En's log

[Higher]

Havent been on the boards lately, so here a quick update.

Im still seeing the girl from my last lr. Happy i met her, shes def mltr material.

Daygame-wise, i did only 5 approaches in the last week or so.

One was a sweet (and taken) Spanish tourist yesterday. Really good set with sots and escalation - i actually felt good even tho she ultimately rejected me.

A bubbly US tourist a few days ago seemed super happy to meet me. Set was good like the one with the Spanish girl, and she agreed on drinks - only to block me after my icebreaker lol. I dont seem to be able to conquer the hearts and the pussies of these US chicks as of yet.

Approached a pretty hot girl today that gave me iois, but she put on a poker face and rushed away after my compliment.

A milf with fake boobs told me (also with poker face), im not sure i wanna have coffee with u. I could have prob turned her around as i did with other girls in the past, but i thought to myself, why? Shes not enthusiastic to meet me. Why should i invest time here? I quickly screened her out and bade her farewell.

Last girl brushed me off.

Im not in the best mood for daygame, not having much fun. I still get iois, but i rarely get enthusiastic to the point of just going for it and making things happen. Apart from a very few exceptions, im not even kicking myself for letting them go.

Its a recurring phase, and it usually means that im putting too much stake in this thing, like my worth depends on it. Good thing i have a "get in a better mood" routine, will focus on it in the next few days.

I did a light upgrade of my fashion and im getting used to it. Feels pretty good.

I also got back in touch with a girl i approached long ago, we only had a 1st date and shes past due for a good Dose of D. She seems down, but its a pain in the ass to text with her so ill prob call her tonight.

 

[Stark]

Im still seeing the girl from my last lr. Happy i met her, shes def mltr material.

Glad to hear that

Good thing i have a "get in a better mood" routine, will focus on it in the next few days.

Not sure if you have written about this already. Else please share what you do specifically

 

[Higher]

@Stark, thanks man.

please share what you do specifically

Sure, its nothing mind-blowing but here it is.

First of all, the problem is that i expect myself to succeed - and to do it asap. Its like performance anxiety. Failing this expectation causes me to project a bad vibe outwards, and this loops back inwards. I feel like i lose control and cant get anything good done. Loser effect.

So my general approach to fix this is to remind myself of what i care about in life (i have a list of "principles") and to work on it.

More concretely, i start by getting something small done in the morning. It can be anything i care about - doing a sport session, having quality food or even fasting a bit, cleaning my place, replying to some emails, getting something fixed, helping someone out, learning something new. These are things i do anyway during the day when im off work, but doing them in the early morning and truly appreciating the feeling of accomplishment really lifts my state for the entire day. These are what i call "early wins".

The early wins create a small "winner effect" that i can ride all day long - and this, along with my "principles", impacts my life in multiple ways.

When im working, im more confident with responsibilities and i find better and more creative solutions to problems. Im more positive with others and more willing to help them out too.

When i travel, im very present in the here and now as i enjoy the feeling of discovering new places and foods. I love traveling, and i do it often as i can work remotely. Being a tourist abroad helps me feel like a tourist in my country.

When im out, i take my mind off expectations. Im no longer "trying to get something out of people" - im just being sociable. Im spreading the good vibes around. That feels great on its own. And if that gets me some pussy, even better. After all, in the words of Steve Jabba, "sex is everywhere". We do live in a world full of pussibilities.

The overall feeling that drives all of this is: im at the bottom and i can start to climb back up. Im doing the right thing here and now. The value im gaining for myself allows me to be more of a giver than a taker with others.

Small problem is, this happens in phases. When in a down phase, i have to remind myself of how to get back up, as its not automatic.

But its fine - i can ride the down phase until the winner effect kicks in, and with time thisll hopefully become a habit.

 

[Higher]

Just took a great shot with a stunner. This was borderline stalking lol and its not something i normally do, but i HAD TO take this chance.

This took 10-15 minutes in total.

