D's Journal

[ProblemSolving]

Re: STICKIED: D's Journal

Dern,

If people are ignoring your commands to stop, it's because you don't sound authoritative. Look at this video to see how people respond to authoritative voices.

http://youtu.be/VaAHN3aMRqk

You obviously don't have to go this extreme, but you get the idea. Combine the authoritative voice with a sexy smile, so the girls being stopped don't think they're about to be robbed

 

[Dern]

Re: STICKIED: D's Journal

Hey ProblemSolving thanks for the advice, but one question: doesn't your advice contradict what chase says on his commanding women article? You say to use an authoritative, loud, firm voice but chase uses a soft, charming voice, ending the command almost like a question. I tried following chase's advice yesterday (november 18 - 17 approaches) but only got a couple women to stop. Maybe it's my soft, natural sounding feminine voice. Anyways, i will be experimenting with your advice (definitely yours since i already have a high pitched voice, and because the guy in the video who couldn't get anyone to stop sounded a lot like me) and chase's over the next upcoming weeks but i do want to hear your thoughts on this.

 

[ProblemSolving]

Re: STICKIED: D's Journal

The amount of energy you put into the command depends on the context. If I were to command a girl to come home with me, I'd use a charming tone like, "Well it's too early to end the night, lets go back to my place and watch some Walking Dead." Not much energy needed here.

On the street during the day, people are on autopilot going about their business; the last thing on their mind is being approached by a sexy stranger. Notice in the video, everyone completely ignored him when he commanded them weakly with little intent. In fact, some people even mocked him. Then once he put more energy into his commands, he starts knocking everyone out of their autopilot and some people even complimented him for it. I guarantee you, if he would have smiled after telling them, "GET OUT OF MY BOX", everyone of them would have smiled back.

It can't be, "Please stop for a sec?" It sounds like you don't even expect them to stop, so of course they won't.

When you say, "Hey, stop for a sec", you have to say it like you fully expect them to stop.

Practice saying your opener in the mirror with plenty of eye contact, a smirk, and ask yourself, "Would I stop for this guy if he told me to?"

 

[The Tool]

Re: STICKIED: D's Journal

Hey Dern. Finally Glanced at your Journel. I really like what I see man. FINALLY SOMEONE OTHER THAN MYSELF WHO HAS HAD SUCCESS AND LIKES USING THE "hey. quick question. Are you single?" Very refreashing friend.

Anyway

I said this and she said: "trouble? I didn't get into any trouble today."

If you get a response like this the best response I have found is to say (sarcastically) "mmhmm a Likely story" (with a sexy smile) then continue on with your normal interaction. (Note) you normally will not get a response like this though is she percieves you are being sarcastic and playful when you said it. But just in case. this is in your arsenol for ya. (I've noticed Ozz is having quite a bit of success with it.)

Glad to see more people taking some of my advice and things to heart. Quick question myself. I remember you commented on my :college Game: post. Have you had any success or take aways with tactics from it?

 

[ProblemSolving]

Re: STICKIED: D's Journal

Dern!

Check your PM box player

 

[Dern]

Re: STICKIED: D's Journal

Glad to see more people taking some of my advice and things to heart. Quick question myself. I remember you commented on my :college Game: post. Have you had any success or take aways with tactics from it?

Hey T! Thanks for the comment man.

In response to your question: no, haven't had much success in college, or in game at all. I think this is mainly because not all my fundamentals are down pat. I'm at a sticking point right now where I am getting at least one number a week, but they are never turning into dates. I know its just a matter of improving my fundamentals and refining my skills, but sometimes, I just wish I could be improving faster (it's been 5 months since I've started this journal and started practising seriously, but I've only been on one date since them)! My wingman says that I need to build rapport over text since she's only known you for maybe, like, ten minutes. But, I think it is more a matter of my fundamentals and approach in general. Another sticking point is that, 90% of the time, girls aren't investing after I say my opener. Most of them don't stop, and if they do, it's only for a short amount of time. I'm planning to use ProblemSolving's advice this upcoming week. I'v re-read your college game article T, and although I like the techniques, they are based on having good fundamentals, and that is something that is currently in the works for me.

November 22

Met up with my wingman Friday night! We went to a neighbourhood bar, which was pretty bumpin. We met some girls and I started talking to this one girl. Really early on during the interaction (and I think this was a mistake for moving too fast?), I tapped my ears and said: "I can't really hear you, let's go sit alone somewhere". She replied: "alone?" I said: "not alone, with me" *putting both palms against chest* Her:"no, I can't do that...I think we both know what that means." I responded in a sarcastic tone of voice and tilting me head: "what? you'll have to remind me again." She then said: "you know..." I said: "I bet if you asked everyone here, why they were here tonight, they would all give you a different response." I don't remember how she responded to this, but I then said: "okay how about this, we meet up alone anoother time." She said: "another time? ok." Me: "great, just enter your number into my phone." She entered her number on my phone and her friend beside saw, which meant social pressure. I noticed her number wasn't the local area code, so I used this to start light banter and ask her where she was from. I then tapped my ear once again, told her I couldn't hear her, and patted the seat beside me." She complied. This way, she could still be within radius with her friends. I went deep into the conversation, asking her about her real dreams and passions. She was telling me how she wanted to be a lawyer, but her parents wanted her to go into business instead, and saying that lawyers were crooked. So, she was doing business at the moment. I then asked her why doesn't she rebel, and follow her true passions instead. She responded by saying how bad she was in high school, and how much she disappointed them back then, and how she wanted to make up for that by getting her degree in business. I said that that was adorable. She said: "no, that's not adorable, that's _____" (it was a big word, and I didn't know the meaning of it"). I did my best to relate and be encouraging / empowering, while simultaneously digging at the roots. About halfway through the conversation, when it started getting real deep, I placed my hand on her lap, and was getting all close to her, like I could've kissed her, but didn't. I was casually pushing forward and pulling back physically.

