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- Jan 17, 2019
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. Will make a full report.
- Joined
- Jan 17, 2019
- Messages
- 774
Boys, I'm still here.
Where to begin. First I'll give a general update of the end of last year/this year about what happened after sleeping with HBBlue, then go into the four pillars - DG, NG, Social Circle and Online and what's happened there.
So, haven't made the full post yet but basically, HBBlue went back to her regional town two days after I slept with her, until Jan 6th. A long ass time. The sex was not bad. I lasted quite a long time but came before she did. Unfortunately she had to get up early for work the next day so wasn't able to give her another round. When she left mine she wished me a merry christmas and new year. I knew she wasn't a big texter, but still, after previously not being warm enough to others I'd slept with I think I might have gone too far the other direction, texting her conversationally for a couple days (she was responding). I should have cut the thread while it was hot and told her to enjoy the trip and we'd get in touch when she got back, but instead the spacing between texts got slower and slower until it fizzled out and she didn't respond. Instead of persisting I let it go. I don't know, maybe at that point I could have said something like "Not a big texter, me neither" and then launched into the above "enjoy the trip".
After sleeping with her, I felt kind of empty. She was hot, my type to a T if you asked me to describe what my type was (tall, thin, pale, bright blue eyes, jet black hair). Had a raging boner after I initially approached her. But I didn't feel much satisfaction after the act. Because the process was so robotic. Like, date 1, drinks near mine, danced. She had to leave, I invited her for a drink at mine. Date 2, cocktails, TV, made out and then sex with no resistance. Like following a script, seeing a movie that you already know the ending to. Takes some of the excitement out.
Partly as a result of that feeling, my attention shifted away from seduction over the last month as I focused on christmas, catching up with family and friends, and other non-seduction related hobbies. But it's circling back around again now. That being said, a lot has happened:
NG:
This is where the bulk of my time has been devoted. Fridays and Saturdays. I have mainly going out with Gold, drinking way too fucking much though. He's been crushing it of course. Me, not so much.
Will say the oversized T-shirt and dog tag + Ripped Jeans combo has worked wonders for my social frame. I've gotten way more IOIs from very attractive (and sometimes very young) women than I ever got when I dressed more nicely. It's pretty much all I wear out now (with different colours). Makes me come across more rugged and masculine rather than clean.
Slowly, the conversations with are getting longer and longer (I'm talking minutes instead of almost instant blowouts, some of New Years were a lot longer than that too). I still have plenty of women just straight up walking away from me soon into the convo, which obviously sucks ass. But less chicks are blowing me out now and seem more open to actually listening to what I have to say. Still the interactions die out eventually. Even if she's interested at the start, it seems at some point in the interaction a switch flips and she loses interest. Thing is this happens pretty quickly. I know that you've got to build compliance and ramp it up, but I thought this would come after some more back and forth. Seems we're bantering back and forth but then she goes "I have to find my friends". Obviously it's not going as well as I think.
I've still been struggling with getting the approach numbers up though. Most girls I don't even bother because I'm like "I've been rejected by someone who looks like her x100 times before. Same thing is going to happen. But this tends to spiral and I end up not approaching ones who are giving me IOIs until I finally snap out of it. On a given night I probably talk to less than 10 girls. And most of those approaches are platonic and timid.
I've noticed that I have been more platonic and timid lately, even more than before, not touching her like a man. I think it's because of shitloads of trauma where my touch has not been well received. But in those situations it's because I was touching them in a clumsy, uncalibrated and definitely not sexy way (putting my arm around them etc).
Need to work on touch + compliance. Plus a sexy vibe as opposed to friendly.
DG
Haven't been doing much DG. Honestly have been a bit bored of it but coming back around.
Online:
Went on a date with a super cute tall blonde a couple days back. I was surprised because while we vibed and talked, she looked like she was pulling back for the most part physically. I was feeling a bit insecure about a bit of weight gain over the holiday period, so thought that maybe the physical attraction just wasn't there. I didn't end up sexualizing the convo too much as a result either (I find it way easier to sexualize when I can sense she is submissive and attracted). We get to the end after four hours, no kiss, barely any touching, we're waiting for her Uber and when it comes, I go for a kiss on the cheek fully expecting that I'm never going to see this chick again, but she comes in and kisses me fully with a smile, then keeps kissing me some more until I break it off with her saying "I'll see you soon!"
Mind fuck. I'm wondering whether she was feeling shy. There were times when she was sipping her drink and just staring at me throughout the night. These were the only signals in retrospect that I can recall. Obviously a good experience in developing my senses for when a chick is attracted even if it still is a bit of a head fuck.
Apart from that, haven't bothered much with online. There are a couple of cuties that I could message that I haven't gotten around to yet.
Social Circle:
Felt like the biggest chode. Went to a festival with a mate, he brought a friend of his who was this super bubbly attractive brunette a couple years older. But failed to flirt with her properly and build attraction and have been friend-zoned hard... Again, because of being timid.
Looking back at this all I've realized something. That I'm simply just uncomfortable moving things fast with women. Like, SNL fast. Part of me doesn't believe that she's ready to move things forward sexually then and there. I think this is why I preferred DG. I could have a conversation with light touch, get comfortable with her. Then in between grow more comfortable with the idea of meeting her in an environment that is safe and familiar for me (a bar near my house)
The idea of going straight for the close the night I meet the girl actually makes me deeply uncomfortable, getting a number is taking the easy option to avoid that discomfort.
Where to begin. First I'll give a general update of the end of last year/this year about what happened after sleeping with HBBlue, then go into the four pillars - DG, NG, Social Circle and Online and what's happened there.
So, haven't made the full post yet but basically, HBBlue went back to her regional town two days after I slept with her, until Jan 6th. A long ass time. The sex was not bad. I lasted quite a long time but came before she did. Unfortunately she had to get up early for work the next day so wasn't able to give her another round. When she left mine she wished me a merry christmas and new year. I knew she wasn't a big texter, but still, after previously not being warm enough to others I'd slept with I think I might have gone too far the other direction, texting her conversationally for a couple days (she was responding). I should have cut the thread while it was hot and told her to enjoy the trip and we'd get in touch when she got back, but instead the spacing between texts got slower and slower until it fizzled out and she didn't respond. Instead of persisting I let it go. I don't know, maybe at that point I could have said something like "Not a big texter, me neither" and then launched into the above "enjoy the trip".
After sleeping with her, I felt kind of empty. She was hot, my type to a T if you asked me to describe what my type was (tall, thin, pale, bright blue eyes, jet black hair). Had a raging boner after I initially approached her. But I didn't feel much satisfaction after the act. Because the process was so robotic. Like, date 1, drinks near mine, danced. She had to leave, I invited her for a drink at mine. Date 2, cocktails, TV, made out and then sex with no resistance. Like following a script, seeing a movie that you already know the ending to. Takes some of the excitement out.
Partly as a result of that feeling, my attention shifted away from seduction over the last month as I focused on christmas, catching up with family and friends, and other non-seduction related hobbies. But it's circling back around again now. That being said, a lot has happened:
NG:
This is where the bulk of my time has been devoted. Fridays and Saturdays. I have mainly going out with Gold, drinking way too fucking much though. He's been crushing it of course. Me, not so much.
Will say the oversized T-shirt and dog tag + Ripped Jeans combo has worked wonders for my social frame. I've gotten way more IOIs from very attractive (and sometimes very young) women than I ever got when I dressed more nicely. It's pretty much all I wear out now (with different colours). Makes me come across more rugged and masculine rather than clean.
Slowly, the conversations with are getting longer and longer (I'm talking minutes instead of almost instant blowouts, some of New Years were a lot longer than that too). I still have plenty of women just straight up walking away from me soon into the convo, which obviously sucks ass. But less chicks are blowing me out now and seem more open to actually listening to what I have to say. Still the interactions die out eventually. Even if she's interested at the start, it seems at some point in the interaction a switch flips and she loses interest. Thing is this happens pretty quickly. I know that you've got to build compliance and ramp it up, but I thought this would come after some more back and forth. Seems we're bantering back and forth but then she goes "I have to find my friends". Obviously it's not going as well as I think.
I've still been struggling with getting the approach numbers up though. Most girls I don't even bother because I'm like "I've been rejected by someone who looks like her x100 times before. Same thing is going to happen. But this tends to spiral and I end up not approaching ones who are giving me IOIs until I finally snap out of it. On a given night I probably talk to less than 10 girls. And most of those approaches are platonic and timid.
I've noticed that I have been more platonic and timid lately, even more than before, not touching her like a man. I think it's because of shitloads of trauma where my touch has not been well received. But in those situations it's because I was touching them in a clumsy, uncalibrated and definitely not sexy way (putting my arm around them etc).
Need to work on touch + compliance. Plus a sexy vibe as opposed to friendly.
DG
Haven't been doing much DG. Honestly have been a bit bored of it but coming back around.
Online:
Went on a date with a super cute tall blonde a couple days back. I was surprised because while we vibed and talked, she looked like she was pulling back for the most part physically. I was feeling a bit insecure about a bit of weight gain over the holiday period, so thought that maybe the physical attraction just wasn't there. I didn't end up sexualizing the convo too much as a result either (I find it way easier to sexualize when I can sense she is submissive and attracted). We get to the end after four hours, no kiss, barely any touching, we're waiting for her Uber and when it comes, I go for a kiss on the cheek fully expecting that I'm never going to see this chick again, but she comes in and kisses me fully with a smile, then keeps kissing me some more until I break it off with her saying "I'll see you soon!"
Mind fuck. I'm wondering whether she was feeling shy. There were times when she was sipping her drink and just staring at me throughout the night. These were the only signals in retrospect that I can recall. Obviously a good experience in developing my senses for when a chick is attracted even if it still is a bit of a head fuck.
Apart from that, haven't bothered much with online. There are a couple of cuties that I could message that I haven't gotten around to yet.
Social Circle:
Felt like the biggest chode. Went to a festival with a mate, he brought a friend of his who was this super bubbly attractive brunette a couple years older. But failed to flirt with her properly and build attraction and have been friend-zoned hard... Again, because of being timid.
Looking back at this all I've realized something. That I'm simply just uncomfortable moving things fast with women. Like, SNL fast. Part of me doesn't believe that she's ready to move things forward sexually then and there. I think this is why I preferred DG. I could have a conversation with light touch, get comfortable with her. Then in between grow more comfortable with the idea of meeting her in an environment that is safe and familiar for me (a bar near my house)
The idea of going straight for the close the night I meet the girl actually makes me deeply uncomfortable, getting a number is taking the easy option to avoid that discomfort.
Last edited:
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Oh yeah forgot to mention, I got into a fight on New Years...
So what happened was I approached this cute Brazilian chick. She's touching me and we talked for a a few minutes before I headed to find my mates on the dance floor, telling her I'd see her later. Later I see her talking with some tall big black dude. He didn't look like much of a threat (looked like a bit of a chode) and I'm like "I can't let this chode have her" so I go in to chat to her again, telling her we should go to the dancefloor. She's happy to see me but hesitant to leave. The dude starts going off at me: "Bro, why are you cockblocking me. You're a bitch. You're a little bitch". I'm not even acknowledging him, I still don't give a shit. I just tell him that we'd met earlier. "You want to go off with her, then go ahead, go ahead! I've already won". Yeah, sure bro, You've talked to her for five minutes and have already won. Whatever you say.
I'm just like "Ok" and go towards her. Dude puts his arm around me to stop me and says "listen bro, come here" and leads me to the bar where two of his friends are. I just assume he's going to have a man to man convo but instead he launches into a bullshit tirade.
"I'll fuck you up bro. I will fuck you up". Again, not listening, just dismissive. Don't take him seriously. I'm thinking he's just trying to intimidate me but won't actually do anything. I just couldn't take him seriously from his tone of voice, it just reminded me of a child.
THEN, out of nowhere, he puts me in a headlock and starts walking me towards the bathroom corridor. Pretty sure he was going to beat the shit out of me there but security came in a broke it up.
He snuck off somewhere after that and I saw him around trying to chat up more chicks later. I went back to Brazilian chick who was with her friends - she looked shocked and asked me what happened. I told her the dude got mad that I was talking to you and starting fighting me. They left soon after - I went back to try to dance with her later but she her and her friends understandably wanted nothing to do with me - from their perspective I was just the dude that got into a fight...
I'm surprised how I reacted in that situation. I was not scared at all, even while he was dragging me to the corridor. I think it might have been shock. Even then, after the fact whatever that dude wanted to achieve regarding intimidating me failed. I still think he's just a pathetic loser.
So what happened was I approached this cute Brazilian chick. She's touching me and we talked for a a few minutes before I headed to find my mates on the dance floor, telling her I'd see her later. Later I see her talking with some tall big black dude. He didn't look like much of a threat (looked like a bit of a chode) and I'm like "I can't let this chode have her" so I go in to chat to her again, telling her we should go to the dancefloor. She's happy to see me but hesitant to leave. The dude starts going off at me: "Bro, why are you cockblocking me. You're a bitch. You're a little bitch". I'm not even acknowledging him, I still don't give a shit. I just tell him that we'd met earlier. "You want to go off with her, then go ahead, go ahead! I've already won". Yeah, sure bro, You've talked to her for five minutes and have already won. Whatever you say.