So im otw back to the station after a 1h daygame session. Its pouring water and ice, and the streets are crowded. I managed to approach 2 girls, and im far from being satisfied. Then i see her: long flowing blonde hair, beautiful face, great walk and style. Shes a drop of color in the greyscale of the world.

She quickly glances at me with her big blue eyes as im stuffing my face with a sandwich. Not cool. I wait a few seconds, then im like, fuck it, i gotta talk to her. So i quickly pack the half-eaten sandwich away, clean up my face and think, alright, lets go.

Shes walking fast and i lose her in the crowd. Then i spot her 10mt away as shes rushing towards a tram. She hops in, i hop in.

The tram is packed. She finds a seat and listens to music. The only free spot for me is near the fucking door, standing, as im trying to make way for ppl to get in and out. But at least im in her full range of vision and she can check me out if she wants to, so thats good.

The tram progressively gets emptier as we approach the terminus. Im trying to look cool and not to make eye contact, and at the same time im thinking about how to approach her as seamlessly as possible. Hopefully she hasnt recognized me from earlier.

A seat near her frees up. Its a chance, and i take it. I sit down, wait a few seconds, then go for it.

I open informational about a famous coffee place in the area (pretty lame, but whatever). Shes a deer in the headlights, like omg, a human being is talking to me?? We do a quick back and forth before hopping off. I see shes itching to leave, but i tell her, hey btw, wait a sec, i also wanted to tell u that u look lovely, while gently touching her elbow. She thanks me, but shes still motioning to go. Shes not comfortable, so i smile, take my distance and ask her, u going to ur bf right now? Shes like, mmm yes! Who knows if thats true or not, but im like, well i had to try. Bye bye.

Maybe i should have made eye contact as i was sitting down near her. I approached her almost out of the blue. But anyway, i was stunned by this girl and i gave it my best shot. Doing this always boosts my mood. Feels like im back in control. I kept smiling to myself long after the approach, people around me musta thought im crazy.

I dont like following girls around, but with the afterwork crowd and all there was no way to approach without startling her or looking like a beggar.

Also, our convo was in english. Should have opened in the local language. Im so used to talking in english that its my default language now. Anyway she looked east european to me, so i thought it didnt make any difference.

--

Anyway, i wonder how much easier this whole daygame thing would be with 1-2 hot wingwomen. Ill see what i can do about it.

 

[AspiringStoic]

Anyway, i wonder how much easier this whole daygame thing would be with 1-2 hot wingwomen. Ill see what i can do about it.

In daygame? How would that pan out? Like are they with you when you approach and talk to a girl or what kind of setup are you envisioning?

 

[Higher]

Like are they with you when you approach and talk to a girl or what kind of setup are you envisioning?

Hmm yeah, what u say, or maybe having them approaching the girls directly, and then introducing me.

Dunno, just speculating. Anyway i like to fly solo, so it would be a once-in-a-while thing.

 

[Stark]

The early wins create a small "winner effect" that i can ride all day long - and this, along with my "principles", impacts my life in multiple ways.

I love this idea.

I plan to accomplish a small win during the morning hours and ride on the 'winner effect' you described.

Thanks for sharing

Then i see her: long flowing blonde hair, beautiful face, great walk and style. Shes a drop of color in the greyscale of the world.

These days, I ensure to get a few approaches done while it's raining out. Our senses are heightened when it pours, and approaching women has this magical effect. It feels like a scene out of a movie, for her and you.

Maybe i should have made eye contact as i was sitting down near her. I approached her almost out of the blue. But anyway, i was stunned by this girl and i gave it my best shot.

Maybe pre-open while sitting might have helped, but Hey you took the shot!

Doing this always boosts my mood. Feels like im back in control. I kept smiling to myself long after the approach, people around me musta thought im crazy.

The natural high after approaching a stunner is unparalleled.

Biology rewards us with a mix of chemical cocktails in our brain and body (adrenaline, endorphins, dopamine, testosterone) for using our sexual agency.

Hope you finished your packed sandwich right after!

 

[AspiringStoic]

Hmm yeah, what u say, or maybe having them approaching the girls directly, and then introducing me.

