Smith's journal

[Rage]

Hey Smith,

A few thought about this last approach:

So we decided to go to this italian neighbourhood and find an italian restaurant.
At the italian restaurant, she opened up a lot more than last time, and was talking 70-80% of the time. I had an intense and focused eye contact the whole time.
One thing I still found difficult to do was to put in some sexual frame and chase framing.

It sounds like you were deep-diving her well at this point, good warming her up.

After that, it took us a while to go back to the harbour to take the ferries.
On the boat, we were sitting at the front and looking out at the clear blue sky and sunset.
It was one of those moments I'll remember for a long time. I put my arm around her and hold her close to me.
As we ride the ferry back, she started to text her bf. I got up, walked to the side of the boat and enjoyed the view.
She took her camera, stood up and walked towards me.

After you deep dived her and moved her, there would be some point in the conversation where she started to talk less (or just shut up almost entirely), and that would have been where you should've went for the kiss (so after the deep dive when she's really warm to you... that cool down point after where she's quieter and it seems like she's anticipating something is when you should've escalated).

It was a failed escalation window, and you should've went for a kiss roughly around the time you guys were taking in the view together :/

After we got off the boat, we stood in front of each other, not knowing what to say.
Whenever she made eye contact with me, she wouldn't hold it, but look down then away.
I was tempted to kiss her, but I missed the chance and she took a step back.
she told me that she didn't know being friendly could be misunderstood, and that she wasn't playing any game
lol girl u friendzoning me? Don't be bitter I told myself. Don't be bitter. It was my fault for not being clear about my intent, even though I thought I was pretty clear with all the touching, but not enough chase framing and sexual framing.
I didn't respond to the first part, and replied I don't play games too.

She was expecting a kiss (some emotional part of her) and then after if the girl doesn't get the kiss then she will be off for a while (explaining why she wouldn't hold eye contact), and then will give a rational reason for it. She'll rationalize it to herself and to you if you ask her (sort of in the same way that "guy likes girl, guy tells girl he likes her, girl says lets be friends, guy cheers himself up and says meh i didn't like her that much anyway"; the girl does this to her self, if the guy doesn't lead and escalate within the appropriate window of opportunity.

I'm glad you're hitting this sticking point bro, because after this one you'll be able to recognize it quick with the next girls to come.

I hit this exact sticking point in almost exactly the same way (and kicked myself over it for a while, but learned a ton from it). I was looking over a view lying on a hill with a girl all alone, couple years back... and we were the only ones on the hill too and the girl was even helping me out stroking my hair and feeling up my chest... and then I didn't go for the kiss, and I saw how quickly she turned off after ... All kinds of rationalization from her end about how I'm pretty young and we should just be friends, but you'll know what the real reason it didn't happen is (and know that her rationalizations are false and only the result of you not escalating in time or escalating at all).

I stood on the platform and watched her got on the train. She was standing inside the train and we made eye contact. I smiled and glanced away and looked back.
She waved goodbye. We maintained eye contact as the train started to roll away. I looked away and looked back quickly, and we locked eyes again.
Then the train disappeared into the dark.
This should be the last time I'll ever see her again.

A fitting way to see a girl for the last time ... after my fail on the hill, it was the last time I saw my girl too, but the lesson is invaluable and enduring nevertheless.

After this, I decided to do just one pick up, since I haven't done any today, and it was getting cold and my knee hurt.
It wasn't the smoothest open lol
she got scared for some reason (which I think it's cause she was wearing earphones, and I didn't realize this until she turned towards me)
But I diffused it by calling it out "I know this is pretty random and u were looking pretty scared" in a humours tone and she started laughing and saying thank you.
oh well, that was fun.

Good move man, on to the next girl... making great progress Smith

Good luck,

-Gem

 

[Smith]

thanks for the feedback man!

After you deep dived her and moved her, there would be some point in the conversation where she started to talk less (or just shut up almost entirely), and that would have been where you should've went for the kiss (so after the deep dive when she's really warm to you... that cool down point after where she's quieter and it seems like she's anticipating something is when you should've escalated).

It was a failed escalation window, and you should've went for a kiss roughly around the time you guys were taking in the view together :/

Yea when we were taking in the view, we barely talked at all =/ I could tell she got rational after we got off the boat, and the moment was gone.

I'm kinda glad and disappointed that we met oversea because she's the type I would usually go for in a LTR, but I had no place to pull her and I was going back. BUT...we do live in the same country though lol so maybe....somewhere down the future we'll meet again. I do have her number, but who knows. Meanwhile... on to the next girl

 

[Smith]

Just got back last night, but did go out during the day to meet girls before heading to the airport.

Can't remember how many girls I opened.
The first one was a girl from England sitting alone. A great way to warm up.
Opened her and we talked for a bit, and she asked me to buy cigarettes for her and she said she'll love me forever if I do that. I laughed and made some excuses that I don't have my ID with me. Didn't really connect with her that much probably because I'm not in the zone yet.

Second girl was this asian standing alone waiting for someone. There was an old woman standing nearby, but I went for it anyway. She was warm and receptive.
We talked about her goals to become a journalist and her life in general. During the conversation, we were interrupted by the old women, who was asking me for the time. she told me she has a bf of 3 years, but they're in a long distance relationship (why are people so into LDR these days). Changed the subject. Then told her we should exchange numbers and get coffee if I ever come back again, and she said yea sure.

