D's Journal

[Dern]

September 23

Did 3 approaches today at campus.
Got one number. I don't think I'll get a response from her, but here's how the conversation went.

Me: "quick question"
She turns to look at me, I turn to look at her
Me: "are you single?"
Her: *smiles* "Yes"
Me: "Great, that means I can talk to you."
Her: "Haha...well, you can talk to me even if I wasn't single."
Me: "Good point."
Me: "Hey, stop for a second."
Her: "I can't, I really have to go meet a friend. Do you mind walking with me?"
Me: "Just stop for 2 minutes, that's all."
She complies
Me: "So it seems like you do really want to talk to me." *smiled* (sorta screwed up here, by trying to force a frame)
Her: *sort of puts on stupid face* "Well, you could've talked to me even if I wasn't single..."
Me: "So what do you do when you're not at school?"
Her: "Pfftt, work"
Me: "Ahh, so you're a busy bee."
Her: "You would be correct."
Me: "That's really great, I mean most people these days are so lazy, like I'll call my friend and he'll be like: 'yeah man, I'm just chilling at home watching tv'
Me: But you, I can tell your always out and about. When your friends call you, you're like: 'hey, I got school and then I got work, then I got to do this and this'
Her: "Haha, you're exactly right."
Me: "Hey, so what's your schedule looking like? We should grab a coffee sometime."
Her: "I have school, monday to thursday."
Me: "And you get off at 1230?"
Her: "Yep"
Me: "want to get coffee tomorrow at 12:30?"
Her: "Umm, I might get called into work tomorrow, so I won't know until later tonight."
Me: "Okay, why don't I just grab your number, and we can text each other later." *proceed to take out my phone before she responds*
Her: *gives me her number

 

[Dern]

Second approach. I went up to the girl and said the same thing as above to open. But after "quick question," she said: "I have a boyfriend." I just smiled slowly and walked away. Should've said: "I can still talk to you."

Third approach. I saw this girl take a step forward, then turned around, then turned around again and kept walking. I said: "you look lost"
Her: "Yeah, I was just going to go outside because it was sunny, but not its not sunny anymore, so I'm going back to the caf"
*here I should've light bantered and said something like: "Yeah, things come, and then they go" (sorta sexual too haha)
But she started walking away so I said: "Hey, come back here."
She looked at me weirdly and said: "why?"
Me: "Well, I just thought you were incredibllyyy cute. My names Darren."
She takes my hand and says: "I'm sorry but I have to go."
I'm still holding onto her hand at this point and I look her right into the eye and say: "No you don't, you need to stay here and talk with me" (hard push)
Her: "Sorry...but I'm really busy."
Me: "just two minutes, that's all I want."
She complies
Me: "So what do you do when you're not in school?"
Her: *She starts saying how shes a sorority manager and talks about school and blah blah blah*
Me: "Is this like a speed date or something?" *smile* (maybe screwed up here? not teasing a girl the right way - should've been like: "woah, slow down there girl, you're starting to confuse me already!")
Her: "Ummm, well you wanted to know what I did...."
Me: "i Know, I'm just teasing."
Me: "So you're the party kind of girl huh?"
Her: "No no no, I just organize it. I don't try that much."
Me: "Well, that's a great blend we have. I mean, you are able to balance a social life at one side of the spectrum, while also keeping busy with school and work." *illustrated this using my hands (I'm getting better at using hand gestures)
Her: "Yeah."
Tried to close. She said she was too busy, blah blah blah... "I really respect your confidence though!" Tried to persist, but I could tell she was being sincere. She said she didn't even have time for her own friends. Whatever...

 

[ProblemSolving]

First Approach:

Don't bother saying, "I can still talk to you" or "Great, I can talk to you". It makes it seem like you're asking for permission to talk to them when you say things like that. It doesn't matter how they respond, just keep plowing forward.

Great persistence in getting her to stop!


Second Approach:

It was rude of her to interrupt you with the premature bf line. Next time, don't back down and walk away.

You: Quick question...
Her: I have a boyfriend
You: Congratulations! What are you up to today?



Third Approach:

This is why fundamentals are so important. When you've got your fundamentals handled, you'll find a lot more girls give you a much warmer reception when you approach. In this case, where she was trying to brush you off after you complimented her, some teasing is justified! The speed dating line was good, except you back tracked with, "Just teasing". Don't apologize for taking a little air out of her tires after she tried to bail earlier when you complimented her.

 

[Dern]

September 24

Thanks for all the advice ProblemSolving, really appreciate it.

Did 5 approaches today.

