Smith's journal

[Smith]

A girl yesterday - My hair was a mess, and I was wearing my gym cloth. Nonetheless, I needed to meet her. Wasn't relating enough I think.

A girl today - She was smiling after I opened her.
But her friend called her immediately, so I just walked with her for a bit.
Then she reengaged me after she hung up.
She asked me where I was going.
I told her to stop for a second, so she stopped but she said she has to go that way. Ignored her comment and build some basic rapport for like a minute, then I told her lets get coffee sometime. Didn't think it was gonna work but she immediately said yes. Then as I pull out my phone, she asked me if I have fb or wechat. I told her I don't really use fb then she entered her number into my phone. I recognized that I need to relate to her more or this number is sure gonna flake. So I asked her what she does for fun around here. She told she likes shooting. Brilliant! I did some shooting last semester. Talked about that for another minutes then we said goodbye.
Me: "Ok i'll text u later"
Her: "you can call me"
Me: "alright see ya!"
Her: "bye"
Text her an icebreaker 4 hours later : "Hey XX, It's smith =) this is my #"
Her: "Good ^_^ nice to meet u"

Then I went on my first date with this girl that I met two weeks ago.
We sit down outside the cafe. Deep dived and bantered for about 20 minutes.
When she told me about how her job in china is very routine, I forgot to ask her what kinda adventours stuff she likes to do?
Then I wanted to use thumb war as an excuse to establish touch.
Her: "what's thumb war?"
I look very skeptical.
Me: "u don't know what that is?"
Then I told her to give me her hand and showed her what it is. She seemed reluctant to keep holding my hand, and pulled away after about 5 seconds.
Her: "oh I don't know what u guys play in ur generation"
I was confused.
Me: "what do u mean?"
then she told me to guess how old she is. I guessed 24, but she told me she's 31.....lol I told her she doesn't look 31.
Me: "You're doing very well mixing with the young kids like us"
Her: "haha"
Then she told me she has booked a room for piano practice.
I took the lead and told her let's go play piano.

As we were walking, I deep dived more about her and found out she has traveled a lot.
Her: "I've been to France, Italy, UK, Hungary...etc"
Me: "so which country do u like the most?"
Her: "umm Hungary"
Me: " Yea I bet it's cuz the men there are good-looking"
Her: "haha I like their beer and food."

Then we got to the piano room. Talked about piano and music. She showed me some of the pieces she is learning. I used some playful touch while using humour to build her up. However, I noticed that she wasn't that receptive to my touch when I put my arm on her lower back. She would move away almost immediately.
Then we took turn playing. When she finished playing, I put my hand on her back again and told her "not too bad", but she immediately stood up, still not letting me touch her. The piano chair was a bit small. I told her to come sit next to me and let's play together, but she went to get another chair and told me that she's too fat and the chair won't fit.

We started to talk more about music, and she asked me where I live. Then I asked her about her living condition.
Her: "I live in a flat"
Me: "oh by yourself?"
Her: "Yea, I don't really like to share stuff with people haha"
Me: "haha same, that's why I live in a studio, but I'll still have to share the kitchen. So u can do just about anything in ur flat ae?"
Her: "yea. blah blah blah"
Me: "yea. Just close the curtain and u can walk around naked all you want."
Her: "hahaha"
I made a mistake here by telling a story that may have convey that I'm not confortable with sexuality.
Me: "Yea I once caught my flatmate walking around naked. She thought we were all out of town, but she didn't know I was coming back one day early. So when I walked into house, I was like "oh come on"." (Should have said "So when I walked into the house, I was like "oh nice view".")
Her: "hahaha that's why it's good to have flatmates" (I think this was what she said)
Me: "yea now it's kinda awkward." (probably shouldn't have said this, should have say something like "Yea now I'm having wild fantasy about her" and convey that I'm non judgemental.Then it's much easier to lead into the topic of sexual fantasy. DAMN)
I think that was a crucial point. I should've slow down and add pauses when I told her that story to give myself time to adjust what I was gonna say.

After about another 5 minutes of conversation.
I thought about just switching seats so she could practice piano.
ME: "u wanna practice right?"
I got up, and she got up, but she was showing me the way out. I was a bit surprised. "
Her: "It was nice meeting you."
Me: "give me a hug" I opened my arms. I think my body language wasn't strong enough.
Her: "haha noo"
I immediately dropped it and walked towards the door.
This was the most AWKWARD goodbye. I was disappointed and surprised that it ended like this. I was trying to reward her with sensuality whenever possible, but she seemed to be resisting it. I think I was being too much of an entertainer in the beginning, rewarding her with too much humour and not with sensuality. And when I switched to sensuality in the end, it was probably too confusing for her.

My next goal is to be more confident about injecting sexuality. I can do it naturally now and then but I'm not 100% confident about it because I'm worried how the girl's going to react. I need to change this mindset.
I know girls love sex, and I will lose their interest if I don't convey sexuality. If a girl doesn't like you, she'll reject your sexual frames and that's good because it stops wasting your time.
Women want to be touched. Make them feel sexy. You're disrespecting them if you think they don't like it. Have a confident body language when you touch. It's not creepy to escalate on a girl. It's only creepy and sleezy if you keep going when she doesn't like it

1. fundamentals - voice - projection, pace, pitch, be passionate(be dynamic and fluctuate so it doesn't mean u constantly shout or constantly talk in a low voice), pause
2. bantering (use humours that relate to her and put her at ease)
/deep-diving (relating and offer details and specifics, ask few interesting questions - talk about emotions and motives so don't collect facts from her, provide feedback - keep talking about her and drawing inferences about her in interesting ways or Use "yes and..." to add value into a conversation. specifics are catalysts for creativity.) Keep the conversation on her. Don't get hung up on topics.
/ screening-qualifying (need to do it).
3. cold reads - which has a ladder and it gets more intense - target emotion, personality, sexuality. Mini cold read - notice something about the girl and come up with a creative justification for it. Then if this is true, what else is true. Make the fantasy about the girl so it's emotionally relevant to her and she can participate.
4. sexual frames -set sexual frames -
i. set frames through stories
ii. set the frame by complimenting them so they'll feel like they want to live up to it.
iii. qualify her on the frame you want her in
iv. cold read the frame.
v. The frames that make her look like a sexual creature.
vi. The frames that make you sound sexually interested in her.
vii. The frames that make her look like she wants to fuck you. The more comfortable and relaxed u r, the easier it is to spontaneously let a sexual comment pass through. commanding tonality, introducing sexuality in the forms of push-pull or hypothetical scenarios (what if/have u ever). Physically. Eye contact.
5. flirting - subtlety and implication, wit and chase frames (investment and sexual humour)
6. push-pull

 

[Smith]

The weather was amazing today. It feels like summer is here and the girls are starting to show more skin. woohoo!
Being busy studying for my exams, I wasn't planning to go out to do daygame today, but as I was walking home, saw this cute girl wearing short jeans walking in front of me.
Those legggggs turned me on. I was trying hard to refrain myself from going up to talk to her, but I couldn't resist.
So I caught up to her and opened her.
She was showing signs of attraction after I opened her. I was speaking slow and relaxed with strong eye contact.
But I screw up during the conversation and I knew it as soon as I asked her a stupid question. After she said she's studying zoology because she likes animals, I should've done a cold read like, "Yea you seem like a caring and loving person who is also very feminine" instead of asking her "oh so what's your favourite animal?". I knew I fucked up because her answer was "oh all the animals." I suggested that we walk down the street, then she told me she's kinda seeing someone. (my interpretation: she likes this guy, but they're moving slow) I told her that's ok, I just wanna say hi. Then She started to ask me questions and told me she goes to a girl's high school, so I asked her innocently "so how did you meet boys?" then she laughed pretty hard saying "oh you don't". At this point, I had to turn left, so we said goodbye.

