Smith's journal

[Smith]

Feeling very low today when I went out in the morning. Didn't really feel like going out to meet girls but I knew I had to.
As soon as I walked out of the door, I asked myself the purpose of all this.
My state was low, and my voice high and nervous when I opened the first girl. She responded ok, but the interaction didn't go anywhere.

The next girl I opened looked annoyed after I preopened her. But after my opener, she smiled and said thanks, looked down shyly and walked away.
My state was still low. I think it's because I was expecting too much from the interaction so I was disappointed when it didn't the way I wanted to. NEED TO REMIND myself not have any expectations when opening girls. My voice still sounded nervous though, even though I wasn't feeling THAT nervous.

Alright, the third girl was actually pretty cute, and I'm still kicking myself for not being at top of my game. First of all, my voice was still high and nervous, even though I tried to lower it down. I still wasn't in a good sociable state, so the conversation was really just small talk. ARRRGH.
She stayed to talk and was actually pretty nervous! She was nervously playing with her folder. I was gonna call it out. "Hey u seem quite nervous" but decided against it, then she eject herself.
As we say goodbye, she gave me a weird look that I've seen before....It's the look girls give u when u've just disappointed her, like "Is that it? what the hell was that?" . lol sorry girl..

The forth girl I opened was pretty bad as well. Failed to preopen, voice too high and u can guess the rest.

Then I saw this cute blonde sitting by herself eating lunch. Didn't open her. I was feeling down, even though I knew I shouldn't be feeling like this.

I sit down somewhere trying to gather myself. Meditate for a bit.

Then saw this girl walking past. Opened her. I had to repeat myself with the opener, but she was hooked immediately lol. hmm guess that little hiccup didn't matter.
To be honest, after she took off her sunglasses, her face was alright.
My voice is now calm and low. finally. She suggested us to take a seat somewhere. lol am I being gamed?
Then she suggested us to take a walk.
The conversation was pretty good. I was having sexy thoughts at the back of my mind. Kinda weird cuz she's not really my type. number closed her.
She gave me her phone and told me to call my cellphone so we have each other's number.
Surprisingly, I didn't feel the emotional high that I usually feel after a good number close....
I texted her an icebreaker text an hour later and the texting went shit LOL
Me: "Hey glad to have met u cycling enthusiast =)" She told me she has to bike to uni and home everyday, and it usually takes ages.
Her: "I learned it one month ago...."
ummm....wtf.... I wasn't gonna reply, but thought why not. I don't really care about this one anyway.
Me: "lol really? no one taught u how to ride a bike when u were a kid?"
and no reply.....lol
wtf just happened haha!
Just searched her on fb, which I don't usually do, but turns out she's in a relationship... lol wut?

Had to go to class in the afternoon. Went to the supermarket afterwards to buy some groceries.
I have always been pretty nervous about opening girls in the supermarket, but thought to myself. what the hell. It's not like I haven't seen the worst reaction. So I situationally open this girl. Things were going pretty well I thought... until I made two mistakes 1) not exchanging names early on and 2) talked about something she didn't really care about. The conversation died down, and she excused herself.
However, I still didn't feel the emotional high that I usually get. Maybe this is a good thing. I don't wanna end up chasing state.
But after this interaction, I realized that hey that wasn't too hard. What the hell was I so nervous about. Hmmm good experience though. I was gonna search for more girls to open, but bumped into my friends.

I think yesterday and today gave me a good lesson. I NEEDED some bad reactions from the girls I opened. I was starting to take pride in myself for getting a pretty good reaction from girls I opened in the last couple of weeks, but yesterday and today reminded some of the worst reactions I've got in the early days and they really sting. My ego was crushed again haha.

Another lesson - meditate for a few minutes when u become nervous or just had a not so smooth interaction. It helps clear your mind and state. Most importantly, let go of the negativity.

Things to improve
1. fundamentals - voice - louder and slower from the beginning.
2. bantering/deep-diving (relating and don't jump topics too soon, ask few interesting questions, provide feedback - keep talking about her and drawing inferences about her in interesting ways)/ screening-qualifying (need to do it). Keep the conversation on her. Don't get hung up on topics.
3. cold reads - which has a ladder and it gets more intense - target emotion, personality, sexuality
4. sexual frames - still need practice to inject it smoothly into the conversation. The more comfortable and relaxed u r, the easier it is to spontaneously let a sexual comment pass through.
5. flirting - subtlety and implication, wit and chase frames (investment and sexual humour)
6. push-pull

 

[Smith]

edit:
I'm gonna write down what I could do better in each interaction from now on. Hopefully there's a pattern.
1st girl - fundamentals. didn't get past small talk before she had to walk the other way. Should've insist her to stay.

2nd girl - fundamentals (voice). Vibe wasn't good enough. Need to have no expectation.

3rd girl - Fundamentals (voice, eye contact, posture). Just realized she was looking down a lot. Should've move her in the beginning. Not being playful enough to reduce tension and make her comfortable. Didn't get past small talk and didn't connect on a good level.

4th girl - fundamentals (voice, eye contact). Preopen.

5th girl - Could've number close faster and should've move her myself lol not the other way round.

6th girl - fundamentals (posture). think I slouched a little. don't get hung up on topics. Keep talking about her.

gonna try moving girls early in the interaction from now on. So easy to forget to do this.

 

[Smith]

Went on a short coffee date yesterday. Couldn't pull because of our schedule. Texted her today
Me: "Hey really enjoyed hanging out with u yesterday =)"
Her: "Me too~ =)"
She's gonna go away for a ski trip during the weekend. Will invite her out again when she's back.

Went out today with the mindset of giving intentionally and told myself to stop being so selfish. This is about her as well.
I've also been practicing qigong meditation, which helps to calm me down as well.

It was very windy today. Invite the first girl on my way to library.
Got into a short conversation, but she doesn't seem interested.

2nd girl - spoke a little too fast in the beginning, but managed to calm myself
It turned out we both studied the same thing but in different year. Funny how I've never seen her around.
She wasn't interested. Fundamentals could've been better

3rd girl - I was on my way home from gym. It was dark. I was texting my friend and saw her walking past me and texting as well. Couldn't see her face clearly. I hesitated for a few seconds then turned around to catch up to her. She sure walked pretty fast. My heart was racing REALLY fast, which rarely happens to me. I jog up next to her and preopened her, to avoid scaring her.
Me: "Excuse me!"
She turned around.
Me: "I just saw you walk past and I had to come say hi."
I smiled and she smiled back. I was still trying to catch my breath.
She looked surprised.
Her: "oh hi!"
Me: "hi...I thought u were cute so I had to come over... u were walking pretty fast!"
She laughed, but took a step back.
I gathered myself.
Her: "yea u frightened me a little, cuz I heard someone running up. well hey nice to meet you!"
Me: "Haha sorry about that! Well Hi I'm smith"
I extend my hand and she shaked it. The distance between us is now closer.
She was really cute and seemed like my type of girl.
We built some rapport, and I asked for the number. I didn't propose a date first because I was afraid she'll say no. I've got dates from numbers that I didn't propose a date first, so I figured I'll give it a shot again. As I handed her my phone, she asked me if I have fb. I jokingly said na I don't really use it, it's pretty much a dead profile, and she laughed.
I looked at my phone. Instead of just entering her number, she had also tried to add herself into my phone book, but failed to do so, cuz my phone is pretty complicated, so she just ended up searching herself through my contact list lol. I'll take this as a good sign cuz girls usually just type their numbers in and leave it at that.
She pulled out her phone as if expecting me to text her, but I didn't.
I carried on the conversation for a bit, and just before I wanted to tell her I had to go, she told me she has to leave.

Things I should've done
- Forgot to move her!
- Should've told her I've to go before she told me she has to leave.
- Accidentally cut her off because I thought she was done talking lol I need to handle the tension next time.
- My posture changed during the conversation. Not good.

Texted her an hour and 20 min later. I was gonna text something witty but decided against it because it seemed tried-hard.
"Glad to have met you =) smith"
No reply. Hmmm definitely not a good sign. I thought that was a pretty good interaction. Damn. I really wanted this girl for some reason. My emotion is going crazy.
I can hear my rational voice telling me: Calm down bro! U only know her for 5-10 minutes! There'll be another one coming along soon.
Will text her again after one day.