1. Blonde girl

Me: "Are you single?"
Her: "No"
Me: "So, what brings you here today?" (should've said instead: "so what class are you headed to")
Her: "Umm...school?"
Me: "I know. But what class?"
Her: "Environmental studies".
Me: "Oh, so you must like chilling at the beach and long walks"
Her: "No..."
Me: "Ah... so you must like high speed racing then!"
Her: "Nope."
Me: "Wrong again!" (should've followed up with: 'Soooo what do you like?")
Tried to get her to stop but she kept walking.

2.

This isn't an approach but its just funny to note. I want to write this so I feel really bad about it

Was lining up at break to get a coffee and I am in line with a cute blonde/red haired girl in front of me.
"Now what a perfect time to use an indirect direct line" I thought.
But then all these thoughts ran through my head...
"I wonder if she's really all that cute though"
"What if someone in front of her overhears us?"
"My break is only 5 minutes..."
"Oh she's buying something now, guess I couldn't have talked to her anyways"

I read an article: it said you have to feel really really bad about yourself when you don't make the approach So I went back to class feeling very furious at myself, which is good

3. Blonde girl

Me: 'quick question"
Her: 'Me?"
She turns to look at me
Return her gaze, subtle smile for half a second
Me: "Are you single?"
Her: "No I'm not actually"
Me: "I'm Darren"
Her: "Lauren"

Me: "Lets take a seat here" *pointed*
Her: "I'm just going to study here"
Then we both sat down

This is a funny thing to note because we both sort of saw the seats at the same time and we both sorta said the above sentences almost at the same time. But, she said her phrase right after I had said mine. So I win at getting the investment

Me: "So what do you do when you're not in school?"
Her: "Just hang out with friends."

Then I asked her about school. She said she had six courses. (Was looking at bridge of her eyes)
Me: "Ahh... let me guess, criminal justice program?" (I looked away for a few seconds and then looked back at her and said this. But instead, I should've put my hand on my chin, slowly looked away with my eyes, then turned my head, then looked back at her slowly and sexually and said it)
Her: "Yeah! How'd you know?"
Me: 'Oh I just know some people in it" *maybe should've said: "oh ... I just know... But maybe that would be creepy lol.
Me: "So why criminal justice? Do you want to play good cop?"
Her: "No, I hate cops."
Her: "I like to help people"
Me: "Is that all?"
Her: "Yeah, I mean, I like being assertive but I don't like blood so I wouldn't be a cop or anything."
Me: "Hmm." (should've done this longer and did thinking facial expression)
Me: "That's a great blend we have. Imean, you like to take charge of things *sort of fist pump here lol* but at the same time, you don't like blood, so you have control as well" (I said something like this lol)
Her: "Yeah!"
Set a date for monday.
When I gave her phone to her she said: "What's your name? Damion?"
Me: 'No, it's Darren. What's yours again? Laura?"
Her: 'Lauren"
Me: "I know, I'm just teasing" (now I know I shouldn't have appologized lol)

I gave her my blackberry
She said: "Woah"
Me: "I know... blast to the past. I'm surprised we didn't meet in the olden days. We would've met at like an old school ice cream parlour"
Her: "I love ice cream" (said casually)
*I should've said something sexual like: "I know you dddooo"
But instead I used one of Chase's lines about the greaser and the schoolgirl lol.
Should've just been myself and not used his line.

Anyways I hope she responds. I feel the conversation could've been better, I could've talked, reacted slower and come up with a more natural sexual frame. I also was feeling a bit nervous after the opener, which is also something I need to also work on. Just part of being slow, in general. I've noticed that when I'm a conversation with a girl, everything else goes to shit. Because all I'm doing is focusing on the conversation and what to say next. And girls can sense these things. I just have to do everything slowly which I do when I'm alone. But when I get into the convo, I will notice that my walk is slow, I'm walking at her pace. My walk is just normal in general. My back is straight, which is good. But my walk is at her pace! And its not sexy! And it makes me think that I have to focus soley on posture when I'm with her INSTEAD of the words.

4. Blonde chick

Are you single?
No
Introductions (I think my hands were sweaty from been too anxious lol)
Light banter about school
Me: "What brings you here today?"
Her: "School, and you too?"
Me: "Yep. What class?"
Her: "Philosophy"
Me: "Ah... so you're a deep thinker"
Her: "Haha...yep! wbu?"
Me: Said I was doing arts, do you do anything artsy?
Her: "Yeah!"
Me: provided positive feedback: "you like to express your emotions, nowadays people are too nonexpressive, but you, I can tell you *do painting action*"
Her: "Haha yeah!"

Deep dove about the arts she likes. But instead I should've asked how she got into painting because she was telling me about styles of art that I had no idea about hahaha"

She said she liked looking at it more than doing it
I said: "Yeah, only in the summer would you be *painting action*"
Tried to close but to no avail.

