Smith's journal

[Sophisticated Gent]

Smith,

Things are moving along well for you. I had a couple of comments.

she asked me "where do I live?". It was a clear sign to get out of there.... she asked me "Do you live with your parents?". She was pretty compliant and we walked to our car, where I tried to hold her hand again. She rejected that, but still got in the car.

She was not being congruent in her signs to you. She asked about your place twice but she doesn't want physical contact. I think she was having a hard time deciding if she likes you. I think the language barrier hurt because you probably were having trouble building comfort. If you could have gotten into the deep diving I think the comfort level would have increased and she would have been more open to the physical contact. I do think she was sexually attracted to you. It was more of a comfort issue.

I need to find a way to make car sex work in the future.

1. I assume you are restricted to a city setting so find a big parking lot with spaces in the back that no one uses and passes by. Another alternative is to find a hideaway spot like behind a building. Make sure wherever it is it should be safe. You don't want hoodlums or the police showing up. (I had a sheriff knock on the window once. Fortunately we had finished and were dressed. He was cool and told us to leave then he drove off.)
2. Start making out in the front then make an excuse to move to the back seat. NarrowJ used the excuse that he wanted to just kiss her some more. The classic is that we would be more comfortable in the back.
3. Move to the back seat but slide the seats forward before moving to give you more room.
4. If you have a small car it can be almost impossible to get into a adapted missionary position which is unfortunate. A way to simulate this is for you to sit with her on top of you facing you. You pull her to you and you pick her up and down by her butt to create the rhythm. Don't let her do the movements without your direction. She will try to dick on her g spot which you won't have enough angle to make good contact. Plus she won't get the rhythm right. You'll want to push your dick like you are trying to hit her tail bone then go up into her as far as possible. If she gets the rhythm then you can grab her shoulders to pull her hard down into your lap for maximum penetration. The downside to this position is that you and her have to lift her weight. This gets tiring after a while.
5. Have some provisions in your car. Fresh condoms, (don't leave them in the car), a towel, wipes for cleaning with, a blanket if it is cold outside, a trash bag and an optional pillow. The pillow is useful to keep her head from banging on the door in missionary position.
6. Have fun.

"even girls with bfs", "she said she has a bf", "After talking to her for a bit, she said she has a bf, but if she was single she would really want to get that coffee with me. I teased her "well that doesn't matter" and she laughed, but I asked her "are you in love with him?", and she said yes."

You seem to be getting a lot of bf tests. Be prepared to reply to the bf. Assume it is a test. You did question the last girl but in a way that give her an out. Instead of replying the first time act like she didn't say it. Here you should have said when would you be free for coffee. Force her to bring the bf up again. If it is a test she may not try again but then she may again. If she does again then quickly ask her bf's name. Look for hesitation. If she doesn't respond immediately call her out. "So you don't know his name? Let's go for coffee. If she responds quickly then ask where he lives or where does he go to school or work. If she has quick answers then she most likely has a boyfriend. If not call her out. "He must not be much of a boyfriend if you don't know where he lives. Let's go for coffee so we can get to know each other better than you know him? You need to push through the test so you can move on to the date. Read up on some of the articles on shit test on here.

Keep up the good work. Soon you will have a breakthrough moment.

SGent

 

[Smith]

I went on a date today after work. I was really tired because I woke up at 6.30am and had a 7 hour shift. I felt sleepy on my way to the cafe. The girl, let's call her Jessie , I was meeting flaked on me twice but always try to reschedule, so I thought I might just go and see what happens. I actually feel a little weird writing this down, but I'll save the analysis and just tell it like a story.

So the mall was pretty packed and it was hard finding a parking space. She texted me 15 mins before the date that she just got a haircut and she looks different. I thought it was interesting she told me that. Anyway, I saw her sitting down on a table outside and walked towards her. My hair was a mess and I probably look tired. I wasn't also dress my sharpest, but screw it lol. She got up and hugged me. I was a little surprised by the hug. She looked gorgeous with her new haircut. I could tell she spend time dressing up for this. Her hair is nicely done and her style is sexy. Lately I've been paying attention to the little things women do to make themselves noticeable, and it's making me appreciate beauty more.

I asked her if she wanted anything to drink and she said no. I told her I might just get a hot chocolate, then I scanned through the menu again. She teasingly point me towards the counter, and I went up the counter and ordered my drink. I didn't react to her tease and looking back I was too tired and didn't think too much about it. She asked me where should we go sit. I calmly looked around and picked a place where we can sit side by side. We sat down, and I told her "you look great". she started giggling. She seems to be very excited and clearly don't do this often I guess. Then we started talking and she giggled in the beginning whenever I paused. One of her parents have been divorced twice and is now engaged again. I'm not sure what to make of that, and thought that was interesting and cool that she has so 2 sets of parents. She seems to have pretty good self-esteem and respond well to compliments. I always thought kids who have their parents split up might have low self-esteem issue. Anyway, I was occasionally touching her, and laid back on my seat just listening to her talk. Occasionally I would lean in to make a point and pauses during the conversation. I've learned to just position myself close to her and in that way I'm touching her without actually touching her...it's sexier. So my knee was touching her thigh and I think she could feel it too because she looked down at my knee once. As we got to know each other, she asked me which book I read. I told her fifty shades of grey, and she laughed. I asked her if she's a romantic person. She said she's not sure and asked me the same question. I told her I can be romantic if I want to. I asked her what's the most romantic thing anyone has even done for her, and she told me nothing. I told that's sad in a very genuine way. She asked me the same question. I told her what one of my ex did on valentine's day and she thought that was sweet. Then the conversation moved onto romantic fantasy.
Me: "so what's your romantic fantasy?"
Her: "hm....I would imagine go hiking on a snowy mountain and sleep in a tent"
Me: "so you want to make your own little fire...in your own little tent ...and make love in there" I think I said something along these line. Her eyes light up
Her: "haha what? what are you hinting at?"
Me: "haha I'm not even sure what I'm hinting at"
Then she asked me back.
Me: "I would imagine....meeting a stranger on a long train ride....in Europe"
Her: "haha in europe.."
Me: "but I have to got off early and I asked her to join me" (I borrow this fantasy from the movie "Before sunrise")
Her: "I think you've read too much romantic novels"
Me: "Hmmm. I don't know....I feel like romance is lost these days"
Her: "hmm"
Me: "now the hook-up culture is popular"
Her" haha what?"
Me: "nothing... You're too young" I smirked
Her: " haha hey I am not too young"
At one point during the conversation, I think my touch was a little too abrupt and she suddenly said "don't touch me". I didn't let it bother me and didn't really see it as a failure. I was simply following my instinct and maybe the execution wasn't smooth but it was the best I could've done at that moment....and it was. You'll see why. So after she said that, I think my brain barely registered what she said and just kept talking. Frankly, I'm too tired to care. I know she has to work later, but I tried to figure out her living situation. Right now, she's living alone, but I think that will change soon because she said she's moving to her grandmother's. Then she asked me, "so what do you want to do now?"
I was stuck, because I didn't plan on doing anything else..and I was really tired.
Me: "You know what? I'm really tired and would rather just relax"
Her: "haha oh come on"
I paused, and remember there's like an arcade place next to the cafe.
Me: "Have you been to XX?"
Her: "yea, but that was like 3 years ago."
Me: "I haven't been there for...5-6 years"
Her: "oh really?"
Me: "Yea I forgot how it works there. you need like a card or something right?"
Her: "Yea"
Me: "Do you have their card?"
Her: "haha no"
Me: "well I guess we could just buy one..let's go"
Her: "ok"

