the mall. we made brief eye contact and she was looking at her phone. I let her walked pass me for a few sec then turned around to catch up to her. Slightly tapped her shoulder.
Me: "Excuse me....I saw you walking over there..."
Her: "yea?"
Me: "and thought you were cute so I had to come say hi"
I think my vibe was too nervous and kinda freaked her out and she just said no. haha. Now that I got the first one out of the way, I feel a lot more relaxed now.

I turned back and headed to the front door. Saw the cute girl standing next to a table with some brochures. Walked slowly towards the table while not making eye contact just yet. As I reached the table, I picked up the brochure and met her eyes with a sexy smile. It turned out to be a thing for a charity. She started explaining the details and how you can just set up your bank account to donate some money for the charity. We talked about it for a few minutes, and I noticed she has an accent, so I saw this as a chance to transition into deep diving.
Can't remember the conversations in detail, but here's how it went generally. During the conversation, I shifted my eye contact from dead center to corner of the eyes occasionally.
Me: "Hey you have an interesting accent!"
Her: "Oh yea I'm from Brazil! I've been here for 6 years! "
Me: "oh so you must love it here then! What made you move here?"
Her: " Yea, our family moved here! Brazil was too dangerous...u know... stealing and stuff!"
Me: "hmm yea that's too bad..."
Her: "yea... I was in [another city 3 hrs from here] for 5 years before I moved here"
Me: "Oh yea I loved it there too..." was about to ask her something but got cut off.
Her: "my dad is an artist, so our house is filled with all sorts of painting and stuff!"
Me: "haha that's quite artistic, so are you a painter too?
Her: "I'm a photographer when I'm not doing this" Her hands gestured towards the table
Me: "Oh wow that's quite creative as well!" I didn't want to dive too deep here, since I'll be leaving in a few minutes.
Her: "So how about you? where are you from?"
Me: "well I've kinda been here for half my life, so yea I think I'm from here "
Her: "hahaha...so where are you from originally?"
The conversation continued for a bit then I can feel the peak is gone. I could've gone for the number a little bit earlier, but I didn't because her co-worker just walked in and I just feel bad for not donating lol I don't know wtf I was thinking. I also forgot to show my interest in the conversation.

So I left the mall, thinking not a bad start and head for a bigger mall with more crowd. and man car parking was a bitch.
As I walked around the mall, I realized that many girls are with friends and bfs, which made things tricky.
Saw the cute girl walking out of a shop as I walked pass. we walked the same direction at similar speed for a few seconds then she stopped to check out a purse.
and I just fucking froze! not knowing what to say! not use to opening situationally! But now as I'm writing this, I realized I could've said something like. "hey, does this purse makes me look fat?" I took it too seriously and forgot to have fun! I think I even thought to myself I have to 'approach' this girl. Need to stop using that term.

Anyway, didn't let it dwell on me and head to the bookstore. Saw this cute girl checking out the top 100 books. Positioned myself next to her. Didn't even plan what I was going to say. I was very relaxed with this one.
Me: "Hey...so you read all these books?" not the best opener, but the natural one that came out of my mouth.
She turned to me with a quizzical look.
Me: "haha I said have you read all these books?"
Her: "haha oh no, but I've read this one"
picked up "the alchemist"
Me: "oh what is it about?"
Her: "hmm about life and those stuff"
Me: "btw you have a wonderful sense of style so have you figured out the meaning of life?" said this with a grin.
She had this big smile on her face and blushed a little.
Her: "haha well no. I'm from France. I'm studying tourism at [a nearby uni]"
Me: "oh really. I was just wondering where you got ur accent. I've a lecturer who's from France as well "
Her: "oh ur studying?"
Me: "yea I'm studying but not here though. How long have you been here"
Her: "one to two weeks... where are u you from?"
Me: "I'm from...here, but I'm only here for a few days for holiday."
Then she told me a lot about all the places she's been, and I related back to her on how I planned to visit europe at the end of the year and she should totally be my tour guide.
Her: " so where are you studying?"
Me: "[mentioned another city]"
Her: "oh is that the town with lots of students? How is it there?"
Me: "yea it's....a lot of fun. Do you like clubbing and drinking?"
Her: "haha oh yea!"
Me: "Well you should totally move here then " playfully touched her elbow
Her: "haha maybe I should" She touched my arm back.
Me: "just transfer right now and come with me" touch her elbow again.
Her: "haha....well I think I should go" She turned around
Me: "hey lets grab coffee sometimes!"
She turned back and engaged in the conversation again.
Her: "but I have a bf!"
Me: "oh... well I would like to stay in contact if u like" I think I let her response affected me too much. Took out my phone and she keyed in her number.
I asked if her bf is in France, she said yes.
We talked a bit more and I asked her to teach me some French for my trip. We had more fun.
It seems like she's conflicted about meeting me because of her bf. OH well. she was fun to talk to anyway.
Sent her an icebreaker text "hey XX, glad to have met a fellow traveler =) Smith"
No reply.
Hmmm. this always seems to happen when I build too much rapport with the girl. They don't reply my icebreaker text.

