E's Journal

[determined]

Here's my text conversation with yesterday's girl. We had agreed to grab coffee Monday at 7 after she initially responded "no" to "are you single?" Conversation was going well, then went downhill fast. Some good frames though imo.

me 1245: Hey (name), this is E... save my number.
her 1259: How old are you? (I'd asked her age to find out if we could grab a drink)
me 1301: 22. Stop texting boys in class .
her 1604: I'm out of class! What do you do for a job?
me 1647: How was class? I'm a software engineer.
her 1649: Class was as interesting as economics could be for an astrophysics major. For what company?
me 4:51: (company's name). So it was riveting?
her 1705: May I ask you something? Why did you come up to me today? (Are girls supposed to ask this?)
me 1715: You seemed like someone I wanted to meet. It doesn't happen to you often? (Boom, what a frame. Wait, doesn't everyone walk up to complete strangers and ask them if they're single? You're weird if you think it's not a completely natural thing to do...)
her 1942: Nope. Does it you?
me 2039: Actually, I tend to be on the selective side with regards to the people I bring into my life...
me 2040: But anyways, you seem like you need some excitement in your life (she told me that she works 24/7 and doesn't have fun) so I'm looking forward to Monday . You can be the first to hear about my first day at work and you can tell me all about econ class .
her 2054: First day?
me 2131: Yup I start Monday, thought I told you.
-Next day-
her 900: Look, you seem like a wonderful guy, but I do have a boyfriend.
me 1009: Were you planning to try to take advantage of me ? We can do something super platonic then, like smoothies. I'll be able to fall asleep better after too. (Figured I might as well friend zone her, and at any rate maybe after a date she'd change her tune.)
her 11:19: No, I wasn't. I think it's best we cancel our meeting--finals are next week.
me 2341: OK good luck.

Turns out she really wasn't single. The only girls who text me are the ones who are taken... Maybe I'll invite her to a group thing in 2 weeks or so. Not sure if she's worth the effort.

 

[determined]

Sunday, August 4th, 2013

Haven't posted in a while - been busy with a new job and getting my life in order, so very few approaches. Went on a date today, though. Met this girl Thursday night while driving to my friend's place. She was running on the sidewalk, so I pulled over and scheduled a date. Flawless, and I didn't even have to exit the car.

Unfortunately, logistics were awful. I picked a Starbucks that's 2 blocks from my house, but on this Sunday afternoon my whole family was home and planned dinner together. I really can't know ahead of time when my family will be gone, though, so I have no choice but to guess (part of "getting my life in order" has been finding an apartment in San Francisco where this won't be an issue).

Texted her soon after:
me: Hey Elizabeth, this is E... save my number and see you Sunday. -E
her: Hey sounds good
-next day-
me: You text came in at 1234 last night - is that when you got home? Hope you didn't run all the way to Santa Cruz again!
her: Yeah i went on a longer run haha no only 20 miles i prob wont run to santa cruz for a while.
me: Only 20 miles, sounds like child's play.
her: Yeah
-Sunday-
me 12:53: Hey Elizabeth, we still on for 5? First one there can grab a seat.
her 1507: Sure i might be a little late cause i ended up having to work today
me 1515: Sounds good.
her 1648: Hey there's a starbucks on california ave that im near. Want to meet there instead?
me 1650: Sure see you there. (Why not, we're not going back to my place anyways)

I made sure to be late since she said she would be, and she was waiting for me when I arrived. Came up behind her, light touch on the shoulder, "Have you been waiting long?" We went inside and ordered, chatting meanwhile, then she asked if I wanted to sit inside or outside. I replied, "Outside for sure. And I know you're an outside type of girl." We sat next to each other at a square table. She agreed that ouside was so much better and she wouldn't like to stay indoors, so I teased her about giving me the choice even though she hated one of the options. Then I pretended to change my mind, saying that on second thought we should sit inside, and she said no, so I laughed that it's not ok for her to give me the option then take it away. She said she would've sat inside if I had made that choice earlier, but now it's too late.

Not it was time for real talk. I had deep dived a bit as we entered the shop to order, and now resumed that thread. This girl was CHATTY. When I first met her on Thursday she seemed a bit weird, and now it was confirmed - definitely not socially calibrated. She spends all her free time running, like whole days at a time, and she knows how to chat up a stranger, but doesn't make any real friends. Is alone much of the time and doesn't understand how eccentric she comes off. She's a nice person, just air-headed and a little off, like she simply doesn't get it. Anyways, she talked about herself the whole time, sometimes saying things that were a bit quirky. I listened, though, and gave no indication that she was anything but normal. She did ask a few questions about me, but for the most part just talked and talked. I barely even had to ask questions. The heaviness/pace of the conversation was good, alternating between her sharing with me and light banter. Excellent eye contact, and touched her leg a few times, but the interaction still felt platonic, which is something I'm struggling with. How do I create more tension?