Next was this girl who was checking out a street artist. Hesitated for a bit, although I should've opened her right there before she started walking (you'll see why later).
As she started walking for a bit, I caught up to her and opened her, but out of nowhere, her friend joined her right after I delivered my opener.
It was kinda awkward lol since her friend didn't look so happy. But what I should've done was to probably ask her friend if I could borrow her for a minute.

Then I opened this girl who was taking pictures. Turned out her english wasn't that good, so it was hard for me to carry the conversation. She traveled a lot, pretty much all over the world. It was interesting to hear her stories.

The last girl I opened before I headed to the airport was a girl from Holland. It was her last day here as well. During the conversation I commented on how beautiful her eyes are and she got shy. In the end, she offered me her fb to add her. I guess that's the best we could do for now. When you made a connection with someone else, the number/fb close feels a lot more natural because you genuinely want to see them again.

At the airport, I saw two girls I could possibly open. One was sitting down by herself, but her position made it hard to open her. The other one was walking slowly, so I went for the walking one. AND WHAT A SMALL WORLD! She looked really familiar, so I asked her if she's taking the same flight as me and she said yea, and it turned out we went to the same high school lol We have a lot of mutual friends, but back in high school, I was a nobody haha so she probably don't even remember me.

She's cool, more like the girl you would have as a bro, so we just hang out until we board the flight.

It has been a great week. I've met more new girls in the past week than I've ever done in the past month. I wish I had stayed longer, but I'm definitely gonna travel a lot more in the future and move to a big city once I graduate.

But for now, back to the small town uni. Things will probably get busy.

 

[Smith]

thought I should rest my knee today but... screw that it doesn't hurt that much anyway, so went to do some mall game.
I have to admit. I miss sydney already. The quality of the girl (in terms of look) in my home town just can't be compared, but told myself to lower my standard.

As always, tried to get the first one out of the way quickly. Saw this chick standing alone waiting outside the cinema.
Walked over slowly. Said "hi" then deliver my opener. She was nervous and gave me the weird look, but diffused it by calling it out that it's random and made it sound like it's not a big deal, which it wasn't. She immediately told me that she has a bf. I changed the subject immediately and talked about something else. I walked away later after I felt like I've warmed up enough.

The second one was a bit weird. I couldn't tell if she was hooked or not or if she was just being polite. Her responses were short and not giving me much to work with, but she started asking me questions after my opener. I felt it was going nowhere, so eject myself.

Number close the next girl. She was just average, and I wasn't feeling like opening her, but did it anyway for practice. We had good connections and she followed me for a while when I said I needed to get back to my car.

The next one was really fun. I didn't get back to my car immediately, but went into a store. Spot this girl looking at something. Circled around for a bit to position myself. Was gonna go direct, but as soon as I saw what she was looking at, I decided to go for an assumptive opener. Some dude drew a penis on a picture and it was hilarious.
Me: "enjoying the picture?"
She started laughing hard.
The conversation was a bit sexual from the start, but I didn't wanna push it too hard since no rapport has been built yet.
I complimented on her style not long after we started talking.
She was very chatted, but mentioned that she was married and has a kid. but she was in a great shape btw. So I didn't close her. but it was a fun experience.

Things I need to remind myself
- remember the conversation tips. Don't think too hard. go into the unfiltered mode. Don't judge your words. Be an ass if you have to.
Things to improve
1. fundamentals - voice - louder and slower from the beginning.
2. bantering/deep-diving (need to do a better job at relating)/ screening-qualifying (need to make it smoother)
3. cold reads
4. sexual frames - still need practice to inject it smoothly into the conversation.
5. flirting - subtlety and implication, wit and chase frames
6. push-pull

 

[Smith]

Took the bus back to uni yesterday. It was a 5 hour bus ride, and there was a 30 min lunch break in the middle.
Already saw this girl sitting on the bus in front of me, and used this lunch break to open her.
Saw her sitting at a table by herself.
Walked past her then turned around: "Hey do you mind if I sit here?"
Her: "yea sure"
then looked down browsing her phone on fb and was listening to music.
hmm. I took out my phone and pretend to be busy as well. Then put my phone back into my pocket.
Me: "How was your holiday?"
She took out her earphones and gave me an inquisitive look. I smile and repeat myself.
After a few lines of conversation. Her body is now fully turned towards me, so I adjust myself to do the same.
We talked for 20 minutes, which surprised me because I didn't realize we had talked that long. Then she mentioned that we should get on the bus.
I got up and she followed me.
Then we exchanged our names.
I asked for her number naturally, and she put it in. Then we went back to our seats on the bus.
The guy sitting next to her started to chat her up but the conversation died down pretty quickly lol

We got off the bus at the same stop, but I just got my luggage and left without saying goodbye, since she wasn't looking at me.
After 30 mins, I texted her an ice breaker.
Me: "I'm surprised we arrived early! glad to have met you today Smith"
Her: "[she joked about how cold the weather is]. So yeah, I guess I'll see you around?"
I saw this as a chance to set up a date. Not gonna reply with a lame answer like "yea definitely"
me: "haha na I don't like fate. Let get hot chocolate or something this week. What's your schedule like?"
Her: "it's pretty insane compare to the last semester"
Her: "But doable though =)"
She was playing a little bit hard to get, and I had to provide days for her to choose, but we still set up a date in the next few days. So yea, keep your cool. don't be too pushy when this happens.