 

[Smith]

No longer feel much anxiety when talking to new girls after watching John cooper's video.
First time using a situational opener in the supermarket. It went well, but forgot to state intent. It ended up awkward when proposing a date, but overall vibe good.
For some reason, after I gym, my voice go dry and today on my way home after gym, saw this cute girl walking towards me, directly opened her saying she's cute. Ahh my voice sounded so weak! Also, I think I forgot to have fun and opened her because I wanted something, i.e. her number, from her instead of complimenting her from a place of giving. Need to be careful with my mindset shifting back to this. My goal is to make her day and enjoy the interaction, not trying to get something from her from the start because I found that it puts girls off when my intention is to get her number. Phone number is secondary.

 

[Smith]

So the exams are coming up, but I've promised myself to meet at least one new girl whenever I go out to do something.

Also I want to focus more on white girls than asian girls, since almost all my results are with asian girls. At the same time I want to break some limiting belief I have - meeting girls on the street when it's raining.

After like a week of no results, I felt pretty down, then I realized that's because I'm not having fun - so I made a reminder to myself on my phone - "play is the outcome. don't take pickup too seriously". And also to focus on my voice ALL THE TIME. and well it made a big difference yesterday.

So what happened yesterday:
It was raining while I walked back from the gym. At first, I thought to myself - "damn I could not possibly pick up girls when it's raining" - but then I decided to break that limiting belief. I saw on youtube a guy pick up chicks even when it's snowing, so everything is possible.

After walking around for 20 minutes with my umbrella since not many people are out around the campus given the weather and the exams, then finally this chick with an umbrella walked past me. I instantly walked up next to her
Me: "Excuse me..."
The sidewalk was narrow and she shifted to one side, she thought I wanted to walk past her. But I turned my head around looking out of the corner of my eye.
Me: " Hi I just saw you around the corner....and you have... an amazing sense of style!"
I said this with slow and low voice while maintaining solid eye contact and sexy smile. (sometimes I looked down checking out a girl's body when I deliver my opener but not this time!)
We both smiled at each other for a second then she had this cute laugh.
Me: "I'm Smith" extending my hand
Her: " "I'm Abby"
I paused for a second and maintain the eye contact and the smile. You know that look when someone's attracted to you - their pupils dilating..etc well yea she was looking at me like that.
Me: "So what are you up to today?" Still speaking slow and sexy
Her: "just going to the library to do some study....U?"
Me: "just heading to the gym"

We started walking.
Her: "Sorry what's your name again?"
Me: "Oh you forgot already!" with my mouth wide open acting incredulous
Her:" haha yea I'm pretty bad with names"
Shit I also forgot her name too lol
Me: "haha okay I forgot your name too...so I guess we're even"
Her: "haha I'm abby"
Me: "I'm smith... so what are you studying?"
Her: "neuroscience and psychology"
Me: "wow interesting mix...I used to study neuroscience as well"
Her: "what do you study?"
Me: "oh it's nothing special... not as interesting as yours"
Her: "haha I'm sure it's something"
Me: "okay it's dentistry"
Her: "hey that's pretty hard to get in"
I deep dive a little and she told me she might do medicine later on. The library was only one minute away but that was enough.
through out the interaction, I continued to be in the moment and not be bothered about what to say next and what this could lead to.
As we approached the library.
Me: "So you got the brain and you're cute...lets hang out sometime"
Her: "Oh but I already have a bf"
I looked to the side and smiled like I've heard this a thousand times
Me: "oh crap maybe I should've started with are you single"
Her: "haha but honestly though...you made my day =) Where do you live?"
Me: "just around here" point to a vague area
Her: "well yea we'll see each other around"
We said our goodbye