This interaction was worth remembering because I almost decided to just walk home and call it a day. I was giving myself excuses like my hair was messy (which it was)..etc but I remembered that I need to stop being so selfish. Give to her unconditionally. This is another instances where if I had just walk away, I would miss a rather good experience and a really cute girl who's my type.
After writing this on here, I think I'll feel ok and even more confident even if she doesn't text back. I didn't expect anything from her anyway.
I also wanna work on my lifestyle now.


Things to improve
1. fundamentals - voice - louder and slower from the beginning.
2. bantering/deep-diving (relating and don't jump topics too soon, ask few interesting questions, provide feedback - keep talking about her and drawing inferences about her in interesting ways)/ screening-qualifying (need to do it). Keep the conversation on her. Don't get hung up on topics.
3. cold reads - which has a ladder and it gets more intense - target emotion, personality, sexuality
4. sexual frames - still need practice to inject it smoothly into the conversation. The more comfortable and relaxed u r, the easier it is to spontaneously let a sexual comment pass through.
5. flirting - subtlety and implication, wit and chase frames (investment and sexual humour)
6. push-pull

 

[Smith]

Yesterday was windy, but warm and sunny. Thought it was too windy to meet girls, but I'm always up to for some challenge. So went out and met some girls. I just felt good doing it. Trying to be more outcome independent and less needy. When I have these in mind, I generally get better response and not get upset when things don't go well

The weather today was still windy, but cold and rainy. Didn't go up to some girls on my way to the library because I thought the weather was too crap.
As soon as I entered the library. Two guys come up to me. Immediately, I can sense they want something. The guy's body language was bad - slouching, face too serious.
Not giving out a good vibe. I was in a pretty good mood, but as soon as they locked onto me. I noticed my facial expression changed.
His voice was quiet and hushed. It turned out they were church people trying to recruit students and asked if I had 5 minutes.
I said no and that I'm actually in a rush, which was true. But I had no smile on my face when I 'rejected' them. except in the end when I felt bad and flashed a smile.
The guy gave out a sound of defeat and looked down. The other older guy smiled at me and said no worries.
Fk....He reminded me of myself when I used to went out and trying to acquire something from the girl, i.e. outcome dependent.
So that's how it feels when people just wanna get something from you without offering any values in return or offering something but expecting you to return the favour (nice guy syndrome). It repels people away.

The weather was getting worst when I went to the gym. Saw this girl walking my way. It was raining, but I had my umbrella. She was walking head down with her hoodie on. I didn't even know if she's cute cuz her face is covered.
This was possibly the worst weather u could meet a girl. I hesitated for about 30 seconds after she walked past, but decided to screw it, and ran after her.
In my mind, I remembered what happened this morning and think to myself - don't be selfish. Give to her unconditionally. I was quite relaxed but excited.
Preopened her badly lol This was my opener haha.
Me: "Hey I saw you walk past... and I had to say hi..." Smile. The rain was pouring down.
Her: "oh Hi"
Me: "I don't know why... but I had to come say hi" - haha it sounded much better in my head, but probably should've state my intention given the weather.
Her: "Nice to meet you"
Me: "Hi I'm smith"
Her: "I'm X"
Her: "Actually...I have to go somewhere now"
I laughed and said goodbye.
Anyway, Glad I took action given the stormy weather.

I've also decided to take my workout seriously now. I haven't been eating as much as I should have.

Things to improve
1. fundamentals - voice - louder and slower from the beginning.
2. bantering/deep-diving (relating and don't jump topics too soon, ask few interesting questions, provide feedback - keep talking about her and drawing inferences about her in interesting ways)/ screening-qualifying (need to do it). Keep the conversation on her. Don't get hung up on topics.
3. cold reads - which has a ladder and it gets more intense - target emotion, personality, sexuality
4. sexual frames - still need practice to inject it smoothly into the conversation. The more comfortable and relaxed u r, the easier it is to spontaneously let a sexual comment pass through.
5. flirting - subtlety and implication, wit and chase frames (investment and sexual humour)
6. push-pull

 

[Smith]

Met four new girls. I went out with the mindset of giving and not caring about reactions, whether they're good or bad.

- First girl - Thought I opened well, but she was in a rush.
- Second girl - Voice could've been louder from the beginning so it doesn't get drowned by the noise of the traffic. Had a conversation with her. Exchanged numbers, but it wasn't smooth unfortunately. Could've use some push-pull.
Went back to class.
On my way to the gym. Saw this girl walking away. Thought about it. Was gonna just walk away then figured "why the hell not? I"ll just pay her a compliment".
- third girl - totally not in the mood to talk to strangers lol.
I caught up to the and was walking next to her. Out of my peripheral vision, I saw her looking at me. Thought I could skip preopen in this case, but it was a bad decision LOL
Me: "Excuse me"
She caught me looking at her.
Me: "I just saw you walk past"
She cut me off
Her: "and? so what?" giving me a wild gesture.
I was a bit put off by this.
Me: "Thought your cute" I mumbled.
Her: "thought I'm what?"
Me: "I thought ur cute" I smiled
Her: "haha no I'm not cute"
ummm...what?
the she walked away. I decided to push for this.
Me: "Yooo where are you going?? come back!" I yelled with a cheeky smile
She stopped and turned around.
Me: "I just wanna say hi! I'm smith"
Her: "Are you really??"
I sensed a bit of sarcasm.
Me: "yea!"
Her: "[she mumbled some shit I couldn't understand]...criminal"
that's the only word I heard LOL
Me: "hahaha WHAT?!"
I turned around and walked back to the gym.

4th girl - Didn't preopen. Voice a bit quiet. Complimented her, but she seemed to be not in the mood or something. She put her earphones back on without saying a word or a smile.

Things to improve
1. fundamentals - voice - louder and slower from the beginning.
2. bantering/deep-diving (relating and don't jump topics too soon, ask few interesting questions, provide feedback - keep talking about her and drawing inferences about her in interesting ways)/ screening-qualifying (need to do it). Keep the conversation on her. Don't get hung up on topics.
3. cold reads - which has a ladder and it gets more intense - target emotion, personality, sexuality
4. sexual frames - still need practice to inject it smoothly into the conversation. The more comfortable and relaxed u r, the easier it is to spontaneously let a sexual comment pass through. commanding tonality, introducing sexuality in the forms of push-pull or hypothetical scenarios (what if/have u ever)
5. flirting - subtlety and implication, wit and chase frames (investment and sexual humour)
6. push-pull

 

[Smith]

Getting busier and busier.

Met only one girl today and exchanged number. No reply to ice breaker text.
I'm a lot more flexible with how I open now. This one I just yell from the behind and didn't make eye contact until I walk up next to her (preopening).
She responded well.
I asked for the number too sudden I think. Her english wasn't fluent so it was hard to get her talking.
I hold onto her hand slightly longer than usual, and it created a bit of sexual tension.

I'm thinking about setting myself a goal to at least compliment/meet one new girl everyday, but I'm already kinda doing it anyway. Setting a lower goal would just slow my progress.
So my goal - compliment/meet 3 new girls everyday. They don't even have to be really cute. I can just talk to them and practice my conversation skills.
Only exception to this - Days when I'm super busy, especially Thurs. Otherwise, no excuse. Not even in a stormy weather =p Well unless there's no one on the street.


Things to improve
1. fundamentals - voice - louder and slower from the beginning.
2. bantering/deep-diving (relating and don't jump topics too soon, ask few interesting questions, provide feedback - keep talking about her and drawing inferences about her in interesting ways)/ screening-qualifying (need to do it). Keep the conversation on her. Don't get hung up on topics.
3. cold reads - which has a ladder and it gets more intense - target emotion, personality, sexuality
4. sexual frames - still need practice to inject it smoothly into the conversation. The more comfortable and relaxed u r, the easier it is to spontaneously let a sexual comment pass through. commanding tonality, introducing sexuality in the forms of push-pull or hypothetical scenarios (what if/have u ever)
5. flirting - subtlety and implication, wit and chase frames (investment and sexual humour)
6. push-pull

 

[Smith]

Art gallery girl

I had an appointment during lunch time today, but it took longer than usual, so I looked at my watch and thought "well shit, I'm not gonna make it back to class"
Texted my friend if I could borrow his notes later, and now I have some time to kill.
I'm at the central part of the town. I rarely come here because the foot traffic is not that great to be honest.

I'm still trying to throw out the 'hotness'/1-10 scale in my mind after reading chase's article on that. Sometimes, my initial reaction to a girl is 'hot'. It will take a bit of time to mentally change this.
Complimented a girl - She was warm and receptive, but I didn't stay to engage her. Kinda wished I had.

