En's log

[Higher]

@gameboy -

Yeah, it was pretty bad.

Its crazy how i sometimes persist way more when opening/hooking/number-closing vs. at later stages. If anything, it should be the opposite really.

@AspiringStoic -

The initial interaction was ok, but she seemed to be "tolerating" me. Until recently i would have ejected from the set, but this time i focused on escalation and went for the mutual hand caressing test a few times - but she pulled back every time. So i gauged (maybe wrongly) her interest level to be low and the number to be close to a time-waster.

Thats a big part of the reason why i got lazy and didnt wanna chase.

However, my texts were not optimal.

I see your point regarding soft-closing. I like the "testing the waters" principle behind it - it does seem to raise the odds in your favor a bit - but for me i think it comes down to how i formulate it - ie. as an open-ended statement instead of eliciting an answer.

An open-ended soft-close like "hey would love to catch up sometime" does not elicit a direct answer and its easy to dodge. On top of that, some girls will expect you to invite them properly - thats where your direct strategy works. These girls might ignore an open-ended soft-close as its not a "proper" invite.

Additionally, a more direct approach works better with tourists.

Ill improve this. And in future similar situations i will just persist, and i wont be happy until i get a definite answer.

 

[AspiringStoic]

. I like the "testing the waters" principle behind it - it does seem to raise the odds in your favor

How exactly does this play out in your experience?

Do you mean if you said "okay you can tell me all about it over drinks sometime"

And she writes "okay or sure or will do" etc.

Is that a positive answer to a soft close?

And then after a few hours or a day or two lets say you go for the proper invite, do you think that earlier two lines of texting, will play a role in her deciding to agree to come out?

My mind always says if she did answer positively to that earlier text, she might have already been open to actually meeting up. So that two lines of text did not change anything.

If she was already not wanting to or thinking about not going, she would still not come out regardless of that bit of texting.

I am trying to think of a scenario where she is in 2 minds and that a soft close earlier would sway her towards coming out. If she really is in 2 minds, a joke, something that hits her emotionally or something like that might change her emotional state and then asking for the meetup might work as now she is feeling different.

The whole "change her mood, not her mind" principle is at play there.

I am really wondering how a soft close is meant to do that. Maybe it works as a future projection?

I don't really have any data on it, as when I used to do a lot of online dating, I always went for the hard close as soon as I felt there was a connection or that I spiked her emotions. My rule was always hard close within 24-48 hours of the first message.

I am really curious about this. In terms of cold approach, my texting is even more minimal for a contact I have gotten from a cold approach.

Usually its something like this:

Opening text with a call back to something we spoke about in the interaction.

2-3 messages of banter.

1 emotion spiking message.

Then direct invitiation.

After that only figuring out logistics.

I am not a texting expert so I am also looking to improve this aspect of my Game later once I get the initial cold approach skills down.

So thats why I am curious about it. Do you have some personal examples where soft closing has increased your odds and if so in what way do you think it helped?

As I understand it now, it just seems useful to "gauge interest level". If we use her response as a barometer of her interest and then decide if more rapport/spiking buying temperature etc needs to be done before attempting a close then I see it can be useful.

But I am struggling to understand how the soft close itself can increase or decrease our odds and sway her mind one way or another.

Do let me know your experiences.

 

[Higher]

Do you mean if you said "okay you can tell me all about it over drinks sometime"

And she writes "okay or sure or will do" etc.

Is that a positive answer to a soft close?

And then after a few hours or a day or two lets say you go for the proper invite, do you think that earlier two lines of texting, will play a role in her deciding to agree to come out?

If she responds positively, i immediately ask for her schedule or suggest a couple possible dates myself. I dont really wait that long.

Usually its something like this:

Opening text with a call back to something we spoke about in the interaction.

2-3 messages of banter.

1 emotion spiking message.

Then direct invitiation.

After that only figuring out logistics.