Even though I didn't get her number, but this was the smoothest interaction I've had for the past week and I did this while it's raining. So overall it was a good experience. don't let your limiting belief stop you.

Need to keep working on my fundamentals especially my voice.

 

[Smith]

Interesting day today, woke up at 6am because I couldn't sleep. Took a shower, meditated for 20 mins and studied for a bit then went back to bed. At noon, woke up slightly more tired lol. I reluctantly decided to go to the supermarket to do some grocery shopping because I wanted to do some studying for my exam.

At the supermarket, saw this slim blonde pick out candies, hesitated for a few seconds, but took a deep breath then opened her. (lately the deep breath technique really relaxes me, and I heard it triggers your parasympathetic nervous system which slows down your heart rate and stuff)
Speaking slow and low.
Her face light up right after I said 'excuse me" and huge smile after I complimented on her style.
I wasn't really feeling talkative or in the right state, so I just said whatever the hell that's on my mind, and surprise it went better than usual.
Her: "Thank you so much! you made my day!"
responded with a smile and a shrug like i do this shit all the time.
Me: "What are u up to now?"
Her: "just picking out some candies"
Me: "For you or for someone else" I asked this because from my peripheral vision I saw a ring but not sure on which finger.
Her: "oh just for me and my friend. She coming over tonight"
Me: "cool. so pillow fights? "
Her: "haha no, I do culinary art so we're probably gona watch master chef and stuff"
Deep dived about her fav dish.
She told me a lot about herself while I essentially only said my name lol
For some reason, fear of rejection creeps up and I didn't number close her. I felt like a pussy for not going all the way. But I felt good for making her day and I'll do better next time.

On my way home, saw another blonde walking out of a church. (she kinda looked like the same blonde, but I'm not sure lol sometimes SOME white girls all look the same to me, not trying to be racist, but with makeup these days, even some asian girls look the same.) I unconsciously did the glance and smile because I was in a good mood after that the supermarket. When I turned my head back to look at her, she smiled and said "Hi". I said "hey" back. From my peripheral vision, I think she looked down and kept walking to her car. I wanted to turn my head and opened her but someone else was walking out of the church looking for her. This really surprised me because she was probably cuter than the previous blonde (although they could be the same person, but wtf are the chances?) My mind tells me they look different but there's always that creeping doubts that she was the same blonde. Anyway, as I walked away, I was like "Did I just get opened by a blonde?" and thats when I realized I did the glance and smile.

So state is definitely important. Some people can just sense it and want a piece of it

Things to keep improving
1. VOICE - although I started slow and low, I kinda speed up after a while, but caught myself doing it.
2. definitely make the sexy smile my default facial expression.

 

[Smith]

Raining today. Have been studying all day and in the afternoon, went out to meet a friend briefly. On my way home, thought about meeting one new girl, but the weather made it hard as people walk pretty fast to get out of the rain, and hard to see the people's faces with umbrellas. Thought about giving up and go home, but force myself to keep going. So I decided to walk down the street with shops and shelter on the side walk. A cute red head was walking towards me. As she walked past me.

