March 17
Been feeling pretty good these past couple of days. Just been happy with who I am, and how far I've come. It's only a matter of time before I get my first lay; I just have to keep improving my fundamentals, and keep doing what I'm doing. Been getting a lot of reference points and support from this community, which I am so thankful for. My friends are always calling me to chill, and I hardly have to struggle with conversation anymore (unless it is with a girl who isn't really into me because conversation is a reciprocal process, plus you can never be perfect at conversing, I am always analysing each interaction). All in all, I've come a long way from the shy, timid me who was scared of being alone and didn't know how to open his mouth.
I've been talking to T, and he said that he's going to help me achieve the results that I desire; but that I require a bit of an overhaul. He also told me to stop shotgun approaching in college; I'm going to be known as a creep. Instead, look for signs of interest (which I never get, which is why I need to improve my looks) and use situational openers. However, I am approaching the last stretch of college, and soon I will be off to university! So, to hell with my reputation! Better to be known as a creep who tells girls straight-up what's on his mind, rather than a no-one. Plus, there isn't really any social life at my college. Most people go to class, then go home. University is where social circle really matters. Therefore, I don't think the girls I approach know the other girls I approach, and even if they do, why do I care?
Anyways, on to the recount. Today was an odd day. Why? Because maybe T's message did stick in my head. I mean, I didn't directly open any girls... wow! Usually I'm walking all around campus like a madman, talking to girls. What's even more funny is that it took me more effort to ignore a girl than to actually approach one. For example, I was studying in the library, when I fell asleep. When I awoke, there was a curly haired blonde girl sitting halfway across the room from me. I just continued studying though, all the while thinking: "should I approach her? is she even hot? I need to take a closer look." So I went to the washroom and walked past her to check her out. Damn, was she cute. I sat back down in my seat, and kept contemplating the approach: "she's not batting her eyelashes at me, she's not checking me out or anything (only once when I got up to leave, and even then, I wouldn't call that "checking out," I would call that: responding to your surroundings), she looks familiar, I've probably already approached her... I'm just going to stay here and study." After a while, even if I decided to approach, it would've been awkward, after all, I've been studying for a while, and she would have known that I was hesitating like a motherfucker. Overall, I regret not approaching her. It was totally not me. Lol.
Ok, so next, I had to meet up with my psychology group. We were conducting a study on the students in our college; we had booked a room and had participants come in and fill out a brief questionnaire. There were certain time slots where participants would come in, and in-between these time slots, me and my group would have some time to talk to each other. So there's this cute brunette in my group; I mentioned her in my January 29 field report. I've never really had much of a conversation with her. Only once at the beginning of the semester (where she appeared to be really shy), and once on January 29 (a better conversation, but still a bit awkward). Anyways, in between these time slots, me and my group would banter. Eventually, it got to a point where it was only me and this girl talking to each other. The problem was that we were conversing in bursts (due to participants coming in and us having to explain the experiment to them), and also, I didn't know how chase frames would go, since the conversation was a group one (and even near the end, when it was just me and her talking, the convo could still be heard by the rest of our group). One chase frame I did was when she was joking around about signing up as a participant in our classmates' studies, and messing them up. "Troublemaker," I said (what would've been better to say: "Your quite the troublemaker, aren't ya)? Anyways, she responded: "yeah," with a smile. Since we, as a group, were bantering a lot about our classes (honestly, it's funny how so many people can't get past small talk), I decided to ask her: "so did you get accepted into sfu (university) yet?" She responded "no," they would have to wait until they receiver her final transcript. She asked me if I did, and I told her about the uni I got accepted into. She said "oh! my friend goes there and she loves it!" I asked: "what does she love about it?" Another group member said: "the partying." And the cute chick agreed, adding on that the clubs there were always filled by uni students, and that living in res was great, blah blah blah. She said that she would've applied there if learning a language weren't a requirement. I said: "well, you can learn it when you get there" (horrible response; I should've related by saying that I hate learning new languages too, which I did say, but after). Anyhow, this led to the question of what she wants to do. She said that she wanted to be a counsellor, that she was going to start volunteering for a crisis hotline, blah blah blah. It was hard to maintain the deep dive, since my group members were contributing as well. Nevertheless, I managed to do so. I said that she must be a very generous person then, but "why counselling?" She said that it was because she wanted to be a teacher at first, since she loves kids, but her mom was a teacher, and she told her not to be one. I replied that she shouldn't stop pursuing what she truly wants just because her mom told her so. She replied that that was true, but that she did want a job (there is an oversupply of teachers here), and that's how she landed on counselling. I commented that she was smart for looking at the practical side as well. She asked me what I wanted to do, and I did the thoughtful face. While I was doing this, she said: "you don't know?