So we went there and bought a $10 card. I picked the games we played. The first one was like a shooting game in a dark booth. I touched her thigh briefly after the game finished when we were talking and she looked down at it. The second one was a weird one, where we just sit there and experience some kind of 4D movie shit. I thought that was lame lol. After that game, I noticed she's standing closer to me and her body is touching my arm, which felt good. Then the 3rd one we just played the machine where you try to pick a doll, and I failed miserably lol. She tried to comfort me.

We walked out of the arcade. The weather was amazing. A nice summer afternoon.
Her: "so where are we going?"
Me: "let's take a walk"
Her: "ok"
Our hands were brushing past each other as we walked, so I just went for the handholding. I was calm in that moment, and she held onto my hand tightly. We were walking like a couple. There was a botanic garden nearby, so I lead her there. On the way there, we walked past a nice neighbourhood and started role-playing about which house we would live in. I have only been to this botanic garden a couple of times and didn't know what I was going to do there. As we arrived, there was a farmer's market going on.

I lead her through the crowd, and we walked to the backyard. She looked at the time. She told me she has to go at 5.15pm, but it's now 5.10pm.
Her: "I can stay for a little longer and I'm sure my boss won't mind"
Then we walked into the actual botanic garden, where you have to go through a double gate. It's pretty isolated. We were still holding hands. The conversation lead to music. I asked her if she sings and tried to get her to sing. Then an idea came into my mind.
Me: "do you dance?"
Her: "haha no no"
I pulled her in, and she leaned into me. We kissed briefly, until we heard people talking and walking. She pulled away and laughed. She was a little embarrassed. It felt exciting getting caught like that. Then we kept walking holding hands. Then I decided to walk back. On the way back, we saw a cute little kid, and she said she likes to have kids.
Me: "are we having this conversation already?"
Her: "haha yes! how many kids would you like?"
Me: "I don't mind"
Her: "you don't mind?"
Me: "yea but definitely not now." I sensed I was taking the conversation too logically and switch it up.
Me: "so you want to have your little Jessie one day"
Her: "haha oh stop"
We started talking about our childhood on our way back, and walked through the same neighborhood again. We role-played a bit more. I think my brain was starting to realize I can't believe this girl likes me, and started to self-sabotage. Realizing this, I started to take deep breath and told myself to relax. Focus on what you want, i.e. sharing my desire for her . Not what you don't want, i.e. rejection, failure. So we walked back to the mall and to her car. She told me to not judge her car, but I teased her "oh I'm judging you so hard right now". At the car, she giggled again. I'm not sure how to say goodbye at this point either. She kissed me goodbye several times. Just light pecks on the lips. I didn't want to get into full makeout yet.
Me: "you taste good"
Her: "really? that's good"
Me: "let's do dinner next time"
Her: "ok"
Then as she got into her car. I didn't want to wait around for her to back her car out because that feels awkward, so I thought I would walk away first.
Me: "well I'm going this way...see ya"
Her: "see ya" she smiles
I didn't expect this date to go like this, and honestly I didn't do much. I think the conversation on romance felt genuine. Maybe girls do crave romance more than sex. I used to do a lot of sex talk, but this time I didn't and instead just focused on getting to know each other while being sexual naturally.
After the date finished, I didn't really feel anything. I was back to my neutral peaceful mood. I guess that's good. I'm not sure if I should text her tomorrow to tell her I had a great time. Maybe I should text her just to prevent auto-rejection, since we did kiss. When a girl is this into you, you should be warm, not cold. Too bad christmas is in a few days and I'm not sure if I could get her out again during the weekend because she told me she has family plans.

 

[Sophisticated Gent]

Nice report and good date. You did a good job with the touching and conversation. It worries me a little with the romance and having children talk that she is seeing you as a boyfriend. I would recommend dinner at your or her place for the next date. Keep up the good work.

SGent

 

[Smith]

Thanks for the feedback man. This date makes me realize I've been over gaming a little in the past. The romance is simply what I screen for in girls. I realize u can still talk about it even if you're her lover. It's what makes the seduction interesting to me. And the children thing was probably a joke Haha I wouldn't worry about it... Yet lol. She doesn't seem like the crazy type.
I'll probably offer to cook at her place next time, since I did talk about it on the date.