Saw a girl with bright orange skirt walking into an art gallery. Thought to myself. "Yes! finally! I always wanna meet a girl at an art gallery!"
Followed her inside. Saw her turning left into a corridor. Slowly walked towards there.
She was at the end of the corridor.
I slowly walked past her. Pretending to check out some of the paintings. She saw me.
I turned around, pretended that I just noticed her.
Me: "Excuse me"
She turned around and smiled.
I can't remember what I said to open her. The opener doesn't really matter.
Me: "you have a lovely style"
then we exchanged names and I hold onto her hand for a bit longer when we were shaking hands. I think I was caressing her hand as well. Then I let go.
We talked for a bit. Then she looked around. seemed to caught someone looking at us talking a bit loud.
Her: "Hey let's talk outside."
this is the second time I've been moved by girls.
As we walked out into the reception area.
Her: "Hey do you wanna grab coffee?"
I paused.
Me: "oh actually I have a class at 2, but we can exchange numbers"
Her: "Yea sure. Give me your number and I'll call u"
She handed me her phone. I entered my number. I thought about calling myself, but I wanna see if she'll do it herself. And she did
Her: "okay. I'll call u now"
Me: "yup. Got ur number"
Then we walked outside and was waiting to cross the road.
I remembered a ghost walk tour that I always wannna do.
Me: "Hey there's this ghost walk tour around here that sounds like a lot of fun"
Her: "oh really?!"
she looked excited
Me: "yea wanna come?"
Her: "yea!"
Me: "Yea ok I'll text u the details"
Her: "When is it?"
Me: "umm just any weekday nights I think"
I made a mistake here. I shud've asked what her schedule's like right there, and set up a time.
Her: "okay! Keep in touch!"
Then on that high note, we part ways

An hour later. Texted her
Me: "Hey glad to have met u wine lover =)"
Her: "haha, good to meet someone who love arts too"

Things could've done better here
1. move her - I didn't know she was interested until she asked if we wanna move somewhere. Assume attraction!
2. Should've scheduled a date with her right there.
3. Not enough physical touch. Besides the initial handshake, I didn't touch her at all.

complimented another girl on my way home, but she wasn't cute when she turned around, and my voice wasn't assertive enough.

1. fundamentals - voice - louder and slower from the beginning.
2. bantering/deep-diving (relating and don't jump topics too soon, ask few interesting questions, provide feedback - keep talking about her and drawing inferences about her in interesting ways)/ screening-qualifying (need to do it). Keep the conversation on her. Don't get hung up on topics.
3. cold reads - which has a ladder and it gets more intense - target emotion, personality, sexuality
4. sexual frames - still need practice to inject it smoothly into the conversation. The more comfortable and relaxed u r, the easier it is to spontaneously let a sexual comment pass through. commanding tonality, introducing sexuality in the forms of push-pull or hypothetical scenarios (what if/have u ever). Physically. Eye contact.
5. flirting - subtlety and implication, wit and chase frames (investment and sexual humour)
6. push-pull

 

[Smith]

Hair's getting too long now. Tried to make an appmt for a haircut this weekend, but the stylist is fully booked, so have to wait till the next weekend.

Today was a full-on day for me. Texted the art gallery girl from yesterday. Usually I wait for a day, but I figure she seemed excited to meet me.
Texted her during my lunch break. I googled the ghost walk tour thing last night, and it turns out u have to book it in advance. I also checked the weather as well - fk it's gonna be real cold on Fri. I have doubts about the ghost walk tour in a freezing/ possibly rainy night.
So I had a choice - asking her out for a drink or ask her out for the ghost walk tour on Fri night.
The ghost walk tour seems better for a 2nd date.

Me: "Hey XX, hope ur day's going well and artsy! was thinking we should grab a drink to battle the cold! What's your schedule like?"
25 mins later
Her: "Thanks for investing, I'd love to but I will have test tmr...maybe next time?"
almost 3 hours later, because I was busy.
It's after reading this text, I realize how crap her eng actually is lol investing? or inviting?
Maybe she misunderstood what I mean by "what's your schedule like?" lol Should've been more specific, like what's your schedule like "this weekend"?
Me: "Yea sure let me know when ur free! good luck for ur test =)"
6 mins later....unexpectedly got a text from her
Her: "Thx! Catch u l8r =)"

So was this an attempt to brush me off?
or was it a genuine excuse?
Anyway! will prob try again in 3 days after the weekend.
Might propose the ghost walk tour this time.

Texted two other numbers that I got a few days ago but I forgot....ooops lol
No reply from both.

Was extremely tired after 5pm and went to the supermarket to do grocery shopping. Saw this really cute blonde, but figured I looked like shit and didn't talk to her.
and now my internal voice is telling me: "damn why were u so selfish? At least give her a compliment!"
The supermarket has never been one of my comfortable places to meet girls, even though I have no bad experience with it....hmm how ironic.

 

[PrettyDecent]

Howdy Smith!

Me: "Hey XX, hope ur day's going well and artsy! was thinking we should grab a drink to battle the cold! What's your schedule like?"

At the end of your first interaction with a girl, are you asking for her number? Or are you asking her out for coffee then asking her number? If not, I'd switch to the latter - you're grabbing her number for the sole purpose of meeting with her later, and she knows this. But, hey, you could be doing this already.

Anyways, my text is always "Hey XX! Thinking we ought to grab those drinks this weekend. How's your sched lookin?". Works well.

Might propose the ghost walk tour this time.

Any reason why you're choosing this and not a bar near your place?

Anyways, keep rockin', my friend. I'll be reading your journal and see how you progress

~Nick

 

[Smith]

Thanks for reading Nick!

The grinding phase is hard indeed!

At the end of your first interaction with a girl, are you asking for her number? Or are you asking her out for coffee then asking her number? If not, I'd switch to the latter - you're grabbing her number for the sole purpose of meeting with her later, and she knows this. But, hey, you could be doing this already.

Most of the time I do the latter one. even though the first one got me some dates as well haha

But for this girl, since she asked me to have coffee with her (insta-date) and I couldn't, so I suggested we exchange number and meet up another time.

Any reason why you're choosing this and not a bar near your place?

I forgot to add here. Yesterday before we part ways, I invited her to go on a ghost walk tour with me, because it seemed like a good idea in my head at that time lol anyway she looked excited and said yes. I said I'll text her about it.

But today, I was having an internal struggle and changed my mind lol so I asked her out for a drink instead.

since I already ask her out for a drink the first time, I figured I'll choose the ghost tour the second time because that's what we agreed on. But still deciding....the ghost walk tour is about 20-30 min walk from my place.

I'm not sure how to ask her out for a drink again though. ...any ideas how I can ask her smoothly?

 

[Smith]

Went out yesterday afternoon even though I didn't feel like it. Met 2 girls.
The first one's body language was close, and I thought it wasn't gonna go well, but she smiled and was warm. However, the conversation got staled. I didn't pause enough to let her talk.
The second girl was warm and receptive, but something happened that shift her state - it's either because her guy friend was walking past that broke our circle...or it was when she told me she study for fun (like seriously), I kept hanging onto that topic even though she wasn't interested.

Then went to a friend's birthday party last night. I basically don't know more than 3/4 of the people there, but pushed myself to go out and socialize. It was fun.