" I replied: "I just want to travel the world." I then continued: "I need money though." She said: "that's why you should get a job." Lol pwned. I didn't even appear choked though (although I think I bit my lip slightly - hopefully she didn't see), and neither did I respond. She had scanned our group earlier, asking if we had jobs, and I was the only one who had said "no." Nonetheless, I turned it back on her, asking her what type of counsellor she wanted to be. She said something to do with kids, she didn't want to be a mourning counsellor or anything like that; too depressing. This entire interaction was in bursts, filled with a couple awkward silences here and there because of not knowing what to say sometimes, and being unsure of whether we should be doing something (regarding the project) or not... lol. Altogether, she seemed in a happy mood today (different from her shy self that was present previously). We were laughing a lot (killed the tension, but we were in a group, so that's ok, I just have to remember not to laugh so much or show my teeth much). She was teasing me about how I never come to class, how do I still get such good marks? I should've shrugged or something and made the sound: "I don't know" (mhmhmh). Oh, we also talked about her job working at a grocery store. She was complaining about how almost every co-worker was a guy. I chase framed: "isn't that a good thing?" She immediately switched gears and said: "yeahh, I actually dated one of the guys there for a bit... didn't really work out hahaha." Talked about how having a job was great because you got to see all your co-workers, and how you don't want to be like them. This led to her talking about her co-workers and whatnot. I plan to ask this girl out when the semester is coming to an end (soon). I just don't want to run the risk of getting rejected, and having an awkward rest of term. Honestly, I want to pwn this project, and we will. I just have to focus more on it, and less on her. Once it's finished, I can figure out how to go about asking her out.
Note: at one point, she was pulling her hands back behind her back to stretch against the chair. This lead to her protruding her boobs out at me. Perfect chance to say something like: "stop taunting me with your boobs, it's not going to work." I didn't think of that in the moment though, and I dunno if I should've even said it had I thought of it, considering our group members were present.
After, I go to the library, and there's this hot dark haired girl browsing through the books (again, she looks familiar - maybe I've approached before)? I pretend to look at books near her, then make my way right next to her. I definitely screwed up here by moving too fast. It obviously looked like I was pretending to look at the books, and that instead, all I cared about, was talking to her. I opened with a situational opener: "it would take me years to read all these books." A better situational opener would've been like: "by the time I read all these books, I'll probably be lying on my death-bed" OR "I hope they don't expect us to read ALL these books." Anyways, I said this opener real quiet, as we were in the library, and pussy me is always scared of being overheard, so either she didn't hear me, or she did and wasn't interested, for she didn't respond.