Then I opened more girls today and yesterday (although not as many as I'd have opened back in Sydney when I was on a holiday). Most of them gave me a warm response, but they either had to go because they were running late or they immediately told me they already have a bf. With the bf response, I see them as successful interactions, since they didn't waste my time at all. Number closed an exchange student who just got here a few days ago.

there were times, my ego told me to stop because I might create a bad reputation, then thought to myself....WHAT FUCKING REPUTATION! I DON'T HAVE ANY! I'M GOING OUT TO MAKE THEIR DAY AND IF THEY DON'T WANNA ACCEPT MY GIFT...WELL IT'S THEIR LOSS!

It was also pretty hard to bounce back after a bad interaction, but I'm getting use to it. It shouldn't affect me.

But anyway, my voice is pretty good today. And it's good to be back with friends, where I can get some momentum going before I open girls.

 

[Smith]

Opened only 3 girls today.
First one just to warm up.
Second one I asked for the number too quickly because I was in a rush to get back to class, but still talked to her after she literally said she cannot give me her number. I ignored that, and kept talking and deep diving her. I felt there was a nice connection, but I wasn't sure if I should ask for her number again lol Otherwise, I felt I could've number close her had I waited for a bit of rapport.
Opened the third one on my way home. Had a normal conversation, but she wasn't hooked so didn't number close her. Probably because I wasn't relating enough.
Felt I could've put in a sexual frame during the conversation, but only realized it after the conversation.

I really want to improve this so bad! but I guess I'll just have to do the best I can in this small town.

 

[Smith]

Opened some girls yesterday and today.
Number closed a girl today, but as I said "let's get coffee sometime"
She paused and told me she has a bf and she thought this was a friendly conversation and she didn't want to lead me on. (hmm interesting feedback)
Then she told she does wanna get coffee, but only if we're doing it as friends.
I said OK then she gave me her number.
She seemed cool, and tbh I was just doing this for practice lol so I don't mind having a female friend.
But she did point out my weakness, which is to put in some sexuality into my conversation early on.

Things to improve
1. fundamentals - voice - louder and slower from the beginning.
2. bantering/deep-diving (need to do a better job at relating)/ screening-qualifying (need to make it smoother)
3. cold reads
4. sexual frames - still need practice to inject it smoothly into the conversation.
5. flirting - subtlety and implication, wit and chase frames
6. push-pull

 

[Smith]

Class finished at midday, as I was walking home, saw a girl walking and reading at the same time, like she was really into the book. she doesn't even look up.
I decided to open her.
"excuse me....I've never...seen anyone walking and reading at the same time"
then we got into a short conversation before we part ways.

Then a girl texted me to confirm where we were gonna meet up for coffee.

She got there before me, and have already ordered coffee.
I lined up to order my drink and there was this chick standing in front of me.
She turned around, we made eye contact and she gave me a sexy smile. For a split second, I thought my date would be watching, but then decided to open her anyway.
me: "Nice hat" with a sexy smile
Her: "thanks!"
Then she started to engage me without me prompting. Then our conversation stopped abruptly when it was her turn to order.
After she ordered, she walked back to her seat by herself. If I wasn't here on a date, I would've re-open her right afterwards.

But I returned to my date. It was a little bit awkward in the beginning, but she started to open up.
There was a couple of moments where I dived too deep and the spell was broken. Forgot to bring it back up for air, or just didn't know how
Also hard to inject some sexuality into the conversation. It just didn't feel smooth for me, or sometimes doesn't even occur to me that I could've put in a sexual frame.
I think that would be my sticking point right now in conversations with women.

qualifying, sexual frames and chase framing are things that I'm struggling with right now, but I'm gonna work on them.

Things to improve
1. fundamentals - voice - louder and slower from the beginning.
2. bantering/deep-diving (need to do a better job at relating)/ screening-qualifying (need to make it smoother)
3. cold reads
4. sexual frames - still need practice to inject it smoothly into the conversation.
5. flirting - subtlety and implication, wit and chase frames
6. push-pull

 

[Smith]

Charisma

Was reading chase's article on 10 ways to get girls take you seriously, and finally realize what I've been doing wrong. I've been rewarding investments with humour, which turns me into a friendly guy. Need to reward girls with more sensuality.

Gonna focus on being charismatic while not meeting women
Things I've noted down
- show conviction (be conviced of what you are doing and rid yourself of self-doubt
- be friendly
- don't worry about what people think (about you or your ideas or beliefs)
- be positive, engaging and versatile (u should be able to speak to a variety of people about a variety of topics)
- focused intensity and distracted behaviour (have strong opinions, know what you want, but don't give too much attention to people)

Improving mental skills
- increase vocab
- be a quick thinker (hardest to improve) - be calm in stressful situations.

Things to improve
1. fundamentals - voice - louder and slower from the beginning.
2. bantering/deep-diving (need to do a better job at relating)/ screening-qualifying (need to make it smoother)
3. cold reads
4. sexual frames - still need practice to inject it smoothly into the conversation.
5. flirting - subtlety and implication, wit and chase frames (investment and sexual humour)
6. push-pull

 

[Smith]

A pretty uneventful day.
Opened 3 girls in the morning when I had an hour break between classes. Being sexual is my goal right now.
I felt the first one had a good sexual tone. Opened her direct and I spoke slow and sexy during the conversation. And she was speaking in the same tone as well.
As she started to walk up a flight of stairs, I stood still to see if she'll comply, but she slowly kept walking, so I walked with her for a bit before telling her I have to go the other way. Didn't close her because I started to talk too much in the end and felt like she wasn't hooked even though I could feel the sexual tension.

second one and third one not worth mentioning. Did them as a practice.