The bartender then made an announcement that the place was overcapacity, and that some people would have to leave. My buddy went up to me and said that this other bar was bumpin, and so I got to drive the girl I was talking to and her friend to this bar, while my friend got a ride from this other guy. Throughout the short car ride, I was light bantering about what kind of music they like, and about travelling and stuff. I did make a mistake though: early on, one of the girls states that there is no need for me to be talking so creepily (I guess I was trying too hard to talk slowly, smoothly and sexually). When we got there, we found out the bar had a 12$ cover fee, and bouncers at the front door, meaning the girls we were with couldn't even get in (because they were one year underage). So they said that there was this house party, and I said where? and they told me to go back to their friends at the shack to find out. So we went back. When we got there, there was chatter over the location of the party and whatnot. Then some guys in the group tells us that we're not invited (probably because they were scared that we would get the chicks! hahaha!)

So me and my buddy left and decided to go dt and do some night-time street game. We were bar hopping and walking around for a while, meeting lots of new people and chatting up lots of women. Near the end of the night, when we're about to call it quits, we meet these two women that just left the club. We start talking with them, linking arms with them, and eventually manage to move them into a poutine place. Chatted more, then their boyfriends came to pick them up. Oh well, I wasn't that into them at all in the first place, but my friend was.

This night has made me realize how much more awesome day game is. The girls in the day time are just so much more high quality! Physically and intellectually! I wouldn't really want to associate myself with a girl whose lifestyle was to get drunk all the time. I just can't relate to that. When the sun is out and shining, there are a lot more girls who are walking around alone, meaning less social pressure. Plus, they don't expect to be approached. The good thing about this is, that there's no competition, and no sleezy guys hitting on her constantly. However, it is harder to build that sexual atmosphere.

 

[Dern]

Re: STICKIED: D's Journal

November 25

Did 3 approaches today.

Girl #3:

I was waiting for the canada line. Then something unusual happened: the pa announcement said something about making sure not to jump onto the railroad tracks. This was slightly humorous because this never happens. I looked over to my side, and saw this cute blonde that was looking confused as well. I related to her nonverbally, putting on a skeptical sort of face. At this moment, we both sort of laughed and walked towards each other. I'm only going to write snippets of our interaction:
Her: "did you hear that?"
Me: "yeah, wtf?"
Her: "do they mean for that side... or our side?"
Me: *i don't know shrug*
Me: "I like your earings" (should've added something like: "they make you easier to spot" OR "they really make you shine").
Her: "thanks".
Me: "you must really like crystals"
Her: "haha, sort of... I actually got them from a jewelery store that I work at"
So we start light bantering sarcastically about how she likes all the jewelry and ideas of her stealing them and such and such. She was sort of telling me non-verbally and verbally that she just stayed at over at a friend's house and wasn't in the "physical state" to sort of talk. So conversation is going good so far, light bantering was great. She voluntarily shows me her ring, and I take a hold of a finger and examine it.
Then the canada line comes and I quickly walk ahead.
Introductions.
Me: "But, I bet you can't imagine yourself working there forever?"
So she starts telling me about how she took 2 years off to work and decide what to do, then she finally decided that she wanted to help people with 2 types of diseases. I didn't understand what she was talking about, so I did a quick thoughtful look and asked her to explain further. I was too into the convo now to really take in fully what she said lol.
Me: "So you must be a really helpful person then"
Her: "Haha, sort of. I actually had one of the diseases when I was a child."
Me: "ohh, *another quick thoughtful look, should do them slower* so you must really be able to relate to them."
Her: "yeah"
I number grabbed here, which was sort of bad I think because we were at a deep part, but sort of good too because she was telling me lots about herself.
I made a choice here to go an extra stop, because I didn't want to number grab and then leave. Turns out its her stop too.
Me: "I'm gonna take the 99."
Her: "oh, me too"
Then she asks me about what I want to do and deep dives it.
I tell her how I went into school right after high school (different from her) because I didn't know what to do (same as her), then I took some classes and found out that I really liked psychology. So I wanted to be a counselor and help people because we are so privileged compared to others blah blah fucking blah. Wish I could sound more sincere and less corny when I say this in real life hahaha. Gotta really practice having a firmer voice + plus eye contact when I say these deep phrases.
*awkward silence, (there were quite a few awkward silences throughout the convo)*
Her: "I think that's really cool...how we sort of like want to be in the same field." (sign of interest?)
Me: *just sort of lightly smiled here and looked straight ahead*
Me: "Yeah I really like psychology and the brain and blah blah blah."
She agreed with me.
Then I said something about how mind-reading would be the best superpower. She disagreed with me here. I should've been the listener and not the talker here. So I asked her what her superpower would be. She gave it some thought, then said teleporting. "Cause you don't have to go through airports, I asked?" "And its free to go on vacation," she said.
The bus was on its way, and when it got close, she sort of ran a bit to catch up, but I stayed calm and slow, with a straight back, because I knew a lot of people would be getting on and off. Although, I need to really work on my rocking shoulders and swaying arms and wide footstep when I am in conversation lol.
Got a seat on the bus next to each other, me leading again.
The bus ride was sort of awkward I admit, it sort of had a bit of boring + awkward vibe to it, although I did manage to tease her and make her laugh from some sarcastic remarks I said, maybe even teased her at one point too much because she was telling me how she sometimes would stay out for 2, 3 days...
Found out she lived all the way out in New West. She moved there recently and I asked her why.
Her: "too poor." (said sort of embarrassed)
Me: "and that's nothing to be embarrassed about. Especially in this city, it takes a big price to live here."
She agreed with me, said she didn't want to work 5-6 days a week and slave away.
I agreed. Said that "if you look around you, everyone seems so down. I want to be far away from these sort of people" (maybe judgmental?)
She was telling me about how she partied too much in grade 10 blah blah blah, when I asked what high school she went to. She said she went to many different schools. I replied: "ahh...the variety kind of girl " Could've said, "ahhh... so you went on many adventures
Me: "That's the thing about life though, you learn from your mistakes" (corny much? lol)
Her: "yeah, well... I don't really see those moments as bad though."
Me: "oh, definitely not, there were some fun times.. I know what you mean. "
Me: "maybe tooo much fun" (over did it here I think)
I tried to relate to her on partying in high school about going to concerts and such.
Talked a lot about what music she likes, light banter about some weird instrument.
I definitely tried to hold too much of the bus ride conversation. I should've let the 2 or 3 awkward silences be awkward and give her 10, 15 seconds for her to re-initiate me, instead of caving in first to the social pressures. Also, i feel that I tried too hard to relate to her in some aspects. Felt a bit, fake?
Complimented her music taste before I got off the bus, because she liked old school 90's hip hop. "You're a swell girl! It was nice meeting you. *handshake*