Later, I meet my tutor at Starbucks. About an hour near the end of our session, a blonde girl comes to Starbucks and sits down in the corner with a big bag of chips and starts eating them on her own. I was contemplating approaching her, not because of approach anxiety (what is approach anxiety anyways?), but because her character didn't appeal to me. I mean, it looked like she had a cute face, but the fact that she was on her own, eating chips for an hour straight sort of turned me off. Plus, she was wearing black track pants and runners, not a very sexy outfit for a girl. I figured that she must either be lonely, an LG, or both. However, as you can see, I totally let me ego get the best of me. I'll return to this soon. Near the end of our session, these two guys who had been talking to each other, turned to my tutor and I and commented on how I wrote with my left hand. One of the guys said that he was left handed too, and how this meant that I was smart. Me, using my awesome conversation skills that I have learned from this site, casually threw out some friendly remarks, leading to a mini convo. I really didn't want to continue talking with these guys, so I slowly returned to my work. Eventually, these guys got up to leave, but before doing so, they came over to my tutor and I, introduced themselves and sat down, apologizing for bothering us. They were from Libya, and thus, were wanting to know where the nice places in Vancouver were. After a polite conversation, they thanked us and left. I paid my tutor and he left, leaving me and this girl alone in Starbucks, with no one around. "I can easily approach this girl," I thought. "But I'm not going to." She looked at me a couple of times, but that was only because I stood up/moved (or maybe she was checking me out... who the hell knows)? Anyways, I start texting on my phone, waiting for my dad to pick me up. 5 minutes past, and out of my peripherals, I see this girl preparing to leave. "Ah, what the hell do I have to lose," I thought. So I looked at her, smiled, and she didn't smile back, so I looked down for a second, then looked back at her and said: "those must be some good chips." She smiled and said: "yeah." I teased: "not going to share with me?" She smiled again and apologized for not sharing. She then asked me if I go to Langara (she had overheard the conversation between me and those Libyan guys + she wasn't an LG after all). I replied: "yeah." She said: "I used to go there too, for science, but I transferred to ubc for music." I asked: "what made you do the switch?" "She said, "it was too hard, honestly" (perfect chance for me to say something like: "but I thought you girls liked it hard?") Dunno if that would've been too early to say though; could've made things awkward real quick. She went on: "I might be going back next semester though." "Music not your thing?" I wondered. "No," she said. She then walked up to where I was sitting (investment). I got a closer look at her, and she did have a cute face. Totally fuckable, I truly understand the influence of fundamentals now. She asked me what I took, and I told her psychology. She asked me if I liked it and I said: "yes I do. I really do*pause* how we behave, interact... it's all really fascinating." She asked me if I knew those guys (to which I said no), and if that was my tutor. I replied that he was, and without him, I would be failing (humble shit right here). She apologized again for not sharing her chips, and started talking about how it was weird that she was just hogging all of them to herself. I told her that it was ok, that everyone has their own guilty pleasures, even the most busiest person spends time at least once a week in their pjs, lying on the sofa, watching shitty reality tv shows (trying to show that I was non-judgemental, maybe it would've been better if I shared one of my guilty pleasures like sleeping late). "I don't watch reality tv," she said. Lol. I then tried to number close here: "hey, so we should grab a coffee sometime." She said, "yeah, I'm always around here." I said, "maybe I could just take down your number." She responded, saying that her phone was broken right now, but that she could take down my # and call me from a land line sometime. Not wanting to sound needy, I agreed, wrote down my name and # on a sheet of paper, and handed it to her. "Is this like your daily routine?" I asked her. She said "noo, sometimes I go to the gym" (might've sounded a bit judgmental here, but at least I got her qualifying herself even further). She asked me when the best time to call me would be. I said: "ummmm. weeknights are best." She said ok, then asked me where I lived. I told her kits. She said: "oh my parents live down there." "So you live on your own? I asked." "Yes," she said. "Must be very peaceful and relaxing," I exclaimed. She agreed, then said that she should get going, she had some shopping to finish and that she was going to try to study when I get home ("key word: studying," I responded), and what I was doing. I told her I was waiting for my ride (if I wasn't I think inviting myself over to her place would've been ideal). We both said bye at the same time.
I regret not approaching her right after my tutor left. I hope she didn't think it was because I was scared. Hopefully she ends up calling me. I dunno how girls feel about setting up a date. Nervous? Hopefully, I made a good enough impression that she can't stop thinking of me. I didn't toss out a chase frame: "just make sure you aren't calling me 24/7!" because I felt that my status was already perceived as higher than her.
Good vibes today. Throughout the day, I bumped into people I knew, and fed off socializing with them. Realized that I don't have to talk to a shit load of girls to make myself happy (but I should anyways lol)!
Stolen from somewhere on these forums: Don't be yourself, be the man you want to be.
So. Fucking. True.
May you all be the men you want to be.
