- Joined
- Jan 15, 2013
- Messages
- 467
Naw Jake, that's not me in the pic. I just Google imaged "guys in fitted caps" and this guy fit the bill. I picked him because he's close to Dern's age and chicks dig that look.
ProblemSolving is lying. That's totally him in the picture 
Lol.
Anyways, I have some thoughts I really need to get out:
October 8
A rock band came to play at the school pub. It was so fucking loud that I would just direct open girls, tell them to come outside with me, and then take their hands and try to drag them outside. After a while, I realized that this wasn't working lol, so I just joined the mosh pit and had a good time. The closest that I got was a cute blonde from my spanish class approached me and we took each others hands and started dancing and singing this spanish song that we had learned in class lol. Obviously when I asked her to come outside with me though, she declined. This makes me unsure if I should ask her out the next time I see her in class. She always sits next to this cute brunette in my social circle too, making things more complicated.
October 9
Had such a fun night tonight. Ripped it up at the club with four chicks from my social circle lol. I went with that hottie brunette that I've been obsessing about and talked about some posts up, a short hottie brunette, an ok looking brown chick who has a really cool laid back personality, and a not so good looking hawaiian girl. This hottie brunette though! Damn she was looking fucking incredible tonight. Dress showing all of her back and shiet. We were dancing as a group, and at one point, I just turned to her and started grinding up against her... hahaha omg! Lol, I dunno if it was because she didn't want our friends to see, or if she was just not down for me, cause after like a minute, she turned away. Hahaha, I wonder what all of our friends were thinking. I think they were laughing lol.
So I feel like I turned into a white knight tonight lol. For example, we were all dancing, and there was this creepy brown dude trying to dance with us, so one of the girls pushed me into a spot so that the creepy brown dude got caged out. Lol. Also, when we left the club, we were outside, waiting for our DD to come (my fucking roomie lmfao)! So hottie brunette and ok looking brown chick go back inside because it's too fucking cold, leaving me with short hottie brunette and not so good looking hawaiian girl. They're saying how cold it is, I'm like wearing a dress shirt and leather jacket, laughing to myself, but I don't want to offer them to cuddle or anything in fears that I would be even more white knight lol. Eventually though, they're just like "D, we're gonna cuddle with you, you have a jacket on." Lol! Omg, so I'm like standing there with two chicks under my arms, looking like a boss, but feeling like a white knight. Hahahaha I'm laughing as I type this shit out. Life is too good right now. Ok, so our DD comes, hottie brunette and ok looking brown chick come back out, and we all pack the car. Not so good looking hawaiian girl sits on my lap, and we head back to campus. Hottie brunette goes into ok looking brown chick's room to girl talk or whatever, so I'm getting more and more of an impression of how fucking hard it is going to be to isolate this hottie brunette. She's really clingy to her friends, and her friends are really clingy to her. My best bet right now is to catch her at a time when she's sober and grabbing food in the caf alone, get her to sit down with me, deep dive, then pull to her room to escalate OR if a same day pull isn't possible, propose a time to hang out, just me and her, and then number pull (then I could text her like after one of these nights where we go to the club) OR I could tell ok looking brown girl (she's like the leader of hottie brunette), who I've really bonded well with already, that I really like hottie brunette, and hopefully she will do something to hook us up together. Lol. Omg look at me, I'm like obsessing again. So unhealthy! Lol. Can't help it though. Even when I spend the entire day cold approaching, I will still be reminded of the fact that I want this girl when I see her. Problem Solvinggggg, I neeeeeddd yourrrr heeeelllppp! Hahahahaha!
Anyhow, Jake, I read your post on how you tried club game for the first time lol. I know exactly how you feel, and I wouldn't take it personally. Like ray zorse said, your night game will improve after a few solid outings, I'm just getting into it too. If you want my honest opinion, go to bars, not clubs; more of a sociable environment. Like it was almost fucking impossible to hear anything in the club. I really think the only process should be: approach --> isolate to outside and/or dance floor. In Chase's night game articles, he doesn't even recommend dancing; it's a waste of energy. You can also do what ray zorse does and do like a bunch of laid-back shotgun approaches. Maximus told me the same thing: do shotgun approaches and let the girls who are interested find you. All in all, in my opinion, day game is better because (A). you can actually have a conversation without having to move the girl, (B). you can find girls who are alone = less social pressure, (C). they're not expecting to be approached, so their guards are down, and (D). in a club, most girls are there to have fun and dance with their friends; their not necessarily there to meet guys, the hundreds of guys that hit on her are just for ego boosts and self-validation. If I had gone to the club alone, I would have had a horrible time. It was only because I went with four chicks that I had such a blast.
Lol.
Anyways, I have some thoughts I really need to get out:
October 8
A rock band came to play at the school pub. It was so fucking loud that I would just direct open girls, tell them to come outside with me, and then take their hands and try to drag them outside. After a while, I realized that this wasn't working lol, so I just joined the mosh pit and had a good time. The closest that I got was a cute blonde from my spanish class approached me and we took each others hands and started dancing and singing this spanish song that we had learned in class lol. Obviously when I asked her to come outside with me though, she declined. This makes me unsure if I should ask her out the next time I see her in class. She always sits next to this cute brunette in my social circle too, making things more complicated.
October 9
Had such a fun night tonight. Ripped it up at the club with four chicks from my social circle lol. I went with that hottie brunette that I've been obsessing about and talked about some posts up, a short hottie brunette, an ok looking brown chick who has a really cool laid back personality, and a not so good looking hawaiian girl. This hottie brunette though! Damn she was looking fucking incredible tonight. Dress showing all of her back and shiet. We were dancing as a group, and at one point, I just turned to her and started grinding up against her... hahaha omg! Lol, I dunno if it was because she didn't want our friends to see, or if she was just not down for me, cause after like a minute, she turned away. Hahaha, I wonder what all of our friends were thinking. I think they were laughing lol.
So I feel like I turned into a white knight tonight lol. For example, we were all dancing, and there was this creepy brown dude trying to dance with us, so one of the girls pushed me into a spot so that the creepy brown dude got caged out. Lol. Also, when we left the club, we were outside, waiting for our DD to come (my fucking roomie lmfao)! So hottie brunette and ok looking brown chick go back inside because it's too fucking cold, leaving me with short hottie brunette and not so good looking hawaiian girl. They're saying how cold it is, I'm like wearing a dress shirt and leather jacket, laughing to myself, but I don't want to offer them to cuddle or anything in fears that I would be even more white knight lol. Eventually though, they're just like "D, we're gonna cuddle with you, you have a jacket on." Lol! Omg, so I'm like standing there with two chicks under my arms, looking like a boss, but feeling like a white knight. Hahahaha I'm laughing as I type this shit out. Life is too good right now. Ok, so our DD comes, hottie brunette and ok looking brown chick come back out, and we all pack the car. Not so good looking hawaiian girl sits on my lap, and we head back to campus. Hottie brunette goes into ok looking brown chick's room to girl talk or whatever, so I'm getting more and more of an impression of how fucking hard it is going to be to isolate this hottie brunette. She's really clingy to her friends, and her friends are really clingy to her. My best bet right now is to catch her at a time when she's sober and grabbing food in the caf alone, get her to sit down with me, deep dive, then pull to her room to escalate OR if a same day pull isn't possible, propose a time to hang out, just me and her, and then number pull (then I could text her like after one of these nights where we go to the club) OR I could tell ok looking brown girl (she's like the leader of hottie brunette), who I've really bonded well with already, that I really like hottie brunette, and hopefully she will do something to hook us up together. Lol. Omg look at me, I'm like obsessing again. So unhealthy! Lol. Can't help it though. Even when I spend the entire day cold approaching, I will still be reminded of the fact that I want this girl when I see her. Problem Solvinggggg, I neeeeeddd yourrrr heeeelllppp! Hahahahaha!
Anyhow, Jake, I read your post on how you tried club game for the first time lol. I know exactly how you feel, and I wouldn't take it personally. Like ray zorse said, your night game will improve after a few solid outings, I'm just getting into it too. If you want my honest opinion, go to bars, not clubs; more of a sociable environment. Like it was almost fucking impossible to hear anything in the club. I really think the only process should be: approach --> isolate to outside and/or dance floor. In Chase's night game articles, he doesn't even recommend dancing; it's a waste of energy. You can also do what ray zorse does and do like a bunch of laid-back shotgun approaches. Maximus told me the same thing: do shotgun approaches and let the girls who are interested find you. All in all, in my opinion, day game is better because (A). you can actually have a conversation without having to move the girl, (B). you can find girls who are alone = less social pressure, (C). they're not expecting to be approached, so their guards are down, and (D). in a club, most girls are there to have fun and dance with their friends; their not necessarily there to meet guys, the hundreds of guys that hit on her are just for ego boosts and self-validation. If I had gone to the club alone, I would have had a horrible time. It was only because I went with four chicks that I had such a blast.
- Joined
- Jan 15, 2013
- Messages
- 467
Dern said:
You need to work on your excuses, my man. Give her a reason to come outside, then LEAD her there. "It's too hot in here, let's get some fresh air", then grab her hand and lead her out of there.
Dern said:
The next time you hit the club with a bunch of chicks, use pre-selection to your advantage and hit on all the other girls at club. You can bet those other girls in the club saw you come in with 4 girls, so capitalize on that attraction. I guarantee that girl you have a thing for will be looking at you in a whole new way. Once she sees other girls are attracted to you, then she might start chasing, but I think this ultimately boils down to a sex appeal problem.
Dern said:
This girl, and likely all of her friends, know you want to get in her pants. Grinding on her ass and only her ass, made things very clear. If they wanted, they could have easily left the two of you alone for some one-on-one time. But it seems like her and her friends are going out of their way to make sure that you're not alone with her. In other words, she's not interested.
Your best bet is to hit on other chicks, that short hot brunette in particular. Her cuddling up with you before the ride arrived would have made it easy for her to sit in your lap instead of the other one, but you need to LEAD for it to happen.
Dern said:
This is never a good sign lol. If you go out again with this girl and her friends, she must see other girls attracted to you if you have any hope of turning this ship around. As of right now, you're firmly in the friendzone.
I can't stress this enough, but you must have your sex appeal handled - it will make everything else easier and have the biggest affect on your results. That means fashion and haircut is on point - generic anything won't do.
One last thing, how many Asian girls have you hit on since school started? The reason I ask, is because you need positive reference experiences and these will more than likely come easier with Asian girls.
October 16
1. dark hair girl with green eyes
she’s sitting down, with stuff beside her, so i go up to her and command her to move the stuff lol
she starts moving it, and so I am satisfied and take a seat beside her
tell her how i just thought she was cute
do the introduction bullshit
i can tell she’s already sort of hooked since she’s no longer reading whatever’s on her computer
i say that her jacket really matches her eyes (they were both green)
she tells me it’s actually her friends, that she really likes it, and i joke around about how she might even never return it
i really want to see how far i can push her investment, so i tell her to let me try it on
she’s sort of like “really?” but takes it off anyways lol
so i put it on, do some sort of sexy funny pose lol and she takes out her phone and takes a pic of me
i’m like “now you have a picture of me” (trying to set up a chase frame here like: “oh now you have a picture of me, i hope you aren’t looking at it 24/7” but i couldn’t really think/get that last part in)
she’s like, “well it’s a snap chat”
i ask her how i look and shit and she’s like “good”
i return the jacket and sit down, ask her what she’s doing
she tells me some shit about blindness or whatever, says it’s really interesting, i try to deep dive this by asking what’s so interesting about it, but she doesn’t really give me a response i can work with
i feel like it would’ve been better to deep dive her major, but i am a fucking reet and always let the pressure get to me so i have to go for the number pull and eject myself from the situation (well she asked me if i had class soon so I sort of got the hint?)
but she said she usually doesn’t give out her number
i replied: “usualllyyyyy, but today, you will”
she was like “no” but if I see you again, we will go for a coffee
she then told me she liked my camo backpack
i should’ve pushed harder for the number here, like she complimented me when i was about to leave, so maybe she still was interested? dunno? maybe just being nice? i feel like i should’ve joked around about like starting our own fashion line or whatever and leading that to a talk about how girls start researching about fashion and looks earlier than men, so when men start reading about shit like that, they are like bombarded with all this info, which makes them go crazy (a topic i talked about with my hairdresser; she totally knows how i feel lol)
anyways, i’m sort of mad i didn’t try to deep dive something else and then try for the number again. i just told her i would see her around and left
2. brunette beauty
girl is about to walk past me, so I put my hand up
she stops
I open with “hi”
She smiles and says “hi”
I say something like: “I just thought you were absolutely gorgeous” (with emphasis lol)
she laughs and says thanks, starts talking about how flattered she is
we introduce ourselves
i take her hand in mine and start swaying lightly lol
i can’t remember all of the conversation, so I’ll just write the parts that stand out
so she must have mentioned that “she’ll see me around” or something like that, because, at one point i make her pinky swear that she’s not going to be following me around lol
so now we have our pinkys interlocked, and she needs to get to class, so she starts walking slowly away, our pinkys still intertwined
so i’m just like: “stop! where are you taking me! what are you doing!? this isn’t fair!”
lol all the meanwhile, she’s just laughing
she’s like “omg your funny”, “omg this never happens”
i’m like: “thanks, I know I’m a sexy confident asian guy”
lol
she’s like “your funny”
i’m like: “yeah, i think you bring it out in me. so what are you up to now?”
she’s going to class, so I ask her when she’s done
she’s like 6:30
so I’m like “we should get dinner at 6:30 then”
she starts to get unsure, like saying things like “i dunno… today’s my long day… blah blah blah”
then she admits that she has a boyfriend and that shit is complicated with him right now
so i immediately take this as a chance to disqualify myself as bf material
i’m just like: “well, i’m not relationship material”
so she’s like: “ok!”
and i take down her number
call her later when she’s done class but she texts me back saying she’s with her bf… oh well! on to the next one!