I'm just like "Ok" and go towards her. Dude puts his arm around me to stop me and says "listen bro, come here" and leads me to the bar where two of his friends are. I just assume he's going to have a man to man convo but instead he launches into a bullshit tirade.
"I'll fuck you up bro. I will fuck you up". Again, not listening, just dismissive. Don't take him seriously. I'm thinking he's just trying to intimidate me but won't actually do anything. I just couldn't take him seriously from his tone of voice, it just reminded me of a child.
THEN, out of nowhere, he puts me in a headlock and starts walking me towards the bathroom corridor. Pretty sure he was going to beat the shit out of me there but security came in a broke it up.
He snuck off somewhere after that and I saw him around trying to chat up more chicks later. I went back to Brazilian chick who was with her friends - she looked shocked and asked me what happened. I told her the dude got mad that I was talking to you and starting fighting me. They left soon after - I went back to try to dance with her later but she her and her friends understandably wanted nothing to do with me - from their perspective I was just the dude that got into a fight...
I'm surprised how I reacted in that situation. I was not scared at all, even while he was dragging me to the corridor. I think it might have been shock. Even then, after the fact whatever that dude wanted to achieve regarding intimidating me failed. I still think he's just a pathetic loser.
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Hey man,
It's cool that you're active and detailed with this journal. It's a great instrument to keep track of things and to follow your progress in this here journey.
Onto some of your points. You were saying somewhere that you feel embarrassed about going sexual too fast. Maybe this has to do with your reference experiences. Not sure if you've ever done bathroom pulls or fucked girls in under 30 minutes. That plus the fact that you live in an anti-masculine feminist culture may make you wary (because one wrong touch could get you rape-whistled).
On my side, it's kind of the opposite, funnily enough. Like, I get bored in social circle-ey house parties where everyone knows each other from college or whatever and the girls act like they're money when they're just average, at best, and put on this theatre of primness and propriety that doesn't convince me for one second. I know all those girls have given up their chochas fast in some situation or other in the past. And I have absolutely no patience to play the "chatting platonic" game with them to then ask them for their phone number 6 hours in and have her ask her girlfriends if they approve of me so she knows whether she should go on one of three or more dates with me before giving me vanilla sex.
Re the incident with the black dude. I would just say be careful man. Perhaps try to go to less trashy events/parties, with less aggro vibes?
Keep it real brother!
/~Bizz
It's cool that you're active and detailed with this journal. It's a great instrument to keep track of things and to follow your progress in this here journey.
Onto some of your points. You were saying somewhere that you feel embarrassed about going sexual too fast. Maybe this has to do with your reference experiences. Not sure if you've ever done bathroom pulls or fucked girls in under 30 minutes. That plus the fact that you live in an anti-masculine feminist culture may make you wary (because one wrong touch could get you rape-whistled).
On my side, it's kind of the opposite, funnily enough. Like, I get bored in social circle-ey house parties where everyone knows each other from college or whatever and the girls act like they're money when they're just average, at best, and put on this theatre of primness and propriety that doesn't convince me for one second. I know all those girls have given up their chochas fast in some situation or other in the past. And I have absolutely no patience to play the "chatting platonic" game with them to then ask them for their phone number 6 hours in and have her ask her girlfriends if they approve of me so she knows whether she should go on one of three or more dates with me before giving me vanilla sex.
Re the incident with the black dude. I would just say be careful man. Perhaps try to go to less trashy events/parties, with less aggro vibes?
Keep it real brother!
/~Bizz
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There was no need to tell him anything. Someone who talks like that is already the lowest of the low.
Mistake right there. So what? He doesn't deserve a second of your time. You just let him lead you?
Otoh that girl does deserve your time and you are going to go over to her even if there's a whiny idiot giving you crap. Right?
I don't normally preach being "alpha" but wth, you shouldn't have taken one step into his frame.
- Joined
- Jan 17, 2019
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I've been lying on top of and making out with a chick within 15 minutes and had a girl give me head within 30 minutes (both in Thailand) but haven't fucked a girl that fast before.
My mind is funny. It knows on a logical level to move faster, that that is what works. I've done it before and nothing bad has happened. It's liberating to so freely express yourself. But there are blocks holding me back from being this way. Inhibitions. It's damn frustrating.
Also on the incident - it was a nice event on a rooftop and entry was $150. The music was afro/reggae - only thing is I love the music but yeah the crowd can be a bit rough around the edges..
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Agreed, even though I wasn't talking to him I was still paying attention to him over the girl. And yeah, letting him lead me was gay.
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@Beam,
Re: that fight situation -- usually unless the girl is signaling you it is best to let the dude burn himself out.
A bunch of social considerations here:
There are a lot of ways to peel girls off of guys without triggering the guy to get all territorial. The main one is by going in very chummy to the guy. It's easier with a wingman -- you both go in chummy, then after all introductions are made, the wingman occupies the guy, while you work on the girl. But even if you're solo, a lot of the time you can just go in and be cool and friendly and get the girl attracted while being cool enough with the guy that the guy sooner or later realizes he is not going to be able to compete and dips out.
The real thing here though is... why even intrude when Goofy Dude was talking to her? Just let him flame himself out, unless you were legitimately afraid he was going to pick her up (doesn't sound like it). It just gives yourself more work and introduces a wildcard you don't need to deal with. Plus it positions the girl as the prize two guys are competing for. Even if you win the competition... you are still just the "winner"; she is the "prize."
Better to let dude burn out, then a few minutes later you reopen her on far more even terms.
Also, I'd recommend this book for proper situational awareness:
The guy comes from nightlife (he was a bouncer at a dangerous, fight-prone club) and has really good tips on keeping out of dangerous situations.
It's a good thing everything ended well here and you weren't hurt. Club fights can be unpredictable though, especially when you've wounded a guy's pride. It's not just the girls you need to manage in your social environment -- it's the guys as well!
Chase
Re: that fight situation -- usually unless the girl is signaling you it is best to let the dude burn himself out.
A bunch of social considerations here:
- If it's a triangle where Guy A is talking to her and Guy B is pulling her away, it is still a case where "two guys are competing for her" --> i.e., she's the prize
- If you're going to go in and go right up to the girl and pretend like the guy talking to her isn't even there, when it's just her and him talking, it's disrespectful to him, and he's going to be insulted. When you go around insulting men, you can't know for sure how they'll react -- some will suck it up and slink off, tails between their legs; some might try to befriend you; but some will take offense and get into your face. If you want to approach a two-set, you need to address both people. e.g., "Hey babe, who's your new friend?" etc.
- If a guy who feels disrespected by you invites you to do anything with him, decline. "I'm okay, bro. Thanks." That's usually all you've got to say. Getting you to follow him around before he starts whooping you is one way for him to put himself into a more dominant position before the fight even starts, and you in the more submissive position, tipping the scales his way before you even reach the first blow
- If you get into a fight over a girl, you'd better beat the other guy's ass. I've seen a fair few fights over the years, read various reports on them, and been in some myself. Unless she's your girlfriend, if she is just some girl you are trying to pick up, if you both fight over her and you don't whip the other guy, she won't want you. So I guess the moral of the story is... don't disrespect dudes and challenge them to fights unless you're prepared to whoop them then go swoop the girl
There are a lot of ways to peel girls off of guys without triggering the guy to get all territorial. The main one is by going in very chummy to the guy. It's easier with a wingman -- you both go in chummy, then after all introductions are made, the wingman occupies the guy, while you work on the girl. But even if you're solo, a lot of the time you can just go in and be cool and friendly and get the girl attracted while being cool enough with the guy that the guy sooner or later realizes he is not going to be able to compete and dips out.
The real thing here though is... why even intrude when Goofy Dude was talking to her? Just let him flame himself out, unless you were legitimately afraid he was going to pick her up (doesn't sound like it). It just gives yourself more work and introduces a wildcard you don't need to deal with. Plus it positions the girl as the prize two guys are competing for. Even if you win the competition... you are still just the "winner"; she is the "prize."
Better to let dude burn out, then a few minutes later you reopen her on far more even terms.
Also, I'd recommend this book for proper situational awareness:
The guy comes from nightlife (he was a bouncer at a dangerous, fight-prone club) and has really good tips on keeping out of dangerous situations.
It's a good thing everything ended well here and you weren't hurt. Club fights can be unpredictable though, especially when you've wounded a guy's pride. It's not just the girls you need to manage in your social environment -- it's the guys as well!
Chase
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Didn't realise you read my journal Chase! Appreciate the response. I went in friendly and shook the guys hand, but I'm fairly sure when I was trying to get her to dance he cottoned on. But yes, will pay a lot more attention to read the situation - where the girl is at and where the guy is at, before going in next time. It is lucky I didn't get messed up (got a little scar on my neck but that was it)
That book looks fascinating. Putting it on my list to check out.
That book looks fascinating. Putting it on my list to check out.
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- Jan 17, 2019
- Messages
- 774
FR: Weekend
Friday:
Went out solo. Grabbed a jack and coke and chilled dancing for a little bit.
Approach 1: Opened an older woman whose friend was dancing enthusiastically to warm myself up -
Approach 2: Three set on dancefloor - one looking around with a bored look on her face. I open her.
Her friends laugh. I keep engaging - I tell them that I need company since my "friend" is running late and I don't want to seem like a loser (jokingly). One in the middle missed the joke (she was from Denmark so perhaps didn't understand" and said that she was out the last two weekends solo. I talked to her briefly about how much guts it takes to go out and that I've done it before. Sensed disinterest, engaged the third friend briefly but again wasn't getting much. Stepped back to dance. Soon after the three left but the one who had gone out solo as she walked past told me "we are heading to another bar. Bye!"
Approach 3: Two set near the toilets downstairs as I was heading there. One cute Asian chick and a hot Sri Lankan looking one. Both look bored. Opened complimenting on her necklace.
I point to my dog tag "This one". Got into a long conversation - I hate that I don't remember the details of what I talked about but they weren't fans of the place - hated the music. I really wasn't getting much investment from them at all - felt I was bringing energy but they were indifferent with nothing hitting. After 5-10 minutes they said they were heading the check the music upstairs and without so much as acknowledging me left.
Approach 4: Girl on corner of dancefloor.
My delivery was funny and she laughed a bit at this but wasn't giving much back. A dude comes while were talking - a friend of hers. I assume it's a boyfriend but he smiles, greets me and leaves".
Again, my tone was one where I was clearly joking. Strong voice, clear tonality.
She gave a polite smile but didn't say anything. Indifference. I left.
Approach 5: Girl holding two drinks with a group of four guys around.
I thought it was clear I was joking but she said "Hey!" - and slightly hurt. I laughed - "I'm only joking". She smiled but went and gave the drink to one of the dudes and they started chatting. I saw them throughout the night together with close comfortable body language - I assumed they were together.
Approach 6: Two girls at bar - blondies, look very young.
They both lit up a bit and started laughing.
Their two dude friends came soon after and they went off with them.
Switched bars, ran into two other dudes I knew in the line - they had poorer fundamentals than I do (this'll be important later).
When I entered I saw this tall sexy busty blonde walking through the dancefloor. I got excited about her - she went to a circle of friends and started dancing enthusiastically with them. Made note to engage her later.
Upstairs talking to the dudes, there was a hot two set sitting down. Dudes dared me to approach - I did.
Approach 7:
*walking past them* *look over shoulder*
They were surprisingly open.
We started chatting some more. I'm busting on them when they tell me they feel old (22 and 23).
They're busting me saying that they don't believe I came out with friends.
They guessed I was 25. When I told them the truth (30) the one on the left (L) looked shocked. She was the hotter one - she was light skinned but exotic looking - almost greek. Found out she was half white half indian, which blew my mind. Some other dude comes and sits next to the one on the right. Don't know what he's saying but the one on the right starts entertaining him.
I'm still talking with L, then sit down with her. Don't sexualize that well, but do touch her lightly (my touch is still weak). She's engaged in the convo, I make her laugh. But at some point R gives her a look and she tells me
She turns her attention to the dude, they both start busting on him saying they're cops. I join in while busting on them some more.
At this point, I felt like I was wasting my time a bit. I told L I was getting a drink and was going to find my friends. She didn't seem too concerned. All up I'd probably been talking to them for 15 minutes. I got her instagram and left. Not enough sexualising to isolate and I felt awkward being there while they just tore into this dude.
Later on the dance floor saw this dude approaching them but get blown out. I walked past and reengaged. They both smiled - R said
I teased some more
I asked them what happened to their "mate" upstairs, the one R was talking to when I was there.