Been feeling pretty good these past couple of days. Just been happy with who I am, and how far I've come. It's only a matter of time before I get my first lay; I just have to keep improving my fundamentals, and keep doing what I'm doing. Been getting a lot of reference points and support from this community, which I am so thankful for. My friends are always calling me to chill, and I hardly have to struggle with conversation anymore (unless it is with a girl who isn't really into me because conversation is a reciprocal process, plus you can never be perfect at conversing, I am always analysing each interaction). All in all, I've come a long way from the shy, timid me who was scared of being alone and didn't know how to open his mouth.
I've been talking to T, and he said that he's going to help me achieve the results that I desire; but that I require a bit of an overhaul. He also told me to stop shotgun approaching in college; I'm going to be known as a creep. Instead, look for signs of interest (which I never get, which is why I need to improve my looks) and use situational openers. However, I am approaching the last stretch of college, and soon I will be off to university! So, to hell with my reputation! Better to be known as a creep who tells girls straight-up what's on his mind, rather than a no-one. Plus, there isn't really any social life at my college. Most people go to class, then go home. University is where social circle really matters. Therefore, I don't think the girls I approach know the other girls I approach, and even if they do, why do I care?
Anyways, on to the recount. Today was an odd day. Why? Because maybe T's message did stick in my head. I mean, I didn't directly open any girls... wow! Usually I'm walking all around campus like a madman, talking to girls. What's even more funny is that it took me more effort to ignore a girl than to actually approach one. For example, I was studying in the library, when I fell asleep. When I awoke, there was a curly haired blonde girl sitting halfway across the room from me. I just continued studying though, all the while thinking: "should I approach her? is she even hot? I need to take a closer look." So I went to the washroom and walked past her to check her out. Damn, was she cute. I sat back down in my seat, and kept contemplating the approach: "she's not batting her eyelashes at me, she's not checking me out or anything (only once when I got up to leave, and even then, I wouldn't call that "checking out," I would call that: responding to your surroundings), she looks familiar, I've probably already approached her... I'm just going to stay here and study." After a while, even if I decided to approach, it would've been awkward, after all, I've been studying for a while, and she would have known that I was hesitating like a motherfucker. Overall, I regret not approaching her. It was totally not me. Lol.
Ok, so next, I had to meet up with my psychology group. We were conducting a study on the students in our college; we had booked a room and had participants come in and fill out a brief questionnaire. There were certain time slots where participants would come in, and in-between these time slots, me and my group would have some time to talk to each other. So there's this cute brunette in my group; I mentioned her in my January 29 field report. I've never really had much of a conversation with her. Only once at the beginning of the semester (where she appeared to be really shy), and once on January 29 (a better conversation, but still a bit awkward). Anyways, in between these time slots, me and my group would banter. Eventually, it got to a point where it was only me and this girl talking to each other. The problem was that we were conversing in bursts (due to participants coming in and us having to explain the experiment to them), and also, I didn't know how chase frames would go, since the conversation was a group one (and even near the end, when it was just me and her talking, the convo could still be heard by the rest of our group). One chase frame I did was when she was joking around about signing up as a participant in our classmates' studies, and messing them up. "Troublemaker," I said (what would've been better to say: "Your quite the troublemaker, aren't ya)? Anyways, she responded: "yeah," with a smile. Since we, as a group, were bantering a lot about our classes (honestly, it's funny how so many people can't get past small talk), I decided to ask her: "so did you get accepted into sfu (university) yet?" She responded "no," they would have to wait until they receiver her final transcript. She asked me if I did, and I told her about the uni I got accepted into. She said "oh! my friend goes there and she loves it!" I asked: "what does she love about it?" Another group member said: "the partying." And the cute chick agreed, adding on that the clubs there were always filled by uni students, and that living in res was great, blah blah blah. She said that she would've applied there if learning a language weren't a requirement. I said: "well, you can learn it when you get there" (horrible response; I should've related by saying that I hate learning new languages too, which I did say, but after). Anyhow, this led to the question of what she wants to do. She said that she wanted to be a counsellor, that she was going to start volunteering for a crisis hotline, blah blah blah. It was hard to maintain the deep dive, since my group members were contributing as well. Nevertheless, I managed to do so. I said that she must be a very generous person then, but "why counselling?" She said that it was because she wanted to be a teacher at first, since she loves kids, but her mom was a teacher, and she told her not to be one. I replied that she shouldn't stop pursuing what she truly wants just because her mom told her so. She replied that that was true, but that she did want a job (there is an oversupply of teachers here), and that's how she landed on counselling. I commented that she was smart for looking at the practical side as well. She asked me what I wanted to do, and I did the thoughtful face. While I was doing this, she said: "you don't know?
