En's log

[Higher]

Havent been on the boards lately, so here a quick update.

Im still seeing the girl from my last lr. Happy i met her, shes def mltr material.

Daygame-wise, i did only 5 approaches in the last week or so.

One was a sweet (and taken) Spanish tourist yesterday. Really good set with sots and escalation - i actually felt good even tho she ultimately rejected me.

A bubbly US tourist a few days ago seemed super happy to meet me. Set was good like the one with the Spanish girl, and she agreed on drinks - only to block me after my icebreaker lol. I dont seem to be able to conquer the hearts and the pussies of these US chicks as of yet.

Approached a pretty hot girl today that gave me iois, but she put on a poker face and rushed away after my compliment.

A milf with fake boobs told me (also with poker face), im not sure i wanna have coffee with u. I could have prob turned her around as i did with other girls in the past, but i thought to myself, why? Shes not enthusiastic to meet me. Why should i invest time here? I quickly screened her out and bade her farewell.

Last girl brushed me off.

Im not in the best mood for daygame, not having much fun. I still get iois, but i rarely get enthusiastic to the point of just going for it and making things happen. Apart from a very few exceptions, im not even kicking myself for letting them go.

Its a recurring phase, and it usually means that im putting too much stake in this thing, like my worth depends on it. Good thing i have a "get in a better mood" routine, will focus on it in the next few days.

I did a light upgrade of my fashion and im getting used to it. Feels pretty good.

I also got back in touch with a girl i approached long ago, we only had a 1st date and shes past due for a good Dose of D. She seems down, but its a pain in the ass to text with her so ill prob call her tonight.

 

[Stark]

Im still seeing the girl from my last lr. Happy i met her, shes def mltr material.

Glad to hear that

Good thing i have a "get in a better mood" routine, will focus on it in the next few days.

Not sure if you have written about this already. Else please share what you do specifically

 

[Higher]

@Stark, thanks man.

please share what you do specifically

Sure, its nothing mind-blowing but here it is.

First of all, the problem is that i expect myself to succeed - and to do it asap. Its like performance anxiety. Failing this expectation causes me to project a bad vibe outwards, and this loops back inwards. I feel like i lose control and cant get anything good done. Loser effect.

So my general approach to fix this is to remind myself of what i care about in life (i have a list of "principles") and to work on it.

More concretely, i start by getting something small done in the morning. It can be anything i care about - doing a sport session, having quality food or even fasting a bit, cleaning my place, replying to some emails, getting something fixed, helping someone out, learning something new. These are things i do anyway during the day when im off work, but doing them in the early morning and truly appreciating the feeling of accomplishment really lifts my state for the entire day. These are what i call "early wins".

The early wins create a small "winner effect" that i can ride all day long - and this, along with my "principles", impacts my life in multiple ways.

When im working, im more confident with responsibilities and i find better and more creative solutions to problems. Im more positive with others and more willing to help them out too.

When i travel, im very present in the here and now as i enjoy the feeling of discovering new places and foods. I love traveling, and i do it often as i can work remotely. Being a tourist abroad helps me feel like a tourist in my country.

When im out, i take my mind off expectations. Im no longer "trying to get something out of people" - im just being sociable. Im spreading the good vibes around. That feels great on its own. And if that gets me some pussy, even better. After all, in the words of Steve Jabba, "sex is everywhere". We do live in a world full of pussibilities.

The overall feeling that drives all of this is: im at the bottom and i can start to climb back up. Im doing the right thing here and now. The value im gaining for myself allows me to be more of a giver than a taker with others.

Small problem is, this happens in phases. When in a down phase, i have to remind myself of how to get back up, as its not automatic.

But its fine - i can ride the down phase until the winner effect kicks in, and with time thisll hopefully become a habit.

 

[Higher]

Just took a great shot with a stunner. This was borderline stalking lol and its not something i normally do, but i HAD TO take this chance.

This took 10-15 minutes in total.

So im otw back to the station after a 1h daygame session. Its pouring water and ice, and the streets are crowded. I managed to approach 2 girls, and im far from being satisfied. Then i see her: long flowing blonde hair, beautiful face, great walk and style. Shes a drop of color in the greyscale of the world.

She quickly glances at me with her big blue eyes as im stuffing my face with a sandwich. Not cool. I wait a few seconds, then im like, fuck it, i gotta talk to her. So i quickly pack the half-eaten sandwich away, clean up my face and think, alright, lets go.

Shes walking fast and i lose her in the crowd. Then i spot her 10mt away as shes rushing towards a tram. She hops in, i hop in.

