Superlife Newbie Assignment

[Superlife]

IT COULD HAVE BEEN WORSE BUT..

So based on the fact I have the lay (no pun intended) of the land here in my small city as I have been going out with approaching in mind (but never doing so) I decided to start the assignment with day 4 today.
The results were in one case what may be considered amusing.. I even laughed about an hour after being initially mortified by the one exchange but now I'm just hoping I never encounter her again or that she knows anyone I do. Just from saying hi you ask? Well that's not quite what happened..

EXCHANGE 1
Arguably the best of the lot. I rounded the corner into a very short clothing store aisle (a walking space between rows of clothing) and said hi to a short cute probably Portugese or similar nationality girl. A brief smile flickered on her face as she quickly darted a glance up and down. My thought is she was flattered but .. I don't know if there was interest. Hard to really say. Maybe attracted but taken?

EXCHANGE 2
Same clothing store. Black girl working on putting stuff on the wall far down the aisle. I keep my eyes off her until just as I reach her and said the big hello. She looked me in the eye, flashed a smile.. (but at some point there was also a flash of annoyance.. not sure before or after she looked at me it was so quick.) and said hello back;. I said how its going. She said good, and asked how it was going with me. I said pretty good.
And I kept walking.
Writing it now it seems positive enough.. but she seemed pretty young. I'm concerned about hitting on high schoolers. I saw someone posting on here they ask "How's college going?"... but how's it going was all I could muster, I mean it was more than I planned on saying lol. I also don't want an employee to feel pressured at work especially since I plan to go back there frequently.

EXCHANGE 3

Same store, I see an attractive blonde, late 20ish maybe, come inside as I was about to leave. I walk around a bit and find her in the shoe section. She leans down RIGHT as I approach and I say "How's it going" as I'm walking by. No response. Either she had her radar up or, at the time I was thinking she thought I was talking to someone on the phone. I kept walking. She also reminded me of a girl I worked with who has something of a halo effect around her so.
This made me feel somewhat off to be honest. I don't know why really. I mean so she didn't respond - right? But it made me somewhat off balance. (actually while re-reading what I've written here I think a big part of my approach anxiety stems from concerns I'll discover I'm not as attractive as I think I am. I'm aware of how fundamentals increase attractiveness, but on some level that isn't sinking in).

I went to a nearby drug store. No girls I wanted to approach there.
Starting to get concerned now I'm not going to be able to finish today's challenge.

EXCHANGE 4 THIS ONE'S HA HA. (yeah) HA.

The sense of incompletion is looming more, I'm dreading now the idea of trying to say hello to passing girls in the mall (cause that's where I'm headed after the grocery store I'm in now) and so as I'm passing a woman with a little boy jumping in her grocery cart I'm thinking.. I can't just say hi so instead I said.. sigh.. "cute kid you have there."
Yeah.
Pretty sure she didn't know what to think. She said nothing as she went past. I found a milk carton to crawl into.

Almost immediately I was concerned security was going to come looking for me. Thank God that didn't happen.

The rest of the time in the grocery store was a cluster. As I was packing my stuff I saw a 20something blonde walk in. I went back inside. Tried like 3 ort 4 times to position myself so I could just get the word out in a non-awkward manner but she moved each time. She probably clocked me in the store then felt I was chasing her. My guess anyway cause it was fucking ridiculous. I mean when she first saw me she did a hair toss with her hand.. but... sigh.

I go to the mall. Girls I saw walking past would seem to be deliberate in avoiding eye contact and I just didn't see it being socially in tune with saying hello at those points. Also 2 or 3 times I start approaching only to see they're likely teens with their mothers so... nope on that.

EXCHANGE 5

Sometime back in the grocery store I had more or less decided to say hello to just about any woman more or less that was not socially awkward to do so.
So this was a bit of a gimme. Going into a bookstore, blonde 30 something who I found mildly attractive. I saw she was headed out of the store and as I made a point to go in through the small space she was using to leave she gave a small smile, and softly said "excuse me". Which is fine.

EXCHANGE 6

I'm about to leave another store. I see a girl who may or may not be attractive from behind but at least she has an attractive figure. She's pulling a bag or something out of a holder (I think) and then turns towards me. I smile and say hello. She broadly smiles back and says hello quite expectantly. I keep walking. I didn't find her attractive.

And that brings to a head an issue I have with pickup. I very much want to leave any woman better off than she was. But this small little interaction made me feel like I was leading her on. Is that fair? All I did was say hello. But it wasn't a normal thing thus the expectations are immediately different, no?

CONCLUSION
So yeah it could have been worse but... A real scarcity of attractive options today I think was a big issue. But it's a small place so what can I expect? Well that's my first kick at the can anyway. (ps. always open and appreciative of feedback if any comes to mind. Cheers!)

 

[OldGuy]

Saying "Hello" is a normal thing ( and will be for you if you keep at it). Since she doesn't know what else you have going on, it is a compliment to her.

 

[Superlife]

Saying "Hello" is a normal thing ( and will be for you if you keep at it). Since she doesn't know what else you have going on, it is a compliment to her.

Huh. Well that's cool! Thank you for the feedback. Yes, I intend to keep at it.

 

[gameboy]

seem to be deliberate in avoiding eye contact

Many I know what you mean, that's happened to me so many times it's not even real lol

Good job going out there and starting to say Hi! It was my first step in day game also. It's a small but immensely important step!