1. dark hair girl with green eyes
she’s sitting down, with stuff beside her, so i go up to her and command her to move the stuff lol
she starts moving it, and so I am satisfied and take a seat beside her
tell her how i just thought she was cute
do the introduction bullshit
i can tell she’s already sort of hooked since she’s no longer reading whatever’s on her computer
i say that her jacket really matches her eyes (they were both green)
she tells me it’s actually her friends, that she really likes it, and i joke around about how she might even never return it
i really want to see how far i can push her investment, so i tell her to let me try it on
she’s sort of like “really?” but takes it off anyways lol
so i put it on, do some sort of sexy funny pose lol and she takes out her phone and takes a pic of me
i’m like “now you have a picture of me” (trying to set up a chase frame here like: “oh now you have a picture of me, i hope you aren’t looking at it 24/7” but i couldn’t really think/get that last part in)
she’s like, “well it’s a snap chat”
i ask her how i look and shit and she’s like “good”
i return the jacket and sit down, ask her what she’s doing
she tells me some shit about blindness or whatever, says it’s really interesting, i try to deep dive this by asking what’s so interesting about it, but she doesn’t really give me a response i can work with
i feel like it would’ve been better to deep dive her major, but i am a fucking reet and always let the pressure get to me so i have to go for the number pull and eject myself from the situation (well she asked me if i had class soon so I sort of got the hint?)
but she said she usually doesn’t give out her number
i replied: “usualllyyyyy, but today, you will”
she was like “no” but if I see you again, we will go for a coffee
she then told me she liked my camo backpack
i should’ve pushed harder for the number here, like she complimented me when i was about to leave, so maybe she still was interested? dunno? maybe just being nice? i feel like i should’ve joked around about like starting our own fashion line or whatever and leading that to a talk about how girls start researching about fashion and looks earlier than men, so when men start reading about shit like that, they are like bombarded with all this info, which makes them go crazy (a topic i talked about with my hairdresser; she totally knows how i feel lol)
anyways, i’m sort of mad i didn’t try to deep dive something else and then try for the number again. i just told her i would see her around and left
2. brunette beauty
girl is about to walk past me, so I put my hand up
she stops
I open with “hi”
She smiles and says “hi”
I say something like: “I just thought you were absolutely gorgeous” (with emphasis lol)
she laughs and says thanks, starts talking about how flattered she is
we introduce ourselves
i take her hand in mine and start swaying lightly lol
i can’t remember all of the conversation, so I’ll just write the parts that stand out
so she must have mentioned that “she’ll see me around” or something like that, because, at one point i make her pinky swear that she’s not going to be following me around lol
so now we have our pinkys interlocked, and she needs to get to class, so she starts walking slowly away, our pinkys still intertwined
so i’m just like: “stop! where are you taking me! what are you doing!? this isn’t fair!”
lol all the meanwhile, she’s just laughing
she’s like “omg your funny”, “omg this never happens”
i’m like: “thanks, I know I’m a sexy confident asian guy”
lol
she’s like “your funny”
i’m like: “yeah, i think you bring it out in me. so what are you up to now?”
she’s going to class, so I ask her when she’s done
she’s like 6:30
so I’m like “we should get dinner at 6:30 then”
she starts to get unsure, like saying things like “i dunno… today’s my long day… blah blah blah”
then she admits that she has a boyfriend and that shit is complicated with him right now
so i immediately take this as a chance to disqualify myself as bf material
i’m just like: “well, i’m not relationship material”
so she’s like: “ok!”
and i take down her number
call her later when she’s done class but she texts me back saying she’s with her bf… oh well! on to the next one!
November 28
i haven’t done this in so long… like writing… about girls…
wtf lol
im so baked i dont even care anymore
lol
so
go on the bus
as usual, sit beside the party ppl on the bus
some asian energetic drunk guy is like “heyyy maaaan!” cause i know him from somewhere somehow lol
so he’s with all these hot lg biddies hahaha, i mean damnnn!
so im just like sitting there, in my own world and shit, and just have the biggest closed mouth smile on my face
this hot blondie lg sitting beside me approaches me like halfway through the bus ride, introduces herself with something like: “hey I just felt like I had to introduce myself to you, I’m ____”
lol, wtf
hahahaha
so I just continue with a huge smile on my face and i take her hand and shake it lightly, but linger with it while giving her strong eye contact, introduce myself
then i go back to smiling and thinking about the night, thinking about the drunk ass ppl around me and laughing about just how wonderful life can be sometimes…
life…
the hot blondie lg re-initiates me some time later, her friend comes to sit beside her, so i’m introduced to her as well, give her the same lingering handshake, strong eye contact, and closed mouth smile… I felt like I was being way too happy though hahaha! like I actually felt really happy and it showed… my smile was so big… hahaha!
so the hot blondie lg asks me if i remember her name, and obviously i don’t… hahaha! so i just decide to fuck with her and i pretend that I'm retarded and don’t know the alphabet
she starts tripping out and being like “really?”
she then proceeds to help me spell out her name… (don’t worry, I can’t remember it now)
hahaha i don’t even remember clearly what happened next, all i remember was that I had a large closed mouth smile and was doing facial expressions, putting hella social pressure on her, almost making shit awkward, but her friend was like “your full of shit! i can read you like a book!”
so i pretend to open up an imaginary book
i start acting retarded all of a sudden and then proceed to start spelling out the fucking alphabet (probs shouldn’t have done that)
and she’s like: “see! i’m right!”
anyways, it’s their stop, they’re going to a party, so the blondie lg compliments me on my pea coat, saying “fancyyy” or some shit, and then they all peace
i proceed on to the bar, and wait like 30 minutes in the freezing fucking cold just to fucking get in, but I did it, and I didn’t have to waste 10 bucks…
start walking around, doing shotgun approaches as usual, but not a lot as I often do… actually… I don’t even know…
all i remember was meeting eyes with Karissa (omg bomb bitty to the max this babe is gorgeous and i want her, bad), her smiling (I closed mouth smiled back and said her name… shouldn’t have said her name), and giving me a hug, I gave her a warm-welcoming hug, and wanted to lift her up like I did to her friend Courtney the other night (sooo bomb this Courtney girl btw omgggg she’s so fine and I want her), but I couldn’t/didn’t have the energy for it
she introduces me to her and friend, “this is Darreeeeen,” and then she proceeds to kiss me lightly on the cheeks, and says “Becky is here somewhere”
we both smile at each other while continuing to walk away
hahahaha Beckyyy… mhmhmhmhmhmhhmh bomb ass blondie babyyyyyyyyyyy
but sadly, she ain’t down for me
hahaahahahhahahahaa I approached this Becky girl at the bar one night and met all her bomb ass friends omgggggg they’re all sooooooo booooooooommmmmmmmbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb
and it’s funny how they all love me for cold approaching her
too bad I think they see me as just a friend or some chill energetic guy who goes out and meets people by himself… I’ve actually never had a long enough interaction with one of them where I actually got to know them
anyways, they added me on FB, and like Courtney is in a relationship, and if I ever had a chance to isolate and pull Karissa, I fucking would. Becky is out of the question. She gives me hella closed off and awkward body language and I can just tell she isn’t down for me
it’s funny, cause I’ve attempted to chased frame once to Courtney before: “you guys added me on fb (regarding her and Karissa)”
her: “yep, just couldn’t help it”
hahaha thanks for completing it for me.
it’s chill cause I see these girls everywhere, since I’m in a small ass town, there’s only one venue bumping each Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night
so it’s either a bar or club filled with hot university chicks
I sort of use these girls as like a re-energizing pad, it might sound sad, but like if I’m feeling down or tired from approaching, something as small as a kiss on the cheek can build me back up. Karissa has gone up to some girls that I was talking with and said that I am cool. I laugh and tell the girls that she’s crazy.
last weekend, Courtney and Becky (they were with their male escorts or whatever lol) saw me at the club, and I started doing some crazy teasing dance with Courtney one on one while everyone was in a circle watching, and then Courtney and Becky proceeded to grind on me for a bit hahahaha!
anyways, back to the night, the only other thing i remember was an interaction with fur coat blonde and her guy friend
i had saw them earlier in the line-up, but now inside, i remember doing facial expression and saying like: “eeyyyy” or some fucked up shit like that
and then i proceed to dance with them, and the chick is like soloing me out to dance with her, saying that I’m cool, so we start to do some dance or whatever, and i gotta learn to hold back from being too eager and touching chicks while dancing i’ve learned; teasing with distance is better, you want to make them the ones to initiate the contact
then she says it’s hot in here or something and asks if i want to go out for a smoke
i say yes and then she takes my hand, and “drags” me to get her coat
this sort of made me angry, i must admit, but it was sort of funny at the same time…
anyways, we’re outside, she asks me if i smoke, and i’m like no, and then she asks me what I do. and i’m fucking around, saying I that I do brunettes and asians.
and she sort of ignores this, and I ask her what she does and she tells me she’s a veterinarian assistant
she asks again what i do. like do I work? go to school?
I look away and say “go to schooool,” like it’s something really boring (it’s actually not: school is dope as fuck if you actually study something you’re passionate about, but it’s not something that I care to talk about regarding myself)
we proceed to sit down, and I comment that she must really love animals. she’s like “yeah, everyone says that. I have a cat, but I really want a dog.”
some other guy friend then comes up to us, and proceeds to cockblock me. she totally diverts her attention to him, and they start talking about some stupid shit like snowboarding
she finishes her smoke, and I try to re-engage her back by saying something like: “so what’s preventing you from snowboarding is your friends”
and she’s like “yeah,” but then we get back inside, and then she goes and starts hitting on some black dude she told me she thought was smokin’
so i was like ok, whatevs, like i didn’t really care, but i did at the same time, because like near the end of the night, i waited for her to walk out of the washroom like a creep because i wanted to ask her if she wanted to come home with me, but i pussied out, like i did walk past her, and she didn’t notice me, and that should’ve been my cue to leave, but I went up to her a bit later and nudged her, she said she was waiting for her friend and was gonna taxi home, and i wasn’t really feeling that she was feeling me since she wasn’t the one to go and find me so i just left it at that and then all of a sudden, someone re-initiates me and it turns out to be a motherfucking mom that i know from my spanish class!
mind you, she’s not a milf, she’s not remotely even close to hot, but it was just funny cause she was here! at a fucking rowdy ass bar on a friday night! and i’m like wtf are you doing here? don’t you have a child to take care of? and she’s like: “he’s 15, he can take care of himself.” hahaha! wtf? she then proceeds to take out a fucking pencil, and give it to me! it was funny because in spanish class one time, my lead pencil broke, and i was a bit choked. and like yesterday, I saw her and she told me that she would give me a free pencil if she had it in her bag, but it turns out she didn’t so tonight she gave me the pencil lol! hahaaha! nicest lady in the world! she then offers to buy me a drink, so i’m like, “ok, why not”. she buys me like 2 beers and a shot, and was gonna buy me another shot, but i was like “no bartender, please, no more lol”
I then tell her my bus leaves in like 10 minutes, so i need to gtfo. she’s like ok, and then stuffs my beer bottle into my jacket pocket, so I left the bar with a half-dranken beer lol! what a smart lady!
hop on the bus, and who do I see, but my drunk ass RA and his drunk ass friend (who also turns out to be an RA)
we share some laughs, and then after, I take out the beer bottle that I have in my pocket, and proceed to sip it, all the meanwhile, staring out the window at this small town of emptiness.
yeah, so that’s just one night out of a lot more nights. dunno why i decided to write about this one. just sort of did. I’ve had a lot on my mind recently, and it actually feels good to do this.
but yeah, this is what i’ve been doing since i’ve been here. i’ve sort of realized that you can’t really do day game here in this town; night game is the best option since your packing tons and tons of university chicks into one venue. since it’s such a small town, you’re always bumping into people you know as well, whether it be some guy you now from way back, or that girl you cold approached in school one time. i like how i can hop on the bus, immediately make some friends and start building up social momentum. get to the line-up and start chatting with people while waiting to get inside. get inside, grab a beer, do some approaches, dance and get pumped. everyone’s fucked and down to have a good time.
i now wish that i would’ve taken the time to write about each and every night so far… hahaha good times! so many memories, and so many more to come! night game is so much different from day game, and thus, so much more exciting! don’t get me wrong, day game is great (back home), but this is just new and refreshing. what stands out to me most is how much more aggressive you can be in night game: with the touching, the proximity, the verbals and non-verbals… everything really! more reference points to be gained! life is great! and I know it’s just a matter of time before it happens. just a matter of constantly improving my fundamentals. I know i keep saying it, but it’s the truth! you gotta drill the truth into your head!
I'm starting a new training routine in the new year, and i’m trying desperately to keep up with the eating part. got some pretty nice fitting dress shirts, a nice peacoat, a nice leather jacket, dope jeans, brown suede boots, black dress shoes, white converse, lol i’m just blabbing on and on now, but i gotta keep making my hair all crazy and shit and experimenting with the moulding puddy but i want to make it like spiky in the front, and the barber can do that but i dunno how so i should go there and ask. i have some moustache and goatee hair growing (however much i can get for an asian lol). gotta get more skincare products when i’m back home and i have pree solid eye contact now. like i just look at people’s nose bridge and never look away unless they look away first. never give eye contact if they’re not giving eye contact. and i’m getting more and more a feel for my facial expressions, i was never really a talker, so this allows me to work on my non-verbals. it’s all about your vibe with your facial expressions i feel. i still should like take pictures/videos of me making faces lol. got my walk down. should video tape myself and observe, but i think its pree good. like i defs got swagger from swaying my elbows. gotta remember to keep it light and subtle though; not too “try-hard” - my RA has teased me about my walk before lol. my voice might be something i will never “fix” (or care to fix). i’ve sort of accepted the fact that it is sort of high-pitched for a man. not what you would call low and “masculine.”
all in all, i gotta start caring less. sounds weird. but like tonight on the bus, i didn’t really care. i’m just down to have fun and learn. it doesn’t matter if i go home alone, all that matters is that I went out and gave it my all. i know it’s going to happen eventually, and now that I’ve been gaming for like a year and a half, i’ve sort of come to like an acceptance with reality. there’s no need to rush. you know you can approach. learn to sit back. focus on your fundamentals. do your own shit, and don’t come across as needy with your body language (e.g., pointing body, feet towards girl; checking her out). eventually, everything will fall into place.
it’s funny, back in the city, i was purely doing day game, but here it’s the complete opposite. at the beginning of the semester, I was doing day game on campus, but overtime, i’ve sort of toned it down. just don’t feel the same passion for it anymore. of course if I'm socially pumped, or the girl is giving me IOI’s (which doesn’t happen as much as I would like), or if she is just simply too bomb to pass up on, I’ll approach.
i’m tired of making my life based on women. at the same time, it’s an aspect of my life that brings me the most joy. like if I go like a few days without meeting a girl, i feel empty and depressed. i wish this was a lie (at the same time, this mindset has always been what made me self-motivated: I would just mentally destroy myself if I didn’t do something that I knew I should’ve done). i go to the gym, i got new clothes, i moved out of home, are all examples of decisions that women have had an influence on. not like they’re bad decisions or anything… I just gotta like not care about losing a girl, just see how far i can push things and learn from every situation. and i gotta find fulfillment in other aspects of my life. and i feel like i do. i love the gym, i love hockey, i love psychology, i love weed, i love friends, i love family, and i love women (it’s just that they’re not the most important).
i haven’t done this in so long… like writing… about girls…
wtf lol
im so baked i dont even care anymore
lol
so
go on the bus
as usual, sit beside the party ppl on the bus
some asian energetic drunk guy is like “heyyy maaaan!” cause i know him from somewhere somehow lol
so he’s with all these hot lg biddies hahaha, i mean damnnn!
so im just like sitting there, in my own world and shit, and just have the biggest closed mouth smile on my face
this hot blondie lg sitting beside me approaches me like halfway through the bus ride, introduces herself with something like: “hey I just felt like I had to introduce myself to you, I’m ____”
lol, wtf
hahahaha
so I just continue with a huge smile on my face and i take her hand and shake it lightly, but linger with it while giving her strong eye contact, introduce myself
then i go back to smiling and thinking about the night, thinking about the drunk ass ppl around me and laughing about just how wonderful life can be sometimes…
life…
the hot blondie lg re-initiates me some time later, her friend comes to sit beside her, so i’m introduced to her as well, give her the same lingering handshake, strong eye contact, and closed mouth smile… I felt like I was being way too happy though hahaha! like I actually felt really happy and it showed… my smile was so big… hahaha!
so the hot blondie lg asks me if i remember her name, and obviously i don’t… hahaha! so i just decide to fuck with her and i pretend that I'm retarded and don’t know the alphabet
she starts tripping out and being like “really?”
she then proceeds to help me spell out her name… (don’t worry, I can’t remember it now)
hahaha i don’t even remember clearly what happened next, all i remember was that I had a large closed mouth smile and was doing facial expressions, putting hella social pressure on her, almost making shit awkward, but her friend was like “your full of shit! i can read you like a book!”