Dunno, just speculating. Anyway i like to fly solo, so it would be a once-in-a-while thing.

Hmm. Well, I don't know about girls being next to me when I approach. I do a lot of street approaches, unless the girl(s) are walking around with me all the time and come up and just stand next to me every time I approach I don't see how I can appear to be with a girl. Also I don't know any girl that would be willing to do that let alone open girls for me and then bring me into the convo.

But its an interesting idea. Never thought about it, if you do experiment with it, please let me know what happens.

 

[Higher]

Was in a great mood today and went out for a couple hours. Told myself id approach 10 girls no matter what.

I did approach 10 girls. Got 3 numbers. All decent sets as far as i can tell, so lets see.

Heres the girls.

--

One east european, #closed. Not sure how solid it is tho.

One from a 2set (didnt know they were together). They didnt speak any language i knew. Made a couple jokes and got them to laugh, so its good.

Couple more girls, one left quickly after the opener, the other wasnt really interesting up close (prob married too).

(Lost a chance with a super cute indian-looking girl.)

Older girl with great fashion and nice smile. #closed.

Hot and sweet girl from the Caribbeans, taken.

Another hot and sweet girl, but "im too young for u" (shes 20, and guessed im 30). I couldnt handle this objection properly, but i dont think i could have done much even with her number. Good luck to her dating guys in her age group.

One girl in a horrible mood.

Super cute and friendly tourist girl that agreed to wine tonight, only to send me a vocal later telling me shes not looking for anything sexual. I replied telling her im not looking for anything specific and i like to go with the flow without expectations. If shes in, well see each other. If not, too bad but i understand.

Another super friendly (but taken) girl.

--

Felt great thruout the day. If i could make this my default mood, daygame would be awesome and effortless.

 

[Higher]

Super cute and friendly tourist girl that agreed to wine tonight, only to send me a vocal later telling me shes not looking for anything sexual. I replied telling her im not looking for anything specific and i like to go with the flow without expectations. If shes in, well see each other. If not, too bad but i understand.

Had a date yesterday with this one in her city. Went in without expectations, just wanted to have fun and practice.

It lasted 2h. I bounced us around a couple locations and ran my usual stack (sots, touch, proximity, and sex talk later in the date), then i called it a night. I think i did my best, no PIV notwithstanding.

Thing is, shes "in love" with someone far away that she met back in august at some music festival (maybe one of u players?). They saw each other a handful of times and apparently this guy "checks all the boxes" for what she wants in a relationship (just lol...) and thats why she was "not open to anything sexual" with me. However, by her own admission, theyre friends with benefits.

Her body language was always quite closed. She seemed uncomfortable with my touch and not too thrilled about our hands touching. But probably just mental masturbation. She was ofc totally focused on me during the sex talk, breathing getting heavier, but still with arms and legs crossed, like she was not allowing herself to express what she was feeling.

I felt that inviting her to my city yesterday night would have been out of place. Maybe a false reading on my side, and potentially a frame issue that cost me the lay. I guess i had "break rapport anxiety" - gotta work on this and own my desires more. (I also sympathized instead of empathized with her situation.)

Anyway i made an invitation for today. She seemed down, but prob not. Still hasnt replied to my ping this morning. She had all night to backward rationalize and might now be conflicted, maybe even thinking about our age difference (shes 23 and guessed im 37). And anyway, yesterdays bubble has burst. Too bad.

For next time:
- empathize instead of sympathize. She wants to enjoy the seduction, but might have concerns ull need to address;
- invite the girl no matter what, even if it feels off and shes giving no signs she might accept. ABC. And just look at her quietly if she resists or rejects the idea. My frame would benefit for sure;
- ramp up touch. I feel theres much more i can do there;
- stress the importance of "feeling allowed to express ur desires" and "being aware of the limited time we have on this planet".

Older girl with great fashion and nice smile. #closed.

Will see this one for coffee tomorrow. Ill soon be in vacation, so i dont feel like having a proper date with her just yet.