 

[Smith]

I went on a second date with the girl from last week, who rejected handholding a lot of times. She texted me first this week but is pretty cold at setting up dates. When we met up to watch Spectre, she seemed quite excited to see me. I think logistics is really killing me now. I don't have a place to pull home and I can't propose to cook at my place because my family is there....Otherwise, things could probably be easier. Anyway we were going to grab some food first, but we both weren't hungry, so we had some time to kill. I bought the movie tickets and she bought me drinks. We walked around the mall, and I lead her to the skateboard section. We fooled around a little bit there and touching is natural. Then I started to hold her hand. This time she reciprocated.

Then we walked to the cinema and sat on our seats. She was showing me some pictures on her phone. At that moment, I felt like kissing her. But I felt like I have to lean forward too much to kiss her. The seat was pretty big. And she stopped reciprocating my touch. So I just chilled out and enjoyed the movie. ( on second thought...I should've kissed her even though the seat was pretty big. I think our mind make up clever excuses as to why not to pull the trigger. It's like Tyler says "you have to go for what you want. Not what you don't want." From now on, my intent will be really clear and not put any brakes. It's either "I want to kiss her" or "I don't want to kiss her". No wishy-washy thoughts like "I want to kiss her...but..". Anything that follows are you putting the brakes on. ) I have to say...going to watch a movie was a bad idea. I'm not going to do it again lol. I enjoyed the movie, but it felt weird trying to escalate because of the seats. I put my hand on her hand during the movie, but because she wasn't reciprocating, I moved away. After the movie ended, she had to catch the last bus home. I should've seen this coming. So I decided to walk her to the bus stop. On the way to the bus stop, I got the conversation going again. I put my palm out as we were walking , and she put her hand firmly into mine, which was a good sign. We waited at the bus stop for about 20 minutes. We touched on kissing when we were talking about kissing really short people. It didn't feel right to kiss her right there. I know her bus is about to arrive, and I've learned from past experience that forcing an escalation at the end of the date just to get some sort of outcome and not from an intent of pure desire could be detrimental. It's outcome dependent and validation seeking if you think about it. Anyway, a couple of minutes before the bus arrived, I lead her forward and her hands are now interlocking with mine, which wasn't before.

I think the main lesson I learn here is to not do a movie date until you've slept with her. I have never done multiple dates before. Usually I would've dropped her already after the first date, but I thought I'll experiment around for a bit, since this is what most people do right? But I know for sure that I don't like it lol. I'm used to moving fast. I do have to REALLY like the girl and willing to enjoy her presence in order to have the motivation to go through multiple dates lol. I'm probably in the boyfriend zone with this girl now. I don't even know where I'm going to take her next time. Maybe the casino. Not having your own place really sucks, and she's living with her relatives as well.

p.s. texted the girl from yesterday that I had a great time, and she replied that she had a good time too. All seems well. I was a little hesitant to text her, but when I put myself in her shoes, she might think I'm blowing her off. Better be safe than sorry.

 

[Sophisticated Gent]

Hey bud. I am glad to see you realized that the movie was a bad idea. Unfortunately you have probably put yourself in the bf zone. It will be tough to get out of this. The casino is just another movie type date. Your only chance to change this is to do a date where you can have sex. From your previous I believe you are in the southern hemisphere so it is summertime there. Find a place where you can have sex outdoors since you have no place of your own. A park at night can work. Take her on a picnic. I wouldn't put too much work into her. It may be best to consider her a lesson.

You have heard the saying "A bird in hand is better than two in the bush." Well with girls this can be completely wrong. The one in hand can suck up all your time and keep you from getting some bush (pussy).

Keep working. You are making excellent progress.

SGent

 

[Smith]

I did not think of picnic lol that probably would have been a better idea than movies. Yea I'll do that next time. I still haven't got a solid date process now that I'm living with my parents, but picnic could work. I'm not too invested emotionally with this girl. If it doesn't work out next time, I'll just drop her. Cheers!

 

[Smith]

Just came home from staying over at Jessie's place. We went on a date last week and it went well. So yesterday I went to her place to cook. She's moving to a new house, so there's literally nothing at her place. I put the groceries at the kitchen, and she lead me to the "living room", which is just a mattress and a TV. She laid down, and I laid down next to her. We were just chit-chatting then I kissed her. I have to admit she kissed like a dead fish....not very good at it and she doesn't know how to kiss with her tongue, so the whole time it was just lips. It was pretty boring. Then I started escalating. I told her to take off my jackets and t shirt, then we had sex. I put on the condom and after about maybe only 20 mins? (i lost track of time). She said she's sore and she's done. She has never had sex for this long. I took that as a compliment lol. So I just let go and come 5 mins later. She said she was really tired, and it doesn't seem like she wants to talk. So we just laid there and talked sporadically. The conversation wasn't that great. Whenever I joked around, she would take it seriously, whereas girls I had been with before would joke back. When I wanted to talk about some deep stuff, she couldn't relate so I just dropped it. Maybe the chemistry is not there or maybe she's really tired lol. Then we went for two more rounds throughout the night and she asked me to stay for the night. She told me I'm really active. I think she has lower sex drive than me, but the next morning, I just couldn't get hard again. And she was dry as well, which makes it even harder to put it in. So every time I tried to put it in and failed, my dick just goes soft. I also wasn't aroused enough to put on a condom. She was also reluctant to give me a blow job, and when she did she was terrible at it. Her teeth hurts my dick lol. So after failing a couple of times in the morning, I just fingered her, which also made her sore. I was hoping for morning sex, but fuck it, I don't plan on seeing her again. I'm leaving for a 4 week trip next week. Overall, the sex wasn't that great from my point of view, i.e the kissing sucked, the blowjob is terrible. The only upside is her body is good, her boobs are huge and it felt good, but that still wasn't enough to turn me on the next morning. I have had much better sex before. I was pretty disappointed with the sex, even though this girl is really cute. I guess what they say is true..hot girls don't know how to fuck...lol jokes. She is just inexperienced. I can't blame her. I asked her how many guys she's slept with, she slept 4 or 5. Also she told me she's more stimulated by her clit than penetration. I tried to rub her clit, but it just wasn't arousing her as well, so I guess that's something I could improve in the future. It was a good experience to have. Now I'm wondering if having sex with hot girls just for the sake of sex is really worth it?