so i pretend to open up an imaginary book
i start acting retarded all of a sudden and then proceed to start spelling out the fucking alphabet (probs shouldn’t have done that)
and she’s like: “see! i’m right!”
anyways, it’s their stop, they’re going to a party, so the blondie lg compliments me on my pea coat, saying “fancyyy” or some shit, and then they all peace
i proceed on to the bar, and wait like 30 minutes in the freezing fucking cold just to fucking get in, but I did it, and I didn’t have to waste 10 bucks…
start walking around, doing shotgun approaches as usual, but not a lot as I often do… actually… I don’t even know…
all i remember was meeting eyes with Karissa (omg bomb bitty to the max this babe is gorgeous and i want her, bad), her smiling (I closed mouth smiled back and said her name… shouldn’t have said her name), and giving me a hug, I gave her a warm-welcoming hug, and wanted to lift her up like I did to her friend Courtney the other night (sooo bomb this Courtney girl btw omgggg she’s so fine and I want her), but I couldn’t/didn’t have the energy for it
she introduces me to her and friend, “this is Darreeeeen,” and then she proceeds to kiss me lightly on the cheeks, and says “Becky is here somewhere”
we both smile at each other while continuing to walk away
hahahaha Beckyyy… mhmhmhmhmhmhhmh bomb ass blondie babyyyyyyyyyyy
but sadly, she ain’t down for me
hahaahahahhahahahaa I approached this Becky girl at the bar one night and met all her bomb ass friends omgggggg they’re all sooooooo booooooooommmmmmmmbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb
and it’s funny how they all love me for cold approaching her
too bad I think they see me as just a friend or some chill energetic guy who goes out and meets people by himself… I’ve actually never had a long enough interaction with one of them where I actually got to know them
anyways, they added me on FB, and like Courtney is in a relationship, and if I ever had a chance to isolate and pull Karissa, I fucking would. Becky is out of the question. She gives me hella closed off and awkward body language and I can just tell she isn’t down for me
it’s funny, cause I’ve attempted to chased frame once to Courtney before: “you guys added me on fb (regarding her and Karissa)”
her: “yep, just couldn’t help it
” hahaha thanks for completing it for me.
it’s chill cause I see these girls everywhere, since I’m in a small ass town, there’s only one venue bumping each Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night
so it’s either a bar or club filled with hot university chicks
I sort of use these girls as like a re-energizing pad, it might sound sad, but like if I’m feeling down or tired from approaching, something as small as a kiss on the cheek can build me back up. Karissa has gone up to some girls that I was talking with and said that I am cool. I laugh and tell the girls that she’s crazy.
last weekend, Courtney and Becky (they were with their male escorts or whatever lol) saw me at the club, and I started doing some crazy teasing dance with Courtney one on one while everyone was in a circle watching, and then Courtney and Becky proceeded to grind on me for a bit hahahaha!
anyways, back to the night, the only other thing i remember was an interaction with fur coat blonde and her guy friend
i had saw them earlier in the line-up, but now inside, i remember doing facial expression and saying like: “eeyyyy” or some fucked up shit like that
and then i proceed to dance with them, and the chick is like soloing me out to dance with her, saying that I’m cool, so we start to do some dance or whatever, and i gotta learn to hold back from being too eager and touching chicks while dancing i’ve learned; teasing with distance is better, you want to make them the ones to initiate the contact
then she says it’s hot in here or something and asks if i want to go out for a smoke
i say yes and then she takes my hand, and “drags” me to get her coat
this sort of made me angry, i must admit, but it was sort of funny at the same time…
anyways, we’re outside, she asks me if i smoke, and i’m like no, and then she asks me what I do. and i’m fucking around, saying I that I do brunettes and asians.
and she sort of ignores this, and I ask her what she does and she tells me she’s a veterinarian assistant
she asks again what i do. like do I work? go to school?
I look away and say “go to schooool,” like it’s something really boring (it’s actually not: school is dope as fuck if you actually study something you’re passionate about, but it’s not something that I care to talk about regarding myself)
we proceed to sit down, and I comment that she must really love animals. she’s like “yeah, everyone says that. I have a cat, but I really want a dog.”
some other guy friend then comes up to us, and proceeds to cockblock me. she totally diverts her attention to him, and they start talking about some stupid shit like snowboarding
she finishes her smoke, and I try to re-engage her back by saying something like: “so what’s preventing you from snowboarding is your friends”
and she’s like “yeah,” but then we get back inside, and then she goes and starts hitting on some black dude she told me she thought was smokin’
so i was like ok, whatevs, like i didn’t really care, but i did at the same time, because like near the end of the night, i waited for her to walk out of the washroom like a creep because i wanted to ask her if she wanted to come home with me, but i pussied out, like i did walk past her, and she didn’t notice me, and that should’ve been my cue to leave, but I went up to her a bit later and nudged her, she said she was waiting for her friend and was gonna taxi home, and i wasn’t really feeling that she was feeling me since she wasn’t the one to go and find me so i just left it at that and then all of a sudden, someone re-initiates me and it turns out to be a motherfucking mom that i know from my spanish class!
mind you, she’s not a milf, she’s not remotely even close to hot, but it was just funny cause she was here! at a fucking rowdy ass bar on a friday night! and i’m like wtf are you doing here? don’t you have a child to take care of? and she’s like: “he’s 15, he can take care of himself.” hahaha! wtf? she then proceeds to take out a fucking pencil, and give it to me! it was funny because in spanish class one time, my lead pencil broke, and i was a bit choked. and like yesterday, I saw her and she told me that she would give me a free pencil if she had it in her bag, but it turns out she didn’t so tonight she gave me the pencil lol! hahaaha! nicest lady in the world! she then offers to buy me a drink, so i’m like, “ok, why not”. she buys me like 2 beers and a shot, and was gonna buy me another shot, but i was like “no bartender, please, no more lol”
I then tell her my bus leaves in like 10 minutes, so i need to gtfo. she’s like ok, and then stuffs my beer bottle into my jacket pocket, so I left the bar with a half-dranken beer lol! what a smart lady!
hop on the bus, and who do I see, but my drunk ass RA and his drunk ass friend (who also turns out to be an RA)
we share some laughs, and then after, I take out the beer bottle that I have in my pocket, and proceed to sip it, all the meanwhile, staring out the window at this small town of emptiness.
yeah, so that’s just one night out of a lot more nights. dunno why i decided to write about this one. just sort of did. I’ve had a lot on my mind recently, and it actually feels good to do this.
but yeah, this is what i’ve been doing since i’ve been here. i’ve sort of realized that you can’t really do day game here in this town; night game is the best option since your packing tons and tons of university chicks into one venue. since it’s such a small town, you’re always bumping into people you know as well, whether it be some guy you now from way back, or that girl you cold approached in school one time. i like how i can hop on the bus, immediately make some friends and start building up social momentum. get to the line-up and start chatting with people while waiting to get inside. get inside, grab a beer, do some approaches, dance and get pumped. everyone’s fucked and down to have a good time.
i now wish that i would’ve taken the time to write about each and every night so far… hahaha good times! so many memories, and so many more to come! night game is so much different from day game, and thus, so much more exciting! don’t get me wrong, day game is great (back home), but this is just new and refreshing. what stands out to me most is how much more aggressive you can be in night game: with the touching, the proximity, the verbals and non-verbals… everything really! more reference points to be gained! life is great! and I know it’s just a matter of time before it happens. just a matter of constantly improving my fundamentals. I know i keep saying it, but it’s the truth! you gotta drill the truth into your head!
I'm starting a new training routine in the new year, and i’m trying desperately to keep up with the eating part. got some pretty nice fitting dress shirts, a nice peacoat, a nice leather jacket, dope jeans, brown suede boots, black dress shoes, white converse, lol i’m just blabbing on and on now, but i gotta keep making my hair all crazy and shit and experimenting with the moulding puddy but i want to make it like spiky in the front, and the barber can do that but i dunno how so i should go there and ask. i have some moustache and goatee hair growing (however much i can get for an asian lol). gotta get more skincare products when i’m back home and i have pree solid eye contact now. like i just look at people’s nose bridge and never look away unless they look away first. never give eye contact if they’re not giving eye contact. and i’m getting more and more a feel for my facial expressions, i was never really a talker, so this allows me to work on my non-verbals. it’s all about your vibe with your facial expressions i feel. i still should like take pictures/videos of me making faces lol. got my walk down. should video tape myself and observe, but i think its pree good. like i defs got swagger from swaying my elbows. gotta remember to keep it light and subtle though; not too “try-hard” - my RA has teased me about my walk before lol. my voice might be something i will never “fix” (or care to fix). i’ve sort of accepted the fact that it is sort of high-pitched for a man. not what you would call low and “masculine.”
all in all, i gotta start caring less. sounds weird. but like tonight on the bus, i didn’t really care. i’m just down to have fun and learn. it doesn’t matter if i go home alone, all that matters is that I went out and gave it my all. i know it’s going to happen eventually, and now that I’ve been gaming for like a year and a half, i’ve sort of come to like an acceptance with reality. there’s no need to rush. you know you can approach. learn to sit back. focus on your fundamentals. do your own shit, and don’t come across as needy with your body language (e.g., pointing body, feet towards girl; checking her out). eventually, everything will fall into place.
it’s funny, back in the city, i was purely doing day game, but here it’s the complete opposite. at the beginning of the semester, I was doing day game on campus, but overtime, i’ve sort of toned it down. just don’t feel the same passion for it anymore. of course if I'm socially pumped, or the girl is giving me IOI’s (which doesn’t happen as much as I would like), or if she is just simply too bomb to pass up on, I’ll approach.
i’m tired of making my life based on women. at the same time, it’s an aspect of my life that brings me the most joy. like if I go like a few days without meeting a girl, i feel empty and depressed. i wish this was a lie (at the same time, this mindset has always been what made me self-motivated: I would just mentally destroy myself if I didn’t do something that I knew I should’ve done). i go to the gym, i got new clothes, i moved out of home, are all examples of decisions that women have had an influence on. not like they’re bad decisions or anything… I just gotta like not care about losing a girl, just see how far i can push things and learn from every situation. and i gotta find fulfillment in other aspects of my life. and i feel like i do. i love the gym, i love hockey, i love psychology, i love weed, i love friends, i love family, and i love women (it’s just that they’re not the most important).
- Joined
- Aug 12, 2014
- Messages
- 1,982
I enjoyed the read, or rather the stream of consciousness
Couple of comments.
1. Fuck that woman from Spanish class, she loves you
2. Fix your voice fundamentals. If I can do it so can you. I used a voice teacher but have started teaching myself now. PM me.
3. Don't make PU your life, I did this when I first started approaching and it sucks, accept that some hot women will escape your clutches sometimes due to priorities. Make time for other interests, stop approaching temporarily if you need to.
(But keep up the good work).
Ray
Couple of comments.
1. Fuck that woman from Spanish class, she loves you
2. Fix your voice fundamentals. If I can do it so can you. I used a voice teacher but have started teaching myself now. PM me.
3. Don't make PU your life, I did this when I first started approaching and it sucks, accept that some hot women will escape your clutches sometimes due to priorities. Make time for other interests, stop approaching temporarily if you need to.
(But keep up the good work).
Ray
December 8
i went on a date today. first one since January and fourth of my life lol. i feel like such a loser typing this haha. i’m actually surprised how smooth everything went (up until the date… lol). so I approach this girl, and honestly, I used to write down each and every single line of the interaction, but I don’t have the energy to do that anymore. i didn’t even feel like writing this out cause I am a bit demoralized right now haha. I got a date though, so it’s all good. it’s funny however, since I was feeling way more confident before the date than after. so the interaction goes well, i really killed it with the compliment about her hair, how she’s naturally a brunette but it’s dyed red so i compliment how she added a fiery burst of passion to her hair. she agrees and says that she likes to switch it up every so often. i comment that she is a girl who likes to keep things fresh and exciting. find out she’s about to meet her prof for chemistry. we toss on some sarcastic, boring facial expressions accompanied with some depressing sighs lol. i ask her why she’s in science and it’s mostly because of her parents. she asks me what i’m in, and what i plan to do with my life. i was like: “i want to be an astronaut and find pluto… you know, have my own flag and everything so when i land, i can go and plant it. i then turned it back onto her: i was like “what, so you were that little kid who always listened to what her mommy and daddy told her” *playful shove*. she laughs and says not alwaaays. “yeah… i bet you had your stages of rebellion.” she smiles and says “yep” and i’m like: “ooo la la”. she laughs. anyways, high point here, so i tell her we should grab a coffee after she meets her prof. she agrees, so I take down her number and meet her later. she’s sitting at starbucks on her computer when I see her so I go ahead and grab a seat right next to her.
we continue our conversation that we had before, about how she’s in sciences mostly because of her parents. i find out her true passion is in history though, she starts saying how she can tell me anything about WWI or WWII, so I spend some time trying to convince her that she should just drop all her science courses and do just history. she says she can’t because of her parents, she wants to make them happy. and i tell her that her parents would be happy if she’s happy and doing what she truly wants. she says that’s true, but…. (damn… there’s always that but). fuck man. this chick seems whipped by her parents or something yo. i try and dig deeper, saying something like “damn… seems like your parents must have done lots for you”. she’s like yeah, blah blah blah. i’m like: “they even let you run away!” she laughs and somehow she starts talking about her grandfather, how he was a huge influence in her life and how he had all these WWII books with all his own notes in them. i tease her and i’m like “so when you were little, instead of reading you winnie the pooh, he would read you stories about WWII.” she laughs and is like: “haha nooo”. anyways, she goes on to tell me about what a sad year that was, the year that her grandfather died, because like everyone died that year. in my head i was like omg omg omg, cut thread, cut thread. i dunno… what else did we talk about? oh yeah, the small town she ran away from. i was like: “what, you didn’t like it cause it was hard to meet boys there?” lol… i’m just writing everything down right now. all of this happened, but probably not in the exact same order as i’m writing it in. honestly, she was just telling me about how she didn’t really have a life right now; it was a total train wreck (i totally missed this opportunity to proceed in the conversation by asking about her hobbies; what she would do if she had a life). damn, this girl is fucking hot and she doesn’t even enjoy her life…. damn…. it sort of makes me happy for what i have. i mean, i’m so proud of how far i’ve come in my life, how my goals and priorities are so clear to me, and even though i’m a virgin still, it doesn’t really bother me anymore (i used to be depressed about this). i know i’m trying, and that’s all that matters. i just gotta try smarter, not necessarily harder. anyways, I did a lot of joking around, trying to keep the convo light, talking about all the things we would and should do, and saying shit like “hey, we can always run off together, you know, go into my lil rocket ship that i have in the making, and totally blast off into space. leave all of our problems behind.” she’s like: “or i could always be a firefighter” and i led this to a chase frame about how i hope she isn’t going to purposely set my house on fire just so that she can come save me. “you know… get a ladder and put it at the side of my house, climb up to my bedroom window and use your fire axe to smash it. wrap me up in blankets and take me away. damn, god knows what you’ll do to me after… i don’t even want to know”. haha, yeah, i was just trying to have fun. no filter, no filter, no filter. anyways, her vibe was weaaaaaakkkk, and i was mad teasing her about how i wanted to get a de-stress machine and put it on her head (i like placed my hand on her head and lightly shook it for emphasis). “damn, i can just feel the tension emitting from your body”. she was giving me like zero eye-contact throughout, and was occasionally texting on her phone. in an effort to spice things up, I got up and was like: “okay, we’re going on an adventure.” she was like: “haha, where?” but proceeded to pack up her stuff. i started walking towards my place, but i just felt so awkward, i couldn’t lead her inside, so we just walked past my place. honestly, the interaction was at a low-time low, and I just wasn't feeling it. anyways, her cousin calls her and turns out he got into a car accident, so she had to run. honestly, i don’t know how to feel about this. i guess i was sort of disappointed but relieved at the same time. yeah, so not the best date ever, but always a good learning experience. i think i did well with most things: the deep diving, teasing, chase framing. could’ve definitely touched her more, but not many opportunities presented itself for that. maybe could’ve touched her on her elbow when i was saying some things. overall, the vibe was just not there.