5. Brunette

Opened her from behind because she already saw me. Light banter. Tried to get her to stop.
"no she said, that would be weird".

 

[Dern]

September 25

Did 12 approaches today. Got some good conversations out of them, so I am happy.

1. Brunette girl

Looked at this girl who was about to walk past me
She walked past me and so I turned around, went up beside her and said: "quick question?"
She looked at me and smiled, so at this point, I knew that she knew that I was gonna hit on her.
So I decided not to ask her if she was single.
Instead I said: "I mean...I just saw you walking here, and I thought to myself *put hand on chin, slowly look away, then look back at her* wow, what a pretty girl!"
Introductions
Light banter about the book she was holding
Then progressed into talking about art, since she said art was her hobby.
I did a cold read, saying its great how she's so expressive, since a lot of people these days are closed off and to themselves.
She said that's not why she likes art. (So wrong cold read)
So I asked her why she likes it.
She said: "it just has a way of speaking to me"
Said something about her being more of an emotions person, rather than a verbal person.
She said a bit of both. (Ouch, I was half wrong lol)
So I said: "ah... variety is always good"
Tried to close
But I'm a full time nanny she said.
I'm a full time student, i replied, but i'm sure we could find 30 or 40 minutes sometime to get together and talk
Took out my phone, "just add your number to my phone"
She said she doesn't have a phone right now, was gonna go repair it today or tomorrow (could tell she was being totally sincere)
So she gave me her full name instead and told me to add her on facebook.
Her: "You won't miss it, it's me lying on a rock"
Me: "Trying to seduce people, huh?" (Perfect, unforced chase frame yay!)
Her: *laughs* "Hahahaha, no!"
Me: "Don't worry, I don't judge! " (Trait of a sexual man... very gooood! Didn't have to force this one either).
*gave her nudge on upper arm
She laughs more, then we say bye.

 

[Humpert]

How do I get your gumption? You're an inspiration, Darren. Keep it up.

 

[Dern]

September 26

Did 12 approaches today. Nothing really came of them. Oh well

 

[Dern]

September 30

Did 3 weak approaches today.

 

[Dern]

October 1

Did 2 weak approaches today. Made me think about how needy I was.

1. Indian

Girl started talking to me in biology class, asking about the question that was up on the board. Sorta shrugged and said i didn't know.
We started talking, I made sure to bring the conversation outside of school, only using school as a way to light banter in between. Asked her if she ever went to India, since she was indian, and she said she went for a week once, but it was so hot you couldn't do anything. Then I sort of related back, saying thats what it was like sometimes in california. And she said she loved california, so we talked about that. Then class ended and she said: "nice meeting you" and was about to walk out, but I tried to close right there and then. She replied: "maybe, I'll see you next class".

So I dunno, I think I moved too quickly for a social context like that.

Should've just waited till the 3rd or 4th class, but she usually sits at the other side, so I sort of like lost abundance mentality right there and it made me look sort of needy.


2. Brunette

I walked through a door, saw a girl about to go through as well, so I held it open for her. She said, thanks. But before we went our seperate ways, I looked at her and said: "are you single?" I didn't do skeptical face, I just said it in a curious tone of voice. She said: "ummmmm, yeah I sort of am" and smiled. I said: "sooo... (thinking of what to say/brain cramp lol) I'm Darren." Lol.
Introductions.
Me: 'I mean, I just saw you and I thought to myself *put hand on chin and look away* hmmm, what a pretty girl." (shouldn't have done that, given her too much power? question caught her by surprise, so maybe shouldn't have relieved the tension?)
Her: "thanks"
Asked her what she was up to today.
Said she was going to class.
What class? I asked.
Geography, she said.
Me: "So you must have a great interest in the Earth"
Her: "A little bit."
Me: "Just a liiiittlee bit" *sarcastically*
Me: "So what do you aspire to be?" (shouldn't have asked this, guaging her response to my previous question)
Her: "Umm, I don't know, I'm from Victoria and I just sort of came here to go to school."
Me: "Ah...so you came here, and then you went on another adventure."
Her: "Yeah!"
Me: "Hey, so we should get a coffee sometime"
Her: "Yeah!"
Me: "Great, just add your number to my phone."

While she was adding her number to my phone, I made light banter about asking her about her dog. I think this is where I sort of screwed up, I should've just not said much and let her just enter her number. But I didn't want it to be like awkward silence and I wanted her to know that it wasn't a really big deal, thats why I light bantered. But I shouldn't have kept asking her questions about her dog, only asked like one or two.