I think were doing the same thing.

What u call "direct invitation" sounds like something like "hey ure cool, we should grab drinks sometime", cause u figure out logistics later.

If u mean instead "hey ure cool, we should grab drinks sometime, what about sat at 7pm?" (ie. hard-closing right away), i feel this is lower odds because it sounds like u wanna lock her schedule down right now, and that might trigger some bad knee-jerk reactions.

I dunno about online dating, never did it, so probably its a good strategy there.

If we use her response as a barometer of her interest and then decide if more rapport/spiking buying temperature etc needs to be done before attempting a close then I see it can be useful.

This is what i mean by "increasing ur odds".

Soft-closing is useless in a vacuum - gotta always followup with a) hard-close if shes greenish, or b) pulling back and building up rapport/comfort before trying again.

Its really a form of escalation.

 

[AspiringStoic]

This is what i mean by "increasing ur odds".

Soft-closing is useless in a vacuum - gotta always followup with a) hard-close if shes greenish, or b) pulling back and building up rapport/comfort before trying again.

Its really a form of escalation.

Ahh got it. Now I understand. It was just a mix up of terminology on my part then. I did not understand it properly.

What u call "direct invitation" sounds like something like "hey ure cool, we should grab drinks sometime", cause u figure out logistics later.

Yes exactly. You are right, we are doing the same thing. Only thing is maybe I am a bit baised against too text game. I had a porn addicition and whenever I spent too much time texting and then got frustrated, I would switch over and watch porn. Now since I have left that behind, I try to spend as little time texting.

 

[Higher]

Gorgeous blonde girl, incredible body, great smile.

Just approached her but let her go.

Why?

I was yet again looking for these fucking signs of interest (and thinking im too old for her) instead of escalating.

 

[Curwen]

Yep. Game is an arena where we expose all kinds of automatic and unconscious responses and beliefs in ourselves. It’s painful but beautiful. It is always better to be the man in the arena than some random person by the sidelines (Steven Pressfield said that, I’m probably misquoting a bit).

Inspiring journal

 

[Higher]

@Curwen -

100% that. Thanks for stopping by!

 

[Higher]

Never look back​

Not much to report.

Approached a few girls recently, and another stunner yesterday. She was going to see a friend, so we exchanged numbers and i ejected immediately afterwards. In hindsight i should have at least walked with her a bit to make the number more solid. She replied neither to the icebreaker nor to the morning text today. Too bad, i felt the set was good albeit very short: long handshake, eye contact was good, and she asked my name and where i live.

Its that time again where im not getting any results worth of note apart from a number of ghosts, and where i feel like im hunting hard but my prey is slipping away from my grasp. Pretty tough to build abundance this way, and im actually starting to believe its impossible. OTOH, its also true that im constantly uncovering serious gaps in my game and patching them up.

(A minor factor at play could also be that girls are now in vacation or just back and are still riding the high - and possibly the cock - from it.)

Im experimenting more with 60yocs stuff and its real fun. Focusing on calibrated escalation really feels like a rabbit hole of new possibilities. The most important shifts in mindset have been these:

• realizing that the pressure is on her, not on u; and
• displaying way less emotions and reacting way less to what she says.

Such a hugely positive change for me, especially cause i always come across as a nice and empathic bf candidate. Im glad i got hold of this material and im still studying it to deeply internalize its message.

Wish i discovered it earlier, but its ok. Always look onward. Never look back. Today is a brand new day where new cool ppl might be met and new exciting things might be built. Dont waste time thinking about what has been.

 

[Higher]

Super cute Czech girl. Tall, great smile and very shy. Red dress.

I approach indirect as soon as i see her, without thinking much about it, then go direct. Shes immediately giggly and smiles shyly. I put out my hand, she takes it. We lock hands, firmly, for a good amount of time, barely saying a word and looking at each other smiling. Its the most "its on" moment i had in a while. With the corner of my eye i spot a couple girls as they stop by and start looking at us while smiling and talking - probably excited for her.