i went on a date today. first one since January and fourth of my life lol. i feel like such a loser typing this haha. i’m actually surprised how smooth everything went (up until the date… lol). so I approach this girl, and honestly, I used to write down each and every single line of the interaction, but I don’t have the energy to do that anymore. i didn’t even feel like writing this out cause I am a bit demoralized right now haha. I got a date though, so it’s all good. it’s funny however, since I was feeling way more confident before the date than after. so the interaction goes well, i really killed it with the compliment about her hair, how she’s naturally a brunette but it’s dyed red so i compliment how she added a fiery burst of passion to her hair. she agrees and says that she likes to switch it up every so often. i comment that she is a girl who likes to keep things fresh and exciting. find out she’s about to meet her prof for chemistry. we toss on some sarcastic, boring facial expressions accompanied with some depressing sighs lol. i ask her why she’s in science and it’s mostly because of her parents. she asks me what i’m in, and what i plan to do with my life. i was like: “i want to be an astronaut and find pluto… you know, have my own flag and everything so when i land, i can go and plant it. i then turned it back onto her: i was like “what, so you were that little kid who always listened to what her mommy and daddy told her” *playful shove*. she laughs and says not alwaaays. “yeah… i bet you had your stages of rebellion.” she smiles and says “yep” and i’m like: “ooo la la”. she laughs. anyways, high point here, so i tell her we should grab a coffee after she meets her prof. she agrees, so I take down her number and meet her later. she’s sitting at starbucks on her computer when I see her so I go ahead and grab a seat right next to her.
we continue our conversation that we had before, about how she’s in sciences mostly because of her parents. i find out her true passion is in history though, she starts saying how she can tell me anything about WWI or WWII, so I spend some time trying to convince her that she should just drop all her science courses and do just history. she says she can’t because of her parents, she wants to make them happy. and i tell her that her parents would be happy if she’s happy and doing what she truly wants. she says that’s true, but…. (damn… there’s always that but). fuck man. this chick seems whipped by her parents or something yo. i try and dig deeper, saying something like “damn… seems like your parents must have done lots for you”. she’s like yeah, blah blah blah. i’m like: “they even let you run away!” she laughs and somehow she starts talking about her grandfather, how he was a huge influence in her life and how he had all these WWII books with all his own notes in them. i tease her and i’m like “so when you were little, instead of reading you winnie the pooh, he would read you stories about WWII.” she laughs and is like: “haha nooo”. anyways, she goes on to tell me about what a sad year that was, the year that her grandfather died, because like everyone died that year. in my head i was like omg omg omg, cut thread, cut thread. i dunno… what else did we talk about? oh yeah, the small town she ran away from. i was like: “what, you didn’t like it cause it was hard to meet boys there?” lol… i’m just writing everything down right now. all of this happened, but probably not in the exact same order as i’m writing it in. honestly, she was just telling me about how she didn’t really have a life right now; it was a total train wreck (i totally missed this opportunity to proceed in the conversation by asking about her hobbies; what she would do if she had a life). damn, this girl is fucking hot and she doesn’t even enjoy her life…. damn…. it sort of makes me happy for what i have. i mean, i’m so proud of how far i’ve come in my life, how my goals and priorities are so clear to me, and even though i’m a virgin still, it doesn’t really bother me anymore (i used to be depressed about this). i know i’m trying, and that’s all that matters. i just gotta try smarter, not necessarily harder. anyways, I did a lot of joking around, trying to keep the convo light, talking about all the things we would and should do, and saying shit like “hey, we can always run off together, you know, go into my lil rocket ship that i have in the making, and totally blast off into space. leave all of our problems behind.” she’s like: “or i could always be a firefighter” and i led this to a chase frame about how i hope she isn’t going to purposely set my house on fire just so that she can come save me. “you know… get a ladder and put it at the side of my house, climb up to my bedroom window and use your fire axe to smash it. wrap me up in blankets and take me away. damn, god knows what you’ll do to me after… i don’t even want to know”. haha, yeah, i was just trying to have fun. no filter, no filter, no filter. anyways, her vibe was weaaaaaakkkk, and i was mad teasing her about how i wanted to get a de-stress machine and put it on her head (i like placed my hand on her head and lightly shook it for emphasis). “damn, i can just feel the tension emitting from your body”. she was giving me like zero eye-contact throughout, and was occasionally texting on her phone. in an effort to spice things up, I got up and was like: “okay, we’re going on an adventure.” she was like: “haha, where?” but proceeded to pack up her stuff. i started walking towards my place, but i just felt so awkward, i couldn’t lead her inside, so we just walked past my place. honestly, the interaction was at a low-time low, and I just wasn't feeling it. anyways, her cousin calls her and turns out he got into a car accident, so she had to run. honestly, i don’t know how to feel about this. i guess i was sort of disappointed but relieved at the same time. yeah, so not the best date ever, but always a good learning experience. i think i did well with most things: the deep diving, teasing, chase framing. could’ve definitely touched her more, but not many opportunities presented itself for that. maybe could’ve touched her on her elbow when i was saying some things. overall, the vibe was just not there.
December 17
Just fucking pooked it. Always be pookin it. Anyways, I walk into starbucks after just freshly smoking a joint. Doing my daily routine of ordering a white chocolate mocha. Mmmmmm. Baaaakeeeeddd. Notice cute girl who just ordered. Should've ignored her. I order. Go to wait. Stand against a pillar. This girl is walking back and forth in a straight line.
Me: "You know, your coffee is going to come eventually."
Her: "Hahaha! I know. I'm just sooo excited! I'm finally done all my classes and I'm leaving today!"
Me: "Your like jumping up and down the walls. Mentally and physically."
Her: "Hahaha, and I haven't been home since August! Going to see all my friends and familyyy."
Me: "I wouldn't be surprised if a hole just opened up in the ceiling, and you just went out it"
Her: "Hahaha, what's your name?"
Introductions. Shake hands.
Me: "You finished your last exam?"
Her: "Yea, just now!"
Me: "Cool, whens your flight, or bus, or whatever?"
Her: "It sucks... it's at like 6:30 and there's like a crossover/delay" (whatever you call it)
Me: "Oh, so you have some time before? We should totally grab a coffee... and sit down."
Her: "Yeah, well I have to pack and I might grab lunch with my friend later, don't know what's going on with her"
Ok. So here I really wanted to say something like: "weeellll, I can help youuu pack" while giving sexy eye contact.
But instead, I like socially conditioned myself lol. I was scared that I would be taken as creepy or too direct. I was also stoned and emotionally not there (there's good and bad to this lol, weed makes me like less reactive, thus, more smooth, but as a result, it's like I'm devoid of any feelings). So I said...
Me: "Oh. Well if you have some time before your flight, we should totally meet up"
Her: "Yeah! For sure!"
Me: "Cool, I'll just take down your number."
Her: "Sure."
I take out my phone, ask her how to spell her name. She says she'll do it and takes my phone. I chase frame: "if your that enthusiastic about it". She sort of fake laughs. I realize I haven't gone direct yet, so I compliment her scarf and lightly examine it by touching it (should've told her I like the blue and pink about it).
She puts her number in. Her coffee arrives. She gets it and says: "Nice meeting you. See you later"
I smile.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck:
I should've persisted more. I'm so retarded sometimes. I always go for the number pull when the tensions too high as a way to eject myself from the situation. It's like a short-term win, cause you feel good about getting the number, but a long-term loss because there's a higher percentage of flake involved. Like I just texted her, and it turned out to be a fake number.
Anyways, fuck it. No point in getting upset. Take everything as a learning experience and move on. I'm going home tomorrow too. About to write my last exam, and it's going to get raped.
Just fucking pooked it. Always be pookin it. Anyways, I walk into starbucks after just freshly smoking a joint. Doing my daily routine of ordering a white chocolate mocha. Mmmmmm. Baaaakeeeeddd. Notice cute girl who just ordered. Should've ignored her. I order. Go to wait. Stand against a pillar. This girl is walking back and forth in a straight line.
Me: "You know, your coffee is going to come eventually."
Her: "Hahaha! I know. I'm just sooo excited! I'm finally done all my classes and I'm leaving today!"
Me: "Your like jumping up and down the walls. Mentally and physically."
Her: "Hahaha, and I haven't been home since August! Going to see all my friends and familyyy."
Me: "I wouldn't be surprised if a hole just opened up in the ceiling, and you just went out it"
Her: "Hahaha, what's your name?"
Introductions. Shake hands.
Me: "You finished your last exam?"
Her: "Yea, just now!"
Me: "Cool, whens your flight, or bus, or whatever?"
Her: "It sucks... it's at like 6:30 and there's like a crossover/delay" (whatever you call it)
Me: "Oh, so you have some time before? We should totally grab a coffee... and sit down."
Her: "Yeah, well I have to pack and I might grab lunch with my friend later, don't know what's going on with her"
Ok. So here I really wanted to say something like: "weeellll, I can help youuu pack" while giving sexy eye contact.
But instead, I like socially conditioned myself lol. I was scared that I would be taken as creepy or too direct. I was also stoned and emotionally not there (there's good and bad to this lol, weed makes me like less reactive, thus, more smooth, but as a result, it's like I'm devoid of any feelings). So I said...
Me: "Oh. Well if you have some time before your flight, we should totally meet up"
Her: "Yeah! For sure!"
Me: "Cool, I'll just take down your number."
Her: "Sure."
I take out my phone, ask her how to spell her name. She says she'll do it and takes my phone. I chase frame: "if your that enthusiastic about it". She sort of fake laughs. I realize I haven't gone direct yet, so I compliment her scarf and lightly examine it by touching it (should've told her I like the blue and pink about it).
She puts her number in. Her coffee arrives. She gets it and says: "Nice meeting you. See you later"
I smile.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck:
I should've persisted more. I'm so retarded sometimes. I always go for the number pull when the tensions too high as a way to eject myself from the situation. It's like a short-term win, cause you feel good about getting the number, but a long-term loss because there's a higher percentage of flake involved. Like I just texted her, and it turned out to be a fake number.
Anyways, fuck it. No point in getting upset. Take everything as a learning experience and move on. I'm going home tomorrow too. About to write my last exam, and it's going to get raped.
Wow… it’s been awhile.
I dunno man.
I just don’t know anymore.
So many thoughts, I can’t hold them in anymore.
Everyday I contemplate quitting.
Just packing everything up and retreating into my house… becoming a hermit for the rest of my life.
Just give up. Give up on life.
But I know I’m not going to.
I’m going to keep struggling till I make it.
And when I do, I’m going to keep on struggling.
It feels like I’ve been through hell and back.
Life I’ve been put into a pencil sharpener and grinded up over and over again. Skinned and skinned till I’m nothing more than a pile of dust.
I’ve been through mountains, swamps, and lakes.
I walked through that shit bare-foot.
Man… when I feel down,
I try to think about how far I’ve come.
But I know there’s more.
The path of darkness goes on.
Hopefully, at the end, there is light.
Earlier, I thought I could see it. And I still can. But it almost seems to be getting smaller and smaller.
Why can’t I just get there faster?
I’m scared.
I’m alone.
I try to embrace it.
But it’s hard.
Life is hard.
It’s a struggle.
But I gotta keep pushing on.
I’ve already gotten so far.
And I haven’t given up.
And I’m not going to.
Keep. Pushing. On.
I dunno man.
I just don’t know anymore.
So many thoughts, I can’t hold them in anymore.
Everyday I contemplate quitting.
Just packing everything up and retreating into my house… becoming a hermit for the rest of my life.
Just give up. Give up on life.
But I know I’m not going to.
I’m going to keep struggling till I make it.
And when I do, I’m going to keep on struggling.
It feels like I’ve been through hell and back.
Life I’ve been put into a pencil sharpener and grinded up over and over again. Skinned and skinned till I’m nothing more than a pile of dust.
I’ve been through mountains, swamps, and lakes.
I walked through that shit bare-foot.
Man… when I feel down,
I try to think about how far I’ve come.
But I know there’s more.
The path of darkness goes on.
Hopefully, at the end, there is light.
Earlier, I thought I could see it. And I still can. But it almost seems to be getting smaller and smaller.
Why can’t I just get there faster?
I’m scared.
I’m alone.
I try to embrace it.
But it’s hard.
Life is hard.
It’s a struggle.
But I gotta keep pushing on.
I’ve already gotten so far.
And I haven’t given up.
And I’m not going to.
Keep. Pushing. On.
Thanks for the words of encouragement guys. Hard to think that I am an inspiration in the department of seducing women... (but one day)!
I've been trying to go out pretty consistently every weekend since university started. Just got back from a wild house party actually. I'm finding night game hard as fuck. Some nights I can't even make it past the opener. I'll open, and then girls will just shut down their body language. It drives me crazy. I look around and hot girls get so much attention its fucking nuts. Makes me think about how I've been too much of a nice guy (my entire life actually), and how I need to be more asshole-ish (Hector's recent article on arrogance definitely shone some light onto that subject). Guys (me) focus so much on pulling, they never realize they should do some pushing (Chase has an article on push-pull). That's why most of them are "nice:" they're scared to lose the girl, so they never do anything that might risk getting them blown out. I know I just gotta not give a fuck. Push my boundaries and say ridiculous things that might get me rejected. Like tonight, a hot chick was wearing a baseball hat, so I took it off her head, and put it on mine. She immediately got angry, took it back, and then proceeded to hit me with it. Lol. See, I'm still learning to properly calibrate my ass-hole-ness. With time it will come, with time...
I've been trying to go out pretty consistently every weekend since university started. Just got back from a wild house party actually. I'm finding night game hard as fuck. Some nights I can't even make it past the opener. I'll open, and then girls will just shut down their body language. It drives me crazy. I look around and hot girls get so much attention its fucking nuts. Makes me think about how I've been too much of a nice guy (my entire life actually), and how I need to be more asshole-ish (Hector's recent article on arrogance definitely shone some light onto that subject). Guys (me) focus so much on pulling, they never realize they should do some pushing (Chase has an article on push-pull). That's why most of them are "nice:" they're scared to lose the girl, so they never do anything that might risk getting them blown out. I know I just gotta not give a fuck. Push my boundaries and say ridiculous things that might get me rejected. Like tonight, a hot chick was wearing a baseball hat, so I took it off her head, and put it on mine. She immediately got angry, took it back, and then proceeded to hit me with it. Lol. See, I'm still learning to properly calibrate my ass-hole-ness. With time it will come, with time...
The thought of rejection is 10000000000000x better than the thought of not going out.
You have to let the disappointment of not going out overcome and overpower the disappointment of rejection.
Hey guys, since I haven’t had the time or the energy to write field reports of each and every outing during university, I’m just going to talk about the various mindsets that I went through as I proceeded through the first year.