 

[Smith]

I had a chat with TonySolo from the Natural LIfestyle yesterday on the phone. He was trying to understand my situation right now in order to make our session in Feb most effective. So I told him about my long term goal of getting a gf who won't drag me down. We talked about the kind of women I want in my life, but to be honest, I only have a vague idea so I couldn't explain it to him clearly. I told him I want a girl who has a soothing energy at the end of the day when I just had an intense day. He pointed out that feminine energy is chaotic and I would still need to deal with some drama, which I'm okay with. He suggested that I shouldn't get into a committed relationship at least with the next three girls so I could taste all the flavours of feminine energy. We joked about how sometimes after sex, men would start to realize this girl is not the right girl lol. He asked a lot of good questions that put a lot of pressure on me, which is good. For example, he asked me what qualities in women are you looking for and what does that mean for you? I have never thought about what it means for me, and digging deeper helped me appreciate women more, which he later point out is why I'm stuck at my current level.

I told him about my recent flakey situation with girls who I thought had a great interaction, and he told me that my problem was I didn't make strong enough emotional impact on the girl. So I'm guessing good vibe doesn't equal to strong connection. I felt a bit nervous talking to him about my sticking point, but he was pretty chill and understanding. He suggested we did role-play and he immediately pointed out where my problem was. I was mind-blown because he was spot on and everything makes sense now. My problem was I wasn't appreciating women enough and I was relating too quickly. So he suggested I go back to my intention and appreciate who the girl is as a woman because that's what women desire the most. He told me about the three levels of appreciation when it comes to women. First level is her beauty and the second level is who she is as a woman. He wouldn't tell me the third level yet lol but I guess it's for a good reason.
Then we tried to role-play again, but this time I have to appreciate who she is first and then relate later. It was really hard at first, because I don't know what to appreciate and I was filtering myself. He told me to go unfiltered and just tell her the 'truth' of how I feel about her. It can't be as simple as "oh that's cool! You're very adventurous". It has to be something coming from the heart and genuine, and basically tell her about herself, like the way she was talking about her passion was really inspiring..etc. He emphasizes on the importance of following your instinct and being unfiltered. He caught me holding back a couple of times and encouraged me to say what I really wanted to say during the role-play. It was powerful stuff because I never knew what I have to say could be meaningful and powerful. He also told me to NEVER let the girl off the hook when you feel like her answer is not good enough. Challenge her answer but at the same time understand that you're putting her on the spot. Sometimes a girl will say "I don't know..." because they're thinking. Just give them a little more time, like 3 seconds. Then after you've told them what you appreciate about them, you can either relate back or just pause and hold eye contact. He told me it's important to let her know how you feel about her. Many times you might be cut off by her if she ask you a question back, but just tell her quickly what you like about her then answer her questions. Calibration is also important when she gives you a long answer, because it means your appreciation needs to match that as well.
When I'm relating, I also need to relate back to how I feel about the topic and not just on the fact. This is something I have noticed myself, but it was good that he mentioned it again.

Anyway, we talked for over an hour on the phone and so far I'm glad I decided to take coaching from him even though it's only three hours. He was really helpful and told me he could've just not give a fuck because it was only three hours, but he's going to give us extra time on the day to talk about how my progress in the next month then start the session. I'm excited about our coaching session in Feb. The main thing I need to work on for the next month before our session is : "let her know the 'truth' of how I feel about her". He told me once you start to appreciate women on that level, you'll gain a lot of insights.

Right after we finished talking on the phone. I realized I was a little late to the phone session I was suppose to have with the girl from Singapore. I immediately implemented his advice and we ended up talking for 3 1/2 hours on the phone. It was amazing. I highly recommend you guys to check out his youtube channel as well https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWkPItARNrEWXKFv6BQphhg

 

[Smith]

Today's my last day in my hometown then I'm off to Cambodia for two weeks tomorrow. I'm proud I still went out and daygame in the afternoon. A question I ask myself now is this "which path will give me the best memories?", and going out is definitely going to create better memories than sitting at home playing video games.

So I got to the mall. First interaction was pretty good in the way I initially opened her. I got warm response, then for some reason she couldn't hear me twice and that completely ruined the vibe. She gave me short and cold answers that I couldn't work with. So I just walked slower than her and let the interaction died down, then when she's about 5 meters in front of me she suddenly turned her head around and said "it was nice meeting you". I laughed because damn girl why you make it even more awkward, and told her it was nice meeting her as well. I'm glad I didn't hesitate to talk to her.

