- Joined
- Jun 17, 2022
- Messages
- 321
Id try to run a normal 1st meet without expectations. Id forget any agenda and focus on the energy between u and her.
Time-constraint to 1h or so and focus on eye contact, touch, proximity, and sots.
- Joined
- Dec 8, 2017
- Messages
- 355
I hope she wasn't my slutty family firned whos now a doctor:0I dont remember much of the details. I met this hot med student with gorgeous curly dark hair in a rock club. I remember later describing her to my buddy like "She looked like the girl from the XYZ shampoo commercial".
I don't remember how we met exactly or who opened whom. At the time, I'd approach girls in clubs when I was drunk enough, so there's a good chance that's how it happened. My go-to opener at the time was a super crude "Hey, who are you?" but it worked.
We somehow ended up making out on this couch in an elevated area of the club, behind the dance floor and with a wall behind us so it was a bit of a quiet corner of the floor where people would go to smoke joints and stuff. The club itself wasn't huge, it was kind of this oversized dive bar with a dance floor.
Anyway, while making out the girl started taking my dick out and rubbing me off, and I didn't resistShe was lying sideways on my legs, shielding the action from public view... more or less. I think.
At the end of the night I took her number (pre cell phone era so I had to go the bar and ask for pen and paper), called her a few days later and we met either at my place or somewhere else. She then drove me to the city center where I had a beer and she had a tomato juice. (funny the details you do remember after 30 years lol)
We then drove back to mine, made out on the couch and the couch broke down lol. I think we moved to the bed, she started handjobbing me again and my memory is kind of fuzzy there but I believe I came from the hand job and didnt fuck her. Regrettably.
I also remember she had to convince me to escort her to the parking lot, because I was too lazy. She was legitimately scared but I was like "Nothing's going to happen, don't worry". Young me was sometimes stupid like that... big fuckup there, first not fucking her properly and then being an egoistic dick.
I never saw her again, can't remember if I tried to get her out on another date or if I was too embarassed. Pity because she was one very hot and intelligent girl.
Wow u smoke joints inside the club?
-->so I'm guessing you didn't come from the handjob at the club? get jizz all over?
^I hope this is the appropriate way to respond. Either way that's what i wanted to know^
- Joined
- Jun 17, 2022
- Messages
- 321
I dont like my own tone here.
I meant I would do those things. Ofc it was just my 2 cents.
- Joined
- Jul 31, 2023
- Messages
- 359
I don't feel like writing a whole field report, but some notes at least will be valuable. First of all this woman made my day. I was really not in a very good mood lately, to the point that I was thinking why to even go to another date, and although nothing really happened just her energy made me feel well in a masculine way.
First of all I went out to meet her very close to my house, and I knew she was coming out from a language course. She is Ukranian and learning the local language here after coming due to the war. Last time I met her, she is the girl in the group of 4 I approached daygaming last week, she was more casually dressed, so I expected something similar.
And I see her, and she is wearing some classy light coloured heels, a longish black wavy dress and something nice at the top that she was covering holding her books in front of her chest. My point is I saw her, and I thought: Wait did she really do all this for me? And it's nice because I guess I've been feeling a bit too unattractive lately, so her coming like this just put a smile on my face instantly.
I went up to her we greeted each other, I looked her up and down and told her she looked lovely, and she thanked me. And she was warm, I mean I could feel the energy, after a long time I spent a big time of the date fairly hard, so from the beginning it was just feeling good.
We went to the bar close by, took some tea, and sat at the same couch I have been bringing most girls. I had also been giving some light touches at her back, also teasing her slightly, about looking like a schoolgirl with her books and being a good student.
When we sat, she kept some distance between us, not abnormal anyway, and she also had her arms crossed, but we started talking. She went from the side of my broken arm so I was either trying to touch a bit with these fingers naturally, or with the other hand when it made sense.
We talked about what we are doing, in fact she talked way more than me, told about her psychology degree, kinda her life story a well, from studying like crazy at school and getting best grades to becoming a psychologist, then going for a phd in pedagogics and eventually leaving Ukraine after the war and coming here, where she does social work with other refugees.
We also talked about hobbies, and even exchanged some videos of our theatre performances, as she also took part in a small play. We had talked about her past, hobbies, I asked her about adventurousness and she said she likes it sometimes and is not the person that plans meetings for the next month, also told me she enjoys what she is doing and would like to be working in psychology forever. So at some point I asked her about what guys she likes, because she mentioned something about a guy, no love interest really, but I made a spontaneous connection, didn't even think about it much.
She told me she likes masculine men, educated, I told her I like feminine women, especially when they go after what they want and have their own life. She made a joke about how maybe it would be nice to have someone take care of everything and her having to do nothing as she has never tried it, and by the way she said it I felt she mentioned she can enjoy with someone else, I wasn't really sure what she was saying and misinterpreted it telling her jokingly that I cannot be the guy paying for everything, but the other other guy she is enjoying herself with yeah. Not even sure if she understood exactly what I meant.
Then she asked what I am looking for. I didn't want to say anything concrete, so I basically said I go with the flow, I don't believe you can plan things like relationships, you have to explore each other first, and if you feel like you want to spend more time together you do. Anyway, I think I expanded too much on it, and didn't give a clear enough answer which she didn't like.
She asked my age as well, I had her guess, she said around 30+, I told her 28, and she made a reaction of how big the difference is. I told her she looks she could be 28 as well, she thanked me for the compliment but I told her I really mean it, asked for her age, and she said 37.
She looked at me asking if this no problem, and I basically looked at her with confusion telling her why should it be? I told her I see the energy of people, and if I enjoy our time together, and also prefer women who are mature in the mind to connect better. I asked her how she feels about it, she told me that for her it is complicated, and also that she likes older men because of the life experience and knowing what they want, while when she asked me what I want I wasn't really clear.
I explained to her that I mean I am not looking for a relationship, that said I am generally open because you never know what life brings you, but I am also fine being single. She asked me if I am looking for something shortest, I told her it can be shorted, it can be longer if we like each other and want to meet more. I told her I cannot promise her living forever or for 10, 20 years, but I know I am enjoying her company and would like to spend more time with her, all this taking her hand and sensually holding it.
She was still pretty conflicted by the whole thing regarding the age, saying she would need someone for more seriously at this time, and oh how different it would be if she was 27 and it would be perfect, and that she also enjoys me and thinks I have finesse, I am smart, and also brave for coming to talk to her when she was with 3 other girls.
At some point we were lying back with our heads on the pillows, looking at each other from the corner of our eyes. I kinda started making a move for a kiss, but realised how far we were, and also as I was coming close I saw no reaction of hers anticipating it, so I casually stopped midway simply bringing my head closer to hers. At that point she told me I am doing something and hypnotising her, and I jokingly said with seductive eye contact how sorry I am for that.
We kept talking a bit there, I asked her for her plans, she said she would have to go prepare things for work, I also said I would have to prepare some things later but was thinking of inviting her for some wine. She said she didn't have time, so I didn't push it.
We stayed there pretty close looking at each other and talking, she asked me for example if I want to stay her and I said for now yeah, later who knows and asked her back. I thought about going for a kiss sometimes, but wasn't sure if it's a good practice to go for it now, it wasn't really a fear of escalation, but more a fear of what if I go for it now and if it even works, will that be better for next times, or staying in this seductive mode without going for it sets a better frame? Anyway I think I appeared too hesitant because of this strategic overthinking, and at some point she just said if we should go.
As we were getting up, I asked if she has time for a short walk, she said no and we can do it next time, so we started walking towards the tram station, and she asked if I've lived in this area for long and if I live, but I didn't consider them invitations at this point. While walking I started thinking that she wanted a masculine man, and if I don't at least try for a kiss, I may just appear too fearful. I knew that I had probably lost the window, but felt it would eventually set a better frame to just go for it. I even thought maybe it would be even better than the obvious couch kissing when we were closed.