 

[Dern]

Re: STICKIED: D's Journal

I asked her out for hot coffee.

She texted back an hour later:

Damn you're so sweet and rad. I'd love to get to know you and hot chocolate is the most perfectest thing i dont drink caffeine so i always have to be like tea or water haha. You seem great the only thing is I just recently became manogomous with this guy i had sort of been seeing.

After 30 minutes, i still hadnt responded so she added:

So that's a problem.

How do i respond?

Im thinking:

Who told you i was looking for a girlfriend?

Would it still be a problem if i told you that im not looking for a relationship right now?

Would it still be a problem, if i told you that i am good at keeping secrets?

 

[determined]

Re: STICKIED: D's Journal

Hey Dern,

You've probably already responded to her, but here's my opinion (which probably isn't worth shit). I wouldn't say any of those things. They're a) reactive, and b) playerish and gamey. Chasing. Might put her on the defensive and make her wary to see you again. I would just be chill, "No problem, meet at 8 o'clock then?" You're a stud, nothing fazes you, and you genuinely like her and want to spend time with her. Much more likely to get her out, then when you meet up you can turn on the sexiness. Maybe even drop the "No problem" part, don't even acknowledge that she mentioned a boyfriend or that she was insecure about you not answering quickly enough.

Now she won't be 100% sure of your intentions because you've never stated them verbally, although nonverbally you should definitely be sexual with her. She'll be curious, but comfortable around you since you haven't been aggressive, and maybe even hope that you make a move since you're outcome independent and that's a turn on.

 

[Dern]

Re: STICKIED: D's Journal

Wished I saw your advice earlier determined! Girl said she would get back to me about her schedule, but never did! Oh well!

Goals for this week:

Continue having sexy walk
Hold good posture 24/7
Speak slow
Employ more head tilts and sexy and cute under look

December 4

Did 1 approach today. Girl was sitting down, and so I opened directly. Asked to take a seat, and made her move her bag so I could take the seat closest to her.
Introductions. Could tell right away that this girl was in a cheerful mood. She hooked immediately, without me having to even try.
Started off with some light banter about finals and what we were studying, and damn, this girl was asking me a lot of questions. At one point, I had to say something like: "wow, you ask a lot of questions!" (should've said something like: "you're killing me with all these questions!" instead)
She was like: "yeah, I'm really social as you can tell, and blah blah blah, she kept talking about school and shit lol. It was hard to turn stuff back on her, but I did my best, and she was telling me a lot about herself regarding school and how she always has a positive outlook on life, why she finds recreation class so interesting (deep diving is the shit), so I might as well answer her questions, so that the conversation is reciprocal (although it did make me less a man of mystery - i tried my best to make my answers short, so that we couldn't talk much about it and it would be easier to turn it back on her).
Did a lot of head tilts and sexy and cute under look throughout the convo (cause I really want to add the non-verbal part to my interactions)
5 - 7 minutes into the conversation, I was like in my head: it's time to close! There's no way I'm not getting her number!
Me: "I'm really glad I met you today."
Her: "me too" *holds out her hand to shake my hand*
Me: "You seem like a really optimistic girl...*look away for a second* and it's like a breath of refreshment to meet you..."
Me: "I feel we could really feed off one another" *illustrating this with my hands* "let's get a coffee sometime."
Her: "I actually have a boyfriend."
Me: "And who said I was looking for a girlfriend?" *wink and small smile* (I got this from Chase, but from what determined said, I think I'd have to agree that this line really seems too gamey. I think what would be better to say in this situation is: "whatever, just add your # to my phone" OR "so what's your schedule looking like?)
Her: "well.... you came up to me and said I was gorgeous..."
Me: "whatever... (should've said instead: "and you are" and then held eye contact) just add your number to my phone, and we'll talk more sometime..." - I think this is where I screwed up, by saying "whatever", like she wasn't gorgeous.
She entered her number into my phone anyways (woohoo! streak of getting at least one number a week is still intact lol).
She saw that I had a blackberry and related to me. More light banter, this time about phones lol.
Her: "yeah, people always are like: 'you have a blackberry? get a new phone!'"
Me: "judgemental people!"
Her: "yeah! geez, like I want to get a laggy piece of shit iphone..."