" I replied: "I just want to travel the world." I then continued: "I need money though." She said: "that's why you should get a job." Lol pwned. I didn't even appear choked though (although I think I bit my lip slightly - hopefully she didn't see), and neither did I respond. She had scanned our group earlier, asking if we had jobs, and I was the only one who had said "no." Nonetheless, I turned it back on her, asking her what type of counsellor she wanted to be. She said something to do with kids, she didn't want to be a mourning counsellor or anything like that; too depressing. This entire interaction was in bursts, filled with a couple awkward silences here and there because of not knowing what to say sometimes, and being unsure of whether we should be doing something (regarding the project) or not... lol. Altogether, she seemed in a happy mood today (different from her shy self that was present previously). We were laughing a lot (killed the tension, but we were in a group, so that's ok, I just have to remember not to laugh so much or show my teeth much). She was teasing me about how I never come to class, how do I still get such good marks? I should've shrugged or something and made the sound: "I don't know" (mhmhmh). Oh, we also talked about her job working at a grocery store. She was complaining about how almost every co-worker was a guy. I chase framed: "isn't that a good thing?" She immediately switched gears and said: "yeahh, I actually dated one of the guys there for a bit... didn't really work out hahaha." Talked about how having a job was great because you got to see all your co-workers, and how you don't want to be like them. This led to her talking about her co-workers and whatnot. I plan to ask this girl out when the semester is coming to an end (soon). I just don't want to run the risk of getting rejected, and having an awkward rest of term. Honestly, I want to pwn this project, and we will. I just have to focus more on it, and less on her. Once it's finished, I can figure out how to go about asking her out. Note: at one point, she was pulling her hands back behind her back to stretch against the chair. This lead to her protruding her boobs out at me. Perfect chance to say something like: "stop taunting me with your boobs, it's not going to work." I didn't think of that in the moment though, and I dunno if I should've even said it had I thought of it, considering our group members were present.
After, I go to the library, and there's this hot dark haired girl browsing through the books (again, she looks familiar - maybe I've approached before)? I pretend to look at books near her, then make my way right next to her. I definitely screwed up here by moving too fast. It obviously looked like I was pretending to look at the books, and that instead, all I cared about, was talking to her. I opened with a situational opener: "it would take me years to read all these books." A better situational opener would've been like: "by the time I read all these books, I'll probably be lying on my death-bed" OR "I hope they don't expect us to read ALL these books." Anyways, I said this opener real quiet, as we were in the library, and pussy me is always scared of being overheard, so either she didn't hear me, or she did and wasn't interested, for she didn't respond.