In the afternoon, I had an appointment with my orthodontist. I was a few minutes late and saw this cute girl sitting in the waiting area. I slowly walked to the receptionist to tell her I'm here then sit down next to the girl. I saw her playing candy crush on her phone, and used that to open her.
We bantered for a bit about our braces, but just as we were about to exchange names, the dental assistant called my name.
so here's what happened.
Me: "I'm smith btw" extended my hand.
Her: "I'm..."
Dental assistant: "Smith we're ready for you"
Damn. Come on really? said the voice inside my head.
Me: "I'll see u later =)"
Her:"See ya =)"
After I walked into the office, the dental assistant apologized for interrupting my conversation lol.
yea...u cockblocked me...lol
I told her it was ok.

After my appointment, I wondered if I should wait for her then decided against it.
On my way home, I missed a few opportunities, but decided to just do another one.
Saw this cute girl walking on the other side of the street.
I crossed the street.
It was a T-junction, so she was about to cross the street when I pre-opened, and we ended up standing in the middle of the road, so I fumbled my opener.
It was bad timing on my part.
Nonetheless, she was warm and said thank you, but was busy rushing to somewhere.


Things to improve
1. fundamentals - voice - louder and slower from the beginning.
2. bantering/deep-diving (need to do a better job at relating)/ screening-qualifying (need to make it smoother)
3. cold reads
4. sexual frames - still need practice to inject it smoothly into the conversation.
5. flirting - subtlety and implication, wit and chase frames (investment and sexual humour)
6. push-pull

 

[Smith]

Opened 3 girls today.

First one early in the morning on my way to class. I was running late and wasn't gonna open her because of that, but then thought to myself "try it anyway".
Preopen and Opened her, she was warm and receptive but she wasn't stopping, so I exit after my opener.

Second one was an average chick. found it hard to relate to her. she likes to play video games, but since I've already quit those since last year, there wasn't much to connect with her. It was an average conversation.

Third one was a cute girl, who happened to be my type. preopen then opened her. She was rushing to class, but told me I could walk with her. It turned out her class wasn't that far anyway, and it didn't give me enough time to connect with her. All I got out of her was that she was studying maths and her lucky number is 37. lol.
Before she walked away, I proposed a coffee date, she said "ok, later" then walked away.
I pulled out my phone. "wait!"
then she walked back and entered her number.
This wasn't a solid number and it turned out that well as well.
Things dried up over text. No surprise there.
Too bad though. She was really cute.

I'm feeling a little burned out. But I don't feel like I should take a break.
"When things get tough, you grind harder" - This mentality has stayed with me throughout successes in my life.
I still found this enjoyable when I'm doing it, but when I get home, I feel tired and emotionally drained and had no one to talk to about pick up.
I tried to introduce this to one friend, who always complained about not having girls, but never take any actions. (he's still a good guy though)

Things to improve
1. fundamentals - voice - louder and slower from the beginning.
2. bantering/deep-diving (need to do a better job at relating)/ screening-qualifying (need to make it smoother)
3. cold reads
4. sexual frames - still need practice to inject it smoothly into the conversation.
5. flirting - subtlety and implication, wit and chase frames (investment and sexual humour)
6. push-pull

 

[Smith]

Rather interesting day today.
Had an hour break between class and so opened 2 girls.
I was a bit nervous for some reason but remembered to focus on positive reference experience.
Saw this cute blonde who has a very sexy walk. Followed her for a bit because there were people close by, and this uni is too small.
Finally there's a window of opportunity.
Preopened her and gave her a genuine compliment - you have the sexiest walk I've seen all day - I've never used this before.
I want to try open girls with honesty and deliver it with confidence. putting my balls on the line.
She had a wide smile and was surprised.
She started to ask my age (which was random, I look younger than I really am, which is kinda annoying right now but i guess it'll be an advantage in 10-15 years lol)
Then she started to ask if I do this a lot
Her: "do you do this a lot?"
pause. trying to think about her motive
Me: "not really" with a playful smile
Her: "so you've done this before?"
geez lol what are u? a lawyer?
Me: "yea"
I realized I looked down a little too much during the interaction. probably because I felt like I was being interviewed lol
We talked for a bit, then she touched my arm and told me she has a bf, but said thanks anyway.
I walked away laughing at what just happened. I'll take this as a good sign. I must have seem pretty calm and together when I opened her.

I tried to open the second one when she's a few meters in front of me, and this is the first time I've tried this.
Me: "Hey! That's a nice jacket!"
She smiled and was cuter up close.
Her: "Thank you!"
I feel really good after this for some reason. It feels better than a number close.
I finally understand what John Cooper mean when he said pick up can be fundamentally toxic if you're taking values all the time.
Giving a compliment like that without expecting anything back in return makes me feel better about what I'm doing.