Me: "Excuse me" and put my hand out slightly in front of me.
Her: didn't seem to hear me at first and saw her eyes stole a look at me but kept walking for a bit then she saw my gesture and turned her body towards me.
Me: "Hi, I saw you walking here..and you have.." forgot to slow down. fuck.
Her: "what?"
Smiled at her sexily
Me: "I like your jacket" slowly and loud.
She smiled.
Her: "Oh thank you!"
still haven't walk away.
Me: "I'm smith" extending my hand
Her: "I'm Jess..." and extended her hand as well but there was ear phones on her hand "haha sorry"
so that was why she didn't hear me.
Me: "what music are you listening to?"
Her: "Ellie Goulding...I'm actually going to her concert tomorrow"
She looked at me excitedly.
Me: "oh really?...here?"
Her: "oh no it's at XX [my home town 6 hours bus ride away]"
I panicked because I've no idea how to relate to her taste in music, and I forgot the response rule, so I wasn't really listening.
Her: "I'm actually in a rush"
I started to walk away first. I don't know why. Even though she said she's in a rush, she wasn't too eager to exit the conversation.
Me: "yea thats cool. see ya!"
Her: "see ya =)"

Why was I so nervous lol Take a deep breath man... deep breath. It will be better tomorrow!
Things to keep in mind
- Voice
- posture, facial expression
- response rule

 

[Smith]

WOOHOO finally finished my exam today. A girl in my class (who I rarely talk to) was gonna come over tonight to 'watch a movie', but she texted me and flaked before my exam. But to tell you the truth, I wasn't sure about inviting her over because we're still gonna be in the same class and see each other for the next 2 1/2 years.

But anyway, right after my exam, still had an hour to kill before it gets dark. Walked to the central square area of the city. Saw this cute slim blonde girl crossing the road towards me. Walked up next to her and open
Me: "excuse me..."
She turned her head. we both stopped
Her: "Hi"
Me: "You have the most striking sense of style I've seen all day"
Her:"what does that mean?" I detect an accent.
I flashed a sexy smile
Me: "You dress very well" said this even slower.
She smiled and we started walking
Me: " where are you from?"
Her: "Germany"
Now that i've a closer look at her. she's definitely one of the hottest girl I've ever met on the street.
Me: "really? what brings you here?"
Her: "I'm doing a phd on food science...u?"
Me: "I'm...doing dentistry...hence the braces" points to my sexy smile and she laughed.
we exchanged name.
Her: "I just recently went to the dent school....because it's cheaper"
Me: "really? I could be your dentist " [Now that I'm writing this, I realized I could've make a compliment on her lips to make the conversation sexual]
she laughed
Me: "So why do phd here? it's pretty far from Germany"
I can't remember what she said, but I think she gave me a shrug.
We stopped for some reason. Then I noticed her crossing her legs, which is a sign of interest (??)
Her english is not very good because I couldn't understand some parts but she was very sexy. and when she couldn't answer my question, she just give me a shrug lol
so frustrating.

Me: "Hey lets hang out sometime...if thats ok" [why did I say if that's ok]
she looked to the side and smiled. lol I sensed a no coming up.
Her: "hmmmmmm" a long pause
Now I was tempted to just give her my phone and tell her to put her number in. But I felt that was too pushy.
Her: "blah blah blah (couldn't understand her) it was nice meeting you =)"
Me: "you too =) good bye"
Then she walked into the store behind us. OHH so that's why we stopped!
I felt a little disappointed and also frustrated.
I felt my voice was good. Slow and loud. I was relaxed

As I walked home. I opened another girl. she said thank you and as she was starting to walk away, she introduced herself
"Hi I'm Ashly" then extend her hand.
At this point, I was already walking away from her as well, since I thought she was in a rush or something. So with my front half turned towards her and looking at her our of the corner of my eye. I hold her hand and said
"Nice to meet you ashley =)"
Then we went our separate way. Hmmm maybe should've engaged her?

Things to keep improve on
1. response rule.
2. facial expression
3. voice.

Some things to work on during the conversation.
Deep diving, Screening/Qualifying, Chase framing, Cold read, Push-Pull, Sexual framing.

Keep grinding! Tomorrow will be better

 

[Mr. oblivious]

Then I noticed her crossing her legs, which is a sign of interest (??)