Things I could've done better
1. Should've done a cold read
2. wasn't relating at all, which was bad. Too much questions in the beginning.

1. fundamentals - voice - projection, pace, pitch, be passionate(be dynamic and fluctuate so it doesn't mean u constantly shout or constantly talk in a low voice), pause
2. bantering (use humours that relate to her and put her at ease)
/deep-diving (relating and offer details and specifics, ask few interesting questions - talk about emotions and motives so don't collect facts from her, provide feedback - keep talking about her and drawing inferences about her in interesting ways or Use "yes and..." to add value into a conversation. specifics are catalysts for creativity.) Keep the conversation on her. Don't get hung up on topics.
/ screening-qualifying (need to do it).
3. cold reads - which has a ladder and it gets more intense - target emotion, personality, sexuality. Mini cold read - notice something about the girl and come up with a creative justification for it. Then if this is true, what else is true. Make the fantasy about the girl so it's emotionally relevant to her and she can participate.
4. sexual frames -set sexual frames -
i. set frames through stories
ii. set the frame by complimenting them so they'll feel like they want to live up to it.
iii. qualify her on the frame you want her in
iv. cold read the frame.
v. The frames that make her look like a sexual creature.
vi. The frames that make you sound sexually interested in her.
vii. The frames that make her look like she wants to fuck you. The more comfortable and relaxed u r, the easier it is to spontaneously let a sexual comment pass through. commanding tonality, introducing sexuality in the forms of push-pull or hypothetical scenarios (what if/have u ever). Physically. Eye contact.
5. flirting - subtlety and implication, wit and chase frames (investment and sexual humour)
6. push-pull

 

[Smith]

Came across Richard's article on how to arouse women nonverbally, and suddenly realized what I've done wrong on my last date. I literally have no process for physical escalation. So here is it copied from the article

You start with basic and general touching like the elbow, or the shoulder
Then move to an embracing touch like a hug, or an arm around the shoulder
Then you move onward to an intentional touch like grabbing a girls hand across the table and stroking her hand with your fingers
The next step is more intimate and involves things like kissing, or sexual massaging, grabbing the butt or boobs
The final step is obviously sexual intercourse

I compared this with my first cold approach lay, and this was exactly what I did! Funny how I did it without actually knowing it. Although I have to remember this process can speed up a lot if the girl's attracted to you, but no skipping.

I'm gonna work on my nonverbals during the next few weeks when I'll be busy studying.

Met one girl today. She turned out to be about 10 years older than me (that's my guess), but still cute enough. I learned soon enough after my opener that she's only staying in town today and leaving tomorrow, and she only has one hour to spare then she's gonna go sightseeing.
Not long after that, she asked me where I live? and asked me if I had lunch?
Unfortunately I already had lunch and I have plan afterwards, so I couldn't do anything with her really =(
I felt like my fundamentals were carrying me rather than the conversation.
As we said our goodbye, we shaked hands and hold onto each other's hand for 3-5 seconds longer.

1. fundamentals - voice - projection, pace, pitch, be passionate(be dynamic and fluctuate so it doesn't mean u constantly shout or constantly talk in a low voice), pause
2. bantering (use humours that relate to her and put her at ease)
/deep-diving (relating and offer details and specifics, ask few interesting questions - talk about emotions and motives so don't collect facts from her, provide feedback - keep talking about her and drawing inferences about her in interesting ways or Use "yes and..." to add value into a conversation. specifics are catalysts for creativity.) Keep the conversation on her. Don't get hung up on topics.
/ screening-qualifying (need to do it).
3. cold reads - which has a ladder and it gets more intense - target emotion, personality, sexuality. Mini cold read - notice something about the girl and come up with a creative justification for it. Then if this is true, what else is true. Make the fantasy about the girl so it's emotionally relevant to her and she can participate.
4. sexual frames -set sexual frames -
i. set frames through stories
ii. set the frame by complimenting them so they'll feel like they want to live up to it.
iii. qualify her on the frame you want her in
iv. cold read the frame.
v. The frames that make her look like a sexual creature.
vi. The frames that make you sound sexually interested in her.
vii. The frames that make her look like she wants to fuck you. The more comfortable and relaxed u r, the easier it is to spontaneously let a sexual comment pass through. commanding tonality, introducing sexuality in the forms of push-pull or hypothetical scenarios (what if/have u ever). Physically. Eye contact.
5. flirting - subtlety and implication, wit and chase frames (investment and sexual humour)
6. push-pull

 

[Smith]

I bought Liam Mcrae's Rapid Escalation today. Interesting and fun read. I'm trying to figure out how to incorporate some of his concepts into GC stuff.
He's very bold about showing his intent right from the beginning, and I don't see much deep diving. A lot of touch, sexual frames, sex talk, us vs the world frames, role-play.
One of his reports on day time lay impressed me the most. It was how he realized that the girl was auto rejecting and he was asking too much investment. He took the pressure off a little with basic rapport, deep diving and relating to her to get her comfortable again. This is the same stuff Chase teaches here. The underlying principle of the game is essentially the same after all. There were also many non-compliances and rejections from the girl that I probably would have interpreted it as a solid 'no', but with his experience, he interpreted it as 'not here not now', and he was right lol. Still fuck the girl an hour later. It made me realized how important it is to not let small setbacks during an interaction phase you and don't take rejections personally. If she doesn't want to kiss you, it's probably because she's nervous and not ready for that yet. Don't take it personally, chill out and try later.
When he asked this girls he fucked for feedback. She said she liked the fact that he showed her that he want sex by touch, eye contact and voice tone, and....that she knew sex was gonna happen and wanted it from the beginning LOL what an important lesson here. Girls also have their comfort zone when you're moving fast with them. It's important to not push too far and pull back to respect her boundaries.

 

[Smith]

Haven't been going out much because of study, but on my way home today, I decided to meet one girl, just so it doesn't feel foreign to me.
My voice was high and a bit weak lol My vibe was a bit nervous initially but managed to calm down after a few seconds.
Right after I opened her, I'm like "oh wait how do you do this again?".
The conversation wasn't that good. Ask too many questions. Keep jumping threads. At least I took action today, was about to just head home.

1. fundamentals - voice - projection, pace, pitch, be passionate(be dynamic and fluctuate so it doesn't mean u constantly shout or constantly talk in a low voice), pause
2. bantering (use humours that relate to her and put her at ease)
/deep-diving (relating and offer details and specifics, ask few interesting questions - talk about emotions and motives so don't collect facts from her, provide feedback - keep talking about her and drawing inferences about her in interesting ways or Use "yes and..." to add value into a conversation. specifics are catalysts for creativity.) Keep the conversation on her. Don't get hung up on topics.
/ screening-qualifying (need to do it).
3. cold reads - which has a ladder and it gets more intense - target emotion, personality, sexuality. Mini cold read - notice something about the girl and come up with a creative justification for it. Then if this is true, what else is true. Make the fantasy about the girl so it's emotionally relevant to her and she can participate.
4. sexual frames -set sexual frames -
i. set frames through stories
ii. set the frame by complimenting them so they'll feel like they want to live up to it.
iii. qualify her on the frame you want her in
iv. cold read the frame.
v. The frames that make her look like a sexual creature.
vi. The frames that make you sound sexually interested in her.
vii. The frames that make her look like she wants to fuck you. The more comfortable and relaxed u r, the easier it is to spontaneously let a sexual comment pass through. commanding tonality, introducing sexuality in the forms of push-pull or hypothetical scenarios (what if/have u ever). Physically. Eye contact.
5. flirting - subtlety and implication, wit and chase frames (investment and sexual humour - use what SHE said and interpret it sexually or as her chasing you. )
6. push-pull

 

[Smith]

edit: Opened another girl when I was out. Soon after I opened her, she told me I look familiar, then it turns out we're studying the same course but she's one year older than me. lol don't remember seeing her anywhere. After finding this out, I just can't be bothered for some reason. Probably because it's getting close to social circle. So I half ass the conversation. I was filtering my thoughts and thinking too hard, which was bad. But before we said goodbye, she said it made her day, which was good. Well at least my eye contact was strong. I can't help but feel a little disappointed. Need to remind myself to have fun, be sexual and not get too outcome dependent.