Then there's a couple more interactions that the vibe was just ok. I hesitated a few times and regretted it because the girl walked into a store before I got to her. Today I focused on what Tony was telling me last time, and it was a bit hard at first s I sometimes get stuck in my head trying to think of impressive things to say when I should just say what I truly feel about her and trust that it is good enough because it comes from my core. It's funny how the more you think about what you're going to say, the more it comes across as not good enough, then the end result is a self-fulfilling prophecy. It reminds me of something I read the other day "Be ok with rejection as long as she's rejecting the real you." Then I stopped this girl who was walking very slow. I could tell that she's probably a tourist and I was right. We started talking while we're walking. The vibe was good. I was appreciating her. Then she wanted to get coffee. I probably should've asked her first because it seemed like I was tagging alone, but oh well, it worked out. We sat down and started to get to know each other. Then after talking for a while, my instinct told me to go for a walk, but she suggested it before I did. So I took her to this botanic garden around the mall. On the way there, I started holding her hand and joked that "Oh I'm a romantic", and she said "oh well it's just for one day right?". As we walked around, she asked me if I do this a lot. I just told her I liked to talk to people. I hate it when girls ask me this question, because it doesn't matter what I say, they know I do this a lot. Anyway, the energy was getting lower as we walk and my instinct tells me now is the time to escalate. Looking back, I should've kissed her earlier because when we sat down on a bench.
I asked her...
Me: "so what's the story with that ring?"
Her: "do you really want to know?"
Me: "yea I'm curious.."
Her: "it's from my bf"
Me: *I raised my eyebrow "your current bf?"
Her: "yes"
I paused and leaned in to kiss her. She moved her head away
Her: "and now I can't kiss you because I told you"
I laughed.
I told her no one's going to know, but she told me she doesn't want to hurt him. She asked me if I was looking for a one night stand. I paused and said I was looking for something memorable. She said this can be a friendly memorable experience. Then I tried to sell her on the idea of quick romance but respect her decision to not betray her principle. Then I started talking about something else knowing that keep arguing with her wouldn't work. Then we got up, I pulled her closer to me but she resisted and said "maybe we'll have a last kiss later". I laughed because it was absurd. She clearly liked me. We started walking back to the mall. On the way there, the vibe becomes fun again. Then we arrived at the mall entrance and we both know this was it. She put her arms out and wanted to give me a hug. So we hugged and I hold onto her while looking at her lips. She moved in and we kissed briefly. Then we both let go and she said "it was nice meeting you".

After that, I went back to the mall and all the stores were about to close. There was this woman walking in front of me. She has a nice body, so I walked next to her.
Me: "excuse me" waved hello to her.
She looked at me then looked straight ahead. Seemed pretty stand-offish
Me: "are you in a rush?"
Her: "yea why?"
I smiled
Me: "I just thought you look pretty"
She finally smiled
Her: "oh thank you!"
Me: "Yea have a nice day" I walked away because she was about to go on an escalator.
Her: "Yea thanks!"
Then there was another cutie standing outside a hair salon. I should've talked to her, but I'm not going to beat myself up for this lol Stay positive!

Then I was feeling a little down after coming home today until I stumbled upon this video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BBzFT-lsChY) by Julien, and it changed my perspectives. Why the hell am I upset for? I kissed a girl today, and one year ago I would be extremely happy with this. Julien was right about how we view successes. We view them like "meh that's what was suppose to happen" and we focus on and exaggerate our failures, like the girls I didn't approach. Was it really that bad I didn't talk to them? Do I have to judge my success and failures based on social interactions? (which reminds me of a Mark Manson article that was posted on the forum a few days ago) It's not good for anyone's self-esteem. Anyway, today was a success, I left my house and it did create a good memory =)

 

[Smith]

Edit: Now I think about it, there must be a small part of me that cares about the outcome. My intention is giving love/value, and when I'm not clear in my intent and it's mixed with all other bs, I start to hesitate.

 

[Smith]

I've been busy volunteering in Cambodia for the past week. We went to a school to help out the kids and one of the high school girls there has a crush on me. Initially I was just making small talk because I was treating her teeth but after our clinic finished, she pulled me to the side to talk more and gave me a goodbye gift. I was flattered but didn't feel like I had done anything to deserve it and the connection wasn't that great. I guess that must be how beautiful women get treated by nice guys everyday. They don't appreciate her as a woman. On the bright side, I should give myself credit too because I must have done something right to attract. It could have been my fundamentals or I'm getting better at appreciating women's internal beauty and I'm making stronger emotional impact.

I did some touring today with my friends since we got the weekend off. I talked to a beautiful girl at the killing field today. It's not exactly the perfect place to pick up girls because the vibe was sad but I had to do it. She was sitting on a bench alone and looked my way a couple of times. I walked towards her and said hi. She immediately moved over for me to sit down. I can't remember what I said afterwards but we started talking. I asked her how she feels about the whole place and found out she's born and raised from Denmark even though she's Chinese. Then I compliment on her style and told her it was different from what most people wear here. I felt like I needed good reaction for my compliment because my voice for quieter. I will improve that next time and come from a giving place. The conversation was OK because I haven't been talking to girls that much at all last week except at the airport. I was trying to appreciate her but today I felt like I need to stop thinking about it during an interaction because it's putting me in my head. Anyway, around the end of the interaction, I told her we should stay in touch and she offered to exchange fb. I told her she seems like a friendly , social and adventurous girl and she smiled genuinely without the hot girl blase. Looking back I shud have asked her out since we we're both traveling and time is not on our side.

I still feel like I'm still not getting to know the girl's internal beauty on a deeper level. Anyway, it was a good interaction. She accepted my friend request. Will see what happen.

 

[Smith]

TonySolo coaching

I had coaching with TonySolo from the Natural Lifestyle last week in Melbourne, which was a lot of fun (also met up with Ray and PrettyDecent). It was only a 3 hours session, so a lot of things were crammed in. I also had a instant-date during the coaching, which took up almost an hour of the session.

Tony is exactly what you expect if you watch his youtube video. He's pretty chill, fun and knows a lot about the feminine and the masculine. We met up outside the state library. He gave me a hug immediately and we started talking about my sticking point. He first went through the fundamentals - eye contact, body language and voice. He showed me the difference between a laser (but relaxed) eye contact and a shifty eye contact while you were walking up to a girl. The difference is day and night. The first one you can tell why he's coming here to talk to you before he even speaks a word. The second one you're not sure what he wants. Then he told me to breath deeply as I'm walking up to a girl. A man loses himself when he loses his breath. And focus on the girl...her body language, the way she walks, her beauty...etc.

Then he told me to pause for 2 seconds after or before I deliver my compliment and told me to do it to a girl sitting on a bench nearby. So it looked like this..
ME: "Hello"
Her:" Hello"
Me: "I saw you over here....."
pause for 2 seconds maintaining eye contact.
Me: "and you look absolutely amazing!"
She looked relieved and happy.

