Another somewhat successful night in the books!
It began with the familiar story - I’m exhausted from work, left the house later than I wanted to, not in a social mood at all. Still, got to the party district earlier than yesterday, found parking relatively quick, and I consciously walked tall and confident.
Made four approaches tonight, no kisses or numbers, but I stretched the hell out of my comfort zone and learned a ton.
The original plan was to check out the new venue in town, but as the weather today was *finally* perfect I decided it would be a great night to go to saloon bar. Giant rooftop patio, live music for a change, and I knew there would be an insane amount of lovely women there. Also, this place has proved to be the hardest/most approach-anxiety-inducing venue I’ve ever been to, and it was time to slay the dragon.
My first approach was actually outside the bar waiting at a stoplight. A group of guys and girls (although the guys appeared gay, which made it somewhat less intimidating) were standing next to me. Went with a simple “hi” once I made eye contact with one girl, who immediately told me I looked like a famous actor. I get it from time to time. Told her I’d take that as a compliment, then put my arm on her shoulder and said “make sure to check out my next movie in theaters this Friday” to which I got a laugh from the group. They turned left, I went straight.
Next “approach” was in the venue - a cute, short brunette. She was walking opposite direction as me. We made eye contact and I smiled and said “hi”. She said hi back and gave my arm a little squeeze, but kept walking with her friends.
From here it gets more interesting…
There is a group of six girls near me on the patio (it’s PACKED to the gills), and one is dancing terribly. I look at her with a coy smile and say “I like your moves”. She says “give me your best dance move”… might as well kill me now, I can’t dance to save my life. I shake my body a little bit and tell say “I’m basically a professional dancer, can’t you tell?” she laughs a bit, at this point a couple of her friends have turned to us to see what’s going on, so I say hi to them. We all talk a bit, find out one of them is visiting from Europe and met the others when on an exchange-student program. We name exchange, then the original girl asks her other friend what her best dance move is.
This other friend was jaw-droppingly gorgeous. Perfect teeth, beautiful long brown hair, and oozing confidence. This is the type of girl I want. She looks at her friend, then looks at me, and I looked in her eyes and gave her an expression of “give it a go!” It’s crazy how much can be communicated non-verbally. She busted out a little dance move, with her whole body, so sensual, then flipped her hair back and knocked her friend’s phone clear out of her hand. She looked shocked, and I could not stop laughing.
I said to her “you automatically win the contest”. We bantered for a bit, then I moved her away from the group ever so slightly so we could talk one-on-one. We asked my name, told me she was there for multiple birthday parties, we talked for a few minutes then she told me I looked like a *different* famous actor. My outfit and confidence must have been on point tonight! She was definitely the sober one of the group, but her drunk friends kept pulling her away, and she kept coming back to talk to me. Occasionally they would talk to me too. However after about the third interruption she got fully engaged in that conversation and I found myself just standing there awkwardly.
I went up to her, put my arm around her and said “Lexi, I’m going back inside, but it was so nice meeting you. I hope I see you again later”. I figured I could reopen her as the night was still somewhat young. However, this plan always fails me, as I never saw her again. Should have gone for the fucking number… I bet she would have given it to me. She was wife material, and I kinda blew it. Lesson learned.
Next approach was a group of three, and by now I’m feeling the “saloon” vibe, so I open with a simple “howdy”
this group has a strange dynamic - two of them were in their early 20s and one must have been late 30s, all dressed very differently. The older one asked if I was a swinger because I had pineapples on my shirt. Her friend started arguing with her saying it was flamingoes that meant swinger, not pineapples. I played along with it and we had a fun conversation, but the quiet friend was the cutest one, so I turned to her and we started talking about breakfast food. Super random. We joked about how hot and sweaty it was inside and how some of the other patrons didn’t smell so great. Then of them got a phone call and they all left.
Takeaways from tonight:
I finally approached groups of attractive women at the saloon bar, and had fun! While I am proud of myself for doing it, the group dynamic is a whole new ballgame, and it is going to take a lot of work to get good at it.
The good news is I will have endless opportunities to practice this summer. I’ve found a gold mine of hot women. The bad news is that groups of girls seem far more energetic and distracted than the solo girls I usually approach, and I will really need to solidify my game to get results. In hindsight, I should have asked more interesting questions, made bolder statements, and worked to isolate the girl I was interested in.
Also, I’m learning that my approach anxiety does not go away, even after a successful approach. There were a dozen other opportunities I didn’t go for because I got in my head and froze up. I am going to have to fight through this, and dammit I will win. I’ve gotten over most of my fears in life, and even if this one never goes away, I must force myself to deal with it and push through.
Hoping I have the energy to go out and do some daytime approaches tomorrow. Bed is calling my name…
Cheers,
JT
I played it safe and now I’m thinking more about an exit strategy. 
I've been hanging with my Ex-Ex again myself. I've been juggling a lot of major life changes lately, plus the uncertainty with Limerance Girl, so having a steady source for Vitamin V (Vagina) has been helpful for managing my neediness.
