A Hunter's Journey

[Beck Bass]

I'm still to have a threesome, my girlfriend right now is a bit skitish, I asked her many times about it and she was like "yeah lets do it", but then when I'm actually trying to arrange things, pratically, she starts pulling away. Yesterday she suggested we should go to another city, hit a random club and find some girl to do it (she's scared of her reputation, of people knowing her boyfriend shags other girls with her? Probably, though I myself want a girl that won't give much of a fuck what other people think of her, other than me). I really like her, but she basically put this as part of the deal as we were getting back together, and now it seems like she was just leading me on and saying whatever to get with me.

We went to the club together last week and the Asian girl was there, I tried making eye contact but she didn't seem to want to even greet me. I told my girlfriend she was the Asian girl I was talking with about having a threesome with, and that we should have a triple kiss or something, she said aren't those like... bad? I was like, did you ever had a triple kiss with me? She was getting a bit deffensive around Asian girl, I could feel. Afterwards, I messaged Asian girl on women's day and she wrote it was "weird" seeing me with some (my) girl. She also asked if my girl was mad, that she could feel she was ignoring her, when in fact she was ignoring us lol. Basically both girls didn't knew how to act and acted weird, I was trying to have things go smoothly, but apparently, this is gonna be a bit harder.

Anyway, HBRocker is coming to my city this weekend... She texted me to let me know, I asked for her IG to show my girl, and heck, she looks fine, I forgot how fine she looks. I didn't tell her anything about my girlfriend yet, but I'm gonna text her now and go slowly into it, I hope she's down. I talked with my girl yesterday and told her this girl is from another city, that I really wanted to bang her (well, it just came out, dunno how this made her feel, but I was trying to be honest, since I don't wanna cheat on her), showed her pictures and stuff. She said, well, I doubt she's gonna want to do it, she probably only wants to be banged by you, I was like, well, you don't know that, but she was getting skitish again, so I tried asking her why she was being like that, reconforting her that she's my number one. I asked her if it was because of her shyness, and stuff like that, I don't have much of an idea at this point what needs to be fixed, but I think it's some mixture of her fearing about her reputation, and her fearing losing me (maybe a little sexual disgust thrown in, though she said she wanted to have a threesome, and I don't think it's that big of a deal, anyway).

Now I'm trying to navigate this situation, HBRocker is gonna be here only this weekend, and I REAALLY wanna bang her again, this time on a threesome, that would be absolutely dope, but my girl is backpedaling, I even told her that she was playing with my dreams and fantasies making me believe I was gonna have a threesome and then just chaging her mind, which, honestly, at this point, she is. I even suggested opening up the relationship, she was like, you never proposed that before, I told her it was because she told me about her bad experience with it (though later she confessed when we were split up, she contacted the guy she had an open relationship with, and they kissed, and we going to go all the way probably soon, but then we got back together, she ditched him and he got mad, but for her to go back to him, it wasn't that bad, was it?), and she agreed, saying she didn't want "any openings" in our relationship. I won't cheat on my girl, but this situation is make me wonder if I really wanna be in a LTR right now, like I could be smashing some mad pussy atm (though I value my girlfriend so so much for other stuff, the idea of banging other girl every now and then, with her approval, felt like cloud 9 for me, but maybe it's just some illusion, after all, that I can have both at the same time).

Anyway, pray for me guys, if there's someone to figure this shit out, I'm the man lol

Peace.

 

[POB]

Man, I know you are horny, but it seems you are all over the place.
That's not how you seed a threesome or deal with an open relationship!

If your girl is not open from the get go, and still believes you guys are mono, trying to set up a menage with her is gonna backfire hard!
Just switch sides for a second and you will see what I mean....imagine if she is the one pushing for side cock, than pressuring you with another john coming to town (from nowhere) to make her happy (or chasing him through random clubs)...how would that make you feel??

Here's what you have to do:
- be very clear with the main: you guys are open and she is your queen, no matter what;
- tell her that other women are 100% side fun and just a new exciting experience...be open to lead her too if she wants side cock;
- be very loving and caring...you have to be 100% on her side at all times...this is way harder for her, even if she wants it;
- tell your side girls what this is about...seed them with fun, friendship and excitement, never commitment;
- get them both isolated in the same location (hotel, motel or your home, if they are up for it). You never bring them to a social event....even swing clubs are a no no if they are not initiated;
- when isolated, get them relaxed, make them feel comfortable, take your time;
- when the timing is right, get your main to join you to do a massage on her...start to take her clothes off;
- switch sides and make her massage your main...once they are naked, you can ask fro them to massage you too;
- let them touch and feel each other...be the maestro conducting the orchestra...it's about them having fun first because you can wait;
- or you can rent a pro and skip a lot of those steps (that's how I started with my main, she just loved it!);

Hope that helps.

 

[Beck Bass]

- be very clear with the main: you guys are open and she is your queen, no matter what;
- tell her that other women are 100% side fun and just a new exciting experience...be open to lead her too if she wants side cock;
- be very loving and caring...you have to be 100% on her side at all times...this is way harder for her, even if she wants it;

Yeah, I'm always loving with her and make sure she feels like she's my queen... Maybe the way I wrote things made it feel like it was not the case.
About other dudes, though, I wouldn't mind an open relationship, but she herself doesn't seem too keen on getting other cock, in fact her sex drive is more on the low side of things... Though I can get her super aroused if I take my time and she does seem to be curious and have a bit of an open mind about sex, in general (other than some stuff she told me she wouldn't do, at least for now).

Anyway, this is what confuses me quite a bit, since this is my first relationship that is "more serious" (I could see myself living with her for the rest of my life). She says she's open to threesomes but acts quite cold about it sometimes, even if I'm taking my time and slowly getting there. I get that on practice, she needs to feel it, and talking about it "logically" beforehand can be a turn off, but at the same time, I wanna make sure she'll feel good about it and not like I wanna "exchange her" for other girls or like I don't value her enough. But I think there's no way I can talk her into it this way, indeed, I'm just gonna have to take that leap of faith and I'm sure I can make her feel appreciated and sexy af for having a guy like me to herself (I'm pretty confident I can as well, so dunno why I'm so all over the place on that regard).

About hiring a pro, though, I wouldn't do it, for me it takes away the pleasure I get from sex, that mostly comes from dominating a girl, or feeling like she wants me to fuck/impregnate her, which I feel I wouldn't be able to have with one of those.

Meeting the Asian girl at the club was very random, I didn't plan for it, but I was more like jokingly telling her we should all kiss just to see how she would react, I wouldn't say she felt bad about it, since I was paying attention to her all night and we were having fun.

Thanks for the input btw @POB!

 

[POB]

Yeah, I'm always loving with her and make sure she feels like she's my queen... Maybe the way I wrote things made it feel like it was not the case.
About other dudes, though, I wouldn't mind an open relationship, but she herself doesn't seem too keen on getting other cock, in fact her sex drive is more on the low side of things... Though I can get her super aroused if I take my time and she does seem to be curious and have a bit of an open mind about sex, in general (other than some stuff she told me she wouldn't do, at least for now).

This is great!

Anyway, this is what confuses me quite a bit, since this is my first relationship that is "more serious" (I could see myself living with her for the rest of my life). She says she's open to threesomes but acts quite cold about it sometimes, even if I'm taking my time and slowly getting there.