The tram is packed. She finds a seat and listens to music. The only free spot for me is near the fucking door, standing, as im trying to make way for ppl to get in and out. But at least im in her full range of vision and she can check me out if she wants to, so thats good.

The tram progressively gets emptier as we approach the terminus. Im trying to look cool and not to make eye contact, and at the same time im thinking about how to approach her as seamlessly as possible. Hopefully she hasnt recognized me from earlier.

A seat near her frees up. Its a chance, and i take it. I sit down, wait a few seconds, then go for it.

I open informational about a famous coffee place in the area (pretty lame, but whatever). Shes a deer in the headlights, like omg, a human being is talking to me?? We do a quick back and forth before hopping off. I see shes itching to leave, but i tell her, hey btw, wait a sec, i also wanted to tell u that u look lovely, while gently touching her elbow. She thanks me, but shes still motioning to go. Shes not comfortable, so i smile, take my distance and ask her, u going to ur bf right now? Shes like, mmm yes! Who knows if thats true or not, but im like, well i had to try. Bye bye.

Maybe i should have made eye contact as i was sitting down near her. I approached her almost out of the blue. But anyway, i was stunned by this girl and i gave it my best shot. Doing this always boosts my mood. Feels like im back in control. I kept smiling to myself long after the approach, people around me musta thought im crazy.

I dont like following girls around, but with the afterwork crowd and all there was no way to approach without startling her or looking like a beggar.

Also, our convo was in english. Should have opened in the local language. Im so used to talking in english that its my default language now. Anyway she looked east european to me, so i thought it didnt make any difference.

--

Anyway, i wonder how much easier this whole daygame thing would be with 1-2 hot wingwomen. Ill see what i can do about it.

 

[AspiringStoic]

Anyway, i wonder how much easier this whole daygame thing would be with 1-2 hot wingwomen. Ill see what i can do about it.

In daygame? How would that pan out? Like are they with you when you approach and talk to a girl or what kind of setup are you envisioning?

 

[Higher]

Like are they with you when you approach and talk to a girl or what kind of setup are you envisioning?

Hmm yeah, what u say, or maybe having them approaching the girls directly, and then introducing me.

Dunno, just speculating. Anyway i like to fly solo, so it would be a once-in-a-while thing.

 

[Stark]

The early wins create a small "winner effect" that i can ride all day long - and this, along with my "principles", impacts my life in multiple ways.

I love this idea.

I plan to accomplish a small win during the morning hours and ride on the 'winner effect' you described.

Thanks for sharing

Then i see her: long flowing blonde hair, beautiful face, great walk and style. Shes a drop of color in the greyscale of the world.

These days, I ensure to get a few approaches done while it's raining out. Our senses are heightened when it pours, and approaching women has this magical effect. It feels like a scene out of a movie, for her and you.

Maybe i should have made eye contact as i was sitting down near her. I approached her almost out of the blue. But anyway, i was stunned by this girl and i gave it my best shot.

Maybe pre-open while sitting might have helped, but Hey you took the shot!

Doing this always boosts my mood. Feels like im back in control. I kept smiling to myself long after the approach, people around me musta thought im crazy.

The natural high after approaching a stunner is unparalleled.

Biology rewards us with a mix of chemical cocktails in our brain and body (adrenaline, endorphins, dopamine, testosterone) for using our sexual agency.

Hope you finished your packed sandwich right after!

 

[AspiringStoic]

Hmm yeah, what u say, or maybe having them approaching the girls directly, and then introducing me.

Dunno, just speculating. Anyway i like to fly solo, so it would be a once-in-a-while thing.

Hmm. Well, I don't know about girls being next to me when I approach. I do a lot of street approaches, unless the girl(s) are walking around with me all the time and come up and just stand next to me every time I approach I don't see how I can appear to be with a girl. Also I don't know any girl that would be willing to do that let alone open girls for me and then bring me into the convo.

But its an interesting idea. Never thought about it, if you do experiment with it, please let me know what happens.

 

[Higher]

Was in a great mood today and went out for a couple hours. Told myself id approach 10 girls no matter what.

I did approach 10 girls. Got 3 numbers. All decent sets as far as i can tell, so lets see.

Heres the girls.

--

One east european, #closed. Not sure how solid it is tho.

One from a 2set (didnt know they were together). They didnt speak any language i knew. Made a couple jokes and got them to laugh, so its good.

Couple more girls, one left quickly after the opener, the other wasnt really interesting up close (prob married too).

(Lost a chance with a super cute indian-looking girl.)

