Cultivating the X Factor

[Beam]

Bro could you give us some pointers on how you approach - like what you use as openers and what you stack with post-opener?

IIRC you were saying something like: "Has anyone ever told you you have a great sense of style?" am I correct?

The first thing I try to do is pre-open – make sure that I’m in her sight first. Something I’m still working on. As for the actual approach, it varies depending on the situation. Generally I like situational openers best. If there is no good situational opener, a comment on what she is wearing/her style/something else about her. Lastly if I can’t think of anything else (she might be beautiful but just wearing normal clothes, nothing exceptional), or she’s walking past and about to disappear forever, I’ll go direct. For the latter two, if we're walking past each other in opposite directions, I'll walk past her and then jog back, as if I've had time to think about it and decided I want to talk to her (as opposed to just straight opening her which might make her think you do this to every hot girl walking past)

Some examples of how I do it:

1. Situational

Infinite options here, it’s different every time

B: "Aren't you cold? I'm wearing a jacket and I'm freezing"
B: "Hey, do you know where the milk is around here?" while in the supermarket directly in front of the milk - then transitioning direct "just kidding, I saw you and thought you were cute"

2. Style opener:

B: “Hey! Girl in the black dress!” (In a commanding yet non-threatening tone) - stop, pause while she registers you
B: “I saw you walking past, and thought to myself “that girl has such a great sense of style, I have to go back and find out who she is. I’m loving the all black”

3. Direct opener (for when I can’t think of anything else, actually used this word for word with my ex and a lot of others:

B: “Hey! Girl in the *whatever she’s wearing* (Again, in a commanding non-threatening tone) - stop, pause while she registers you
B: “I saw you walking past, and thought to myself “that girl is gorgeous, I have to go back and find out who she is.”

For the second and third examples I always frame it with her in the third person – “Thought to myself that girl”. Not sure why I like it, but perhaps it builds more trust when you relay the thoughts going through your head. I like doing it this way.

From here she’ll usually thank you.

Then, immediately I’ll transition to the next golden question (taken from Hectors DG course), simply asking her what she’s doing:

“Going for a walk?”

“Browsing to find out what to cook tonight?”

Purpose of this is to demonstrate that you want to talk to her, that you weren’t just giving her a compliment and then going on your way.

Next will generally exchange names, and then roughly try to hit the following points in the course of the interaction (which is around 5-7 minutes) @GrandPooba put this together initially, I have added a couple of things.

• Three deep dives (where she works, what she enjoys, where she's from. Try to make an observational cold read on these to make the interaction a bit more interesting.
• Two qualifiers (single complement on style/appearance, second on personality). Never two on the same topic. Style/Appearance is already sorted on the opener generally, the second is after talking to her for a bit.
• Share some details about yourself so she knows you on some level, so you aren’t just a random stranger.
• Push Pull (if she says something that you might not like even in the slightest bit, exaggerate that you hate it and walk away “conversation over” in a jokey way before returning with a smirk
• We frame (Date idea, idea of us doing something together to plant that idea in her mind)
• Chase frame
• Elicitation of values and deep rapport
• Close physical proximity throughout the entire interaction
• Double cheek kiss goodbye (to establish more physical contact)
• Energetic open yet grounded presence throughout interaction. Deep voice.

I have a lot to improve upon, I don’t hit all these points most of the time (including yesterdays number close. But for me it’s a good benchmark to work towards. Would love to here if anyone else has anything that would be useful to add

 

[Bismarck]

Gonna try these angles out Beam thanks for the info.