Very normal behavior

I get that on practice, she needs to feel it, and talking about it "logically" beforehand can be a turn off, but at the same time, I wanna make sure she'll feel good about it and not like I wanna "exchange her" for other girls or like I don't value her enough. But I think there's no way I can talk her into it this way, indeed, I'm just gonna have to take that leap of faith and I'm sure I can make her feel appreciated and sexy af for having a guy like me to herself (I'm pretty confident I can as well, so dunno why I'm so all over the place on that regard).

Some girls are just not into it and say "yes" if they think you gonna like them more.
You have to gently figure out what she wants and if she do want to get there with you.
If not, you gotta forget about including her and do it with two other women (and make that clear if she asks)

About hiring a pro, though, I wouldn't do it, for me it takes away the pleasure I get from sex, that mostly comes from dominating a girl, or feeling like she wants me to fuck/impregnate her, which I feel I wouldn't be able to have with one of those.

I don't like pros either. But you are doing it for her, not you.
You could probably fuck any girl you find attractive without flinching.
A pro knows what she is doing and leaves you with just one woman's emotion to deal with.

Meeting the Asian girl at the club was very random, I didn't plan for it, but I was more like jokingly telling her we should all kiss just to see how she would react, I wouldn't say she felt bad about it, since I was paying attention to her all night and we were having fun.

Cool.

Thanks for the input btw @POB!

Great, I appreciate it. Don't give up yet!
My guess is she just needs to let go of some of her Disney.

My main was also super resistant at first.
Now she asks me when we are going to get the next young hottie to have some fun with.
You'll get there.

 

[Beck Bass]

Great, I appreciate it. Don't give up yet!
My guess is she just needs to let go of some of her Disney.

My main was also super resistant at first.
Now she asks me when we are going to get the next young hottie to have some fun with.
You'll get there.

Yup, I'm feeling like that's the case as well... I hope so!
Turns out HBRocker won't be coming this week anyway, so I got some time to figure it out. Maybe it's best I start with a girl I'm not so much into, so I don't much trouble managing my girl's emotions. I really want her to be happy with me (and to help me shag some other hotties

Thanks again

 

[Beck Bass]

Feeling conflicted.
We didn't have that threesome yet and it seems very unlikely.
I texted Asian girl, and I think I came across as a inconsiderate, because she bascially said "actually nope, I'm not sharing a man lol", then backpedalled to "maybe we meet again and me and your girl get along, who knows", I was feeling like making a hail marry anyway, even if she agreed, I felt like my girl would have chickened anyway, I wasn't feeling her that much anyway, whatever.

HBRocker ended up not coming to my city, I really like this bitch, seriously, I probably would be dating her instead if she wasn't from another city and wasn't a doctor (schedule fucked up, I don't wanna be at her mercy that way, in fact, she didn't came because of work). This just makes me feel even more divided, like obviously I love my girlfriend, but there's clearly other girls that are girlfriend material out there that I could be with, also I kinda just wanna go out and go crazy and fuck a lot of pussy, even if my last "run" wasn't all that I expected (HBRocker was dope and HBBooty lots of fun, HBTall is a really cool person, but sex was meh, the other girl(s?) were really bad/forgetable).

In a sense, I don't feel like I wanna be on a LTR right now, like I wanna have way more fun before settling down, the whole threesome "promise" gave me hope of getting some of that fun while still on a serious relationship with an awesome girl, but now that hope is pretty much gone. Last time I talked about it, she was like, "ok, then I'm having other guys too" (like ironically), I was like, hell yeah, lets open this relationship then, then she said like "I'm gonna find some other guy to be my boyfriend then", then I told her, oh, it's not the same thing, you know that. I know talking about it won't do any good, but basically she won't accept the relationship is open and I'm "allowed" to bang other girls, which basically means either I'm exclusive to her, or I'm out (since I don't wanna cheat on her, as I don't think she deserves it or it's a good foundation for any relationship I wanna have). I would love to try it more naturally, like @POB said (the whole threesome thing), and I definitely feel like "she's on Disney" right now, but I can't break through it, I don't feel an opening to making something happen in that sense, to change her mind.

The whole reason I'm with her is she adds a lot to my life, she's a great girl, beautiful, low partner count (though her sex drive is also quite lower than mine), funny girl, that truly appreciates me for who I am. Sexually, well, it's going better, I don't wanna disclose much, but basically she never came, I feel like part of me getting back to her was that I felt like I wanted to make her cum, that a perverted women lover like me was the right guy to guide her to that orgasm, as I made most girls I had sex with, but I feel like I'm not much closer, and I fear that, just like the whole threesome thing, it's something I'm gonna only hope for forever and it's never coming (quite literally). I do feel like our sex is getting better and she's appreciating it more and being more curious and open about it, but dunno. For the most part, she fulfills my needs, in that sense, but I can't help but be super horny for other girls, and it seems girls are giving me even more attention now that I'm in a LTR, it's like they can smell her in me or something, women...

I also feel bad about breaking up with her, since I was the one to end things last time, in December, and I was also the one getting back together with her, last month, it feels like I'm some wishy washy horny idiot, and I really don't wanna hurt her, but at the same time, I fear I could be regretting "not enjoying my youth quite as much" soon, and I don't wanna drag this if it's not gonna work, for her sake and mine... At the same time is kinda confortable for me to stay with her, she treats me well, worries about me, and right now I just have too many things at my plate, I'm finishing uni while working full time, while I want to record a rock album (I play bass since I was 15 and I feel like now it's the time to make something cool... go figure), I got my family to at least give some attention, my friends, it feels overwhelming... And going out hungry to game and drown on that new pussy right now would add even more chaos to the equation, but I don't wanna be with her just because it's easy for me, I wanna be with her because it's the best for her, and maybe I question that as well, right now, because I feel so drawn to other women...

It's really complicated, sorry for making that post almost a teenage girl confession or something, but I felt like I needed to write this somewhere, get my thoughts together, and maybe you guys can help. Dunno what to do, really, being a man is about choosing, after all, and I feel like I need to decide on our future... Before it's too late, and I hurt her and myself in the process.

 

[Beck Bass]

Still conflicted, seriously considering ending everything, I feel like we can't go on like this, I can't, at least.

This weekend she travelled to visit her parents, I didn't feel like going, I had a lot of work to do for uni, and also didn't feel like being at the mercy of her dad (we likely wouldn't bone there and I don't wanna be meeting her dad, specially now).

I went out with the boys and two hotties were eyefucking me like crazy, actually one was almost rubbing her butt on me and twerking like crazy by my side, all I did was give her some eye contact every now and then. Some other dude caming in and approached and made out with both, the crazy girl dancing was almost running away from him, but eventually gave him a bit of a kiss, the other one unleashed all her horniness on him, they were eating each other alive. I felt like going home after a while, then both were loked at me kinda disappointed and surprised.
I was wondering if it's all just horniness and I should just avoid going to club/bars with my friends, but I can't see that happening, I always had a great time with them, even without chicks. Also, I know it's not just horniness, it's my drive to hunt, my need to socialize and specially game.
I love gaming girls, I always did, it grew on me over the years, and now it feels like part of me. Being in a relationship makes things weird, because even if I can go without her to clubs, what is appropriate behaviour for me to have? Should I not even look at girls? Not flirt at all? Not approach any? It feels terrible to be holding back like that, it's not me.

I see people having a great time and I can't help but wonder if I even believe or like the idea of serious relationships at all. I get that for reproduction, there's nothing better than a strong closed couple, but I don't even wanna have kids, not now or anytime soon. I read and hear about the 60's and all this sexual liberation, and I'm like, man, that was dope, that's true free loving and shit (sex, perversion, whatever you wanna call it, one thing is true, it has freedom). I feel like jealousy it's just something from our stupid ego and wanting to own people like they are things (even with material stuff I'm very deattached, but that's a whole other matter). It feels almost hypocritical for me to be on a closed relationship like that, for me to not even give other girls any attention because my girl might get mad or whatever.