Today, I tried to be as present as possible.
Heard something interesting the other day - "you can not feel fear when you're in the present"
On my way to gym - this girl walked past me. I turned around and caught up to her.
My voice was calm, loud and slow. (thanks to the meditation I did in the morning)
She was warm and receptive.
I tried to move her immediately because we were standing in the middle of the street.
Me: "hey lets move over here before we get run over by a car"
Her: "oh sorry I have a bf! But thanks! that was really nice. What's your name?"
I paused and smiled at her
Me: "why?"
Her: "yea it doesn't matter"


1. fundamentals - voice - louder and slower from the beginning.
2. bantering/deep-diving (relating and don't jump topics too soon, ask few interesting questions, provide feedback - keep talking about her and drawing inferences about her in interesting ways)/ screening-qualifying (need to do it). Keep the conversation on her. Don't get hung up on topics.
3. cold reads - which has a ladder and it gets more intense - target emotion, personality, sexuality
4. sexual frames -set sexual frames - 1. set frames through stories 2. set the frame by complimenting them so they'll feel like they want to live up to it. 3. qualify her on the frame you want her in 4. cold read the frame. The more comfortable and relaxed u r, the easier it is to spontaneously let a sexual comment pass through. commanding tonality, introducing sexuality in the forms of push-pull or hypothetical scenarios (what if/have u ever). Physically. Eye contact.
5. flirting - subtlety and implication, wit and chase frames (investment and sexual humour)
6. push-pull

 

[Smith]

Managed to set up a date with the art gallery girl. She was being 'sarcastic' when I teased her. Call it a 'shit test' if u want lol but I think I handled it well. She was reluctant to get a drink at night and insist on something during the day. Since I'm too busy during the day, she suggested to meet up next weekend.
Me: "Hey Xx! Played my first poker game last night! How was your weekend?"
Her: "wow, first? Pretty good, spent the most time with my pillow"
Me: "so u carried ur pillow every where u go? thats kinda weird haha"
Her: "oh good idea, how can i get smarter just like u?"
lol this text was very sarcastic and it put me off. I almost decided not to reply.
Me: "oh u know... just play a little bit of poker "
Her: "haha, looks like I can never get smart"
Me: "haha a little wine helps too! so ur good. shall we grab a coffee or a drink this week?
Her: "sounds good, r u free on Friday?"
Me: "yea hows fri 7.30?"
Her: "pm?"
me: "haha yea"
Her: "ummm... can we catch up earlier? I don't like drink coffee after 5...how about Tues after 3 or Wed morning before 1?"
Me: "I have classes on those days. Hmmm how about we grab some wine, since I don't drink it often. Lets try something new together =)"
Her: "wow, I"ll be crazy after drunk, haha. maybe we can meet on weekend?"
At this point, I thought she agreed to getting some wine.
Me: "haha surprise me! shall we say sat 7.30pm?"
Her: "thats quite late...or do u want have some morning tea on weekend?"
Me: "i don't like wine for morning tea though =p Sat 3pm?
Her: "sounds good"
Me: "cool =)"
Her: " so see you on sat and good night"

I was hoping to meet up with her earlier, but this is the best we could do.

1. fundamentals - voice - louder and slower from the beginning.
2. bantering (use humours that relate to her and put her at ease) /deep-diving (relating and don't jump topics too soon, ask few interesting questions, provide feedback - keep talking about her and drawing inferences about her in interesting ways)/ screening-qualifying (need to do it). Keep the conversation on her. Don't get hung up on topics.
3. cold reads - which has a ladder and it gets more intense - target emotion, personality, sexuality
4. sexual frames -set sexual frames - 1. set frames through stories 2. set the frame by complimenting them so they'll feel like they want to live up to it. 3. qualify her on the frame you want her in 4. cold read the frame. 5. The frames that make her look like a sexual creature. 6. The frames that make you sound sexually interested in her. 7. The frames that make her look like she wants to fuck you. The more comfortable and relaxed u r, the easier it is to spontaneously let a sexual comment pass through. commanding tonality, introducing sexuality in the forms of push-pull or hypothetical scenarios (what if/have u ever). Physically. Eye contact.
5. flirting - subtlety and implication, wit and chase frames (investment and sexual humour)
6. push-pull

 

[Smith]

Bus stop girl

Didn't even leave my house yesterday, but did an hour of meditation, which was great. I decided to meet some girls today.
My heart was racing when I'm about to go up to the first girl, but I've accepted this feeling - Just don't label it anything.
My mind was making up excuses that this girl doesn't look like she'll be warm, but used the meditation technique to bring myself to present.
She was actually warm and receptive. (haha fk u ego!)
But she seemed to be in a rush to a doctor's appointment. She was feeling very sick.

Second girl was a girl sitting alone looking busy.
Didn't plan what I was gonna say.
I smiled too much and didn't use preopen.
She told me "I'm not interested". lol

Then as I turned around, I saw this girl walking towards a bus stop.
Casually walked past her. Pretend I was looking at something else, but trying to use my peripherals to check out her face.
Then I turned around and walked slowly up to her.
Just before we made eye contact. A voice in me went " ohh go indirect direct"
So I did that and she responded well. First time using it. It seemed to be a less pressure type of opener.
I was slowing down my speech and voice. Just relaxed vibe. I managed to be intriguing about my responses and she started to ask me questions.
It turned out she's from the same city as me.
I almost forgot she's waiting for a bus until she looked out into the distance.
As I saw her bus coming
Me: "Hey what's your number"
Her: "yup"
I pulled out my phone. Trying to unlock it, but failed. Time's not on my side lol so I did something bold.
Me: "alright just tell me your number quickly"
Her: "123123124213"
Then she got on the bus.
I entered the number into my phone hoping my memory doesn't fail me.
As the bus drove away, she smiled and waved at me. I smiled and waved back.

40 mins later.
I texted her. I was a little paranoid, so I texted 4 other arrangement of the number lol
Me: "hey hope my memory was working well! glad to have met you! =) Smith"
40 mins later. Oh my memory was working well indeed.
Her: "Hey didn't get your name earlier but it was nice to meet you too Smith =)"
I forgot her name because it was complicated so I just saved her as bus stop girl lol.

The fourth girl thanked me warmly after I complimented her, and she walked away. failed to preopen this one. My voice wasn't loud enough and she was wearing earphones when I complimented her lol. Didn't have her attention in the first place.

Fk I've gotten this far now. I can't give up. Have to keep pushing my comfort zone.

I think my sticking point now is injecting sexuality. I'm gonna practice it with everyone (well buddies and girls) I talk to.
"two things you should work on are 1) getting conversation to flow naturally and then inject sexuality in there, and 2) getting the girl to open up about herself to build comfort. " - Richard I think

1. fundamentals - voice - louder and slower from the beginning.
2. bantering (use humours that relate to her and put her at ease)
/deep-diving (relating and don't jump topics too soon, ask few interesting questions - don't collect facts from her, provide feedback - keep talking about her and drawing inferences about her in interesting ways) Keep the conversation on her. Don't get hung up on topics.
/ screening-qualifying (need to do it).
3. cold reads - which has a ladder and it gets more intense - target emotion, personality, sexuality
4. sexual frames -set sexual frames -
i. set frames through stories
ii. set the frame by complimenting them so they'll feel like they want to live up to it.
iii. qualify her on the frame you want her in
iv. cold read the frame.
v. The frames that make her look like a sexual creature.
vi. The frames that make you sound sexually interested in her.
vii. The frames that make her look like she wants to fuck you. The more comfortable and relaxed u r, the easier it is to spontaneously let a sexual comment pass through. commanding tonality, introducing sexuality in the forms of push-pull or hypothetical scenarios (what if/have u ever). Physically. Eye contact.
5. flirting - subtlety and implication, wit and chase frames (investment and sexual humour)
6. push-pull

 

[Smith]

The weather was bloody cold after I finished classes at 5pm. Must be around 6 degrees Celsius. Wasn't planning to meet new girls, but I felt like I had to.
On my way home, a cute girl who was walking with a guy walked past me. She smiled and waved at me. I couldn't recognize her so I smiled and waved back. lol.
She was pretty cute...why didn't I remember her.

I hate to admit this, but I missed a couple of opportunities before I finally pushed myself to talk to girls. But oh well, gotta forgive myself for having willpower failure. It's just part of the process. =)

Because the weather was so cold, most people have a frown on their face. First girl I opened, I just complimented her as a warm up.

I focused on my walk and my body language, which seem to be consistently getting better these days.

Second girl was a bit weird. I was walking behind her and about to talk to her. She started walking in a weird pattern and slowed down and walked directly behind me.
I tried to use my peripheral vision to check her face but it didn't work. Her ass was great though.
I slowed down, so she'll walk past me then I open her. Didn't really think about what I was gonna say, so it came out quite genuine.
I think she was kinda surprised (in a nice way) and didn't know what to say. Bet this has never happened to her before.
Her face was ok. We didn't talk long before we had to go our separate way.
u know that feeling u get when u feel like someone's looking at u then u turn around and catch them looking at u. Yea I caught her turning her head around looking at me twice when I walked away lol
The cold is freezing up my body, especially my mouth. This made me talk slow, which was good haha.