 

[Skills]

The first thing I try to do is pre-open – make sure that I’m in her sight first. Something I’m still working on. As for the actual approach, it varies depending on the situation. Generally I like situational openers best. If there is no good situational opener, a comment on what she is wearing/her style/something else about her. Lastly if I can’t think of anything else (she might be beautiful but just wearing normal clothes, nothing exceptional), or she’s walking past and about to disappear forever, I’ll go direct. For the latter two, if we're walking past each other in opposite directions, I'll walk past her and then jog back, as if I've had time to think about it and decided I want to talk to her (as opposed to just straight opening her which might make her think you do this to every hot girl walking past)

Some examples of how I do it:

1. Situational

Infinite options here, it’s different every time



2. Style opener:



3. Direct opener (for when I can’t think of anything else, actually used this word for word with my ex and a lot of others:



For the second and third examples I always frame it with her in the third person – “Thought to myself that girl”. Not sure why I like it, but perhaps it builds more trust when you relay the thoughts going through your head. I like doing it this way.

From here she’ll usually thank you.

Then, immediately I’ll transition to the next golden question (taken from Hectors DG course), simply asking her what she’s doing:



Purpose of this is to demonstrate that you want to talk to her, that you weren’t just giving her a compliment and then going on your way.

Next will generally exchange names, and then roughly try to hit the following points in the course of the interaction (which is around 5-7 minutes) @GrandPooba put this together initially, I have added a couple of things.

• Three deep dives (where she works, what she enjoys, where she's from. Try to make an observational cold read on these to make the interaction a bit more interesting.
• Two qualifiers (single complement on style/appearance, second on personality). Never two on the same topic. Style/Appearance is already sorted on the opener generally, the second is after talking to her for a bit.
• Share some details about yourself so she knows you on some level, so you aren’t just a random stranger.
• Push Pull (if she says something that you might not like even in the slightest bit, exaggerate that you hate it and walk away “conversation over” in a jokey way before returning with a smirk
• We frame (Date idea, idea of us doing something together to plant that idea in her mind)
• Chase frame
• Elicitation of values and deep rapport
• Close physical proximity throughout the entire interaction
• Double cheek kiss goodbye (to establish more physical contact)
• Energetic open yet grounded presence throughout interaction. Deep voice.

I have a lot to improve upon, I don’t hit all these points most of the time (including yesterdays number close. But for me it’s a good benchmark to work towards. Would love to here if anyone else has anything that would be useful to add

Ha! Reminds me of back in the day when i got started,

"Girl with the red dress, girl with the red dress" with a fake deep voice to get their attention, the black natural i learned from used to do that a lot....good stuff beam..

P.s. the question follow by nevermind just wanted to meet u blah blah, is not situational more like bait and switch opener works well....

 

[Beck Bass]

For the second and third examples I always frame it with her in the third person – “Thought to myself that girl”. Not sure why I like it, but perhaps it builds more trust when you relay the thoughts going through your head. I like doing it this way.

I think it's cool, you put the girl less on the spotlight, less chance she feels startled, I think.

is not situational more like bait and switch

Yeah it's indirect direct, as Chase calls it

Double cheek kiss goodbye (to establish more physical contact)

How do you go for this? Here in Brazil I guess it's more of a girls thing, I think if I try, when I'm going to give the second one, she's already turning her head and I might kiss something else... Could go well, or not, dunno lmao

 

[Beam]

P.s. the question follow by nevermind just wanted to meet u blah blah, is not situational more like bait and switch opener works well....

Yeah I sort of paused before using that example because I wasn't sure, thank for the clarification.

 

[Beam]

I used to do it almost every night lol, helped me sleep, but lately I've been so busy I don't need much of anything to sleep, so maybe each 2, 3 days, depends (if I'm seeing my girl often I won't even do it).
I'm kinda sick atm so I managed to get one out this morning, makes my mind feel like I'm not tooo sick you know hehe

I'm at once a night average but have cut down in the last couple of days. It's been hard (literally lol)

How do you go for this? Here in Brazil I guess it's more of a girls thing, I think if I try, when I'm going to give the second one, she's already turning her head and I might kiss something else... Could go well, or not, dunno lmao

So a confession, this particular part I was still in the process of field testing myself when I got into the relo - but I did get the suggestion from a seduction channel - I think it was HonestSignalz. The couple of times I did it the girls were a little surprised. I did it in a more exaggerated, almost flamboyant way (picture someone doing an exaggerated "mwuh" kiss sound when doing it) with a sly smile at the end rather than one you'd do at a family gathering. I think it was well received but need to field test more - I think that's how HonestSignalz did it but need to look again as it's been a while.