After my class in the afternoon, I was hesitant about whether I should keep going.
Then this cute girl who happens to be my type walked past.
OHHH. Thought about it for a few seconds, then turned around to catch up to her.
Preopen then open her.
Tap on the shoulder. She turned around. Then I made eye contact and smile.
Me: "Hey... I just saw you walked past"
She looked at me very surprised. I gave her a skeptical look and she smiled
Me: "and thought you were cute! so I had to say hi"
She immediately opened up, but then said this
Her: "I don't wanna lead you on.....but I already have a bf"
Me: "well that's good to know...What's his name?"
Her: "KC"
Me: "Kacey?" what? isn't that a girl's name
Her: "like KC, two letters, cause of his chinese name"
Me: "haha oh really? well.... in that case my chinese name is KC as well"
Her: "haha really?"
Me: "yea what a coincidence huh"
then we did our grocery shopping together. I led her through the supermarket and she waited for me without me asking.
I qualified her well a couple of times and it seemed natural.
She doesn't seem shy like she said she was lol She seemed like a homebody.
I got her number in the end and sent her an icebreaker text, to which she replied.
Although I doubt I'll do anything from this point onwards, since I'm pretty cautious about girls who already have a bf, and it seemed like they live together as well.

Things to improve
1. fundamentals - voice - louder and slower from the beginning.
2. bantering/deep-diving (need to do a better job at relating)/ screening-qualifying (need to make it smoother)
3. cold reads
4. sexual frames - still need practice to inject it smoothly into the conversation.
5. flirting - subtlety and implication, wit and chase frames (investment and sexual humour)
6. push-pull

 

[Smith]

Busy day today. class started from 9am and finished at 5pm.
So by the time I'm on the street, it's already dark and cold.
Nonetheless, I need to meet some women.
As soon as I stepped out of the door, this cute girl walked past.
Turned around and opened her. When she told me she is a doctor, I tensed up and put pressure on myself. Somehow, thinking smart girls are harder to get.
I asked way too many questions and failed to relate.

There were now fewer people on the streets, so I decided to do another one.
The interaction feels like average for me, but she started asking me questions soon after my opener and was smiling and laughing at the stuff I said.
Then, out of no where, she mentioned her bf. lol. Didn't number close her.
Still felt like the conversation was too friendly.
I could've stayed on a few topics for a little bit longer and ask interesting questions, and I also forgot to come back on a few interesting things she mentioned.
Anyway, I think i've just started to warm up, but I decided to go home and have dinner.


Things to improve
1. fundamentals - voice - louder and slower from the beginning.
2. bantering/deep-diving (need to do a better job at relating and don't jump topics too soon - ask few interesting questions)/ screening-qualifying (need to make it smoother)
3. cold reads
4. sexual frames - still need practice to inject it smoothly into the conversation.
5. flirting - subtlety and implication, wit and chase frames (investment and sexual humour)
6. push-pull

 

[Smith]

Still kicking myself for not pulling my date home early today..again. Sometimes, I just lose track of the time and miss the window.

Anyway, let's start from last night. I texted two girls to set up a date. One from last week who said to take a raincheck. One from two days ago, which I got her number after only a few lines of conversation because she was running late.

The first girl decided to meet with me today.
The second girl sent me two texts, both longer than her usual one liner, but she was telling me that her bf might be unhappy.
I knew the chances of getting her out was slim, so I experimented with some aloof and intrigue text game, and she was intrigued immediately.
She asked for my last name and admitted that she wanted to search me on fb.
I tried to push for a date because I felt like the bantering was enough, but then got a no-reply. haha. Wasn't expecting much anyway.

After class finished at midday, I decided to meet some girls.
I was a bit nervous and lost a few opportunities because there were people walking next to the girl and I was afraid of the attention I'll get. It was also because the street was quiet. I had no problem with this in sydney when the streets were even more crowded, but because the louder background noise, I felt more comfortable. I don't know. Maybe I'm making excuses. Damn. Why do I give more of a fuck about other people than the girl? Maybe because this town is too small. There were numerous occasions when I'm about to open a girl, she bumped into her friends.

The first girl I opened was a bit nervous, but I preopend, and deliberately slowed down my opener and added pauses. So she was warm, but wasn't interested.
Then I bumped into this girl I opened two days ago, who already have a bf. I was just wondering whether I should send her a text to ask her out, but glad I didn't.
At first, she was across the road waiting for the light and she waved at me, but I didn't recognize her. There was a guy standing next to her, who didn't look too pleased.
So I smiled and waved back. Then as she crossed the road. we made eye contact again. I stood still for a few seconds after she walked past, then I turned my head around and cross the road. To my surprise, she was standing a few meters behind me looking at me. (the guy has disappeared) I smiled and she waved goodbye.
I took a few steps forward and right when I'm about halfway cross the road, I turned around and ran after her.
For some reason, I wanted to see her again so bad. She looked a lot like my first crush.
I caught up to her.
Me: "hey!"
Her: "oh hey!" She seemed pleasantly surprise
Me: "what are you doing this weekend?"
Her: "um I'm gonna visit my parent. They live 30 mins away"
Me: "right! What are you doing now?"
Her: "I was just teaching that guy some stuff. I met him last week" (so just an orbiter I see)
Me: "Actually, I was heading that way, but I had to come back..."
Her: "yea u looked confused back there"
Me: "yea just wondering when you're free to get a coffee or hot chocolate"
Her: "You're really forward."
I smiled
me: "How about this? Let's get hot chocolate and we'll see what happen"
She seemed hesitant and mentioned her bf but complied anyway as I started to walk towards the cafe.
We had a bit of chat before we got the cafe, but since the cafe was full. I grabbed my hot chocolate and we took a walk to the mall. On the way, I accidentally spilled my drink and she offered me some tissue paper. She didn't order any drink btw.
On the way to the mall, she told me that she told her bf about me.
Her: "My bf is really down to earth (blah blah blah). So I told him about u yesterday... you're really forward. I feel a bit pushed"
Me: "oh really?"
I was surprised, but I assumed she's talking about right now (not when I met her two days ago) , so I guess this insta-date was a bit pushing it. What do guys think about this? I feel I had to push it in this case. If I had texted her, it wouldn't have work because she was gonna visit her parents.
Her: "He said I should just man up and tell you to go away , because I'm too nice. and there was this incident last week as well when I was approached. I must have looked pretty approachable haha"
Oh wow! I've seen girls giving me harsh rejections, and believe me, if you didn't want me to be there, I can tell lol This girl was all smiling and telling me about herself when I met her two days ago. I asked about what happened when she was approached last week, and she mumbled some shit I couldn't hear.
Me: "well do u want me to go away?" said it in a matter of fact tone.
She didn't say anything.