Texted her but she hasn't responded back. Thought both approaches were pretty weak and made me look needy.

 

[ProblemSolving]

Hey D!

Those fast number closes usually result in flakes - it doesn't matter how sexy and smooth you were. If she has not invested much into the interaction, then it's simply not very valuable to her. You have to get her investing/working, then you can "reward" her by getting her number. Once she has put in some investment, the odds of meeting her again go way up. So what does getting investment look like? It's basically getting her to do little things for you. Here are some examples:

"Let's have a seat over here and chat for a few minutes".
"Tell me about your passion for volleyball".
"Stand up for a sec. I want to see how tall you are."
"Spin around...I want to have a better look at you."
"Stop for a sec. I want to talk to you."
"That's an interesting bracelet. Let me see."

If she's not going to comply with little demands like these, then good luck trying to get her out on a date. On the other hand, once she has jumped through a few of your hoops and won you over , you can reward her with something like, "Well Karla, you seem like a cool chick. We should grab a coffee sometime this week. What's your schedule like?" Now she excited to see you because she feels like she has "won" you, instead of the way most guys do it with their begger frame where the she doesn't have to put any work into the interaction.

Not only do you look sexy and dominant by making demands, but it's a great way to screen out girls who are just making polite conversation and screen in girls who are legitimately interested.

 

[Dern]

September 2

Did 1 approach today. Asked a girl if she was single. She said no and said she was going to be late for class and walked away.

Regarding investment, I always try to get investment, usually by asking a girl to stop for a sec or take a seat with me. I also like to deep dive, which gets a girl qualifying and is also investment. I've never thought of asking a girl to stand up and see how tall she is or asking her to spin around. If I asked her to stand up to see how tall she is, seems pretty random. It seems like I would have to talk about being tall or what not before transitioning to ask her that. Asking a girl to spin around, wow, that's quite an investment. Sorta sounds creepy in a way, but I should try before I judge. Thanks for the advice!

 

[ProblemSolving]

Haha yeah Dern, what you get her to do will be different depending on the situation. So the "spin around for me" is more applicable to night game after she has shown a bit of interest, and the "stand up for a sec" is better used if you make a comment about her heels she's wearing and are genuinely curious how tall she is. You have to use your brain to calibrate the investment you ask to your given situation. DO NOT just throw out it out there randomly.

So if I'm at the gym and talking to a girl, but my phone is in my locker, I'll say, "Follow me for sec", and start walking towards my locker. It works great because if she doesn't follow you, it actually looks like you just rejected her to outside observers! Zphix uses that one a lot in his field reports.

 

[Dern]

Thanks for making that more clear!

September 3

Did 3 approaches today.

1. Brunette

Spotted this girl walking through the hallway.
Me: "I like your jacket"
Her: "Thanks"
Me: "Its like the same as mine" *sort of raised my arm to show her my jacket better* (it was funny because our leather jackets were really similar)
Her: "Huh."
Me: "Yeah, what a coincidence huh?"
Her: "Yeah."
Me: "Hey stop for a second" * I stopped*
Her: "um, no." *kept walking

2. Brunette

Me: "Are you single?"
Her: "no"
Me: "I'm Darren" *shake her hand, get to know her name*

*it was really funny because at this point, this girl who texted me saying: "Hey I talked to my bf and he said if we're gonna go out for coffee, he'd like to come", walked by us and said: "Smooth one Darren" (said sarcastically lol)
This sort of took me by surprise haha, I think it made me look weak too because I turned to the girl I was talking to, smiled and said: "Yeah, she's a really good friend of mine." (hahaha even though i knew this wasn't true at all)
I don't think this impressed the girl I was talking to, she definitely didn't seem impressed. I think I should've looked at the girl who said that to me and put on skeptical face and said: "Hmm, seems like someones having a bad day?" But instead, I said something that made me look socially weak (like I care what that girl says)

Me: "Hey stop for a second."
She stopped. (here I should've leaned against the wall, but I don't think about that shit, I get too into what to say next and this affects me negatively)
Me: "So what do you do when you're not at school?" (shouldve added: 'to keep your life from getting too stale')
Her: "Work. I have two jobs."
Me: "So, you're a busy bee huh."
Her: "Yep"
Then I provided feedback, tried to be warm, telling her that people nowadays are so lazy but I can tell she's different and always on the run and that that was really great blah blah blah."
Her: "Thanks!"
Tried to close (even though I know I shouldn't close that early! But I was getting nervous and scared of running out of things to say, I should've deep dived about work, saying something like: where do you work? can't imagine yourself doing that forever huh?)
Obviously, she said no, said she had a bf blah blah blah.