At first I couldn't hold the pressure for 2 seconds, which felt like eternity! But I'm starting to get use to it.
He then did an approach to show me how long I can pause. It was probably the weirdest conversation I have ever heard, because he was over doing the pauses to show me what I can get away with, but you get the point lol.

Then we started to approach girls walking. He told me I need more conviction when I'm trying to stop girls walking (in other words grow some balls! unclarity is icky), but it needs to be calibrated. A girl walking fast, you need to have more masculine energy behind your words and you need to be clear that you WANT her to stop..and if a girl is walking slow, you can tone down your voice so you don't scare the hell out of her. And anything other than a pleasant reaction..call it out!! Say something like "sorry didn't mean to surprise you" but you're remaining unreactive. Because if you freak out as well, then it's not going to go well. This little tweak has actually helped me a lot in engaging girls initially, which actually led me to getting laid the day after the coaching.

Also during the conversation, be present and noticed the subcommunication behind a girl's words. For example, when she's telling you about what she loves to do, notice her tonality and eye contact, then you can choose which topic she's actually passionate about. That's how you create emotional impact during a conversation.

The next thing we worked on was unfilterness. He noticed that I wasn't expressive enough during interactions, and told me that you shouldn't be identified with low energy game because even if you're high energy, you would still act very low energy. He recommended me to do something creative and artistic that will get me to be more expressive. I'm thinking about taking up dancing or painting this year when uni starts in a couple of weeks. So for the next 3 girls, he wanted me to focus on what I want to say and do what I want to do. And if he sensed that I was even a little bit of unfiltered, he would told me to do it again. The first girl wore a sexy top with a long skirt. She was flattered. I walked with her for a bit and found out she had a bf so I left her. Tony told me to go back and get her number. The girl turned around and saw us haha I wonder what she was thinking. I ran back and told her "Hey my friend thinks we should exchange numbers" She laughed and Tony came in. We chat a little and left. Then we did an exercise where he was standing about 15 meters away on a busy street and we have to talk. He wanted me to project my voice more and being unfiltered. We started talking about sex and people were looking at us weird. He told me to be present and have clarity, so my eyes can't be shifting away from his. It was a tough exercise. After that, he immediately pointed out two girls walking together and one girl had an amazing ass.
"Go tell her she has an amazing ass" he said
I laughed and ran in front of them. "grow some balls" he was yelling behind me.
So I did everything he told me to do before. Stop them, pause, breath deeply, then deliver my compliment with clear intent. The girls were really turned on and a little offended at the same time, so I calibrate and told them "haha I know this is very forward"
I felt amazing after that interaction. Girls want to be desired with clarity. Any unclarity is icky. Conviction is so important.

The next girl he told me to go talk to, I actually went on an instant date with her. I was just about to get her number and get back to coaching, but Tony called me and told me to get drinks with her. I had a mic on me, so he was listening to my interaction. To cut the story short, Tony texted me during the date to move her to the Federation Square then I can try to hold her hand there. On the way there, the conversation was flowing so I tried to hold her hand but she moved away. haha no big deal. Once we arrived, we sat on the stairs. Tony called me again to move her to a grassy area behind. I actually had no idea where that is lol but the girl said she has to go check into her hotel at 3pm. She asked for my fb and asked for my plan later that night. I told her I'm meeting up with a friend for drinks. She said she would love to come. I sensed that I might be friendzoned with this one because she just moved to Melbourne and has no friends. I told her sure I'll let her know.

Tony gave me some feedback on the date. He said I can start touching the girl as soon as she's comfortable. "Can you see that if you keep sitting there and only talk to her...you're going to be friendzoned?" I told her about my attempt to hold her hand, and he said that's good because now she knows that's what you want. I took that lesson to heart. Then he showed me ways I can touch a girl.
1. when you're walking with a girl... hold up your own space. Let her bump into you. If she keeps brushing your arm, then you can naturally start holding her hand.
2. you can also start touching her before you talk to her, but it has to be from the side, so your hand is positioned in a way on her shoulder that she can tell you're next to her. Then you adapt your hand to the shape of her body/shoulder. I practiced on Tony a couple of times. I'm not surprised if people thought we were gay lol.

At the end of the session, I asked him about sex talk, and he said just talk about it like you're asking for direction, e.g. "so what do you think makes good sex?" He told me to read The Way of the Superior man again, because now I would have a different understanding of it. Tony is also very observant and socially aware. There were things he noticed about the girls that I didn't even register. Overall, I feel like the coaching definitely helped a lot. I mean it's not the first time I've heard about being unfiltered...etc. You read about it, but it's different when someone's there to show you how it's done and push you.

Anyway, that night I didn't end up going on a date with the blondie from the coaching session. I ended up going on another instant date. The lesson from that date was I didn't pull away from handholding and gave her some space. Then the next night was probably one of the most important night in my life because I actually learned about persistence. The girl was pretty resistance to any handholding in the beginning and the conversation wasn't flowing. Just some teasing and banter here and there. But for some reason, she started to open up. I think it's because I persisted in a playful way that got her laughing every time and I focused on Tony's teaching the previous day. At the end of the night, I felt that this was breakthrough, because I have faced similar things in the past but always give up a little too early or just didn't know how to move things forward.

Anyway, I think I went on 1-2 instant dates everyday in Melbourne, and in Singapore I faced a lot of drama from the girl I was seeing. She feels like she was being judged by her friends for coming to meet me, and tried to friendzoned me. However, I just let go and told her what I feel about the situation, e.g. angry, sad and I wished she had the courage to do what she wants. I hope she becomes the best version of herself one day. Then strangely, she came back and we had amazing 2 nights together. I also had an amazing instant date in singapore with a japanese girl. She was holding my hand tightly in the end and I kissed her when we were walking. It surprised her little, but looking back I probably could've saved that kiss for when we get back to my hotel. Because right after that, I told her I need to use the toilet, and when I came back, she said she has to go back to her hostel because she's tired. I think the anti-slut mentality kicked in for her because we both knew this was going to be a one-night thing. I guess my attainability was too low. It was sad to let her go. Anyway, my girl wanted to see me that night too, so it wasn't all that sad

In conclusion, I'm glad I went on this trip. It was great meeting Ray and PrettyDecent. Even though I feel pretty tired from traveling, I'm definitely going to miss the people I met along the way and the amazing food in Singapore.