Also, even if it's just horniness, horniness led me to some of my better experiences and memories. Back when I was first discovering pick up, and I made out with some super hot chicks super fast on clubs and shit, pulled that girl from a club from the first time, all of this came from my horniness, and some of those are among the best times of my life, for sure. I get that you need to restrain yourself sometimes for the greater good, but I don't think it's sustainable long term for me to hold myself back that much. Like I wanna go out and party and stuff, I don't feel like stopping that anytime soon, and everytime I have to hold myself back to stay loyal to her. It feels like a cool discipline exercise, but I never been a big fan of discipline on the first place, to me what always worked was going through the path of least resistance, letting my instincts guide me. Holding back feels like I'm betraying myself and turning into another person, a weaker version of me, because before, I adapted to let my instincts guide me on the best way possible, or minimize the shortcomings of that, now it feels like I'm just ignoring them and forcing myself to do something else I don't feel it's right, really.

I don't wanna get too personal here, or overshare, but our sex isn't exactly the greatest, she does her best to fulfill me, and we have our cool little moments, but her sex drive is way lower than mine, and I don't feel like she cares enough about our sex. Also, that fact that she never came makes me extremely conflicted, because I 100% wanna be the guy to make her cum, but at the same time, it just feels like she doesn't even care that much about sex and I'm always gonna be frustrated on that regard.
I love her so much, I feel like she's a person I wanna have in my life forever, but it feels right now like we are more friends that anything. She's really dedicated to me, like last week I came late from uni, and shortly after she was here with food for me, after she also worked the whole day, like she really puts in effort in our relationship, even on the sex, I must admit.
This only makes me feel worse, though, because I feel like I can't keep up like this. Even if she puts effort, I feel like I'm the one compromising way more in the relationship, because she's the one with the lower sex drive, like she doesn't care that much if we have sex or not, and we don't have that much sex anyways.

I feel like she gets everything that she wants out of the relationship, which is mostly intimacy (not necessarily sex, but like... companionship?) and stability, also the social card of "I have a boyfriend" (and a cool, hot, smart one, as she said it herself), while for me, having a girlfriend doesn't matter much socially, and I don't care about stability at all (since I don't wanna have kids, and going out to hunt new girls is my favorite pastime anyways), and as much effort as she tries to put in our sex, it's still not nearly enough for me, and I always feel tintilated by other girls. This wouldn't be a big problem if we had an open or onesided relationship (since I'm the horny fuckboi and she barely wants sex anyway, this shouldn't be that big of a problem, right?), but she really opposes to that strongly, like morally, I feel like, and I can't see why. I mean, actually, I really think she wants to "take out my fangs" per say, like she says she likes guys with longer hair, so I haven't got a haircut in quite a while, my mom and sis told me I ough to get one soon, and that she said she prefer it this way because she wants me to be less attractive to other girls (which, you know, deep down inside, I already know). I feel like she wants to have kids with me, I told her I didn't want, but she keeps on talking about it every now and then (she once saw picture of me like 5 years old and straight up told me she needed to have a son that looked like that, I found that endearing, but also scary, since I don't feel like having kids anytime soon). She also asked me when I'm gonna give her a ring, even if just kinda in passing, and told me something about her wanting a big, expensive wedding, with a Tifanny (dafuq is dat?) ring and shit like that, and I was like, that's not happening bitch (with all due respect, I'm not a guy for traditional provider role, I'm very sorry, but that's just not me).

I was talking with Mr. P yesterday and he echoed to me a lot of what I think anyways, that we are young (ok, he's 2 years younger lol, but I feel pretty young still) and he doesn't see himself getting in a serious relationship before his 30ies (something I would proudly say before meeting my girl again, geez), that he respects LTRs, but it's not for him right now (and me thinking it's not for me as well). He also said I should evaluate that carefully and do the best for both of us soon, because I might regret a lot that in the future, and end up ruining our relationship down the road (and I agree, 100%). This talk really got me thinking, I'm feeling this weird grief today, I feel like an idiot for getting back together with her the next day after bumping at her at the club, like I should have known this wasn't right, but here I am, about to break her heart again, even more so, and make myself feel bad again, for no fucking reason, like we both should have been over each other by now.

That said, at this very moment I still question how shit is gonna go down, she's still at her dad's house until next week, I can't send her a message now and just "hey bye", I want to talk to her and find an alternative, but I fear in the end we just gonna part and it's gonna be ugly. Anyway, as Mr. P said, in the end everything is gonna be alright, go I shouldn't worry (easier said than done, though). Anyway, I just wanted to write this down to help me process it, I'm gonna have to take some real action soon, hope everything goes... I don't even know what I hope for, at this point.

 

[SexManiac]

Nahh bro. You are mentally masturbating yourself talking so much. A good advice for you would be: "The Map is not the territory". Just interpret what that Sentence means

 

[mist]

Still conflicted, seriously considering ending everything, I feel like we can't go on like this, I can't, at least.

This weekend she travelled to visit her parents, I didn't feel like going, I had a lot of work to do for uni, and also didn't feel like being at the mercy of her dad (we likely wouldn't bone there and I don't wanna be meeting her dad, specially now).

I went out with the boys and two hotties were eyefucking me like crazy, actually one was almost rubbing her butt on me and twerking like crazy by my side, all I did was give her some eye contact every now and then. Some other dude caming in and approached and made out with both, the crazy girl dancing was almost running away from him, but eventually gave him a bit of a kiss, the other one unleashed all her horniness on him, they were eating each other alive. I felt like going home after a while, then both were loked at me kinda disappointed and surprised.
I was wondering if it's all just horniness and I should just avoid going to club/bars with my friends, but I can't see that happening, I always had a great time with them, even without chicks. Also, I know it's not just horniness, it's my drive to hunt, my need to socialize and specially game.
I love gaming girls, I always did, it grew on me over the years, and now it feels like part of me. Being in a relationship makes things weird, because even if I can go without her to clubs, what is appropriate behaviour for me to have? Should I not even look at girls? Not flirt at all? Not approach any? It feels terrible to be holding back like that, it's not me.

I see people having a great time and I can't help but wonder if I even believe or like the idea of serious relationships at all. I get that for reproduction, there's nothing better than a strong closed couple, but I don't even wanna have kids, not now or anytime soon. I read and hear about the 60's and all this sexual liberation, and I'm like, man, that was dope, that's true free loving and shit (sex, perversion, whatever you wanna call it, one thing is true, it has freedom). I feel like jealousy it's just something from our stupid ego and wanting to own people like they are things (even with material stuff I'm very deattached, but that's a whole other matter). It feels almost hypocritical for me to be on a closed relationship like that, for me to not even give other girls any attention because my girl might get mad or whatever.

Also, even if it's just horniness, horniness led me to some of my better experiences and memories. Back when I was first discovering pick up, and I made out with some super hot chicks super fast on clubs and shit, pulled that girl from a club from the first time, all of this came from my horniness, and some of those are among the best times of my life, for sure. I get that you need to restrain yourself sometimes for the greater good, but I don't think it's sustainable long term for me to hold myself back that much. Like I wanna go out and party and stuff, I don't feel like stopping that anytime soon, and everytime I have to hold myself back to stay loyal to her. It feels like a cool discipline exercise, but I never been a big fan of discipline on the first place, to me what always worked was going through the path of least resistance, letting my instincts guide me. Holding back feels like I'm betraying myself and turning into another person, a weaker version of me, because before, I adapted to let my instincts guide me on the best way possible, or minimize the shortcomings of that, now it feels like I'm just ignoring them and forcing myself to do something else I don't feel it's right, really.