The third girl looked and was a bit older than me. My tonality and speech was slow and good. (thanks to the cold) I teased her for a bit and the conversation was good before we went our separate ways. Wished I had walked a little bit longer with her to exchange her number. Had a feeling that she was just about to open up to me.
She said something to me before I left, but I couldn't hear her. I'll assume it's something nice

1. fundamentals - voice - louder and slower from the beginning.
2. bantering (use humours that relate to her and put her at ease)
/deep-diving (relating and don't jump topics too soon, ask few interesting questions - don't collect facts from her, provide feedback - keep talking about her and drawing inferences about her in interesting ways) Keep the conversation on her. Don't get hung up on topics.
/ screening-qualifying (need to do it).
3. cold reads - which has a ladder and it gets more intense - target emotion, personality, sexuality
4. sexual frames -set sexual frames -
i. set frames through stories
ii. set the frame by complimenting them so they'll feel like they want to live up to it.
iii. qualify her on the frame you want her in
iv. cold read the frame.
v. The frames that make her look like a sexual creature.
vi. The frames that make you sound sexually interested in her.
vii. The frames that make her look like she wants to fuck you. The more comfortable and relaxed u r, the easier it is to spontaneously let a sexual comment pass through. commanding tonality, introducing sexuality in the forms of push-pull or hypothetical scenarios (what if/have u ever). Physically. Eye contact.
5. flirting - subtlety and implication, wit and chase frames (investment and sexual humour)
6. push-pull

 

[Smith]

The weather was super windy and cold today. Was gonna use that as my excuse to not talk to girls on the street, but pushed myself out.
First girl was a warm up.

Second girl was a bit old and engaged. but she kept asking me questions to keep the conversation going.

Third girl - My opener wasn't great, but stayed calm and started a conversation. She was going to the printing shop, which wasn't that far away. As we arrived there, she went to the counter and told the lady what she wanted to print. After 5 minutes, she came back and re-engaged me.
We sit on a couch nearby, talked a little bit more. She was smiling a lot then we exchanged numbers on a high point. As we exchanged numbers, I proposed a coffee date and she hesitated for a split second but agreed.

Texting wasn't the best. I'm not used to having a text conversation with a girl if the girl initiated it. In the past, I've done a great job of getting a girl hooked during texting but it's too much work. I would honestly rather be doing something else.
Me: "Hey glad to have met you =) Smith"
3 hours later
Her: "Me too. How's your day? =)"
2 hours later
I thought about just going aloof on the next text, but I felt I need to be warmer then I can set up a date. I'm not sure where my attainability is at right now, but instinct told me that I shld raise it a bit and be warm.
Me: "It's great! Just finished gym. Def need a hot shower now haha how abt u?"
15 mins later
Her: "That's good. I'm having dinner with a friend. then going to a party"
I saw this 40 mins later. It's around 9.10pm now. Then I remembered there's a big party at 10pm, so she must be going to that one.
My instinct told me to not reply, since setting up a date when she's about to go to a party is impossible.... But fk it. I'll try something this time, and if it doesn't work, I won't do it next time.
Me: "Ohh what kinda party? "
No reply for a while so I knew she must be at the party.
11.10pm Her:" XX party"
Lame answer. This is when I knew I fked up. LOL.
It's not a major mistake, but it made me seem like I'm chasing a little bit.
I had it coming haha. I was prepared for any consequences.
Next time, I'll shorten the conversation on my term if setting up a date doesn't seem likely. AND choose my texting time wisely. Fri and sat night are def no good for most people.
and follow your instinct next time
will ask her out after 1-2days.

1. fundamentals - voice - louder and slower from the beginning.
2. bantering (use humours that relate to her and put her at ease)
/deep-diving (relating and don't jump topics too soon, ask few interesting questions - don't collect facts from her, provide feedback - keep talking about her and drawing inferences about her in interesting ways) Keep the conversation on her. Don't get hung up on topics.
/ screening-qualifying (need to do it).
3. cold reads - which has a ladder and it gets more intense - target emotion, personality, sexuality
4. sexual frames -set sexual frames -
i. set frames through stories
ii. set the frame by complimenting them so they'll feel like they want to live up to it.
iii. qualify her on the frame you want her in
iv. cold read the frame.
v. The frames that make her look like a sexual creature.
vi. The frames that make you sound sexually interested in her.
vii. The frames that make her look like she wants to fuck you. The more comfortable and relaxed u r, the easier it is to spontaneously let a sexual comment pass through. commanding tonality, introducing sexuality in the forms of push-pull or hypothetical scenarios (what if/have u ever). Physically. Eye contact.
5. flirting - subtlety and implication, wit and chase frames (investment and sexual humour)
6. push-pull

 

[Smith]

FR++: art gallery girl

The FR starts a bit later. I went to the hair salon today to get a haircut before my date with the art gallery girl.
At the hair salon, there's a cute girl sitting next to me getting her hair done as well. My hair was a mess and it looked ugly during the haircut. I was a bit embarrassed.
After I got my hair cut, the girl is still getting her hair done.
I decided to wait outside - It was a painful wait. My gut instinct told me to wait because I don't wanna go away wondering what could happen. But then as each minute passed by, my logical brain is telling me to go meet someone else.
45 mins later, she finally walked out.
Caught up to her.
Me: "Hey I think we were both at the hair salon.."
She looked surpriesd
Her: "oh yea!"
then a bunch of people walked past. I got self-conscious so my voice got quiet.
Me: "and thought you look cute"
Her: "what?"
we both leaned in
Me: "I thought u were cute so I wanna say hi"
Her: "oh haha no..."
but she was smiling and happy, so I decided to push on
We exchanged names and shaked hands, and I hold onto her hand a little longer than usual. We chat a little. I think I didn't relate enough before I asked for her number.
She told me she doesn't have a local number. I asked her how do we stay in touch.
She changed the topic after a pause. I sensed she wasn't interested, so exited the conversation.
That was worth waiting ( no sarcasm) because it's better than wondering about what cud have happened right?

I went home to have lunch and was a bit late for my date.
She was already waiting outside starbucks. Right there I've decided to initiate some touch from the beginning to set the tone right.
So I touched her on the arm as we say hi. She asked me if we cud go somewhere outside to have coffee.
I told her 'yea sure'. Now I know some of u r gonna think that means she's leading, but the starbucks looked quite full.
so we went to a cafe close to the city center and sit outside enjoying the sun shine.
When we were walking, she wasn't talking much and not giving me much to work with in a conversation. But I was comfortable in that silence.
As we look for a place to sit, she pointed towards a table, I said "na the other one".
she complied and we sit down.
We started chatting. I tried to relate to her as much as possible and use self-deprecating humour when I'm relating. It seemed to work well. She was laughing and started to open up.
Her: "this coffee tastes bad"
Me: "yea"
I paused
Me: "well you know what they say right?"
Her: "what?"
Me:" It's who u drink it with that matters "
Her: "haha yea"

we finished our coffee in 30 mins. Instead of just sitting there keep chatting like what I usually do, I decided to move us around.
Me: "let's go for a walk"
Her: "yea"
We didn't walk straight back to my place.
I kinda circled around to some quiet peaceful places, hoping I cud pull there.
At first, we went to this train station nearby that's quiet and beautiful and found a small little art gallery that hidden in there.
We didn't talk much, since she doesn't really talk a lot and like to avoid some of my questions. So I kept the conversation light and playful.
And just kept checking my fundamentals and walk comfortably in the silence.
After the train station, I decided to move us to a park nearby, but she thought we were going to another park that's even CLOSER to my place. LOL.
Her: "I thought we were going to that park on XX street" (which was only 3 min walk from my place)
damn, that's actually a good idea. But it's too late to backpedal now. I don't wanna seem like a shit leader.
Me: "Na let's go to this one because the view is beautfiul"
so we went there. I hold her hand. Her hand was loosely hanging between my fingers.
During our walk, I brought up sexual topics twice, which seemed enough and she responded well.
Me: "so u were flatting last year?"
Her: "yea...but sometimes at night I hear weird noises"
Me: "u mean...people having sex? like weird sex noises?"
Her: "hahaha idk. Just some kinda noise"
Me: "yea that must be it. I was flatting last year and the walls were incredibly thin. I heard some noise from my friend's room I wish I could forget"
Her: "hahaha"
At the park, I teased her about having naughty secrets and that we shud exchange some.
After some reluctance, she told me I'm the first guy that has hold her hand like that in a year.
I teased her :" okay...so how many have u kissed?"
Her: "hahaha none...but I have a lot of guy friends. Okay what's your secret?"
don't know why she said that.
Me: "ur the 15th girl I've hold hands like this in a year"
Her: "haha...no seriously?"
Me: "right my secret....I went to sydney during the semester break...and I played around a lot"
Not sure if this is the right frame to set. have a feeling it's too playboy type. Gotta watch my attainability.
Her: "ohhh"
Me: "u know what? I think my secret is like a scale of 6 and yours is like a scale of 3"
Her: "haha no. No more secrets"