Sent her an icebreaker text 30 minutes ago, and she hasn't responded. Fuck this is a brutal sticking point. Fundamentals are killing me. Two and a half months straight of getting numbers every week, but none of them are ever turning into dates! Good thing I got a hair appointment with a gay guy at a hair salon this week. I read somewhere on the boards that a gay hairstylist knows his shit. Also, I've been eating a lot more (bulking up!) and finals are almost over, so that means I'll have time to go on my walks downtown again lol.

 

[Dern]

Re: STICKIED: D's Journal

December 5

Went downtown today and did some mall game. Damn! There are lots of hot girls around Christmas time! I can feel my confidence rising after every approach, I just need to get my fundamentals down. Because it's not like my openings are awkward or anything, it's just that I know girls are rejecting me cause of how I look. I can tell after my opener, based on their tone of voice, words, and body language, that they simply aren't down to talk to me.

 

[Dern]

Re: STICKIED: D's Journal

December 6

Did some mall game today! Got three numbers, and one responded to my icebreaker text.

1.

This girl stopped me to talk about some donating for charity thing.
She was pretty cute, so I decided to talk to her for a bit.
We did some light bantering and such at first, (I think because she was trying to get me to donate).
Then she started talking about the charity that she worked for.
I had to stop her halfway and tell her that if she was asking for donations, I wouldn't be able to do that, but if she needed like a signature for a petition I could.
"Are you a student she asked me?"
"Yes," I replied. "How about you?"
So I started deep diving her about how she got to volunteering for this company.
she told me all this shit about the government and whatnot and I responded by saying how thoughtful she was and that she was also cute
Deep dived more more about school.
Then tried to number close.
She gave me boyfriend objection, but I said stuff like: "who said I was looking for a girlfriend? " and "I'm sure he doesn't have to know... " and "just add your number to my phone, and we'll talk more."
So she gave me her number and was like, "think about donating, you can always check our website blah blah blah"
I said: "maybe if we meet up for that coffee, and you have worked on your persuasion skills a bit " - sort of clunky, however, ambiguous chase frame
Her: "hahaha, maybe..."
Me: "well, that was certainly a breath of refreshment talking to you"
Her: "thanks"
Shake hands and I leave.

2.

Saw this girl walk past me, so I turned, caught up with her, and opened her from the side (although I should start cutting girls off to get their attention).
Direct opener.
Ask her what she's doing on this "horrendous" day (it was sunny outside lol).
She says she's meeting up with her sister who's getting off work.
Me: "aaaahhh... so you must be a family girl."
I provide her positive feedback.
She says she has to go now, but I tell her that 2 minutes won't kill her.
She complies.
Ask her about her life (should've asked specifically about her relationship with her sister and family instead).
Talked about her work.
Then number closed.

3.

Girl was sitting down on a chair facing the wall, so I couldn't really walk past her and "pretend" to notice her.
So I just sat down (1 chair divided us) and started playing with my phone.
After like 20 seconds, I opened indirectly with: "how's your work break going?"
She looks at me and smiles: "good"
Me: "aaaahhhh... so I was riiight, how did I know?" (sarcasm)
Her: "I have a name tag haha"
Me: "mmm... giving people hints" - good chase frame
Her: *laughs*
Me: "So, what's work?"
Her: *tells me*
Me: "hmm, so you must be a really fashionable *pause* and materialistic person"
Her: "yes! but not materialistic! sort of hard not to be haha"
Her: "why... are you materialistic?"
Me: "nooo!"
Her: *laughs*
Good light bantering so far. Next, I deep dive about work.
She tells me how she likes fashion because its a way of art that everyone expresses.
Me: "its like a hands on sort of art" (bad feedback here, was not what I meant to go for)
Her: "yeah, its something people are always expressing, because people are always wearing clothes"
Me: "not aalways" - sexual innuendo (smile, and raise my eyebrows)
Her: *laughs*
I try to close here.
Boyfriend objection.
I say the usual, and hand her my phone while saying: "just add your number to my phone... and we'll talk more"
So I get her number

Pros of today:

Getting better at handling women's objections.
Getting more women to stop because of ProblemSolving's advice. Now just need to always talk with a loud, assertive voice. I need to get used to doing this every time I meet a woman. I'm finding that women don't really want to take seats with me and stop for more than a few minutes to talk, which really sucks.
Talking more slowly and sexually, and having this do wonders.
Pretty sure my back is like permanently straight now. Now just need to focus on shoulders back and chest out.

 

[Dern]

Re: STICKIED: D's Journal

Goals for this week:

Maintain sexy walk (all the time!)
Maintain straight back (all the time!)
Nose wrinkle and slow spreading smile after direct opener
Speaking slowly and thus, sexually
Expressing commands with a loud, dominant, firm voice

 

[Dern]

Re: STICKIED: D's Journal

December 12

Mall game

December 13

Met up with ProblemSolving today! We wandered the mall, bookstores, cafes, and streets. Most of the time, he was just observing my approaches and helping me problem solve

Things learned:

When you are behind a girl who is walking, sort of lightly run up in front of her (but give her lots of space! so she doesn't feel like she's about to get robbed!) and then say something like: "hold up, *use your hands to gesture this* I just saw you walking here *pause + nose wrinkle + slow spreading smile* that you are aaabsolutely gorgeous."

What does this do?

Well, if you are directly in front of her, this forces her to stop. The only way she can get around you is if you move to the side (which you can't do, you have to remain firmly in front of her), or if she moves around you, which she will do if she's not into you.

Why is this better than side opening?

Side opening is ideal when the girl is standing still. But when the girl is out and about, she has a goal to achieve, thus, the last thing she is thinking about is getting approached. If you open from the side, it's less "up in her face" and follows the law of least effort more, but she is most likely to continue walking. So, getting in front of her (but remember, also give her a few feet of space to be comfortable), will signal in her brain to stop and pay attention to whoever is in front of her. This way, you don't have to ask her to stop, you are getting investment along with your opener (unless the girl walks around you, then you will have to say: "stop! we just started talking").