 

[Smith]

One number two days ago. Opened her on my way home from gym. She wasn't my type, but I wanted to practice. I've watched Tom Torrero's audio from approach-date-sex. He is one smooth mf, and I like his style. highly recommend watching his videos on youtube. I'm trying to incorporate his style, like being laid back, don't ask questions in the beginning and put in some light and natural sexual spikes now and then. So I tried it out on this girl, but she was talking fast and kinda nervous, while I was just standing there, talking slow. I found that when I talk slow, I can come up with better teasing spontaneously. Number closed too fast. Even though I got her number, it feels flakey. I feel like the table has turned when you are the one relaxed and not trying too hard, and it puts pressure on her.

Then today, on my way home from the gym again, so this cute girl with sexy legs. Opened her with strong eye contact just before she was about to cross the road. She seemed nervous. Right there, I was thinking, wow! this laid back, low energy sexual vibe is working great!. She offered me her name and asked me what my name is.
I followed the process. Not ask any questions in the beginning. Just make assumptions about her, and tried to keep talking about her along the themes of emotion, personality and sexuality. Used the accusing her frame, which seemed to work great. One thing I think I didn't do enough was creating sexual spikes. Should have complimented on her legs when she said she was going to the gym. She asked me a lot of questions, and suddenly asked me if I'm the oldest in my family, which was super random lol. But maybe she was nervous. Didn't number close her because she turns out to be studying the same course as me, so we'll probably see each other around. She's most likely friends with some of my friends. In the past, I have been trying too hard to sexualize my interaction, but now I know it doesn't even have to be complicated or amazing. Need to remind myself to stop trying so hard to come up with amazing sexual frames. She's not gonna wanna have sex with you just because your sexual frame was amazing. Flirt not with jokes, but with sexual spike and cheeky vibe.

 

[Smith]

Haven't left the house for 2 days. Feeling pretty stressed out about my exams, but I had to go out to do grocery shopping.
It was a stormy weather and the wind was really strong. Kinda wished I had done my grocery shopping yesterday, and on my way to the supermarket, my umbrella broke, so I chuck it into a rubbish bin in a park and put on my hoody instead.

The supermarket was pretty empty. Saw two cute chicks that I could've opened, but I hesitated and lost the opportunity. I saw one of them at the end of an isle and walking towards me. Not making eye contact with her, I stood sideway checking out some items on the shelves. She stopped next to me and look at some items I was looking at. I was feeling pretty calm and was about to open her with a situational opener, but I knew I fucked up when I stopped to think about my opener and my heart rate started to rise. She then looked at her phone. Maybe was texting someone. We stood next each other for about 30-50 seconds, then she walked away without taking anything on the shelves. I knew I probably missed my chance. I walked around to see if she's still in the supermarket, but she's gone.

I felt bad about not taking action, so I walked around the supermarket looking for anyone to open, but it's mostly old people, so I decided to head out. I put on my hoody and carried my grocery bag in one hand. The weather just got worst when I stepped outside. But I knew I needed to take action.

There's barely anyone out on the street and most people were walking fast to get somewhere, but when I was about 50 meters from home, saw this ok-looking chick walking on the other side of the street. I have seen this chick around when I walk home sometimes, but I never open her because she was ok-looking and she seemed to live a little too close to me. But I thought, ""well you know, fuck it, it's almost end of the semester, she might be moving away next year"

So there I was, wet and wearing my hoody and carry a bag of grocery, jogging up to her side and opened. It was still windy and raining hard. Water was dripping down my hoody.
Me: "Excuse me"
She looked at me but kept walking
Me: "Hold up!"
Then she stopped
I maintained strong eye contact. I hold down my hoody because of the wind.
Me: "I just saw u walk past...and thought ur cute"
Her: "thought I'm what?"
Me: "thought ur cute"
Then she walked away to cross the road. I walked with her.
Me: "So I wanted to come say hi"
Her: "hi"
I noticed her starting to walk fast. Realize this is not going so well, I decided to leave.
Me: "oh well see u later"
Right there, I can hear my ego telling me "ur a creep, u just got blown out".
I used what James Marshall taught me. Took a deep breath, meditate to clear my mind and embrace the feeling in my body and not put any labels and judgement onto myself. Then analyze what went wrong from a practical point of view.
1. Forgot to smile. Not projecting my voice. should've taken into account that she was under an umbrella and it was raining, so I needed to speak louder than usual.
2. shitty weather, she was clearly in a rush to go somewhere and probably not in a good mood to be hit on by a guy. No one's fault
3. she's not interested.

It was a tough environment to meet a girl haha but I'm glad I gave it a shot. It would have been amazing if I did pull it off.
And looked back on my experience, the first 'approach' when I haven't done any in the last couple of days has always been like this with the girl quickly walking away lol, so yea I need to get my momentum back. Still have 2 and a half weeks until the exam's finished. Can't wait.
I wanted to go out and try again to see if I can pull it off in the rain, but I needed to get back to my study.

1. fundamentals - voice - projection, pace, pitch, be passionate(be dynamic and fluctuate so it doesn't mean u constantly shout or constantly talk in a low voice), pause
- Eye contact – Use it to sexualize an interaction. Prolong eye contact in a non threatening way. Don’t stare. Smile in a genuine sexually interested way. Try and focus on something you find physically attractive about her, gain pleasure from it and SHOW IT. U can then let her in on the fact that you find her attractive.
2. Don’t filter your thoughts.
bantering (use humours that relate to her and put her at ease)
/deep-diving (relating and offer details and specifics, ask few interesting questions - talk about emotions and motives so don't collect facts from her, provide feedback - keep talking about her and drawing inferences about her in interesting ways or Use "yes and..." to add value into a conversation. specifics are catalysts for creativity.) Keep the conversation on her. Don't get hung up on topics.
/ screening-qualifying (need to do it).
3. cold reads –Use what she said or notice something about her, e.g. her clothes, jewelry, anything to make an assumption about her emotion, personality, sexuality. Can use it to cold read a sexual frame. Link it to a setiment she has conveyed. Create fantasies. Be creative with its use. It has a ladder and it gets more intense. Mini cold read - notice something about the girl and come up with a creative justification for it. Then if this is true, what else is true. Make the fantasy about the girl so it's emotionally relevant to her and she can participate.
4. sexual frames -set sexual frames -
i. set frames through stories
ii. set the frame by complimenting them so they'll feel like they want to live up to it.
iii. qualify her on the frame you want her in
iv. cold read the frame.
The next 3 are sexual innuendo:
v. The frames that make her look like a sexual creature.
vi. The frames that make you sound sexually interested in her.
vii. The frames that make her look like she wants to fuck you. The more comfortable and relaxed u r, the easier it is to spontaneously let a sexual comment pass through.
Viii. commanding tonality, introducing sexuality in the forms of push-pull or hypothetical scenarios (what if/have u ever). Physically. Playful eye contact.
IX. Pretend not to hear what she’s saying and misinterpret it in a sexual way. Use sparingly
X. Use any hook to turn the conversation onto a sexual/dating plane. E.g. If she tells you she’s from X, tell her guys from X seem to be interested in (describe yourself), then ask her if she’s aware and chase frame it “your lucky day eh?”.
XI. . tell her what you want/shock tactics, e.g. Use something she said or any jewelry she’s wearing and give her a cold read that target emotion, personality, or sexuality. Ask her something sexual. When in a conversation, you can bust out these kind of powerful statements but they have to be used at the right time. Use the conversational pauses, look directly at her and then deliver the statements. You can start off with the tamer ones and move up the ladder to the more powerful ones. You must use your judgement about when to use these statements
XII. Invasion of personal space. Read her signals.
5. flirting - subtlety and implication, wit and chase frames (investment and sexual humour - use what SHE said and interpret it sexually or as her chasing you. ) Flirt not with jokes, but with sexual spike and cheeky vibe. Accusing her is the best frame.
6. push-pull

 

[Smith]

Had my first final exam today. one more week to go and I'm done.
I was very relieved after the exam since it was the hardest of the three and I can relax a little for the next two.
I haven't been sticking to my meditation for the past two weeks and found myself slipping out of present now and then, so I'm gonna start meditating again today.
Right after the exam, I went to the toilet and couldn't recognize myself in the mirror. lol Damn I look tired. I haven't shaved in two weeks and hair is far from sexy.
Oh well, the sun is shining. It seemed like a good day to do some pickup.