Goals for tomorrow:

Sexy walk
Instead of thinking of what to say during convo, just think about standing straight and giving eye contact to bridge of nose.

 

[Dern]

September 4

Did 3 approaches so far today.

1. Brunette

Me: "Quick question."
Her: "huh?"
Me: "I was just wondering.... are you single?"
Her: *laughs* "No."
Introductions
Me: "Is that hot water you got there?"
Her: 'No, tea." *moved a few meters away to get a stir stick or something."
(should've said something like: "you gotta. its the only way us humans can survive in the morning. Hey, I'm going to go sit down over there and drink my coffee, you're welcome to join me."
But instead, I interepreted her walking away as a sign of disinterest so I just left, feeling pretty bad about myself.

2. Brunette in my class

She's sitting outside our class, which is about to start.
So I sit down beside her.
Her: "Its so cold in there."
*light bantered about how cold it was in the class*
Then I sort of just abruptly asked: "So, what do you do when you're not in school to keep your life from getting too stale?"
She sorta laughed (probs cuz the transition wasn't that good, and it made it obvious that I was hitting on her).
Her: "I work, and do volunteering, wbu?"
Me: "I volunteer too"
Her: "Where?"
Me: "oh just for this magazine called sad mag, wbu?"
She told me about how she volunteers as like a child carer or something, taking care of one child.
Me: "Oh thats cool, little one huh?" *used my hands to show 'little'
Her: 'Haha not that little, but younger than me."
Me: "thats cool. you must really get attached to her then."
Her: "yeah haha"
Me: "Most people volunteer to get experience in the field. Why did you start?"
Her: 'Well, I just did it for self interest in the beginning, but now I do it mainly for the hours."
Me: "Haha, I like how you're straight to the point. You don't really care that much about the child, you just want the hours" (this is where I made a big mistake, it was a totally bad feedback, I don't know what I was thinking, especially since she agreed that she had gotten attached to the child, fuck im a retard lol)
Her: "no...I like the child too, like I said, I started it as self-interest, but now it counts towards my hours as well."
Anyways, we went into the class, and I moved my bag so I could sit next to her. (second mistake. shows neediness)

One good thing I did during this conversation was let silences sink in for a few seconds. When there was nothing to do except to ask another a question, I waited a few seconds before asking it to see if she would re-initiate, and a couple times she did. Shows calmness, control of conversation, so at least one good point for me.

3. Brunette

Was waiting at the street corner for light to change.
So i go up to her from the side.
Me: "quick question"
Me: "are you single?"
Her: "No."
Introductions
Her: "wow your hand is cold."
Me: "I know, its cold outside." (should've said: thanks for warming me up "
light banter about weather
light banter about what class she just finished, found out shes in the nursing program taking a whooping 7 courses.
Me: "so what do you do in your spare time to keep your life from getting too stale?"
Her: "just study, really."
Me: "ahh, so you're a busy bee. Provide positive feedback about how i respect that shes busy, ppl nowadays are so lazy, but i can tell shes different, blah blah blah."
Her: "thanks, I was scared you wouldn't" (respect that)
I guess she meant to say implicitly: thanks i was scared you wouldn't (now since you know i'm busy and you respect that, you shouldn't ask me out)
Me: "so do you do anything creative in your spare time as a break from studying?"
Her: "no not really this semester."
Me: "it sounds like last semesters, you did."
Her: "this sounds like an interview, I just finished a group project and that was an interview." (this was a shit test I think)
I forgot how I responded but she sort of walked away so I know I didn't respond well.

 

[Dern]

Just got home from downtown.

Feeling pretty disappointed.

I pretty much talked to every HB I saw. But like all of them rejected me with a snap of their fingers.

I tried every sort of opener, did my best with the fundamentals that I had handled, but still, I don't know why, most women wouldn't even give me the chance to talk to them. It was so aggravating!

My day wasn't going well before, and I felt that my vibe was off, and girls could smell my nervousness. Today was just one of those days that I woke up with an extreme sense of anxiety. Nevertheless, I still went to school with 5 hours of sleep, and still, I went dt after that. So, even though I got rejected by every girl, I still had the determination and persistence, and for that, I deserve a pat on the shoulder. I'm always so hard on myself, I just need to calm down and take deep breaths. At least I'm still going out. I'm never going to give up. Never. Rejection is something to learn from. Its just sometimes, I don't know what I'm doing wrong! There's nothing wrong with my openers! Its just that my hair needs a new cut and I need to grow out my goatee and moustache and make sure its trimmed, instead of long and prickly (my moustache hairs are like long and wavy, while my chin hair is like growing in patches and like straight up).