Talking slower --> deeper voice

Sets where the girl is sitting down are more promising than sets where the girl is walking somewhere. This is because when she is motionless, she can't just get up and walk away (well, she can, but this isn't likely unless you are a total creep!)

 

[Dern]

Re: STICKIED: D's Journal

December 20

Went out today to get some Christmas shopping done. Also, did a handful of approaches and received two numbers.

1.

Me: "quick question"
Her: *looks at me*
Me: "are you single?" *squint eyes*
Her: "no."
Introductions.
Light banter about why she's at the mall, Christmas shopping and stuff.
Tease her about the many bags she's carrying.
Deep dive about school.
Do the usual building up (oh, so you must be a pretty good persuader - because she's in business). She responds: "I guess... when I have to." I reply: "which must be a loottt of the time." Provide positive feedback about how she has her shit together. Knows what to do with her life while a lot of other people still don't know what they really want to do with theirs.
Her: *thinks about it* "that's true."
Number close.
She enters her number in my phone.
Light banter about what she does for currency.
Says she works at a make-up, cosmetics place.
Me: "ahh...so along with being good at business, you make girls prettier."
Her: "thanks!"
Me: "so what's your schedule look like?"
Her: "pretty busy"
Me: "cool, i'll just give you a text right now so you have my number, just make sure you don't text me 24/7"
Her: "haha, okay."
Her: "got it. Shall I text you?"
Me: "well.. that would break the rule." Should've said: "if you can't resist"
Her: "haha okay."
Make our farewells.

Sort of an awkward, tense vibe throughout this conversation.


2.

Sit beside a blonde girl on the bus. There were a lot of people on the bus, so it didn't break the law of least effort to approach her.

After 15 seconds...

Me: "going anywhere interesting?"
Her: "just homee, you?"
Me: "hooommeee"
We both smile.
Light banter about Christmas shopping and stuff. Tease her about: "are you sure you left enough things for everyone else?"
She mentions she's from the island but here because of her boyfriend going to school.
So we talk briefly about his goals, and then I use this to transition into what her dreams are.
She said she doesn't know.
Me: "me neither! I'm in like the same stage! Probably like vacation or something, right?"
Her: "hahah, exactly!"
At one point on the bus ride, two cheerful guys get on and sit in front of us and start light bantering with us. But we quickly get back to talking one on one.
I ask her if she could have absolutely any job, what it would be?
She responds: "everyone asks me that, but I really don't know!"
Me: "yeah, when I got out of high school, everyone asked me that as well... it would make me so angry!"
Her: "yeah!"
Me: "like, I just want to liveee!"
She agrees.
Pretty good vibe so far, and good frame set.
Number grabbed here on a high point, while she was laughing.
Then light bantered about what she did in her spare time: work.
Me: "so you must be a very fashionable person." (since she works in a clothing store)
Talked a bit about that, then she got off at her stop.

Better, more light, carefree conversation. Still feel a bit awkward in my interactions. I think more sexual innuendo and chase / sex frames would be beneficial.


Goals for the rest of December:

1. Maintain good posture all the time
2. Maintain sexy walk all the time
3. Eye contact
4. Slow spreading smile

 

[Dern]

Re: STICKIED: D's Journal

December 26

Did some boxing day game today! Here are the most memorable approaches:

1.

I read Chase's article on approaching girls while shopping. Figured I needed to go indirect direct in these places, and so that's what I did.
Me: "quick question"
Her: *turns to her side to look at me*
Me: *holding up a girl's clothing item - short, slutty shirt* "Do you think this would look good on me?" *smile*
Her: *smiles, and starts playing along lol* "ummmm... yeesss that would really compliment the colour of your eyes" (I really found this funny that she responded this way - I love a girl with a sarcastic sense of humour hahaha)
Me: "thanks!"
Her: "no problem!"
Me: "I was just kidding by the way... i thought you were cute and wanted to say hi"
Her: "oh hi."
Me: "i'm darren"
Introductions, take her hand and shake it till she lets go, all the meanwhile, staring into her eyes.
Me: "so, just shopping on your own hey?"
Her: *replies*
Me: "gotta look good for the guys after all "
Her: "yes, and doing a good job if I'm being approached! "
Me: *smile, and look away*
Me: "so, what do you do here in the city?"
Her: "oh I work at urban fair, wbu?"
Me: "*thoughtful look* "Oh... I just do a bit of writing, and a bit of reading here and there..."
Her: "cool."
Me: "you must be a very fashionable person... I mean working at a clothing store."
Her: "haha, I don't work at a clothing store, urban fair is a grocery store."
Me: "ohhh what?" I must be going crazy *does crazy sign with finger* (instead should've said something here along the lines of: "you must be making me lose my mind")
Me: "I must've been thinking about urban planet"
Her: "haha. yeah."
Me: "so you must be a health nut then."
Her: *agrees"
Me: "that's interesting... because you know what? They say that people who eat veggies and nuts all day have a sense of discipline. I'm guessing your like that?"
Her: "yes"
Me: "except some of the time... " *raise my eyebrows and close mouth smile* (I think a better response would be then: "so you must never have any fun then" OR "so you must be a goody two shoe then" - try to get her to prove me wrong lol)
Her: *laughs*
I tried to close here but she gives me the boyfriend objection.
I persist a couple of times, saying that it'll be our secret, giving her a nudge on the upper arm and such. But she declines, so I gratefully exit.

Good, light, sexual vibe in this conversation. I emitted the chill vibe, which is the kind of person I am (thus the kind of vibe I'm trying to master): relaxed and calm.


2.