I soon saw my friend and told the girls "Hey! I found my mate." Remember earlier when I said they had poorer fundamentals. Well, they took a look at him - he was hovering there a bit awkwardly, dressed with a completely different style to me (daggy, whereas I was dressed more fashionably). They didn't believe me.
I then started saying "No, I actually know him. He's S. He's an incredible guitarist, performed the other day"
But they didn't believe me and looked suspicious. It's like they didn't trust me anymore - they then walked away. I later found out L blocked me on insta.
Pussy out
Me and S went out to the smokers for a bit and chatted about what happened. He then said he was going to do one more approach before leaving. So we headed back towards the dancefloor when lo and behold! The tall busty sexy blonde that I'd seen earlier was just standing at a table all by herself. It was the perfect opportunity! But - I was a split second too slow as S went in. My heart sunk. Even more when they started chatting for like 10 minutes after that. Not going to lie, I started getting really envious "ah, that could have been me talking to her. Damn it, she's so sexy" And secretly hoping it wouldn't work out. Terrible mindset I know but I couldn't help it. At this point it was clouding my mind and I couldn't approach anyone else. Again, terrible.
10 minutes later, I then see her dancing animatedly with her friends and S is nowhere to be found. You would think after what happened I'd at least go in and try my shot right? No. I pussy out. "Ah, she's not outside by the table now. She's dancing with the friends, I'm not going in now, it'll be too forced" Total pussy ass bitch.
Soon after, she slings her handback on and walks out with her friends. And I felt extreme shame. Not only had I hoped S would blow it which was terrible in and of itself, but that even when it did, I couldn't even grab my balls and go for her, a chick I found super sexy.
This weighed on my mind for ages.
Approach 8 (Amogged)
Found out S was upstairs again. Went up, chatted. He told me the convo started off strong but then got platonic (they were talking about Game of Thrones by the end) and then the blonde suddenly said "I have to find my friends" and went back to them. This made me more depressed. This chick was clearly open to meeting guys and I could have been that guy but pussied out.
I spotted a bored chick on her own. S told me to go for her but that he was leaving.
I approach.
We chat for a bit, she still seems a bit bored but is responding at least.
Then, some dude with glasses and like five rings on each finger comes in. He comes in and starts chatting to the girl and me. I'm cautious and weary. But the thing is, he's engaging her. She seemed more into him - looking at his rings
I attempted to get back control of the conversation at points but her attention was purely on him. I pussied out again and didn't have the balls to tell the dude that we were having a convo. Honestly, the reason I didn't have the balls is because I felt embarrassed saying it as our conversation wasn't that interesting anyway and she was enjoying this one more.
I pussied out - I didn't just slink away - I put my hand on her shoulder, interrupting their conversation to tell her I was going to get a drink. Wanted to gauge her response. She just said "ok" and went back to talking to the dude.
As I'm waiting for a drink, in the corner of my eye I see her walking away from the dude. He comes close and I then tell him straight up it wasn't cool.
And he did. He asked for my insta and I gave it to him.
I later found out that he's in one of the facebook pickup groups I'm in. Not only that, but I actually recognized him as he made some posts a while back and from what he had posted, he was very successful.
I'm almost certain he was playing dumb and knew exactly what he was doing.
After this I left.
Saturday:
I had a friends birthday Sat, but we went out. I was mainly with them so didn't approach, but later on in the night there was a two set of hot young standoffish looking girls sitting down.
I don't remember exactly how I opened but I fumbled over my words a little bit at the start. I thought I was done for when this happened and they'd think I was weird but they were still happy to talk. The one on the left didn't show overt signs of interest but I suspect she was interested. She started asking me about my drink cup (It was a cocktail that came in a special tribal looking glass) and if the cocktail was nice. I offered to have her taste it but she said it was ok. The one on the right was engaging less, she was sneaking glances at L but for the most part was letting us just talk.
I found out they were only here until Monday (it was Saturday) as they were travelling from interstate. To make my intentions a bit clearer I told her "it's a shame you're leaving on Monday. I would have been all over you" with a smile and but my arm around her pulling her in close. This was while R was there in plain site and she didn't protest or anything, just went along with it. Not going to lie, doing this scared me initially but I'm surprised there was no negative reaction.
They asked for good recommendations for places to go, but that they weren't big clubbers. I told them we were going to dance but gave a list of places to check out.
At some point, my friend (the birthday boy) came by to engage the friend. I've mentioned him in the journal before - he has good game, but cannot approach sober. Only when he drinks.
He was there for a while when R went to the bathroom - before she left she asked L "are you all good?" and L said she was. When R came back, my friend stayed for a bit then bailed. I felt the vibe starting to die a bit and I was not really sure how to move things forward. I felt I had overstayed my welcome and as soon as I was feeling this, L said "it was nice to meet you" which came right as I was going to say "I'm going to head back to my friends. Great to meet you" I got her instagram and she followed me back. Found out from her insta that she was 18 and yeah, hot as fuck.
I spent the remainder of the night just chilling talking at the party. My mate told me he was trying to distract the friend but she had a boyfriend also he sensed that she didn't want anything to do with him. I told him that I suspected my chick liked me which is why R was happy to let us talk but was being a bit weary with her eye on us instead, which is why he wasn't engaging her.
Sunday:
I went to a festival Sunday but didn't do many approaches at all, mainly dancing and vibing with mates. I don't know, I think I felt a bit fatigued. I definitely could have summoned more courage to do more...
However, there was one opportunity that I'm beating myself up about.
There was a two set in front of me dancing. The one I wanted was short and sexy (S) - she had camo pants on and hoop earrings.
I didn't approach right away - I took my time and thought of a funny opener then went in close, while they were both facing eachother in front of me (so their backs weren't fully to me)
They both burst out laughing. Not sure what happened immediately after but they went back to talking. Heard them talking about the VIP section when I went in again.
This time, when I went in, S comes in to listen looking at me with the sexiest smile. I get in close and touch her lower back. She's all ears.
I had used this same opener with two other girls just 20 minutes before.
Again, they laughed and we talked for a bit. But again, they talked with each other and then, S sidled up and put her arm around her friend with their back to me while I resumed dancing.
My brain took this as a rejection. "Ah, she's not looking back or giving me any signs, she must not be interested" Which might have been true. But I gave up so easily and didn't talk to them. Soon after, while I was dancing, S told her friend she wanted to check out some other place and they left - her friend glanced at me as they left.
I was angry at myself. For one, I could have taken that so much further. In the roleplay about them distracting the security guards, it would have been easy to sexualize (jokes about them doing a tease, telling them not to flash as much as they want to). Or saying something like "After I get in, I'll come back and lift you in. Then we'll celebrate getting in, make out and live happily ever after". I don't know. Something, anything just to sexualize. But my bitch brain just gave up. "Ah, she must not be interested."
I just gave up so easily and didn't even try to keep it going. I was disappointed in myself for that one. I should have just kept assuming attraction. Assumed it was a test. That would be a mindset shift that would help me tremendously. Whenever a girl is not giving you much back, you just assume she likes you but is testing you. To see how big your balls are and if you'll keep trying. Because she want the ballsiest man.
And when you bail easily, you demonstrate that you're a pussy and lose respect in her eyes. I read Chases recent article on this.
Treating everything like a test. The embarrassment of failing her test and her thinking you're a pussy (by bailing too early) far outweighs the embarrassment of an awkward interaction in my eyes. I respect myself so much more when I stay in set till the end.
As far as I'm concerned, S was attracted to me and testing me, waiting to see what I was going to do. And I failed that test with flying colours, missing out on experiencing that sweet sexy thing.
Friday:
Went out solo. Grabbed a jack and coke and chilled dancing for a little bit.
Approach 1: Opened an older woman whose friend was dancing enthusiastically to warm myself up -
I wasn't attracted to them, wanted to just build some momentum.
Approach 2: Three set on dancefloor - one looking around with a bored look on her face. I open her.
Her friends laugh. I keep engaging - I tell them that I need company since my "friend" is running late and I don't want to seem like a loser (jokingly). One in the middle missed the joke (she was from Denmark so perhaps didn't understand" and said that she was out the last two weekends solo. I talked to her briefly about how much guts it takes to go out and that I've done it before. Sensed disinterest, engaged the third friend briefly but again wasn't getting much. Stepped back to dance. Soon after the three left but the one who had gone out solo as she walked past told me "we are heading to another bar. Bye!"
Approach 3: Two set near the toilets downstairs as I was heading there. One cute Asian chick and a hot Sri Lankan looking one. Both look bored. Opened complimenting on her necklace.
I point to my dog tag "This one". Got into a long conversation - I hate that I don't remember the details of what I talked about but they weren't fans of the place - hated the music. I really wasn't getting much investment from them at all - felt I was bringing energy but they were indifferent with nothing hitting. After 5-10 minutes they said they were heading the check the music upstairs and without so much as acknowledging me left.
Approach 4: Girl on corner of dancefloor.
She starts to play along but still not much*
My delivery was funny and she laughed a bit at this but wasn't giving much back. A dude comes while were talking - a friend of hers. I assume it's a boyfriend but he smiles, greets me and leaves".
Again, my tone was one where I was clearly joking. Strong voice, clear tonality.
She gave a polite smile but didn't say anything. Indifference. I left.
Approach 5: Girl holding two drinks with a group of four guys around.
I thought it was clear I was joking but she said "Hey!" - and slightly hurt. I laughed - "I'm only joking". She smiled but went and gave the drink to one of the dudes and they started chatting. I saw them throughout the night together with close comfortable body language - I assumed they were together.
Approach 6: Two girls at bar - blondies, look very young.
They both lit up a bit and started laughing.
Their two dude friends came soon after and they went off with them.
Switched bars, ran into two other dudes I knew in the line - they had poorer fundamentals than I do (this'll be important later).
When I entered I saw this tall sexy busty blonde walking through the dancefloor. I got excited about her - she went to a circle of friends and started dancing enthusiastically with them. Made note to engage her later.
Upstairs talking to the dudes, there was a hot two set sitting down. Dudes dared me to approach - I did.
Approach 7:
*walking past them* *look over shoulder*
They were surprisingly open.
We started chatting some more. I'm busting on them when they tell me they feel old (22 and 23).
They're busting me saying that they don't believe I came out with friends.
They guessed I was 25. When I told them the truth (30) the one on the left (L) looked shocked. She was the hotter one - she was light skinned but exotic looking - almost greek. Found out she was half white half indian, which blew my mind. Some other dude comes and sits next to the one on the right. Don't know what he's saying but the one on the right starts entertaining him.
I'm still talking with L, then sit down with her. Don't sexualize that well, but do touch her lightly (my touch is still weak). She's engaged in the convo, I make her laugh. But at some point R gives her a look and she tells me
She turns her attention to the dude, they both start busting on him saying they're cops. I join in while busting on them some more.
At this point, I felt like I was wasting my time a bit. I told L I was getting a drink and was going to find my friends. She didn't seem too concerned. All up I'd probably been talking to them for 15 minutes. I got her instagram and left. Not enough sexualising to isolate and I felt awkward being there while they just tore into this dude.
Later on the dance floor saw this dude approaching them but get blown out. I walked past and reengaged. They both smiled - R said
I teased some more
I asked them what happened to their "mate" upstairs, the one R was talking to when I was there.
I soon saw my friend and told the girls "Hey! I found my mate." Remember earlier when I said they had poorer fundamentals. Well, they took a look at him - he was hovering there a bit awkwardly, dressed with a completely different style to me (daggy, whereas I was dressed more fashionably). They didn't believe me.
I then started saying "No, I actually know him. He's S. He's an incredible guitarist, performed the other day"
But they didn't believe me and looked suspicious. It's like they didn't trust me anymore - they then walked away. I later found out L blocked me on insta.
Pussy out
Me and S went out to the smokers for a bit and chatted about what happened. He then said he was going to do one more approach before leaving. So we headed back towards the dancefloor when lo and behold! The tall busty sexy blonde that I'd seen earlier was just standing at a table all by herself. It was the perfect opportunity! But - I was a split second too slow as S went in. My heart sunk. Even more when they started chatting for like 10 minutes after that. Not going to lie, I started getting really envious "ah, that could have been me talking to her. Damn it, she's so sexy" And secretly hoping it wouldn't work out. Terrible mindset I know but I couldn't help it. At this point it was clouding my mind and I couldn't approach anyone else. Again, terrible.
10 minutes later, I then see her dancing animatedly with her friends and S is nowhere to be found. You would think after what happened I'd at least go in and try my shot right? No. I pussy out. "Ah, she's not outside by the table now. She's dancing with the friends, I'm not going in now, it'll be too forced" Total pussy ass bitch.
Soon after, she slings her handback on and walks out with her friends. And I felt extreme shame. Not only had I hoped S would blow it which was terrible in and of itself, but that even when it did, I couldn't even grab my balls and go for her, a chick I found super sexy.
This weighed on my mind for ages.