I try to do some chit-chat, but we have quite a bit of a language barrier. (Probably a good use case for Google Translate.) Shes a bit hesitant to continue, but i tell her, im a good guy, lets have a walk and grab a coffee, its on me. Then i shut up and just look at her with a half-smile. She giggles and thinks, then thinks and giggles, then says, mmmmm no. I keep looking at her for a couple seconds, then slowly smile and wave her goodbye.

Probably i asked her for too much compliance too fast. Building more rapport thru GTranslate woulda helped. Could also be that this was a bit too risky for her anyway. In any case, it was clear to me that she was attracted, but she had to say no.

Would be interesting to feel what she felt, both in set and later. And who knows if things would have unfolded differently had we met each other again later.

Anyway i reach the station and i spot this tall, all-the-right-shapes-in-the-right-spots black beauty. Were walking in the same direction, then she turns to look at me with half a smile. I look at her and open direct, zero hesitation, but as soon as she talks i realize shes a tranny and quickly bid her ciao.

Daygame always delivers.

 

[Higher]

Good session today too, albeit unfruitful.

Approached 7 girls in 1h30, but even the girls that react well with smiles / giggles / looking down / flipping their hair / eye contact and are single ultimately reject me.

I dont see anything in my game that might trigger any knee-jerk reaction, apart from maybe coming off too polished. It really seems that girls right now are in the post-coital phase after vacations, and are not really in the mood to meet yet another bad boy that might break their heart.

Ive got no way to test this apart from keeping doing what im doing without changing anything, and taking note when good results start coming in. Might really be a seasonal thing.

Happy about my mental state tho. Still not feeling much of a winner and very far from abundance, but at least i can approach pretty much as often as i want in a variety of situations with barely any AA, and im not rushing towards / chasing any girl at all. My side projects also distract me from game enough to maintain my sanity.

Sent a videonote to the stunner i approached a few days ago. Im not expecting much out of it, but at least i now tried whatever i could.

 

[AspiringStoic]

Good session today too, albeit unfruitful.

Approached 7 girls in 1h30, but even the girls that react well with smiles / giggles / looking down / flipping their hair / eye contact and are single ultimately reject me.

I dont see anything in my game that might trigger any knee-jerk reaction, apart from maybe coming off too polished. It really seems that girls right now are in the post-coital phase after vacations, and are not really in the mood to meet yet another bad boy that might break their heart.

Ive got no way to test this apart from keeping doing what im doing without changing anything, and taking note when good results start coming in. Might really be a seasonal thing.

Happy about my mental state tho. Still not feeling much of a winner and very far from abundance, but at least i can approach pretty much as often as i want in a variety of situations with barely any AA, and im not rushing towards / chasing any girl at all. My side projects also distract me from game enough to maintain my sanity.

Sent a videonote to the stunner i approached a few days ago. Im not expecting much out of it, but at least i now tried whatever i could.

At the end of the day, lets not forget that there is a significant amount of randomness involved in daytime cold approach. Our mind always tries to find a reason for everything to make sense of the world. I think that is one the hardest things about cold approach understanding the randomness.

Not just understanding it logically but emotionally adapting to that randomness. Stick in there. Relax and do what you are doing. I am sure things will turn around.

If this stage really persists for a long time then you can troubleshoot to see if you need to change anything. You got this.

 

[Higher]

Our mind always tries to find a reason for everything to make sense of the world.

Not just understanding it logically but emotionally adapting to that randomness.

Totally.

Im fascinated by patterns and always trying to spot them. After all, there are so many variables involved in this thing - first and foremost, the fact that were dealing with fellow human beings - that i wanna make sure i can fully control what i CAN control, and if things dont pan out anyway, well, cant do much about it and i can be at peace.

Love ur feedbacks man, always full of good advice and positivity. Thanks for stopping by again!