Blonde girl walking down the street.
I jog up in a few feet in front of her, raise my hands and say: "hey, stop for a minute" *smile*
She stops, and takes off her earphones.
Me: *direct opener with nose wrinkle and slow spreading smile* - complimented her pants (they were blue leggings with stars on them) - "they look nice... and paint a really nice image to you..." (hahaha, totally fumbled this compliment, had no idea what I was going to say to her until I approached her)
Introductions - take her hand and hold it for a long time, staring into her eyes, till she lets go, but not before a sort of awkward smile lol. Sexual tension?
Ask her what she's up to and such.
She says she's going to her friend's apartment to drop off her stuff.
Me: "hmm. nice friend "
Ask her what she does in this city.
She says she's from Russia.
Me: "ahhhh, from Russia with lovee"
She doesn't get this, or doesn't really hear me, and so asks me again.
So I have to repeat it.
She sort of gets it now I guess, and fake laughs.
Me: "so what made you come all the way from Russia to here?" *points to the ground*
Her: "why I'm here?"
Me: "uh huh."
She starts talking about how she came here to get better at English and hopefully go to college.
Me: "oh cool, what do you want to study in college?"
Her: "interior design."
Me: "so you must like all these buildings around us." *points around*
Her: "no... not really..."
Me: "haha, you're like, 'the buildings in Russia are waaayyy nicer'"
Her: "yeah "
Me: "so why interior design, why not psychology? or fashion?"
Her: "why?"
Me: "yes."
Her: "because my mother is in it"
Me: "aaahhhh, following the family footsteps...smart girl "
Her: "yep."
Try to number close here.
She says she's leaving tomorrow to go back to Russia for a bit.
"No worries," I tell her, just add your number to my phone.
So we exchange numbers.
Me: "so you must be excited to be visiting your friends and family."
Her: *agrees*
Maybe should've deep dove about her family here but instead i said: "so what's the difference between Russia and here?" *point to ground*
Her: "everything."
Me: "everything, huh?"
Her: "yep."
Me: "I've never been to Russia before... I should go."
Her: "then go!"
Me: "alright let's go!" (should've taken her hand here and stated walking lol, but wasn't feeling the vibe... never done anything like this before actually... not sure how she would've responded... should've tried though now that I think about it)

Instead I walked away, and realized I should've pushed harder there. So I texted her an hour later: "Hey Kate, let's grab that coffee tonight before you go. Let me know how that sounds!"

No response.

Didn't seem like she was that into me anyways.

 

[Dern]

Re: STICKIED: D's Journal

December 27

Went downtown to practice some game today. Got one number, but the girl didn't seem to into the conversation. She was using a monotone voice to reply to my questions, and clearly wasn't interested. Probably gave me her number just so I would leave.

Notes on fundamentals:

I talked with a hair stylist, and we decided together, that the best thing to do to my hair is to let it grow. That way, the sides of my hair will grow enough to cover my monkey-looking ears. Then we will spike up my hair like a hedge-hog, giving me an edgy, sexy look. I will have to schedule another appointment in mid January, that is when my hair will have grown enough. Then, we will further talk about the hair styles available to me.

My new years resolution is to start a new workout called: StrongLifts. It is a 5x5 workout meant to build strength, and thus, muscle. I also created an account on MyFitnessPal, a website that tells you how many calories, carbohydrates, proteins, and etcetera you need a day to accomplish your fitness goal (in my case, gain at least .5 lb a week). I am finding this site extremely useful. What is unfortunate is that when I do fun activities, like walking around meeting girls or playing ice hockey, I am losing a lot of calories, calories that I need to regain (this means that I need to eat more than my daily required amount that day). Sometimes, I feel that it is best for me to just sit at home, watch netflix, and eat lol.

 

[Dern]

Re: STICKIED: D's Journal

January 2

Went to the ski resort today. Saw an amazing hotty; blonde, Australian. She was busy working so i didn't approach. Later, as i am walking back to return my snow boots, i see her again out of my peripheral vision. This time, she is motionless, and out of her work clothes. I walk by, making sure to be slow, standing straight, and rolling my shoulders. Pretend to "notice" her, then smile, she smiles back, i walk up to her and open with: i just saw you standing here, and i wanted to let you know *nose wrinkle* that you are incrediblyy cute.
Her: thanks *smiles* thats very nice of you

So far, things are going well... Until...

Introductions
My hands were cold so i didn't do the hold her eyes + deep stare
Me: just having some fun huh? *looking at the deflated air palaces, other workers cleaning up*
her: yeah, just watching
Me: selfish...

Screwed up here, teased her the wrong way.

What might've been a better thing to do here would be to be mildly absurd. Like: look at those poor coworkers of yours, they probably want to blow their brains out!

Or: do you always like to watch?

Hehe, that would have been funny, but in situations like these, i still feel some tenseness, and either fumble to say something or look uncomfortable.

This is important to note because it signifies how influential social pressure can be... Until i get more experience under my belt.

For example, when i see a hot girl, i might walk faster, because im anxious. I might look at her eyes less, because im scared of her judging me or rejecting me. I might talk with a softer, passive tone of voice, which is good when I'm escalating with her, but not when I'm trying to make a good first impression.

I've already made my new years resolutions, but what i need to also do is to create goals to focus on when im out and approaching. I have been doing this, its just that sometimes i don't think about them when I'm with girls; i get too in my head. Also, its time for new ones, hopefully all the other ones have gotten ingrained in my head.

