Are we retarded for doing cold approach?

[donjuan77]

It has got to be the most difficult thing on the planet to do. There are obviously less gut wrenching ways to meet women. Overcoming the stranger barrier can be a bitch. The losses ALWAYS outweigh the wins, and usually by a large margin. And the less things you have working in your favor, the worst off you'll be. So it begs the question, why the f--- do we do it? Are we retarded?

You gotta admit, some PUAs act like their on the spectrum.

 

[Warped Mindless]

Weird influx of guys thinking cold approach is dumb/weird/doesn’t work/retarded etc.

In the business world people say the same thing about cold calls and direct mail. Yet businesses use to to make millions a year.

Here is a tip: cold approach is fine. The problem is you.

You can blame cold approach or you can admit you suck at game (no shame, we have all been there) and get better.

 

[Francis]

Online is not real life and is a modern anomoly. The alternative is social circle, which is really just a crutch.

So all "cold approach" means is meeting women on your own. Why would you not want to be able to dp that??

 

[donjuan77]

Weird influx of guys thinking cold approach is dumb/weird/doesn’t work/retarded etc.

In the business world people say the same thing about cold calls and direct mail. Yet businesses use to to make millions a year.

Here is a tip: cold approach is fine. The problem is you.

You can blame cold approach or you can admit you suck at game (no shame, we have all been there) and get better.

Never said it didn't work but even the people that supposedly have game have it ruff a lot of the time because its the nature of the beast.

And btw, do you cold approach? Or do lays just fall on your lap?

 

[Francis]

Never said it didn't work but even the people that supposedly have game have it ruff a lot of the time because its the nature of the beast.

And btw, do you cold approach? Or do lays just fall on your lap?

Are you asking if girls do the opening?? That is rare. They will hover around you if anything, but you have to be the one to say something first or they will slink off looking rejected.

Man penetrates, woman receives.

 

[donjuan77]

Online is not real life and is a modern anomoly. The alternative is social circle, which is really just a crutch.

So all "cold approach" means is meeting women on your own. Why would you not want to be able to dp that??

Not true. There is volunteering, taking yoga classes, dance dances, or any other social activity where women will be for a more "warm" approach setting where the people aren't complete strangers to one another.

 

[Francis]

Not true. There is volunteering, taking yoga classes, dance dances, or any other social activity where women will be for a more "warm" approach setting where the people aren't complete strangers to one another.

Yes, social circle

 

[donjuan77]

Are you asking if girls do the opening?? That is rare. They will hover around you if anything, but you have to be the one to say something first or they will slink off looking rejected.

Man penetrates, woman receives.

No I was asking if @Warped Mindless does cold approach (like regularly) or if pussy just grows on trees for him.

 

[donjuan77]

Yes, social circle

I guess. But I thought a social circle referred to a group of friends.

 

[Francis]

No I was asking if @Warped Mindless does cold approach (like regularly) or if pussy just grows on trees for him.

Are you asking if girls open him?

 

[Francis]

I guess. But I thought a social circle referred to a group of friends.

A class is a social environment where she has evaluated you in the context of a group that knows each other. Warm approach.

Cold approach is simply meeting women who do not know who you are. How is that retarded?

 

[James D]

It IS one of the most difficult things to do.

But the wins faaaaaaar outweigh the loses.

It's not even close.

I met a beautiful, sexy woman via cold approach around 5 weeks ago.

Since sleeping together, she returned to her home country and sent me plane tickets to visit her 3 times already.

Had some pretty life changing experiences, including a threesome she organised with her bestie.

Too busy to write the reports but yeah, that would not even be within my reality had I not have the balls to approach her on the street, in broad daylight, risking rejection and everything else men dread with cold approach.

If you can stomach the pain, you'll get the rewards.

 

[donjuan77]

It IS one of the most difficult things to do.

But the wins faaaaaaar outweigh the loses.

It's not even close.

I met a beautiful, sexy woman via cold approach around 5 weeks ago.

Since sleeping together, she returned to her home country and sent me plane tickets to visit her 3 times already.

Had some pretty life changing experiences, including a threesome she organised with her bestie.

Too busy to write the reports but yeah, that would not even be within my reality had I not have the balls to approach her on the street, in broad daylight, risking rejection and everything else men dread with cold approach.

If you can st

Well good for you. More stories of sexcapades I will prob never get to experience despite my best efforts, which is the worst part part of it.

 

[Adventurer]

Well good for you. More stories of sexcapades I will prob never get to experience despite my best efforts, which is the worst part part of it.

What's the point of this post? What are you trying to accomplish?

You're on the best platform to learn cold approch, with both a very detailed road map to learn it (in one of the most recent articles no less) AND absolute proof that learning this skill is worth the trouble. Sounds like it's time to stop bitching on the internet and go outside do some approaches

If it was easy, everyone would do cold approach all the time and it would be worthless. This is the definition of the barrier to entry.

 

[James D]

Well good for you. More stories of sexcapades I will prob never get to experience despite my best efforts, which is the worst part part of it.

Yeah man, it is what it is.

Some men push through the pain and learn a skill that'll give them experiences of multiple lifetimes.

Some don't, and that's okay.

Not everyone is meant to be Don Juan after all (pun intended given your username)

Best of luck on your journey!

There are other less painful ways to get laid although you may not find them as rewarding.