I found this guy on youtube who is very witty and natural, and I wanted to try out the way he opens girl. His name is Vadim and his channel is HonestSignalz.
My heart was racing like crazy when I walked up to the first girl who was waiting to cross the road.
She wasn't cute when she turned around, but I already said "hello", so might as well.
First mistake was opening her before the light turned green, so my opener was interrupted. Then she didn't seem to want to acknowledge me.
My mood dropped like a plane that has lost both of its engines. Then out of nowhere, I heard Owen's laugh in my head and I started laughing. haha I'm taking this too seriously. Then Rob's post on laughing came to mind. Hmm that was good reinforcement to be positive about rejections. Gotta train myself to laugh it off.

Then I head home, changed into my gym clothes and head to the gym. I promised myself I'll open another girl on my way to the gym.
Saw this girl walking past me. I immediately opened her.
Me: "Excuse me"
She stopped and turned around
Me: "girl with dark hair!" (Saw Vadim using this type of opener a lot, where he describe something about the girl)
She smiled a little.
Her: "yea?"
Me: "I just saw you walk past... and you look absolutely adorable.... I wanna come say hi" I had my palm open and gesturing a bit as I said this and probably smiled a little too much. I think I wasn't present enough and eye contact wasn't strong. My vibe could be better.
She paused for a bit and seemed nervous.
Her: "I have a bf" Then quickly walked away. lol. Then there's Owen's laugh in my head again haha.
My ego was telling me her bf was an excuse to get away from me and my vibe was creepy. I thought about it, then realized it was a negative self-talk and cleared my mind.

Worked out for an hour then on my way home, saw another cute chick walking past. I only decided to go talk to her when she was already about 50 meters away. I tried to catch up to her , but ended up opening another girl who walked past me.
She was walking a little too fast for me to catch up so I yelled from behind.
Me: "excuse me!"
She turned her head to the side and walked a little to the side. I jogged a few steps until I'm level with her and tried again
Me: "hello!"
She turned around and stopped.
My voice was hoarse from the work out lol I opened her my usual way. Old habit die hard.
Me: "This is a bit random *I cleared my throat* I just saw you walking past and u have the most lovely sense of style I've seen all day"
She starts laughing
Me: "Hi, I'm smith" extend my hand
She took my hand and I hold on to it.
Her: "I'm XX"
Me: "Is that Korean?"
Her: "japanese" still smiling "I'm actually in a rush"
Me: "yea all gud. Have a nice day" Then I let go of her hand.
Her: "you too"


Can't wait to go back out there again after the exams and get my momentum back. Almost forgot how important self-amusement and giving off value is. Thanks to Owen for pulling me out of my head when I got a little serious lol.

 

[Smith]

Girl 1
She looked really familiar when I opened her, but I couldn’t remember where I’ve seen her. She was warm when I complimented her, but immediately said she’s married. After she walked away, I remembered she was one of my lecturer last year lol.
Things I did well
- Eye contact
- Smile
Things I didn’t do well
- Should have kept talking instead of letting the conversation to die down

Girl 2
She looked a lot older than me when I opened her (I misjudged it), and I was being a little ‘fake’ when I laugh and with some of the things I said. I could hear myself talking and thought “wow, that sound so fake!” Anyway, the interaction didn’t last long. Should have been more genuine. She was a little older than I expected, so I was ‘half-assing’ it trying to put myself in a social mood.
Things I did well
- Took action. I hesitated for 15 mins before I walked up to her.
Things I didn’t do well
- Not being genuine and in the moment.

Girl 3
I jogged up next to her and try to catch my breath before I open. As I turned my head around, I caught her looking at me and she immediately looked away. I immediately opened her. She was a little shock and didn’t know what to say. I remember that I need to be aware of how I make the girl feel, so I laid back a little and we got into good rapport. She was still standing a little far. I moved a small step forward as I was talking, and noticed she took a slight step backward. Whether she’s doing it subconsciously or not, I wasn’t sure. At certain points of the conversation, she was laughing at the things I said, but I could tell she was very nervous lol. Made the mistake of saying “do you wanna get coffee sometimes?”. She said yes, but then hesitated to give me her number and wanted to exchange fb. I smiled and joked about how I just deactivated my fb yesterday, which was true. I asked her if she’s free tomorrow because I’m leaving soon, she said yes and around lunch time, so we kind of set up the time already. Then as we exchange number, her voice was shaking lol Geez, calm down girl. Still haven’t reply to my icebreaker. I have a feeling she’s too nervous.
Things I did well
- Unintentionally good preopen. Caught her checking me out.
- Calm and got myself into a social mood. Was teasing, joking and deep diving well.

Things I didn’t do well
- The conversation wasn’t sexual enough. (but she was really nervous, so I wasn’t sure if dialing up the sexuality would be the right thing. Nontheless, I should have remind her my intent by asking her if she’s single in the end)
- No touch.

Went home and have lunch. Then went out again.

Girl 4
This one was a lot of fun. I opened her right after she crossed the road. She was a little surprised but smiling at the same time. I commented on her huge backpack she was carrying and teased her about it. She kept saying she’s going to the supermarket, so I told her I’m walking the same way (not really) and I can walk with her if she doesn’t mind. She paused a little then said yea. We build good rapport
After she laughed at something I said.
Me: “U have a really cute laugh” (I’m learning to be direct with what I want to say, and it paid out)
Her: “hahahaha”
Me: “Yea I feel like you have a warm laugh and a good vibe”
Her: “*she mumbled something* I’ve just met you”
Me: “Well that’s true, but I felt like we’ve know each other for a while now, like good friends”
Her: “haha yea”
We kept bantering and deep diving a little. She started asking me questions trying to get to know me. I put my arm around her shoulder when I tease her and let go immediately. She seemed to enjoy it.
After walking for about 15 mins, I’ve decided to get her number.
Me: “So are you single?”
She looked confused. Her English is not that good.
Her: “haha single?”
Me: “yea, do you have a bf?”
Her: “Yea, and he’s Chinese too”
Wow, I was not expecting that. I just smiled and looked into the distance.
Me: “so how is this going to work?”
She still not understanding me.
I paused and thought about trying to explain it, but then decided against it. Better not bring up the bf again.
Me: “so can you speak Chinese too?” I touched her arm again and we’re now standing close to each other.
Her: “yea!”
Then she went on to pronounce the words she learned, and I just teased her about her pronounciation. Then she playfully hit my arm a couple of times. I dialed up the touching so there was a lot of touching here
Me: “Maybe you could teach me Japanese”
Her: “yea sure!” she said enthusiastically and taught me easy words like hello and thank you. I told her it’s too easy and she should make it challenging.
Me: “You’re really cute, how do you say it?” I touched her arm as I said this and I was in a sexual state getting a boner.
Her: “blah blah balh”
I repeated after her and maintained eye contact.
Her: “haha say it again”
Then I taught her how to say it in Chinese. The pronunciation was too hard, so she covered her face with her hands acting shy. I touched her arm again.
I felt like I could kiss her right now, but thought if I kiss her right now, the chance of getting a date with her will probably be a lot lower since she has a bf.
We exchanged number and told her we shall grab coffee sometime.