Approach 8 (Amogged)
Found out S was upstairs again. Went up, chatted. He told me the convo started off strong but then got platonic (they were talking about Game of Thrones by the end) and then the blonde suddenly said "I have to find my friends" and went back to them. This made me more depressed. This chick was clearly open to meeting guys and I could have been that guy but pussied out.
I spotted a bored chick on her own. S told me to go for her but that he was leaving.
I approach.
We chat for a bit, she still seems a bit bored but is responding at least.
Then, some dude with glasses and like five rings on each finger comes in. He comes in and starts chatting to the girl and me. I'm cautious and weary. But the thing is, he's engaging her. She seemed more into him - looking at his rings
I attempted to get back control of the conversation at points but her attention was purely on him. I pussied out again and didn't have the balls to tell the dude that we were having a convo. Honestly, the reason I didn't have the balls is because I felt embarrassed saying it as our conversation wasn't that interesting anyway and she was enjoying this one more.
I pussied out - I didn't just slink away - I put my hand on her shoulder, interrupting their conversation to tell her I was going to get a drink. Wanted to gauge her response. She just said "ok" and went back to talking to the dude.
As I'm waiting for a drink, in the corner of my eye I see her walking away from the dude. He comes close and I then tell him straight up it wasn't cool.
And he did. He asked for my insta and I gave it to him.
I later found out that he's in one of the facebook pickup groups I'm in. Not only that, but I actually recognized him as he made some posts a while back and from what he had posted, he was very successful.
I'm almost certain he was playing dumb and knew exactly what he was doing.
After this I left.
Saturday:
I had a friends birthday Sat, but we went out. I was mainly with them so didn't approach, but later on in the night there was a two set of hot young standoffish looking girls sitting down.
I don't remember exactly how I opened but I fumbled over my words a little bit at the start. I thought I was done for when this happened and they'd think I was weird but they were still happy to talk. The one on the left didn't show overt signs of interest but I suspect she was interested. She started asking me about my drink cup (It was a cocktail that came in a special tribal looking glass) and if the cocktail was nice. I offered to have her taste it but she said it was ok. The one on the right was engaging less, she was sneaking glances at L but for the most part was letting us just talk.
I found out they were only here until Monday (it was Saturday) as they were travelling from interstate. To make my intentions a bit clearer I told her "it's a shame you're leaving on Monday. I would have been all over you" with a smile and but my arm around her pulling her in close. This was while R was there in plain site and she didn't protest or anything, just went along with it. Not going to lie, doing this scared me initially but I'm surprised there was no negative reaction.
They asked for good recommendations for places to go, but that they weren't big clubbers. I told them we were going to dance but gave a list of places to check out.
At some point, my friend (the birthday boy) came by to engage the friend. I've mentioned him in the journal before - he has good game, but cannot approach sober. Only when he drinks.
He was there for a while when R went to the bathroom - before she left she asked L "are you all good?" and L said she was. When R came back, my friend stayed for a bit then bailed. I felt the vibe starting to die a bit and I was not really sure how to move things forward. I felt I had overstayed my welcome and as soon as I was feeling this, L said "it was nice to meet you" which came right as I was going to say "I'm going to head back to my friends. Great to meet you" I got her instagram and she followed me back. Found out from her insta that she was 18 and yeah, hot as fuck.
I spent the remainder of the night just chilling talking at the party. My mate told me he was trying to distract the friend but she had a boyfriend also he sensed that she didn't want anything to do with him. I told him that I suspected my chick liked me which is why R was happy to let us talk but was being a bit weary with her eye on us instead, which is why he wasn't engaging her.
Sunday:
I went to a festival Sunday but didn't do many approaches at all, mainly dancing and vibing with mates. I don't know, I think I felt a bit fatigued. I definitely could have summoned more courage to do more...
However, there was one opportunity that I'm beating myself up about.
There was a two set in front of me dancing. The one I wanted was short and sexy (S) - she had camo pants on and hoop earrings.
I didn't approach right away - I took my time and thought of a funny opener then went in close, while they were both facing eachother in front of me (so their backs weren't fully to me)
They both burst out laughing. Not sure what happened immediately after but they went back to talking. Heard them talking about the VIP section when I went in again.
This time, when I went in, S comes in to listen looking at me with the sexiest smile. I get in close and touch her lower back. She's all ears.
I had used this same opener with two other girls just 20 minutes before.
Again, they laughed and we talked for a bit. But again, they talked with each other and then, S sidled up and put her arm around her friend with their back to me while I resumed dancing.
My brain took this as a rejection. "Ah, she's not looking back or giving me any signs, she must not be interested" Which might have been true. But I gave up so easily and didn't talk to them. Soon after, while I was dancing, S told her friend she wanted to check out some other place and they left - her friend glanced at me as they left.
I was angry at myself. For one, I could have taken that so much further. In the roleplay about them distracting the security guards, it would have been easy to sexualize (jokes about them doing a tease, telling them not to flash as much as they want to). Or saying something like "After I get in, I'll come back and lift you in. Then we'll celebrate getting in, make out and live happily ever after". I don't know. Something, anything just to sexualize. But my bitch brain just gave up. "Ah, she must not be interested."
I just gave up so easily and didn't even try to keep it going. I was disappointed in myself for that one. I should have just kept assuming attraction. Assumed it was a test. That would be a mindset shift that would help me tremendously. Whenever a girl is not giving you much back, you just assume she likes you but is testing you. To see how big your balls are and if you'll keep trying. Because she want the ballsiest man.
And when you bail easily, you demonstrate that you're a pussy and lose respect in her eyes. I read Chases recent article on this.
Treating everything like a test. The embarrassment of failing her test and her thinking you're a pussy (by bailing too early) far outweighs the embarrassment of an awkward interaction in my eyes. I respect myself so much more when I stay in set till the end.
As far as I'm concerned, S was attracted to me and testing me, waiting to see what I was going to do. And I failed that test with flying colours, missing out on experiencing that sweet sexy thing.
Last edited:
- Joined
- Jan 17, 2019
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FR Weekend:
Thursday night:
Had accidentally jerked off that day (in bed sort of edging because it felt good then went over. Meeting so many sexy girls makes me so fucking horny all the time it's almost unbearable. I think that's the main reason teenage boys are so horny, being around attractive young girls so much).
Went out with a mate who I'll refer to as Stache from now on. I've mentioned him in the journal previously - he's a mate of Golds (they met on Bumble BFFs), 26yo, looks almost exactly like John Gourley (singer from Portugal the Man) not shabby at all (over 100 lays, gets laid almost every weekend he goes out). Style is very direct and physical, describing the dirty things he wants to do to the girls to turn them on. Relentlessly plays the numbers game. Also there was another mate of Golds. I'll call him Evans cause he looks just like Chris Evans. They also met on Bumble BFFs. Evans is handsome as fuck but won't approach. In fact he is actively against it ("The few times I've gone to girls and they've given signs beforehand, they always just play coy and hard to get. So I'm not going to bother." Much to Gold, Stache and my dismay. We've tried to get him to approach multiple times but he won't. He relies on girls approaching him (which happens semi-regularly, he pulled a cutie last week who pretty much approached and made all the moves on him, and this week went to anothers house but he wasn't attracted to her). Before this would make me envious. But now I'm different, I like being the one in control of who I talk to, rather than waiting for whatever girl shows interest to come up.
Approach 1:
We're dancing up on elevated platform, two set of tall brunette hotties below dancing right by the platform. I'm not horny at all but want to get momentum going. I go down and tell them.
With a wink. One on the right goes "with a couple more drinks".
She hooks, starts asking me questions. She asks how old I am, and can't believe it when I say I'm 30 (You looks like 24!). Her friend also came in with a huge smile when I said this expressing her disbelief and saying I looked so much younger. They're both 25. Stache comes to talk to the friend, but she was in a relationship. For the life of me can't remember the convo but the vibe started to die. I should have introduced more compliance by suggesting a drink earlier in the interaction. Instead when vibe died I excused myself to get a drink.
After getting it I noticed them right behind me and joked about it.
Approach 2:
Tall very conventionally pretty brunette dancing with friend and looking around.
She turns around.
I go in, tease her about how she called me the bogan version of my name. We start roleplaying about being trailer trash. At this point we're in each others arms and I'm pressed up against her. She's laughing and playing around about being my trashy wife. I start getting a boner. But then her friend came and took her saying they were heading (mind you this same friend had left us alone talking before).
I let her go saying I'd find her later but never did. I should have been more persistent and got her to stay or at least got some contact details. She was a babe...
Approach 3:
Talking to Stache and Evans, see girl with three earrings talking to friend, go right up.
Laughed, had a short engagement but Stache was in the interaction as well. They went to dance.
Approach 4:
Super sexy petite brunette comes into smokers area. I ask "are you a dancer?". She says no, bartender. Again, Stache comes in and sort of dominates the interaction. They go to dancefloor.
Way later I see her dancing with a chode looking dude. I know nothings going to happen with them so wait, and sure enough 5 minutes later she's on her own. I pretend to walk past, then look at her and with a smile take her hand to dance. Getting right up close but again seems platonic. After I complement her she gives me a couple of pecks on the cheek. We're standing in each others arms - I'm not sure if there's genuine interest there but even then I blow it by saying the dumbest shit. Like "you have the body of a dancer" "where do you bartend?". Boring boring boring lame shit. She excuses herself.
At some point in the interaction, I'm not sure what led to it but we pecked each other on the lips too. Again though, seemed platonic. Would have loved to taste more.
After this, I noticed a sexy young chick in blue who'd I'd approached earlier but but who didn't give me much staring. She must have seen me with that chick. That would have been a good time to go in again but I didn't like an idiot. Man writing this shit out is so lame. I'm like "bro just fucking go do it wth
Approach 5:
Group of girls outside. I engage and we're talking for a long time but after a while they excuse themselves. Don't remember details of the convo but think I might have come across as a bit of a clown.
Approach 6:
Young German girl, cute but nothing special, with her hotter friends. Eyes me as I walk past. I go in. At some point embracing, but I have a resistance that pops up that makes me afraid to kiss her for some reason.
I talked to many more girls that night, I don't even remember. But these were the most notable ones. Stache found a cutie and went home with her. Evans went to that girls house who made the moves but he wasn't that into her and nothing happened.
Friday night:
Almost stayed in but called up a mate who convinced me to come out (Zu). We used to go out years ago, probably have referenced him in this journal.
Approach 1:
About to leave venue as it's dead when I see two girls at table dancing.
They hook, telling me they're from Vietnam etc etc but they're just waiting for the music to pick up. Zu is rusty and is standing there not saying anything. Still, we want to go somewhere else and it's still very early in the night so we leave (but I get their insta)
Ran into a girl outside I knew who I kept randomly popping into, whose friend I had sorta hooked up with the first time we'd met each other (years ago. Didn't close though but heavy making out on her couch). Not that attracted to her so chat for a bit then excuse ourselves.
I drive us to a bar in the city. We head in and downstairs.
Approach 2:
On dance floor, I see two girls at the wall looking around. I go right up to the one on the left, a busty sexy brunette.
Sexy brunette hooks. Shit tests me about how many girls I talk to ("well actually, you're number 200 today? That's gotta make you feel special")
I'm real close to her, faces almost touching. Feel myself getting hard.
I tease her, saying I'd love to go to a speed dating event for shits and giggles.
After 5 minutes she goes.
This takes me by surprise. Usually would challenge a bit more but sensing the high compliance I go along with it. She enters her number and when I'm showing her and it doesn't appear she looks a bit stressed, so I tell her it's ok and get her to call me from her phone so we have the number for sure. She then tells me that they're leaving (her and her friend, whom Zu was talking to).
I let them go since it's still early and I want to talk to more girls...
She's been a bit slow with the replies but seems keen to meet Saturday. I'm playing a bit coy saying I still need to confirm about Sat but am going to say it's all good tomorrow. Not ideal it being Saturday but fuck it. She's sexy, clearly attracted and time is ticking.
Approach 3:
Girl bumps into me.
She laughs but when I engage she shows me her ring "Too late, mate". And her fiance is right there. I wish them well and leave.
I made many more approaches that night but can't remember them all.
Saturday:
Went out with Gold and Stache. But to summarize, we bounced around to different venues, then ended up at a loud nightclub. Did some *censored* in the bathroom which cooked me. Still went up to a bunch of girls (most were friendly and listening to me), but I was way too friendly.
Stache was out just grabbing girls hands and pulling them in to dance and makeout. He was blackout drunk though as I later found out. Still, I should have followed his lead. One of the girls had this beautiful tall blonde friend who I talked to for a bit about what Stache was doing. But instead of this, I should have just been more dominant, saying something like. "Your turn" and pulling her in for a dance. Regret not doing this.
This was before I was cooked though and pretty sober.
At some point we had enough and went home.
Thursday night:
Had accidentally jerked off that day (in bed sort of edging because it felt good then went over. Meeting so many sexy girls makes me so fucking horny all the time it's almost unbearable. I think that's the main reason teenage boys are so horny, being around attractive young girls so much).