There is so many possibilities what that could mean i wrote a who paragraph and deleted it cause it didn't really give closure

(i know open body language means they're comfortable)

(but crossing legs while walking is something im not sure about was she getting turned on needed to pee, thought she missed the shop she wanted to go to or does it as a habbit when talking English )

 

[Smith]

Yea, interpreting body language is always a tricky one lol
Sometimes a girl could just fold her arms because she's cold or some shit but some people will interpret it as close.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pv2YvObsYpo

This video showed what I mean when I said she crossed her legs. She did what the girl did in the video. But then again...need more experience with this lol

 

[Smith]

Not particularly proud of myself today. First I was traveling by bus to stay with my parents for a 2 week holiday. It was a long 6 hours bus drive. A cute girl was sitting not next to me, but rather just directly across the aisle. I figured I would open her when we stopped for a lunch break.....but then my bloody ego kicks into overdrive. I started to overanalyze the 'perfect' approach. she was sitting by herself in the cafe and playing with her phone. I've never meet a new girl at a cafe before, but even then I could've just go up and strike up a conversation. Inaction is worst than getting rejected. Need to remind myself that.

By the time, I got off the bus. I wasn't feeling that great. I felt like the same noob I was when I started out. So I decided to hit the mall.
I've only ever did one mall pickup before, so I wasn't comfortable in the environment.
And shit wasn't going so well.
Everyone was shopping with their friends or bfs. I felt out of state, like I literally just wanna go back to my car and called it a day. But fuck that. I'll be more frustrated if I took no action.

I'm ashamed to say I missed 4 or 5 opportunities, which sucks. (Now I just realize I even call it opportunities, so where was the risk?)
I'm pretty bad at situational opener.
Next time, Just take a deep breath and focus on your feet. Don't plan your opener AT ALL. Just go up and say Hi. Just have fun and enjoy the process.

Need to keep pushing my comfort zone!!!ARHHH!!!

So I only opened 2 girls today. chatted with one of them, but turned out she was married.
The second one I opened without solid eye contact and conviction. She looked at me and did a polite smile then said 'thank you' and walked away.
I've never feel this shit before. What happen to just making their day and have fun?

Will go out again tomorrow. Now I need to meditate. I can do this. The rejections mean nothing now.
My goal tomorrow. Get to know 3 girls. Half-assed ones don't count. If she doesn't stay and talk then it doesn't count.
Focus on fundamentals - voice, facial expression and eye contact.

 

[Smith]

Found some great new mindsets.


Being socially free is a way to create safety and security. Not shyness, which will make you feel even more insecure.
Don't think "How do I do the perfect approach?". Think "How do I give this girl an amazing experience?"
"Anxiety and fear comes from the need to take. You cannot feel fear from a gift."
Expectation creates hesitation
Respect women by meeting them and giving them good energy. They're looking for guys as well.
Before you go up and approach, visualize it like you have already succeed and walked away from that smiling. Negative thoughts and feeling will unconsciously create negative results, which becomes a vicious cycle.
Visualize yourself doing something to pump yourself up.


Gonna practice my assumptive opener. Things I should've said on those missed opportunities
1. Girl at a video game store standing outside looking a bit annoyed.
"Hey, looks like you would rather be standing outside a jewelry store"
"Hey, looks like you're planning a revenge on your friend for making you wait."
"I'm gonna guess you don't like video games"

2. 2 girls standing in front of a chocolate cafe checking out the food.
"Hey, u guys just wanna eat everything don't u?"
"enjoying the view?"
"Hey, It's just sooo hard to pick when you have so much chocolate in front you right?"

3. a girl standing outside a jewelry store checking out necklaces
"Hey, if you're planning on robbing the store, count me in"
"Hi, I bet they look great on you"
"Enjoying the view?"

4. A girl sitting by herself eating and reading something on her phone with her head real close to the phone.
"Hi, how does it feel to be madly in love with your phone"
"you wanna borrow my glasses?"
"Hi, it looks like you're watching something dirty on your phone"

 

[Smith]

Pretty good day today because I pushed myself.
Went to a different and bigger mall, which is also a little further away.
I reminded myself of the mindset. Your intention is giving. Give the girl a good time. Everything else is secondary.
Went into the video section of the warehouse and saw this chick picking out video. Kinda stood around her and stalked her for 30 seconds lol but still opened her with a compliment. She smiled and said thank you then walked away. No big deal. She also looks a bit young. Later saw her at the checkout counter with her dad. lol being direct maybe a little too much. But I'm just so stuck on opening with an assumptive opener or situationally.