As we were walking she said something, I looked at her and laughed she turned around walking in front, I gently grabbed her arm and turned her to face me and went for a kiss, but she turned her head slightly and let me plant it on her cheek. Funny thing is that I pulled her in with the right hand, so I instinctively raised the broken left one to hold her head for the kiss which obviously didn't work, and even if I wanted to manhandle kiss her, which wasn't what I was feeling in the moment, I couldn't really do it.
Immediately after that she asked if she was funny or something like that. I tried to understand and asked her back what she meant, it took a bit to really communicate there, she told me because I laughed before, and I basically told her I don't know yet we have just met but I am enjoying our time.
We kept walking talking about random stuff like languages we speak, cooking etc, nothing really erotic at this point even in the vibe that much but at least I was happy I remained quite relaxed after the failed kiss. I mean it really didn't seem like it affected me, I was just chatting normally.
We arrived at the tram station, and she had to wait for 7 minutes so I told her I would keep her company since we came all the way here and my place is very close anyway. We still talked for random things, something interesting, not sure how important, is that I was mostly standing looking straight but she spent most of the time at a 90 degree angle facing me. I also played with my weight a bit bringing it from one side to the other. When the tram came I opened my hands, she did come for a hug after first expecting me to go to her, she thanked me for the evening, and I told her to go go there and take it, because it was stopping a bit further than we were. I realised later I wanted to tell her to text me when she gets home safe, but I forgot. I think now I will send one tomorrow if she doesn't text first, telling her I enjoyed the evening and mentioned something related to her.
All in all, I truly enjoyed her energy, the vibe was to be kissing from the moment we met, I could feel the chemistry. That said I probably could have handled certain things better. I didn't want to say whether I want a relationship or not, because apart from not really knowing myself, I didn't want to say something absolute that could ruin my chances. But I should learn to express these thing in more clear words and more concisely.
Also I am not sure about the kissing, maybe I should have done it earlier, but I really don't know, my idea was to keep the tension up, and I was wondering whether releasing it with a kiss there would make sense. But then I felt maybe she will just think I am too much of a pushy, so I better just grab her and go for it randomly to show that if given the chance, I will make a move at least. Probably all of it at the wrong timing, so I have to really decide if I want to be kissing girls if we are not going to a seduction location, or not, and just stick with it and if I feel there is an opening for a kiss go for it. I really feel that the worst is coming off as scared to kiss, and sometimes I don't know if just staying there and keeping the tension is enough to make her feel you will make a move if you get the chance.
Last thing regarding the age. FIrst of all I really meant that she looked younger, around 30 for example, but apart from that it does seem I attract and go out a lot with older women, even 10+ years older. It's not that I do it because I have a fetish or something, I just like their refined feminine energy and don't even realise the age gap emotionally until they bring it up. And it's just sad, I'm trying to be real with them, but I don't know if it is something about my framing, or I am not exciting enough or what else. I've even kissed a bunch of 40+ year old women in fact, but after that nothing, and the worse thing is that I really feel the energy between us.
For this one specifically I don't have many hopes. I mean in general my hopes after a first date are not many, but judging from her whole thing about the age difference and the failed kiss, I don't believe there will be a next time. I'll try to keep in touch and organise something more, though. And anyway as I said from the beginning, don't know how it sounds, since I really did nothing with her eventually, but her energy did make feel better as a man in a way. And I am pretty glad I had this date, because it reminded me that there are some girls that you will just vibe well naturally, and it' not just about trying to sexualise something seemingly platonic all the time.
Also the hell, I think I did end up writing some kind of report in the end. I don't have many details regarding the conversation, but if anyone reads it, let me know if it feels report worthy, and I can also post it there for discussion.
First of all I went out to meet her very close to my house, and I knew she was coming out from a language course. She is Ukranian and learning the local language here after coming due to the war. Last time I met her, she is the girl in the group of 4 I approached daygaming last week, she was more casually dressed, so I expected something similar.
And I see her, and she is wearing some classy light coloured heels, a longish black wavy dress and something nice at the top that she was covering holding her books in front of her chest. My point is I saw her, and I thought: Wait did she really do all this for me? And it's nice because I guess I've been feeling a bit too unattractive lately, so her coming like this just put a smile on my face instantly.
I went up to her we greeted each other, I looked her up and down and told her she looked lovely, and she thanked me. And she was warm, I mean I could feel the energy, after a long time I spent a big time of the date fairly hard, so from the beginning it was just feeling good.
We went to the bar close by, took some tea, and sat at the same couch I have been bringing most girls. I had also been giving some light touches at her back, also teasing her slightly, about looking like a schoolgirl with her books and being a good student.
When we sat, she kept some distance between us, not abnormal anyway, and she also had her arms crossed, but we started talking. She went from the side of my broken arm so I was either trying to touch a bit with these fingers naturally, or with the other hand when it made sense.
We talked about what we are doing, in fact she talked way more than me, told about her psychology degree, kinda her life story a well, from studying like crazy at school and getting best grades to becoming a psychologist, then going for a phd in pedagogics and eventually leaving Ukraine after the war and coming here, where she does social work with other refugees.
We also talked about hobbies, and even exchanged some videos of our theatre performances, as she also took part in a small play. We had talked about her past, hobbies, I asked her about adventurousness and she said she likes it sometimes and is not the person that plans meetings for the next month, also told me she enjoys what she is doing and would like to be working in psychology forever. So at some point I asked her about what guys she likes, because she mentioned something about a guy, no love interest really, but I made a spontaneous connection, didn't even think about it much.
She told me she likes masculine men, educated, I told her I like feminine women, especially when they go after what they want and have their own life. She made a joke about how maybe it would be nice to have someone take care of everything and her having to do nothing as she has never tried it, and by the way she said it I felt she mentioned she can enjoy with someone else, I wasn't really sure what she was saying and misinterpreted it telling her jokingly that I cannot be the guy paying for everything, but the other other guy she is enjoying herself with yeah. Not even sure if she understood exactly what I meant.
Then she asked what I am looking for. I didn't want to say anything concrete, so I basically said I go with the flow, I don't believe you can plan things like relationships, you have to explore each other first, and if you feel like you want to spend more time together you do. Anyway, I think I expanded too much on it, and didn't give a clear enough answer which she didn't like.
She asked my age as well, I had her guess, she said around 30+, I told her 28, and she made a reaction of how big the difference is. I told her she looks she could be 28 as well, she thanked me for the compliment but I told her I really mean it, asked for her age, and she said 37.
She looked at me asking if this no problem, and I basically looked at her with confusion telling her why should it be? I told her I see the energy of people, and if I enjoy our time together, and also prefer women who are mature in the mind to connect better. I asked her how she feels about it, she told me that for her it is complicated, and also that she likes older men because of the life experience and knowing what they want, while when she asked me what I want I wasn't really clear.
I explained to her that I mean I am not looking for a relationship, that said I am generally open because you never know what life brings you, but I am also fine being single. She asked me if I am looking for something shortest, I told her it can be shorted, it can be longer if we like each other and want to meet more. I told her I cannot promise her living forever or for 10, 20 years, but I know I am enjoying her company and would like to spend more time with her, all this taking her hand and sensually holding it.
She was still pretty conflicted by the whole thing regarding the age, saying she would need someone for more seriously at this time, and oh how different it would be if she was 27 and it would be perfect, and that she also enjoys me and thinks I have finesse, I am smart, and also brave for coming to talk to her when she was with 3 other girls.
At some point we were lying back with our heads on the pillows, looking at each other from the corner of our eyes. I kinda started making a move for a kiss, but realised how far we were, and also as I was coming close I saw no reaction of hers anticipating it, so I casually stopped midway simply bringing my head closer to hers. At that point she told me I am doing something and hypnotising her, and I jokingly said with seductive eye contact how sorry I am for that.
We kept talking a bit there, I asked her for her plans, she said she would have to go prepare things for work, I also said I would have to prepare some things later but was thinking of inviting her for some wine. She said she didn't have time, so I didn't push it.