Older girl with great fashion and nice smile. #closed.

Hot and sweet girl from the Caribbeans, taken.

Another hot and sweet girl, but "im too young for u" (shes 20, and guessed im 30). I couldnt handle this objection properly, but i dont think i could have done much even with her number. Good luck to her dating guys in her age group.

One girl in a horrible mood.

Super cute and friendly tourist girl that agreed to wine tonight, only to send me a vocal later telling me shes not looking for anything sexual. I replied telling her im not looking for anything specific and i like to go with the flow without expectations. If shes in, well see each other. If not, too bad but i understand.

Another super friendly (but taken) girl.

--

Felt great thruout the day. If i could make this my default mood, daygame would be awesome and effortless.

 

[Higher]

Super cute and friendly tourist girl that agreed to wine tonight, only to send me a vocal later telling me shes not looking for anything sexual. I replied telling her im not looking for anything specific and i like to go with the flow without expectations. If shes in, well see each other. If not, too bad but i understand.

Had a date yesterday with this one in her city. Went in without expectations, just wanted to have fun and practice.

It lasted 2h. I bounced us around a couple locations and ran my usual stack (sots, touch, proximity, and sex talk later in the date), then i called it a night. I think i did my best, no PIV notwithstanding.

Thing is, shes "in love" with someone far away that she met back in august at some music festival (maybe one of u players?). They saw each other a handful of times and apparently this guy "checks all the boxes" for what she wants in a relationship (just lol...) and thats why she was "not open to anything sexual" with me. However, by her own admission, theyre friends with benefits.

Her body language was always quite closed. She seemed uncomfortable with my touch and not too thrilled about our hands touching. But probably just mental masturbation. She was ofc totally focused on me during the sex talk, breathing getting heavier, but still with arms and legs crossed, like she was not allowing herself to express what she was feeling.

I felt that inviting her to my city yesterday night would have been out of place. Maybe a false reading on my side, and potentially a frame issue that cost me the lay. I guess i had "break rapport anxiety" - gotta work on this and own my desires more. (I also sympathized instead of empathized with her situation.)

Anyway i made an invitation for today. She seemed down, but prob not. Still hasnt replied to my ping this morning. She had all night to backward rationalize and might now be conflicted, maybe even thinking about our age difference (shes 23 and guessed im 37). And anyway, yesterdays bubble has burst. Too bad.

For next time:
- empathize instead of sympathize. She wants to enjoy the seduction, but might have concerns ull need to address;
- invite the girl no matter what, even if it feels off and shes giving no signs she might accept. ABC. And just look at her quietly if she resists or rejects the idea. My frame would benefit for sure;
- ramp up touch. I feel theres much more i can do there;
- stress the importance of "feeling allowed to express ur desires" and "being aware of the limited time we have on this planet".

Older girl with great fashion and nice smile. #closed.

Will see this one for coffee tomorrow. Ill soon be in vacation, so i dont feel like having a proper date with her just yet.

 

[gameboy]

Hmm interesting. So this girl is fucking someone, but apparently cannot get him to commit. So she met up with you because the guy (at least in her mind) is also seeing other girls.

I recall someone posting here about a similar situation, where he essentially told the girl "Well if he's sleeping around you should do the same, that will help him make up his mind so it works out" and he got the lay. The subcommunication being, if you have sex with me that will help you to rope in the other guy who you're in love with

I thought it was quite a genius move! I don't remember who it was unfortunately, but I think it was a LR from this month or last.

Could give it a shot and see if it works, in case she's still down to meet... since she seemed aroused by your sex talk, she probably wanted it but didn't feel "allowed" to.

 

[Higher]

"Well if he's sleeping around you should do the same, that will help him make up his mind so it works out"

Fuck, now that u mention it, i recall reading this and even commenting on that LR! I also thought it was genius. Totally forgot about it, this was the perfect use-case. I think ive been too "respectful" of her situation in a way.

Unfortunately i think shes gone, but thanks heaps for reminding me! Will save it in my notes. Its a great addition to a good seducers stack.

 

[gameboy]

You could still try over text... "hey baby it was great hanging out with you, I understand your heart is with someone else so if anything ever happens between us just know I won't be hurt if you suddenly decide to break it off... and who knows maybe it will help (other guy) to make up his mind!" ... then soft close to have a drink "just as friends" but conveniently close to your place...

Just an idea, might or might not work!

 

[Higher]

Ah she never replied to my ping, so it felt pretty dead. And i think she said she was gonna leave the country today anyway.

Cant blame her. I didnt make her feel allowed to live out her desires.

