Interesting weekend. Was at the rink all Friday, I was free of damn near all work commitments until Monday, so I went and ran some day and night game - lots of learning, and if my skills didn't progress, at least my clarity of mind did. But let's run it back...
Two rock solid opens during the day Friday. If any of you want to practice spitting game to women in their 30s, find you some hockey moms. Both ones I opened were blonde, maybe 30-35, yoga pants hugging an ass that said "I had one kid and put on a little weight, but I still hit the gym hard". If today wasn't the last day of the program maybe I could have worked the long game and had them wanting to cheat on their husbands. Both of them had kids and large rocks on their finger, but opened right up, seemed to enjoy flirting with me, and was great warmup to the weekend.
In total I opened 9 times. I could have easily done 25 but I still have some shit to work through.
Friday night was a total freeze-up night. HOWEVER, I managed to open 5 times. This is the first time I've broken through that mental barrier at night. I think I am at the point where even if I am feeling completely stifled, in my head and antisocial, I have enough reference experience to know that I absolutely CAN approach and nothing bad is going to happen to me. None of my Friday night sets hooked, but with the mood I was in at least I opened. First three were situational openers. I don't remember exactly what I said, but girl #1 was polite but turned back to her friends shortly after my open, girl #2 completely ignored me, and girl #3 (who was by far the hottest) actually opened well and chatted for a bit but was in a hurry for her Uber.
Tried two compliment openers after - both girls were gorgeous, first one ignored me and the second said "omg thank you" but kept walking.
Today I got one semi-approach in the day. I was actually riding my bike and she was walking. Honestly I just didn't want to run her over, so I said "coming up on your left" . She had a very nice booty and when she turned around her face was nice too. So I slowed down a bit and said "hi - great night for a walk, isn't it?" She said hi back and said "yes it is". I've never opened a girl while riding a bike, so I didn't know what to do and just kept going. Fuck
Massive headache tonight and I did not want to go downtown with a bunch of drunk 20-year-olds, but I told myself that was a shit excuse and I needed to get out there. Made two approaches. This is where I did well, fucked up, and had a couple big realizations. I am SO CLOSE to busting this wide open and having some real fun.
First girl was an absolute beauty. Opened with a simple "hi" after getting great eye contact. Hooked amazingly, we talked for a solid ten minutes. Name exchange, light flirty touch, we were both drinking water and cheers'd. She invited me to meet her friends, and I went with. They were ice cold, apprehensively polite at best, and not seem to be having a good time. The friends totally locked me out and dragged the girl away. I didn't want to seem needy and follow them, so I went the other way. I knew damn well I would never see her again, and should have easily gotten the digits. More on that later.
Second girl I opened situationally as she was on her phone getting loudly frustrated with the Uber app. I told her my lost Uber story, she hooked and was very attentive, but I failed to engage the friend and the conversation died after a bit. It was late, I was tired, and called it a night.
REALIZATIONS
I found my biggest sticking points and need to actively work on them.
First, I need to stop relying on situational openers. I don't think my issue at all is opening any more. It's not opening when I can't find a logical way to do so. If I can come up with a good, generic open for a girl who is simply just standing there, and stack forward, I'll be money. The options are limitless, but a lot of the time the situational open isn't there and that's holding me back .
Second, I'm not showing my interest or making my conversations man to woman, and not flirting enough. I've been so focused on simply opening and if the open goes well trying to hook, that I'm not getting anywhere beyond that. The first girl tonight I could have easily said "you look super cute in that dress, btw" or "you're so cute I'm trying so hard not to flirt with you right now" or something along those lines... and before meeting her bitchy friends I should have said, "put your number in my phone, you're the coolest person I've met tonight and I want to get a drink with you sometime". I need to work on going direct. Fail faster or succeed.
Third, I think I'm well beyond getting over approach anxiety. Instead of focusing on my "approach a girl every day this month" challenge, I should be playing to win. I'm getting comfortable with talking to strangers in these environments, things are starting to slow down and make more sense and damn it I owe myself some results. I've invested quite a lot of time into this pursuit, and I owe it to myself to get some more out of it.
For the rest of this month, I am playing to win. And if anyone has a generic opener that has worked well, please let me know! I will field test it