 

[Dern]

List of articles to review:

1. All articles on troubleshooting your opener

2. All articles on conversation

3. Being a challenge to women and really turning them on

4. Meditating/visualizing

5. My own journal, to better reinforce and identify strengths and weaknesses


List of things to do:

1. Go on fashionbeans and look at the 1000 hair styles they have

2. Trim my moustache and goatee

3.Constantly be consciously thinking about posture and walk

4.Constantly be aiming for lots of investment - get her to stop and then ask to look at her bracelet or something

5. Always be trying to lock on - when approaching the girls on the street dt, I can lock in by leaning against a pole, or gesturing towards random seats scattered along the side-walks, or an even better idea would be to put my hand on the back of the girl and lead her aside to the side of the side-walk, meaning the side of a venue or a store, etc. Then i can lock in by leaning against the wall and I would've done kino as well. This one takes confidence but i know i can do it.

When approaching at school, I will do kino to lead girl towards wall away from crowd, or towards seats scattered everywhere. This is about pushing comfort zones, and getting used to more than just nudging girls, incidental touch, and shaking hands.

6. Keep working out at least 3 times a week


List of articles to read:

1. Articles on night game, especially in bars

2. How to lift someone's spirits

3. Richard's article on vibe

 

[Dern]

October 6

Had such a fun day today hahaha!

So I was on a street corner dt, talking to a girl, when I look beside me and some guy is smiling at me. I instantly recognize him as the guy I always talk to at the gym. It's funny because whenever we talk, he always talks about how much pussy he gets - yes, one of those guys haha. Anyways, I look at him for a sec and his body language is saying something like: keep talking to her, don't look at me! So I keep talking to her like nothing happened, and try to close to no avail. After she leaves, he goes up to me and is like: "yo man! so glad we bumped into each other, no we can go game!" Hahahaha! It was the first time I was gaming with a wingman. We kept losing each other because he would see a hot girl, go talk to her, and then I would see a hot girl and then go talk to her. It was so funny lol.

1. Irish blonde babe

Me: "Are you single?"
Her: "No."
Introductions
Ask her what she's doing here today.
She says she's on break from work.
Deep dive about work - "do you like it?" "if you don't like it why are you still working?"
For the money she says.
So I provide some good feedback about how she doesn't beat around the bush with her emotions, she's straight to the point, doesn't sugar coat things.
Then I ask what she does in her spare time. Does she drink/party a lot?
She says she used to, but toned down a lot.
I related back to her saying something like: "yeah, I rather have a meaningful conversation with someone rather than trying to yell into their ear over some loud music"
Tried to close.
Her: "I don't think my boyfriend would like that, he's the jealous kind."
Me: "Well, are youuu the jealous kind?" *put on skeptical face, lean in a bit*
Her: "no..."
Me: "exactly, just enter your number into my phone."
So I got her number.

But i screwed up because a couple hours later, I saw her again (but didn't realize it was her)
Me: "Quick question" (was gonna ask if she was single)
She looked at me and then I looked at her and realized it was her again.
Me: "oh". *caught by surprise* "it's you again."
Her: "yep... just on break again"
*awkward silence*
Me: "Hows work going?"
Her: "Good"
Me: "but couldn't see yourself doing that for the rest of your life huh?"
Her: "Nope, thats why i'm taking business in school."
Me: "Cool, you must be really good at persuading people then."
Her: "Haha, not really."
Me: "I like how you're humble. 'Most people would be like, yeah I'm so good at selling things'".
Her: "haha yep. *pause* gotta go back to work now, see ya"

So I pretty much got "caught" gaming lol. Texted her an icebreaker text, but no response. Gonna delete her number if she doesn't respond to my next text.


2. Brunette sitting at bus stop

Me: "i like your style."
Her: "thanks."
Introductions, then take a seat beside her.
What are you up to?
She says shes going on a date.
Me: "oh, lucky guy" (mistake - putting her on a pedestal)
Ask her where she's from.
Says shes from Toronto, so I ask her why she's here.
For school she replies.
So I deep dive school, provide positive feedback. She already knows what she wants to do (help people with spinal cord injuries), so I related back to her ambitions, saying that I wanted to do something related to helping people too, preferable counselling (no lie, I don't lie).
I made her laugh at one point which was good, it brought the conversation up for air. I don't remember what exactly I said, but it was a joke about spinal cords.
She said she was doing a lot of volunteering and such to help her get where she wanted to get.
I said: "so if you're doing all this stuff, you must really be getting a taste of what the field is like, so what do you think so far?"
She replied and also added that that's what you gotta do (volunteeer/get involved) or else you would go through school, and not get far.
Me: "yep, and that's not for me."
We both laugh.
I get her number, she didn't even give any resistance. But she did mention she was leaving tomorrow for ten days. So I don't know. I feel that I should text her to build rapport so that when she gets back, she will still be willing to go out with me.