Long term goals:

Grow hair out, get a sexy hair style
Eat recommended macros for each day
Do stronglifts for 12 weeks
Go visit skin doctor
Apply scar removal cream daily
Gradually stop masturbating

Results: better body

Smoke weed on only four days of the week (be sober on at least wednesday, thursday, and sunday, then try to go for 4 sober days a week)
Meditate/visualize every day before you sleep on weekdays, and when you wake on weekends (for at least 15 minutes a day)

Results: mastering my sexual vibe

Short term goals for month of January:

Strong eye contact with everyone (not only girls)
Speak slowly, fluently, and smoothly with everyone (not only girls)
Speak firmly, louder, and more assertively with everyone (not only girls)

And okay, back to the story...

After i teased ger wrongly, i looked straight ahead and smiled to myself (sorta like a bored look i guess lol)
She reinitiated me with: how long are you here for?
Me: just a few days
Her: oh, who are you here with?
Me: my family, went boarding with my brother today. I'm not that good though, he's like way better than me.

Talked too much about myself here.

Me: where are you from?
Her: austrailia
Me: nice, theres a lot of people here from austrailia too

Didnt make her feel special here.

Her: yeah its sorta nice! Feels a bit like home.
Me: even though i bet you came here to meet new people
She agrees: yeah

Me: so what made you come all the way from austrailia to here?
Her: skiing
Me: wow, you must love skiing if you came all the way here!
Her: *smiles* yeah i love skiing
Her: my family still visits... And ive been skiing for 10 years, so its always been in my mind
Me: yeah... Just that feeling where something is tugging at your heart *point to my chest*

I provided good positive feedback here but instead of deep diving more about skiing, i tried to close! Fuck! I always get so anxious so i try to close instead of digging more!

I need to remember that when you get onto a good topic, you can deep dive with a set of questions, not just one! Thats how you keep the convo going, no topic hopping, and no trying to get the girl to hook!

Me: so what are you doing later tonight?
Her: umm... Im just waiting for my friends
Me: want to grab a drink later?
Her: actually, i think we were gonna go grab drinks
Me: think i could join?
Her: um, sure.
Me: great, well that was nice talking to you
Her: yeah
Me: gotta go return these boots now, maybe i'll see you later

Fucked up here too, should've proposed drinks alone another time, then gotten her number, but instead i panicked and ended up friend zoning myself.



Me:

 

[Dern]

Re: STICKIED: D's Journal

January 6

School started up again today, which is a bad thing for a lot of people because they're like "oh, we have to study now... "

But I'm looking at it in a positive way: a constant supply of women to approach without having to make an effort (like busing downtown lol). This also means: no excuses!

I started off the day with a shit load of approaches. Walking around the college like a motha fuckin creep! That's how I do! Hahahaha. Just gonna note some memorable moments:

Me: *to girl who was sitting in front of me in class, blocking my view* "how tall are you?"
Her: "ummmm... 5'10"
Me: "oh, well you were making it hard for me " (lol, a good tease, now that I read it, it sounds extremely sexual too hahaha, didn't even realize that when I said it)
Her: "weak laugh and looks away"

Took that as a sign of disinterest, so I left.

Me: *to sitting girl who I opened, then sat down across from* "that's a nice ring, can I see it"
Her: *moves her hand towards me*
Me: *brush my finger across her finger* (investment + touch)
Her: *moves her hand back*
Me: "what's the story behind it?"
Her: "oh its my engagement ring, our wedding's going to happen once I graduate"

Damn... talked with her a bit more than she left to go to class.

In the book store, one of the books that I wanted to purchase wasn't scanning, so the librarian had to enter it into the database or something silly like that. So I had to go to the side of the line-up and wait. A pretty girl comes up, and puts down her books to be scanned.

Me: "I like your hair"
Her: "thanks "
Me: "it's really ashy and... nice" (really practiced giving genuine compliments today. I always use the same direct opener (you are absolutely gorgeous), but I'm finding it easier and easier to think of better ones. Like, they don't have to be absolutely amazing compliments (well not yet)... something like: "hey, I like your boots (colored brown), they go well with the color of your hair (colored brown).
Her: "thanks "

Now she was waiting for her books or whatever as well, so I talked to her in like bursts, since she had to talk to the cashier as well. I would say something to her whenever the cashier wasn't present.

Me: *to head librarian* "is it done yet?" (let the girl know why I'm standing motionlessly at the side of the line-up)
Him: "not yet" *walks away*
Me: *to girl* "Is your name ______? (since she wrote it down on a piece of paper for the cashier, and I saw it)
Her: "yeah"
Me: "I'm Darren"
*handshake*
Me: *to girl in line-up that I knew from last semester, she was smiling, looking at me lol* "taking any English classes this year?"
*light banter with her for a bit*
Me: *turn back to girl I want to talk to* "we should definitely grab a coffee"
Her: "right now?" (surprised I'm moving so fast)
Me: "yes"
Her: "okay..."
Me: "great, just meet me in front of the Starbucks in the library"
Her: "okay, you'll be there?"
Me: "yes, should be in like 5 or 10"
Her: "okay"

So I go there after I purchase my books, and she's not there. Fuck. Whatevs.

I have to go get new glasses, so I leave campus. About 30 minutes later, I'm walking down the street, and this girl walks past me. I turn around and open from the side.

Me: "quick question... are you single?"
Her: *laughs* "no"
Light banter about what she's up to.
Work, she says.
Ask about work. She works in a restaurant.
Me: "ahhh, so you must love being surrounded by food"
Her: *starts laughing* "yes!"
She then asks me what I do, but I quickly turn it back to her.
I deep dive, ask if she could imagine herself working there for the rest of her life.
She says she could (which surprised me). She loves it there.
I could've deep dived more here, asking what she loves so much about it, but instead I provide positive feedback: "a lot of people nowadays go crazy over what they want to do, but you, you seem like you've got a hold of your life" (said something like that).
Her: "thanks"
Try to close here, try to schedule a date.
She says Tuesdays are her only free days.
I say, lets grab a coffee tomorrow then.
"I can't" she says, "I'm hanging out with my bf."
Me: "okay, just add your number to my phone then."