As we got to the mall, we just looked around some random shops selling random interesting stuff. It turned out we had a lot in common.
We saw some interesting birthday cards, and found out that we actually have the same BIRTHDAY! would u fking believe it? but she's older than me though.
It was fun hanging out with her, and if I wasn't meeting other girls, I would fall SOO hard for her, but I controlled my emotions.
Time flies, and I've to go meet my date soon. I didn't tell her about this, but she told me she had to go pack her stuff and drive to her parent's place.
As we stood on the street about to say goodbye.
I put on a sexy smile and looked thoughtfully
Her: "what are you thinking?
pause
Me: "that you have a bf"
She then told me that she's happy and her bf is really down to earth (oh really? the guy who told u to tell me to fuck off? I wanna meet this guy already)
She told me she's not the type who plays around and we can be friends, but she can feel I won't be comfortable. Hmm. True. No intention to be friends here.
But if she's happy, I'm not gonna intervene. So I told her I understand.
Her: "I was surprised to see u again today. If we meet again, it will be another adventure =)"
Me: "haha right! we've been living in the same town for 4 years, and I only just saw u for the first time two days ago."
She then told me where she usually hangs out, and funnily, I have walked past her lab so many times before.
She had to go right and I had to go left.
I watched her walked to the end of the street and as she turned left, she turned her head around, we made eye contact, and she disappeared.

Then I walked to the cafe to meet my date.
Our conversation was great! and there was strong attraction at the start when we both maintained strong eye contact, but I started to get tired and the conversation started to become a little bit impersonal towards the end, and there was a short silent after about an hour and 20 mins.
I realized I probably should've pulled about 20 mins ago haha.
I kinda lost interest in her towards the end. She's really not my type. But she did get my mind off the previous girl.
I still ran into the same problem of missing an escalation window. I think I probably could've pulled in the first 20 mins, but I saw she still hadn't even touched her coffee!! So I decided against it. Anyway, the date ended pretty average. Not my best work.

After this, there was still a bit of day light. Let's meet more girls.
Opened 3 girls. Misjudged the age of the first one. She seemed too old for me, and she knew this too.
The second one...not sure what happened. I think I did a bad job relating to her, and the conversation ended awkwardly when we ran out of things to say.
Need to remember to relate to what I hear, offer more details and ask interesting questions.

The third one was an average looking chick. I did it to practice because it was getting dark. By now, I've warmed up enough and was really calm. She was hooked immediately.
Me: "Let's hang out and get coffee sometime"
Her: "oh do u wanna get my number?'
I paused and think about this. Power shift.
Me: "Well do u wanna give me ur number?"
her: "Yea I wanna give u my number"
she turned towards me and grabbed my phone.
I wasn't really interested in this one. But I might just ask her out to practice.


Things to improve
1. fundamentals - voice - louder and slower from the beginning.
2. bantering/deep-diving (need to do a better job at relating and don't jump topics too soon - ask few interesting questions)/ screening-qualifying (need to make it smoother)
3. cold reads
4. sexual frames - still need practice to inject it smoothly into the conversation.
5. flirting - subtlety and implication, wit and chase frames (investment and sexual humour)
6. push-pull

 

[Smith]

Went to a group meditation this morning, and I felt great afterwards. My mind was calm and clear.
Only opened 2 girls today. I felt like I need to provide more feedback in a conversation when I can't relate, then I can go on to ask more questions.
The 2nd girl I opened kept walking away even though my voice was calm, low and loud (this was after my meditation), then I commanded her to stay, and she did, but for some reason, my mind was empty and the conversation wasn't that great.
But great lesson though, if you're chill and non-needy, the girl would more likely to follow your command.