 

[gameboy]

Hmm interesting. So this girl is fucking someone, but apparently cannot get him to commit. So she met up with you because the guy (at least in her mind) is also seeing other girls.

I recall someone posting here about a similar situation, where he essentially told the girl "Well if he's sleeping around you should do the same, that will help him make up his mind so it works out" and he got the lay. The subcommunication being, if you have sex with me that will help you to rope in the other guy who you're in love with

I thought it was quite a genius move! I don't remember who it was unfortunately, but I think it was a LR from this month or last.

Could give it a shot and see if it works, in case she's still down to meet... since she seemed aroused by your sex talk, she probably wanted it but didn't feel "allowed" to.

 

[Higher]

"Well if he's sleeping around you should do the same, that will help him make up his mind so it works out"

Fuck, now that u mention it, i recall reading this and even commenting on that LR! I also thought it was genius. Totally forgot about it, this was the perfect use-case. I think ive been too "respectful" of her situation in a way.

Unfortunately i think shes gone, but thanks heaps for reminding me! Will save it in my notes. Its a great addition to a good seducers stack.

 

[gameboy]

You could still try over text... "hey baby it was great hanging out with you, I understand your heart is with someone else so if anything ever happens between us just know I won't be hurt if you suddenly decide to break it off... and who knows maybe it will help (other guy) to make up his mind!" ... then soft close to have a drink "just as friends" but conveniently close to your place...

Just an idea, might or might not work!

 

[Higher]

Ah she never replied to my ping, so it felt pretty dead. And i think she said she was gonna leave the country today anyway.

Cant blame her. I didnt make her feel allowed to live out her desires.

Also, i sorta abandoned her. Like, i ran a (i think) decent seduction and then left her all of a sudden without even attempting a close that same night.

Oh well, another lesson in the journey.

Anyway, i didnt mention that she texted a female friend of hers a few times while we were together (she was in the country to visit her). That might have played a role in how closed up my girl was. Like a spooky-cockblock-at-a-distance.

(Altho that ofc doesnt invalidate the fact that i should have run a better process.)

 

[Higher]

An important recap and a reminder to myself of some of the most basic principles in seduction:

1. Always Be Opening
   
   Girls wont open themselves. U gotta open em.
   
   Walk up to her and open. Ping her via text. Initiate.
   
   
2. Always Be Leading
   
   Girls wont lead and escalate on themselves. U gotta lead em.
   
   Get compliance by escalating, and reward / punish accordingly.
   
   Dont punish blindly tho. She might have concerns u need to address.
   
   
3. Always Be Helping
   
   Girls might have concerns about being seduced, even tho they might enjoy the process and even anticipate sex. They wont handle their own concerns. U gotta help em.
   
   Listen carefully and solve the problem. Problems often have the same underlying cause: shes not feeling allowed to experience the seduction. She needs guidance.
   
   Until u handle her concern, inviting her home and escalating physically will always feel out of place. Shell keep her distance.
   
   
4. Always Be Closing
   
   Girls wont close themselves. U gotta close em.
   
   Ask for her number. Ask her out. Invite her home. Escalate to sex.

 

[Higher]

Havent gamed in a while as i was on a 10-days vacation with friends and an old flame of mine. Had a good time, but feels good to be back infield!

Went out 1h today and approached 4 girls. Had a bit of AA initially, but it quickly got better. However, i had some trouble leading the interactions with intent.

Heres two highlights:

• hot and shy Asian girl on a bench
  
  She was in the city until 9pm today. We bounced around some, our energy was decent and we connected a bit, language barrier notwithstanding. Cool gal looking to reinvent herself at this point in her life.
  
  I soft-closed her a couple times to stay one more day in order to visit my city, but she always declined. After ~45mins i decided to leave her. Probably a mistake, but i was not sure on how to move things forward.
  
  Ideally id have taken example from James D and smashed her somewhere public, but i had no clue on how to make it happen. I didnt feel that kind of raw, instant sexual energy with this gal. Likely reason: i didnt escalate properly with touch, proximity and eye contact. Also, convo was a bit too platonic.
  