Even here in Australia it's more of a girls thing - maybe it's showing a touch of feminine which could be sexy. See this article. This is speculation and take it with a grain of salt, I need to field test more.

 

[Beam]

Went out with some mates last night. Was pretty dead for the most part. Earlier in the night opened a few tables where the girls looked at me like I was a freak and clearly just wanted to go back to talking to their friends. Feelsbadman. Getting such dismissive reactions from these women after working out like a madman ,wearing my new style of clothes (which my guy friends have complimented me on) and feeling open and warm feels like shit. Though there's probably something they're sniffing out on my approach. In fact now I write it out it's clear. I'm expecting a good reaction rather than going into it not caring about the outcome. One of my biggest struggles.

Later on, started warming myself up a bit and went to the d floor with two mates. Two girls introduced themselves to me - they were both close and one was literally throwing herself at me (reached for my dick within 1 minute and wherever I was would appear in front and back right into me. She was clearly drunk though which was a shame because she was super cute.

Last place we went to had a d-floor and pool tables. Opened two girls sitting near the pool table and they were polite but nothing more. Then my mate and I started playing pool against the guys they were with (who had been playing when I approached them). I was on fire and noticed when I would sink impressive shots the girls would just be staring at me afterwards with that look. Lol. A bunch of others nearby were dancing and one in particular would come up right in front of me dancing and staring while I was angling the shot. She was clearly an attention seeker though. Ended up winning but by then we were all buggered and left.

 

[Beam]

Style upgrade -more jewellery. Started doing this with a single necklace ages ago . Last night decided to add a second necklace and ring I had lying around. Went out - IOIs like crazy from the moment I walked out the door. Met up with a group - strong signs of attraction from the girls in the group but the one I really had my eye on (who I also noticed kept trying to get closer to me) had a boyfriend (my mate told me this - I spent a lot of time talking to her but didn't find this out - obviously that's a problem - could have spent that time on other available girls. Need to screen for this early.

My ego started getting in the way. This always happens when I suddenly start getting much more attention. I start acting like an aloof hot guy not talking to as many people instead of being open and making an effort and talking to as many people as possible. I don't know what it is - it's like I want to maintain an image - I'm afraid that with all eyes on me I'll look extra foolish if blown out. My ego needs to be destroyed because it is holding me back like crazy.

A while back in this post I told a story of how I wore a disco outfit out last year and felt like a celebrity, and trying to think of ways to stand out like that normally. Last night based on the positive response I learnt that jewellery and other accessories can play a big part in that (well deep down I knew that, I just didn't believe I could really rock the look but I proved myself wrong) As a result I went out today and bought some more jewellery (watch, ring and bracelets).

5 DG approaches today:

1. Girl in activewear. Not getting too much back - by the end it was like I was interrogating her to get anything out. 5 mins all up.
2. Walking in front of me. Didn't see her face but she looked hot from behind. Opened (startled her by accident) but noticed she was not really that cute. I felt bad ejecting because she seemed genuinely flattered and I feel expected me to keep talking. I didn't want to for fear of missing out on other opportunities.
3. Had a boyfriend - she looked familiar and had an almost knowing smile about her too - I feel like I might have approached her before, last year.
4. Stylish in all black. Fumbled open a bit. Wanted to keep the conversation going but she had to get to work. I told her "Tell them that you met an attractive and sexy man on the way over and that's why you were late, they'll understand". She laughed and told me I'd made her day but then left. Delivery of the last line could have been more commanding and playful - I sounded quite monotone when saying it.
5. Sitting down waiting for food. Super gorgeous tanned blonde in a leather jacket with tatts and piercings. Had quite a long conversation - but I was standing and she was sitting waiting for her friend to come back and there wasn't anywhere nearby to sit down so was quite awkward. She was an actress (without any roles yet apparently). Interaction was less man to woman - she was clearly the one with the power in the situation and I supplicated a bit "I won't be here too long". As if I was bothering her. Went for an insta at the end (knew number wouldn't work) but she still politely declined.