Went out with a mate who I'll refer to as Stache from now on. I've mentioned him in the journal previously - he's a mate of Golds (they met on Bumble BFFs), 26yo, looks almost exactly like John Gourley (singer from Portugal the Man) not shabby at all (over 100 lays, gets laid almost every weekend he goes out). Style is very direct and physical, describing the dirty things he wants to do to the girls to turn them on. Relentlessly plays the numbers game. Also there was another mate of Golds. I'll call him Evans cause he looks just like Chris Evans. They also met on Bumble BFFs. Evans is handsome as fuck but won't approach. In fact he is actively against it ("The few times I've gone to girls and they've given signs beforehand, they always just play coy and hard to get. So I'm not going to bother." Much to Gold, Stache and my dismay. We've tried to get him to approach multiple times but he won't. He relies on girls approaching him (which happens semi-regularly, he pulled a cutie last week who pretty much approached and made all the moves on him, and this week went to anothers house but he wasn't attracted to her). Before this would make me envious. But now I'm different, I like being the one in control of who I talk to, rather than waiting for whatever girl shows interest to come up.
Approach 1:
We're dancing up on elevated platform, two set of tall brunette hotties below dancing right by the platform. I'm not horny at all but want to get momentum going. I go down and tell them.
With a wink. One on the right goes "with a couple more drinks".
She hooks, starts asking me questions. She asks how old I am, and can't believe it when I say I'm 30 (You looks like 24!). Her friend also came in with a huge smile when I said this expressing her disbelief and saying I looked so much younger. They're both 25. Stache comes to talk to the friend, but she was in a relationship. For the life of me can't remember the convo but the vibe started to die. I should have introduced more compliance by suggesting a drink earlier in the interaction. Instead when vibe died I excused myself to get a drink.
After getting it I noticed them right behind me and joked about it.
I thought to myself I'll loop back to her later and went off to find friend.
Approach 2:
Tall very conventionally pretty brunette dancing with friend and looking around.
It's always clear from my tone that I'm taking the piss. She laughs. Think this a funny one to use whenever a girl is looking around, which happens alot.
I joke around about having to pash her now and put my face right close making kissing motions which she's playfully deflects with a laugh. I disengage briefly in response to the non-compliance and then dance with friends again.
She turns around.
She used the abbreviated version of my name which sounds bogan. Then turns to start dancing again. Greenlight to go in.
I go in, tease her about how she called me the bogan version of my name. We start roleplaying about being trailer trash. At this point we're in each others arms and I'm pressed up against her. She's laughing and playing around about being my trashy wife. I start getting a boner. But then her friend came and took her saying they were heading (mind you this same friend had left us alone talking before).
I let her go saying I'd find her later but never did. I should have been more persistent and got her to stay or at least got some contact details. She was a babe...
Approach 3:
Talking to Stache and Evans, see girl with three earrings talking to friend, go right up.
Laughed, had a short engagement but Stache was in the interaction as well. They went to dance.
Approach 4:
Super sexy petite brunette comes into smokers area. I ask "are you a dancer?". She says no, bartender. Again, Stache comes in and sort of dominates the interaction. They go to dancefloor.
Way later I see her dancing with a chode looking dude. I know nothings going to happen with them so wait, and sure enough 5 minutes later she's on her own. I pretend to walk past, then look at her and with a smile take her hand to dance. Getting right up close but again seems platonic. After I complement her she gives me a couple of pecks on the cheek. We're standing in each others arms - I'm not sure if there's genuine interest there but even then I blow it by saying the dumbest shit. Like "you have the body of a dancer" "where do you bartend?". Boring boring boring lame shit. She excuses herself.
At some point in the interaction, I'm not sure what led to it but we pecked each other on the lips too. Again though, seemed platonic. Would have loved to taste more.
After this, I noticed a sexy young chick in blue who'd I'd approached earlier but but who didn't give me much staring. She must have seen me with that chick. That would have been a good time to go in again but I didn't like an idiot. Man writing this shit out is so lame. I'm like "bro just fucking go do it wth
Approach 5:
Group of girls outside. I engage and we're talking for a long time but after a while they excuse themselves. Don't remember details of the convo but think I might have come across as a bit of a clown.
Approach 6:
Young German girl, cute but nothing special, with her hotter friends. Eyes me as I walk past. I go in. At some point embracing, but I have a resistance that pops up that makes me afraid to kiss her for some reason.
I talked to many more girls that night, I don't even remember. But these were the most notable ones. Stache found a cutie and went home with her. Evans went to that girls house who made the moves but he wasn't that into her and nothing happened.
Friday night:
Almost stayed in but called up a mate who convinced me to come out (Zu). We used to go out years ago, probably have referenced him in this journal.
Approach 1:
About to leave venue as it's dead when I see two girls at table dancing.
They hook, telling me they're from Vietnam etc etc but they're just waiting for the music to pick up. Zu is rusty and is standing there not saying anything. Still, we want to go somewhere else and it's still very early in the night so we leave (but I get their insta)
Ran into a girl outside I knew who I kept randomly popping into, whose friend I had sorta hooked up with the first time we'd met each other (years ago. Didn't close though but heavy making out on her couch). Not that attracted to her so chat for a bit then excuse ourselves.
I drive us to a bar in the city. We head in and downstairs.
Approach 2:
On dance floor, I see two girls at the wall looking around. I go right up to the one on the left, a busty sexy brunette.
Sexy brunette hooks. Shit tests me about how many girls I talk to ("well actually, you're number 200 today? That's gotta make you feel special")
I'm real close to her, faces almost touching. Feel myself getting hard.
She shows me a photo with a list of names - she'd just been to a speed dating event. Perfect, obviously out looking for guys.
I tease her, saying I'd love to go to a speed dating event for shits and giggles.
After 5 minutes she goes.
This takes me by surprise. Usually would challenge a bit more but sensing the high compliance I go along with it. She enters her number and when I'm showing her and it doesn't appear she looks a bit stressed, so I tell her it's ok and get her to call me from her phone so we have the number for sure. She then tells me that they're leaving (her and her friend, whom Zu was talking to).
I let them go since it's still early and I want to talk to more girls...
She's been a bit slow with the replies but seems keen to meet Saturday. I'm playing a bit coy saying I still need to confirm about Sat but am going to say it's all good tomorrow. Not ideal it being Saturday but fuck it. She's sexy, clearly attracted and time is ticking.
Approach 3:
Girl bumps into me.
She laughs but when I engage she shows me her ring "Too late, mate". And her fiance is right there. I wish them well and leave.
I made many more approaches that night but can't remember them all.
Saturday:
Went out with Gold and Stache. But to summarize, we bounced around to different venues, then ended up at a loud nightclub. Did some *censored* in the bathroom which cooked me. Still went up to a bunch of girls (most were friendly and listening to me), but I was way too friendly.
Stache was out just grabbing girls hands and pulling them in to dance and makeout. He was blackout drunk though as I later found out. Still, I should have followed his lead. One of the girls had this beautiful tall blonde friend who I talked to for a bit about what Stache was doing. But instead of this, I should have just been more dominant, saying something like. "Your turn" and pulling her in for a dance. Regret not doing this.
This was before I was cooked though and pretty sober.
At some point we had enough and went home.
Last edited:
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Some more notes:
Daygame:
Haven't been doing much but when I do, I don't approach enough. Still skip out on way too many opportunities.
Which is dumb because the few times I have approached lately, it's gone really well.
Case in point, today. Saw a hottie walking with a hat. Ran past, lopped back. Chickened out cause she looked too hot and she disappeared. Later by sheer coincidence I saw her walking past again. I couldn't live with myself if I didn't do it, so I went to talk to her. Tried a different approach, wearing my heart on my sleeve and admitting my hesitation to come up.
She responded really well.
Asked how long they'd been together (3 years). Then she told me that I should keep doing it, that there were so many people who would love for this to happen to them, including a friend of hers who had confessed that she'd always dreamed about something like this happening.
I really have to get the whole "any girl any situation" drilled into my mind.
I have approached girls in almost any situation. In front of tradies, in front of people waiting for coffee, a group of 4 girls, two girls walking ahead of me. Nothing bad has happened. Yet for some reason I hold back now. Maybe because nothing came from those interactions even if they were well received by the girl. So my mind is going "hmm it's still scary. Chances of success probably low. Stick to single sets". Which is ridiculous.
I've also gone back to rationalizing myself out of perfectly good sets.
"She's ahead of me. I can't see her face". I've approached tons on girls from behind and it's gone well, even gotten laid from it.
"She's too far away. Meh, will be dumb if I run for ages to get to her". I've run after tons of chicks. Most of the time they don't even realize how far I ran and even if they did. Who the fuck cares. Own it.
"She looks bitchy". I've approached tons of girls who have looked bitchy and so many times they've lit up and been super friendly. Even got laid from it.
"I feel like shit anyway, it won't go well'. I've approached tons of girls when I've felt shitty, and not horny at all, and it's gone well. Yeah, most of the time when I feel like this it doesn't go well, but it's worked a couple of times.
I'm trying to counteract my minds constant bs. Remembering all the evidence to the contrary so the mind cannot rely on bs excuses.
Daygame:
Haven't been doing much but when I do, I don't approach enough. Still skip out on way too many opportunities.
Which is dumb because the few times I have approached lately, it's gone really well.
Case in point, today. Saw a hottie walking with a hat. Ran past, lopped back. Chickened out cause she looked too hot and she disappeared. Later by sheer coincidence I saw her walking past again. I couldn't live with myself if I didn't do it, so I went to talk to her. Tried a different approach, wearing my heart on my sleeve and admitting my hesitation to come up.
She responded really well.
Asked how long they'd been together (3 years). Then she told me that I should keep doing it, that there were so many people who would love for this to happen to them, including a friend of hers who had confessed that she'd always dreamed about something like this happening.
I really have to get the whole "any girl any situation" drilled into my mind.
I have approached girls in almost any situation. In front of tradies, in front of people waiting for coffee, a group of 4 girls, two girls walking ahead of me. Nothing bad has happened. Yet for some reason I hold back now. Maybe because nothing came from those interactions even if they were well received by the girl. So my mind is going "hmm it's still scary. Chances of success probably low. Stick to single sets". Which is ridiculous.
I've also gone back to rationalizing myself out of perfectly good sets.
"She's ahead of me. I can't see her face". I've approached tons on girls from behind and it's gone well, even gotten laid from it.
"She's too far away. Meh, will be dumb if I run for ages to get to her". I've run after tons of chicks. Most of the time they don't even realize how far I ran and even if they did. Who the fuck cares. Own it.
"She looks bitchy". I've approached tons of girls who have looked bitchy and so many times they've lit up and been super friendly. Even got laid from it.
"I feel like shit anyway, it won't go well'. I've approached tons of girls when I've felt shitty, and not horny at all, and it's gone well. Yeah, most of the time when I feel like this it doesn't go well, but it's worked a couple of times.
I'm trying to counteract my minds constant bs. Remembering all the evidence to the contrary so the mind cannot rely on bs excuses.
- Joined
- Jan 17, 2019
- Messages
- 774
The Mind
Probing deeper into my mind and how it operates, and why it limits me in these ways.
I've been making a mistake in that I've put looks at the forefront, developing my body and fashion sense above all else. And so on some level, I'm going up to girls (night and day) running basic game and hoping that she just likes my look. When I skip out on daygame sets, it's because I suspect she won't like my look and it won't go anywhere. Similar with night. even though I'm approaching way more I still tend to approach girls who look similar to ones I've had positive experiences with, avoiding the rest.
This is alright for green girls, but honestly the majority of hotties I want are yellows. And I've really got to drill it into myself that
Women aren't men.
They are attracted to different things than men.
- Dominance (Physical and Social)
- A strong frame
- Confidence
- Popularity
- Scarcity
- Humor
While I continue developing my body and fashion sense of course, I need to drop the identity as a good looking guy that has gone to my head a bit and focus more on the qualities that women are most attracted to.
I've been doing way better with this at night, building up social momentum (Social Dominance) and getting very close to them (Physical Dominance). And women have been responding extremely well to it.
Same applies to daygame. Instead of skipping out on approaching because "she probably won't like my look", I need to realise that women aren't men. And that it is very possible to go up to a girl who is meh and through your behavior and actions turn her on.
Skipped out on a four set of hot girls because you were scared, or because there are other people around? Women are attracted to social dominance. You having the balls to go up to them will probably generate attraction. They intuitively know it takes balls to go up to them in those stressful situations. It'd be like if you saw a fat girl in public, thought nothing of her, then she came to start talking to you and she physically started getting hotter and hotter. You'd probably be a bit taken aback/surprised but still getting turned on anyway.
It's a battle of the mind.
Reframing everything. Reframing taking action as the positive thing with makes you more attractive and not taking action as the negative chodey thing. Similar to a recent entry I made where staying in set makes her gain more respect for you and ejecting to early makes her lose respect.
I still feel like my frame control is very weak and flimsy. My dominance is low. I have a good sense of humor but everything else is underdeveloped.