We stayed there pretty close looking at each other and talking, she asked me for example if I want to stay her and I said for now yeah, later who knows and asked her back. I thought about going for a kiss sometimes, but wasn't sure if it's a good practice to go for it now, it wasn't really a fear of escalation, but more a fear of what if I go for it now and if it even works, will that be better for next times, or staying in this seductive mode without going for it sets a better frame? Anyway I think I appeared too hesitant because of this strategic overthinking, and at some point she just said if we should go.
As we were getting up, I asked if she has time for a short walk, she said no and we can do it next time, so we started walking towards the tram station, and she asked if I've lived in this area for long and if I live, but I didn't consider them invitations at this point. While walking I started thinking that she wanted a masculine man, and if I don't at least try for a kiss, I may just appear too fearful. I knew that I had probably lost the window, but felt it would eventually set a better frame to just go for it. I even thought maybe it would be even better than the obvious couch kissing when we were closed.
As we were walking she said something, I looked at her and laughed she turned around walking in front, I gently grabbed her arm and turned her to face me and went for a kiss, but she turned her head slightly and let me plant it on her cheek. Funny thing is that I pulled her in with the right hand, so I instinctively raised the broken left one to hold her head for the kiss which obviously didn't work, and even if I wanted to manhandle kiss her, which wasn't what I was feeling in the moment, I couldn't really do it.
Immediately after that she asked if she was funny or something like that. I tried to understand and asked her back what she meant, it took a bit to really communicate there, she told me because I laughed before, and I basically told her I don't know yet we have just met but I am enjoying our time.
We kept walking talking about random stuff like languages we speak, cooking etc, nothing really erotic at this point even in the vibe that much but at least I was happy I remained quite relaxed after the failed kiss. I mean it really didn't seem like it affected me, I was just chatting normally.
We arrived at the tram station, and she had to wait for 7 minutes so I told her I would keep her company since we came all the way here and my place is very close anyway. We still talked for random things, something interesting, not sure how important, is that I was mostly standing looking straight but she spent most of the time at a 90 degree angle facing me. I also played with my weight a bit bringing it from one side to the other. When the tram came I opened my hands, she did come for a hug after first expecting me to go to her, she thanked me for the evening, and I told her to go go there and take it, because it was stopping a bit further than we were. I realised later I wanted to tell her to text me when she gets home safe, but I forgot. I think now I will send one tomorrow if she doesn't text first, telling her I enjoyed the evening and mentioned something related to her.
All in all, I truly enjoyed her energy, the vibe was to be kissing from the moment we met, I could feel the chemistry. That said I probably could have handled certain things better. I didn't want to say whether I want a relationship or not, because apart from not really knowing myself, I didn't want to say something absolute that could ruin my chances. But I should learn to express these thing in more clear words and more concisely.
Also I am not sure about the kissing, maybe I should have done it earlier, but I really don't know, my idea was to keep the tension up, and I was wondering whether releasing it with a kiss there would make sense. But then I felt maybe she will just think I am too much of a pushy, so I better just grab her and go for it randomly to show that if given the chance, I will make a move at least. Probably all of it at the wrong timing, so I have to really decide if I want to be kissing girls if we are not going to a seduction location, or not, and just stick with it and if I feel there is an opening for a kiss go for it. I really feel that the worst is coming off as scared to kiss, and sometimes I don't know if just staying there and keeping the tension is enough to make her feel you will make a move if you get the chance.
Last thing regarding the age. FIrst of all I really meant that she looked younger, around 30 for example, but apart from that it does seem I attract and go out a lot with older women, even 10+ years older. It's not that I do it because I have a fetish or something, I just like their refined feminine energy and don't even realise the age gap emotionally until they bring it up. And it's just sad, I'm trying to be real with them, but I don't know if it is something about my framing, or I am not exciting enough or what else. I've even kissed a bunch of 40+ year old women in fact, but after that nothing, and the worse thing is that I really feel the energy between us.
For this one specifically I don't have many hopes. I mean in general my hopes after a first date are not many, but judging from her whole thing about the age difference and the failed kiss, I don't believe there will be a next time. I'll try to keep in touch and organise something more, though. And anyway as I said from the beginning, don't know how it sounds, since I really did nothing with her eventually, but her energy did make feel better as a man in a way. And I am pretty glad I had this date, because it reminded me that there are some girls that you will just vibe well naturally, and it' not just about trying to sexualise something seemingly platonic all the time.
Also the hell, I think I did end up writing some kind of report in the end. I don't have many details regarding the conversation, but if anyone reads it, let me know if it feels report worthy, and I can also post it there for discussion.
- Joined
- Jul 31, 2023
- Messages
- 359
Nah no reason to delete, you just answered a question regarding something you wrote. I guess if you start a long discussion with someone for something random in another person's journal, it will be weird yeah. Thanks for caring to ask anyway.
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- Nov 7, 2023
- Messages
- 981
Move faster move faster move faster
All this hesitating is going to put you in the boyfriend category. Which I thought you wanted to avoid.
That was actually the point why I brought up the story that mrman asked about, my point was that escalating in public doesn't have to hurt you at all if you do it right. I know many people disagree but maybe they aren't the greatest kissers lol.
If I were in your shoes, I'd definitely have kissed (or at least tried to) the girl on the couch. If she's gonna turn her head away well that's what she's gonna do, but you can still rinse and repeat later.
I mean all this verbalizing that you don't want a relationship, then you've also got to act like it and move fast. Otherwise you're just gonna be a platonic friend.
But it's great you went for the kiss later! Well done. It sounds like you had a good time!
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- Jul 31, 2023
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- 359
Yeah the point is I was thinking that by kissing I will get even deeper in the boyfriend category with her thinking she has me now, making me wait for sex until she feels like it.
But I read your comment and it is something that I would like as an experience. Maybe it has never happened because I've always been trying to think what is the best action to do that would lead to sex eventually and not to enjoy the moment.
But I did feel that she was a bit tired of me being there ultra close at a perfect position to go for a kiss and me not doing it. That's why I just went for it later, because I felt her leaving without me going for something would be even worse. But maybe it was just late.
And don't know about the platonic friend thing, normally they just don't see a point to meet me again. And honestly that's what I feel it's gonna happen here as well. Guy out of my age range for long term, obviously liking me, but not exciting and masculine enough for short term, nothing I can use him for.
Maybe you are right regarding kissing, in the sense that a lover, would not think that a kiss makes him too romantic and like a boyfriend, he would just do it if he felt it.
And yeah regarding the enjoyment, the vibe was good indeed, but in the end I am again home alone, so I don't know. When she sends me she doesn't want to meet again or just ghosts me it will feel as another fail added to the previous ones. Maybe even worse knowing that here there was a vibe.
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- Jul 31, 2023
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Yeah that's why I am doing it at home, I just feel it will not lead to the pull that will lead to sex. I feel she will start acting coy after the kiss, and having all the validation that I like her not want to go to my place for obviously having sex.
And I am not even theorising this, I've kissed a bunch of girls and I do sense this dynamic shifting after it and them not wanting to get somewhere in private. Although I must say that most of the kisses I have tried in planned dates, meaning scenarios like today's going out for a drink together, have been rejected, and not always for going slow. So I am probably doing something very wrong regarding when I am kissing and how I am using it.
Maybe I should learn to differentiate somehow. And girls who are ready for sex, you just take them at home for sex, while girls who are not yet, you kiss them and work it from there.
I've seen lately that I basically invite all my dates at home, and when they don't want to come, I am sitting wondering that if they want something more, they know it happens when we are alone. So they are probably rejecting my offer to go home, because they are not that interested. But it could be they are just not ready and I am not preparing them well enough.
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- Nov 7, 2023
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- 981
Okay, if that works for you, great! Not gonna debate this over and over, I guess each guy has his personal style and that's fine with me. My personal style is, if the chemistry is good with a girl, she gets so turned on by the kissing that pulling her becomes a lot easier than if we just talk. But of course kissing her well is an art in itself.