Still too time inefficient. Walked around for hours. Could have approached 20 girls in the time it took me to do 5. Especially now with so many other parts of my life that I neglected still being a problem, I need to really become more efficient and just talk to more damn girls instead of skipping out on so many opportunities. Fuck my ego

 

[Beam]

1 DG approach and number close yesterday, 5-8 minute interaction. No response to ice breaker again. Obviously something very wrong. She was cute, but I think Will Vs recent posts may explain it. I still am on some level seeing it like work, and most girls I see aren't as attractive as my ex was, there's less excitement from me as a result and they can probably tell I'm partly just going through the motions.

Edit: Harsh blowout today, was genuinely attracted to her but waited way too long (was on tram, we were facing each other but still in different booths, pussied out of going over to her on the tram then we got off at the same stop and I opened her then. It's the most popular stop to get off at but still, she probably thought I was stalking her)

Not in a good place right now, definitely have lost something over the last 8 months.

 

[Skills]

1 DG approach and number close yesterday, 5-8 minute interaction. No response to ice breaker again. Obviously something very wrong. She was cute, but I think Will Vs recent posts may explain it. I still am on some level seeing it like work, and most girls I see aren't as attractive as my ex was, there's less excitement from me as a result and they can probably tell I'm partly just going through the motions.

Edit: Harsh blowout today, was genuinely attracted to her but waited way too long (was on tram, we were facing each other but still in different booths, pussied out of going over to her on the tram then we got off at the same stop and I opened her then. It's the most popular stop to get off at but still, she probably thought I was stalking her)

Not in a good place right now, definitely have lost something over the last 8 months.

dude this is normal after a break up, your game gets worst, take it easy, eventually you will hit a hot streak again, no rush.... Take it easy.....

 

[Beam]

dude this is normal after a break up, your game gets worst, take it easy, eventually you will hit a hot streak again, no rush.... Take it easy.....

Good to know this is normal... I guess I usually hear about guys bouncing back after breakups by sleeping with other girls so it makes me think something is wrong when I'm having a tough time. Did three more after this - two polite but no interest, one left soon after (she was out to grab lunch and didn't want to chat)

More on mindset. Currently in a taking mindset rather than a giving mindset. Girls can sniff it on me. As if I am missing something and need their attention/validation (taking). Whereas my mindset should be - I have everything I need , and I want to give to the world. So, chest up, chin up, I go out into the world with my focus being on giving women a fun experience, an escape from their day to day lives. And if they don't want to play ball, no biggie. I had this mindset many times last year/earlier this year. But it hasn't been permanent. Aim now is to truly make this a part of myself and who I am.

How do I do this? I will use cues. Chin up chest up is the simplest one. Recalling my past successes is another one, as evidence that this capability exists within myself, I just have to channel it.

 

[Skills]

Good to know this is normal... I guess I usually hear about guys bouncing back after breakups by sleeping with other girls so it makes me think something is wrong when I'm having a tough time. Did three more after this - two polite but no interest, one left soon after (she was out to grab lunch and didn't want to chat)

More on mindset. Currently in a taking mindset rather than a giving mindset. Girls can sniff it on me. As if I am missing something and need their attention/validation (taking). Whereas my mindset should be - I have everything I need , and I want to give to the world. So, chest up, chin up, I go out into the world with my focus being on giving women a fun experience, an escape from their day to day lives. And if they don't want to play ball, no biggie. I had this mindset many times last year/earlier this year. But it hasn't been permanent. Aim now is to truly make this a part of myself and who I am.

How do I do this? I will use cues. Chin up chest up is the simplest one. Recalling my past successes is another one, as evidence that this capability exists within myself, I just have to channel it.