  Anyway, we exchanged numbers. She replied well to my icebreaker telling me i made her day and shell "remember meeting mr right" lol. I guess thats what my bf-aura does. Also, we both have trips planned to the same country soon. Lets see if well meet again, but the chances are very slim i think.
  
  
• super high-energy uni student girl on the train
  
  We had a few mutual glances as we were seated in front of each other. I opened a couple times, we had quick exchanges and i let them die, as she was working frantically on her computer and i didnt wanna beg for her attention. But we kept glancing at each other.
  
  When i opened the third time we had a longer convo, and our vibe was actually pretty good. Didnt surprise me to hear shes hooked on energy drinks since middle school, she seemed to be on cocaine.
  
  Anyway, didnt #close. I just let the set die, i was passive and not fully present and intentful. In retrospect it would have been very easy to ask for her contact, since we both have an interest for art and computers. A simple "hey btw id love to show u my paintings, maybe ill send u some pics" would have worked. I was a bit confused on what to do, didnt have full control of my intent and therefore of the interaction.

Here the other girls:

• (First, a couple cute girls in separate occasions that i didnt approach due to AA. I couldnt even make proper eye contact. One of them also hovered around me, but i pretended i didnt see her. Lame. Should have just opened.)
  
  
• Central European, #closed. Vibe was good. Shell leave this part of the country in December, so lets see if something goods possible before that.
  
  
• Pretty hot and friendly girl, who ran away immediately after my compliment. Was an interesting set: for some reason i felt like we were old friends, so i had zero AA. It almost felt weird that she left that abruptly lol.

​

Takeaways​

All in all it was a good day. Glad i had some decent interactions after a long break from game.

Still, i was asleep at the wheel a few too many times. I was too friendly and felt "in a haze", like not fully owning my intent and being too passive. I guess im still in vacation-with-friends-mode.

For the next time:

1. wake up! be clear with urself on what u want and own it;
2. escalate properly and bask in the sexual tension (good example here);
3. talk the fuck less;
4. when talking, stay away as much as possible from platonic topics;
5. always be closing.

 

[Higher]

Met only 30-40 girls while daygaming in the last couple months, but ill still chalk it up as a success.

Here the highlights (from least recent to most recent) along with the takeaways:

• fashionable black girl (local, ~30yo)

Set was not good, i was a bit too needy and all over the place. Almost chasing her. Didnt keep my cool.​

​

We exchanged numbers but she ghosted me after i said no to her question "do u go to church?" lol. I guess that was her excuse to bail.​

​

TAKEAWAY: always gauge her energy and interest level, then display slightly less.​

• asian mother (tourist, 35yo)

Set was good, she followed my lead but she told me she has family in her country, she was here only for work and leaving the next day. We didnt exchange numbers but agreed to meet up later at a specific location for wine.​

​

We did meet up later but she quickly told me she "had to buy something for her baby", and we parted ways immediately thereafter.​

​

Guess she didnt wanna be "that girl", so thats fair enough.​

​

TAKEAWAY: leaving her was probably a mistake. Next time ill stay in set till the end, but i dont see how anything could have happened with this girl anyway.​

• fake-lipped but beautiful and young central european girl (local, ~26yo)

Set was great, from eye contact to leading. I always have a strong bf-vibe, so this time i ramped up touch a bit in comparison with my previous sets - eg. resting my hand on her thigh a couple seconds longer than normal, pulling her closer, etc. I wanted to play around with more of a lover-vibe. We then exchanged numbers and agreed on getting wine some day.​

​

Problem is, she was urgently looking for a new job and i was impatient via texts and sorta pushed to meet instead of showing more empathy. She agreed to the soft-close but ghosted me after the hard-close. Probably felt i was overall too eager and didnt really care about her.​

​

I guess i could ping her again, but honestly i dont care that much.​

​

TAKEAWAY: chill the fuck down and stop being a fucking robot. Her concerns matter. Also, agree on a specific date in person instead of leaving it too vague.​