It was certainly a year full of ups and downs. I felt like I had bipolar disorder, but I know I only get depressed when I don’t socialize (even though I hate socializing, I only socialize because I like the positive effects that it brings to me).
I continuously cycled through missing home and not missing home. In fact, I went through a period of extreme productivity, where my life goals (school, gym, women) became so clear that I felt a deep sense of satisfaction. I realized at this point, that I never wanted to go back home. I loved living alone and shredding life. I didn’t need friends. I didn’t need family. But whenever I went back to visit, I realized everything that I didn’t have when I was alone.
When I’m home, I’m happy with everything that I have, and unhappy with everything that I don’t have. Same goes for when I’m living away from home. I feel like I will always be unsatisfied (unless I make enough money to study abroad in a big city, but even when that happens, I will probably find something else to whine about). This feeling of want. Buddah talks about it, RSD Tyler talks about it. We never stop wanting. The truth lies in balance. Be happy with what you have, but don’t let this stop you from attempting to achieve your goals. As long as you are making goals and abiding by them, be happy and respect that “you are already awesome, you are just on your way to becoming even more awesome” (RSD Tyler)
I sometimes wish that my journey could be accelerated. I was always a slow learner, and this has plagued me throughout my life. I’ve always needed more explanation to understand something, more time to write tests. I’ve been trying to get jacked for three years, trying to get laid for two. Sometimes I feel like a failure at life. But I know I just gotta keep working, keep pushing on. Funny thing is that I’ve never felt like I’ve had a learning disability. I mean, I looked at the symptoms of my disability, and it does sound a lot like me, but I’m definitely not a retard or anything.
At about the middle of the second semester, I became really burnt out. Whereas before, my life goals were energizing me, now they were deteriorating me. I was sick of spending hours in the gym and sick of spending nights under the glow of my lamp. Most of all, I was sick of rejection. My heart literally felt like it had been torn in two. My confidence was crushed, and I confined myself to my room, where I spent hours and hours studying and smoking weed. I felt like I had pushed myself to my limits and that there was nothing left but a brick wall. I just couldn’t do it anymore. However, in the midst of all this darkness, I told myself this: “I will rise again, stronger than ever”.
And I did. After three weeks of feeling sorry for myself, I said “enough is enough.” So I went out, and got rejected over and over again. And you know what? It felt great. It felt so fucking great. Nothing is better than being told that you aren’t shit…that you are nothing but a worthless fuck.
And so this is where I am now. I am stone cold yo. No homework assignment can stress me, no workout can scare me, and no girl can hurt me.
University has made me strong as fuck. With a little more than a month left, it doesn’t matter what happens anymore. If I get laid, hell, that’s cool. If I don’t, well, that sucks. All I know is that in the end, I’m not going to look back and have regrets.
You have to let the disappointment of not going out overcome and overpower the disappointment of rejection.
Hey guys, since I haven’t had the time or the energy to write field reports of each and every outing during university, I’m just going to talk about the various mindsets that I went through as I proceeded through the first year.
It was certainly a year full of ups and downs. I felt like I had bipolar disorder, but I know I only get depressed when I don’t socialize (even though I hate socializing, I only socialize because I like the positive effects that it brings to me).
I continuously cycled through missing home and not missing home. In fact, I went through a period of extreme productivity, where my life goals (school, gym, women) became so clear that I felt a deep sense of satisfaction. I realized at this point, that I never wanted to go back home. I loved living alone and shredding life. I didn’t need friends. I didn’t need family. But whenever I went back to visit, I realized everything that I didn’t have when I was alone.
When I’m home, I’m happy with everything that I have, and unhappy with everything that I don’t have. Same goes for when I’m living away from home. I feel like I will always be unsatisfied (unless I make enough money to study abroad in a big city, but even when that happens, I will probably find something else to whine about). This feeling of want. Buddah talks about it, RSD Tyler talks about it. We never stop wanting. The truth lies in balance. Be happy with what you have, but don’t let this stop you from attempting to achieve your goals. As long as you are making goals and abiding by them, be happy and respect that “you are already awesome, you are just on your way to becoming even more awesome” (RSD Tyler)
I sometimes wish that my journey could be accelerated. I was always a slow learner, and this has plagued me throughout my life. I’ve always needed more explanation to understand something, more time to write tests. I’ve been trying to get jacked for three years, trying to get laid for two. Sometimes I feel like a failure at life. But I know I just gotta keep working, keep pushing on. Funny thing is that I’ve never felt like I’ve had a learning disability. I mean, I looked at the symptoms of my disability, and it does sound a lot like me, but I’m definitely not a retard or anything.
At about the middle of the second semester, I became really burnt out. Whereas before, my life goals were energizing me, now they were deteriorating me. I was sick of spending hours in the gym and sick of spending nights under the glow of my lamp. Most of all, I was sick of rejection. My heart literally felt like it had been torn in two. My confidence was crushed, and I confined myself to my room, where I spent hours and hours studying and smoking weed. I felt like I had pushed myself to my limits and that there was nothing left but a brick wall. I just couldn’t do it anymore. However, in the midst of all this darkness, I told myself this: “I will rise again, stronger than ever”.
And I did. After three weeks of feeling sorry for myself, I said “enough is enough.” So I went out, and got rejected over and over again. And you know what? It felt great. It felt so fucking great. Nothing is better than being told that you aren’t shit…that you are nothing but a worthless fuck.
And so this is where I am now. I am stone cold yo. No homework assignment can stress me, no workout can scare me, and no girl can hurt me.
University has made me strong as fuck. With a little more than a month left, it doesn’t matter what happens anymore. If I get laid, hell, that’s cool. If I don’t, well, that sucks. All I know is that in the end, I’m not going to look back and have regrets.
- Joined
- Aug 12, 2014
- Messages
- 1,982
I also take a long time to master stuff that comes naturally to others. It's like I have to consciously learn every little step. With result that after following GC for 9mth and religiously putting it all into practice (clothes... jewellery... cologne... gym... eye contact discipline... conversation... deep dive... sexual flirting... sexual vibe... texting and phone game... pulling... removing filters / limiting beliefs... etc etc)... I feel I am much improved but still cannot get any sort of consistent results... maybe cos its difficult, anyway take heart, it is not just you! Just keep plugging away brother, do more approaches... and maybe put the weed away, I am sure it is hurting you. No way I'd be where I am if I was still smoking weed every day as I did from age 19 to 30 approx...
Ray
Ray
- Joined
- Jan 15, 2013
- Messages
- 467
Hey D,
Hopefully you're out there lurking instead of giving up. If you read this, please tell me you've started approaching Asian chicks. Everyday I see hot Asian chicks with guys that look very similar to you. I know you don't find them attractive, but you will get laid and rack up a ton of positive reference points by changing your target market.
After you've built a killer physique, start hitting on the all the white chicks that you like. The results will be night and day.
Hopefully you're out there lurking instead of giving up. If you read this, please tell me you've started approaching Asian chicks. Everyday I see hot Asian chicks with guys that look very similar to you. I know you don't find them attractive, but you will get laid and rack up a ton of positive reference points by changing your target market.
After you've built a killer physique, start hitting on the all the white chicks that you like. The results will be night and day.
Hey Problem Solving,
I just sent you a PM, but gonna post it here as well, as I like keeping track of all my thoughts and it really reflects what I've been overall feeling:
Thanks for reaching out to me, I know it's been awhile. Honestly, I've been going through a lot of ups and downs recently. After those 8 months of living alone, attending university, and trying hard but failing miserably with the women there, I moved back home for awhile (May-December). After spending a lot of time not doing much, I realized I needed to get back into game, consistently. What I felt that I needed the most though, was a change of scenery. So I got accepted on a student exchange program, and in the new year, I moved to California. I'm in Santa Barbara now, and everyday that I go out, I see cute blonde chicks everywhere I go (haha yeah, sorry Problem Solving, I just love white chicks so much that I just had to move into heaven - I couldn't bring myself to approach all those asian girls in Vancouver... like I want to date girls that I genuinely think are pretty, and I don't know what it is about my own kind, I just don't dig their looks... it's like I've been reprogrammed by Western society to view all asian girls as the shy, nerdy types who are fresh off the boat and don't know how to socialize). Honestly, I live in a true college town now and I am so happy to be here. But man, game is hard, and I am struggling. I'm trying really hard to push myself out here and change, this time permanently. I'm tired of going through period of lots of approaching and then periods of shrinking back and being depressed. It's really hurting my progress. But I get tired, and a lot of the times i just want to give up. But I know that I can't man. I can't. And I won't. It's just so painful sometimes. Sometimes I have fun... when i have good interactions, I feel good. But today, I went out, and I got rejected a lot. And it hurts right now man. I'm trying to stay positive. But what hurts the most is that I actually went on a date with a really hot blonde girl on Tuesday. And I fucked it up. I'm in the midst of writing a FR right now. And it's a FR on all the good interactions i've had since i arrived here. But I'm really sad about this girl, because I fucked up. I had a good approach, but always on the dates, I get so nervous, and I always fuck them up. I know its cause i've only been on 5 dates in my life, and i need more experience, but man, she was sooo hot, I don't even know how I got her on a date with me. Like I'll post the FR, and I killed it on the approach, but dates, i just turn into a complete pussy. Man, she was so hot, she was like a solid 9 and she was 21 years old (same as me), intelligent, hardworking and done with partying. She was everything I wanted, but I knew that I wasn't good enough for her. Because if I did think that, I would be lying to myself. Man, I'm fucking 21 and the furthest i'v ever gone is making out with a girl, sort of sad, but i try not to let it affect me, cause i know i put in the work, and i know that if i keep plugging away, i will succeed... it's just so goddamn painful and hard sometimes, and i try to stay positive but fuck... i feel good letting all this out... I PM'd you my new California #, so hopefully we can re-connect and talk more!
I just sent you a PM, but gonna post it here as well, as I like keeping track of all my thoughts and it really reflects what I've been overall feeling:
Thanks for reaching out to me, I know it's been awhile. Honestly, I've been going through a lot of ups and downs recently. After those 8 months of living alone, attending university, and trying hard but failing miserably with the women there, I moved back home for awhile (May-December). After spending a lot of time not doing much, I realized I needed to get back into game, consistently. What I felt that I needed the most though, was a change of scenery. So I got accepted on a student exchange program, and in the new year, I moved to California. I'm in Santa Barbara now, and everyday that I go out, I see cute blonde chicks everywhere I go (haha yeah, sorry Problem Solving, I just love white chicks so much that I just had to move into heaven - I couldn't bring myself to approach all those asian girls in Vancouver... like I want to date girls that I genuinely think are pretty, and I don't know what it is about my own kind, I just don't dig their looks... it's like I've been reprogrammed by Western society to view all asian girls as the shy, nerdy types who are fresh off the boat and don't know how to socialize). Honestly, I live in a true college town now and I am so happy to be here. But man, game is hard, and I am struggling. I'm trying really hard to push myself out here and change, this time permanently. I'm tired of going through period of lots of approaching and then periods of shrinking back and being depressed. It's really hurting my progress. But I get tired, and a lot of the times i just want to give up. But I know that I can't man. I can't. And I won't. It's just so painful sometimes. Sometimes I have fun... when i have good interactions, I feel good. But today, I went out, and I got rejected a lot. And it hurts right now man. I'm trying to stay positive. But what hurts the most is that I actually went on a date with a really hot blonde girl on Tuesday. And I fucked it up. I'm in the midst of writing a FR right now. And it's a FR on all the good interactions i've had since i arrived here. But I'm really sad about this girl, because I fucked up. I had a good approach, but always on the dates, I get so nervous, and I always fuck them up. I know its cause i've only been on 5 dates in my life, and i need more experience, but man, she was sooo hot, I don't even know how I got her on a date with me. Like I'll post the FR, and I killed it on the approach, but dates, i just turn into a complete pussy. Man, she was so hot, she was like a solid 9 and she was 21 years old (same as me), intelligent, hardworking and done with partying. She was everything I wanted, but I knew that I wasn't good enough for her. Because if I did think that, I would be lying to myself. Man, I'm fucking 21 and the furthest i'v ever gone is making out with a girl, sort of sad, but i try not to let it affect me, cause i know i put in the work, and i know that if i keep plugging away, i will succeed... it's just so goddamn painful and hard sometimes, and i try to stay positive but fuck... i feel good letting all this out... I PM'd you my new California #, so hopefully we can re-connect and talk more!
ok guys, here it is... my 18-page FR lol:
ucsb has been sick so far
school right by the beach, perfect weather
hot blonde californian babes walking around each and every day
consistently rated as one of the top party schools in the nation
everyone lives in isla vista, a small community beside the school consisting of only college students… perfect logistics, perfect college town, perfect life
i been doing both day and night game
will go out night an average of 3x a week (either downtown to bars and clubs or hitting up random parties on del playa drive and around iv in general)
try to do at least a handful of day game approaches each day
been waking up late though, so I'm missing out on a lot of day game which I'm pissed about… gotta fix my sleep schedule and get those high class biddies walking around campus… mmmm so fucking sexy
i fucking love day game so much more than night game too… i fucking suck at night game lol (most of the time, can't even get girls to hook)… i think its cause it requires you to be aggressive and dominant, and i feel so pussy and intimidated going out at night sometimes, whereas in the day time, i can be nervous as well, but i am so much more comfortable doing it (the more warmed up i get, the better obviously)
overall, just trying to be a generally positive and social person, i know now that beoming better at socializing involves talking to everyone, not just the pretty girls
dont judge, don't discriminate, cause then you putting those hot biddies on pedestals
i’ve been trying hard to put myself out there. like talk to everyone when i go out. not just the pretty girls, but the guys and the not-so pretty girls too. it’s hard, but i’m trying, and it’s fucking painful, but i know i gotta push my comfort zones, i gotta
January 15
1. Megan from the party
so i’m walking around del playa, looking for parties
no parties were absolutely bumping yet, so i see this chill looking party and greet the guys at the door like i know them lol
one of them is like “who do you know here?”
i’m like “uhh, owen lane” (hahahaha some bullshit name i made up)
he’s like “owen?”
i’m like “yeah, i’m gonna go look for him” hahaha and then just proceed up the stairs to the party
i see one girl i like. she was the hottest one at the party, and the only one i really digged.
she was brunette with a cute face and leather jacket
she was talking to some (pretty alpha looking guy), and honestly, i am such a pussy when it comes to approaching chicks with guys cause i always automatically assume they are together, but i guess it is just my head making excuses not to approach
so i just decide to say hi to them and ask them how their nights are going
introduce myself to both of them, and the chick starts asking me questions, so i start talking to her, and eventually the guy is smart and leaves
so we just doing basic introductory talk, finding where we are from and shit
i tell her that im from canada and that im here on exchange
she tells me about her exchange in france (i chase framed something about her meeting lots of french guys, and its at this point that she mentions 'no' cause she has a bf)
she’s like speaking french, and asking me if i know any, trying to get me to qualify myself, but im a retard, so i just say some random lame french shit like “bonjour” and “comma ca va?” and basic shit like that haha so we laughing hahaha
she asks me if i like hockey, and i’m like i play hockey (haha qualifying myself here, but i fucking love hockey and its dope that she does too)
she tells me that she’s a detroit red wings fan so i immediately start giving her shit for it hahaha
i would like take a few steps away from her, turn my body language away, and cross my arms and look away haha
this made it fun, and i really do feel like i am getting better at challenging and not always being that nice guy who agrees with everything
we were both happy and having a good time, just bantering with her now, she’s telling me how she grew up in detroit and she would go to the hockey games with her dad and shit and then they moved to la
i made some statement on how people from la are fake
she immediately starts trying to qualify herself like “i’m not fake” haha
i should’ve gotten her to expand more on it haha but i think this somehow led to us teasing basic bitches at the party hahaha
i’m like “haha, let’s make fun of bitches at this party” so we start pointing to random girls and pretending to snicker at them
one of her friends comes by, and tells her that she’s too drunk and is going to sleep
i look at my phone, and it is like 10:45 pm, so i’m like “you know, it’s only 10:45 pm, you are fucking weak”
she says some random drunk shit at us and leaves… lol
i’m like “yep… that’s a basic bitch” and we laughing and shit
i ask her where her bf is, and she says that he’s in la but coming up tmrw
she mentions being with him since the end of high school and starts telling me all this shit about how he is like crazy in her and wants to get married and shit, and she’s sort of like “uhh” but i still want to have fun and adventure and stuff you know?