Things I did well
- Touch
- Sexual intent
- Not be afraid to say the things I want to say.
- Self-amused and non reaction seeking
- Teasing

Things I didn’t do well
- Felt like there was too much pull and not enough push.

Girl 5
She sounded like a man. I was scared.


I bought some new clothes then decided to head home.

Girl 6
Underaged. I was like “oh shit really?” when she told me she’s 15. Lol

Girl 7
Saw her waiting at a bus stop. I waited until she finished reading the bus timetable and slowly walked towards her and said ‘hi’.
She was a little surprised but smiling at the same time.
Developed good rapport and a little bit of incidental touch. I slowly close the distance between us. There was good banter and a little deep diving.
Then we exchanged numbers, but she kept engaging me in the conversation, then her bus came and we had a little ‘awkward’ goodbye. Not sure how it will affect anything.

Things I did well
- Initiated touch
- In the moment and good conversation.
- Good banter

Things I didn’t do well
- Should have reminded her my intent in the end and asked her if she’s single.
- Should have used the word sexy.

Things I’m going to do next time
- Self-amusement, non reaction seeking
- Touch
- Used the word ‘sexy’ and remind her my intent throughout the conversation.
- Balance pull with push.
- Be genuine and in the moment

 

[ray_zorse]

Props on continuing with the Chinese bf one, this usually kills,me, have been trying to think of some quirky/flirty line to use to convey discretion and get things back on track, your line "so how is this going to work?" is a bit subtle but I think conveys intent... hmm might use that. Nice approaches.
cheers, Ray

 

[Smith]

Props on continuing with the Chinese bf one, this usually kills,me, have been trying to think of some quirky/flirty line to use to convey discretion and get things back on track, your line "so how is this going to work?" is a bit subtle but I think conveys intent... hmm might use that. Nice approaches.

thanks ray! I just thought of another better way to handle it would be to pause with a cheeky smile then say "that's gonna be a little inconvenient".

8/11/14
Girl 1
On my way home from the gym, I wasn’t planning to open any girls because of my sloppy gym clothes and messy hair, but thought “what the hell? Might as well”.
The streets were literally dead because most people have gone home for the holiday. Opened the first girl, she was warm and said ‘thank you’ with a big smile. The conversation got a little stale when we both talked about boring stuff. Managed to spike up the emotion a bit in the end but stumbled my words when I asked her out. Still got her number, but it’s not promising. Oh well, first girl of the day.
Things I did right
- Opened well

Things I didn’t do well
- dive a little too deep
- Shouldn’t have deep dived too much about what she studies. From my experience, this topic almost always makes the conversation boring.

#2
1 min later, a girl crossed the street. Opened her. I realized I was really present and I’m getting good at making my compliment more specific, which make the girls smile more warmly. I was enjoying this one, even though the girl isn’t really my type. I kept my intent clear in the end, and gave her a cute nickname on my phone and she was laughing. However, she still hasn’t reply my icebreaker, which is strange.
Things I did well
- Banter
- Thought I got the deep diving/banter ratio right.
- Touched her arm in the end when we were standing a little closer.
- Used interesting words

Things I didn’t do well
Can’t really think of anything for this one, but if anything, I should’ve tried to establish touch a little earlier.

#3
4 mins later, another girl across the street caught my eyes. Thought about just going home, but I’m in a really good vibe.
I opened her again and making my compliment light hearted and specific. She responded well. I got her to show me her necklace. The interaction was a little too long and I realized I missed my window to close.
Her: “So do u just talk to strangers a lot? Do u scan around and”
I cut her off
Me: “haha well I don’t ‘scan around’ like a radar”
Her: “hahaha”
Me: “but I do like to travel and this is how I meet new people. I noticed you when u walked past”
Her: “haha”
When the conversation started to die down, and she started to say “well it was really nice talking to u…” I asked her out, which I knew was a little too late in the interaction to ask. She paused for a bit then say “oh why not?”
She asked if I have fb, but I don’t so we exchanged numbers.
I didn’t leave right after the number exchange, and we bantered about her travelling and I initiated a little touch, then we said goodbye.
Things I did right
- Self-amused.
- I was relaxed and present.

Things I didn’t do well
- Should’ve exchanged number earlier and kill the interaction rather than letting it die down.

Then went home and have lunch. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go out again, but the weather was so damn good.

#4
This one was a little long, and she was probably 10 years older than me lol.
To be honest, I was too lazy to ditch her and open another girl, so this one was just a little bit of fun.
She’s a backpacker, staying for 3 days. The initial conversation was a little one sided when she’s giving me simple answers, but I didn’t feel the need or anxiety to keep filling the silence. I was just present, and pauses for a bit then kept bantering and talking. She started to laugh more and opened up to me. At one point, when she started to gave me one word answer again, I just stared at her waiting for her to say more. She couldn’t stand the social pressure and started laughing. I learned this from Liam Mcrae, who said to use pauses and eye contact to create pressure to make a girl laugh. I started to establish some touch. At one point, I asked her if she’s single.
Me: “so….are you single?”
Her: “hahaha why?”
Me: “just curious”
Her: “hmmmmmmmmmmmm no”
It felt like a fake ‘no’.
Her: “Are you single?”
Me: “why do u ask?”
Her: “I don’t know haha”
Me: “maybe”
I made a few mistake along the way. She asked me to hold onto her brochures a couple of time. I agreed to hold onto them the first time because she needed to get her backpack, but the second time it happened; I teased her that I’m not her assistant while still holding onto her stuff, which was bad. We found a bench to sit while she wait for her bus. Then she started to ask me if I do this a lot. I joked about it and deflected it, but she kept digging. I was a little drained by now and didn’t feel like talking much. So we talked about the places she’s been to and mixed with some bantering. I kept the incidental touch going. She’s not rejecting it, but she’s also not reciprocating it back as well. Then her bus is about to come and she wanted to wait by the bus. I was too tired to move. She stood up and looked at me waiting for me to stand up as well.
Me: “I’m too tired”
Her: “haha it was really nice to meet you”
Then we exchanged goodbye. The bus stop is actually about 20 meters behind the bench, so she could still see me seating on the bench. After a few minutes, I heard the bus came, so I turned my head around and saw her waving at me. I waved back.

Things I did well
- Eye contact and pauses
- touch

Things I didn’t do well
- Not rejecting compliance the right way.
- Didn’t lead the conversation topic more sexual in the end. It was a little sexual, but I felt like I could push it even further.

#5
Saw her at the supermarket. She hovered around me and gave me a shy smile. I ‘froze’ and didn’t open her right there.
Her: “sorry” she reached out to grab something in front of me
I smiled and said that’s alright.

I thought to myself “damn it, what are you doing?” so I managed to catch her outside the supermarket.
Me: “Hey excuse me”
Her eyes was already wide open giving me a surprised look and smiling.
Me: “I think we crossed path earlier….ur really cute so I have to come say hi”
She still looked shock and started to walk away
Her: “thank you” in a shy voice but still smiling
I smiled at her warmly
Me: “Stay. Two minutes. What is your name?”
Her: “XX” still walking away “ Thank you”
Thought to myself at least I took action.