She does, but I text her later, and it turns out that she gave me a fake number.

Later on, I'm sitting on the bus going home. A cute girl gets on the bus so I shove aside so that she has the choice to sit beside me. She does.

Me: *smile*
Her: *smiles back*
Me: "what's that you got there?"
Her: "oh, *smiles* its a white board... it's got some stuff on it" *starts laughing* "I'm returning it to a friend" (from what I could see, there wasn't much on the board, just some half erased lines or something like that lol... whatever must've been on it before must've been funny).
Introductions, I do the handshake + deep stare into her eyes accompanied by closed mouth smile
Start light bantering about where we're from, about the area we live in.
Me: "this is a nice area."
Her: "yeah, there's a lot of families, I haven't met a lot of students yet"
Me: "well... I'm a student " *give her nudge on upper arm*
Her: "oh cool! UBC?"
Me: "no, Langara"
Her: "what are you studying?"
Me: "psychology"
Her: "oh sweet! some of my room-mates are majoring in psychology"
Her: "what do you plan on doing with it? psychologist?"
Me: "hmmmmm....." *thoughtful look* "probably something to do with helping people, like counselling. You need a masters for it, psychologist, you need a ph.D, and that's too much"
Me: "what about you? What are you studying?"
Her: "environmental studies"
Me: "hm. so you must really care about the environment"
Her: "yeah, especially in a city like this, there's so much nature"
Me: "save the world!"
Her: *laughs*
Me: "so, what do you want to do with that degree?"
Her: "I really want to open up my own coffee shop."
Me: "aahhh, a nice, cozy coffee store"
Her: "yeah, but that wouldn't be the only thing we sell. We would also have a section for weed, hash, butter..."
Me: "aaaahhhh, I see... so the coffee store would just be a cover-up"
Her: "exactly!"
Me: "that doesn't really have anything to do with your degree though, does it?" (digging deeper)
Her: "not really, but it's something that I've always wanted to do."
Me: "yes, just follow your heart... no matter how corny that sounds"
Her: "hahaha, yeah, I always tell people that... 'just follow your heart!'"
Me: "we must sound like the biggest stoners right now."
Her: *starts laughing*
Right here I should've gotten off, but I wanted to build more rapport and then close.
Me: "I really like your jacket by the way." (brown leather jacket) - note: I should've brushed her upper arm or something when I said this
Her: "thanks"
Me: "it goes really well with your hair" (brunette)
Her: "yeah, it's leather."
Me: "sweet, I'm wearing leather too! High five!
*high five*
Me: "goes well with your scarf as well" (colored brown lol)
Her: "yeah... I was actually thinking about that today!"
Me: "hey, so you seem like a swell girl."
Her: "thanks"
Me: "we should grab a coffee sometime"
Her: "yeah!"
Me: *take out my phone* "what's your schedule looking like?"
Her: "umm... really busy since school just started, but add my number and we'll figure something out"
Me: *hand her my phone*
Her: *tries entering her number but my blackberry confuses everyone lol* "I can't do this hahaha! Just do it yourself!" *I take my phone back and she tells me her number as I enter it down*
Her: "you live around here?"
Me: "yeah, just a couple stops away"
Her: "me too!"
Me: "you better not be stalking me!"
I don't remember how exactly she responded to this, but it led to a bunch of funny sarcastic remarks. Her reply was definitely positive.
Me: "hmmm... she seemed like a pretty cool girl" (pretending to talk about her lol)
Her: "yeah.... she smoked joints and stuff" (pretending to talk about herself lol)
Me *rubbing my hand on my chin + skeptical look*
Her: "like end up on a bed..." (I don't actually know if she said this, but that's what it sounded like, it sounds too good to be true though! maybe I was just imaging things! but when she said this, I just smiled. I should've responded instead: "ohhhh, now that's what you want" OR "keep dreaming girl" OR "pffftt... that's what you wish") But I actually don't know if she said this! Lol!

Hahaha, we got off at the same stop and made our separate ways. She was with her guy friends and I didn't realize this until then lol. Shook her hand again, and bided farewell. Texted her an icebreaker two hours ago and she just responded: "word. we should smoke a doob!"

I had a really good day today; approached like a motherfucking machine. Goes to show you how when things are looking dim, the last girl you talk to maybe the one that makes your day!

 

[Dern]

Re: STICKIED: D's Journal

January 9

Got one number today from a girl at school.

Me: *stands in front of her*
Her: *looks at me, then moves her stuff so that I can sit down*
Me: "thanks"
After 15, 20 seconds I say: "I'm Darren"
Her: *had her mouth full*
Me: "I always catch people at the best time"
Her: "Maddy... I know, I always do that to people too"
Me: "I just saw you sitting here, and I thought to myself, 'hm. what a pretty girl'"
Her: "thanks"
Me: "so you must be a health nut" (since she was eating salad)
Her: "yeah, I get it from working at a grocery store haha"
Her: "what do you do?"
Me: *answer, then turn it back on her*
Me: "you know what they say about people who eat nuts and greens as compared to people who feast on chocolate and deserts?"
Her: "what?"
Me: "that people who eat healthy have extreme discipline, I'm guessing you're like that"
Her: "yeah, well, I do work at the sampler station"
Me: "cool... we should grab a coffee sometime"
Her: "yeah!"
Me: *take down her digits*
Her: "I gotta get going to work now" (then she said something about how she enjoys work)
Me: "wow. that's a breath of refreshment, someone who actually likes their job"
Her: "yeah, took five shitty jobs to find"
Me: *smiles* "cya"