That said... I just remembered that you actually did go for the kiss on the sofa, and she didn't reciprocate. So maybe the vibe wasn't there after all on her part.
And she mentioned another guy right? That was probably her lover... when she told you "not a love interest" it means he's just banging her but not a boyfriend... at least that's my interpretation. I mean why else would she mention him?
That was no joke... that was what she's looking for... defnitely sounds like boyfriend land to me :/
My impression is that with the cast it's gonna be a lot harder for you to give off fuckboy vibes... but when it comes off you'll be unstoppable!
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- Jul 31, 2023
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- 359
Yeah wasn't try to make it look like I just want to do it at home only. I am not even debating if it is better there or not. If I find a way to kiss them in public and have them come back home consistently I will love it, and I am open for trying, since not kissing also doesn't give great results. Probably makes sure that the ones that are down for sex just come for sex.
Yeah it was pretty far in fact there, so I started getting my face closer to hers for a kiss, and at some point although I had moved quite a bit already I didn't see any reaction from her face indicating she was ready or leaning into it. So in order not to cover the rest of the distance and make it too awkward, I smoothly stopped in the middle and readjusted myself, like I just wanted to get a bit closer to her. That's when she told me I am hypnotising her.
You have a point for her not being ready though. Having gotten a number of kisses rejected and accepted, today although I felt the vibe, I didn't feel at any moment that she would really kiss back, I would have betted on the kiss being rejected if I had to, even at the couch. When I said we should be kissing from the beginning by the way, I didn't mean it literally, more that I saw in her eyes that she was excited to see me.
I'm not even sure what she said there honestly, I didn't follow exactly, wasn't even sure if she meant the guy that would be taking care of her or another guy, but it didn't seem like she was mentioning someone she already has. I simply misinterpreted what she said to tell her I wouldn't be the provider and would be the lover, but still no idea what she said exactly, the way she structured these sentences confused me and her english was not perfect.
Yeah I figured she wanted this for real, that's why I clarified it wouldn't be me. I don't think she was putting me in a boyfriend role here though, because just due to the age I wasn't qualifying for that. Or at least that's how she made it seem.
Anyway this whole dynamic of the older woman being into me but holding herself back from doing something due to the age difference is something I have encountered before. So it's not abnormal at all. With younger women, or at least not that older women, I feel that they still think a relationship could be possible logically, so they can more easily go for sex, knowing it's not only about the sex. With way older women it ends up being a case of knowing that there is no relationship happening, so it is mostly about sex.
I probably do a bad job making them feel that it's normal for two people with 10+ years of difference to just enjoy each other sexually, maybe they feel I am fetishising them, or just go for them because I would go for any woman as long as I can have sex. And this saddens me because a lot of times i will approach them really because I feel something more intense for them than for a random cute teenager. I mean it when I say we can communicate more and I love that. Wouldn't mind having sex with a young girl as well of course, but I cannot imagine taking her out on a date and talking deeply.
I mean I don't think I ever was giving that many fuckboy vibes haha. Maybe I should just let myself make moves whenever I feel it and not care so much about appearing unsold to them.
- Joined
- Jul 31, 2023
- Messages
- 359
What a mess. I was planning some kind of weekend trip, left things last minute, and basically couldn't manage to book the tickets. It's a bit complicated, but I have some travel benefits, and although I can use them to book trips whenever I want, it's possible that if the flights end up being full to not get in. So I was planning to book it one day before going, to make sure that there are still extra seats and it's possible. And normally it should be fine, but it's the first time I use this platform and didn't realise it wouldn't accept my card but wanted a different one. And anyway, I can transfer money to another one for next time, but now for tomorrow it's basically impossible to pay, so I'm not gonna go.
I could ask my father to use his card in fact, as I know it would work, but at some point I just did not feel like it. Maybe I should have just done it, and I gave up too early, but I simply felt after a while it's not worth it, and that I brought myself here, so I should just deal with all the frustration it caused me, accept it, and move on.
I had also told to one girl that I would be away for the weekend and to another girl today I basically proposed to come with me if she is spontaneous enough. Will be funny going back and saying I didn't end up going. But anyway, forget the girls really, it's my birthday tomorrow so I simply felt like going and doing something different for myself, will have to make do with staying around for now, and taking my gift trip some other time.
In other news, I did make a bunch of approaches today, not bad, meaning that the interactions were mostly friendly, but not really any results. I have to mention I was approaching at the airport though as I work close by, so a lot of people busy going around.
One thing I noticed these last days is that approaching is the most important part. I lost some chances because of thinking too much how to approach and whether I am at the right state, and how to come off, so I figured it's better to go when you feel like going and calibrate on the spot, based on the girl's reaction.
I even spoke to one today that I would consider very attractive. Not sure if I would say personal 10, which is good, because probably she was close to it, but I am just reaching the point that the girls I like a lot are beautiful in my eyes for sure, but not outlandish.
And she was pretty friendly, told me she has a boyfriend and they are trying to make it work together, so I didn't really pursue her longer, but we still chatted for a bit. Nice girl really, and honestly I never thought that beautiful girls are bitchy or anything similar, my issue has always been that of course they are nice people, they just don't see any value in me to have further interactions.
And at the end of it all I really think I am missing the part about girls getting you seriously. I've read this article from the website a lot of times, I understand what it talks about, but it's difficult to internalise everything presented and make it part of my identity.
I've tried to be bold and going after what I want, but I realised that not much really changes. I mean women may appreciate it, even see you as brave, it doesn't guarantee though that they will want the same thing themselves. At the extreme you may even be seen as the delusional guy who thinks he has a chance with them.
So I feel it's mainly about working with your life, and remaining at a state that keeps you satisfied and feeds you with successes, so that you are passively masculine in a way.
That's something to look into for sure regarding my life, as I also keep practicing.
I could ask my father to use his card in fact, as I know it would work, but at some point I just did not feel like it. Maybe I should have just done it, and I gave up too early, but I simply felt after a while it's not worth it, and that I brought myself here, so I should just deal with all the frustration it caused me, accept it, and move on.
I had also told to one girl that I would be away for the weekend and to another girl today I basically proposed to come with me if she is spontaneous enough. Will be funny going back and saying I didn't end up going. But anyway, forget the girls really, it's my birthday tomorrow so I simply felt like going and doing something different for myself, will have to make do with staying around for now, and taking my gift trip some other time.
In other news, I did make a bunch of approaches today, not bad, meaning that the interactions were mostly friendly, but not really any results. I have to mention I was approaching at the airport though as I work close by, so a lot of people busy going around.
One thing I noticed these last days is that approaching is the most important part. I lost some chances because of thinking too much how to approach and whether I am at the right state, and how to come off, so I figured it's better to go when you feel like going and calibrate on the spot, based on the girl's reaction.
I even spoke to one today that I would consider very attractive. Not sure if I would say personal 10, which is good, because probably she was close to it, but I am just reaching the point that the girls I like a lot are beautiful in my eyes for sure, but not outlandish.
And she was pretty friendly, told me she has a boyfriend and they are trying to make it work together, so I didn't really pursue her longer, but we still chatted for a bit. Nice girl really, and honestly I never thought that beautiful girls are bitchy or anything similar, my issue has always been that of course they are nice people, they just don't see any value in me to have further interactions.
And at the end of it all I really think I am missing the part about girls getting you seriously. I've read this article from the website a lot of times, I understand what it talks about, but it's difficult to internalise everything presented and make it part of my identity.
I've tried to be bold and going after what I want, but I realised that not much really changes. I mean women may appreciate it, even see you as brave, it doesn't guarantee though that they will want the same thing themselves. At the extreme you may even be seen as the delusional guy who thinks he has a chance with them.
So I feel it's mainly about working with your life, and remaining at a state that keeps you satisfied and feeds you with successes, so that you are passively masculine in a way.
That's something to look into for sure regarding my life, as I also keep practicing.