Failing all that, no town ever runs out of prostitutes so there's that

 

[Will_V]

It has got to be the most difficult thing on the planet to do. There are obviously less gut wrenching ways to meet women. Overcoming the stranger barrier can be a bitch. The losses ALWAYS outweigh the wins, and usually by a large margin. And the less things you have working in your favor, the worst off you'll be. So it begs the question, why the f--- do we do it? Are we retarded?

You gotta admit, some PUAs act like their on the spectrum.

It's very hard to stick with cold approach (particularly daygame) unless you really love doing it.

In social circle, you don't have to approach, you just organically talk to her often. In night game, you have your guys and you've got alcohol, and besides, every guy is shooting his shots. In online, you swipe and hope, and a rejection isn't really a rejection.

But in daygame, you're in a social environment with lots of people around, and you're going up to a girl you've never met. Nobody else is approaching, just you. If you fumble, you're 'it' (lol).

If you can't find a way to turn that into some kind of fun (and I don't mean the crazy 'social freedom' nonsense, but actually having fun just being a guy doing what other guys can't or won't) then it's like some kind of groundhog day where you're forced to relive the same unpleasant experience over and over again.

I look at cold approach as social theater, and I see myself as an actor in a musical. A good performance always requires exceptional presence and embodiment. Everything I do is for the self-expression of the character I play, which is myself. It's an attempt to convert the ordinary into the extraordinary, for no other reason than to create something beautiful, really. If a girl won't participate, it doesn't change the beauty or meaning of what I'm doing, it just means she won't be part of it. Another girl will. And we'll make something really fun and fantastic.

If you're thinking "I just want to grind my way through a billion approaches and hopefully get a hot girlfriend before I lose my mind", well, it's probably going to grind down your energy, your self-esteem, your overall attractiveness, and consequently your results, long before you actually can't take it anymore. And that's not fun.

Can you see, in your mind's eye, a guy who can walk up to women in a way that other people either admire, or at least think 'he's a cool guy, looks like they know eachother'? Can you see that guy being chill, being smooth, calm, relaxed, piquing her interest, arousing her curiosity, making her think 'I like his vibe, I want to know more about him'? Nothing weird, nothing pushy, nothing awkward. The sort of thing that makes other people look on in fascination, with a knowing smile.

Your job is to close the gap between yourself and that guy. And in doing so, you'll become neither who you were nor that guy you idealize, but who you really can be, which is what women will love you for.

 

[AspiringStoic]

It has got to be the most difficult thing on the planet to do. There are obviously less gut wrenching ways to meet women. Overcoming the stranger barrier can be a bitch. The losses ALWAYS outweigh the wins, and usually by a large margin. And the less things you have working in your favor, the worst off you'll be. So it begs the question, why the f--- do we do it? Are we retarded?

@donjuan77

This really puzzles me. Its clear that you want some form of validation for your stance that cold approach is not worth it, its too difficult, its retarded to do etc. But the part that is puzzling is why the hell would you come to a forum that is dedicated to pickup where a majority of guys are doing cold approach and are having/have had a lot of success from it to get validation that cold approach is retarded? Like wtf?

If you want that belief validated so you can quit cold approach and move on to something else, you can get that view validated on ANY other forum apart from this one. Why not try one of the million redpill, manosphere blogs or the hundreds of cold approach does not work or cold approach is low value videos available nowadays on YouTube. You will get ample confirmation of your views there and then you can happily move on to whatever else it is that you think is the better way to meet girls.

 

[Warped Mindless]

@donjuan77

Fair to say there is a gap between where you are now and where you want to be in terms of success with women?

If “yes”…

Is it fair to say that cold approach is one way to help close that gap?

If cold approach is something you find stupid and not worth doing… will complaining about it help you close the gap and get you to your goals?

If you decide cold approach is a good avenue to go down, will complaining about how retarded it is help you close the gap and achieve your goals?

Either way, I don’t see how complaining about it helps your achieve your goals with women.

If you hate cold approach you don’t need us to validate your choices. Stick with online or social circle.

 

[bgwh]

I have to admit this paradox is the weirdest thing I've experienced in my life. Cold approach was the most difficult and unsurmountable thing for me for a good 20 years. And then magically it flipped and now magically it's opposite. I'm addicted to approaching and every stunner hooks and starts gushing (until I auto reject).

So it's a paradox because both views of cold approach are true, depending on the switch inside your brain. And honestly I'm not sure anyone has figured out a way to flip that switch in people's heads reliably.

 

[ulrich]

The losses ALWAYS outweigh the wins, and usually by a large margin.

Only if you count a loss as weighing the same as a win.
Like one girl brushing you off is equal to you getting to fuck one girl that you chose… I hardly see how can you put the same weight on those.

Anything worth doing in life is going to require obsessive focus, getting out of your comfort zone and risking shame.

Is it retarded to lift the same weight 1,000 times just so you get some muscles?
Is it retarded to wake up early in the morning to run 10K?
Is it retarded to call people you don’t know to sell them stuff?
Is it retarded to start a blog/Youtube/Insta channel and talk to people who don’t know you at all?
Is it retarded to spend two years writing and revising multiple times the same book before publishing?
Is it retarded to talk to women you don’t know?

I guess all of them look weird to a third party… I also guess that most of those third parties don’t even care.

If you want to avoid “looking weird” or “autistic” at all, you can always choose to do nothing of worth.
In that sense, I suppose the only things where you don’t risk looking like an idiot is getting a college degree, then an office job and spend your time watching Netflix.

So… it begs the question, would you like to do something of worth?
Or prefer to not risk your reputation at all?
You can’t have it both ways.