After our walk at the park, we started walking towards my place. She let go of her hand to adjust her hair and we're no longer holding hands.
she asked me where we were going, I just pointed forward and said there. lol. and she complied.
I tried to deep dive her about her previous relationship, but she tells me "oh it's long story"
Me: "haha that's like your favourite line isn't it? (then i mimic her) oh it's long story"
Her: "haha yea"
Me: "your life is like a book"
Her: "haha"
Me: "so what should we call this chapter right now?"
Her" haha hmmm"
Me: "the art gallery?"
Her: " haha yea"
As we walk there, not much conversation was going so I just keep everything light and playful and occasionally deep dive.
Then she started to tell me her dream of going to Dubai and not wanting to settle in one place.
I rewarded by holding her hand and pulling us closer together as we walk.
As we get closer to my place. She asked again, where are we going?
I just pointed forward and said "there". she just said ok. lol
right in front of my place, I told her that I do shooting sometime and asked if she wanted to see my target paper. (which in reality is just one boring paper lol)
then we just naturally walked into my place and I kept the conversation going and talking profusely.
I took off my shoes and she followed me.
She walked towards the window. My room has a great view. I walked up next to her and hold her by the waist.
We talked about the view. I started to slow down my speech and lower my tone.
Me: "I'm in love....with guitar instrumental these days."
Her: "what's that?"
Me: "u know... just guitar but no one singing....would u like to hear?"
Her: "yea =)"
I put on the music.
There were a lot of tension in the room.
I pulled her in closer. Our body touching.
My arms were around her waist, but her arms were just hanging on her sides. Not holding me back.
I kept up the sexual tension, with strong eye contact and lots of pauses.
Her body was against the window.
I deep dive her more, and my eyes shifting between her eyes and her lip.
She saw this and started smiling and looked to the side.
Her: "how many girls have u brought home?"
Me: "you're number 57" with a cheeky smile
She laughs
Me: " fine two and a half"
Her: "haha what's a half?"
I just looked at her with my sexual intent.
Her: "I've never come back to guy's place this fast"
Me: "liar...u've so many guy friends"
Her: "yea...but we're just really close and I tell them about my personal issues"
I felt sorry for those guys already....
Me: "and I bet they tell u about their issues as well"
Her: "yea"
Me: "so u probably know a lot about guys"
Her: "haha yea"
So there were a lot of silences.
At one point, she started putting her arms around me. I deep dive her more.
Everytime I move closer, her head would lower, so I manhandle kissed her. Just light kiss on the lips. No tongue yet.
Her: "liar.."
Me: "hmm?"
Her: "how many girls have u brought home?"
Me: "haha...fine three and a half?"
Her: "haha now it's three and half?"
I paused
Me: "You're interesting"
Her: "why is that?'
I paused again...because I forgot the lines LOL. but it build up the right effect.
Me: "It seems like there's more you're afraid to show...but u shouldn't be"
She smiled then we hold each other there in silence.
Then we talked about something else. The topic doesn't seem to matter. My voice tone was conveying sexuality.
She kept telling me she have to go.
Her: "stop looking at me like that"
Me: "like what?"
Her: "like a hunter"
Me: "haha...only if u stop giving me those eyes"
Her: "haha"
we started making out again, and she started giving me tongue.
I lifted her up and dropped her on the bed.
We kissed more. She was panting.
Her: "no..."
She pushed me off.
she gave me a smile but still said 'no'.
She got up.
Her: "haha this is like the hundredth time...I really have to go"
Me: "stay for....30 more seconds haha"
Her: "haha no"
Me: "ok goodbye kiss"
we kissed again.
Me: "when shall I see u again?"
Her: "hmmm idk"
Me: "We shud do the ghost walk tour next week."
Her: "oh"
Me: "what's your schedule like?"
Her: "I don't know....Next week is a big week. Quite busy just before the holiday"
Me: "hmm ok....but I'm leaving though"
Her: "oh where?"
Her reaction was surprise and disappointment.
Me: "just going home"
Her: "for how long?"
Me: "a week"
Her: "haha just a week?"
me: "yea"
She was being evasive here when I proposed the next date. I don't wanna seem too needy here so I just let it go.
then she walked to the door.
I made a mistake here by going in for a kiss again. It felt like she wasn't giving it back this time. ARRH. too much pull, not enough push.
As she put on her shoes, I was giving her strong sexual eye contact.
Her: "stop looking at me like that"
Me: "hey it's ur fault. don't give me those look!"
Her: "haha what?"
Me: "it's VERY distracting"
Her: "haha"
we hold hands and walked downstairs.
At the door, I gave her a sexy smile.
Me: "see ya"
She was smiling and seemed happy.
Her: "see ya"

Throughout the whole date, I barely talked about myself, and only talked about myself when I'm relating to her. I don't think she knows what I'm even studying lol.
I felt I was pulling a little too much in the end.
But this is boosting my confidence. I must have seemed smooth for her to ask how many girls I've brought home. lol.
I think the whole date started to pick up when I started to hold her hand and getting physical.
OK. I'm starting to believe this shit now.

1. fundamentals - voice - louder and slower from the beginning.
2. bantering (use humours that relate to her and put her at ease)
/deep-diving (relating and don't jump topics too soon, ask few interesting questions - don't collect facts from her, provide feedback - keep talking about her and drawing inferences about her in interesting ways) Keep the conversation on her. Don't get hung up on topics.
/ screening-qualifying (need to do it).
3. cold reads - which has a ladder and it gets more intense - target emotion, personality, sexuality
4. sexual frames -set sexual frames -
i. set frames through stories
ii. set the frame by complimenting them so they'll feel like they want to live up to it.
iii. qualify her on the frame you want her in
iv. cold read the frame.
v. The frames that make her look like a sexual creature.
vi. The frames that make you sound sexually interested in her.
vii. The frames that make her look like she wants to fuck you. The more comfortable and relaxed u r, the easier it is to spontaneously let a sexual comment pass through. commanding tonality, introducing sexuality in the forms of push-pull or hypothetical scenarios (what if/have u ever). Physically. Eye contact.
5. flirting - subtlety and implication, wit and chase frames (investment and sexual humour)
6. push-pull

 

[Smith]

Yup. Lost the art gallery girl from yesterday. lol no surprise. Chase was right. Girls backward rationalize. A failed escalation is like a death sentence.
Her respond to my text was slow and cold. What a contrast to her texts with me earlier.
I chased a little bit over text and realized what a dumb move that was. No more texting her. Cutting her off completely. Man...letting go is hard, especially when u almost had it.

Anyway, on my way to the gym today, saw a cute girl walking past. I thought about not talking to her, but then decided that I needed to meet new girls.
So caught up to her. She was really cute - sexiest eyes.
She was flattered but not interested. Still glad I took action.

After gym, saw two just cute enough girls walking by on the other side of the street. Wasn't particularly attracted to either of them, but then I thought "what the hell. I've never open two girls. this will be fun"
The whole interaction was fun. Although it wud've been better if I had a wingman to occupy the other girl.
Me: "excuse me girls"
I walked from the side then go in front of them to stop them.
Me: "I just saw u guys walk past...and I thought one of u is cute"
Their english wasn't that good. so I had to repeat it again slowly. But once they got it, they started smiling.
Me: "but I'm afraid she might have a bf"
Both of them just smiled and didn't say anything.
I introduced myself and got both of their names.
One of them speaks better english than the other one, so she speaks the most.
Me: "so where are u guys from?"
Girl 1: "Japan...u? "
Me: "ahh I'm from a little country south of japan"
They look curious.
Girl 1: "haha idk"
Me: "Taiwan"
Girl1: "ahhh"
I mimic her reaction
Me: "ahhh... yes"
The both laughed.
Me: "so where about in japan are u guys from?"
Girl 2: "Tokyo"
Girl 1: "Osaka"
She looked at me quizzically.
Me: "haha yea I know where that is"
girl 1: "haha"
Me: "it's north of japan right?"
Girl 1: "haha nooo South of japan"
I looked to the side and smiled
me: "Damn"
Girls 2: "haha"
This banter continued for another couple of minutes. Then I asked if they have a local number since they're only staying for a few more months. They said they don't remember their number. I asked Girl 1 to take my number.
Girl 1 asked me "what's the point? we'll be leaving soon"
I shrugged.
Me: "just for some fun"
It doesn't seem like pushing any harder is gonna change anything. So we said goodbye.
But yea, that was a good interaction. Last time I opened 2 girls, it went horribly. lol.
Writing this makes me realize how fun it is. There's no point wasting any more time on the art gallery girl.
I think my brain is starting to pick up the pattern that nothing bad will ever happen from pushing your comfort zone. It's just our egos like to put labels on interactions that have no meaning.
Anyway, after reflecting on the whole process of the date with the art gallery girl. I've a clearer picture of what I need to do in the future. Felt like the whole puzzle is starting to fall into place =D

