IT COULD HAVE BEEN WORSE BUT..
So based on the fact I have the lay (no pun intended) of the land here in my small city as I have been going out with approaching in mind (but never doing so) I decided to start the assignment with day 4 today.
The results were in one case what may be considered amusing.. I even laughed about an hour after being initially mortified by the one exchange but now I'm just hoping I never encounter her again or that she knows anyone I do. Just from saying hi you ask? Well that's not quite what happened..
EXCHANGE 1
Arguably the best of the lot. I rounded the corner into a very short clothing store aisle (a walking space between rows of clothing) and said hi to a short cute probably Portugese or similar nationality girl. A brief smile flickered on her face as she quickly darted a glance up and down. My thought is she was flattered but .. I don't know if there was interest. Hard to really say. Maybe attracted but taken?
EXCHANGE 2
Same clothing store. Black girl working on putting stuff on the wall far down the aisle. I keep my eyes off her until just as I reach her and said the big hello. She looked me in the eye, flashed a smile.. (but at some point there was also a flash of annoyance.. not sure before or after she looked at me it was so quick.) and said hello back;. I said how its going. She said good, and asked how it was going with me. I said pretty good.
And I kept walking.
Writing it now it seems positive enough.. but she seemed pretty young. I'm concerned about hitting on high schoolers. I saw someone posting on here they ask "How's college going?"... but how's it going was all I could muster, I mean it was more than I planned on saying lol. I also don't want an employee to feel pressured at work especially since I plan to go back there frequently.
EXCHANGE 3
Same store, I see an attractive blonde, late 20ish maybe, come inside as I was about to leave. I walk around a bit and find her in the shoe section. She leans down RIGHT as I approach and I say "How's it going" as I'm walking by. No response. Either she had her radar up or, at the time I was thinking she thought I was talking to someone on the phone. I kept walking. She also reminded me of a girl I worked with who has something of a halo effect around her so.
This made me feel somewhat off to be honest. I don't know why really. I mean so she didn't respond - right? But it made me somewhat off balance. (actually while re-reading what I've written here I think a big part of my approach anxiety stems from concerns I'll discover I'm not as attractive as I think I am. I'm aware of how fundamentals increase attractiveness, but on some level that isn't sinking in).
I went to a nearby drug store. No girls I wanted to approach there.
Starting to get concerned now I'm not going to be able to finish today's challenge.
EXCHANGE 4 THIS ONE'S HA HA. (yeah) HA.
The sense of incompletion is looming more, I'm dreading now the idea of trying to say hello to passing girls in the mall (cause that's where I'm headed after the grocery store I'm in now) and so as I'm passing a woman with a little boy jumping in her grocery cart I'm thinking.. I can't just say hi so instead I said.. sigh.. "cute kid you have there."
Yeah.
Pretty sure she didn't know what to think. She said nothing as she went past. I found a milk carton to crawl into.
Almost immediately I was concerned security was going to come looking for me. Thank God that didn't happen.
The rest of the time in the grocery store was a cluster. As I was packing my stuff I saw a 20something blonde walk in. I went back inside. Tried like 3 ort 4 times to position myself so I could just get the word out in a non-awkward manner but she moved each time. She probably clocked me in the store then felt I was chasing her. My guess anyway cause it was fucking ridiculous. I mean when she first saw me she did a hair toss with her hand.. but... sigh.
I go to the mall. Girls I saw walking past would seem to be deliberate in avoiding eye contact and I just didn't see it being socially in tune with saying hello at those points. Also 2 or 3 times I start approaching only to see they're likely teens with their mothers so... nope on that.
EXCHANGE 5
Sometime back in the grocery store I had more or less decided to say hello to just about any woman more or less that was not socially awkward to do so.
So this was a bit of a gimme. Going into a bookstore, blonde 30 something who I found mildly attractive. I saw she was headed out of the store and as I made a point to go in through the small space she was using to leave she gave a small smile, and softly said "excuse me". Which is fine.
EXCHANGE 6
I'm about to leave another store. I see a girl who may or may not be attractive from behind but at least she has an attractive figure. She's pulling a bag or something out of a holder (I think) and then turns towards me. I smile and say hello. She broadly smiles back and says hello quite expectantly. I keep walking. I didn't find her attractive.
And that brings to a head an issue I have with pickup. I very much want to leave any woman better off than she was. But this small little interaction made me feel like I was leading her on. Is that fair? All I did was say hello. But it wasn't a normal thing thus the expectations are immediately different, no?
CONCLUSION
So yeah it could have been worse but... A real scarcity of attractive options today I think was a big issue. But it's a small place so what can I expect? Well that's my first kick at the can anyway. (ps. always open and appreciative of feedback if any comes to mind. Cheers!)