Everything I do has to have these basic principles in mind.
Rather than focusing on the minutia of what to do, keeping the general principles in mind of what women find attractive in every interaction and demonstrating those to the max.
Probing deeper into my mind and how it operates, and why it limits me in these ways.
I've been making a mistake in that I've put looks at the forefront, developing my body and fashion sense above all else. And so on some level, I'm going up to girls (night and day) running basic game and hoping that she just likes my look. When I skip out on daygame sets, it's because I suspect she won't like my look and it won't go anywhere. Similar with night. even though I'm approaching way more I still tend to approach girls who look similar to ones I've had positive experiences with, avoiding the rest.
This is alright for green girls, but honestly the majority of hotties I want are yellows. And I've really got to drill it into myself that
Women aren't men.
They are attracted to different things than men.
- Dominance (Physical and Social)
- A strong frame
- Confidence
- Popularity
- Scarcity
- Humor
While I continue developing my body and fashion sense of course, I need to drop the identity as a good looking guy that has gone to my head a bit and focus more on the qualities that women are most attracted to.
I've been doing way better with this at night, building up social momentum (Social Dominance) and getting very close to them (Physical Dominance). And women have been responding extremely well to it.
Same applies to daygame. Instead of skipping out on approaching because "she probably won't like my look", I need to realise that women aren't men. And that it is very possible to go up to a girl who is meh and through your behavior and actions turn her on.
Skipped out on a four set of hot girls because you were scared, or because there are other people around? Women are attracted to social dominance. You having the balls to go up to them will probably generate attraction. They intuitively know it takes balls to go up to them in those stressful situations. It'd be like if you saw a fat girl in public, thought nothing of her, then she came to start talking to you and she physically started getting hotter and hotter. You'd probably be a bit taken aback/surprised but still getting turned on anyway.
It's a battle of the mind.
Reframing everything. Reframing taking action as the positive thing with makes you more attractive and not taking action as the negative chodey thing. Similar to a recent entry I made where staying in set makes her gain more respect for you and ejecting to early makes her lose respect.
I still feel like my frame control is very weak and flimsy. My dominance is low. I have a good sense of humor but everything else is underdeveloped.
Everything I do has to have these basic principles in mind.
Rather than focusing on the minutia of what to do, keeping the general principles in mind of what women find attractive in every interaction and demonstrating those to the max.
- Joined
- Jan 17, 2019
- Messages
- 774
Oh man. So much has happened over the last month I don't even know where to begin or how to structure it. What a rollercoaster of a ride it has been. I haven't broken the now almost three month dry spell and every day feel more and more pressure on myself to do so that it feels like my heads going to fucking explode.
In Feb and early March I've:
Gone on two standard dates (both ended in makeouts)
Gone on an insta date and ended up going on an impromptu road trip with a hot Ukrainian chick who'd arrived in Oz that day (missed an escalation window on the insta date and nothing happened. The road trip was fun but felt like the biggest chode doing it after getting friendzoned, wouldn't repeat but was a good experience in blowing past my comfort zone)
Gone on a double date (made out but missed an escalation window and she declined my invite home)
Made out with three chicks from NG, invited two home but they declined.
Details:
Date 1
Girl I met on a night out. Went on the date, bounced to another venue, then ended by me walking to her car and kissing her. She later said she didn't feel the connection, I asked why, she gave me a detailed breakdown on how she "liked that I approached her and set up the date, but didn't like that I held her hand when asking about her rings, and that I went for the kiss at the end. It was good, but too soon". I had plowed without fully understanding where she was at. I thanked her for her honesty, told her that I'm more of a physical person but that it would have been good to pay more attention to where she was at, and said if she ever wanted to give it another go to let me know.
Date 2
Last week. Tall chick with multiple piercings. Super compliant over text. Met up, chatted. Was a bit too far away. It was an awkward vibe. Bounced to another venue where we were next to each other. She bought a round. Used my standard "I'm glad I came up to talk to you" while looking her in the eyes and made out. We chatted some more. She was a morning person (got up at 4:30am) so she said she had to leave around 30 minutes later. At the end we made out again and I suggested we make cocktails at mine which she enthusiastically agreed to. Tried to set up for the Friday (this was Tuesday) but she said that was her one night off for a big weekend and she wanted to chill. I didn't push and left it. Have been messaging but I feel the vibe shift a bit. I probably could have slept with her on the date given how compliant she was. I have a bad feeling that this ones fizzling.
Insta Date with Hot Ukrainian and road trip
Friday nightgame a couple weeks back. Got into the city solo and spotted a hot blonde chick walking down the street. Hesitated but then ran back. Saw her take a photo of a landmark so opened with "You're a tourist aren't you?" right in front of a group of tradies. Went back and forth teasing each other. Her legs were crossed. She'd just arrived from Ukraine that morning. About 20 minutes in I suggest going to a bar nearby. She agrees and is hanging off me like crazy while I take the lead. Getting IOIs from tons of other chicks and looks from members of the public cause she was hot. On the way we're talking about where to go - I make some suggestions and then she springs this on me "what are you doing tomorrow? Do you want to come with me? Lets go on a road trip!". Naturally I was skeptical and teased her about this. "Damn, already met me and already want to go on a road trip, this is moving pretty fast". She almost begged. I said I wanted to chill this weekend but maybe. Now the reason I said maybe was because just that morning, I'd seen my housemate go on a camping trip and realized I missed going on trips on the weekend. Used to do that with my mates who have since drifted apart. Camping trips, road trips. And now my weekends were just spent and home going to bars. So when that came up I genuinely thought "Hey, might be fun". And the thought made me nervous (spending hours in a car with someone I'd just met" which is partly why I agreed.
Before we got to the bar we go to the bridge overlooking the river. She took a selfie of us. We went back and forth and then after a lot of time I said "fuck it, lets do it". We go to the bar and get a drink. We chat. She asks me if I'm single. I say I am and ask her if she is. She says she's married, and that her husband was currently fighting in Ukraine. Lol. Thing is I'm usually the one who fucks with people so I thought she was being serious. A chair opened up and we went to sit next to each other looking at the river. We were going back and forth but I actually started getting a bit tired (bored?) and stopped talking as much. The vibe shifted and she mentioned that she had to go back to the hostel to get up early. On the way I suggest we go to another bridge overlooking the river. Here, she's talking about the road trip again and I actually am interested to see where this goes. She tells me she's happy to come to my house in the morning. I give her my address (and tease her about how she's going to stalk me now which she laughs at). At the end, I wanted to go for the makeout so I looked in her eyes and gave her (what I thought was) a sexy look. She just looked at me for a couple seconds and said "you are not maniac are you?". "What?". "You won't kill me tomorrow will you?". Great, I try to give her a sexy look and instead come across like a serial killer instead. I jokingly say "I was going to ask you the same thing". We part ways. I feel I've already missed the moment but decide to do tomorrow anyway.
We'd planned on leaving early the next morning and I was tired and couldn't think of anything else, so went home and slept.
Next morning she comes around. Try to keep physical contact up. We grab coffee then head off. The round trip all up was a couple hours, we went to the beach, park and a few small towns. Spent a lot of it talking (and singing to) music. She complimented my voice. "I know" with a cocky smile. The whole time I tried breaking through but it was hard. Obviously the first thing was trying to get more physical. Getting close at the beach and tossing water at her, trying to read where she was at. Felt very hard to escalate physically as I felt she had walls up. Did a handstand on the beach. Then she did and I held her up by her legs. Had her hand feed me cookies while I was driving.
Verbally, was chase framing the shit out of her. Examples: I would be in the car changing for beach and teased her, saying "I appreciate you not looking. I know it's hard with me being so sexy" and her laughing. I told her to say something in Russian. After she did, I thanked her. "Ah that means "you are so handsome doesn't it? You're too kind". She played along laughing. We roleplayed about being married with kids. She brought it up. When she did I teased her about thinking about marriage already. At one point (I don't remember exactly what I said) I implied from what she said that she wanted to have sex with me and she matter of factly said "we are not having sex". I know that when women say this it's usually bs, but this was towards the end where I'd already felt I missed an escalation window and so felt legit. At one point I joked about us having sex in a park. She laughed "you're so perverted haha".
Will give myself credit for how openly I did this and how unafraid I was about getting sexual. This maybe seem like overgaming I dunno, it was over a couple of hours though, not crammed. I do feel that I just didn't build any real sexual tension though. It was more grandmaster style and while she found it funny, I don't know if she resonated as much with it and it sure didn't seem to turn her on.
At the end, we got back to mine. Hugged goodbye. Half jokingly said "Damn, my effort to seduce you failed" which she responded with "Are you joking". Then made some spiel about how the timing wasn't right, she was travelling blah blah. Which we all know is bs. She wanted to catch up the next day at a bar to play table tennis, I gave her a non-committal answer and didn't go.
Double Date
Technically not NG but sort of ended up becoming it. Friend who danced Bachata invited me along to a double date of a hot chick he’d met the previous week. She was bringing along her friend and he wanted me to deal with her. He was also leaving a bit earlier to go to a Bachata event. I like this dude but he annoys the shit out of me sometimes mainly cause he’s one of those “inner game trumps all” guys, completely dismissing technical game as unnecessary. And that shit leads to things like not imposing your frame on the girl to, you know, not bring her friend to a date. But, I digress.
They come along. The friend is this goth chick, tall and a bit dirty looking. She’s meh. His chick is way hotter (I actually gained more respect for him after seeing how hot she was). And I find myself glancing over at her more. I can tell my chick senses the attention drifting and she tries harder to keep things going, touching me, buying me drinks etc. After a while my friend says he’s going to the Bachata event and invites us along (“can get more physical there”). I’m like whatever. I initially suggested going to play a bit of pool and some dingy bar, would have been easier to pull rather than getting distracted by a bunch of other people around, but whatever. I didn’t care much either way so went.
When we got there, I lose them and see my chick dancing with some balding dude, who’s leading her around and teaching her dance moves. For some reason my intuition tells me that I have nothing to worry about just based on observing him. Sure enough, I’m right, as when I go to the bar to grab a drink she comes over leaving him and telling me that we need to dance. Then when he’s out of earshot she tells me how he was a bit weird, inviting her home already. I laugh. We dance. It’s getting sexual, we’re making out. I’ve had so much to drink at this point I’m actually started to get attracted to her and get a boner. Dirty talking in her ear, telling her I know she wants to be tied up while I take full control and do what I want with her. She was going “mm”. Still, the dirty talk was kinda lame and amateur though. Delivery and choice of words was a bit awkward.
This is where I fucked it I think. Buying temp was high there, and I had a raging boner, so that’s the point where I should have just said “alright, we’re leaving” and gotten the fuck out of there. Instead we danced and made out more and I spun her a couple times and the tension that had been built died. Making out had destroyed all the tension completely. Then made a lame ass attempt to get her out of there “we should go finish the dance”. She said “I can’t, I’m staying with (friends girl) tonight”. My boner had died at that point already so I didn’t even try to persist.
Friend also said the vibe suddenly shifted with his too (he was off dancing with others at the Bachata event). Told him the same thing (missed an escalation window)
Night Game Makeout and Invite 1
Belgian chick, a tall cute brunette who was here after getting cheated on by her BF. Opened when she was in the line to get drinks (there were two lines) by going to her and saying "I'm choosing this line because you seem like you know what you're doing. If it goes slow and we lose to the other line I'm blaming you". She didn't really understand. Me and my wing chatted to her, I made sure to make my intent clear through the interaction, touching her frequently. She commented that I was the only young guy who had approached her in the week she'd been here, the others had all been "old". She was 28 though so not that young herself. She mentioned that one of the guys had invited her on a roadtrip, but she was iffy because she didn't know his intent. To this I decided to go obvious. "Yeah, that's kinda weird that he wouldn't make it clear from the start. Like, I'll be straight up with you. I think you're sexy" but in a playful way so that she laughed but also knew I was being serious.
Bounced to another bar, wing leaves. I'm dancing with her, she's smiling while looking around the room. Not sensing she is waiting for any move. Have no idea how to escalate since she's being closed off. So I straight up tell her "That smile is sexy. I want to kiss you". She then smiles and kisses me. But her hair smelled kinda rank which was a turn off. After that the vibe shifted completely, she was open and coming into my arms, making out, but when I went for the pull she hesitated. "I'm not sure yet". Also note we were communicating through google translate at many points. Her objection was that I was out of the main city area (but still only 15 minutes) and she took a while to warm up. Despite my best efforts she left but told me she wanted to give me her number since she wanted to see me again. Next day texted, she said she was busy sorting out where to live but wanted to make it clear she wasn’t after I relationship. I responded saying I was looking for people to vibe with, understanding that she wasn’t going to be here for long so a relo wouldn’t be possible anyway. She didn’t respond.