- Joined
- Jul 31, 2023
- Messages
- 359
Had sex with a girl yesterday night. Not sure exactly how to feel about it, since she is a girl that I wouldn't really approach if I saw outside. We met online, and as she herself wrote in her profile, she is fat. Cute face and boobs though, so I had some aspects that were exciting me about her physically, and she is also quite sexual, we had a great playful vibe throughout the day, and I was hard a lot.
I say throughout because she basically works as a train ticket inspector and after telling her I wouldn't be travelling abroad eventually, she proposed I come with her train all the way to some other city, have a drink there and then come back. I had no plans, so I just went for it, good thing is she let me travel without paying.
In the train she was working mostly so I chilled, and during the breaks and after stopping we would spend time together. It wasn't so straightforward to get to sex in fact. In the beginning I think I was a bit tense, trying to play it serious and masculine somehow, but I realised it wasn't working, she was way more playful, energetic and all over the place, so I skipped most deep diving, and started having more fun, using more innuendo and playfully sexual comments.
I think I may have lost other girls for not doing that, mostly thinking they will consider me a creep, too forward, or with my mind only in sex, but it worked very well with her. Things I ended up doing for example are licking some cookies seductively at the bar and giving her to eat them and inviting her to do the same, or taking her hand and kissing seductively in public like it's a pussy, anyway, a number of teasing things, we even exchanged dirty talk messages while in front of each other so noone else could understand what's happening.
So it was quite a fun time, she was playing along, and I loved it because I felt fully myself and free sexually after a while. She even asked me how I am so crazy at some point, and she told me I had going around working while her pussy was dripping wet the whole day.
I gave the first kiss at the bar midway through the trip because I was feeling it and didn't think there was any point to wait for later. Then we exchanged some more, some neck kissing, biting as well, and together with all the teasing and the breaks in between it was quite a powerful cocktail.
When we came back to the city she wanted a drink, proposed we go to her please so she can leave her stuff and then to a bar, but she said she has a flatmate. I had a big bag as well, so I proposed we go to my place so I don't carry this bag around the bars and also have some wine there. Glad I did that because I feel we would have wasted a bunch of time barhopping.
We came to my place, drank some of the wine, and the rest of the escalation went very smoothly. I won't lie, when I saw her body, from the belly and below it was worse than I had imagined, but this also made me realise some interesting points.
First of all the interior of the pussy or mouth has a similar feeling no matter how the girl looks. I didn't enjoy the penetration part any less because of her looks. There were some issues due to her size regarding how to move her, how to find a good angle, but the feeling on my penis itself was just the same.
Secondly even girls like her get crazy attention and chasing by guys. She was quite sexually open so we talked for a bit between orgasms and after sex and she had a similar experience with what I would consider cute girls. Meaning a lot of weirdos online just sending dick picks and asking for sex, a bunch of weirdos in real life as well, she told me she is also attending fetish parties and she has had guys even asking her to be her slaves, and also disappointing sexual experiences with guys cumming fast and making it feel all weird and the like. Pretty interesting, as I was wondering how desperate for sex girls with her look would be, but I realised that just by being a girl by default you are abundant sexually, and you get so many opportunities to explore yourself however you want, and as a result a lot of varied experiences if you exercise these opportunities.
Thirdly, I am not that much focused on looks when it comes to sexual excitement. I do like beauty, and the girl having a nice body, that said purely for sexual arousal, if she gives me the energy, has some cute parts about her, and we have chemistry, my penis will respond. And purely for the sexual pleasure, the way she sucks or she moans or she touches me and looks at me is much more important than the nice body. And this girl was good, she even told me she loves sucking dick, and she delivered.
Last but not least, my issues with how long I last, or how hard I get don't have much to do with how the girl looks. I don't know if subconsciously I may feel that one girl is more beautiful and get more anxious, but even yesterday I felt close to the edge very fast, I came from the blowjob even before she literally started sucking, and for the second round, I had sex without getting to orgasm easily, like most times after I have orgasmed once quickly. It is probably mostly connected then to the state of my body, whether I haven't had sex for long, and how stimulated I am in the moment.
All in all we had a nice vibe, we both enjoyed it, I gave her an orgasm while fingering and sucking her boob, and one during sex while she was also playing with her clit, so it was good to feel that I can give orgasms during sex, even if they are playing with themselves at the same time.
I feel a bit strange though, because all the things I described and all this vibe, as I said it seems to me that is independent of looks really, so I know I should be able to experience with girls that I like more physically as well. It messes with my mind a bit because I know it's not the fact that I am not approaching them, I do, but I rarely get to feel a similar playfully sexual vibe. And I am sure that even physically beautiful girls can love sex and be exciting in bed, so I am wondering in the end if I am not sexual enough with them or they just don't consider me hot enough to show these side of theirs to me.
It's a bit sad really. Mostly because I see all these girls around, I can approach so I have access to them, but in the end it feels that the ones that accept my advances are the ones I like the least. Now someone might say, you had a great time together so you did like her, which is true, that said is that the point really? I don't know, I don't regret this time, it was fun, we may even meet again, but exactly because I know that all girls are girls, and all pussies are pussies, not getting the ones I like more is even weirder for me to grasp, as similar things should work for them.
Anyway, I guess I had some orgasmic birthday gift given to myself at least. I'll keep going, even yesterday I approached 3-4 girls during the breaks when she was working, and I feel I will just try to be more authentically sexual in general. It worked well with her, so surely a bunch of other girls would appreciate it. Maybe I am just focusing a lot on being very real and getting to know them deeply, that I am missing the playfully exciting aspect of the interaction. Still important how to calibrate that to the girl, that said it surely feels like it's lacking now.
I say throughout because she basically works as a train ticket inspector and after telling her I wouldn't be travelling abroad eventually, she proposed I come with her train all the way to some other city, have a drink there and then come back. I had no plans, so I just went for it, good thing is she let me travel without paying.
In the train she was working mostly so I chilled, and during the breaks and after stopping we would spend time together. It wasn't so straightforward to get to sex in fact. In the beginning I think I was a bit tense, trying to play it serious and masculine somehow, but I realised it wasn't working, she was way more playful, energetic and all over the place, so I skipped most deep diving, and started having more fun, using more innuendo and playfully sexual comments.
I think I may have lost other girls for not doing that, mostly thinking they will consider me a creep, too forward, or with my mind only in sex, but it worked very well with her. Things I ended up doing for example are licking some cookies seductively at the bar and giving her to eat them and inviting her to do the same, or taking her hand and kissing seductively in public like it's a pussy, anyway, a number of teasing things, we even exchanged dirty talk messages while in front of each other so noone else could understand what's happening.
So it was quite a fun time, she was playing along, and I loved it because I felt fully myself and free sexually after a while. She even asked me how I am so crazy at some point, and she told me I had going around working while her pussy was dripping wet the whole day.
I gave the first kiss at the bar midway through the trip because I was feeling it and didn't think there was any point to wait for later. Then we exchanged some more, some neck kissing, biting as well, and together with all the teasing and the breaks in between it was quite a powerful cocktail.
When we came back to the city she wanted a drink, proposed we go to her please so she can leave her stuff and then to a bar, but she said she has a flatmate. I had a big bag as well, so I proposed we go to my place so I don't carry this bag around the bars and also have some wine there. Glad I did that because I feel we would have wasted a bunch of time barhopping.
We came to my place, drank some of the wine, and the rest of the escalation went very smoothly. I won't lie, when I saw her body, from the belly and below it was worse than I had imagined, but this also made me realise some interesting points.
First of all the interior of the pussy or mouth has a similar feeling no matter how the girl looks. I didn't enjoy the penetration part any less because of her looks. There were some issues due to her size regarding how to move her, how to find a good angle, but the feeling on my penis itself was just the same.