 

[AspiringStoic]

Totally.

Im fascinated by patterns and always trying to spot them. After all, there are so many variables involved in this thing - first and foremost, the fact that were dealing with fellow human beings - that i wanna make sure i can fully control what i CAN control, and if things dont pan out anyway, well, cant do much about it and i can be at peace.

Love ur feedbacks man, always full of good advice and positivity. Thanks for stopping by again!

Thanks. I am happy that you find them helpful.

Your journal is inspiring. In a day and age where people in their 20s or even teens are "giving up" and whining about everything and doing everything except taking action, its great to see what you are doing.

I guess you have already had more success than most looksmaxxers and blackpillers and whatever other category of complainers have had.

 

[Higher]

Out at lunchtime, met 8 girls in 1h15. Some of these were girls i didnt really approach. I just saw they had a ring on their left ring finger and let them go. Usually i approach anyway, cause some girls wear it for fashion, but today i didnt wanna waste too much time.

Anyway, still nothing today. Got one number from a French girl that didnt pan out. Had a (to me) great set with an Asian girl, we had a super long handshake and eye contact. However she "had to meet a friend" and i just waved her goodbye.

Still not clear if its a seasonal thing or if im coming off too strong with this fast escalation stuff. Its a great screen tho, gotta give it that. Prob too good. Will keep doing it and recalibrate if things dont improve.

I might go out again this evening. During the day i meet tons of girls that "leave tomorrow" and "are busy" (prob just polite rejections), so gaming in the evening might be a good screen for girls who stay longer.

 

[gameboy]

Yeah its funny, I get "I'm leaving tomorrow" all the time too. Is that just an attempt to reject? I mean it could also be an invitation to escalate rapidly. Next time I'll ask them what their plans are for their last night.

 

[Higher]

For some its for sure a rejection, but i think many of them genuinely leave tomorrow.

My reasoning is that many girls will probably wanna spend the last day of vacation just walking around in the city theyre in. So i suspect the best time to meet tourist girls is really in the evening. For resident girls, its probably the day, as theyll hang out with friends in the evening.

Dunno, maybe just mental masturbation.

 

[gameboy]

Yeah it's speculation for sure. Last time I got told "I'm leaving tomorrow" it did indeed feel, from the girl's tone of voice, like she wasn't interested. Unless I interpreted that wrong... which is always a possibility since I'm pretty new to this still. Maybe it was my anxiety talking that wanted me to eject asap.

But I mean logically... how is "it's my last day" supposed to reject you? It could also mean "you better take me home quick" hahaha... I'm just half kidding. Next time I will ask the girl what her plans are for the last night, just to be sure. Maybe she has none!

 

[Higher]

@gameboy -

U might be right.

I tried to make things happen with girls that gave me this objection, but as i recall it never amounted to anything. OTOH, i also just started using 60yocs fast escalation stuff, so who knows if things would have unfolded differently had i used his approach.

I suppose girls that give this objection are not really in a "im horny and looking for D on my last day here" frame - theyre actually stressed and thinking and sorting things out for the next day, and ready to wrap up and move on to the next adventure, or make it safely home. The last thing they want right now is a spike in their risk exposure.

However, it might be possible to turn them on to the point where they might accept ur lead even in such circumstances - but only if theyre open to it and if the whole scenario (quite unusual for most girls) triggers their curiosity switch while keeping their comfort to "pretty high".

I suspect the name of the game in this case is: screen hard and be efficient. U might pull a turnaround, and for sure its good to try (ill keep trying for sure), but its prob more efficient to just move on and meet other ppl.

--

Went to the city after work too, as the French girl from today seemed game, but alas she flaked (tbh we prob had a misunderstanding on her schedule).

Gamed 1h anyway. Met 5 girls: 2 were taken, 3 rejected me. As far as i can tell, i took very good shots in all of these sets (including the ones from lunchtime today).