Things I’m going to do next time
- Self-amusement, non reaction seeking – Doing quite well with this
- Touch – it’s something I need to remind myself or I forgot to do it
- Used the word ‘sexy’ and make the conversation sexual.
- Balance pull with push.
- Be genuine and in the moment
- Learn to reject compliance

 

[Smith]

9/11/2014
#1
Met her on my way to a date. My date texted me that she’s going to be a little late, so I walked around to meet some new girl. Stumbled my opener on the first one, and she gave me a thank you but weird look, like “oh that was random”. Lol oh well
Things I didn’t do well
- Stumbled my opener

#2
Saw her sitting by herself looking at her phone. Walked towards her slowly and opened her. Her English wasn’t that good, so I had to repeat my opener slower. I sat down next to her. Build a little rapport and initiated touch. She’s actually just cute enough, but I still get a boner from touching her. She seemed to be very warm. Teased her and flirted. She was free, and if I wasn’t going on a date, I would have invited her to a coffee and pulled her home. When I touched her hand, they were very sweaty lol so she must have been really nervous. She asked me what I’m doing later.
Her: “what are you doing later?”
Me: “I’m going to meet a friend for a coffee. She said she’ll text me when she’s finished.”
Her: “oh…is it a gf?”
Me: “ummm not really. Are you single?”
Her: “haha yea” she looked down shyly
Me: “Good ”
Her: “haha”
Then my date texted me she’s there.
Me: “well listen… let’s get coffee or hot chocolate another time”
Her: “really? Yea sure!”
Me: “yea let me get your number”
I’m leaving on Wednesday. I asked her if she’s free tomorrow or Tuesday. She said she’s free on Tuesday, so we agreed to meet up on Tuesday.

FR: very conservative girl

I met this girl about 3 weeks ago before my exams. We were going to go on a date, but she flaked on me because ‘the weather was too cold and stormy’, which was reasonable because I didn’t want to go out either. She suggested to meet up another time, but I was busy so I didn’t set up a time.

So yesterday, I texted her and managed to set up a date.

I couldn’t remember what she looked like, so I was hoping she was cute and thank god she was quite cute.
When I arrived, she was the only one in the coffee shop, so there’s no way I can mistake another girl for her lol. We ordered our coffee and sat down.

Talked about some stuff, and I initiated some touch from the beginning. She seemed to be quite warm and talkative.
We were talking about travelling
Her: “maybe you could be my guide”
Me: “hmmm”
Her: “haha no?”
We talked more about doing adventurous stuff, such as sky diving, bungy jumping…etc
Her: “*talking about some magic trick*”
Me: “I think you would make a cute assistant on stage”
Her: “haha really?”
Me: “yea u seemed to know all the secrets”
After about 40 minutes, when we were talking about a video, I suggested let’s go watch it now and we left for my place.

After getting back at my place, I showed her the video. Then we sat down on my bed and started talking for about 10 mins. I was starting to worry about when to kiss her. There was a pause. She turned her head and looked out the window. I turned her head around and try to kiss her. She backed off.
Her: “haha what are you doing?”
Me: “hmmm?”
Her: “I’m very conservative, and I still have my first kiss. *she went on to talk about Chinese culture and how it’s very conservative”
Me: “Wait? u still have ur first kiss? I understand what you mean, and I respect that but I enjoy living in the moment and appreciate life as it is. I like to be spontaneous.”
Her: “spontaneous? What does that mean?”
Me: “it means….in the moment.”
She still doesn’t quite get it. I sighed…never mind.
Her: “I preferred to get to know another person and become familiar with them before I jump into a relationship.”
Me: “well I don’t do that. I think that sucks the fun out of a relationship. By the time you get to know another person too well, there won’t be any mystery in the relationship.”
Her: “haha hmmm yea”
We talked about something else, then she mentioned she did naughty things.
Her: “U look like a good boy. U probably can’t imagine the naughty things I did. Just guess and I’ll tell u if it’s true.”
In my mind, I was thinking about threesomes and BDSM.
I smiled at her.
Me: “have u ever done BDSM?”
Her: “what’s that?”
Oh god. How do I explain this.
I used gay parade as an example and mentioned handcuffs…etc.
Her: “haha no when I said naughty, I don’t mean sexy things. I mean getting into a fight and climbing a tree.”
Me: “haha are you serious? that’s not naughty enough!”

I can’t remember what we went on to talk about, but somehow we were playing paper-scissor-rock and the loser has to tell another person a secret. I lost.
Her: “How many girls have you brought home?”
This question again!! This is the second time.
I paused and think. I tried to deflect the question.
Her: “haha just answer my question.”
Alright, last time I answered this question, I exaggerated a little to avoid truly answering the question and I think that put the girl into autorejection, so this time I think I’ll be honest.
Her: “hurry up! Is it because there’s too many to count?”
Me: “4 or 5”
Her: “haha really? Is that ture?”
Me: “yes it’s true.”
I looked at her genuinely.
Her: “alright”
Me: “another round?”
Her: “haha ok”
She lost this time.
Me: “are you a virgin?”
Her: “virgin?”
Me: “ have u had sex before?”
Her: “no”
I asked her about the number of relationships she had. She said two. I asked her if she kissed any of them, she said ‘yea, but it was just a light peck, not a long make out’
Me: “haha oh really? I felt sorry for the guys”
Her: “it’s actually really normal for girls in china to lose their virginity at 24.”
Me: “haha, that is bullshit”
Her: “do you think it’s weird that a girl like me (she’s 20) still haven’t done it? Compare it with white girls”
Me: “do you think sex is a bad thing?”
Her: “No, I think it’s good but I think doing it this young is wrong.”
Me: “You’re not young. Think about it. We only have around 70 years on this planet, and you’re already about 1/4 way through.”
Her: “haha nooo I am young! Do you remember the last 20 years?”
Me: “ no, not really. Time flies”
Her: “well I do”
I deep dived her about her past.
I went in to kiss her again, and she put her hand on my mouth.
No biggie.
Her: “I told you. No kissing”
I get her to move closer to me. She resisted a little and said she’s afraid. I promised her I won’t do anything she’s not comfortable and she moved a little closer to me.
There were a couple of times when my touch is too boyfriend-like, she’ll move my hand away.
Me: “You know? You don’t really let anyone in”
Her: “yea I only let people in when I know them for a long time.”
This is getting frustrating for me. She’s not leaving, but she won’t let me make a move. She’s still talking and enjoying the conversation and complying to a certain degree. We shared our view on relationships. I told her I don’t really do one gf-one bf thing. I tried to use the word monogamous, but she doesn’t even understand what that means.
Me: “*I explained to her the 4 stages of a relationship*. I think if two people love each other, it’s because they want to be together, not because they have an obligation to make it work even though deep down they know it’s not working. ”
I told her about casual and open relationships, but I don’t think she understood me, and probably thought I’m just a player. Lol.
Her: “It would be really interesting to be your friend and listen to your stories where you encounter girls every day. You should be the story-man”
Me: “the what?”
Her: “the story-man. I’m creating that word.”
Me: “haha ok. Well I don’t share my encounters with anyone (except GC), not even my closest guy friends.”
Her: “really?”
Me: “yea”
Her: “so it’s your secrets. You’re such a bad boy”
Her: “don’t you think it’s nice that a guy would prepare gifts and do things for a girl before they get together?” (she basically described the usual chasing behavior in chinese dating culture. A guy would do a lot of things for a girl before she even accepts him)
Me: ‘No I think it’s silly’


After talking for another few minutes. She tried to friend-zone me. I think it’s because I firmly told her I don’t do the slow dating process people in Chinese culture do.
Her: “I see you as a friend. Not a bf. And I would really want you to be my friend because you’re so interesting and funny. Thank you for talking to me. I really wanted to practice my English. Thank you.”
Me: “I’m afraid I can’t just be your friend. I like you, and that wouldn’t be fair on me.”
Her: “I really hope I can see you again. I can only be your girl friend. haha I mean friend”
Me: “It will be sad to not see you again.”
Her: “Then be sad! Or be my friend!”
Me: “haha I’m sure I’ll get over it in a minute”
Her: “haha yea I’m sure you will” She nodded in agreement.