Again, after a break up usually what happens is your vibe is not really there, you are still not fully recover even if you think u are, even if you have other girls, sometimes you want a replacement of that girl so you are more needy, your vibe of getting girls is not really there, girl can feel this, and as your failing you feel even more worthless.... you can flip it and use it to your advanrage talk about how you just got out of a relationship, women love this, it will help you get into some relationship and seductive topics.

 

[Beam]

Stripping away all the bs and am deciding to just focus on some fundamentals as I am psyching myself out. I need to fundamentally change how I interact with hot women as my current approach comes across chasey.

1. Every time you go out, chin up and chest up. I tried this the other day and felt immediately more powerful.
2. Practice checking girls out with peripheral vision. I usually blatantly look when passing them and it's obvious, putting them in the position of power. I read Chases article on the proper way to check girls out and gave it a try. The only problem was it was hard to tell if the girls were pretty or not. But in the article I believe it says that when opening, if you focus on something that is not her looks (which I try to do anyway), it is easy to excuse yourself afterwards if she is not that cute while still having it be a genuine interaction (after all you did compliment her).
3. Exude positivity. Women love positive men. Before an approach, close your eyes, let positive emotions flood through you, then go in with a smile.

Night game:

My simple goal going forward. Focus on consistently approaching and reaching the hook point. Don't worry about further down the line for now, you are just psyching yourself out with how much you need to do. Simply getting to the hook point in NG is where I consistently falter and it is where I am going to divert 100% of my efforts, over the next couple of months if necessary. More structure is exactly what I need. Master one thing, then move to the next, then the next. Instead of throwing shit everywhere, losing focus and getting depressed.

 

[Beam]

DG

3 approaches yesterday. Again, focused on keeping myself grounded. Chin up, chest up. I felt relaxed, and everything seemed to slow down. I could think clearly, without any hint of anxiousness. I felt myself receiving many more IOIs. And noticed how in a hurry everyone else felt. It felt so childish in a way. I smiled to myself.

Deep relaxation. Completely comfortable in my environment. It felt powerful. It felt like I was a sun, that anyone talking to me would immediately be put at ease, feeling a calm relaxing break from their hectic lives. And it felt like I was the approver rather than the chaser. When seeing a girl, my attitude was less "she's hot, I need to talk to her" and more "that feminine beauty has caught my eye, I'd like to find out more, see if there's even more to her than that". This mindset translated to my body language, and removed any erratic, jerky movements. The approaches felt like a slow, deliberate, controlled coming together of two souls.

The approaches were all received warmly. One was running late to class and despite my persistence left. Next was a sexy flight attendant from Thailand who was flying out the next day but was with her friend. When the friend came back I chatted to them both and gracefully exited. Third in supermarket, laughed and was touching me however she had a boyfriend.

Being relaxed after the fact let me think more.

On the first, I asked her if she enjoyed what she was studying. Perhaps a more thought provoking question would have broken her out of autopilot some more - instead perhaps "What was the moment that first made you want to get into that field"

On the third - an earlier boyfriend screen. There's the old boyfriend screen when if she's going somewhere you ask "ah, with your boyfriend". But I forget this. So, maybe I might try something else when finding out what she does in her spare time - perhaps "What do you do with yourself, besides hanging out with your boyfriend?". Will try this next time.

On the way home, I felt this deep sense of happiness and ease. I saw a middle aged woman next to me at the light. She wasn't attractive, she looked stressed. But I felt a sense of love and care for her. Like how a parent would care for their child. It was surreal feeling this way about someone much older than me. Driving back I saw a woman walking on the sidewalk, her beautiful ass swinging side to side. Again, I felt a sense of love and care. But this time I also felt appreciation for her feminine beauty, and smiled as I imagined her bent over moaning while taking me.