fuck i dunno what to even say to this, i don’t want to play the provider, so i just pretty much just re-state what she says differently
fuck man, so at this point, some people are leaving to go to another party, so we decide to dip the fuck out with them
some guy in front of us is holding two chicks, and she’s like “oh ya, that’s blah blah blah, he’s a frat dude and tries to get with all the chicks” hahahaha or something like that i dun even remember but then i do something stupid and akward and im like “well you can be like him” and i put my arm around her like wtf hahahaha
she’s like i’m ok i have a bf, so i immediately withdraw my arm like a bitch (but i hugged her a couple times inside and probably did a playful shove or something oh hahaha kino points yo)
anyways, so we get to the party, but it is lame, so we like dip the fuck out
we walking around aimlessly now, and i try to pull her back to my place to just chill and eat pizza lol wtf
but obviously she resists and she’s like aw its still so early, i want to party
so we walking around on the party street, and she mentions something about the cops that are there standing around looking for underaged drunks
immedialty im like “cops! over here! underage drinker!” hahahaha she like lightly slaps me and is like “shh!” we laughing and shit and having a good time
we hear a dope ass party going on, and there’s a lil opening in the front gate, so i just barge right in like i dont give a fuck
some guy on the other side is like “yo yo yo wtf dude wtf! who you think you are?” and all that type of shit hahaha
and immediately the chick im with is like “yo yo yo he’s chill dude, an exchange student from canada, we got alcohol and shit” *shows him bottle of vodka*
hahahaha wtf this chick is actually dope as fuck
so this party has got like a dj in the front yard with hella peeps dancing outside and shit
immediately i build the frame that we are like the oldest ones here
she’s like i can be your wingman, which girl you want?
and I'm like “wow, all of them are ratchet… what if all i want is you?”
hahaha fuck i just had to give it one more chance and tell her straight up
but nope, she wasn’t having it hahaha keeps giving me bf response “im off limits!”
fuckkkk
so after a bit more fucking around inside the house and meeting more ppl, i just left her, saw multiple guys throughout the night trying to hit on her… i bet she just led them all on… i was just like fuck it and went to rage with the rest of the peeps at the party
January 20
I had two interactions that stand out today
1. cute blonde rollerblading biddie
haha this girls wearing a gray sbcc sweater and rollerblading up and down del playa… love it.
i had just finished watching the sunset a few minutes ago… waves were crashing and the sky was pink
see this girl so i approach her on my bike as she rides by me
i say something like “you gotta teach me”
she says something like “just push forward” or whatever
i turn around and bike after her (chasing here i know, but i didn’t just want to let her go by)
maybe i should’ve gotten her to stop the first time around?
anyways so i bike up to her side for about a second, so that she can see me, and i open with something like: “hey, i just thought that you were absolutely adorable, I’m Darren” and shake her hand
so now we cruising down the street together
im like “i love how people here bike or skateboard, but you’re just rollerblading”
she’s like “i know how to skate and rollerblade, but i don't bike”
i’m like “what? you don't know how to bike? all my attraction for you just went dowwwnnn”
she’s like “haha, well i used to have a bike, but someone stole it”
i’m like: “typical iv story…”
she’s like: “no, this was back in san diego”
so after this, i think i teased her more like “what school you go to? sbcc?”
she’s like “yeah”
and i’m like “aww, i thought we had a chance haha”
“but you know, i might be down to grab a coffee sometime still, if i somehow decide that you’re cool enough”
she’s like “i think i’ve had enough boy trouble recently”
i don’t respond for a few seconds, and then i’m like “just can’t get enough of them, can’t you?”
hahaha
i don’t remember her response, but i can see she’s not down, maybe i should’ve persisted with something like “what? you think that i’m just like the rest of the boys?”
haha, but i just wished her a nice day, and went my own way
what could i have done better?
maybe tried to build more of a connection? dunno, in that situation, when we are both cruising down the street, i was just going for the fun and playful vibe
i also feel that i went overboard on the negging, definitely should’ve balanced that out
2. blonde girl from my psychology class
so i’m biking back along del playa, and i see this decently cute blonde girl from one of my psychology courses getting out of her car
she’s super short and small haha, really petite and cute
so i stop and say open with something like “hey i think you’re in my psychology class” (yeah i know, not really direct, but she’s in my class, so i didn’t want to open with something direct)
she’s like “umm, which one?”
i tell her and introduce myself
she’s like “you looking for a car?” and points to her car, which as a “for sale” sign on it
i could’ve been all like rsdjulien here and been like “fuck no!” hahaha, but i was like “you selling it?”
she’s like “yep, it doesn’t really work anymore”
so we start joking about how shitty her car is and i’m like teasing her about how she’s getting it all freshened up so that it will at least work for when people test run it
so yeah i think we just did a bunch of small random bullshit talk
like she asked me what year i was and shit, and i told her that i was an exchange student from canada, asked her where she was from and shit, and she said oc, i tried to inquire more on where in oc, like near mission viejo or ladera ranch or some shit? haha, tryna get my geography on lock
told her you guys are lucky to be living here
she’s like yeah im actually in my last year, so i’ll be leaving… pretty sad
i’m like “get the fuck out of here! i never want to see you again!”
should’ve said this more with a straight face haha but whatevs, it was funny, and i’ve been trying to work on my asshole game more cause i honestly am too much of a nice guy and never challenge girls
anways, i stare off at my surroundings for awhile, and we talk a bit more about random shit or whatever and then she tells me that she’s gotta get back to working on her car so i get her name again, and she asks for mine, and i’m like “what? we’re done with. done.”
haha she's like "i just need a refresher"
and so i tell her my name and bike off
what could i have done better?
i could’ve inquired more about her life, like actually tried to build a real connection haha fuck man
like asked her what she was planning to do after graduation, become an iv bum and live here forever?
could’ve been a bit more direct midway through the interaction, maybe tried for number close, but again, she’s in my class, and i want to be sure she’s interested… maybe im just a pussy lol
January 21
1. drug addict brunette chick dressed like a motherfucking zebra
i open with something stupid like “hey i just saw you and thought you were absolutely adorable in your black and white dressed like a zebra”
she’s so delighted by this, and exclaims happily that i made her day lol
we do basic introductory shit and then her mom calls her so she picks up and talks to her for like a minute, then says that she’ll call her back, then hangs up
she’s like “sorry about that”
i’m like hahaha “shunning your mom for me?”
she laughs and is like “well, i can’t really talk to her right now” haha
i’m like “oh she’s incoherent?”
“yeah, haha”
so we do our basic where you froms and shit
she's from fucking atlanta, like wtf
“so you ditched your mama… you ditched your papa… and you ditched your friends, to come here”
she’s like “yep, and i’ve made better friends here”
“yeah, that tends to happen when you leave home… you open up and shit… leavingg home was the best decision i made too…”
we agree, and i continue, “hopefully you aren’t getting into too much trouble”
“nope… well… actually… i did get in trouble for smoking in res haha. had to go to a class and all that shit. it was pretty fun actually, i made friends with the people there, and i got a shirt that says ucsb drugs and rehabilitation”
haha this chicks funny and cool as fuck
i’m like “haha, so most people just walk around with their sweaters like ucsb, but you got yours like ucsb druggggss”
she’s like “yep” and starts talking about how her friend just got some codeine hahaha
i joke about how she’s got her weekend plans all planned out
asks where im going, tells me she’s going to student health
i joke “oh to get your drugs?”
haha
so i number close her and we make our separate ways (also i should note that I put my around her a couple times and sort of squeezed her and put my arms back down after… did this at like high points and when i was saying shit about her or whatever lol)
I texted her, inquiring her on her schedule, and she didn't text me back until 2 days later, saying that she was really busy with midterms this week
funny thing, i saw this girl again a week later, and i re-initiated her, we had a nice and quick "friendly" (fuck me) sort of conversation, and then she left, so I assume she's not that interested in general... fuck it... she's hot though.
2. hot blonde chick sitting at the cafe
i walk by her, open with i just thought you were incredibly adorable or some stupid shit like that and sit down next to her
do introductions and shit ask her what she's working on
she's like studying for a quiz she’s got soon
says she's fucked and that she gives up
i start giving her shit for it haha
“do you always just give up on things?”
“you slacker”
hahahaha immediately she starts qualifying herself omg so funny how you can actually cause girls to do this shit
she’s like (imagine sassy girly voice here) “i’ve been studying here for three hours, I am not a slacker!”
hahaha maybe i should’ve reward her a bit here, but i teased her further, maybe too much lol “oh yeah? and how much time spent on Facebook?
she's like “i dont have fb”
i’m like “what?”
haha and we get into this banter about deleting fb and shit
then im like “twitter?”
“i dont’t tweet”
“snapchat”
“ok, maybe a bit of time spent on snapchat”
hahaha
funny shit
so now I'm like teasing her more because she told me that she deleted her fb because she's scared her employers are going to look at it
im like “god knows what I will find if i get to know you more”
“maybe i should stay away from you” *lean slowly away with funny awkward look on my face*
haha so im joking around and she's like you don’t want to get to know me on my bad days
some days, i just wake up on the wrong side of the pillow
i was like “well you’re probably never going to wake up on my bed” hahahaha
she was like hahahaha ohhhhh thats mean or something like that
hahaha so i number close her by saying something like “well, you know, if i decide that you might be cool enough, we should grab a coffee sometime”
she’s like “haha ooohhhh, so you’re the one doing me a favour? sure, we can grab a coffee”
boom. number close. i think i went overboard on the negging though. she probably figured i was “gaming” her. i had an air of cockiness and superiority to me though, which was dope
January 26
I actually went on a date with the hot blonde chick from above
Here’s how the texting went:
Me: Hey it’s Darren, we met at the cafe yesterday. Was thinking we should grab coffee soon, whats your schedule looking like?
Her: I’ll be on campus Tuesday - Thursday, what about you?
Me: Yeah same, what time are you off on those days?
Her: After 3
Me: Ok lets meet 330 on tuesday, same place that we met
She doesn’t respond to that, so I text her monday night
Me: Hey we still on for tomorrow?
She doesn’t text me till 2 pm the next day
Her: Hey sorry for getting back to you so late!
Me: Hey no worries, so i’ll see you at 330?
Her: That still works for me im free until office hours around 4
She then texts me at 330 that she's at the office hours till around 4
So I’m waiting outside the cafe for her.
I just want to say that this was like the 5th date of my life lol hahaha such a loser, but seriously, wtf she was fine as hell, blonde biddy, cute face and shit, probably an 8 or even a 9 i would say, man she was fire (all the chicks i’ve been on dates on have been pretty hahaha)
Anyways, like all previous dates, this one was a failure
I am always so nervous man
Its cause i’ve been only on 5 dates lol
It’s like I’ve only done 5 approaches
I need to rack up more
Like im confident when I approach (well sort of, I remember I was sweating profusely while talking to this chick when i met her hahaha, so much tension it was crazy, i almost couldn’t handle the pressure you know? but i stuck with it) but before a date i am always nervous as fuckkkkk
I know its just cause i dont have the experience and its just a matter of getting on more dates
I always get flaked on, I honestly thought at one point that the blonde chick was gonna flake as well, but i acted pretty unfazed during text, and followed through, i was just surprised she replied to my initial text you know? hahaha im talking like such a low value guy but honestly, at this point, im like thankful this chick gave me a chance
i know that one day, if i keep working at this, im gonna get the mindset where its like im giving the chick the chance (sort of like the vibe and verbals i was exuding when I first approached her)
anyways, so im sitting looking away, and i hear a voice “hey!”
look over, and its her
she’s so fucking cute man i still can’t get over how i got this girl on a date man…. fuck….. im so lucky and proud of myself hahahaha im such a faggot
im all depressed and shit just thinking about how i fucked up
one day man, one day i’ll be that high value man i want to be, if i keep working at this shit, don’t give up this time… don’t fucking give up
so i’m like “hey! let’s go for a walk”
she’s like “ok, where?”
“the lagoon,” I tell her.
so we walking
and originally, my plan was to link arms with her when i first saw her, be all like “link arms! link arms!”
but fuck im a pussy you know?
its like, in my mind, im getting all worked up, and building this sexual tension in my head
but when i see her, and she’s in like the chill like neutral vibe, i don’t feel calibrated linking arms with her you know? like the mood isn’t romantic enough yet, if you know what I mean? but am i just being a pussy? do i have to wait for that perfect moment to say something like “let’s link arms?”
but yeah man, i dunno man, its like i want that sexual tension first, then it would feel more calibrated to link arms i dunno man… fuck… but maybe i need to create that tension by linking arms? i dunno im confused
so she asks me to tell her about myself
and immediately i tell her im an exchange student from canada and shit blah blah blah
went here cause i heard it was a social school and i really wanted to push my comfort zones and meet as many people as possible and blah blah blah didn’t want to be like a foreigner in a mysterious land
she tells me she went to australia for exchange last quarter or some shit and that she's environmental studies major
im like so you’re a tree lover? she’s like yeah
so im like hug that tree!
she hugs it
and then im like kiss it!
she kisses it
so good compliance there (yay good job darren +2 points for compliance lol you fucking faggot)
don’t be so hard on yourself darren, yeah be nice to yourself darren
it’s painful writing this shit, but i have to continue…
so we talking about basic shit
i deep dive her, ask her how she got into environmental studies
she tells me it’s interesting cause you learn that everything is related blah blah blah and it really causes you to respect nature and all this that’s around us and know about it rather than just seeing it and shit
man, already, i can tell this girl is intelligent and high value yo
fuck
man
so we walking and shit talking about basic shit like where we live and our roommates and shit, joking around that she can be my tour guide for the day
tell her that i don't think we would get along cause she doesn't cook (and i do. well... sorta)
i sort of neg her by commenting on how she looks like a soccer mom today, lol (she was wearing like black tights and nikes with a sweater haha, so funny how she still looked fine as fuck, it’s all about the face, hair and the body-hip ratio bros, that’s how you know a chick is fine — when she doesn’t dress prime but is still hot as fuck)
she was like “yeah, i already got that today haha”
eventually we get to this point where we don’t really know where we are haha
i’m like “where are you taking me?” haha
haha “she’s like i dunno, just got lost in good conversation”
so eventually we find the lagoon and she’s like “im pretty sure we took the long way”
so we walking along the lagoon, so pretty
fuck man
i can’t stop being so self-critical
i’m always so mean to myself
it’s so painful writing this
i don’t know how to build that sexual vibe you know?
like the entire time, it felt that we were having platonic, friendly conversation
i dunno what to do! how can i build the tension? like i felt the tension during the approach, but during the date, you have to build it up again, and i don’t know how!
like talking about sororities and shit, and she’s in one, so we talking about that, and at this point i give her a compliment that she seems so much more intelligent than the normal sorority bimbos lol
haha i think she sort of took a bit offense to this cause she started exclaiming how thats a stereotype and that if you actually meet some of the girls, you will find out that some of them are actually very smart
haha
so i ask about her position and shit in the sorority blah blah blah
talk about like this pizza place and how its a good place for beer and pizza
haha so yeah, pretty friendly conversation so far huh?
yeah I'm a fucking pussy i know
fuck i need to stop all this negative self-talk, it’s bad for me
but fuck i can’t stop sometimes, i just get so angry at myself and i know its not good
i just need to chill and be more self-compassionate
fuck
fuck!!
this is where I became the biggest pussy
she asks me if we should start to walk back or if we should go around, and im like go around cause its nice and beautiful as fuck (i shouldn’t have needed to justify my decision, but i feel beta still so i demonstrated some beta qualities there by trying to justify it)
so we walk by this marine place and she says “woah that’s cool!”