Later, I meet my tutor at Starbucks. About an hour near the end of our session, a blonde girl comes to Starbucks and sits down in the corner with a big bag of chips and starts eating them on her own. I was contemplating approaching her, not because of approach anxiety (what is approach anxiety anyways?), but because her character didn't appeal to me. I mean, it looked like she had a cute face, but the fact that she was on her own, eating chips for an hour straight sort of turned me off. Plus, she was wearing black track pants and runners, not a very sexy outfit for a girl. I figured that she must either be lonely, an LG, or both. However, as you can see, I totally let me ego get the best of me. I'll return to this soon. Near the end of our session, these two guys who had been talking to each other, turned to my tutor and I and commented on how I wrote with my left hand. One of the guys said that he was left handed too, and how this meant that I was smart. Me, using my awesome conversation skills that I have learned from this site, casually threw out some friendly remarks, leading to a mini convo. I really didn't want to continue talking with these guys, so I slowly returned to my work. Eventually, these guys got up to leave, but before doing so, they came over to my tutor and I, introduced themselves and sat down, apologizing for bothering us. They were from Libya, and thus, were wanting to know where the nice places in Vancouver were. After a polite conversation, they thanked us and left. I paid my tutor and he left, leaving me and this girl alone in Starbucks, with no one around. "I can easily approach this girl," I thought. "But I'm not going to." She looked at me a couple of times, but that was only because I stood up/moved (or maybe she was checking me out... who the hell knows)? Anyways, I start texting on my phone, waiting for my dad to pick me up. 5 minutes past, and out of my peripherals, I see this girl preparing to leave. "Ah, what the hell do I have to lose," I thought. So I looked at her, smiled, and she didn't smile back, so I looked down for a second, then looked back at her and said: "those must be some good chips." She smiled and said: "yeah." I teased: "not going to share with me?" She smiled again and apologized for not sharing. She then asked me if I go to Langara (she had overheard the conversation between me and those Libyan guys + she wasn't an LG after all). I replied: "yeah." She said: "I used to go there too, for science, but I transferred to ubc for music." I asked: "what made you do the switch?" "She said, "it was too hard, honestly" (perfect chance for me to say something like: "but I thought you girls liked it hard?") Dunno if that would've been too early to say though; could've made things awkward real quick. She went on: "I might be going back next semester though." "Music not your thing?" I wondered. "No," she said. She then walked up to where I was sitting (investment). I got a closer look at her, and she did have a cute face. Totally fuckable, I truly understand the influence of fundamentals now. She asked me what I took, and I told her psychology. She asked me if I liked it and I said: "yes I do. I really do*pause* how we behave, interact... it's all really fascinating." She asked me if I knew those guys (to which I said no), and if that was my tutor. I replied that he was, and without him, I would be failing (humble shit right here). She apologized again for not sharing her chips, and started talking about how it was weird that she was just hogging all of them to herself. I told her that it was ok, that everyone has their own guilty pleasures, even the most busiest person spends time at least once a week in their pjs, lying on the sofa, watching shitty reality tv shows (trying to show that I was non-judgemental, maybe it would've been better if I shared one of my guilty pleasures like sleeping late). "I don't watch reality tv," she said. Lol. I then tried to number close here: "hey, so we should grab a coffee sometime." She said, "yeah, I'm always around here." I said, "maybe I could just take down your number." She responded, saying that her phone was broken right now, but that she could take down my # and call me from a land line sometime. Not wanting to sound needy, I agreed, wrote down my name and # on a sheet of paper, and handed it to her. "Is this like your daily routine?" I asked her. She said "noo, sometimes I go to the gym" (might've sounded a bit judgmental here, but at least I got her qualifying herself even further). She asked me when the best time to call me would be. I said: "ummmm. weeknights are best." She said ok, then asked me where I lived. I told her kits. She said: "oh my parents live down there." "So you live on your own? I asked." "Yes," she said. "Must be very peaceful and relaxing," I exclaimed. She agreed, then said that she should get going, she had some shopping to finish and that she was going to try to study when I get home ("key word: studying," I responded), and what I was doing. I told her I was waiting for my ride (if I wasn't I think inviting myself over to her place would've been ideal). We both said bye at the same time.
I regret not approaching her right after my tutor left. I hope she didn't think it was because I was scared. Hopefully she ends up calling me. I dunno how girls feel about setting up a date. Nervous? Hopefully, I made a good enough impression that she can't stop thinking of me. I didn't toss out a chase frame: "just make sure you aren't calling me 24/7!" because I felt that my status was already perceived as higher than her.
Good vibes today. Throughout the day, I bumped into people I knew, and fed off socializing with them. Realized that I don't have to talk to a shit load of girls to make myself happy (but I should anyways lol)!
Stolen from somewhere on these forums: Don't be yourself, be the man you want to be.
So. Fucking. True.
May you all be the men you want to be.