 

[Smith]

Hey guys,

I have decided to start a blog, as a way to make myself take action while doing something creative. Hope you enjoy it!
https://themasculineessence.wordpress.com/2016/02/19/do-you-find-women-confusing/

 

[BarryS1]

Awesome idea of the blog and really like the first entry. I'm definitely subscribed!

 

[Smith]

Sup guys, Haven't been on here for a while. Thought I'll post an amazing date I had today. I'll keep the actual date short and focus on principles. I just bought Tyler's hotseat @ home yesterday. It has a 30 days money back guarantee, so I thought I'll give it a shot, because I'm always amazed at how he interacts with girls. Anyway, I watched it yesterday - a 4 hours video on core principle and a 15 mins infield breakdown. He gives you weekly missions and there's going to be "tons of infield" coming up in week 7 apparently. I applied his exercise and principles today when I'm on the date. One thing that stood out for me is his principle of "staying in your own lane" and not reacting and also the "collaborative frame". Both of them really removed a lot of my barriers to expressing myself. Anyway, as I was on my way to the date, I talked to another girl who was walking in the same direction. My "opener" is so easy these days, it doesn't even look like game. It's just "hey" and a smile, and I'm in. I chatted with her for a bit and grabbed her number. It wasn't the smoothest because I was looking around checking if my date has arrived. Anyway, it was fun talking to her. I applied the principle of detaching emotion from the content of the conversation. so I'll try to generate emotion when I'm talking about pretty normal and random stuff.

I went inside the cafe and found my date sitting at a table. (one more thing I like about the hotseat @home is the tribe and the phone app, whenever you feel unmotivated, just go on the app, it'll change your perspective. Tyler's sometimes on there as well. I actually asked a question before the date regarding escalation and got a good response from another guy, who told me to just share the fun and escalate after the date) I greeted her with great energy and sit down. Talked to her for a bit then got up and order my coffee. The conversation was flowing. What I did right was the free association exercise Tyler told us to do. His free association exercise is very different to what others are teaching. It's mean to disrupt the logical thought pattern and you "create and stay in your own lane" basically. I noticed her giving me bedroom eyes, and she seemed quite nervous playing with her necklace. I pointed that out and she admitted that she's nervous because she doesn't do this often. Sometimes, I'll just pause and share the energy with her. One more thing about pausing is that you should be pausing from the frame of sharing rather from the frame of getting her to react. And I think I did that well here, because she would start laughing when I pause. Tyler's "I'm in your head" exercise was also great too. It trains you to have clear intent and makes you realize you are part of the herd, so your energy is not stifled and it's coming (or cumming) out. Anyway, once we finished our coffee, it was natural for us to move, so I suggested we go for a walk. It's funny I didn't even think about escalating when we were both sitting down talking. I was just purely enjoying the moment. I need to remember that feeling for next time. As we were walking, she talked about going to a therapist so her hands doesn't shake (she wants to be a surgeon). I told her to give me her hand so I could feel it then I just hold her hand and she reciprocated. She laughed and said "haha that was very smooth". I shrugged and smiled. "haha I don't know where that came from" .
Now I remember Tyler said "The girl is in this world to help you let go" . I love that phrase.
We walked towards a grass area and sit down. I started free associate again and we got into rapport. Just when I was about to tell her to come try this coconut jam back at my place, the conversation naturally lead to pulling. I told her I recently started painting, and I'm pretty embarrassed to show this to people (something I learned from RSDMax...be kind of hesitant to invite the girl home, not because you're nervous, but because you're not so sure about her yet. I also said this in a very clear and loud way, like I'm just sharing and you can tell I'm NOT actually embarrassed). Then she asked me "where is it?".
Me: "It's hiding in a dark corner under my bed haha"
I paused. Maybe she said something I can't remember lol.
Me: "wanna come see it?" I said it from a frame of sharing the fun.
Her: "yea sure"
Me: "But promise me you're not going to judge " (again the not-so-sure-about-her frame)
Her: "yea I promise...not "
Me: "hahaha"
Then I hold her hand and lead her.

On the way back to my place, her flatmates drove past (3 guys in a car), and she let go of my hand and gave them her house key. I waved to the guy sitting at the back who's holding onto her hand for a little too long (?) when she's giving him the key. I didn't let this bother and remember Tyler's collaborative frame. You are part of the group. The two guys sitting at the front didn't even acknowledge me, whereas the guy at the back was smiling back. All was good. Then they left. I asked about them, and it turns out she's flatting with 4 or 5 other guys. I asked for their names (in case in the future I have to engage them). then changed the topic. (Now as I'm writing this, my ego kept thinking maybe I'll be cockblocked by that guy sitting at the back, or maybe they've already fked....hahaha insecure thoughts maybe? Note to self: remember! You have abundance! )

We walked into my flat. I introduced her to my best friend, then took her upstairs to my room. I told her to take her shoes off because I'm very asian and she cracked up laughing. She sit down at my bed. I asked her what kind of music she likes. She gave me the "I like everything", so I just put on random songs, and it got me laughing because they're just so random. One moment it's Kanye West, then it's Taylor Swift. I showed her my paintings, which I literally only started a few weeks ago because TonySolo suggested I do something artistic. Who knew I could use that to invite girls home . The first picture was a naked portrait of my ex lol. She saw it and didn't make a comment. Then when she's telling me how my paintings are cute. I moved in to kiss her and she kissed me back. I could tell she is still a little nervous, so pulled back and talked then made out again. Rinse and repeat. When I lay her down, I felt that she would tense up and not putting her hands on me as much, so I backed off. It's just keep rinse and repeat. Maybe I could've just go for her pantie, but my instinct was telling me not yet. I'm trusting my instinct these days and I'm much better at distinguishing what's my ego and what's not.
One interesting comment from her: "You are more intense than I thought." "you are very straightforward"
She also asked me why I turned around and stopped her.
Me: "well we made eye contact..." (I remember she smiled and looked down when I first saw her)
Her: "yea we did"
Me: "and I just knew" (this was true)
She smiled.
Me: "plus your dress was off-white, not creamy white...so you're ok" (I'm referring to an inside joke we made earlier)
Her: "hahaha"