I mishear this for “i’m cold” so I'm like “you’re cold?” and i wrap my arms around her shoulder
she’s like “no, i said that’s cool”
so i’m like “oh” and i take my arms off her
SEE
I’M A FUCKING PUSSY
IM STILL SCARED TO TOUCH A GIRL
I DONT KNOW HOW TO CALIBRATE IT PROPERLY
AND IM SCARED I’LL FUCK IT UP
SO WHAT HAPPENS?
I FUCK IT UP
FUCKKKKK!!!!! I’M SO ANGRY!!!!!! I KNOW I SHOULD STAY POSITIVE AND BE THANKFUL I GOT A DATE AND GOT MORE REFERENCE POINTS BUT FUCK I JUST CANT HELP BEING SO ANGRY AT MYSELF
SHE WAS SO FUCKING HOT, AND I FUCKED IT UP, CAUSE I KNEW, I JUST WASNT AS HIGH VALUE AS HER
MY VALUE ISN’T HIGH AS FUCK YET
BUT I KNOW THAT ONE DAY IT WILL BE, ONE DAY! I JUST GOTTA KEEP PUSHING KEEP PUSHING KEEP PUSHING FUCK YOU DARREN FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU
so i try to act unfazed and cool and i tease her for sounding like an excited child haha “that’s cool!”
so we walk up some stairs to this place called campus point
there’s all these green plant things everywhere, and she tells me about them and how they are not a native species and that they are taking over all the native species here and how that’s bad
we go to the cliffs overlooking the ocean and peer out at the waves and the sun and just how beautiful it all was
but honestly, i couldn’t think about how beautiful everything was
all i could think about was that girl with me
see? my neediness translates to my behaviour and my vibe, and i hate it
i just need to meet more girls and go on more dates until i rewire my pussy ass beta brain
it’s going to be a hard and long process, i know it, it’s been long and hard so far, but i’ve come a long way from that pussy i was in high school, i just wish i could still be more… i’m still so behind compared to some other people who have been socializing their whole entire lives
i then ask her: “wanna go?”
see i’m a pussy
so we finish the walk, and all the meanwhile, she’s like educating me about all the plants and nature we be seeing
she tells me how because she's a senior now, she's sort of done with all the partying and that on the weekends she mostly just gets drunk and plays board games with her housemates lol
tells me about her dry sense of humour and how she has a generally anxious view of the world... like she always feels anxious for some reason
i try to get to the roots of it, by trying to relate with some childhood stories of how i had panic attacks and was scared and anxious about random shit haha, but i can't seem to uncover what she has a general anxiousness about...
she asks me about what im learning in psychology, and we are actually learning about mindfulness, so i try to relate it back to her, telling her how we should always be mindful of shit around us like the nature, and trying not to suppress feelings but to release them and look at them in a nonjudgmental way
i also joked a few times about pushing her in the lagoon, off the cliffs, and placing her inside a rat cage we passed by
at the end of the walk, we stopped to observe some funny looking birds
they had like really long legs and looked really funny haha
one was walking really funnily and slowly in the water, i think preying on some fish
we were looking at it hoping that it would eat something
she points me to a sign that shows all the different types of birds that you can find at the lagoon
i’m like “ok, i have that, i don’t need you anymore”
she’s like “ok bye”
and walks 5 steps away lol
fuck this girls good hahahaha it almost scared me hahahahahaahaha
and then she’s like “no but come here, look at this one”
and we look at another bird and i joke about how it looks like a baby penguin with long ass legs lol cause it was black and white
hahaha finish our walk, i hug her and we make our separate ways
she exclaims how “nice” it was getting to know me and that we didn’t get coffee this time, but we should next time
see! i’m still too much of a nice guy, and i know it
i just give off that nice guy vibe, and i don’t know what to do about it
like i’m trying to neg more and tease more and say things to put myself in a higher value position, but i know that what my body says has to fit into that as well
like right now, i’m begging and teasing and challenging more, but i still feel that i need to translate these verbals into my nonverbals
i need to get those badass asshole don’t give a fuck nonverbals / vibes
so i walked home feeling disappointed at myself. i knew that i couldn’t bring myself to invite her over, because it wouldn’t have felt right…
i didn’t build up the sexual tension enough, and thus, it would have felt uncalibrated to invite her over
fuck, actually, the first date that i’ve ever been on, i invited the girl over even though the vibe wasn’t sexual, and when she sat on my bed, i just started making out with her
obviously i was a pussy back then (still sort of am) and couldn’t get past the LMR, but funny story that i still got her back to the house on a very platonic, friendly kind of vibe
anyways, so yeah, that’s my FR, i pumped out 18 goddamn pages, yep… a lot has been on my mind lately… i’m tired, discouraged, and going through lots of ups and downs but im trying to remain positive throughout this
some days i’ll be super happy (from socializing to everyone and getting good reactions from girls and spreading value), other days, i’ll be fucking depressed (from getting rejected and feeling burnt out and down about myself)
but i know i gotta keep pumping out those approaches, keep sticking with this game, and not taking breaks this time
FUCK
OK
BYE FOR NOW
LOVE YOU ALL
ucsb has been sick so far
school right by the beach, perfect weather
hot blonde californian babes walking around each and every day
consistently rated as one of the top party schools in the nation
everyone lives in isla vista, a small community beside the school consisting of only college students… perfect logistics, perfect college town, perfect life
i been doing both day and night game
will go out night an average of 3x a week (either downtown to bars and clubs or hitting up random parties on del playa drive and around iv in general)
try to do at least a handful of day game approaches each day
been waking up late though, so I'm missing out on a lot of day game which I'm pissed about… gotta fix my sleep schedule and get those high class biddies walking around campus… mmmm so fucking sexy
i fucking love day game so much more than night game too… i fucking suck at night game lol (most of the time, can't even get girls to hook)… i think its cause it requires you to be aggressive and dominant, and i feel so pussy and intimidated going out at night sometimes, whereas in the day time, i can be nervous as well, but i am so much more comfortable doing it (the more warmed up i get, the better obviously)
overall, just trying to be a generally positive and social person, i know now that beoming better at socializing involves talking to everyone, not just the pretty girls
dont judge, don't discriminate, cause then you putting those hot biddies on pedestals
i’ve been trying hard to put myself out there. like talk to everyone when i go out. not just the pretty girls, but the guys and the not-so pretty girls too. it’s hard, but i’m trying, and it’s fucking painful, but i know i gotta push my comfort zones, i gotta
January 15
1. Megan from the party
so i’m walking around del playa, looking for parties
no parties were absolutely bumping yet, so i see this chill looking party and greet the guys at the door like i know them lol
one of them is like “who do you know here?”
i’m like “uhh, owen lane” (hahahaha some bullshit name i made up)
he’s like “owen?”
i’m like “yeah, i’m gonna go look for him” hahaha and then just proceed up the stairs to the party
i see one girl i like. she was the hottest one at the party, and the only one i really digged.
she was brunette with a cute face and leather jacket
she was talking to some (pretty alpha looking guy), and honestly, i am such a pussy when it comes to approaching chicks with guys cause i always automatically assume they are together, but i guess it is just my head making excuses not to approach
so i just decide to say hi to them and ask them how their nights are going
introduce myself to both of them, and the chick starts asking me questions, so i start talking to her, and eventually the guy is smart and leaves
so we just doing basic introductory talk, finding where we are from and shit
i tell her that im from canada and that im here on exchange
she tells me about her exchange in france (i chase framed something about her meeting lots of french guys, and its at this point that she mentions 'no' cause she has a bf)
she’s like speaking french, and asking me if i know any, trying to get me to qualify myself, but im a retard, so i just say some random lame french shit like “bonjour” and “comma ca va?” and basic shit like that haha so we laughing hahaha
she asks me if i like hockey, and i’m like i play hockey (haha qualifying myself here, but i fucking love hockey and its dope that she does too)
she tells me that she’s a detroit red wings fan so i immediately start giving her shit for it hahaha
i would like take a few steps away from her, turn my body language away, and cross my arms and look away haha
this made it fun, and i really do feel like i am getting better at challenging and not always being that nice guy who agrees with everything
we were both happy and having a good time, just bantering with her now, she’s telling me how she grew up in detroit and she would go to the hockey games with her dad and shit and then they moved to la
i made some statement on how people from la are fake
she immediately starts trying to qualify herself like “i’m not fake” haha
i should’ve gotten her to expand more on it haha but i think this somehow led to us teasing basic bitches at the party hahaha
i’m like “haha, let’s make fun of bitches at this party” so we start pointing to random girls and pretending to snicker at them
one of her friends comes by, and tells her that she’s too drunk and is going to sleep
i look at my phone, and it is like 10:45 pm, so i’m like “you know, it’s only 10:45 pm, you are fucking weak”
she says some random drunk shit at us and leaves… lol
i’m like “yep… that’s a basic bitch” and we laughing and shit
i ask her where her bf is, and she says that he’s in la but coming up tmrw
she mentions being with him since the end of high school and starts telling me all this shit about how he is like crazy in her and wants to get married and shit, and she’s sort of like “uhh” but i still want to have fun and adventure and stuff you know?
fuck i dunno what to even say to this, i don’t want to play the provider, so i just pretty much just re-state what she says differently
fuck man, so at this point, some people are leaving to go to another party, so we decide to dip the fuck out with them
some guy in front of us is holding two chicks, and she’s like “oh ya, that’s blah blah blah, he’s a frat dude and tries to get with all the chicks” hahahaha or something like that i dun even remember but then i do something stupid and akward and im like “well you can be like him” and i put my arm around her like wtf hahahaha
she’s like i’m ok i have a bf, so i immediately withdraw my arm like a bitch (but i hugged her a couple times inside and probably did a playful shove or something oh hahaha kino points yo)
anyways, so we get to the party, but it is lame, so we like dip the fuck out
we walking around aimlessly now, and i try to pull her back to my place to just chill and eat pizza lol wtf
but obviously she resists and she’s like aw its still so early, i want to party
so we walking around on the party street, and she mentions something about the cops that are there standing around looking for underaged drunks
immedialty im like “cops! over here! underage drinker!” hahahaha she like lightly slaps me and is like “shh!” we laughing and shit and having a good time
we hear a dope ass party going on, and there’s a lil opening in the front gate, so i just barge right in like i dont give a fuck
some guy on the other side is like “yo yo yo wtf dude wtf! who you think you are?” and all that type of shit hahaha
and immediately the chick im with is like “yo yo yo he’s chill dude, an exchange student from canada, we got alcohol and shit” *shows him bottle of vodka*
hahahaha wtf this chick is actually dope as fuck
so this party has got like a dj in the front yard with hella peeps dancing outside and shit
immediately i build the frame that we are like the oldest ones here
she’s like i can be your wingman, which girl you want?
and I'm like “wow, all of them are ratchet… what if all i want is you?”
hahaha fuck i just had to give it one more chance and tell her straight up
but nope, she wasn’t having it hahaha keeps giving me bf response “im off limits!”
fuckkkk
so after a bit more fucking around inside the house and meeting more ppl, i just left her, saw multiple guys throughout the night trying to hit on her… i bet she just led them all on… i was just like fuck it and went to rage with the rest of the peeps at the party
January 20
I had two interactions that stand out today
1. cute blonde rollerblading biddie
haha this girls wearing a gray sbcc sweater and rollerblading up and down del playa… love it.
i had just finished watching the sunset a few minutes ago… waves were crashing and the sky was pink
see this girl so i approach her on my bike as she rides by me
i say something like “you gotta teach me”
she says something like “just push forward” or whatever
i turn around and bike after her (chasing here i know, but i didn’t just want to let her go by)
maybe i should’ve gotten her to stop the first time around?
anyways so i bike up to her side for about a second, so that she can see me, and i open with something like: “hey, i just thought that you were absolutely adorable, I’m Darren” and shake her hand
so now we cruising down the street together
im like “i love how people here bike or skateboard, but you’re just rollerblading”
she’s like “i know how to skate and rollerblade, but i don't bike”
i’m like “what? you don't know how to bike? all my attraction for you just went dowwwnnn”
she’s like “haha, well i used to have a bike, but someone stole it”
i’m like: “typical iv story…”
she’s like: “no, this was back in san diego”
so after this, i think i teased her more like “what school you go to? sbcc?”
she’s like “yeah”
and i’m like “aww, i thought we had a chance haha”
“but you know, i might be down to grab a coffee sometime still, if i somehow decide that you’re cool enough
” she’s like “i think i’ve had enough boy trouble recently”
i don’t respond for a few seconds, and then i’m like “just can’t get enough of them, can’t you?”
hahaha
i don’t remember her response, but i can see she’s not down, maybe i should’ve persisted with something like “what? you think that i’m just like the rest of the boys?”
haha, but i just wished her a nice day, and went my own way
what could i have done better?
maybe tried to build more of a connection? dunno, in that situation, when we are both cruising down the street, i was just going for the fun and playful vibe
i also feel that i went overboard on the negging, definitely should’ve balanced that out
2. blonde girl from my psychology class
so i’m biking back along del playa, and i see this decently cute blonde girl from one of my psychology courses getting out of her car
she’s super short and small haha, really petite and cute
so i stop and say open with something like “hey i think you’re in my psychology class” (yeah i know, not really direct, but she’s in my class, so i didn’t want to open with something direct)
she’s like “umm, which one?”
i tell her and introduce myself
she’s like “you looking for a car?” and points to her car, which as a “for sale” sign on it
i could’ve been all like rsdjulien here and been like “fuck no!” hahaha, but i was like “you selling it?”
she’s like “yep, it doesn’t really work anymore”
so we start joking about how shitty her car is and i’m like teasing her about how she’s getting it all freshened up so that it will at least work for when people test run it
so yeah i think we just did a bunch of small random bullshit talk
like she asked me what year i was and shit, and i told her that i was an exchange student from canada, asked her where she was from and shit, and she said oc, i tried to inquire more on where in oc, like near mission viejo or ladera ranch or some shit? haha, tryna get my geography on lock
told her you guys are lucky to be living here
she’s like yeah im actually in my last year, so i’ll be leaving… pretty sad
i’m like “get the fuck out of here! i never want to see you again!”
should’ve said this more with a straight face haha but whatevs, it was funny, and i’ve been trying to work on my asshole game more cause i honestly am too much of a nice guy and never challenge girls
anways, i stare off at my surroundings for awhile, and we talk a bit more about random shit or whatever and then she tells me that she’s gotta get back to working on her car so i get her name again, and she asks for mine, and i’m like “what? we’re done with. done.”
haha she's like "i just need a refresher"
and so i tell her my name and bike off
what could i have done better?
i could’ve inquired more about her life, like actually tried to build a real connection haha fuck man
like asked her what she was planning to do after graduation, become an iv bum and live here forever?
could’ve been a bit more direct midway through the interaction, maybe tried for number close, but again, she’s in my class, and i want to be sure she’s interested… maybe im just a pussy lol
January 21
1. drug addict brunette chick dressed like a motherfucking zebra
i open with something stupid like “hey i just saw you and thought you were absolutely adorable in your black and white dressed like a zebra”
she’s so delighted by this, and exclaims happily that i made her day lol
we do basic introductory shit and then her mom calls her so she picks up and talks to her for like a minute, then says that she’ll call her back, then hangs up
she’s like “sorry about that”
i’m like hahaha “shunning your mom for me?”
she laughs and is like “well, i can’t really talk to her right now” haha
i’m like “oh she’s incoherent?”