NG

I've forgotten some simple things. Like remembering that you don't need outside signs of attraction and that in fact enthusiasm may actually mean she is less likely to go home with you. Compliance is the only thing that matters. Girls that give you no signs could be attracted. On Saturday a dude and two girls came to talk to me, complimenting me. I wasn't attracted to the girls. They didn't show any outward signs of any attraction either, they were quiet. One went to talk to my friends. The other stayed and gave no outward signs. Later on the dude and I were at the bar and he told me that the girl who had stayed with me pretty much was sold and that if I wanted her she was pretty much down. Shame I wasn't though.

Noticed a lot more stares out in general. Need to remember the "You can't look at me like that and not say anything" line to open communication. Optional extra "I'm not a piece of meat' with a smile. Will try next time.

 

[Beam]

Not much to report over the last week. Actually got sick for a couple days after my last entry so didn't approach, but got better Thurs and caught up with Marcellus (from this forum) for the first time. Super cool dude. We're both from the same city. We're planning on going out going forward.

Went to the snow over the weekend. I think it every time, but there are so many hotties who go to the snow it's actually ridiculuous. LIke, a massively concentrated area of naturally beautiful girls, and none would have been wearing makeup when I saw them. Just my type. Was preoccupied with snowboarding and my mates so didn't actually approach any - it felt a bit strange to in that environment but I really should. Planning on heading up more since I want to improve my snowboarding skills which still leave a lot to be desired.

Did 5 approaches yesterday.

1. Blowout, looked at me but didn't even stop. It was a weak open, I'm not sure if she even heard me.
2. On the corner was happy to talk, but was a bit distracted looking for a store. She'd gone to the snow over the weekend too, so I brought that up but she didn't seem interested in talking about it.
3. Flattered initially but didn't really want to talk, said she had to get home. I used the "What do you do with yourself, besides hanging out with your boyfriend" early, to which she responded "Fiance, actually". She was walking and clearly wanted me to leave, so I bid her farewell soon after that.
4. Another was meeting a friend for dinner and flying out the next day. Open was weak (said excuse me multiple times, even after I had her attention. She even said "I'm listening!" after I said it twice. Bad bad bad. When I found out logistics I told her "Ah, I suppose our little romance is not going to work then". Bid her farewell soon after.
5. In the supermarket. Flattered. Again, used "What do you do with yourself, besides hanging out with your boyfriend" to which she responded "I do actually have a boyfriend". And seemed sincere.

I wonder if this line is good. It's a screen sure, and easy to remember, but it's not the smoothest way to find out if she has a partner. Smoother is, like I said above, if she's going somewhere, asking "with your boyfriend?". It's less obvious I think than my line. But mine is easy to remember and easy to work into the conversation. I wonder if the girls response to it will always be sincere. The beauty of the "with your boyfriend" line is it somewhat catches her off guard so she may answer truthfully (these aren't my words, read it from tactics and techniques here). I don't think mine works as well because a) It may not catch her off guard and b) She doesn't even need to acknowledge that I said that. She may just tell me what she does and not even mention my "besides hanging out with your boyfriend" line, leaving me still not knowing.

But, right now it's 2 for 2 in screening for the boyfriend. Will field test a couple more times and see what sort of responses I get.

But this will have to be next week. I got COVID again today so will be in iso for the next week. And just when I had tentative plans set up with a cutie from Hinge on the weekend too. Ah well.

 

[Skills]

Not much to report over the last week. Actually got sick for a couple days after my last entry so didn't approach, but got better Thurs and caught up with Marcellus (from this forum) for the first time. Super cool dude. We're both from the same city. We're planning on going out going forward.

Went to the snow over the weekend. I think it every time, but there are so many hotties who go to the snow it's actually ridiculuous. LIke, a massively concentrated area of naturally beautiful girls, and none would have been wearing makeup when I saw them. Just my type. Was preoccupied with snowboarding and my mates so didn't actually approach any - it felt a bit strange to in that environment but I really should. Planning on heading up more since I want to improve my snowboarding skills which still leave a lot to be desired.

Did 5 approaches yesterday.