I don't wanna get too personal here, or overshare, but our sex isn't exactly the greatest, she does her best to fulfill me, and we have our cool little moments, but her sex drive is way lower than mine, and I don't feel like she cares enough about our sex. Also, that fact that she never came makes me extremely conflicted, because I 100% wanna be the guy to make her cum, but at the same time, it just feels like she doesn't even care that much about sex and I'm always gonna be frustrated on that regard.
I love her so much, I feel like she's a person I wanna have in my life forever, but it feels right now like we are more friends that anything. She's really dedicated to me, like last week I came late from uni, and shortly after she was here with food for me, after she also worked the whole day, like she really puts in effort in our relationship, even on the sex, I must admit.
This only makes me feel worse, though, because I feel like I can't keep up like this. Even if she puts effort, I feel like I'm the one compromising way more in the relationship, because she's the one with the lower sex drive, like she doesn't care that much if we have sex or not, and we don't have that much sex anyways.

I feel like she gets everything that she wants out of the relationship, which is mostly intimacy (not necessarily sex, but like... companionship?) and stability, also the social card of "I have a boyfriend" (and a cool, hot, smart one, as she said it herself), while for me, having a girlfriend doesn't matter much socially, and I don't care about stability at all (since I don't wanna have kids, and going out to hunt new girls is my favorite pastime anyways), and as much effort as she tries to put in our sex, it's still not nearly enough for me, and I always feel tintilated by other girls. This wouldn't be a big problem if we had an open or onesided relationship (since I'm the horny fuckboi and she barely wants sex anyway, this shouldn't be that big of a problem, right?), but she really opposes to that strongly, like morally, I feel like, and I can't see why. I mean, actually, I really think she wants to "take out my fangs" per say, like she says she likes guys with longer hair, so I haven't got a haircut in quite a while, my mom and sis told me I ough to get one soon, and that she said she prefer it this way because she wants me to be less attractive to other girls (which, you know, deep down inside, I already know). I feel like she wants to have kids with me, I told her I didn't want, but she keeps on talking about it every now and then (she once saw picture of me like 5 years old and straight up told me she needed to have a son that looked like that, I found that endearing, but also scary, since I don't feel like having kids anytime soon). She also asked me when I'm gonna give her a ring, even if just kinda in passing, and told me something about her wanting a big, expensive wedding, with a Tifanny (dafuq is dat?) ring and shit like that, and I was like, that's not happening bitch (with all due respect, I'm not a guy for traditional provider role, I'm very sorry, but that's just not me).

I was talking with Mr. P yesterday and he echoed to me a lot of what I think anyways, that we are young (ok, he's 2 years younger lol, but I feel pretty young still) and he doesn't see himself getting in a serious relationship before his 30ies (something I would proudly say before meeting my girl again, geez), that he respects LTRs, but it's not for him right now (and me thinking it's not for me as well). He also said I should evaluate that carefully and do the best for both of us soon, because I might regret a lot that in the future, and end up ruining our relationship down the road (and I agree, 100%). This talk really got me thinking, I'm feeling this weird grief today, I feel like an idiot for getting back together with her the next day after bumping at her at the club, like I should have known this wasn't right, but here I am, about to break her heart again, even more so, and make myself feel bad again, for no fucking reason, like we both should have been over each other by now.

That said, at this very moment I still question how shit is gonna go down, she's still at her dad's house until next week, I can't send her a message now and just "hey bye", I want to talk to her and find an alternative, but I fear in the end we just gonna part and it's gonna be ugly. Anyway, as Mr. P said, in the end everything is gonna be alright, go I shouldn't worry (easier said than done, though). Anyway, I just wanted to write this down to help me process it, I'm gonna have to take some real action soon, hope everything goes... I don't even know what I hope for, at this point.

Kinda think you know what needs to happen.

Perhaps make a post in relationships for guys more qualified.

One thing I'll comment on is there seems to be a lack of leadership in your relationship from your side. She's dictating and saying a lot from your writing...where are you exactly?

No talk about her sex drive, no application of POB's threesome tips, no use of Chase's tech for mistresses and consorts where she's loyal to you but you're fucking around, no open relationship maneuvers, no fixing her up, etc. No sextoys, kink exploration, attempt to make the relationship interesting.

See a lot of emotions, circular thinking, and temptation.

You got this, but you gotta start making some decisions like you're saying imo.

Luckily that doesn't necessarily mean your relationship ends, but it could? Would you prefer that? Ignoring morality and ethics and guilt...do you even want this relationship? Who's value system is holding you to this?

Kinda think you know what needs to happen. I don't, but you do.

You could ask in relationships as well. Approach it like a project...figure out your sticking point, experiment, etc

 

[Beck Bass]

Nahh bro. You are mentally masturbating yourself talking so much. A good advice for you would be: "The Map is not the territory". Just interpret what that Sentence means

I would advise you on trying to give actually pratical advice, instead of mentally masturbating about my mentally masturbating...

You could ask in relationships as well. Approach it like a project...figure out your sticking point, experiment, etc

Man, honestly I did already, like I pushed as far as I could, if I try to go any further it will start to mess with her consent and everything, even all the tech you mention, if the girl is not open to it, I can't force it.

I always try to be the leader and everything, but part of why I'm with her now is she makes my life easier, because she leads most things how I want her to. I know I'm compromising, but I was doing this on pourpose because right now I wanna focus on other things in my life, other than girls, and she's a great girl. I would love her as a friend, but I'm starting to see that sexually, it likely won't ever work. I feel like she despises penetration for some reason (dunno why the fuck, she talked about some trauma once but never went into it, I tried to calmly get into it, but it seems she rather not tell me), and I feel like that's not enough at all for me.

See a lot of emotions, circular thinking, and temptation.

Yeah, I was trying to stick around more to see if I learn more or something changes, I think it's part of my learning on relationships, like I needed this. If she was just another hoe, I would have left long ago, but i feel like she's a girl that has wife potential, this is why I stuck so long with it, but it was never easy (and again, I don't even know if I wanna get married, right now i relly don't feel like it anyway).

Would you prefer that? Ignoring morality and ethics and guilt...do you even want this relationship? Who's value system is holding you to this?

I don't feel like anything is holding me like that mentally, I'm pretty direct guy when it comes to those life decisions. If I'm still with her, it's because I like this relationship way more than I dislike, or at least did, but, at the moment, I don't feel like it anymore. I tried sticking around longer to see if that was just a phase, but it seems we really have some deep problems.

I'm gonna have a real conversation with her and address everything that need to be addressed, it's long due. Finally I have some time in my hands, so if it's gotta end, then so be it. I love her so much, but love can only take you so long, we are both adults and if it isn't working, it isn't. I won't hold back anymore.

Godspeed y'all and thanks @Mist22 for the input.

 

[Beck Bass]

Relationship is going fine, smooth sailing, though she still doesn't cum, I mean, it's almost like she won't allow me to get closer to her, like in a deeper sense, she even resists me kissing her belly or her tits sometimes. She mentioned that "trauma" of hers long ago, but never talked about it, it's almost like it doesn't exist, and lately I've been thinking almost like she doesn't want to come to me, like maybe she thinks she's got more power over me this way. I deff take a lot of pride on my lover skills, and part of why I got back together with her is because I wanted to "learn" how to make her cum, but if she's been pretending this whole time and avoiding cumming with/for me (maybe afraid of losing power/falling for me?), it's gonna be a big bummer. Maybe I'm just being paranoid, but who knows...