So based on the fact I have the lay (no pun intended) of the land here in my small city as I have been going out with approaching in mind (but never doing so) I decided to start the assignment with day 4 today.
The results were in one case what may be considered amusing.. I even laughed about an hour after being initially mortified by the one exchange but now I'm just hoping I never encounter her again or that she knows anyone I do. Just from saying hi you ask? Well that's not quite what happened..
EXCHANGE 1
Arguably the best of the lot. I rounded the corner into a very short clothing store aisle (a walking space between rows of clothing) and said hi to a short cute probably Portugese or similar nationality girl. A brief smile flickered on her face as she quickly darted a glance up and down. My thought is she was flattered but .. I don't know if there was interest. Hard to really say. Maybe attracted but taken?
EXCHANGE 2
Same clothing store. Black girl working on putting stuff on the wall far down the aisle. I keep my eyes off her until just as I reach her and said the big hello. She looked me in the eye, flashed a smile.. (but at some point there was also a flash of annoyance.. not sure before or after she looked at me it was so quick.) and said hello back;. I said how its going. She said good, and asked how it was going with me. I said pretty good.
And I kept walking.
Writing it now it seems positive enough.. but she seemed pretty young. I'm concerned about hitting on high schoolers. I saw someone posting on here they ask "How's college going?"... but how's it going was all I could muster, I mean it was more than I planned on saying lol. I also don't want an employee to feel pressured at work especially since I plan to go back there frequently.
EXCHANGE 3
Same store, I see an attractive blonde, late 20ish maybe, come inside as I was about to leave. I walk around a bit and find her in the shoe section. She leans down RIGHT as I approach and I say "How's it going" as I'm walking by. No response. Either she had her radar up or, at the time I was thinking she thought I was talking to someone on the phone. I kept walking. She also reminded me of a girl I worked with who has something of a halo effect around her so.
This made me feel somewhat off to be honest. I don't know why really. I mean so she didn't respond - right? But it made me somewhat off balance. (actually while re-reading what I've written here I think a big part of my approach anxiety stems from concerns I'll discover I'm not as attractive as I think I am. I'm aware of how fundamentals increase attractiveness, but on some level that isn't sinking in).
I went to a nearby drug store. No girls I wanted to approach there.
Starting to get concerned now I'm not going to be able to finish today's challenge.
EXCHANGE 4 THIS ONE'S HA HA. (yeah) HA.
The sense of incompletion is looming more, I'm dreading now the idea of trying to say hello to passing girls in the mall (cause that's where I'm headed after the grocery store I'm in now) and so as I'm passing a woman with a little boy jumping in her grocery cart I'm thinking.. I can't just say hi so instead I said.. sigh.. "cute kid you have there."
Yeah.
Pretty sure she didn't know what to think. She said nothing as she went past. I found a milk carton to crawl into.
Almost immediately I was concerned security was going to come looking for me. Thank God that didn't happen.
The rest of the time in the grocery store was a cluster. As I was packing my stuff I saw a 20something blonde walk in. I went back inside. Tried like 3 ort 4 times to position myself so I could just get the word out in a non-awkward manner but she moved each time. She probably clocked me in the store then felt I was chasing her. My guess anyway cause it was fucking ridiculous. I mean when she first saw me she did a hair toss with her hand.. but... sigh.
I go to the mall. Girls I saw walking past would seem to be deliberate in avoiding eye contact and I just didn't see it being socially in tune with saying hello at those points. Also 2 or 3 times I start approaching only to see they're likely teens with their mothers so... nope on that.
EXCHANGE 5
Sometime back in the grocery store I had more or less decided to say hello to just about any woman more or less that was not socially awkward to do so.
So this was a bit of a gimme. Going into a bookstore, blonde 30 something who I found mildly attractive. I saw she was headed out of the store and as I made a point to go in through the small space she was using to leave she gave a small smile, and softly said "excuse me". Which is fine.
EXCHANGE 6
I'm about to leave another store. I see a girl who may or may not be attractive from behind but at least she has an attractive figure. She's pulling a bag or something out of a holder (I think) and then turns towards me. I smile and say hello. She broadly smiles back and says hello quite expectantly. I keep walking. I didn't find her attractive.
And that brings to a head an issue I have with pickup. I very much want to leave any woman better off than she was. But this small little interaction made me feel like I was leading her on. Is that fair? All I did was say hello. But it wasn't a normal thing thus the expectations are immediately different, no?
CONCLUSION
So yeah it could have been worse but... A real scarcity of attractive options today I think was a big issue. But it's a small place so what can I expect? Well that's my first kick at the can anyway. (ps. always open and appreciative of feedback if any comes to mind. Cheers!)
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