Things to improve
1. fundamentals - voice - louder and slower from the beginning.
2. bantering/deep-diving (relating and don't jump topics too soon, ask few interesting questions, provide feedback)/ screening-qualifying (need to make it smoother)
3. cold reads - which has a ladder and it gets more intense - target emotion, personality, sexuality
4. sexual frames - still need practice to inject it smoothly into the conversation.
5. flirting - subtlety and implication, wit and chase frames (investment and sexual humour)
6. push-pull

 

[Smith]

Opened 1 girl on my way to class. I had a long pause during my opener, because her eyes were just so sexy haha. Here's what happened.
Me: "Excuse me.."
She turned her head. Then I made eye contact
Her: "yea?" she smiles
Me: "this is a bit random" Then I got lost in her eyes for a few seconds.
Her: "are u lost?"
yup....lost in your eyes.
I smiled back
Me: "I just saw you standing there, and thought ur cute....so I had to say hi"
Her smile was even bigger now.
Her: "haha Thank you!"
She was surprised and didn't know what to say. So I introduced myself.
We only had a short conversation afterwards.

Then after 2 1/2 hours of class. I have an hour to kill before meeting my mentor for meditation. I thought about just going home because the weather is so damn cold. There was a storm, but it's starting to clear. The nerves started to build up, but I pushed through it, which I'm glad
The second girl I opened wasn't that great, but u gotta start somewhere right?
The third girl was a cute red head. But somehow couldn't connect with her. I moved her right after my opener, she stayed to talk. We talked about what she's studying. Why she's doing psychology instead of commerce or something else, but she just told me because she likes it. So I changed the topic to what she does for fun, which used to be swimming. I teased her about it. I was a little eager in this interaction, which probably is what went wrong.
The fourth girl was a korean chick. She was an exchange student here for a few more months. I've never had any luck with these exchange students haha.
I pushed myself and command her to say. Number-closed her, but she still hasn't reply to my ice-breaker text. Not expecting much with this one.

The first few interactions are always the hardest. Sometimes I feel like it needs to go great, but that's not a good mindset to have in any interactions because it's needy. I should just enjoy myself and have fun.

After reading Ricardus's article on grit, I realize I need to make my goal clear because I almost lost my motivation today.

My goal: To have fun while making emotional connections with cute girls.

Ultimate goal: Be able to date and sleep with amazing women who are adventurous and fun.

Things to improve
1. fundamentals - voice - louder and slower from the beginning.
2. bantering/deep-diving (relating and don't jump topics too soon, ask few interesting questions, provide feedback)/ screening-qualifying (need to make it smoother)
3. cold reads - which has a ladder and it gets more intense - target emotion, personality, sexuality
4. sexual frames - still need practice to inject it smoothly into the conversation.
5. flirting - subtlety and implication, wit and chase frames (investment and sexual humour)
6. push-pull

 

[Smith]

Stayed up late last night and felt tired this morning.
I had a two hour lunch break before going back to class.
Saw this cute girl as soon as I walked out of the door (this happens a lot haha), I still feel a little nervous if I'm opening girls in front of other people when they can clearly hear me.
I've no problem doing this if the environment is noisy, but when it gets quiet, the spotlight effect occurs.
Anyway, I opened her, and we got into a conversation. She wasn't contributing much, so I bantered for a bit until she started to warm up.
Number closed her, but her phone number has one more digit than usual, so I thought it was a fake, but she replied to my icebreaker text.

The second girl I opened was closed off and reserved.

The third girl was flattered when I opened her, but she told me she has a bf. I still chatted with her to practice. Thought I did a reasonably good job conversation-wise.
Didn't number close her.

Then I went to have lunch. The classes in the afternoon was very draining. I felt exhausted afterwards, but I had to buy some groceries.
The supermarket is one of those places I don't feel comfortable opening girls, and I've only done it 3 times before. (All of which weren't too bad to be honest)
So I walked around for 30 minutes trying to muster the courage to open girls, then followed this girl to the self-check-out counter. My plan was to open her outside the supermarket lol.
BUT then I saw this other cuter girl who was walking out, I decided to open her instead. I was pretty nervous (probably due to the nerves that has build up in the supermarket) and my mouth was dry, so my voice wasn't at its best, and I was also taking this too seriously, so I forgot to smile.
Nonetheless, she was pretty warm when I opened her. It turned out she lives quite close to me, so we both started walking. (Now I remember where I've seen her lol I don't usually like to open girls that live too close to me because I felt it could get awkward if I failed)
She started to throw back questions at me after I ask her something. I was scared to dive too deep or to ask too many questions. The conversation wasn't at its best I have to admit. I tried too hard to filter my thoughts.
She re-initiated the conversation twice. I wasn't sure if that's a sign of interest. ARRGH Deep down I didn't want to believe she could be attracted to me. But maybe she was interested ? fk...gotta let it go now. Forgot to assume attraction.
I got nervous a few times in the conversation, and I started to speak way too fast. But still managed to calm myself whenever it happened. This usually happens whenever I found myself talking to girls who are my type and taller than me lol.
I didn't number close her because I didn't feel like the connection was real and genuine. The conversation was treading on surface mostly, I didn't qualify her at all. In fact, I always forget to qualify girls. Need to focus on this during the conversation.

Things to improve
1. fundamentals - voice - louder and slower from the beginning.
2. bantering/deep-diving (relating and don't jump topics too soon, ask few interesting questions, provide feedback)/ screening-qualifying (need to do it)
3. cold reads - which has a ladder and it gets more intense - target emotion, personality, sexuality
4. sexual frames - still need practice to inject it smoothly into the conversation.
5. flirting - subtlety and implication, wit and chase frames (investment and sexual humour)
6. push-pull

 

[Smith]

Thought I had a little breakthrough today. Opened 3 girls after my class finished at 5pm. I was feeling really tired, but after I opened the first one (which didn't go great), I feel energized lol.