1. Blowout, looked at me but didn't even stop. It was a weak open, I'm not sure if she even heard me.
2. On the corner was happy to talk, but was a bit distracted looking for a store. She'd gone to the snow over the weekend too, so I brought that up but she didn't seem interested in talking about it.
3. Flattered initially but didn't really want to talk, said she had to get home. I used the "What do you do with yourself, besides hanging out with your boyfriend" early, to which she responded "Fiance, actually". She was walking and clearly wanted me to leave, so I bid her farewell soon after that.
4. Another was meeting a friend for dinner and flying out the next day. Open was weak (said excuse me multiple times, even after I had her attention. She even said "I'm listening!" after I said it twice. Bad bad bad. When I found out logistics I told her "Ah, I suppose our little romance is not going to work then". Bid her farewell soon after.
5. In the supermarket. Flattered. Again, used "What do you do with yourself, besides hanging out with your boyfriend" to which she responded "I do actually have a boyfriend". And seemed sincere.

I wonder if this line is good. It's a screen sure, and easy to remember, but it's not the smoothest way to find out if she has a partner. Smoother is, like I said above, if she's going somewhere, asking "with your boyfriend?". It's less obvious I think than my line. But mine is easy to remember and easy to work into the conversation. I wonder if the girls response to it will always be sincere. The beauty of the "with your boyfriend" line is it somewhat catches her off guard so she may answer truthfully (these aren't my words, read it from tactics and techniques here). I don't think mine works as well because a) It may not catch her off guard and b) She doesn't even need to acknowledge that I said that. She may just tell me what she does and not even mention my "besides hanging out with your boyfriend" line, leaving me still not knowing.

But, right now it's 2 for 2 in screening for the boyfriend. Will field test a couple more times and see what sort of responses I get.

But this will have to be next week. I got COVID again today so will be in iso for the next week. And just when I had tentative plans set up with a cutie from Hinge on the weekend too. Ah well.

the "with your boyfriend" does work, but you are being a bit lazy, it has to be more situational, hey are you grocery shopping to have a nice dinner with your boyfriend??? if she said she has bf is out, if she said "i don't have a boyfriend" you go reeeeeallly! and then you game..... it does work, just put more effort upfront in the situational aspect.

i hate excuse me i like deep commanding donald trump voice a bit 2 points higher voice than normal but no yelling Hey! excuse me is how the homeless open(submissive undertone)... the only time i use excuse me is for her to move out of the way and then open in a supermarket isle for example...

 

[Beam]

the "with your boyfriend" does work, but you are being a bit lazy, it has to be more situational, hey are you grocery shopping to have a nice dinner with your boyfriend??? if she said she has bf is out, if she said "i don't have a boyfriend" you go reeeeeallly! and then you game..... it does work, just put more effort upfront in the situational aspect.

Yeah, it is a bit lazy. That is a better way to work it in. Asking what she is doing and adding "with your boyfriend" in it in one punch, instead of asking her what she is doing, waiting for her to respond and then saying it. I like it.

i hate excuse me i like deep commanding donald trump voice a bit 2 points higher voice than normal but no yelling Hey! excuse me is how the homeless open(submissive undertone)... the only time i use excuse me is for her to move out of the way and then open in a supermarket isle for example...

I hate it too. It's a really bad habit I've gotten into. I used a commanding "hey" on the last one which felt a lot better.

 

[Beam]

Updates. Don't have Covid anymore so started going out again. Will be quick.

DG:
To summarize:

Pinpointed that I am afraid of approaching with lots of other people around and this is number one reason I am skipping out on sets now. As my DG time now consists solely of going out for an hour after work (at peak time), there are tons and tons of people around, so I am skipping on way more sets than I used to because of this. As a result it's been hard to build up the necessary momentum and I've not been having much success.
It makes more sense for me, right now, to go to less busy areas. While there will be less hot girls, the chances of me approaching are higher and so overall it will be a net positive. That being said, still need to be able to just go for it if I see a girl hot enough and damn everyone else.