Also, i sorta abandoned her. Like, i ran a (i think) decent seduction and then left her all of a sudden without even attempting a close that same night.

Oh well, another lesson in the journey.

Anyway, i didnt mention that she texted a female friend of hers a few times while we were together (she was in the country to visit her). That might have played a role in how closed up my girl was. Like a spooky-cockblock-at-a-distance.

(Altho that ofc doesnt invalidate the fact that i should have run a better process.)

 

[Higher]

An important recap and a reminder to myself of some of the most basic principles in seduction:

1. Always Be Opening
   
   Girls wont open themselves. U gotta open em.
   
   Walk up to her and open. Ping her via text. Initiate.
   
   
2. Always Be Leading
   
   Girls wont lead and escalate on themselves. U gotta lead em.
   
   Get compliance by escalating, and reward / punish accordingly.
   
   Dont punish blindly tho. She might have concerns u need to address.
   
   
3. Always Be Helping
   
   Girls might have concerns about being seduced, even tho they might enjoy the process and even anticipate sex. They wont handle their own concerns. U gotta help em.
   
   Listen carefully and solve the problem. Problems often have the same underlying cause: shes not feeling allowed to experience the seduction. She needs guidance.
   
   Until u handle her concern, inviting her home and escalating physically will always feel out of place. Shell keep her distance.
   
   
4. Always Be Closing
   
   Girls wont close themselves. U gotta close em.
   
   Ask for her number. Ask her out. Invite her home. Escalate to sex.

 

[Higher]

Havent gamed in a while as i was on a 10-days vacation with friends and an old flame of mine. Had a good time, but feels good to be back infield!

Went out 1h today and approached 4 girls. Had a bit of AA initially, but it quickly got better. However, i had some trouble leading the interactions with intent.

Heres two highlights:

• hot and shy Asian girl on a bench
  
  She was in the city until 9pm today. We bounced around some, our energy was decent and we connected a bit, language barrier notwithstanding. Cool gal looking to reinvent herself at this point in her life.
  
  I soft-closed her a couple times to stay one more day in order to visit my city, but she always declined. After ~45mins i decided to leave her. Probably a mistake, but i was not sure on how to move things forward.
  
  Ideally id have taken example from James D and smashed her somewhere public, but i had no clue on how to make it happen. I didnt feel that kind of raw, instant sexual energy with this gal. Likely reason: i didnt escalate properly with touch, proximity and eye contact. Also, convo was a bit too platonic.
  
  Anyway, we exchanged numbers. She replied well to my icebreaker telling me i made her day and shell "remember meeting mr right" lol. I guess thats what my bf-aura does. Also, we both have trips planned to the same country soon. Lets see if well meet again, but the chances are very slim i think.
  
  
• super high-energy uni student girl on the train
  
  We had a few mutual glances as we were seated in front of each other. I opened a couple times, we had quick exchanges and i let them die, as she was working frantically on her computer and i didnt wanna beg for her attention. But we kept glancing at each other.
  
  When i opened the third time we had a longer convo, and our vibe was actually pretty good. Didnt surprise me to hear shes hooked on energy drinks since middle school, she seemed to be on cocaine.
  
  Anyway, didnt #close. I just let the set die, i was passive and not fully present and intentful. In retrospect it would have been very easy to ask for her contact, since we both have an interest for art and computers. A simple "hey btw id love to show u my paintings, maybe ill send u some pics" would have worked. I was a bit confused on what to do, didnt have full control of my intent and therefore of the interaction.

Here the other girls:

• (First, a couple cute girls in separate occasions that i didnt approach due to AA. I couldnt even make proper eye contact. One of them also hovered around me, but i pretended i didnt see her. Lame. Should have just opened.)
  
  
• Central European, #closed. Vibe was good. Shell leave this part of the country in December, so lets see if something goods possible before that.
  
  
• Pretty hot and friendly girl, who ran away immediately after my compliment. Was an interesting set: for some reason i felt like we were old friends, so i had zero AA. It almost felt weird that she left that abruptly lol.

​

Takeaways​

All in all it was a good day. Glad i had some decent interactions after a long break from game.

Still, i was asleep at the wheel a few too many times. I was too friendly and felt "in a haze", like not fully owning my intent and being too passive. I guess im still in vacation-with-friends-mode.

For the next time:

1. wake up! be clear with urself on what u want and own it;
2. escalate properly and bask in the sexual tension (good example here);
3. talk the fuck less;
4. when talking, stay away as much as possible from platonic topics;
5. always be closing.