However, time was running out. She has to go back to her hall and have dinner. Their dinner finish at a certain time. I didn't let that bother me, and just said "ok" and stood up and lead her to my door. I'm amazed at this outcome from freedom. I was literally feeling good already. Whether sex happened or not didn't really matter to me. She said "let's do this again". I told her "sure come try my salmon next time". I've already told her I cooked amazing salmon during the date, and she agreed. On my way downstairs, another one of my flatmate was cooking, but she wasn't the very social type and didn't make eye contact, so I didn't introduce them. She kissed me goodbye at the door again.

I was feeling amazing after this date. I had first date sex before and even though we didn't have sex I still feel amazing. It could be because this girl is both beautiful and we have great chemistry. Like seriously, sex feels good, but nothing feels better than having a great time with someone you like. This girl would usually be "out of my league" last year, even my friend said she was gorgeous. I posted this in the hotseat@home group message and Tyler congratulated me as well haha. It feels good to have him supporting you. Anyway, that's me for now!

 

[Mystique]

Hey man, I totally love your journal. You guys in the west (where pick up started) are quite lucky. You can attend pu conferences and do some live coaching. It's awesome. I can't wait to travel out of my country. That'll probably be in roughly two years time. Still long. I'm definitely gonna continue working my ass off over here. Good luck man

 

[Smith]

Mystique, glad you like my journal man =) I actually live far from the US, and I don't attend any PU conference at all. I don't even know any other people learning seduction in my town. The only live coaching I ever had is when I traveled to Melbourne and met up with TonySolo. This is also why I bought Hotseat @ home, because I know it would be another two years before I can afford to fly to the US. Keep going, you'll be so good in two years man.

 

[Mystique]

Mystique, glad you like my journal
man =) I actually live far from the US,
and I don't attend any PU conference
at all. I don't even know any other
people learning seduction in my
town. The only live coaching I ever
had is when I traveled to Melbourne
and met up with TonySolo. This is
also why I bought Hotseat @ home,
because I know it would be another
two years before I can afford to fly to
the US. Keep going, you'll be so
good in two years man.

Cheers mate! What country are you from?

 

[Smith]

What country are you from?

New Zealand mate. Land of the hobbits.


10/3/2016

So the girl from the last date suddenly gone cold for god knows why! I texted her the day after the date telling her I had a great time and got no reply. Then two days ago, I texted her again inviting her over to cook, and no reply. lol. wtf? This is so strange. Anyway, I'm moving on. Onwards and upwards.

I have to say my confidence was a little shaky the last few days. But I'm still taking action. I finished class a little early today, so walked around the campus. First girl I stopped, my voice wasn't projecting. So I took a deep breath and re-delivered my compliment and touched her arm. (clarity of intent) She was flattered. The conversation, however, was a bit shaky. I didn't speak with certainty and emotion. and I wasn't free associating as much. Then she asked me if I need a friend. I laughed and didn't know what to say. In hindsight, this was a test and I should've been clear with my intent again. My thoughts loop was "well we just met and I don't know her that well yet... oh being friends is cool I guess." I should've assume familiarity.

Anyway, I'm glad I took action. Just start building social momentum.

The next interaction was better. My intent was clear and there was no wishy-washiness. I could tell she was flattered/attracted, but not comfortable. I definitely spoke with certainty and emotion, although that's just from my own point of view. There's probably still room for improvement. Then when I invited her out for coffee, she said she wasn't comfortable giving out her number, even though it was a reasonably good interaction with good emotion. Maybe comfort was the problem here. Get her talk more about herself.

Then I went on an instant date with the next girl. I saw her waiting for someone, and engaged her. Intent was clear. I went all in. She was attracted. It turned out I knew her brother lol and we went to the same high school, although I'm much older than her because she just started uni. We stood there and talked for maybe about 15 mins before I invited her for a walk. I should move faster next time though. And I probably should've invited her for a coffee instead of going for a walk, because it didn't feel right start escalating and hold her hand when we walk. Anyway, we walked around for about 20 mins and came back to the same spot and sit down because she had a lab soon, so no point inviting her home. Once we sit down, the chemistry started to build. That's why I think we should have sit down and talk first to build some chemistry before going for a walk. We talked about some sexy topics, like first kiss and some sexual innuendo. I was completely focusing on having fun and giving her a good time. Then we exchanged number and I seeded some ideas for future meet ups. There were moments in the interaction where I should've stayed in my own lane more instead of reacting to her. We talked for a bit more then I got up because I knew she had to go soon. We walked for a bit more. I wanted to hold her hand here, but my intent wasn't clear and I hesitated. Always be promotional oriented and focus on what you want to do. Once we were outside, the weather was very windy and cold, so her hands were in her pocket, which wouldn't make the escalation smooth.
Then we said goodbye.

Once I got home, I watched Tyler breaking down an infield again. I've seen it before, but for some reason I felt like watching it again and something clicked with me. Tyler was talking about being smooth when you escalate and don't be clunky. Provide a fun conversation while you escalate, so it's smooth. So that's why the girl from the last date said I was smooth when I went for the handholding, because I was engaging her in a fun conversation at the same time. Can't believe I missed that lol. Understand it from girl's perspective and make it smooth. Anyway, that's me for today.