Then saw another chick picking out shoes. Decided to try out my situational opener. Was also fucking nervous for some reason. Was thinking about walking away but then turned back.
Picked up a pair of girl shoes. "Hey, do you think these come in my size?" said it with a weak voice and kinda looking for approval. ARHH.
She didn't even think it's funny. LOLOL. I'm just laughing at myself for being this creepy. But still glad I put myself out there in this awkward situation.
Mistake number one - opened from her back.
Mistake number two - squeaky voice. Just take a deep breath and relax buddy. It's not the end of the world.

Feeling a lot more relaxed now.
Went on to talk to a girl from Chile at the supermarket. Opened her directly. She was receptive and fun. But I eject myself because she was lining up to check out. ARH. Should've lead her away from the line for a little bit, and take her number. Need to push myself for close when the opportunity presents itself.
I bought a bottle of water because of I was thirsty.
Saw this another girl waiting in line. I got out early, so I waited outside the supermarket and checking my phone looking busy.
Then as she walked out. Opened her directly. She was wearing a lovely dress and had a name tag on, and turned out she was just on her way back to work. So I just let her go.
Then open another blonde who walked out of a jewelry but I got the feeling she was a bit old maybe late 20s (?) I always got people saying I look young.
She smiled and said "thanks! that's very nice!"
I decided to talk to another girl before I left. Saw this cute girl walking. Literally followed her for a bit, since I'm kinda paranoid about a potential friend/father/brother lurking around. lol. She sit down. Perfect. Opened her directly and sit next to her.
I kept my calm. she was only 19 when I thought she would be 24 or something. kinda interesting. We talked for what seemed like 10 minute. She's kinda nervous. There's a couple of awkward silence, but I let it sink in because I realized I was carrying too much of the conversation. So I just smiled and stared into space waiting for her to engage. and BAM she did. I eject myself at the high point of the conversation when she was laughing about a joke I made. Didn't number close her because I wasn't confident she want to exchange number. But maybe I should've? Maybe I was looking too hard for signs of attraction. OH YEA. Should've just ASSUME ATTRACTION.

 

[Smith]

Gonna test "are you single" as my opener.
Goal - open all girls with this opener.

Focus on voice, facial expression and eye contact. Don't smile too much, but do smile a bit.

Deep diving - focus on one topic at a time then transit smoothly. And the conversation be going somewhere. Take it somewhere revealing, insightful and interesting.

Masculine vibe - calm, strong, emotionally unaffected, mature, solid, grounded, chilled, laid back, knowing he will win in the end, don't try to prove himself, laser-like focus and clarity in his eyes, crystal clear presence in front of women, slow and deliberate movement.

A good checklist for troubleshooting openers from Chase's article

Was she intimidated by me? Am I too strong or too attractive for her to feel like she can get, or more strong or attractive than the kind of man she’s accustomed to dating?
Was she distracted and not prepared to engage socially when I approached her?
Was my opener poorly chosen or my energy level not properly matched to hers?
Was I hesitant at all during the open? Did my opener feel natural as I said it?
Was my body language good?
Did I make an effort to engage her despite the opener not immediately opening her up?

 

[Smith]

Was on my way home from the gym. Went to the supermarket to buy some food. One thing about living in a bigger city is that you get to meet women of all ages, and it's not like in my college town where almost everyone is about the same age wherever you go.

Saw the back of a blonde with a fantastic figure in the supermarket. (note this is a supermarket in my suburb, so the people who shop there are mostly older people). Was afraid to open because I'm scared she might turn out a lot older, but damn, I knew my ego was making an excuse. As she turned around. She was quite cute, but does look a little bit mature. Still kicking myself for not opening her. Later on at the check out counter. Saw her at another line slightly in front of me. But damn, my line was going so slow.
She walked out first. After I paid for my stuff, I tried to determine which way she went, and there she was, across the road and disappeared into a corner. Debated whether it's worth trying to catch up to her, but then said to myself wth, might as well. (probably should've done this earlier in the supermarket lol). As I cross the road and turned into the corner, I saw her a little bit further away, but was talking to a couple of mid age couple. Ahh fck. I'm guess I'm done.