The "free pass" she gave me on the trip, though, deff opens up a precedent, now I feel closer to getting a threesome or just having other girls on the side (with her consent), it seems girls really don't care if you bang other women, as long as you're "loyal" to them. The Asian girl from the club was messaging me quite a bit lately, she asked me when I'll go there, I asked her if she changed her mind about the threesome, she was like nah and started talking about jack, my girl saw notifications of her messages and was a bit mad, she said if she keeps this up she'll send a message to her "putting her on her place" lmao.

Been working on my music and playing some strategy games online, I'm getting a whole lot better in all of this, though it's mostly just as a hobby. My plans on developing my game right now is mostly making my LTR better and getting girls to have a threesome with us... Or, if my girlfriend gives me another "free pass" (more like when), to be in shape to take advantage of it, since this time my game was quite garbo. I wanna be sharp all the time, like have a "default game" that is strong to lay girls even when I haven't "approached" in quite a while. Maybe being more social with people in general, specially hot girls, can help me now. I've been thinking of getting myself some hot female friends to help my game as well, dunno how I'll do that hehe, but I'll try.

 

[Beck Bass]

The Asian girl from the club was messaging me quite a bit lately, she asked me when I'll go there, I asked her if she changed her mind about the threesome, she was like nah and started talking about jack, my girl saw notifications of her messages and was a bit mad, she said if she keeps this up she'll send a message to her "putting her on her place" lmao.

Sooo my girl and I were having some pillow talk and she out of the blue admits she doesn't really care if I bang this girl (and others, I'm assuming), as long as I don't give her any STDs! So I'm like, hell yeah, finally hehe.

I contacted Asian girl lowkey and she told me she was going to the club yesterday night, I was like, okay, maybe I go there say hi. Turns out I ended up bedding her last night. It was dope but a bit stressful until we got to it, I'll write a report later, but basically I didn't want my girl to know I was out to bang her, because, well, with my last open LTR me being a bit too honest (honestly I just told her stuff that wasn't need to say at all) just made her even more insecure and ended up damaging our relationship.

Anyway me and my girl are happier than ever together, and now it seems I can have other girls too, so that's kinda cray. I'll write the FR later as now I'm kinda busy with work lol, until then see ya

 

[Beam]

Sooo my girl and I were having some pillow talk and she out of the blue admits she doesn't really care if I bang this girl (and others, I'm assuming), as long as I don't give her any STDs! So I'm like, hell yeah, finally hehe.

I contacted Asian girl lowkey and she told me she was going to the club yesterday night, I was like, okay, maybe I go there say hi. Turns out I ended up bedding her last night. It was dope but a bit stressful until we got to it, I'll write a report later, but basically I didn't want my girl to know I was out to bang her, because, well, with my last open LTR me being a bit too honest (honestly I just told her stuff that wasn't need to say at all) just made her even more insecure and ended up damaging our relationship.

Anyway me and my girl are happier than ever together, and now it seems I can have other girls too, so that's kinda cray. I'll write the FR later as now I'm kinda busy with work lol, until then see ya

Hit the damn jackpot!! Haha

 

[Beck Bass]

Hit the damn jackpot!! Haha

Lol pretty much.

My girl spent this weekend with me and she actually found a long ass red hair from Asian girl, she was like "Beeeeck you're bringing in redheads right here? ", I was like "naaaah" kinda laughing, she got a bit angry but then she was chill. I was like damn I'm stupid, because I cleaned everything throughly, but then didn't check the couch properly, and we were making out there before sex, but I was also reliefed in a sense that she found out, because I was feeling a bit like I was cheating, even if she said she didn't care, it felt weird not to say anything to her. Of course I didn't want to rub in her face, but also I think she has the right to know, so it's a dificult balance to strike. Luckly it happened how it happened, she kinda closed her hand and gave me a little push when she found out, I asked her "are you angry? you wanna hit daddy?", she was like "you better get some STDs test", I told her I used condoms, that I always use if it isn't with her, thought that's the only girl I slept since we're back together.

At first she was a bit quiet, but we spent more time together and everything was fine (I think I was also acting a little bit weird, but I told myself I gotta let go and enjoy my time with her as best as I can). We went to the park and had some fun together, we borrowed a "double bicycle ", I was in the front as the pilot, though I barely know how to ride a bicycle lol, my hands were red of how much brute force I had to use to keep this thing from falling while we rode, but it was fun. Afterwards in bed she was like "you're miiiine", and I was like, yeah, I'm yours, bae, but you have to learn to share me a bit sometimes, you know? hehe

 

[Beck Bass]

My girl went on travelling with her family and I was alone here, so I figured I would try going out yesterday and meeting some birdies.
Actually the day before I messaged Bootylicious girl, and told her I stopped messaging her because I got back with my girl... Then she threw me something like "do I look like a mistress to you?" and I was like "idk lol", and she went "I hope not", then I tried meeting her, if even just as a friend, I wanted to talk to some girl. She said she was at a bar near my appartment with a (girl) friend, but I asked her if I could join, and she took forever to answer, then sent me some weird message like "what's up?", I went like fuck this hoe (tbh she really doesn't look like a girl I would like to be seen in public with as a couple lmao, but the sex was good).

I was also texting a sexy blondie I made out with at the club last week, before my girl was like "we need to talk/let's break up" and came to my appartment dressed all sexy to have sex with me lmao. This blondie gave me some AI, I went in, and she immediatly turns to me and said "hey I'm socializing now, later...". It seems a bit rude, but the way she said it was really sexy and she came across as very socially savy, so i was like, whatever. I approached some other girls, I was almost making out with some other I think, then I came across her again, she looked a me a bit, then we got lost for like 5 minutes. When our eyes met again, we were immediatly making out hard, in front of her friends (no idea why she was waiting back then), I got her IG (big mistake, my first photo is a big ass photo with my girl, and I don't even have much following) and said good bye, coz' my girl was texting me weird stuff.
I messaged her though and got nothing, she's really young, we made out hard at the club, so she's already a hard flakey case, but she seeing my pic with my girl just makes things worse. This one didn't bother asking if she "looks like a mistress" lol
I got a bit bummed out though, blue eyes, kinda tall (not too tall, I don't like girls my height, 6'), niiice thighs. One things about blondes for me is most don't even have that beautiful of a face, but with make up they look the best of the girls, imao (other than some super hot brunettes, but I think blondes are consistently hotter with make up, go figure, maybe Barbie dictating the world or something).

Yesterday I figured I would go have lunch at the shopping mall, eat some shit fast food and see some cuties for a change. I went there, and freaking Burger King was packed, it took half an hour to get my Whopper. There was some talent in the line, though, one girl that seemed like she worked around there, with a tight blue t-shirt, some heels (boots I think?), black jeans, lots of make up, but her face seemed like cute enough and her body was great. There was also this other chick with her boyfriend, cute-ish, was giving lots of AIs, her boy started getting deffensive, put his arms around her and shit (and she would only give me more lol, these guys really have no clue, rewarding a girl for giving some other dude attention). I wanted to approach the "hired gun" chick, but I needed to go back to work at home, I went walking to the mall, so it took me almost half and hour, I was like, I'm gonna eat in 15 minutes and jet, but it took all this time... Still, I waited around a bit, but eventually she just disappeared, dunno if she gave up on her burger or what.
There was also this girl I came across on the way sat near my appartment building, looking fine and young, but I couldn't find an excuse to sit there and slowly approach her, my daygame really is shit (but I'm trying to improve, for now, I'm mostly just searching for good venues and times to go out, I wanna integrate it into my day-to-day).