Secondly even girls like her get crazy attention and chasing by guys. She was quite sexually open so we talked for a bit between orgasms and after sex and she had a similar experience with what I would consider cute girls. Meaning a lot of weirdos online just sending dick picks and asking for sex, a bunch of weirdos in real life as well, she told me she is also attending fetish parties and she has had guys even asking her to be her slaves, and also disappointing sexual experiences with guys cumming fast and making it feel all weird and the like. Pretty interesting, as I was wondering how desperate for sex girls with her look would be, but I realised that just by being a girl by default you are abundant sexually, and you get so many opportunities to explore yourself however you want, and as a result a lot of varied experiences if you exercise these opportunities.
Thirdly, I am not that much focused on looks when it comes to sexual excitement. I do like beauty, and the girl having a nice body, that said purely for sexual arousal, if she gives me the energy, has some cute parts about her, and we have chemistry, my penis will respond. And purely for the sexual pleasure, the way she sucks or she moans or she touches me and looks at me is much more important than the nice body. And this girl was good, she even told me she loves sucking dick, and she delivered.
Last but not least, my issues with how long I last, or how hard I get don't have much to do with how the girl looks. I don't know if subconsciously I may feel that one girl is more beautiful and get more anxious, but even yesterday I felt close to the edge very fast, I came from the blowjob even before she literally started sucking, and for the second round, I had sex without getting to orgasm easily, like most times after I have orgasmed once quickly. It is probably mostly connected then to the state of my body, whether I haven't had sex for long, and how stimulated I am in the moment.
All in all we had a nice vibe, we both enjoyed it, I gave her an orgasm while fingering and sucking her boob, and one during sex while she was also playing with her clit, so it was good to feel that I can give orgasms during sex, even if they are playing with themselves at the same time.
I feel a bit strange though, because all the things I described and all this vibe, as I said it seems to me that is independent of looks really, so I know I should be able to experience with girls that I like more physically as well. It messes with my mind a bit because I know it's not the fact that I am not approaching them, I do, but I rarely get to feel a similar playfully sexual vibe. And I am sure that even physically beautiful girls can love sex and be exciting in bed, so I am wondering in the end if I am not sexual enough with them or they just don't consider me hot enough to show these side of theirs to me.
It's a bit sad really. Mostly because I see all these girls around, I can approach so I have access to them, but in the end it feels that the ones that accept my advances are the ones I like the least. Now someone might say, you had a great time together so you did like her, which is true, that said is that the point really? I don't know, I don't regret this time, it was fun, we may even meet again, but exactly because I know that all girls are girls, and all pussies are pussies, not getting the ones I like more is even weirder for me to grasp, as similar things should work for them.
Anyway, I guess I had some orgasmic birthday gift given to myself at least. I'll keep going, even yesterday I approached 3-4 girls during the breaks when she was working, and I feel I will just try to be more authentically sexual in general. It worked well with her, so surely a bunch of other girls would appreciate it. Maybe I am just focusing a lot on being very real and getting to know them deeply, that I am missing the playfully exciting aspect of the interaction. Still important how to calibrate that to the girl, that said it surely feels like it's lacking now.
- Joined
- Nov 7, 2023
- Messages
- 981
I know the dilemma! The ones that want me, I don't want, and vice versa...
Glad you had a good experience! I'm sure it will rub off on interactions with girls from cold approach in some way.
Oh and happy birthday
- Joined
- Jul 31, 2023
- Messages
- 359
Nothing crazily spectacular this week, right now I’m going to visit a friend in a nearby city for the weekend.
I think my issue is that I don’t get to have enough substantial interactions. I’m still approaching when I go to work and back mostly, but due to the nature of the situation, a lot of girls are just busy or running to catch some public transport.
This can be good if they have a boyfriend so that I don’t waste much time, that said it also leads to interactions being extremely short even with girls that would be interested. For example I got a number this morning while going to catch the train from a girl that I talked to for barely 20 seconds.
I just stop her telling her she looks cute, I saw an excited reaction with a thank you, asked if she lives around, told her I also am but have to leave now to catch a train, so let’s exhange numbers to meet some other time. First she told me to give me hers, I just took my phone out and said she can write it here, I told her my name and she told me hers. Then I asked how it’s written to save it, she told me and also told me to not lose my train, and we parted ways.
I sent an icebreaker that it was lovely to meet and she responded likewise and have a nice wknd. I’ll just tell her to enjoy hers too, and then come back to her around monday.
Anyway this was a bit on the extreme side of short interactions, but a lot of them are not much longer. I’ve had some in fact where we happen to sit with a girl in the bus together, sometimes I open them they don’t feel very responsive, I let it be, and then they come back to me, so I engage again. But a lot of them are also just girls with boyfriends that appreciate the attention.
I’ve also been a bit less pushy lately, meaning that if they are not very responsive, I don’t try to stay there anyway and keep interacting or going for a close no matter what. Not sure if that is a good practice really, it surely gets me less harsh rejections, but I feel sometimes I am not persistent enough.
Another issue is that due to being busy with work and other things I simply don’t text a lot. I may literally forget about it, especially when I send a text, the girl doesn’t respond and I have to think when and how to engage back. And I don’t see a point in just pinging them all the time and trying to get them out, sometimes I may send an extra text or two, but other times I may just lose interest in pursuing them like that when they don’t reciprocate.
And I know the important thing is the interaction itself, but as I said a lot of them are short, and even if they look interested during these ones, they get pretty evasive when the time to plan a date comes.
So not sure what to do. I can just go out for the sole purpose of daygaming, but even then it’s not that most interactions last long, it’s a pretty rare case to find a girl I like that doesn’t have somewhere to be soon and is interested enough. What I get a lot lately is this flattered reaction of hey thanks a lot for the compliment, but bye I have a boyfriend, I’m underaged, I have to run.
It could also be that I am not going that hard at it anymore. And not in the sense of not approaching, I have integrated it pretty well in my daily life, and although I may still hesitate if a girl looks in a hurry or is engaged with friends, I generally go for it. I mostly mean it’s not the main thing I do and I don’t check all the time when exactly to text to maximise my chances, or go out at certain times looking for a pull.
I should probably integrate it more into my schedule, and just go for the results much more intensely. Night game with my hand is still a bit difficult for clubs at least, but I think I should play to win more.
I think my problem has been that I passed through a period where I was going out exactly like that, being pretty forward, but I would get a lot of fast rejections left and right and not enough interactions to even practice. I have to somehow understand how to be social in order to lower people’s defences and then get into seduction mode and escalation without making it look uncalibrated.
Because I feel I am just 0 or 100 in general. Either the girl doesn’t know I care at all, or she knows I primarily talk to her because I like her. And I do this mainly to not lose time just chit chatting and getting nowhere if I am interested, but I am probably skipping an important part of the interaction, especially in places where directly hitting on the girl is not expected.
And I don’t mean social circles only. Even in nightgame I have felt that if I simply go up sexual I get rejected very fast, even girls that like me will be hesitant, and I was trying to understand where all this advice of being very forward and have her know that you have a penis comes from. I was reading some 60 years of challenge material and he was saying that you shouldn’t be afraid looking creepy, since some women will think of you like that when you are seductive anyway. It doesn’t seem like this delusional confidence of the very hot woman in front of me wanting me has helped me a lot when she just rejects me right at the approach, so I am probably missing something vital that makes my confidence less seductive and more like I am overbearing and don’t get it.
I have to find a balance, being unapologetically seductive and sexual while also being socially acceptable to have around.
And all this of course after I get enough time with them to even be social. Can’t really do that a lot day to day during transit, but maybe I can just plan times to go out during less rush hours, and also around places that people are a bit more chill.
I think my issue is that I don’t get to have enough substantial interactions. I’m still approaching when I go to work and back mostly, but due to the nature of the situation, a lot of girls are just busy or running to catch some public transport.
This can be good if they have a boyfriend so that I don’t waste much time, that said it also leads to interactions being extremely short even with girls that would be interested. For example I got a number this morning while going to catch the train from a girl that I talked to for barely 20 seconds.