1. fundamentals - voice - louder and slower from the beginning.
2. bantering (use humours that relate to her and put her at ease)
/deep-diving (relating and don't jump topics too soon, ask few interesting questions - don't collect facts from her, provide feedback - keep talking about her and drawing inferences about her in interesting ways) Keep the conversation on her. Don't get hung up on topics.
/ screening-qualifying (need to do it).
3. cold reads - which has a ladder and it gets more intense - target emotion, personality, sexuality
4. sexual frames -set sexual frames -
i. set frames through stories
ii. set the frame by complimenting them so they'll feel like they want to live up to it.
iii. qualify her on the frame you want her in
iv. cold read the frame.
v. The frames that make her look like a sexual creature.
vi. The frames that make you sound sexually interested in her.
vii. The frames that make her look like she wants to fuck you. The more comfortable and relaxed u r, the easier it is to spontaneously let a sexual comment pass through. commanding tonality, introducing sexuality in the forms of push-pull or hypothetical scenarios (what if/have u ever). Physically. Eye contact.
5. flirting - subtlety and implication, wit and chase frames (investment and sexual humour)
6. push-pull

 

[Smith]

I was in the motherfking flow today.

I didn't sleep well last night. There was an hour break between classes. I thought about going home to take a nap, but then got dragged into a conversation with some friends, so I ended up going on the street to meet some girls.

First girl I talked to I hesitated, She was really cute, but I took a deep breath, clear my mind and opened her.
and well, well, well. Things were going great until I kinda self-sabotaged in the end, and the reason is cuz she told me she has a bf. It's against my principle to go for girls with bf, so that's why when we exchanged numbers, it wasn't smooth.
Me: "excuse me" good voice here actually.
She turned around and smiled
Me: "kinda random. But I saw u here and thought u were cute, so I wanna say hi"
Her: "Oh haha thanks!"
Her body language still not fully turned towards me
Her: "but I've a bf though"
I totally ignored this.
Me: "so what are u up to now?"
She turned her body fully towards me now.
Her eyes were super locked onto mine, and smiling a lot.
After deep diving a bit about her major.
Me: "so what do u do for fun around here?'
Her: "umm It's pretty lame haha baking, staying at home"
Me: "oh baking is not lame"
She started to invest more into the conversation. I forgot her name as well, so I asked her again.
She seemed really into this.
In my mind, I couldn't believe this is happening. Should I ditch my principle here?
I could've scheduled a date in the afternoon.
The only weak part about this interaction is the number exchange.
Me: "yea soo I know u have a bf but do u wanna exchange numbers?" (even writing this line is painful. and I wasn't making eye contact as well)
Her: "yea sure."
I pulled out my phone
Me: " u seem cool"
Her: "thanks =)"
Me: "we can be friends"(In my mind, I thought it wud actually be cool to have her as a friend, but I don't know if it was the right move)
Her:" yea...shud I type in my number or just say it?"
my phone was a bit slow. I handed her my phone.
Then I typed in her name
Her: "it's XX haha"
Me: "haha yes I remember"

After this interaction, I was in a bloody good state. Too bad she didn't reply my ice breaker text though haha.

The next girl was interesting as well. After I opened her, we were standing really close with strong eye contact. I was turned on by this, but she told me she has a bf.

then in the afternoon, I continued to be in a really good state. It's just fking on. This shit is fun.
3rd girl - sitting by herself listening to music.
Didn't really opened well - probably didn't smile. She wasn't really engaged in the conversation. Kept trying to put her earphones back on.

4th girl - library
This one pushed myself out of my comfort zone.
the girl was sitting in a crowded studying area, but there was a seat next to her.
My heart was racing fast. I typed my opener on my phone : "Hi, this is random. But I thought u were cute and i wanna say hi =)"
Then I sit down next to her. Got my stuff out. Pretend I need to study.
Then I preopened her. Showed her my phone. She started reading it. I slowly spread to a smile, and she started to smile as well.
But it was hard to engage in a conversation since everyone else around is studying quietly.
But glad I pushed myself to do it.

5th girl
she wasn't that cute (in fact not cute at all) when I opened her. I was still stuck in the previous quiet mode in the library lol so my voice was too quiet and hushed when i opened this girl. she didn't even say a word.

6th girl
She was really cute, and is exactly my type.
I had to go talk to her. No fear for this one.
I had strong eye contact and good voice and smile.
But she had a bf....
Me: "excuse me"
she turned around. Locked eyes. Intense eye contact and sexy smile
me: "i saw u walk past...and thought u were cute so I wanna say hi"
she smiled
Her: "oh thanks! but I have a bf!"
she put her palms together and did the apologizing motion. lol.
Her: "I'm sorry!"
Me: "hey no worries. U have a good day alright?"
Her: "yea. u too!"
Glad I took action to meet her. One year ago, I couldn't even dare to make a move.

I'm feeling a little worn out by now. Time to head home.

7th girl
I saw her walking into a store from a distance. Didn't even see her face lol but from her hair and body. I could tell she's cute.
So I waited outside.
She came out. I looked straight ahead and saw her face as she walked past me. I was right. she was cute.
Immediately opened her. But it was a bad position. I was standing behind her when I started talking, and she only turned her head around to see who's talking.
Me: "Hey excuse me"
Me: "I just saw u walk past, u have the most lovely sense of style I've seen all day. So I had to come say hi"
I didn't feel genuine saying this because I was just gonna say she's cute, but felt like using something different in the last second!
She started to smile and eyes opened wide.
I mimic her expression and waved 'hi'. She smiled even more.
Her: "I have to go"
Me: "hey come on!"
oh well. worth a shot.
Next time I shall at least walk up next to the girl.

1. fundamentals - voice - louder and slower from the beginning.
2. bantering (use humours that relate to her and put her at ease)
/deep-diving (relating and don't jump topics too soon, ask few interesting questions - don't collect facts from her, provide feedback - keep talking about her and drawing inferences about her in interesting ways) Keep the conversation on her. Don't get hung up on topics.
/ screening-qualifying (need to do it).
3. cold reads - which has a ladder and it gets more intense - target emotion, personality, sexuality
4. sexual frames -set sexual frames -
i. set frames through stories
ii. set the frame by complimenting them so they'll feel like they want to live up to it.
iii. qualify her on the frame you want her in
iv. cold read the frame.
v. The frames that make her look like a sexual creature.
vi. The frames that make you sound sexually interested in her.
vii. The frames that make her look like she wants to fuck you. The more comfortable and relaxed u r, the easier it is to spontaneously let a sexual comment pass through. commanding tonality, introducing sexuality in the forms of push-pull or hypothetical scenarios (what if/have u ever). Physically. Eye contact.
5. flirting - subtlety and implication, wit and chase frames (investment and sexual humour)
6. push-pull

 

[Smith]

Yesterday, 2 girls, one number. I had a lot of fun with the girl I exchanged numbers with. Probably too entertainer. But I didn't really care about that one.
It was the end of the day. I was tired, so just wanna have fun.
Then I called the art gallery girl as sorta my last try at getting her back in. She didn't picked up my first phone call. But 5 mins later, she texted me, then I called again.
I was warm and flirty and used chase framing a lot, and she was liking it. Guessed I was over-thinking about the situation before.
I'm going away for a week next week, so I asked her out and see if she wanna do something on Friday night.
She said her Fri is pretty busy and she finished at 4pm, but she just wanna relax afterwards. I asked her what her plans are for Fri and she said she doesn't know.
I tried to convince her, but after 3-5 mins of persisting, I laid-back and chilled.
She suggested Sat, but I'll be leaving on sat, so she suggested we meet up after I come back.
I think I did alright with the chase framing here.
Her: "so ur going away next week?"
Me: "yea"
Her: "hmm then lets meet the week after"
Me: "that's a bit too long....I'm not sure u can survive that long without me"
Her: "hahaha I can take care of myself. it's only like what? 10 days?"
Me: "I don't know...that's what they all said"
Her: "haha"
Then we talked on the phone for an hour - talked about sexual topic as well. She told me she kissed a girl before . I told her she shud invite me next time to watch and I promised I won't take out my phone to record it. She was laughing hard.
Then I joked about how I didn't know she's into girls as well. I'm starting to get a handle on the chase framing. It's fun!
although my chase framing doesn't seem to work well in texting - got no reply from some girls this week lol
I also read chase's article on how to be romantic - to be a lover of women, you can not be cynical. Cynicism is hard to get rid off. After the phone call, I can feel my ego keep trying to do some negative self-talk or being cynical about the chances of meeting up with her later, but I fought it off. I'm confident that she enjoyed our conversation on the phone and also our last date. Meanwhile, I'll meet more girls and not think about her.