Not gonna let my ego succeed. I put my food back into my car and went back to the small shopping mall. This girl just walked out. I caught up to her and opened her.
My voice and vibe was good. Pretty smooth, but my deep dive. ARRH terrible lol. It's normally better than this. So I went with the fun vibe. When I asked her how old she was because she looked a bit young. She told me yea she's still in high school. I smirked and looked away and said "I don't think this is gonna work out between us".
she laughed and punched me in the arm very girly, and said she has a bf. lol did not expect that.

With this one, I was gonna open with the "are you singe", but it seemed like she was busy going somewhere, so I opened with a compliment.
As it turns out, she was gonna wait in the car park for her parents to pick her up, so she wasn't going anywhere.

Keep up the clam, chilled, laid back vibe, which ultimately leads to a calmer slower voice.
Need to be in the present and improve my deep diving.

 

[Smith]

Went to the mall this afternoon.
#1 girl
Turns out she doesn't really speak english, and her face were blank whenever I asked her something lol So needless to say, it ended pretty quickly


#2 girl at the bookstore
can't believe I freaking hesitated. I was floating around the bookstore for 5 minutes before finally said to myself fuck it. Let's go.
Opened up alright with a compliment, but then I didn't really carry the conversation in the first minute. I only got myself to blame for this one because she did ask one question and I let the conversation dried up.
Note to self - relax buddy, be social, and take a deep breath after you open because your voice got weak. Also, the more u hesitate, the more nervous you become, so go up to her before your nerve got to u.
Troubleshoot - felt like she was not really engaged.
- Hesitated for too long.
- did not make a good effort trying to engage her after my opener.

#3 blonde
open from the side with "are you single"
We locked eye contact for a few seconds and she paused (probably assessing me) then cracked into a big smiled "sort of, but I'm not really looking for a relationship. I'm really flattered though" lol
She looked older than me but still cute. I was too young for her?

#4 got blown out
I saw this girl around the mall a couple of times, and when I was about to catch up to her and open her, she went into the women's store so I didn't go in with her. But as I was walking back to my car deciding to call it a day, I saw her again, and opened her from the side.
"Excuse me, I saw u here and love ur pant. it's really colourful so I had to come and say hi"
lol as I typed this out, I realize this was the most stupid shit I've ever said in terms my opener. But it was genuine though. Her pant grabbed my attention.
But maybe it also had to do with the way I open. I rushed it and smiled too much.
She just said OK with a bitch face then walk away. Probably wasn't too happy about the compliment as well lol
Oh well! Big deal!
Trouble shoot
- poorly chosen opener and too nervous because I failed to open her the first time
- Body language poor - leaning in. approval seeking.

 

[Smith]

Objectives for next time
1. Try pre-open - tap a girl on the shoulder, smile then eye contact. I've noticed my facial expression can be too serious when I forgot to smile lol
2. Fundamentals!! Need to keep reminding myself when I'm out.
3. response rule. good conversation. Be in the moment.

That's it for now. Don't wanna get too complicated.

 

[Eternity]

These approaches remind me of mine when i was younger and in school. I noticed (as I did) you are missing "edge" with these girls/approaches. But that is fine because you are calibrating your mind to learn the basics in fundamentals and body language. Ditch the "are you single" opener, it's more for advanced guys with a bad boy vibe who are amused with women and truly not give a fuck much what happens. You are still learning, thus stick to indirect openers but also more pauses, more aloofness after she's investing in your conversation. Also, your eyes should flicker with intensity and lust after she says/does something you like. Your body language should be pointing away from her because she has your attention not the other way around.

Flip the script, your words/ statements to these girls betray hints of guy who is scare to move forward with a girl. If you read my "Tips and Tricks" thread you see links to Heartiste, another great seducer whose style is almost similar to mine, give or take a few things that are different. Read them, apply them and see if they work for you. It might be time to level up and his style might just work for you. Like I like to say blend styles together to improve your own.
As my oneitis once told me when she turned me down, "You have to be more blunt, more direct. I didn't know you liked me until it started to become apparent and then I finally figured it out" Her words still haunt me till this day...