I just stop her telling her she looks cute, I saw an excited reaction with a thank you, asked if she lives around, told her I also am but have to leave now to catch a train, so let’s exhange numbers to meet some other time. First she told me to give me hers, I just took my phone out and said she can write it here, I told her my name and she told me hers. Then I asked how it’s written to save it, she told me and also told me to not lose my train, and we parted ways.
I sent an icebreaker that it was lovely to meet and she responded likewise and have a nice wknd. I’ll just tell her to enjoy hers too, and then come back to her around monday.
Anyway this was a bit on the extreme side of short interactions, but a lot of them are not much longer. I’ve had some in fact where we happen to sit with a girl in the bus together, sometimes I open them they don’t feel very responsive, I let it be, and then they come back to me, so I engage again. But a lot of them are also just girls with boyfriends that appreciate the attention.
I’ve also been a bit less pushy lately, meaning that if they are not very responsive, I don’t try to stay there anyway and keep interacting or going for a close no matter what. Not sure if that is a good practice really, it surely gets me less harsh rejections, but I feel sometimes I am not persistent enough.
Another issue is that due to being busy with work and other things I simply don’t text a lot. I may literally forget about it, especially when I send a text, the girl doesn’t respond and I have to think when and how to engage back. And I don’t see a point in just pinging them all the time and trying to get them out, sometimes I may send an extra text or two, but other times I may just lose interest in pursuing them like that when they don’t reciprocate.
And I know the important thing is the interaction itself, but as I said a lot of them are short, and even if they look interested during these ones, they get pretty evasive when the time to plan a date comes.
So not sure what to do. I can just go out for the sole purpose of daygaming, but even then it’s not that most interactions last long, it’s a pretty rare case to find a girl I like that doesn’t have somewhere to be soon and is interested enough. What I get a lot lately is this flattered reaction of hey thanks a lot for the compliment, but bye I have a boyfriend, I’m underaged, I have to run.
It could also be that I am not going that hard at it anymore. And not in the sense of not approaching, I have integrated it pretty well in my daily life, and although I may still hesitate if a girl looks in a hurry or is engaged with friends, I generally go for it. I mostly mean it’s not the main thing I do and I don’t check all the time when exactly to text to maximise my chances, or go out at certain times looking for a pull.
I should probably integrate it more into my schedule, and just go for the results much more intensely. Night game with my hand is still a bit difficult for clubs at least, but I think I should play to win more.
I think my problem has been that I passed through a period where I was going out exactly like that, being pretty forward, but I would get a lot of fast rejections left and right and not enough interactions to even practice. I have to somehow understand how to be social in order to lower people’s defences and then get into seduction mode and escalation without making it look uncalibrated.
Because I feel I am just 0 or 100 in general. Either the girl doesn’t know I care at all, or she knows I primarily talk to her because I like her. And I do this mainly to not lose time just chit chatting and getting nowhere if I am interested, but I am probably skipping an important part of the interaction, especially in places where directly hitting on the girl is not expected.
And I don’t mean social circles only. Even in nightgame I have felt that if I simply go up sexual I get rejected very fast, even girls that like me will be hesitant, and I was trying to understand where all this advice of being very forward and have her know that you have a penis comes from. I was reading some 60 years of challenge material and he was saying that you shouldn’t be afraid looking creepy, since some women will think of you like that when you are seductive anyway. It doesn’t seem like this delusional confidence of the very hot woman in front of me wanting me has helped me a lot when she just rejects me right at the approach, so I am probably missing something vital that makes my confidence less seductive and more like I am overbearing and don’t get it.
I have to find a balance, being unapologetically seductive and sexual while also being socially acceptable to have around.
And all this of course after I get enough time with them to even be social. Can’t really do that a lot day to day during transit, but maybe I can just plan times to go out during less rush hours, and also around places that people are a bit more chill.
- Joined
- Jul 31, 2023
- Messages
- 359
Took off my cast today. The doctor said the bone is fine and I will just need some physiotherapy to be able to fully move it normally, since the muscles got too stiff in there. Interesting to feel the hand free again, there is still some pain if I try to move my wrist in certain ways but I already feel it more flexible after just a day.
Not sure if this will really affect my approaches and results, but we'll see. I still did some today, can't remember all of them, as at this point I am simply going for it as I am living my life. I had one that was a bit longer as well today, I'll probably send a scheduler text tomorrow. Had some more that were fairly quicker, not that bad really, just the kind that you realise the time wasn't enough for the interaction to be solid.
And I am not saying that very short interactions can't be solid, they can, but when she is not that sure about you, and the meeting is extra quick she doesn't have enough motivation to respond. Maybe I should try to at least not feel rushed when I talk to them, because I think I naturally do it when there are tight time constraints.
The texting issue still holds. I mean I clearly don't have my mind in texting girls all day, so I may take time to respond, also because I don't want to be sending texts late when I am at home before sleep. Maybe I should prepare some of them from the previous day and send them at some point of the following without thinking. I'm struggling a lot to understand how someone busy would keep an interesting texting exchange going for long, and that's why I always vastly preferred Chase's model of minimal texting and quick invites out.
So I think I will just stay with that, calibrating to the situation a bit of course. Which means I should be having quite powerful interactions in person in order for it to work. Can't say I am there yet, but I feel that if a girl engages with me and seems interested to talk, things rarely go bad. What I am not sure is how much of it is because she just likes me right away and how much because I do something well. Because it really feels like a huge number game of finding the girl that is excited enough to meet, and an even bigger one trying to find very attractive women that would be open for that.
Of course there is the later part of how to lead all these women to bed which needs work, that said I really believe not getting enough chances with them is an even bigger issue. Because yes I can be approaching all day, but if most of the girls I like are not very receptive at the open I can't do much. And I'm really not sure how to hook them more, I was looking at articles about it in the past but wasn't able to really put it into a reliable process. It feels pretty random: if they like your look and vibe you get a free pass to talk, if not you don't.
I was looking into some posts in the forums regarding online and people emphasised the importance of presenting an archetype. And although I do understand it, I never felt I was a particular archetype. For example I was a good student but never the big nerd that would read books all the time, or I was watching sports quite a bit but was far from the jock. So this is something I am really struggling with and I am not sure how to present myself. And I like different types of girls, I may absolutely love girls dressed in posh clothes from the rich areas of town, and at the same time also find alternative girls with unique hair colours and random tattoos extra cute. The problem is I don't fit either image so it ends up being difficult to be associated with either.
So I am just wondering what I should go for, I surely need to improve my style and presentation, but I am not sure if I should just do it in ways that I like and express myself, or really try to fit some particular stereotype, and if yes which one really? I kinda always felt unique, and didn't want to be put in boxes and be presented in a very specific way. Maybe that's why I'm also not doing well online, as I have one picture at some rocks with a backpack hiking, one picture acting on stage, and one with a suit dancing in a formal ball, which all represent the different aspects of myself, but surely don't create a clear image for the girls that swipe.
I've got to think of it. I guess the one thing that connects all these with me is the love of sex and exploring the female mind and body. And this is the one thing I've been saying that I should probably showcase more at the risk of losing girls that may consider me too sexual.
Not sure if this will really affect my approaches and results, but we'll see. I still did some today, can't remember all of them, as at this point I am simply going for it as I am living my life. I had one that was a bit longer as well today, I'll probably send a scheduler text tomorrow. Had some more that were fairly quicker, not that bad really, just the kind that you realise the time wasn't enough for the interaction to be solid.
And I am not saying that very short interactions can't be solid, they can, but when she is not that sure about you, and the meeting is extra quick she doesn't have enough motivation to respond. Maybe I should try to at least not feel rushed when I talk to them, because I think I naturally do it when there are tight time constraints.
The texting issue still holds. I mean I clearly don't have my mind in texting girls all day, so I may take time to respond, also because I don't want to be sending texts late when I am at home before sleep. Maybe I should prepare some of them from the previous day and send them at some point of the following without thinking. I'm struggling a lot to understand how someone busy would keep an interesting texting exchange going for long, and that's why I always vastly preferred Chase's model of minimal texting and quick invites out.
