- Joined
- Jan 10, 2025
- Messages
- 33
Hey all,
So I've been implementing Aspiring Stoic's method of approaching which I've found to be working pretty well for me.
www.skilledseducer.com
However even on days when I decide to not open anybody but stand in talking distance of a girl like I would approach. Quite often I still have this feeling of unease. I feel as if I'm being watched or judged by everybody.
So when I go out with only the intention of getting into talking distance with say ten girls, but not actually opening them. I still feel generally uncomfortable. I read this is called the spotlight affect, where you think everybody is watching or judging you. When in reality nobody is taking any notice of you at all.
Now of course I know this, but I still feel uncomfortable when out in public just with the intention of practicing the first step of cold approach. Which is getting into talking distance with women.
It's annoying because I quite enjoy cold approach overall, it's just these things get in the way unfortunately. Like on good days when I'm feeling pretty anxious free I enjoy the process a lot.
I guess any tips if others might of had this issue but got over it would be great.
Otherwise I'll just keeping going at it until I gradually become more comfortable with going out in public to do this kind of stuff.
So I've been implementing Aspiring Stoic's method of approaching which I've found to be working pretty well for me.
My System for Not Feeling Approach Anxiety!
Ye Yeah agreed, dating apps are a great stepping stone to get some fundamentals in place. They're far easier then cold approach and if you're a guy with little experience they're actually quite viable. And then you can give cold approach another crack once you're more comfortable with yourself...

However even on days when I decide to not open anybody but stand in talking distance of a girl like I would approach. Quite often I still have this feeling of unease. I feel as if I'm being watched or judged by everybody.
So when I go out with only the intention of getting into talking distance with say ten girls, but not actually opening them. I still feel generally uncomfortable. I read this is called the spotlight affect, where you think everybody is watching or judging you. When in reality nobody is taking any notice of you at all.
Now of course I know this, but I still feel uncomfortable when out in public just with the intention of practicing the first step of cold approach. Which is getting into talking distance with women.
It's annoying because I quite enjoy cold approach overall, it's just these things get in the way unfortunately. Like on good days when I'm feeling pretty anxious free I enjoy the process a lot.
I guess any tips if others might of had this issue but got over it would be great.
Otherwise I'll just keeping going at it until I gradually become more comfortable with going out in public to do this kind of stuff.