Today, talked to a cute blonde. I used to be placing these types of girls on pedestal, but now it's like meh.
She was immediately warm and open, but she was the first girl I talked to that day, and my energy was feeling low, so my social momentum hasn't picked up yet.

Then on my way home from the gym, opened this cute brunette, who was listening to music.
She was walking really fast when I preopend her, so she turned her head around, looked at me then just as she was about to turn her head back and keep walking, I made eye contact with her, then she stopped. Her face was non-expressive at first - resting bitch face, but my vibe was slightly good and that brought a smile on her face.
What i found with girls listening to music is that, when you open them, they'll be more shocked because it's like u just snapped them out of their head.
So yea, I think she was too surprised and the pressure was too awkward for her that she exited the conversation. When she said "that's a bit odd". I shouldn't have agreed, but instead should've said "what's odd? a handsome stranger commenting on your charm?"

1. fundamentals - voice - louder and slower from the beginning.
2. bantering (use humours that relate to her and put her at ease)
/deep-diving (relating and don't jump topics too soon, ask few interesting questions - don't collect facts from her, provide feedback - keep talking about her and drawing inferences about her in interesting ways) Keep the conversation on her. Don't get hung up on topics.
/ screening-qualifying (need to do it).
3. cold reads - which has a ladder and it gets more intense - target emotion, personality, sexuality
4. sexual frames -set sexual frames -
i. set frames through stories
ii. set the frame by complimenting them so they'll feel like they want to live up to it.
iii. qualify her on the frame you want her in
iv. cold read the frame.
v. The frames that make her look like a sexual creature.
vi. The frames that make you sound sexually interested in her.
vii. The frames that make her look like she wants to fuck you. The more comfortable and relaxed u r, the easier it is to spontaneously let a sexual comment pass through. commanding tonality, introducing sexuality in the forms of push-pull or hypothetical scenarios (what if/have u ever). Physically. Eye contact.
5. flirting - subtlety and implication, wit and chase frames (investment and sexual humour)
6. push-pull

 

[Smith]

Going home tomorrow, so went out and meet some girls since the weather is incredibly nice today. Don't get that often here.
My energy was feeling low in the morning, but managed to push myself to start.
First girl - dancer
Wasn't in a social mood, so there were a lot of things I could've talked about with her to strengthen the interaction. Sigh.
When she mentioned she dances, I didn't deep dive enough or relate. Only just provide some feedback to her. It turned out she was going to my home town tonight, and asked me if there's anything good to do there.
I think my fundamentals was good. There was a pause in the conversation where I 'ran out of things to say'.
she filled in the pause and said "Hey so give me a text if u find something fun to do at [my home town]"
Me: "sure"
pulled out my phone and got her number.
I still need to work on my closing better.
Sent my icebreaker text an hour later, but she didn't reply.

Second girl - tall blonde
She told me she's flattered but she has a long-term bf. No worries

Third girl - Cousin of an old friend
Right after I opened her, she started smiling and walked away. I walked next to her and started a conversation. Keeping my voice calm as always, although spoke just a little too fast sometimes. My vibe was good and I think that carried the interaction.
Me: "Hey excuse me!"
she turned around
Me: "Hi" pause and smile
Her: "hi"
Me: "i was just walking past and thought ur cute.....so I wanna say hi"
she started smiling
Her: "hi"
then she started walking away
Me: "what's your name?"
Her: "XX"
Me: "I'm Smith"
Her: "Hi nice to meet you" still smiling.
Me: "u look very japanese....
she cut me off
Her: "haha I'm korean"
Me: "and slash korean haha"
Me: "What are u up to now?"
Her: "just going to class"
Me: "yea?"
I paused to see if she'll keep talking.
Me: "and what's that ur studying?"
Her: "Pharmacy."
Me: "3rd year or 4th year?"
Her: "haha 2nd year" (don't know why that was funny, but I played along)
Me: "oh really" I acted surprise.
Her: "yup how about u?"
Me: "I'm 3rd year"
Her: "what r u studying?
Me: "Dentistry" I point to the building behind us. "so we're basically brothers & sisters"
Her: "haha what are u doing now?"
Me: "heading to the library then going home"
Her: "oh ok"
Me: " so do u always wanna do pharmacy?"
Her: "haha I actually wanna do dentistry"
Me: "haha don't be jealous!"
Her: "but I'm taking pride in pharmacy now!" she smiled at me cheekily
Me: "and where did that pride come from?"
she mumbled some stuff I couldn't hear and I can't remember what I said in response.
Her: "Are u from XX?"
Me: "yes....are u stalking me?"
Her: "haha and do u go to XX high school?"
Me: "fk u are stalking me!"
Her: "haha noo I think ur friends with my cousin XX"
Me: "ohhh wow what a small world"
I don't remember seeing her at all lol and high school was like 4 years ago and she's younger than me.
Her: "yea u look very familiar"
lol I look so different back in high school. Pretty much a different person.
I made a mistake here by asking her about her cousin, when I could've flirted with her. gonna put what I shud've said in bracket.
Me: "so how's XX doing?" [u know...u look nothing like ur cousin! If he was that pretty, I wud've recognized u ]
30 seconds after. she had to go inside.
Me: "what's your number?"
She typed it in, and walked away.
Me: "alright. Let's hangout sometime"
Her: "OK"
She didn't reply to my icebreaker text. ARRGH.

4th girl - girl I approached 4 years ago with no fundamentals.
I thought she looked familiar, but opened her anyway.
Me: "Hey excuse me!"
She turned around, and I recognized her face . I know she has a bf because I have her fb.
Me: "oh XX?"
Her: "yea! ur...."
I just looked at her and smile.
Her: "Smith!"
Me: "haha yea"
Her: "It's been like what...almost 4 years!"
Skipped to the end
Me: "yea lets catch up sometime!"
Her: "Yea if u still have my number"
Me: "I think I lost ur number"
just as I'm about to pull out my phone
Her: "yea just message me on fb"
Me: "yea sounds good!"

I wanna work on my voice projection and be passionate when I speak. I think when I was on the phone with the art gallery girl, I was doing both and she responded with enthusiasm.

1. fundamentals - voice - projection, pace, pitch, be passionate(be dynamic and fluctuate so it doesn't mean u constantly shout or constantly talk in a low voice), pause
2. bantering (use humours that relate to her and put her at ease)
/deep-diving (relating and don't jump topics too soon, ask few interesting questions - don't collect facts from her, provide feedback - keep talking about her and drawing inferences about her in interesting ways) Keep the conversation on her. Don't get hung up on topics.
/ screening-qualifying (need to do it).
3. cold reads - which has a ladder and it gets more intense - target emotion, personality, sexuality
4. sexual frames -set sexual frames -
i. set frames through stories
ii. set the frame by complimenting them so they'll feel like they want to live up to it.
iii. qualify her on the frame you want her in
iv. cold read the frame.
v. The frames that make her look like a sexual creature.
vi. The frames that make you sound sexually interested in her.
vii. The frames that make her look like she wants to fuck you. The more comfortable and relaxed u r, the easier it is to spontaneously let a sexual comment pass through. commanding tonality, introducing sexuality in the forms of push-pull or hypothetical scenarios (what if/have u ever). Physically. Eye contact.
5. flirting - subtlety and implication, wit and chase frames (investment and sexual humour)
6. push-pull