The rest of the approaches were all rejections. I did so many approaches today, I can't even count or remember exactly how many I did. But I had so much fun. My wingman was the funniest guy ever! He would go up to the ugliest girls and say: "solid style girl!" they would obviously then walk away to which he would yell: "Okay, just walk away, yeah you better walk away girl!" Hahahahaha. He said that he trolled ugly girls so that when he met hot girls, he could troll them just as well! I would go up to girls, start talking, then get rejected. Then he would go up to them after I walked away and troll them so hard!!!!! Hahahaha, today was so fun. At one point, we went into Victoria's secret to mack on chicks. Lol can you believe this? Like wtf, I would never into a girls store to hit on chicks, but after today, maybe my point of view has changed. My wingman at one point, said to some lgs: *pointing to bras* "which one do you think would look best on me?" They told him which one, to which he then tried putting it on. "See this guys, this is how you take off a bra," he said. Hahahaha! so funny! Then one of the workers told us that she had a feeling we weren't here to shop. My wingman trolled her so hard! Saying that we were here to shop for our cousins. It almost worked, if it wasn't for me smiling the whole time hahahaha! He got sort of mad at me after we left the store because I couldn't contain myself hahahaha.

Examples of him trolling

Her: "i go to school"
Him: "oh my goooooddd! That's so interesting!!!!!!!!" *super sarcastically lol*

OR

*to girl walking away from him (rejection)*
Him: "Yeah! you better walk away!"

*to girl looking at a shirt*
Him: "Nice style girl"
Her: "thanks"
Him: "but you really shouldn't buy that shirt, it wouldn't look good on you"
Her: "really?"
Him: "Yeah, are you kidding? That would be horrendous!"
Her: "what!?"
Him: "hahaha, I'm just teasing girl, why you gotta be so self-conscious"

He said that you have to be sarcastic, because it paints you as a bad ass.
He claims this turns some girls off, but some girls will chase like hell when you do this. (when I first heard this, I thought he was teasing girls wrong, but I guess this works on some girls, since some girls are really stuck up where I live).

So I gotta try being more sarcastic and bad ass and not giving a shit what girls say/think.

 

[Dern]

October 8

Did 1 approach today.

Me: "are you single?"
Her: *smiles* "no"
Introduction
Get her to stop
Me: "So... *thinking of what to say* what are you up to today?"
Her: "Just going to the library to study"
Me: "ahh... *thinking of what to say* so you're the book...kinda girl" *pretend to read a book*
Her: *half hearted laugh* "well, i also have a class later"
Me: "oh, what class?"
Her: "english"
Me: "Hm, you must like literature a lot then"
Her: "No, i hate it. I just haaave to take it." (should've said something like: "so then what do you do in your spare time, to keep the boredom away?")
Me: 'I like how you're honest."
Her: "Haha"
Me: "most people would be like, 'i love english', but you're just like 'i hate it'
Me: "I can tell you're the kinda girl who doesn't beat around the bush with her emotions, i can respect that"
Her: "haha, yeah. Hey, i gotta go now, it was nice meeting you."

Lessons learned and notes on better conversation:

1. I have to learn to light banter and transition into deep diving smoothly. Like after introductions say something like:

At school:

"so what are you up to today?"

"what class are you heading to?"

"what are you reading?"

If she says something about a class, provide feedback by saying oh you must be an artistic person then (example), if she says no, I just have to take it (or something like that meaning she doesn't like it) then ask her: "then what do you like to do in your spare time, to keep the boredom away?" If she says yes, then deep dive about the arts she does.

Said anywhere:
"so what brings you here today, and not somewhere more interesting?"

"so tell me, vancouver native? or from somewhere far away?"

"i notice you have an accent."

tease her about something, for example: "I can see you robbed the store (to girl with shopping bags) *the after her response say: 'dont worry, i wont tell...'"
OR
"don't you think its a bit cold to be wearing flip flops?" OR "pre-touch girl with headphones in, when she looks at you, you signal to take them out and then say: 'woah girl, your gonna blow out your eardrums', if she reponds negatively, reply: "okay fine, suit yourself" *said with a smile*

"where are you headed on this beautiful afternoon?" (said when it is raining)
"where are you headed on this rainy day?" (said while sunny out)

Deep dive about whatever she's going to do.
However, if she says something not interesting like shopping, going to her friends house, or home, then say something like: "ohhhh myyyy goooooddd! thats so exciting!" (be really sarcastic, teasing)
Then deep dive or ask her what she does in her spare time. Sarcasm makes the conversation not feel like the same scripted, usual stuff and girls don't usually expect this. Paints you as badass, devil-may-care kinda guy."