Night Game Makeout and Invite 1
Asian chick. In club, up against wall on her own. She was cute, nothing special. Went up, chit chatted, made out, 10 minutes later we’re outside. She tells me she’s leaving the next day, I say some bs about making her last night memorable. She objects in an almost needy? way “I feel like you might only want me for the one thing though. And then once it happens I’ll never see you again”. Bitch you’re flying out tomorrow. What the fuck do you think this is? Of course we’re never going to see each other again. I plow some more, she says that she wants to stay in touch. LOL yeah right. I straight up give some bs about how I usually don’t stay in touch with people when they move elsewhere and tell her I’m going back inside. She then says sadly “I know that once you go back inside I’m never going to see you again”. Da fuck, we’ve known each other like 10 minutes. Whatever.
Night Game Makeout 3
I was heavily drunk here. Hot black chick walks past and slaps my ass. I tease her "did you just slap my ass?". To which she responds "what are you gonna do about it". I slap hers. See her later with friends, tease her about the ass slap again. Exchange names. We go to dance, we makeout. Again, fully drunk at this point so I'm just going crazy on the dfloor with her, grabbing her ass. After a short while of this she left. Later at another venue see her talking with another dude on his lap. TBH that night I was bored at the prospect of just being with one chick (I hadn't gotten that drunk in ages) and was just shooting the shit with everyone. Made out with another hot chick I'm pretty sure but barely remember. Stache was dumbfounded at how easily I was opening and hooking girls "how are you doing it?". Felt good being the one better than him for once. Well, that's what happens when I drink as much as you do (he easily drinks like minimum 10 a night on Friday and Sat. I have no idea how he affords it). I spoke with no filter. Everything that came out of my mouth was funny as fuck (I made the entire tram cack up laughing). But it was fucking expensive (I spent almost 200 dollars that night, including ubers) and unsustainable. But so fun. I'd forgotten how fun being drunk was. And I didn't even get a bad hangover the next day. This is how people become alcoholics.
These are the most notable interactions. Lots more has happened (mainly in my mind, as I've been battling with constant negative thoughts). Next post will be detailing how I've been feeling on the inside about everything that's been happening (spoilers, not good)
In Feb and early March I've:
Gone on two standard dates (both ended in makeouts)
Gone on an insta date and ended up going on an impromptu road trip with a hot Ukrainian chick who'd arrived in Oz that day (missed an escalation window on the insta date and nothing happened. The road trip was fun but felt like the biggest chode doing it after getting friendzoned, wouldn't repeat but was a good experience in blowing past my comfort zone)
Gone on a double date (made out but missed an escalation window and she declined my invite home)
Made out with three chicks from NG, invited two home but they declined.
Details:
Date 1
Girl I met on a night out. Went on the date, bounced to another venue, then ended by me walking to her car and kissing her. She later said she didn't feel the connection, I asked why, she gave me a detailed breakdown on how she "liked that I approached her and set up the date, but didn't like that I held her hand when asking about her rings, and that I went for the kiss at the end. It was good, but too soon". I had plowed without fully understanding where she was at. I thanked her for her honesty, told her that I'm more of a physical person but that it would have been good to pay more attention to where she was at, and said if she ever wanted to give it another go to let me know.
Date 2
Last week. Tall chick with multiple piercings. Super compliant over text. Met up, chatted. Was a bit too far away. It was an awkward vibe. Bounced to another venue where we were next to each other. She bought a round. Used my standard "I'm glad I came up to talk to you" while looking her in the eyes and made out. We chatted some more. She was a morning person (got up at 4:30am) so she said she had to leave around 30 minutes later. At the end we made out again and I suggested we make cocktails at mine which she enthusiastically agreed to. Tried to set up for the Friday (this was Tuesday) but she said that was her one night off for a big weekend and she wanted to chill. I didn't push and left it. Have been messaging but I feel the vibe shift a bit. I probably could have slept with her on the date given how compliant she was. I have a bad feeling that this ones fizzling.
Insta Date with Hot Ukrainian and road trip
Friday nightgame a couple weeks back. Got into the city solo and spotted a hot blonde chick walking down the street. Hesitated but then ran back. Saw her take a photo of a landmark so opened with "You're a tourist aren't you?" right in front of a group of tradies. Went back and forth teasing each other. Her legs were crossed. She'd just arrived from Ukraine that morning. About 20 minutes in I suggest going to a bar nearby. She agrees and is hanging off me like crazy while I take the lead. Getting IOIs from tons of other chicks and looks from members of the public cause she was hot. On the way we're talking about where to go - I make some suggestions and then she springs this on me "what are you doing tomorrow? Do you want to come with me? Lets go on a road trip!". Naturally I was skeptical and teased her about this. "Damn, already met me and already want to go on a road trip, this is moving pretty fast". She almost begged. I said I wanted to chill this weekend but maybe. Now the reason I said maybe was because just that morning, I'd seen my housemate go on a camping trip and realized I missed going on trips on the weekend. Used to do that with my mates who have since drifted apart. Camping trips, road trips. And now my weekends were just spent and home going to bars. So when that came up I genuinely thought "Hey, might be fun". And the thought made me nervous (spending hours in a car with someone I'd just met" which is partly why I agreed.
Before we got to the bar we go to the bridge overlooking the river. She took a selfie of us. We went back and forth and then after a lot of time I said "fuck it, lets do it". We go to the bar and get a drink. We chat. She asks me if I'm single. I say I am and ask her if she is. She says she's married, and that her husband was currently fighting in Ukraine. Lol. Thing is I'm usually the one who fucks with people so I thought she was being serious. A chair opened up and we went to sit next to each other looking at the river. We were going back and forth but I actually started getting a bit tired (bored?) and stopped talking as much. The vibe shifted and she mentioned that she had to go back to the hostel to get up early. On the way I suggest we go to another bridge overlooking the river. Here, she's talking about the road trip again and I actually am interested to see where this goes. She tells me she's happy to come to my house in the morning. I give her my address (and tease her about how she's going to stalk me now which she laughs at). At the end, I wanted to go for the makeout so I looked in her eyes and gave her (what I thought was) a sexy look. She just looked at me for a couple seconds and said "you are not maniac are you?". "What?". "You won't kill me tomorrow will you?". Great, I try to give her a sexy look and instead come across like a serial killer instead. I jokingly say "I was going to ask you the same thing". We part ways. I feel I've already missed the moment but decide to do tomorrow anyway.
We'd planned on leaving early the next morning and I was tired and couldn't think of anything else, so went home and slept.
Next morning she comes around. Try to keep physical contact up. We grab coffee then head off. The round trip all up was a couple hours, we went to the beach, park and a few small towns. Spent a lot of it talking (and singing to) music. She complimented my voice. "I know" with a cocky smile. The whole time I tried breaking through but it was hard. Obviously the first thing was trying to get more physical. Getting close at the beach and tossing water at her, trying to read where she was at. Felt very hard to escalate physically as I felt she had walls up. Did a handstand on the beach. Then she did and I held her up by her legs. Had her hand feed me cookies while I was driving.
Verbally, was chase framing the shit out of her. Examples: I would be in the car changing for beach and teased her, saying "I appreciate you not looking. I know it's hard with me being so sexy" and her laughing. I told her to say something in Russian. After she did, I thanked her. "Ah that means "you are so handsome doesn't it? You're too kind". She played along laughing. We roleplayed about being married with kids. She brought it up. When she did I teased her about thinking about marriage already. At one point (I don't remember exactly what I said) I implied from what she said that she wanted to have sex with me and she matter of factly said "we are not having sex". I know that when women say this it's usually bs, but this was towards the end where I'd already felt I missed an escalation window and so felt legit. At one point I joked about us having sex in a park. She laughed "you're so perverted haha".
Will give myself credit for how openly I did this and how unafraid I was about getting sexual. This maybe seem like overgaming I dunno, it was over a couple of hours though, not crammed. I do feel that I just didn't build any real sexual tension though. It was more grandmaster style and while she found it funny, I don't know if she resonated as much with it and it sure didn't seem to turn her on.
At the end, we got back to mine. Hugged goodbye. Half jokingly said "Damn, my effort to seduce you failed" which she responded with "Are you joking". Then made some spiel about how the timing wasn't right, she was travelling blah blah. Which we all know is bs. She wanted to catch up the next day at a bar to play table tennis, I gave her a non-committal answer and didn't go.
Double Date
Technically not NG but sort of ended up becoming it. Friend who danced Bachata invited me along to a double date of a hot chick he’d met the previous week. She was bringing along her friend and he wanted me to deal with her. He was also leaving a bit earlier to go to a Bachata event. I like this dude but he annoys the shit out of me sometimes mainly cause he’s one of those “inner game trumps all” guys, completely dismissing technical game as unnecessary. And that shit leads to things like not imposing your frame on the girl to, you know, not bring her friend to a date. But, I digress.
They come along. The friend is this goth chick, tall and a bit dirty looking. She’s meh. His chick is way hotter (I actually gained more respect for him after seeing how hot she was). And I find myself glancing over at her more. I can tell my chick senses the attention drifting and she tries harder to keep things going, touching me, buying me drinks etc. After a while my friend says he’s going to the Bachata event and invites us along (“can get more physical there”). I’m like whatever. I initially suggested going to play a bit of pool and some dingy bar, would have been easier to pull rather than getting distracted by a bunch of other people around, but whatever. I didn’t care much either way so went.
When we got there, I lose them and see my chick dancing with some balding dude, who’s leading her around and teaching her dance moves. For some reason my intuition tells me that I have nothing to worry about just based on observing him. Sure enough, I’m right, as when I go to the bar to grab a drink she comes over leaving him and telling me that we need to dance. Then when he’s out of earshot she tells me how he was a bit weird, inviting her home already. I laugh. We dance. It’s getting sexual, we’re making out. I’ve had so much to drink at this point I’m actually started to get attracted to her and get a boner. Dirty talking in her ear, telling her I know she wants to be tied up while I take full control and do what I want with her. She was going “mm”. Still, the dirty talk was kinda lame and amateur though. Delivery and choice of words was a bit awkward.
This is where I fucked it I think. Buying temp was high there, and I had a raging boner, so that’s the point where I should have just said “alright, we’re leaving” and gotten the fuck out of there. Instead we danced and made out more and I spun her a couple times and the tension that had been built died. Making out had destroyed all the tension completely. Then made a lame ass attempt to get her out of there “we should go finish the dance”. She said “I can’t, I’m staying with (friends girl) tonight”. My boner had died at that point already so I didn’t even try to persist.
Friend also said the vibe suddenly shifted with his too (he was off dancing with others at the Bachata event). Told him the same thing (missed an escalation window)
Night Game Makeout and Invite 1
Belgian chick, a tall cute brunette who was here after getting cheated on by her BF. Opened when she was in the line to get drinks (there were two lines) by going to her and saying "I'm choosing this line because you seem like you know what you're doing. If it goes slow and we lose to the other line I'm blaming you". She didn't really understand. Me and my wing chatted to her, I made sure to make my intent clear through the interaction, touching her frequently. She commented that I was the only young guy who had approached her in the week she'd been here, the others had all been "old". She was 28 though so not that young herself. She mentioned that one of the guys had invited her on a roadtrip, but she was iffy because she didn't know his intent. To this I decided to go obvious. "Yeah, that's kinda weird that he wouldn't make it clear from the start. Like, I'll be straight up with you. I think you're sexy" but in a playful way so that she laughed but also knew I was being serious.
Bounced to another bar, wing leaves. I'm dancing with her, she's smiling while looking around the room. Not sensing she is waiting for any move. Have no idea how to escalate since she's being closed off. So I straight up tell her "That smile is sexy. I want to kiss you". She then smiles and kisses me. But her hair smelled kinda rank which was a turn off. After that the vibe shifted completely, she was open and coming into my arms, making out, but when I went for the pull she hesitated. "I'm not sure yet". Also note we were communicating through google translate at many points. Her objection was that I was out of the main city area (but still only 15 minutes) and she took a while to warm up. Despite my best efforts she left but told me she wanted to give me her number since she wanted to see me again. Next day texted, she said she was busy sorting out where to live but wanted to make it clear she wasn’t after I relationship. I responded saying I was looking for people to vibe with, understanding that she wasn’t going to be here for long so a relo wouldn’t be possible anyway. She didn’t respond.
Night Game Makeout and Invite 1
Asian chick. In club, up against wall on her own. She was cute, nothing special. Went up, chit chatted, made out, 10 minutes later we’re outside. She tells me she’s leaving the next day, I say some bs about making her last night memorable. She objects in an almost needy? way “I feel like you might only want me for the one thing though. And then once it happens I’ll never see you again”. Bitch you’re flying out tomorrow. What the fuck do you think this is? Of course we’re never going to see each other again. I plow some more, she says that she wants to stay in touch. LOL yeah right. I straight up give some bs about how I usually don’t stay in touch with people when they move elsewhere and tell her I’m going back inside. She then says sadly “I know that once you go back inside I’m never going to see you again”. Da fuck, we’ve known each other like 10 minutes. Whatever.