I got home and it was my aunt's birthday, we went to a karaoke to cellebrate. Mostly old people, there was one very fine young women there, on the table next to ours, on a white dress, some big white stone necklace or some shit, but the guys on her table were all over her. To be fair, dunno if any of them was her man, maybe they were just friends or family, I didn't find much openings to go and talk to her. Me and my sister sang sang Michel Teló's Fugidinha, which kinda talks about sneaking out and running away together, the girl was looking a lot at me afterwards, I really did a great job singing. My aunt's older friends (the women) were kinda giving me AIs as well, a younger one was with her man but couldn't help herself looking at me every now and then (I was using my stylish leather jacket, finally it feels like winter a little bit here in Brazil).

I got home around midnight, my dad and sister wanted to leave early, I figured I would go to my "favorite club" (it's more like the best club to pull, or at least, it used to be). I get there around 1:30 and it's a sausage fest, I think it must be some gay event or some shit, 3/4 of the people are male (mostly gay), the girls are all in groups with their gay friends. The music also isn't helping, some gay-ish club tunes, if you know what I mean, not my vibe at all. I do see when I arrive though a familiar face, and she stares at me a bit, then gets pulled by her friends to the smoking area. I got there, but I don't manage to find her. I'm a bit in the dancefloor, some gay dude stares at me, then looks away, waits and waits, I know he wants to approach, but it seems he's nervous. He eventually comes, as he's starting to talk, I tell him "man I'm straight", he's like "really?" (like what are you doing here then, I'm asking myself the same, should have checked the club IG before coming I think), I tell him "in fact I have a girlfriend", he asks me "where's she then?", I tell him she's travelling. He seems a bit dumbfounded lol, it's kinda like straight dudes when we take too long to approach a girl, then she tells she has a man, and we think it's not true lol

I eventually find the girl I knew upstairs, she's like a light dark skined tall girl, like mixed black and white, but more white, though she has dreads on her hair now (back on the day she had it straight?), the two dudes are sat with her on the sofa. I kinda just stop and stare at her, she stares at me, and starts laughing, I go sit and talk to her:
"Don't I know you... from... somewhere?"
"Yup, here" (last time I saw her she barely looked at me, she came into the club and saw me making out and squeezing the ass of some random Asian chick)

I kinda ask her what she's been doing and that type of shit, she tells me that the dudes are her "boyfriends" (they seemed gay as fuck to me, and she told me they were trying to get some other dude to fuck them both, the dudes, I'm like, wtf) and are jealous. At this point, I should have just asked her who asked if they were her boyfriends or what, but whatever, I'm tired. This girl has a really beautiful face and a great body, but she's young and has some weird feminazi stuff. I remember starting talking about sex with her on IG back on the day and she schooled me about how she's a boss bitch and what not, that I'm a primitive straight whatever, I was like, man, this girl is fucked up. I know I should stay away from this weird hoe but she looking fine, and she staring at me, but her "boyfriends" start getting very territorial. She tells me I'm "kinda random", I answer her making a point about something else silly she said, repeating her line on a way to get her a bit mad, like "well you xxx but I guess I'm the one that's kiiiinda randooom lol". This is witty, but this bitch is too LGBTQXLROMEGA to have any kind of combative dynamic with anyone, even if it's just a bit of flirty banter, she closes off quite a bit. The one dude with some bleached hair on her side has his hands kinda near her tights and it's making some weird aggressive gestures while talking to her, I'm not understanding jack anymore. She's on the other side of the couch, and not even talking to me at this point, but I figured I wouldn't leave, this hoe should leave with her idiotic gay friends, and eventually they do, she still kinda looking at me, like I know she wants my dick, but she got so brainwashed by that gay agenda that she rather leave her friends to me or some shit lmao
I go home a bit depressed, dunno what's wrong with this gal, seriously, but whatever, I already knew she was trouble.

Today I'll try working on finding more venues and times for daygame, maybe get an approach in, and I'm going out with the boys at night, hopefully will pull a hottie to take off this bitter taste out of my mouth. Until next time bwooois!

 

[Beck Bass]

Yesterday my friends came to my appartment to warm up for our outing at night. Around 6 PM my stylish lawyer friend came over and brought me some nice Polish vodka and some Fanta lmao, I had cheap decent vodka here but he bought some, he suggested for us to unite in my appartment before the outing. That said, he also said he was with some other friends and likely would go straight to some bar near our "favorite club" (ok, now I'm not hating this place so much, yesterday indeed there was a super gay event that I wasn't even aware, which explains what happened lmao, my friends were making fun of me for going there).

Jesus boy came up around 7:30, in his motorbyke, leather jacket (me and Mr. P were wearing as well, Ace Atourney had some stilish blue jacket I believe, it's getting cold here). We chill and listen to some music, I'm drinking some watermelon vodkarita and Fanta with vodka, he's not drinking much, since he's riding his cycle. He talks about this girl he's been going out with, beautiful small brunette, he said she was great in the sack as well and is a bit of a nympho, want's to do it 2, 3 times a day (that's what she said). We talk a bit, then we kinda run out of convo, weird feeling with a friend, none is joining us so soon, but then Mr. P comes in, around 8 and something.

He drinks Fantodka with me, we talk about when I did shrooms with my friend Tunny, (like bunny with a T, my oldest wing and best friend from the first uni), how crazy I got and stuff. We are deciding where to go, Mr. P wants to visit a new place that's a bit more expensive, he says there's some fine ladies there, me and Jesus boy are in. Around 9PM we go to the bar Ace Atourney is in with Tunny's friends, they were all from the same school, I believe.

We get there with the vodka bottle, we are drinking the rest before the club, that other Mr. P friend (Soldier?) is there with us, great guy. There's also the girlfriend of an a big friend of Tunny and Ace Atourney there, this girl was a quite a bit tipsy last time and said to me we should grab a coffee together next time, I messaged her on IG and she took all week to respond, but then on Friday she sent "sure!". I dunno what to expect, honestly I don't mind a friend that's a girl I'm not boning, since the ones I am, are creating a bit of a situation with my girl, but this girl, I showed her that "receiptify" thing with my songs from last week, this weeks ago, and there was this Arctic Monkeys song, we are both big fans, just listen to the lyrics... She looked at me kinda like "oohh", then the next week she was telling me to get coffee with her in front of her man (we are neighbors though, like she lives on an appartment on the building next to mine). No idea what to expect, to be fair, I don't wanna complicate things in my own social circle, she's kinda cute, but dunno if that's worth the risk anyway (I also like her man, guy is cool, for the most part).

Anyway we decide it's time to jet, Soldier drives, Mr. P, me and Ace Atourney are on his car, Jesus boy is on his moto, we get right in front of this new place, but the boys are already like let's go to the old "gay" club, girls are easy to pull there (Soldier in special wanted to get in there, I don't think he has been there many times). We are like of, Mr. P is a bit mad but he's chill, we go back to the bar near the club lol. As we get there, a friend of Ace Atourney goes with us, he works in Germany and it's a bit quiet, tall handsome guy, but he feels a bit disjointed from our group (I noticed Ace Atourney doesn't quite put in a lot of effort into integrating him in the group).