 

[Superlife]

Many I know what you mean, that's happened to me so many times it's not even real lol

Good job going out there and starting to say Hi! It was my first step in day game also. It's a small but immensely important step!

Thanks dude. Yea it was interesting, let's say that lol. I think a couple times (one I didn't mention it was so brief I wasn't even sure I wanted to approach) happened like they did because I was too much setting the angle of approach rather than just going in.

And yea I read the first few pages of your journal and it served as inspiration, so thanks to you!
I won't be going out every day like you but yeah gotta keep on the horse.

 

[Superlife]

Haven't made it out that much, maybe a couple of hours a couple of times.
I' had the "hi, how's your day" exchanges at least twice with clerks, but I've been talking with staff like that for years so .

Of the girls I've been attracted to that I've seen (not there has been many.. mall for example was dead yesterday) are ones that it would be super awkward trying to go up out of the blue.

One such girl rounded a corner a bit ahead of me onto the concourse, approaching in my direction far enough to see me on the other side. Knowing my opportunities would be limited, I decided to follow her and look for an opportunity to say hello (all the while chanting in my head, "it's ok to say hello". I don't know how badly I needed that but thought it couldn't hurt)..

Entering a drug store she immediately went into a makeup section and I thought... nah.

No other opportunities at the mall and I head to a department store. Again, a couple of other girls where it would just be really socially awkward presented themselves and I was not going to turn around, walk up beside them and say, hi how's your day going. Oh really? Ok bye. It just seems like reason to be flagged by security.

However, i was passing an aisle and there was a woman crouched there. Couldn't see her face but she had nice long black hair so I thought.. fuck it.

"Are you talking to me?" she said turning to look at me, revealing a matronly visage of a mid-40's woman.
"Yep."
"Oh I thought you were talking to your phone. It's hard .. (something about finding the right book)."
"Right.. so many options here, right?" I replied.
She responded something generic.
"Well good luck," I said.
"You have a good day," she replied.

So yeah... 1 out of 6 on the say hi, how's your day going challenge.
Not very fast eh lol?
Guess I'll just have to keep plugging away at it best I can.

 

[Superlife]

Slow going. I'm out and about here and there but still not seeing a lot of options.

One lady in the grocery store. She was leaning over a floor freezer so couldn't see her face but she had nice hair and..

"Hellooo. How's your day going."

Wizened, 60something woman looks up, smiles. Walks away (but not that far.. I wasn't going to pursue her).
I grab a frozen food, look at it, put it back and leave.

One attractive young lady was looking at some juice in a fridge and I could have just sided up beside here but.. no the avoidance reflex kicked in. I realized I could have easily said the "hello how's your day going" and walked away, it was the perfect set up.. ah next time, whenever that perfect layup may be.

Walking in department store. Woman with nice hair gives me big smile as I pass but no she's not for me and by the time I said the phrase she'd be behind me and I'd have to start a conversation (why would I say hello if she's behind me)?

Same store, a young lady - maybe a teenager - was handling some sort of large roll (no no, no metaphor there). I figured well she's probably not that young if she's decorating herself.. she said excuse me as she was moving by and i was like, hey how's the day going?

Pause.

She giggles, "good."
I respond a bit defensively, "good."
There was a lot in how she replied, like some derision and ego boosting. I mean, that's what it sounded like. But who knows. I guess what I need to take away from it is.. try to rein in the defensive reflex, even if my perception is accurate what does it matter. She was behind me by the time she responded and I didn't turn around. Yeah I get I can be wayyyy too touchy. I would like to stop that.

The next one is an example of an even worse reflex.
In another store I see a woman (can't see her face) struggling with two large water bottles and her cart. After she finishes and turns I pop the phrase out and she (who is not a model but average attractive and probably early 20's') touches her hair and responds "oh good, how's your day going?"

Because my subconscious is apparently still living on past time (and possibly some ptsd from my ex who was in her early 20's), I believe I came across like I was mocking her a bit (maybe I actually was and don't want to admit it to myself). I'm like, "Oh I was just watching you have fun there," with a cheeky smile (because I don't know what else to say? I suppose that's also part of it). I'm also turning away from her a bit I think and as she goes she's talking about it was a full body workout getting the bottles sealed..

Yeah. It could be going better..

These encounters were from two different days.

But I also have too many experiences where I'm just not prepared.

Today was one where I was out for a walk in the frozen neighborhood I call home.
I was crossing a street and there was a girl standing just off the corner (I could peripherally see) with a small cute blondish dog. I wasn't looking at her and it's cold enough the idea anyone would want to have a conversation with a stranger. . well I didn't think it likely put it that way and didn't expect it.

As I was making my way I almost slipped backwards on the ice but regained my balance.
She called out something, and taking an earbud out I asked her, what's that?

Looking at her for the first time I see she strongly resembles an early 20ish Natalie Portman (!)

She cheekily but in a friendly way notes my almost fall and I smile, replying about the crazy crazy ice (or something). We chitchat about her dog while I give pets. But failing to come up with anything else after the dog decides to tangle me in it's leash twice I tell her, well cute dog, and she, still smiling as she had been the entire time, thanked me as I walked away.

Aaaaargggh.

I can be pretty good with banter. But when I've spent most of the day alone, as I do most days and was feeling lacklustre at best today .. this was not good timing.

She was just standing there so maybe she lives there and maybe I'll see her again. I mean I want to marry her now (ha ha). But yeah seriously. maybe I'll see her again .. or maybe not (shrugs).

Anyway, 4 out of 6 in the how's your day going challenge. Inch by inch..