2. I have to learn to provide better positive feedback. I was thinking about it, and like all my feedbacks and conversations sound so similar, like so scripted. I have to have a more natural approach to my conversations.

3. If she doesn't respond well to your "what do you do in your spare time" question, then screen and qualify her. Or give bored look.

For example:

"do you cook?"

"do you like to exercise?"

" what are your future ambitions?" (any job in the world question)

"do you like to travel?"

"are you a long term planner or more of a spontaneous person?"

"ever go on any crazy adventures?"

"do you have any siblings? how close are you to your family? what was your childhood like?"

"what do you think of me so far?" AND "Is that good?"

 

[Dern]

October 9

Did 5 approaches today. Got 2 numbers

Girl 1:

Me: "are you single?"
Her: *laughs* "yes"
Introductions
Me: "so what are you up to today?"
Her: "was just going to go to class early to study"
Me: "aaah.... so you're a bookworm."
Her: "haha, yeah"
Me: "so what do you do in your spare time to keep the boredom away?"
Her: "nothing really, I just study and watch tv now. It's been so crazy, I've been like a hermit these past couple of weeks."
I related back to her so she didn't feel like she was a nerd. Also good light banter to start off the conversation.
Me: "do you do anything creative to take a break from studying?"
Her: "i don't do anything creative...but I do go to shows."
Me: "thats cool. music shows?"
Her: "yeah, have you heard of shambahla?"
Me: "of course!"
Started talking about shambahla. I related back to her, telling her I went to a bass nectar concert blah blah blah.
Then we went deep into the conversation. She was telling me about Nelson, the town shes from and how Shambhala is like the party time of the year. And how there's nothing to do except to party, and at this time of the year, its crazy because there's like 3 bars and everyone's there or on the street blah blah blah. She told me how people think Shambahla is for all the druggies, but in reality, people there look at you like they've known you for years.
I related back to her saying that thats awesome because everyone here seems so cold and distant.
Her: "yeah! they like judge you straight away and shit."
So convos going good so far. Got the non-judgemental frame set up
Me: "thats a great blend we have, I mean, we can have fun some of the time, but at the same time, be here. *pointing to ground* ( = school)
Then I don't know how, but there was a point that was PERFECT were transitioning deeper into the conversation. She said something and it was perfect for me to respond by asking her how her childhood was. I think she said something like: "well, people didn't always thing I was going to be here."
Her: "woah, deep, it sounds like your a counsellor or something."
Me: i give her a skeptical face, lean back sarcastically lol
Her: "what!? you asked me." (haha i guess it would've been better for me to say: what? you said you like it when it seems like people have known you for years.")
Me: "you know I'm not gonna judge" *lean over, give her a nudge on upper arm, was a bit awkward due to proximity*
Her: laughs
She said she was a troubled child.
Me: wow, got me thinking about trouble already." (PERFECT CHASE FRAME AW YEAH)
Her: laughs
Me: "why was it so troubling?"
Her: "well...single mom, blah blah blah. I could tell you more, but that would be too deep" (damnit! I wish I made her comfortable enough to tell me)
Her: "but yeah, people never thought I would be able to make it here. sort of offending..."
Me: "well thats the wonderful thing about life. We go through hard times, but we learn from it, and it makes us stronger." (said something corny like this lol)
Her: "yeah, more people need to realize that."

Got her number! Yeah!


The second girl was a quick conversation, she had her hands full but I still managed to make light banter and make her laugh and get her number. She wouldn't sit down with me so I don't think I'm going to get a date from this girl. Oh well.

 

[Dern]

Good things about today's conversation:

Set up a non-judgemental, sexual frame - got her to say things like: "Yeah, people just need to loosen up sometimes, and enjoy...their freedom."

She mentioned a couple of times that her childhood was troubling, she was the "bad" one. I set up a nice chase frame one of the times she mentioned it. The second time she mentioned it again, I said hmmm, maybe I should stay away from you. She responded: "yeah, I'm a bad influence"

Balanced my attainability - after I related to her, she said: "you were a violent kid!" I replied: "I know, we're like complimentary to each other" *smile*
Bad things:

I felt that I could've related better when she turned the question around and asked me how my childhood was. I said: "hmmmm, (should've put my hand on chin and looked away for a few seconds here) if you call jumping and bouncing off the walls, trouble." (shouldn't have said this) "I mean, I remember that one time I was having a sword fight with my brother with you know, tree branches. And I hit him near the eye with my stick. He ended up having to go to the hospital."

Toned down my expressions - chuckled less