The last girl was especially hot, and especially bitter against men. Like, she didnt even wanna tell me her real name - and she tested me constantly. We had a short instadate, and i tried as much as possible to keep the sexual tension high and avoid any frame battle, but it was quite hard with such a closed-off girl at my current level. Very interesting tho, i wish i had more of these. If i could train with such sets every day, my frame control would become ironclad in weeks.

Im tired but content. Once again i gave it all i could.

 

[Higher]

Only one approach today. Kept it informational tho, so it doesnt really count.

Tried to create the right conditions for another couple approaches afterwards, but one didnt pan out (i was on a tram, saw her at the last second as she was walking outside but i missed the stop) and the other was too old up close.

So thats that for today.

 

[Higher]

Ok, time for a reality check.

Its been 5 months since i stepped up my daygame. Before that, i was approaching only a few girls every now and then. Since march or so ive been approaching 40-50 girls every month. I can dial this number up a notch, but for now it is what it is.

My goal has not changed since i started this journal: building abundance. Possibly, of the absolute type.

(For clarity: what i refer to as "foreigners" below are either tourists in my country, or girls ive met abroad while traveling (i traveled a fair bit). "Local girls" are girls living in my country.)

I realize its pretty much useless to go for foreigners if i really wanna build absolute abundance. Ofc they provide great opportunities to practice the tools of the trade and they reinforce a relative abundance frame, but i dont consider them as contributing to my goal cause of the whole long-distance thing.

(Tho of course the argument can be made that if i meet a Polish girl in my upcoming trip to Warsaw that i fall head-over-heels for and she reciprocates, i might just keep in touch with her and see if she can relocate to my country at her own expenses in the near future. However its a pretty tricky scenario, so lets leave it out for now.)

Anyway, in the last 5 months ive met (unsurprisingly) a bunch of foreigners and (quite surprisingly) only a few local girls that made it past the phone number stage. So these are all girls that seemed down to hang out.

If i filter foreigners out, only 7 girls are left.

Of these, only 1 id have loved to get to know better and see what would have been possible with (and ofc i burned her to a crisp). Two more might be interesting too, but one ghosted me (she might come back), and i didnt hang out yet with the other, so i cant confirm. The others didnt pass the filter due to attitude problems, or they turned me off in some other ways (eg. smokers, have face jobs, etc).

These are horribly low numbers for the amount of work im putting in. Even if i considered proven the hypothesis that july and august are the worst months for daygame, it feels like i barely got anything done. I hoped i would be living in way more abundance at this point.

Troubleshooting​

Im aware of the gaps in my dating game and im working to fix them.

But i see 2 main problems: 1) not enough volume, and 2) gaming the wrong crowd.

Regarding #1, as i said i can increase the volume a bit. I passed up quite a few chances, and botched some approaches in which either the girl didnt even hear me or i didnt show intent. I also typically game in english. Theres a lotta expats here and everybody speaks english, but it might be way too low odds for daygame and for sure triggers at least some rejections due to girls preferring to speak their native language.

Regarding #2, what i typically do is scouring touristic areas in the city and staying away from busy streets and malls. The reason so far was that i didnt wanna game girls that are rushing from place A to place B and barely register other ppl in their consciousness. However, its no wonder ive met tons of foreigners so far.

Solutions​

1. game way more in the local language. No problem - i started yesterday already. Ill test this in isolation for some days / weeks. This might be the biggest improvement, and im not sure why i havent focused on it until now (maybe cause ive been putting all my energies into improving everything else game-wise).
2. try other venues - eg. busy streets, malls, cafes.
3. integrate other forms of game. Maybe online is the thing. Nightgame? Classes?

Anyway, have i lost my mind? Are those numbers actually reasonable given the approaches i did? I know its hard for everyone.

Do i hold unrealistic standards for what constitutes a "girl i wanna get to know better and see whats possible with"?