Conversation wise, I've ironed out saying "Excuse me" again, and just saying "Hey". However am devolving into boring unstimulating conversation.

My energy, while being more grounded, is less playful than it used to be. Need to increase the playfulness factor and tone down the seriousness of the interactions.

Immediate conversation focus - Again, try asking her "what made you get into that" instead of "do you enjoy it". Wrote this in a recent journal entry but haven't had much time to practice it due to COVID.

NG:

To summarize. I get a ton of looks and smiles but after opening still don't get far into the convos.

Immediate focus: Build investment. A simple compliance demand soon after opening (lets move over here away from everybody). As an example, went out with Marcellus Saturday, got into a convo with a real hottie who I could tell was attracted. We were in the doorway. Didn't move her out of the way - which would have helped build some compliance. She was listening to me intently (because I'm a sexy mofo) but again, conversation was boring and unstimulating. She soon had to go back to her friends.

Online:

Miserable. I don't think my profile is being shown to many girls. Still just have that one girl who I had tentative plans for who is being flaky about meeting up.

 

[Beam]

Definitely feeling down lately but for a different reason. Coming out of the relo I had a new layer of confidence (and still do. It won't go away. It's nice having that relationship v-card checked off). The problem is I almost expected women would just be able to smell this out and be drawn to it. But that's not the case. In many ways I feel more invisible and taken less seriously than I ever have felt before, since before I even started learning all of this years ago. It doesn't help that I know of three guys (only one of which is in the game) who have recently gotten out of relationships who are going on plenty of dates and having sex (from online, which has been a desert for me).

This is contrasted by the fact that I feel my fundamentals are close to as good as they have ever been (and I know plenty of beautiful women find me appealing, with a hot blonde chick even saying I was gorgeous on Saturday (after initially opening Marcellus who looked like a superstar).

It's not a matter of not feeling enough. I feel like the man, I know my worth. Now it's more frustration that I'm having such a hard time conveying this to women. I feel like I'm coming to the realization that for me, maxing out my fundamentals still won't help lessen the work I need to do to attract a woman I want considerably. That I'm still at the point where I need to put in massive massive amounts of work, just to get anything even on a fraction of the level of woman I want. And that this will mean less time to spend on the other areas of my life that I am now much more keenly aware I have been neglecting. Part of the frustration is feeling like, like "I've put in so much work to date, I was hoping that by now I would be able to expend less effort to get girls now which would still allow me to progress other areas of my life". This stings the most in online tbh, after spending lots of money on having professional photos and completely revamping my profile, I had hoped it would be a nice passive way to get some leads. And it did initially, but now I am getting nothing. Still need to put in obscene amounts of time just for the bare minimum.

Somethings got to change. I want my lifestyle to be one which brings women into my life rather than having to go out constantly which is a massive time investment.

 

[Beam]

Mindset shift to cultivate- Looking at this like a sport. Having a calm detachment. Making improvements to increase odds but not stressing about the outcome. Just focusing on the process instead. Recovering quickly from failures and setbacks. Not allowing them to affect future performance. Having a short term memory and not allowing long term failure affect psyche.

The story of the British Cycling team told in Atomic Habits:

To demonstrate his point, he told the story of the British Cycling team, which for nearly 100 years had, as he puts it in his book, “endured nearly 100 years of mediocrity.” No British cyclist had won the Tour de France in that time, and the team had won one only a single gold medal at the Olympics.

Then a new coach, Dave Brailsford, was hired to turn the team around. His strategy was something he referred to as “the aggregation of marginal gains.”

As Clear explains it, that translated to instituting an ongoing series of 1 percent improvements in everything they did—from using biofeedback sensors to monitor how each athlete responded to a particular workout to hiring a surgeon to teach each rider the best way to wash their hands to reduce the chances of catching a cold.

The result: Within three years, British cyclists won the Tour de France—and then five out of six of the races in a row. And, at the next Olympics games in Beijing, the team won 60 percent of the gold medals available.

Embodies the pragmatic attitude which allows for eventual success.