Night Game Makeout 3
I was heavily drunk here. Hot black chick walks past and slaps my ass. I tease her "did you just slap my ass?". To which she responds "what are you gonna do about it". I slap hers. See her later with friends, tease her about the ass slap again. Exchange names. We go to dance, we makeout. Again, fully drunk at this point so I'm just going crazy on the dfloor with her, grabbing her ass. After a short while of this she left. Later at another venue see her talking with another dude on his lap. TBH that night I was bored at the prospect of just being with one chick (I hadn't gotten that drunk in ages) and was just shooting the shit with everyone. Made out with another hot chick I'm pretty sure but barely remember. Stache was dumbfounded at how easily I was opening and hooking girls "how are you doing it?". Felt good being the one better than him for once. Well, that's what happens when I drink as much as you do (he easily drinks like minimum 10 a night on Friday and Sat. I have no idea how he affords it). I spoke with no filter. Everything that came out of my mouth was funny as fuck (I made the entire tram cack up laughing). But it was fucking expensive (I spent almost 200 dollars that night, including ubers) and unsustainable. But so fun. I'd forgotten how fun being drunk was. And I didn't even get a bad hangover the next day. This is how people become alcoholics.
These are the most notable interactions. Lots more has happened (mainly in my mind, as I've been battling with constant negative thoughts). Next post will be detailing how I've been feeling on the inside about everything that's been happening (spoilers, not good)
- Joined
- Jan 17, 2019
- Messages
- 774
So continuing from the above, my mind has been going haywire. And I can pin it down to a few very simple reasons -
1. Going out so much and feeling like a loser by not getting anything.
2. Seeing Gold, Stache and my other friends absolutely crushing it. And the immense pressure that has put on me. While I've gone months without I'm constantly being reminded of just how effortless it seems for others and it sucks. This is the main thing that has been driving me insane. I had similar thoughts months ago and got some great advice on it "you should be taking so much action that it doesn't even matter what they're doing" but it's hard to not pay attention to what they're doing when it's right in front of your face all the time.
Examples:
1. We get to the venue, I open a two set of hot tall chicks. One of the left is nice but I can't break though. Stache mistakenly thinks I want the one on the right and chats up the one of the left. 10 minutes later they're making out. 40 minutes after that they're leaving, while I'm stuck not getting anywhere with the friend. That night I went nuts when leaving. Almost wanted to crash my car on the way home. Got home and was kicking shit around because I was so frustrated and angry with myself.
2. At a bar Friday. Gold starts dancing with this hot blonde chick. They go home together. Fair play. Next night (Saturday) we're out at a bar. I'm chatting to the friend of a chick that Stache opened. Found out she has a boyfriend so I'm getting nowhere. Meanwhile Gold and Evans are sitting there at the table minding their own business. This sexy chick walks up to Gold and starts chatting. Another cute one comes up to Evans. Gold is making out with his chick 30 minutes later. They leave together (she drives him back to our place). Evans doesn't have good game so messes it up. But still, was frustrating seeing a chick I was attracted to making it so easy by approaching him. I then am talking to her friend, this cute but slightly overweight chick who is clearly attracted and she's playing coy and hard to get and then leaves when I go for the makeout "nope". Are you fucking kidding me. Imagine being in that situation where an overweight chick rejects you while your mate has a sexy chick approach him and they're leaving an hour later.
3. Another friend talking about how he'd slept with so many chicks from Hinge this year it was crazy, and how he didn't have time for anything else at times. Talking about how a sexy girl with a boyfriend (who I'd approached for him because he has really bad AA) was still messaging him months after the fact wanting to hangout (he's pretty sure she would cheat as her bf lives overseas)
4. Still, another mate talking about the girls he met overseas in Thailand. And his look of surprise and the shame I felt when I told him I'd been going out every weekend and hadn't been laid since December. Even though he was cool about it afterwards ("Man we gotta get you some!").
These are only a few examples. I have many more.
Honestly in the last month I have been fighting continuous pangs of depression, have felt like giving up a million times, have fantasized about violence GTA style, have even thought about offing myself. Recently I've been having "what's the point, it's not going to work for me" loser thoughts again and the anger has started becoming apathy. Maybe I'm becoming emotionally numb.
It's kind of fascinating actually looking at my mind from the 3rd person. I've seen the transition from what a normal healthy person looks like to what incels feel in the span of a couple months.
Now I say all this, but this aint' a sob story and it ain't the end. These are just the thoughts I've been having and it's important to capture everything happening on this journey, ups and downs.
When I take a step back, lots of positive things have happened over the last month. I mean, my previous entry is proof of that. Lots of girls out there who do want me. My frustration at not being able to convert and the negativity surrounding that has been outweighing the positivity.
My brain has been wired to see the negative but I know the positives are there, and that I have been making progress.
It's just been very slow
1. Going out so much and feeling like a loser by not getting anything.
2. Seeing Gold, Stache and my other friends absolutely crushing it. And the immense pressure that has put on me. While I've gone months without I'm constantly being reminded of just how effortless it seems for others and it sucks. This is the main thing that has been driving me insane. I had similar thoughts months ago and got some great advice on it "you should be taking so much action that it doesn't even matter what they're doing" but it's hard to not pay attention to what they're doing when it's right in front of your face all the time.
Examples:
1. We get to the venue, I open a two set of hot tall chicks. One of the left is nice but I can't break though. Stache mistakenly thinks I want the one on the right and chats up the one of the left. 10 minutes later they're making out. 40 minutes after that they're leaving, while I'm stuck not getting anywhere with the friend. That night I went nuts when leaving. Almost wanted to crash my car on the way home. Got home and was kicking shit around because I was so frustrated and angry with myself.
2. At a bar Friday. Gold starts dancing with this hot blonde chick. They go home together. Fair play. Next night (Saturday) we're out at a bar. I'm chatting to the friend of a chick that Stache opened. Found out she has a boyfriend so I'm getting nowhere. Meanwhile Gold and Evans are sitting there at the table minding their own business. This sexy chick walks up to Gold and starts chatting. Another cute one comes up to Evans. Gold is making out with his chick 30 minutes later. They leave together (she drives him back to our place). Evans doesn't have good game so messes it up. But still, was frustrating seeing a chick I was attracted to making it so easy by approaching him. I then am talking to her friend, this cute but slightly overweight chick who is clearly attracted and she's playing coy and hard to get and then leaves when I go for the makeout "nope". Are you fucking kidding me. Imagine being in that situation where an overweight chick rejects you while your mate has a sexy chick approach him and they're leaving an hour later.
3. Another friend talking about how he'd slept with so many chicks from Hinge this year it was crazy, and how he didn't have time for anything else at times. Talking about how a sexy girl with a boyfriend (who I'd approached for him because he has really bad AA) was still messaging him months after the fact wanting to hangout (he's pretty sure she would cheat as her bf lives overseas)
4. Still, another mate talking about the girls he met overseas in Thailand. And his look of surprise and the shame I felt when I told him I'd been going out every weekend and hadn't been laid since December. Even though he was cool about it afterwards ("Man we gotta get you some!").
These are only a few examples. I have many more.
Honestly in the last month I have been fighting continuous pangs of depression, have felt like giving up a million times, have fantasized about violence GTA style, have even thought about offing myself. Recently I've been having "what's the point, it's not going to work for me" loser thoughts again and the anger has started becoming apathy. Maybe I'm becoming emotionally numb.
It's kind of fascinating actually looking at my mind from the 3rd person. I've seen the transition from what a normal healthy person looks like to what incels feel in the span of a couple months.
Now I say all this, but this aint' a sob story and it ain't the end. These are just the thoughts I've been having and it's important to capture everything happening on this journey, ups and downs.
When I take a step back, lots of positive things have happened over the last month. I mean, my previous entry is proof of that. Lots of girls out there who do want me. My frustration at not being able to convert and the negativity surrounding that has been outweighing the positivity.
My brain has been wired to see the negative but I know the positives are there, and that I have been making progress.
It's just been very slow
- Joined
- Oct 11, 2015
- Messages
- 138
Somehow seems like you're in a silo thinking mode right now. Feeling strong pressure to succeed and perhaps missing the cues that you're speeding past with gritted teeth.
At least for me I know this feeling rather well at times. Both good that it makes you feel so driven and taking action, and even better if you remember to do something as simple as pause, take a deep breath, hold it for a few moments, and as you release you also feel the tension and pressure somehow release from your mind and body. Still there but detached, distant. Which gives you the room to think with a clearer mind.
You seem to have great self-awareness so this is probably something more natural to you.
Perhaps take a moment to think about what you're doing well, what you still can improve specifically, and what steps you can take to get there?
Just wanted to comment with my thoughts.
Best,
-Dev
At least for me I know this feeling rather well at times. Both good that it makes you feel so driven and taking action, and even better if you remember to do something as simple as pause, take a deep breath, hold it for a few moments, and as you release you also feel the tension and pressure somehow release from your mind and body. Still there but detached, distant. Which gives you the room to think with a clearer mind.
You seem to have great self-awareness so this is probably something more natural to you.
Perhaps take a moment to think about what you're doing well, what you still can improve specifically, and what steps you can take to get there?
Just wanted to comment with my thoughts.
Best,
-Dev
- Joined
- Mar 2, 2022
- Messages
- 250
Who are Gold and Stache? Are they naturals? PUAs?
You can simply ask them what they do or say
Or observe them and pay attention
Compare with yours, test and see what works
- Joined
- Jan 24, 2021
- Messages
- 1,975
Sorry to hear you're having a rough time. It's tough to feel like you've slid a long way down from where you were at. But it's part of life. It's not going to be the last time you face this kind of challenge, so you may as well figure this one out.
Not to assume too much but it seems like a part of you never got over the breakup and is seizing your emotions, making you feel vulnerable and out of control when you want to be able to lead.
For me, the only way to deal with this kind of trapped emotion is to accept it and try to understand it in a constructive way. Only then does it free up the emotional energy that it uses to keep itself locked in place. Meditation and self-reflection is very very useful here.
Remember life is a hero's journey. That means there are times when you're pushing through the dark alone. But you're not really alone, because you have all the parts of yourself that you denied, if only you would go and forgive them and meet them with some kind of humility, they would come together to make you whole, and keep you company everywhere you go, so that you would be completely at peace with no one else around but yourself.
- Joined
- Nov 11, 2019
- Messages
- 4,782
Beam i know you are frustrated due to negative momentum, being in negative momentum is horrible, it seems like you have no clue, what is that i am doing wrong, and you can go into a spiral... Having friends good with women next to you succeeding and in positive momentum make things that much harder..... One thing to do during negative momentum, is to take step back and you looking were the sticking point or points maybe, and what are you doing good, for example you are excellent are opening, you are ok reaching the hook point, your texting follow upis getting you dates, they are not flaking on the dates (this is huge getting dates).... Also a bit of luck plays a factor i been on set were there are 3 gilrs and i got stuck with the harderst one no down one (at times this happens).... Finally there is something called "commission breath" that is when a sales dude is on a sales lump that is gone through months and he knows he is going to go broke and about to get fired, that makes his interaction more desperate and clients can feel this.... Same happens in seduction.... and water is wet make sure your fundamentals are on point (this is important to).... I am going to tell you that from what i am seeing that has to be twick back from previous years, is a bit more physicality at clubs, notice how your wings are getting more physical, this is an important point that i am hammering in the forum, physicality that was a bit gone from previous years is back (i know you a girl told you, that you touch her hand blah blah but don't go by that backward rationalization or off timing, or bad micro escalation)..... I am also going to work on a dating post more clean at updated eventually.
- Joined
- Jan 17, 2019
- Messages
- 774
I've never heard of the term silo thinking before. Seems you're using it to mean being focused on one thing, the goal, and as a result not paying as much attention to what's actually going on around you, not taking more time to read others. Which makes sense.
I googled silo thinking and found a different definition (working in isolation and not communicating with other members of the team at a workplace). Which ironically is also how I've been feeling - isolated and not using the resources available to me effectively. I've kind of always been this way going it alone which I'm starting to really see the limits of.
I've been practicing the concept of letting go which is similar to what you describe. Actually it did help. The next night after I wanted to crash my car I sat in the car before going out meditating for 10 minutes, letting the negative thoughts come up fully and then releasing them. I felt a lot better and went on to have a great night opening everyone and not caring if I got rejected or not. I wasn't really thinking with a clearer mind though, more unclogging the negativity. I'm sure with more practice being able to think clearly would be a by-product.
It's true that it's a lot easier to see what I'm doing well when I let go of the negative thoughts. For instance, being more physical than I used to be, getting better at making my intentions clear (dirty talking, being unafraid to be sexual or make statements such as "I want to kiss you" with complete conviction). Leading. Gold and Stache both told me "you gotta be more decisive when you do things. Don't say "Hey, what do you say we go do X" and instead be more commanding, "Let's go." "Let's do this". "We're dancing". Which I've slowly been implmenting. Still not fully natural without a couple drinks.
I appreciate it!