So I think I will just stay with that, calibrating to the situation a bit of course. Which means I should be having quite powerful interactions in person in order for it to work. Can't say I am there yet, but I feel that if a girl engages with me and seems interested to talk, things rarely go bad. What I am not sure is how much of it is because she just likes me right away and how much because I do something well. Because it really feels like a huge number game of finding the girl that is excited enough to meet, and an even bigger one trying to find very attractive women that would be open for that.
Of course there is the later part of how to lead all these women to bed which needs work, that said I really believe not getting enough chances with them is an even bigger issue. Because yes I can be approaching all day, but if most of the girls I like are not very receptive at the open I can't do much. And I'm really not sure how to hook them more, I was looking at articles about it in the past but wasn't able to really put it into a reliable process. It feels pretty random: if they like your look and vibe you get a free pass to talk, if not you don't.
I was looking into some posts in the forums regarding online and people emphasised the importance of presenting an archetype. And although I do understand it, I never felt I was a particular archetype. For example I was a good student but never the big nerd that would read books all the time, or I was watching sports quite a bit but was far from the jock. So this is something I am really struggling with and I am not sure how to present myself. And I like different types of girls, I may absolutely love girls dressed in posh clothes from the rich areas of town, and at the same time also find alternative girls with unique hair colours and random tattoos extra cute. The problem is I don't fit either image so it ends up being difficult to be associated with either.
So I am just wondering what I should go for, I surely need to improve my style and presentation, but I am not sure if I should just do it in ways that I like and express myself, or really try to fit some particular stereotype, and if yes which one really? I kinda always felt unique, and didn't want to be put in boxes and be presented in a very specific way. Maybe that's why I'm also not doing well online, as I have one picture at some rocks with a backpack hiking, one picture acting on stage, and one with a suit dancing in a formal ball, which all represent the different aspects of myself, but surely don't create a clear image for the girls that swipe.
I've got to think of it. I guess the one thing that connects all these with me is the love of sex and exploring the female mind and body. And this is the one thing I've been saying that I should probably showcase more at the risk of losing girls that may consider me too sexual.
- Joined
- Dec 8, 2017
- Messages
- 355
my advice is go for the hot girls not the "cute" ones
- Joined
- Jul 31, 2023
- Messages
- 359
I wanted to give approaching some more time today, so I walked around a bit after work before going home. Can't say I was in my best state, I got few numbers, but one-two were polite rejections basically, then one response I have not yet read starts with: I was flattered by your compliment and how you addressed me spontaneously but unfortunately..., another one hasn't even responded although I felt a good vibe in general, and I have one Brazilian mother who at least answered my icebreaker neutrally.
My point is I feel I am working hard to convince all these girls to first give a number, then come to a date, and eventually sleep with me in the date. It is tiring after a point, and it's not even that my good days lead into results. I may have better reactions, some more solid numbers, but then from there to bed it feels like from here to the Sun.
Then I came back home and spent about an hour reading and responding to texts. Sending some simple icebreakers, checking how to answer responses to previous ones, continuing the conversation with few online matches of the last days, trying to revive dead conversations of one-two weeks back, and also texting a bit other friends that I had left on read for a while.
And the thing is it always feels like I have to keep pushing and pinging them and reigniting the conversation again or they simply forget me. And honestly as I said in the previous post here, I also forget them, I barely remembered earlier the girls that I tried to communicate with 10 days ago. They just stop being relevant and I focus on the newer ones. The problem is this always happens, and there is an abundance of amazing girls out there so I can easily not chase and move on, but after a while of replacing one lead with the other without getting anywhere, you start wondering where you are even dragging these girls to, one after the other.
Maybe I focus a lot on immediate results and I shouldn't. I mean I should practice thinking more about the long term process, and just accept that it needs a bunch of effort and time in to get somehow consistent. Maybe I also need to be more patient. I have this problem with numbers for sure, where I may write them off after not answering in some hours, and then they suddenly get back to me. And I also have it in the approach, where I sometimes go for the close fast, feeling they are in a hurry and to not waste time, and in dates as well if I propose to go back home and they reject it, I almost instantly accept it as a seduction that will probably go nowhere and subconsciously disengage from it.
And to close with something different, I surely understand now why many people get into relationships. The comfort of having someone waiting for you after a long day is quite something. Wouldn't say no to a girl being ready to treat me and have sex when I get home. That said the more I approach, the more I realise how similar they all are. Even the hotter ones, there are so many more exactly like the one you happened to meet today that I really find it difficult to decide to get exclusive with someone. They have to be an incredibly special choice for me to think of that, and right now I simply want to love all these beauties that I see everyday. Each one feels unique and I would enjoy my time being fully present with her, so I somehow have to find a way to show them that I truly mean that.
My point is I feel I am working hard to convince all these girls to first give a number, then come to a date, and eventually sleep with me in the date. It is tiring after a point, and it's not even that my good days lead into results. I may have better reactions, some more solid numbers, but then from there to bed it feels like from here to the Sun.
Then I came back home and spent about an hour reading and responding to texts. Sending some simple icebreakers, checking how to answer responses to previous ones, continuing the conversation with few online matches of the last days, trying to revive dead conversations of one-two weeks back, and also texting a bit other friends that I had left on read for a while.
And the thing is it always feels like I have to keep pushing and pinging them and reigniting the conversation again or they simply forget me. And honestly as I said in the previous post here, I also forget them, I barely remembered earlier the girls that I tried to communicate with 10 days ago. They just stop being relevant and I focus on the newer ones. The problem is this always happens, and there is an abundance of amazing girls out there so I can easily not chase and move on, but after a while of replacing one lead with the other without getting anywhere, you start wondering where you are even dragging these girls to, one after the other.
Maybe I focus a lot on immediate results and I shouldn't. I mean I should practice thinking more about the long term process, and just accept that it needs a bunch of effort and time in to get somehow consistent. Maybe I also need to be more patient. I have this problem with numbers for sure, where I may write them off after not answering in some hours, and then they suddenly get back to me. And I also have it in the approach, where I sometimes go for the close fast, feeling they are in a hurry and to not waste time, and in dates as well if I propose to go back home and they reject it, I almost instantly accept it as a seduction that will probably go nowhere and subconsciously disengage from it.
And to close with something different, I surely understand now why many people get into relationships. The comfort of having someone waiting for you after a long day is quite something. Wouldn't say no to a girl being ready to treat me and have sex when I get home. That said the more I approach, the more I realise how similar they all are. Even the hotter ones, there are so many more exactly like the one you happened to meet today that I really find it difficult to decide to get exclusive with someone. They have to be an incredibly special choice for me to think of that, and right now I simply want to love all these beauties that I see everyday. Each one feels unique and I would enjoy my time being fully present with her, so I somehow have to find a way to show them that I truly mean that.
- Joined
- Oct 21, 2023
- Messages
- 318
Yeah I get the part about feeling like you are always chasing when following up with leads. I have not reached that stage yet with cold approach but I remember feeling like this when doing online dating.
I am literally taking it one step at a time when it comes to cold approach. I have got a bunch of numbers from cold approach but I did not text many of them as I did not want to introduce a new factor to my development.
Lets say for example I would feel great after doing 10 approaches and getting 3 numbers. I would be riding a high. I need to lock in that feeling. If I text the girls and they all flake then I feel lousy. And now I begin to associate doing 10 approaches with a lousy feeling. So for now I want to just focus on patting myself on the back for doing the approaches. I can worry about the numbers later.
And I really do think this is a long term process and looking at it through a microscopic lens could discourage you and make you stop.
But having said that, I really don't know what your level is. You seem to be already getting many dates so you are doing better than most guys.
But just a wild guess, I feel maybe you are not enjoying the process. So this makes every approach that does not result in a number or every date that does not end in sex a failure. Then it becomes quite disheartening to continue.
So maybe the trick is to find ways to enjoy this whole journey.