• west european student girl (tourist, 23yo)

Good set albeit short, as she was waiting for the guy shes staying at and whom she visits sometime (tho she told me later "its purely platonic", and i think its true). We exchanged numbers quickly. Texts were good and we met up later for some wine.​

​

Meet was good with touch, flirting and eye contact - tho again ive been too bf-like. I invited her to my city, but she declined. I made no big deal out of it and we walked towards the station. We kissed, then switched to making out, then went on a bench to make out again. I touched her all over. She was comfortable with me but not touching me much.​

​

It was too cold for public sex and i didnt wanna pay for a hotel room, but i felt shed have given me a bunch of LMR anyway. Her mind was somewhere else - probably still thinking about her recent breakup, and my bf-vibe didnt help for sure. I invited her again to my city a few times, but to no avail ("ill text u next time im in town"). So i called it an evening and we kissed goodbye.​

​

TAKEAWAY: tone the bf-crap down. Bring it to like 30%. Its also hard for me to gauge my bf/lover ratio, but if girls slow-game me, my bf-% must be sky-high.​

• east european single mother (tourist, ~30yo)

Incredible sexual tension with this one right from the get-go with very intense eye contact, touch and proximity. We were basically eye-fucking each other the entire time without talking much (courtesy the language barrier). I think i could have kissed her within 5 minutes after meeting her.​

​

But i started thinking of my bad logistics, and she had to go to her friends home to recharge her phone, so i just went for the number. Ofc nothing more happened with this girl - prob also due to the earlier relatively intense escalation.​

​

TAKEAWAY: again, i left her. Stay in set till the end. Forget about phone numbers. Its now or never. Alternatively, touch less, and in general calibrate the escalation better. Im still trying to find the right mix for the girl im with at any one time.​

• asian flight attendant (tourist, 32yo)

Decent set, but she was a bit aloof or reserved and i was def higher-energy than her. Also, my bf-vibe was still there.​

​

We met again for wine in the evening. We had good energy and she actually opened up quite a bit. At the end of it i suggested we met in my city the next day. She said "maybe" but ended up bailing.​

​

TAKEAWAY: the right move was to agree on another meet in her city the next day, ramp things up and go for the close there and then. Also, match her energy and interest levels.​

• west european girl (tourist, ~30)

This was one of the few sets where i was calm and more focused on sexual energy. I made a lot of pauses, connected less and switched quite quickly to SOTs. She told me im very direct - which i take as a good sign.​

​

She filled up the silence a few times and always followed my lead, but she was going to meet her sister and was going to leave the next day, so there wasnt much more i could do.​

​

TAKEAWAY: i felt incredibly calm and in control. Was lower-energy than her but still engaged. I didnt care much about the outcome tbh. Play more with this.​

--

So im still struggling with:

• amping up my lover-vibe and toning down the bf-one; talking less, connecting less and being less friendly
• calming down and matching her energy level (minus a bit); showing empathy
• inviting her to my city on a high-note and when its really on instead of burning this card too early; tempting her instead of just ploughing thru

In general, id say my current sticking points are mostly calibration-related. This is really the key. Gotta get a better feeling of her energy levels and interest, almost match them, and then escalate to the pace she allows me to. Its still hard for me cause girls still seem very different from each other, but im starting to see some patterns.

Im really happy about the sets with the ee single mother and the last tourist girl. I need to make that vibe my default one. I almost do better when i know nothing is possible with any one girl. Talking less is def more.

 

[Higher]

Im still working on calibration.

With girls that are clearly on the fence ("yellow" girls), i tend to be too playerish. I tend to try hard, be high energy, and come up with fancy, witty lines.

I guess i do that in order to snap them out of their closed body language, their lack of enthusiasm, their tentative initial compliance, their lukewarm responses. And to appear "not boring" and "not too much of a nice guy".

So far this has proven itself to be a bad strategy, at least the way im implementing it: these girls ghost or politely reject me. They must feel a disconnect.