Then she walked towards the door.
Her: “I do hope I can see you again.”
Me: “you know I can’t be your friend.”
She put on her shoes.
Me: “give me a goodbye hug”
She hugged me, and turned around.
Her: “have a good holiday!”
Me: “you too!”
Things I did well
- Touch
- Good banter
- Pulling her home
- Be present.

Things I didn’t do well
- Sexual innuendo. Felt like these could be better than some of the sex talk since she was inexperienced.
- Should have led the topic to more sex talk, such as sexual fantasies.
- Not expressing my opinion that sexual freedom is good. (or not doing it clear enough that she understands what I’m talking about)
- Should have challenged her frame when she called me a good boy, but strangely she also called me bad boy and kept switching.
- My vibe was TOO entertaining, even though I used touch. Need to dial down the energy when in a secluded seduction spot. I think it could be the main reason I’m friend zoned. Chase said funny guys make great friends!

 

[Smith]

11/11/14
Had a date that blew up in my face because I was moving too fast and not reading the girl properly.
After the date, met another girl. It was my last day in this city, so I was hoping she’ll be free tonight.
#1
She looked familiar, but opened her anyway. She seemed like she was going to walk away, but introduced myself and got good rapport and teasing going. Then she started to ask me questions. She seemed hooked. She told me she’s busy for her PhD presentation tomorrow, but I have to ask.
Me: “So are you free tonight?”
Her: “No, I’m really busy blah blah blah”
I decided not to take her number for some reason
Me: “well it was really nice meeting you”
Her: “yea you too!” She gave me a little weird disappointed look.

Things I did well
- My voice! I didn’t realize my voice was sexy and clear until half way through the conversation.

12/11/14
Mall
#1
I had a long 6 hours bus ride today. Pretty tired in the end even though I slept on the bus. It seemed like sleeping on the bus actually makes you more tired!
An interesting thing happened when our bus stopped for a lunch break. An alcoholic drunk guy approached me. I could smell alcohol before he even opened his mouth. Even though he seemed friendly, it still made me want to get away from him. I tried to be non-judgmental. It made me realize how important fundamentals are. You can be the most charming guy on the inside but if you have absolutely zero fundamentals, you’re fighting an uphill battle from the start.

In the afternoon, I went to get my haircut and was planning to just head home, but felt the need to meet some girls since I’ll be staying here for a couple of days before flying out on Saturday.

At the mall, I missed one good opportunity. I still don’t know why! But opening girls in the mall just made me hesitate more than usual, and you can easily miss an opportunity if you hesitate in the mall because girls will walk into a store if you don’t stop them quickly. So yea…30 minutes passed, I finally opened my first girl.

The timing was terrible, but I thought “fuck it! Now or never”. Well I opened her right before she was about to enter the parking lot. It was noisy and she couldn’t hear what I said. Then I got self-conscious when a guy walked past and I had to repeat my opener. She gave an awkward smile then walked away.

Things I did wrong
- Reaction seeking

Things I should’ve done
- Self-amusement and non-reaction seeking
- Don’t take social feedback too seriously.

#2
I relaxed a bit more and remind myself to be self-amused and non-reaction seeking.
Me: “excuse me!”
She turned towards me. I avoided eye contact at first so I don’t look too intimidating, but it seemed like I looked away for a bit too long. She started to walk away. Then we made eye contact.
Me: “One thing before you go” I smile at her
Then she stopped and we faced each other.
Me: “I just saw you walk past and you look really…”
She was smiling
Her: “really?”
Me: “..cute”
Her: “haha thank you!”
Then she started to walk away. I wasn’t going to follow her, so I slowly walked away in the opposite direction.
Her: “have a good day!”

Things I did right
- Voice was a lot better and relaxed.

Things I should’ve done
- Insist her to stay and introduce myself. Don't reject myself.

Things I’m going to do next time
- Self-amusement and non-reaction seeking
- Used the word ‘sexy’ and make the conversation sexual.
- Balance pull with push.
- Learn to reject compliance
- Get gradually larger investments from girls.
- Don't reject myself

The thing about this city is that I don’t know anywhere else that is good to meet girls during the day besides the mall. No one really goes to the city centre anymore due to an earthquake that destroyed pretty much everything a few years ago. The streets are pretty much dead.

I found that rejection only REALLY sting if you open a girl in a way that’s not self-amusement and you’re trying to please the girl (reaction seeking). Making the girl’s reaction your first priority when you open will affect your mood if she doesn’t respond the way you want. But if you open her in a way that’s amusing to you, it seems more natural and even if she walks away, you’re already a man for being yourself.

After my first rejection today, I was ready to beat myself up since I’ve been doing so well the last couple of days, but I remembered this is a number’s game. If I had an amazing interaction with the first girl, I bet if the second interaction had gone sour I wouldn’t even mind it. It’s funny how your mind works.

Find the girls that are into you. Screen out the ones that are not. Don’t try to get any particular girl to like you.

I'm starting to wonder where all of this is going...Is it just to sleep with more girls... or is there more...

My challenge next time is to talk to really cute girls, e.g. u know the ones, the stunners, the 9s and 10s. Sometimes I reject myself before I even talked to them and I just realize how much that fuck with my self-esteem. I'm basically judging myself unworthy and that's fucked up. I used to come up with the excuse that I'll talk to them once my game is better, and that sounds ridiculous because how am I gonnna get better if I don't talk to them? I'm not gonna let myself off the hook now. Talking to average cute chicks just don't do it for me anymore. I need motivation. If I got blown out, then that's ok because I'll know that I did the best I could at that moment. Time to push myself to the next level.

 

[Smith]

FR: Life intervene

I got this girl's number about 3 months ago, but I was going to another city, so we didn't meet up. I texted her last month and build up some rapport. Then a few days ago, I texted her to set up a date for tomorrow. However, she texted me today saying she has to work tomorrow, so either we meet up tonight or saturday. I'm going away on Saturday so it has to be tonight. Then she told me she has to go to the airport at night and ask me if it's ok. I told her it's fine, but I was pretty bummed because that means we only have about 50 minutes. She looks the type of girl that I would fell for and I tried not to think ahead and create fantasies about her.

During the date, she was pretty talkative, and I was in a pretty neutral vibe. She talks a lot and it was pretty hard for me to steer the conversation.
She was talking fast and seemed kinda nervous. I barely talked about anything because it was so hard for me to put a word in. Also my voice wasn't working for some reason.

In the end, I failed to relate to the things she was saying and I could feel she's going into autorejection. Time flies and there was no time for me to salvage this. She had to leave. I walked her to the bus stop.
Her: "So text me when ur free"
Me: "sure"

Then I had 30 minutes to spare before grabbing a drink with my friend. Go to the bookstore and opened two girls. Both situationally, which I rarely do.
#1
standing in front of the birthday card section.
Me: "excuse me...Do u know which one is the best birthday card?" (I was pretty relaxed and actually didn't plan this opener. It just came out of my mouth after I said 'excuse me')
She smiled
Her: "actually I'm here to pick up a birthday card to haha"
Me: "yea? how old is your birthday girl?"
Her: "She's 23. We still have to pick a present for her bd on sat haha"
Me: "So lazy"
Her: "haha"
Me: 'well actually, I thought your really cute I had to come say hi, and that was my shitty pickup line" (probably shouldn't have said the second part, but oh well)
Her: 'haha" she's smiling more now.
We introduced each other. Then two of her friends came around.
They started talking and they dragged her away.
Her: "I'm sorry!"
Me: 'haha all gud"

Then later, I saw her coming down the escalator while I was going up. We smiled at each other

Things I did right
- open indirect direct.

Things I should've done
- Push for close.