We get inside the club, and there's some hawt birdies that night, nice stuff. I grab a beer with Ace on the bar, just to keep the little alcohol in us going a little, I don't wanna drink much more, was already drunk before the club. We dance a bit, I approach some hottie dressed in a wedding dress or some shit, asking her "Are you the bride?". She answers me "Yes.", very short, like "get outta here". I approached her kinda hard and out of the blue, to be fair, I was just testing the waters and trying to get an early approach on, to not get stuck or something, I guess she didn't have much time to take me in or even consider anything, so I'm very chill.

I chill with them boys, looking for talent, it seems Mr. P did an approach early on but didn't turn into anything, I didn't even see it (Jesus told me). He and Soldier are like 3 years younger than us, I think, I really wanna teach them some stuff, if I can, but they left kinda early that night, no idea if they felt left out, weren't feeling the club or what, I'll talk to them next time. Anyway me and the boys meet some group while smoking outside, I'm telling you, every night I smoke, I do well with the ladies, for the most part, must be something with fitting in into the environ. It's the birthday of one of those girls, the mother hen of the groups makes us sing her happy birthday and show us her eyes, blue and beautiful. She's a bit tall and chubby, but her face is very beautiful, too bad he's a bit shy and too on her own head or something (the mother hen trying to get people to see her eyes for some reason shouldn't help). She has some 2 hottish friends, but none of them has that interesting of a personality or is that much of my type, so I chill (I actually was more into the mother hen, but she's with her man, and he's a cool guy, also I was into her mostly for the personality, so I'm happy with just listening to her talk). One is from a small city more from countryside, just like Jesus man, and he's obviously drawn to her, the other has a bit of a strong accent from the south, of here, which you could say makes her more like an Argetinian girl, I hate that accent myself though, I work from people from there and it's not my thing (they also seem to have a bit of this Euro worship thing for being european descent for the most part, German and Italian here on south, the German ones in special are kinda closed off and speak German in many cases, sometimes only German, which to me is bizarre considering they live here, I myself am mostly Italian descent, as far as I know, but I couldn't care less). Obviously "German" friend from Ace Atourney was there, slowly getting to the girl, I don't even know how they started making out, because he barely speaks, I remember she talking to the group and he making a big deal out of how he works and travels to Germany all the time, don't like this bragadocious crap, but whatever.

I also made out with some black girl on the dance floor, she was kinda cute, I was thinking of pulling her (since I never did it with a black girl) but her energy was a bit too much for me, also later she started making out hard with another guy next to me, I think she was trying to show her value or whatever (she called me when we passed by one another afterwards, like "heyy Bee", refering to my common nickname).
We came back afterwards to smoke again and Jesus boy ended up making out with the other girl, he was like "man what am I doing, I'm in love with this other girl", yada yada, but then went on to show me the IG of this other girl and how hot she was (probably one of the hottest I saw him kissing, so I understand the excitement), I was like, man, chill, it's gonna be fine, you can handle two lol. He said "his girl" was very jealous, because of previous relationships, now I wonder if there's some reason to that, like for some reason she wants to get the guys crazy for her pussy, then they start feeling like they are the shit, and inevitably ended up cheating on her with some other hottie. But, as far as I know, she's not his girlfriend, so no harm no foul, I suppose?

Anyway, I'm there freezing, waiting for my mans to leave, Jesus boy said he would give me a ride, I was like whatever man, the club is walking distance from my appartment, and it's not like I can't pay for an Uber ride either, but he keeps on pinging me if I wanna leave. Of course I say no, but eventually the group of girls go inside to dance (they say they are leaving, but they don't lol, leaving us, more like it), so he decides to leave. Ace Atourney took some candy on the bathroom around 1PM, I think, so he doesn't wanna sleep, that was part of the reason I was there for a while as well, there was an Asian in the group being social with both of us, but that was it.

In the end me and Jesus boy are leaving, but some green eyed girl that seems like she's had too much to drink is right behind me, but I'm turning back because the line is long and a mess anyway. She has some bloodshot eyes just like HBRocker did (now I remembered I showed the boys some messages I was exchanging with her, talking about threesomes and shit, but it was Ace that bought that up, talking about how hot she was, indeed, she was), maybe she was in candy as well, dunno. Anyway I look at her and I can tell this shit is on, she stares me for like 2, 3 seconds, I ask her name, giving my usual hand clasp, she's in, we kiss. Her kissing is a bit funny, I think she did more than just alcohol indeed, but she's talking normally, for the most part. She asks me some crap, I give her the usual nothing I give girls, just confusing them with my language lmao, then I get her number (lesson learned from last week, no more IG, though this girl seems more solid anyways, she's about my age, not 21 or something like the blondie from last week), we jet.

Today around 11AM I sent her the usual "pleasure meeting you, save my number", then follow up with a "it's me Beck from the club, in case you forgot", she answer kinda quick, telling me she remembers. I'm like I knew you would remember lol, ask her how she's doing. From there I try seeing if I can get her out today already, since my girl is back on Saturday, but she says she can't make it today (she told me she was studying to be a doctor, doing residency and shit, I'm like meeeh), so I tell her to let me know when she's free so we can go out for a coffee or beer. I think this girl is gonna be easy peasy, but my girl is coming home soon, I don't wanna make her mad or anything lmao. This girl is very beautiful, brunette with green eyes, very light skin, very thin as well (if she had more ass and thighs, I would give her a 7/7, but for now she gets a 6/7). Hope this all goes well!

 

[Beck Bass]

This week I've been sick, my mom was sick before my aunt's birthday on the karaoke, but she didn't went, still, I got it (it's not COVID though, I think, if it's the same, but I might have something else from some of the girl I kissed last week, careful where you put your mouths guys lol).

So I was texting the green eyed girl from the club Tuesday to build some raport, I guess that was good because she told she knew next to nothing about me, so I guess she wouldn't go out with me without it (well, maybe I'm just tripping, and if I ask the right time the right way she would, but it was going well, she was answering super fast). Anyway yesterday I'm like well I gotta see this girl soon, and it's kinda real that she'll just forget about me and get skeptical of meeting up a random guy from the club after a while, but I texted her with this kinda not quite building raport, not quite asking her out... I was actually going to ask her out, but I started coughing reeeeally bad, and I was feeling kinda fever-ish (I was a bit during the day, but it seemed I was getting over it). What I did was basically tell her I wanted to see her but I couldn't, because I was sick, and since she told me she's studying to be a doctor, I was like maybe I should have a little appointment with you at my place... Which is dumb in many ways, because I mean she's not even that open to sex yet to begin with (she was talking about the "big areas" of medicine, and I was like, do you like big things? And she was like "? lol", it's one thing for her to be open to sex irl, another to text about it before it even happens and she barely knows me). Also I'm telling her I can't see her because I'm sick, so like, what's the point of those messages, really. Anyway she hasn't answered it, and she answers quite fast... Maybe it's not the end of the world, I mean, she didn't answer my last message yesterday (oh negative compliance is a bit of a thing as well), but this one wasn't even supposed to be answered, and it was fine, I guess, it's just that those messages out of the blue are kinda bad. I'm gonna try texting her once I'm better but I think I shooted myself in the foot hard yesterday. Feels bad...

Anyway I'll probably go out Friday and try to pull some bird, if I get a bit better.
I'm kinda busy since I'm organizing some random ass game tournament for the silly strategy game I play online, that's been fun so far.
Saturday my girl comes back from her trip and I have two anniversary parties to attend to, that's gonna be hectic :X (hopefully it all goes well and it's fun, I would be 100% fine just chilling with my girl at home, she must be tired from the trip as well).
Until next time then!