Funny thing is, a text i send might sound ok to me in the moment, but when i notice that it didnt trigger any response from the girl in the last day or so, i go and reread it and it now looks clearly uncalibrated. Out of place.

Ill try to be more straightforward with these "yellow" girls. Drop the mental gymnastics. The fancy lines. Just keep it low, ask her out without beating around the bush, move the interaction onward as simply as possible, and accept any outcome. At least, even if she says no in the end, ill have played a decent hand.

 

[bkw]

I'm getting all-kinds of motivation reading this! keep it up!

 

[Higher]

Great weather lately. Impossible not to daygame.

Coffee date with Polish girl​

Number-closed a few girls in the last month, but the only thing that materialized so far was a coffee date with a cute Polish girl with great body that ultimately ghosted me when i softclosed for a wine date. I think i played my cards right - i just suspect she had a bf. (UPDATE: she just unghosted herself and texted me shes "not dating right now, and if i was, it would be for someone i felt love at first sight with or something like that" lol never heard this before. I should have replied with "i was not thinking about dating wink wink" instead of just wishing her well, but who cares really.)

Carnival instadate with Brazilian girl​

Had a really nice instadate with a Brazilian stunner a bit more than a week ago. She was probably ~38yo, so a bit older than what i usually go for, but very pretty and incredible body. Good fashion too.

We walked around exploring the old city and trying to stay away from the carnival crowds. Good vibe. She was a bit of a feminist, she kept on verbally testing me slightly and was not too warm, but she was super compliant otherwise. She followed my lead without questions. She probably just thought i was a player (cant blame her!).

I directed the convo mostly towards SOTs and building connection (she was genuinely an interesting girl, a bit nerdy), and we sat in a few locations. I slowly ramped up touch, grabbed her hands and started caressing them. After a while she did it too. I also massaged her legs lightly. I went for the kiss but she was like "sorry, there will be no kiss". I just kept my cool and caressed her cheek while looking at her quietly. She eyerolled lol. But funny how she started touching her own lips afterwards - always a great sign. Went for the kiss a few more times throughout the instadate but to no avail.

I grabbed her hand often as i toured her around in the magical atmosphere of the city. We kept holding hands for quite a bit. She even reached out to my hand when we were in the middle of the crowd.

So a good instadate. Attraction was there. Problem is, she was on her way back to Germany, where she was going to stay 2 weeks before moving back to Brazil. Foolish me didnt number-close her. In the moment i thought to myself "theres no way shell have time to meet me between saying goodbye to her friends, leaving her apartment, her job, etc". And i was in the mental frame of "sometimes thats how life is: you meet someone, you have great energy, great chemistry, and then its over - never to see her again".

But all i needed to do was to believe. Two weeks is ofc a long time, and we could have easily found an afternoon to meet in Germany or in my country again before she left Europe for good. Or at least shed have said "no thanks" and i would have been happy i tried. I didnt believe it was possible. I didnt close and i let her down.

Today and tomorrow​

Went for a 45 min session today. Approached 4 girls: 2 were not interested, 1 was an awkward Chinese girl with no English skills, 1 girl i might have number-closed had i not stumbled in the process - she told me she was going to the gym and i told her "too bad, i was gonna invite you for a coffee". Which ofc is not good, should have seeded a date in the future instead.

Tomorrow ill stay out a bit more. Ive still got some winter-rust on me and a slightly passive/pessimistic mindset i need to get rid of. I recall thinking to myself last year that "1h barely feels like a warmup". I cannot be happy now with a 45 minutes-long session devoid of any good interactions. Sessions like this would only reinforce a negative mindset in the long run.

Outlook​

Im still far away from realizing my true potential. As i noted in a previous post, im often just "asleep at the wheel". Some other times i dont believe good things are possible. Im too passive and i give up too easily.

All of this is coming from a lifetime of bad conditioning. Its a bit frustrating and hard to accept sometimes. But im an optimist. I want more, i see the goalposts, and i see myself reaching them if slowly.