#2
This girl walked into the store a few seconds afterwards. She stopped in front of some minecraft toys.
Me: " do you play minecraft?"
She looked at me and smiled
Her: "yes. I'm from Japan. I have never seen this anywhere else so it's pretty interesting."
Some rapport building and teasing.
Me: "I like your style. It's very rock n roll"
At one point of the conversation, she becomes disinterested and I'm not sure what happened. It's probably because I was talking about something she's not interested in.
Me: "Are you free tomorrow to grab coffee?"
Her: "no I'm pretty busy tomorrow. Do you have fb?"
Me: "No I don't actually."
Her: "oh...it was nice meeting you."
Me: " yea it was"

Things I did right
- just open
- good teasing and smooth rapport.


Things I did wrong
- Getting hung up on topics

Then at around 12.15 am, I texted the girl. Hoping to salvage things, cuz I know I probably won't see her again anyway.
Me 12.15: "Hey u awake?"
Her 12.16: "Hey wassup?"
I tried to be empathetic, non-needy and non-emotional.
Me 12.55: "oh hey =) was just thinking ur a cool girl today and wished we could've meet up some other time cuz I was pretty beat today but I'm leaving on sat! I don't want you to feel like I wasn't listening to you when I didn't talk much. I felt like I have to tell you this because I wanna become more than friends =) I hope I express this right lol I'm no good over text"

Well I don't know why I felt the need to to text her this lol.

 

[Smith]

Just temporarily living in a big city for 3 months. Game is hard, especially asians. Even though I'm asian, asian girls give me the harshest blow out.
Yesterday was Ok, one date, couple of numbers, but the number close was low compared with how I usually do back home.
Today is probably the worst. I almost decided to give up. More than 10+ blow out from asian girls, and one fake number. I think one of the main reasons is that most of them don't speak good english, so they just leave and don't stop. Another factor could be the environment. I found that busy streets have a lot less stop rate than the park, which is more chill. Girls are also more guarded.
Then I was on the brink of giving up and decided to go to a tourist area to open some tourist. Immediately went on an insta-date with a girl and her friend. I wished I had a wingman. I had good-chemistry with one girl, but I couldn't make my touch too obvious in front of her friend. The sexual tension was there and she was responding well. We decided to keep in touch. Too bad they're leaving tomorrow...

I'm too fucking tired to type up any FR now. Typing up 20+ blow out in the last few days is not fun. I might just stop opening asian girls and start going for european and latinas since at least they respond warmly even if they're not available. But damn, asian girls are pretty abundant here.

I also have to find a job, which is pretty stressful as well.

Please give me the strength to continue tomorrow.

 

[Smith]

A lot of things happen in the last couple of days.
I'm not too concerned about getting the results I thought I would get. Rather I wanna enjoy the moment and have fun. It's the only way to push forward and not get demotivated.
I feel like some of my interactions are actually pretty smooth, but for some reason when I go for the date, I get a no.
It could be my fundamentals.
I've improved my eye contact and voice. Since I have little money left and I'm still trying to find a job, I haven't been able to sign up to a gym and buy new clothes.
This city is a hard training ground. I've seen the worst blow outs in the last couple of days, now I'm pretty insensitive to it.
If the girl is asian and doesn't understand much english, then it's a good combination for a harsh blow out lol Cold stare + walk away.
Now I just try to be self-amused even if things don't go smoothly.

I've been keeping my promise and open really cute girls. Now I don't feel intimidated around them, and average cute girls just don't even motivate me to even open at all.
Opened a really cute stewardess today (like the type of girl I would use to only dream about meeting). Too bad she was flying out in a few hours. Didn't really connect with her.
I should also start download WeChat on my phone, since it seems to be how most people connect around here.

For some reason, I can't get a quick number close like I use to. I know it's better to get a number under 5 minutes, but I can't seem to do it unless I spend 10-15 minutes talking to her. Could it be that people in the city are more guarded? Maybe I'm doing something different that I'm not aware of.

I can't be bother typing up some of the dates and good interactions I had because I'm too tired when I get home everyday. I was a little disappointed when I went on an instadate with this girl, who seemed pretty amazing personality-wise. The insta-date was a bit too long, but I think we both enjoyed the conversation and sexual tension. There were times when we just looked deeply into each other's eyes. I told her to sing for me on my birthday that's coming up soon. She agreed and I told her to think of something for me to do on her birthday as well. When we were about to say goodbye, we looked at each other for a while, then I said to her "are you waiting for me to ask for your number?" She laughed, and said something.
Me: "Yea I think we should exchange number."
She put out her hand. gesturing me to give her my phone.
I gave it to her and she typed it in.
One little fucked up in the end. I asked her to give me a hug. She said no in a joking way, so we high fived. She has traditional values. I don't see the hug rejection as that big of a deal and I think I recovered well. I mean, I went on another date with another girl, who rejected my hug early on in the date, but she still hugged me in the end, so I don't see it as a flat-out no, rather it's a 'not yet'.
Sent her an icebreaker 3 hours later. No reply.....I don't think that little fuck up in the end could have a major impact on this. could it?

Logistic is crap. 30 mins train ride to the city. Might need to do multiple dates to get girls to come over, or just go to the girl's place if they live in the city.

 

[fsc]

Game is hard, especially asians. Even though I'm asian, asian girls give me the harshest blow out.

A lot of the Asians who aren't really Americanized give me looks like "WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW?!" Lols.

I'm too fucking tired to type up any FR now. Typing up 20+ blow out in the last few days is not fun. I might just stop opening asian girls and start going for european and latinas since at least they respond warmly even if they're not available. But damn, asian girls are pretty abundant here.

I also have to find a job, which is pretty stressful as well.

Please give me the strength to continue tomorrow.

I wish you the best and hope that all goes well bro.

 

[Smith]

Fsc,

A lot of the Asians who aren't really Americanized give me looks like "WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW?!" Lols.

lol I opened two asian girls yesterday indirect direct. The girl I liked looked down and was super shy, but her friend was like "what?". Then they ran away. It was pretty funny.

On a bright note, I found a job today, but I have to work all weekend, which is not too bad. It'll give me time to game during the week.

Thanks for the support bro!

 

[Dern]

I'm not too concerned about getting the results I thought I would get. Rather I wanna enjoy the moment and have fun. It's the only way to push forward and not get demotivated.

Yep.

I've been keeping my promise and open really cute girls. Now I don't feel intimidated around them, and average cute girls just don't even motivate me to even open at all.

Straight. Haha.

For some reason, I can't get a quick number close like I use to. I know it's better to get a number under 5 minutes, but I can't seem to do it unless I spend 10-15 minutes talking to her. Could it be that people in the city are more guarded? Maybe I'm doing something different that I'm not aware of.

Remember how we were talking about how a large number of flakes are due to not having an emotional connection with the girl? That's why it's probably better to have a longer interaction as you can actually build an emotional connection. I've realized that a lot of my number flakes are due to short interactions that don't mean much. I would only go for the quick number pull if she's busy, like on her way to class or work. In those interactions, since I don't really have time to get into a huge "deep" talk, I just go for light and flirty.

I find it funny because you're more used to a small town than a big city and it's the exact opposite for me. I always hear that in a smaller town, people are more friendlier, and in my experience so far, I guess that's true to a certain extent, since you're always seeing the same people and people are relatively scarce in general. I'm not sure what exact city you're in right now, but from where I'm from, because there's so many people, everyone is just in their own little bubble; all doing their own thing. So yeah, it's true that you're gonna be prone to more rejection, but remember, you'll also have waaaayyyy more girls to approach

lol I opened two asian girls yesterday indirect direct. The girl I liked looked down and was super shy, but her friend was like "what?". Then they ran away. It was pretty funny.

lol.

Funny thing, cause I'm asian too, but I never approach asian girls. just don't find them attractive for whatever reason...