“yeah, haha”
so we do our basic where you froms and shit
she's from fucking atlanta, like wtf
“so you ditched your mama… you ditched your papa… and you ditched your friends, to come here”
she’s like “yep, and i’ve made better friends here”
“yeah, that tends to happen when you leave home… you open up and shit… leavingg home was the best decision i made too…”
we agree, and i continue, “hopefully you aren’t getting into too much trouble”
“nope… well… actually… i did get in trouble for smoking in res haha. had to go to a class and all that shit. it was pretty fun actually, i made friends with the people there, and i got a shirt that says ucsb drugs and rehabilitation”
haha this chicks funny and cool as fuck
i’m like “haha, so most people just walk around with their sweaters like ucsb, but you got yours like ucsb druggggss”
she’s like “yep” and starts talking about how her friend just got some codeine hahaha
i joke about how she’s got her weekend plans all planned out
asks where im going, tells me she’s going to student health
i joke “oh to get your drugs?”
haha
so i number close her and we make our separate ways (also i should note that I put my around her a couple times and sort of squeezed her and put my arms back down after… did this at like high points and when i was saying shit about her or whatever lol)
I texted her, inquiring her on her schedule, and she didn't text me back until 2 days later, saying that she was really busy with midterms this week
funny thing, i saw this girl again a week later, and i re-initiated her, we had a nice and quick "friendly" (fuck me) sort of conversation, and then she left, so I assume she's not that interested in general... fuck it... she's hot though.
2. hot blonde chick sitting at the cafe
i walk by her, open with i just thought you were incredibly adorable or some stupid shit like that and sit down next to her
do introductions and shit ask her what she's working on
she's like studying for a quiz she’s got soon
says she's fucked and that she gives up
i start giving her shit for it haha
“do you always just give up on things?”
“you slacker”
hahahaha immediately she starts qualifying herself omg so funny how you can actually cause girls to do this shit
she’s like (imagine sassy girly voice here) “i’ve been studying here for three hours, I am not a slacker!”
hahaha maybe i should’ve reward her a bit here, but i teased her further, maybe too much lol “oh yeah? and how much time spent on Facebook?
she's like “i dont have fb”
i’m like “what?”
haha and we get into this banter about deleting fb and shit
then im like “twitter?”
“i dont’t tweet”
“snapchat”
“ok, maybe a bit of time spent on snapchat”
hahaha
funny shit
so now I'm like teasing her more because she told me that she deleted her fb because she's scared her employers are going to look at it
im like “god knows what I will find if i get to know you more”
“maybe i should stay away from you” *lean slowly away with funny awkward look on my face*
haha so im joking around and she's like you don’t want to get to know me on my bad days
some days, i just wake up on the wrong side of the pillow
i was like “well you’re probably never going to wake up on my bed” hahahaha
she was like hahahaha ohhhhh thats mean or something like that
hahaha so i number close her by saying something like “well, you know, if i decide that you might be cool enough, we should grab a coffee sometime”
she’s like “haha ooohhhh, so you’re the one doing me a favour? sure, we can grab a coffee”
boom. number close. i think i went overboard on the negging though. she probably figured i was “gaming” her. i had an air of cockiness and superiority to me though, which was dope
January 26
I actually went on a date with the hot blonde chick from above
Here’s how the texting went:
Me: Hey it’s Darren, we met at the cafe yesterday. Was thinking we should grab coffee soon, whats your schedule looking like?
Her: I’ll be on campus Tuesday - Thursday, what about you?
Me: Yeah same, what time are you off on those days?
Her: After 3
Me: Ok lets meet 330 on tuesday, same place that we met
She doesn’t respond to that, so I text her monday night
Me: Hey we still on for tomorrow?
She doesn’t text me till 2 pm the next day
Her: Hey sorry for getting back to you so late!
Me: Hey no worries, so i’ll see you at 330?
Her: That still works for me im free until office hours around 4
She then texts me at 330 that she's at the office hours till around 4
So I’m waiting outside the cafe for her.
I just want to say that this was like the 5th date of my life lol hahaha such a loser, but seriously, wtf she was fine as hell, blonde biddy, cute face and shit, probably an 8 or even a 9 i would say, man she was fire (all the chicks i’ve been on dates on have been pretty hahaha)
Anyways, like all previous dates, this one was a failure
I am always so nervous man
Its cause i’ve been only on 5 dates lol
It’s like I’ve only done 5 approaches
I need to rack up more
Like im confident when I approach (well sort of, I remember I was sweating profusely while talking to this chick when i met her hahaha, so much tension it was crazy, i almost couldn’t handle the pressure you know? but i stuck with it) but before a date i am always nervous as fuckkkkk
I know its just cause i dont have the experience and its just a matter of getting on more dates
I always get flaked on, I honestly thought at one point that the blonde chick was gonna flake as well, but i acted pretty unfazed during text, and followed through, i was just surprised she replied to my initial text you know? hahaha im talking like such a low value guy but honestly, at this point, im like thankful this chick gave me a chance
i know that one day, if i keep working at this, im gonna get the mindset where its like im giving the chick the chance (sort of like the vibe and verbals i was exuding when I first approached her)
anyways, so im sitting looking away, and i hear a voice “hey!”
look over, and its her
she’s so fucking cute man i still can’t get over how i got this girl on a date man…. fuck….. im so lucky and proud of myself hahahaha im such a faggot
im all depressed and shit just thinking about how i fucked up
one day man, one day i’ll be that high value man i want to be, if i keep working at this shit, don’t give up this time… don’t fucking give up
so i’m like “hey! let’s go for a walk”
she’s like “ok, where?”
“the lagoon,” I tell her.
so we walking
and originally, my plan was to link arms with her when i first saw her, be all like “link arms! link arms!”
but fuck im a pussy you know?
its like, in my mind, im getting all worked up, and building this sexual tension in my head
but when i see her, and she’s in like the chill like neutral vibe, i don’t feel calibrated linking arms with her you know? like the mood isn’t romantic enough yet, if you know what I mean? but am i just being a pussy? do i have to wait for that perfect moment to say something like “let’s link arms?”
but yeah man, i dunno man, its like i want that sexual tension first, then it would feel more calibrated to link arms i dunno man… fuck… but maybe i need to create that tension by linking arms? i dunno im confused
so she asks me to tell her about myself
and immediately i tell her im an exchange student from canada and shit blah blah blah
went here cause i heard it was a social school and i really wanted to push my comfort zones and meet as many people as possible and blah blah blah didn’t want to be like a foreigner in a mysterious land
she tells me she went to australia for exchange last quarter or some shit and that she's environmental studies major
im like so you’re a tree lover? she’s like yeah
so im like hug that tree!
she hugs it
and then im like kiss it!
she kisses it
so good compliance there (yay good job darren +2 points for compliance lol you fucking faggot)
don’t be so hard on yourself darren, yeah be nice to yourself darren
it’s painful writing this shit, but i have to continue…
so we talking about basic shit
i deep dive her, ask her how she got into environmental studies
she tells me it’s interesting cause you learn that everything is related blah blah blah and it really causes you to respect nature and all this that’s around us and know about it rather than just seeing it and shit
man, already, i can tell this girl is intelligent and high value yo
fuck
man
so we walking and shit talking about basic shit like where we live and our roommates and shit, joking around that she can be my tour guide for the day
tell her that i don't think we would get along cause she doesn't cook (and i do. well... sorta)
i sort of neg her by commenting on how she looks like a soccer mom today, lol (she was wearing like black tights and nikes with a sweater haha, so funny how she still looked fine as fuck, it’s all about the face, hair and the body-hip ratio bros, that’s how you know a chick is fine — when she doesn’t dress prime but is still hot as fuck)
she was like “yeah, i already got that today haha”
eventually we get to this point where we don’t really know where we are haha
i’m like “where are you taking me?” haha
haha “she’s like i dunno, just got lost in good conversation”
so eventually we find the lagoon and she’s like “im pretty sure we took the long way”
so we walking along the lagoon, so pretty
fuck man
i can’t stop being so self-critical
i’m always so mean to myself
it’s so painful writing this
i don’t know how to build that sexual vibe you know?
like the entire time, it felt that we were having platonic, friendly conversation
i dunno what to do! how can i build the tension? like i felt the tension during the approach, but during the date, you have to build it up again, and i don’t know how!
like talking about sororities and shit, and she’s in one, so we talking about that, and at this point i give her a compliment that she seems so much more intelligent than the normal sorority bimbos lol
haha i think she sort of took a bit offense to this cause she started exclaiming how thats a stereotype and that if you actually meet some of the girls, you will find out that some of them are actually very smart
haha
so i ask about her position and shit in the sorority blah blah blah
talk about like this pizza place and how its a good place for beer and pizza
haha so yeah, pretty friendly conversation so far huh?
yeah I'm a fucking pussy i know
fuck i need to stop all this negative self-talk, it’s bad for me
but fuck i can’t stop sometimes, i just get so angry at myself and i know its not good
i just need to chill and be more self-compassionate
fuck
fuck!!
this is where I became the biggest pussy
she asks me if we should start to walk back or if we should go around, and im like go around cause its nice and beautiful as fuck (i shouldn’t have needed to justify my decision, but i feel beta still so i demonstrated some beta qualities there by trying to justify it)
so we walk by this marine place and she says “woah that’s cool!”
I mishear this for “i’m cold” so I'm like “you’re cold?” and i wrap my arms around her shoulder
she’s like “no, i said that’s cool”
so i’m like “oh” and i take my arms off her
SEE
I’M A FUCKING PUSSY
IM STILL SCARED TO TOUCH A GIRL
I DONT KNOW HOW TO CALIBRATE IT PROPERLY
AND IM SCARED I’LL FUCK IT UP
SO WHAT HAPPENS?
I FUCK IT UP
FUCKKKKK!!!!! I’M SO ANGRY!!!!!! I KNOW I SHOULD STAY POSITIVE AND BE THANKFUL I GOT A DATE AND GOT MORE REFERENCE POINTS BUT FUCK I JUST CANT HELP BEING SO ANGRY AT MYSELF
SHE WAS SO FUCKING HOT, AND I FUCKED IT UP, CAUSE I KNEW, I JUST WASNT AS HIGH VALUE AS HER
MY VALUE ISN’T HIGH AS FUCK YET
BUT I KNOW THAT ONE DAY IT WILL BE, ONE DAY! I JUST GOTTA KEEP PUSHING KEEP PUSHING KEEP PUSHING FUCK YOU DARREN FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU
so i try to act unfazed and cool and i tease her for sounding like an excited child haha “that’s cool!”
so we walk up some stairs to this place called campus point
there’s all these green plant things everywhere, and she tells me about them and how they are not a native species and that they are taking over all the native species here and how that’s bad
we go to the cliffs overlooking the ocean and peer out at the waves and the sun and just how beautiful it all was
but honestly, i couldn’t think about how beautiful everything was
all i could think about was that girl with me
see? my neediness translates to my behaviour and my vibe, and i hate it
i just need to meet more girls and go on more dates until i rewire my pussy ass beta brain
it’s going to be a hard and long process, i know it, it’s been long and hard so far, but i’ve come a long way from that pussy i was in high school, i just wish i could still be more… i’m still so behind compared to some other people who have been socializing their whole entire lives
i then ask her: “wanna go?”
see i’m a pussy
so we finish the walk, and all the meanwhile, she’s like educating me about all the plants and nature we be seeing
she tells me how because she's a senior now, she's sort of done with all the partying and that on the weekends she mostly just gets drunk and plays board games with her housemates lol
tells me about her dry sense of humour and how she has a generally anxious view of the world... like she always feels anxious for some reason
i try to get to the roots of it, by trying to relate with some childhood stories of how i had panic attacks and was scared and anxious about random shit haha, but i can't seem to uncover what she has a general anxiousness about...
she asks me about what im learning in psychology, and we are actually learning about mindfulness, so i try to relate it back to her, telling her how we should always be mindful of shit around us like the nature, and trying not to suppress feelings but to release them and look at them in a nonjudgmental way
i also joked a few times about pushing her in the lagoon, off the cliffs, and placing her inside a rat cage we passed by
at the end of the walk, we stopped to observe some funny looking birds
they had like really long legs and looked really funny haha
one was walking really funnily and slowly in the water, i think preying on some fish
we were looking at it hoping that it would eat something
she points me to a sign that shows all the different types of birds that you can find at the lagoon
i’m like “ok, i have that, i don’t need you anymore”
she’s like “ok bye”
and walks 5 steps away lol
fuck this girls good hahahaha it almost scared me hahahahahaahaha
and then she’s like “no but come here, look at this one”
and we look at another bird and i joke about how it looks like a baby penguin with long ass legs lol cause it was black and white
hahaha finish our walk, i hug her and we make our separate ways
she exclaims how “nice” it was getting to know me and that we didn’t get coffee this time, but we should next time
see! i’m still too much of a nice guy, and i know it
i just give off that nice guy vibe, and i don’t know what to do about it
like i’m trying to neg more and tease more and say things to put myself in a higher value position, but i know that what my body says has to fit into that as well
like right now, i’m begging and teasing and challenging more, but i still feel that i need to translate these verbals into my nonverbals
i need to get those badass asshole don’t give a fuck nonverbals / vibes
so i walked home feeling disappointed at myself. i knew that i couldn’t bring myself to invite her over, because it wouldn’t have felt right…
i didn’t build up the sexual tension enough, and thus, it would have felt uncalibrated to invite her over
fuck, actually, the first date that i’ve ever been on, i invited the girl over even though the vibe wasn’t sexual, and when she sat on my bed, i just started making out with her
obviously i was a pussy back then (still sort of am) and couldn’t get past the LMR, but funny story that i still got her back to the house on a very platonic, friendly kind of vibe
anyways, so yeah, that’s my FR, i pumped out 18 goddamn pages, yep… a lot has been on my mind lately… i’m tired, discouraged, and going through lots of ups and downs but im trying to remain positive throughout this
some days i’ll be super happy (from socializing to everyone and getting good reactions from girls and spreading value), other days, i’ll be fucking depressed (from getting rejected and feeling burnt out and down about myself)
but i know i gotta keep pumping out those approaches, keep sticking with this game, and not taking breaks this time
FUCK
OK
BYE FOR NOW
LOVE YOU ALL