 

[Beck Bass]

Still a bit sick, my girl travelled again, this time to north of our country, we saw each other Monday (and over the weekend) and it was very passionate (her deepthroat skills are probably the best of any girl I've fucked at this point hehe). We went to a friend's birthday party on Saturday and it was a bit weird, my girl doesn't quite get along too much with some of my friends, including birthday man, and he saw me making out with other chicks at the club (he didn't knew I have an "open-ish" relationship so I guess she thought I was just being shitty and cheating on my girl while she's out, weirdish vibes, but I didn't feel like explaining too much for him).

I'm messaging the green eyed girl from the club again today, a week after the last messages, and she's responding quite well. Mostly just rapport building, but she let me know she's up for a coffee sometime. She's working this whole weekend though which is a bummer, maybe I can get her to meet me tomorrow or Friday but dunno, I'm chill.

I didn't work today as I had a little sinusitis attack. It was good because it went away quite quickly and I could rest and work on other stuff. I'm making a little trailer for this tournament I'm organizing, I'm gonna be casting the games on videos on YouTube, should be some fun.
I'm still coughing quite a bit and I guess I shouldn't be taking any alcohol for a week (antibiotics), so that's that. No idea if I'll go out clubbing on the weekend, Sunday it's Dad's day here in Brazil, so it's gonna be family time.

 

[Beck Bass]

Last nite I went out with the boys, Mr. P and Ace (Atourney). We were at a cool bar having some cocktails, then went to this bar with young kids and a dancefloor (clubbish vibes) and lots of shots. We had this "spanish bombing" where they give you a bunch of shots in a row and in between then they hit your head with crazy shit (while you wear construction helmets lol). Kinda fun but the boys had their bags with them and there was no place to put them there, so they left em on the ground on some corner of the bar and we were kinda stuck there taking care of it. Some fine birds but almost all in couples, seems like a bad night to go out tbh.

We then left, had some burgers and went to this other gay club we used to go. It was very empty, but there were some fine looking girls, problem is they were all lesbians for the most part. I approached one and she was kinda weird about it but whatever, I thought I approached the wrong one because her girlfriend looked hotter but tbh both were kinda chubby and not very cute lmao. I also approached a cute blondie that was there with 4 friends in a circle, but I took to long. She said she had a boyfriend (later I was like "should have told her I have a girlfriend as well" to the boys), maybe I just took too long and her seeing me talking to the weird lesbo didn't help. There was some other shorter smaller bleached blonde girl dancing crazy on the floor, I wanted to approach her but her energy was just too much, there was not like 3 seconds of her chilling so I could go in lol. At the end we left and she kinda looked at me with puppy eyes but I wouldn't go back, I was too tired at this point.

It was fun being with the boys but they rarely approach any girls so I feel like they are anchoring me a bit too much into not approaching. Tonight I think I'll go out solo and try to pull from one of the clubs I always go.

 

[Beck Bass]

Saturday I went solo to the club. During the day I went to the park and rode my longboard around, some cuteish girls but I always think they might be underage, no way to know in what ballpark of age they are on thise places lmao

I didn't talk very much during the day, I live alone and I saw my parents and my brother on the afternoon on the park, but then I got pretty "rusty" socially. Still, I wouldn't run away, I didn't have much to do at home so I figured I would try my luck at the usual "gay" club where I pulled most girls I did before (though last times it was indeed quite gay). I actually was thinking of going to this other club, that is a "revival" of the first club where I learned night game, but last time I went there it was quite different, didn't quite like the vibe (maybe I should have gone just to see how it was, but I didn't want to "waste" this outing as soon my girl will be back and I'll want to spend more time with her, since she's been travelling so much).

Anyway I got to the club kinda soon, it opens at 10PM and I was there 10 and a half a think, there's already a bunch of people in. Quite some hotties, but girls are all in groups, many with dudes. I'm thinking it must be a seasonal thing because it was kinda cold here, probably the last cold weeks of the year, since winter is going away, and people in this city get very lazy when it's cold like that. But yeah, last weeks have been quite shit for night game, not gonna lie, if I didn't pull much this year from it I would join the people complaining right now lol

I drink a bit, I'm feeling a bit anxious, weird feeling, it's been so long I've gone out alone. Anyway the few interactions I have are pretty decent, some gay dude approaches me, I just have some small talk with him and get a cigarette from his friend lol, might as well use this for something. Asian girl I banged is on the club, this is one of the reasons I was debating going as well, last time she was there I didn't pull her and she was acting weird, she saw me with my hands on chubby girl's thighs at my friend's birthday. She's organizing some peer pong thing where you actually drink shots, I'm a bit nervous so I figured free alcohol would be good, but I wait quite a lot to drink some (I do have some banter and light touching with the girl I'm palying with, but she's not really my type or worth pursing hehe). Asian girl is polite to me but then kinda disappears and ignores me afterwards, to be fair the sex was pretty generic (I would even say below average, oral skills lacking a lot, her body wasn't that hot and she wouldn't even cum), whatever, she also just straight up lies to me on my fucking face about my girlfriend, this girl is messed up, dunno (did she really think she could steal me from my girl?).

I see a girl in a group with dudes, she's quite hot, think Jynx Maze but cuter/beautyfuller lol, she's eyefucking me hard, I thought one of the dudes with her was her boyfriend, but fuck it, she almost throwing herself at me. I go in and ask her if the guy by her side is her boyfriend, she's like naah, I just look in her eyes and I can tell it's on, though I figured it likely would just be a make out, it was soon, around midnight, and the momentum could help me, so we talk gibbirish for half a minute and we start eating each other's faces. She's horny af, I'm squeezing her ass and holding her face kinda roughly and she seems to like it, we make out for like 3 minutes of something, I'm trying to hold back a little and tease her, but it's too good to kiss her and I know this likely won't lead to anything afterwards anyway, so i just enjoy making out with her. After we are done, I hear one of her guy friends saying something like "ooh you couldn't resist not making out with him, huh?", later I see she's kissing some other dude in her circle, I don't stick around too much because I think I suggested something sexual to her after kissing and she was like nah I'm good here so I was like, nexxxxxt

After that though I'm kinda stuck, girls are too into their little groups and most seem to be with some dude, I'm also losing my momentum, I think of leaving early, but I try sticking around as much as possible, but around 3PM I'm like nah I'm going home. I promised myself I would approach some bleached blond girl with big boobs but there's a weird guy in her group, that seems to be the boyfriend of her friend, kinda boxing me out, like legit I would come a bit closer and he would rotate around to give me his back and keep me distant from their group, dunno wtf was happening. There was also some other blonde chick that was kinda looking at me the whole time, but not really, you know those girls that are looking in your direction the whole fucking time but never ever look directly towards you, like make eye contact? That pisses me off lmao. I hear her say something to the guy with her about some guy not approaching and her getting mad, maybe she's talking about me, I mean, likely she's, but her way of actting was really unnerving me, also at first I thought this guy was her boyfriend, she keeps talking so much to him, but now I think it was just a friend, maybe even gay (or not, dunno, don't care tbh).

It was cool that managed to go out solo and at least have some fun but it was also a bit tiring and the girls were acting like aliens, like even the girl I made out with seem like her group was some group sex thing where everyone makes out and bangs with everyone, I'm like wtf man, not to mention the weird girls and the bitter Asian, I'll be avoiding this club from now on.

UPDATE: I think I might have a date with the green eyed girl from last time I was in this club with Jesus boy at Wednesday. I was texting her just now and it seems like she's free at Wednesday. Let's go babyyyy!