With the 2nd girl I opened, I built a little rapport in the beginning, then I just spontaneously let a sexual comment passing through, and the girl loved it. It was flirty kinda fun and I've never get to this stage with a girl I just met for 5 minutes! It made me feel like I wanna do this again.

Things to improve
1. fundamentals - voice - louder and slower from the beginning.
2. bantering/deep-diving (relating and don't jump topics too soon, ask few interesting questions, provide feedback)/ screening-qualifying (need to do it)
3. cold reads - which has a ladder and it gets more intense - target emotion, personality, sexuality
4. sexual frames - still need practice to inject it smoothly into the conversation. The more comfortable and relaxed u r, the easier it is to spontaneously let a sexual comment pass through.
5. flirting - subtlety and implication, wit and chase frames (investment and sexual humour)
6. push-pull

 

[Smith]

Opened 4 girls today. Was gonna take a break, but just can't seem to do it. It's like my daily routine now.
First girl - accidentally cut her off and broke rapport.
Second girl - was cute, but the conversation didn't get started. Should've tried harder.
Third girl - This was frustrating, because I opened well. I didn't follow my usual script, but just told her where I saw her and I had to come meet her. I was thinking too hard about interesting ways to talk about her and as a result....I was too stuck in my head and didn't relate when I should've. We didn't get past small talk. Next time, I should just relax and enjoy the conversation while letting interesting ideas spontaneously pop into my mind. That seemed to work best in the past. Focusing too much of your brain process on techniques can do more harm than good during an interaction.
Fourth girl - I opened her to practice my conversation skill. lol. The conversation was really fun and interesting because I had no pressure to close her. I wish it's like this with cute girls.


Things to improve
1. fundamentals - voice - louder and slower from the beginning.
2. bantering/deep-diving (relating and don't jump topics too soon, ask few interesting questions, provide feedback - keep talking about her and drawing inferences about her in interesting ways)/ screening-qualifying (need to do it)
3. cold reads - which has a ladder and it gets more intense - target emotion, personality, sexuality
4. sexual frames - still need practice to inject it smoothly into the conversation. The more comfortable and relaxed u r, the easier it is to spontaneously let a sexual comment pass through.
5. flirting - subtlety and implication, wit and chase frames (investment and sexual humour)
6. push-pull

 

[Smith]

Took a two days break. Reflect on the interactions I had with girls and realized that sometimes I tend to get hung up on topics and need to keep the conversation on the girl.
Was worried that I'll be too nervous to meet new girls but...ended up opening 5 girls haha.
I've decided to lower my standard just a little bit more so I can get more practice. This opened up more opportunities for me.

Failed to preopen the first girl and she wasn't warm at all. lol she walked away immediately. Haha. Haven't got one of those for a while.
Not gonna let this affect me.

Made sure I preopen the second girl properly. She was warm, but gave me the bf objection immediately. I ignored it and gave her a genuine compliment about her scarf.

Third girl....I don't know what happened to me lol I froze after my opener, and she seemed interested. This is the only one that I wished I didn't eject myself so early.

Forth girl - A pretty good interaction I thought, but when I proposed a date, she seemed reluctant. (maybe I closed too fast...but I felt it was the right time given that good rapport was built). So I Ignored it. and talked about something else. Then I suggest we exchange numbers. She pulled out her phone. I pulled out my phone. So we both got each other's number. This is so weird. Maybe she just wasn't attracted. She didn't reply to my icebreaker text. Sometimes I got dates from numbers I thought would be flakey and then I got no reply from numbers I thought was solid.
Anyone experienced this before?

Fifth girl - Don't know if she was nervous or what.
Saw her crossing the road.
Me: "Excuse me"
She turned around
Me: "I just saw u crossing the road..."
Her: "Oh I'm sorry! was I not meant to?"
In my head, I'm like what?
Me: "oh no haha. I thought u have a lovely sense of style so I had to stop u"
Her: [can't remember what she said]
Me: "So are u a student here?"
Her: "yea I'm doing my masters...do u wanna come see my painting?"
Me: "umm sure"
Then we talked about her painting on the way there, which was a short walk.
She told me she's gonna skype her friend to show her the painting, and she told me I could stay or go if I want. I told her ok.
By now, I'm running out of time because I've to get back to class. Maybe I should've told her I can't stay long anyway.
I walked around checking out the paintings, and she's still talking to her friend on skype.
After about 10 minutes. I sense this was going no where, so I left without saying goodbye.

Things to improve
1. fundamentals - voice - louder and slower from the beginning.
2. bantering/deep-diving (relating and don't jump topics too soon, ask few interesting questions, provide feedback - keep talking about her and drawing inferences about her in interesting ways)/ screening-qualifying (need to do it). Keep the conversation on her. Don't get hung up on topics.
3. cold reads - which has a ladder and it gets more intense - target emotion, personality, sexuality
4. sexual frames - still need practice to inject it smoothly into the conversation. The more comfortable and relaxed u r, the easier it is to spontaneously let a sexual comment pass through.
5. flirting - subtlety and implication, wit and chase frames (investment and sexual humour)
6. push-pull