I screened for her logistics early on - her place wasn't an option, so I went to my last resort. When she finished her drink I asked if she'd ever been to the trail I like to walk where I usually pick up girls. She said yes, so I said we should go there and watch the view from a hill. She was hesitant, but I got a yes with a smile in the end. Of course the whole drive there she's jabbering on.

We climbed this hill, which is off the trail and off limits. She asked if it was allowed, and I said that it wasn't, but it'll be ok. "I climb it all the time and take full responsibility. Besides, we can't always follow the rules." At the top I sat down in the shade, but she wanted the sun so she stayed standing father away from me than I would've liked.

me: Are you enjoying the view?
her: Yeah
me: Are you glad we climbed up here then?
her: Yeah
me: Do you want to sit down?

She sat down, but she was still too far from me. I took the opportunity to scoot near her when pointing something out in the distance. I kept waiting for a good moment to kiss her when we'd be staring at each other in silence, but it didn't come. She would only make eye contact while speaking, then would be content to look at the view.

After maybe 10 minutes on the hill she said that she should probably get going, so I lifted up her chin and went for it.

her: No.
me: Why not?
her: Because I barely know you.
me: So?
her: So I'm leaving in two weeks [to Kansas for school] and I don't want to kiss you.
I did my thing, maintaining eye contact with a little smile.
her: And puppy eyes won't work on me.
me: Really?
her: I'm immune to them.

I leaned back and she returned to looking at the view even though I continued staring at her. Then she said she should get going and rose.

her: Are you going to stay here?
me: I'm coming. My reason for being here is gone.

She laughed and we walked back down. I was less engaged now as I'd lost some of my interest in deep diving her, but she continued to talk. Near my car she gave me a hug then said she'd be happy to meet up again. She's "usually busy during the week, but maybe next weekend." And she'd be glad to have coffee again any time. I said, "Yeah. Bye, Elizabeth," with a smile and drove off.

Probably should've persisted more, but it didn't feel right. The tension just wasn't there. I think I'll get my family out of the house one day next weekend and invite her over to cook a meal. If she won't meet me at my place then I'm not interested.

So, what do you guys think? Why do my interactions feel so platonic?

 

[PrettyDecent]

Hey E,

It definitely has been a while! Though, it's interesting since we're on exactly the same sticky points at the same time. Here are some opinions that might help:

Texted her soon after:
me: Hey Elizabeth, this is E... save my number and see you Sunday. -E
her: Hey sounds good
-next day-
me: You text came in at 1234 last night - is that when you got home? Hope you didn't run all the way to Santa Cruz again!
her: Yeah i went on a longer run haha no only 20 miles i prob wont run to santa cruz for a while.
me: Only 20 miles, sounds like child's play.
her: Yeah
-Sunday-
me 12:53: Hey Elizabeth, we still on for 5? First one there can grab a seat.
her 1507: Sure i might be a little late cause i ended up having to work today
me 1515: Sounds good.
her 1648: Hey there's a starbucks on california ave that im near. Want to meet there instead?
me 1650: Sure see you there. (Why not, we're not going back to my place anyways)

Clever opening text on Saturday, but I still would've skipped it altogether. Text messaging isn't a great medium for building rapport or growing attraction. Especially if your opening and first interaction were flawless, it's better to build up the intrigue and anticipation of what you'll discuss next time you see her.

I made sure to be late since she said she would be, and she was waiting for me when I arrived. Came up behind her, light touch on the shoulder, "Have you been waiting long?" We went inside and ordered, chatting meanwhile, then she asked if I wanted to sit inside or outside. I replied, "Outside for sure. And I know you're an outside type of girl." We sat next to each other at a square table. She agreed that ouside was so much better and she wouldn't like to stay indoors, so I teased her about giving me the choice even though she hated one of the options. Then I pretended to change my mind, saying that on second thought we should sit inside, and she said no, so I laughed that it's not ok for her to give me the option then take it away. She said she would've sat inside if I had made that choice earlier, but now it's too late.

Yeah, great opener here, too! Nice subtle chase frame to start things off. As for changing your mind about outside to inside - I think this may have lowered your credibility a bit. It's not good for her to get in the habit of rebelling against your ideas. It sets a frame where she's in control, and your having trouble utilizing compliance. Like, if you have an idea, it needs to be respected, and if you are advocating an idea, then you need to plow 110% for it until she gives. Not a big issue here - just food for thought.

Not it was time for real talk. I had deep dived a bit as we entered the shop to order, and now resumed that thread. This girl was CHATTY. When I first met her on Thursday she seemed a bit weird, and now it was confirmed - definitely not socially calibrated. She spends all her free time running, like whole days at a time, and she knows how to chat up a stranger, but doesn't make any real friends. Is alone much of the time and doesn't understand how eccentric she comes off. She's a nice person, just air-headed and a little off, like she simply doesn't get it. Anyways, she talked about herself the whole time, sometimes saying things that were a bit quirky. I listened, though, and gave no indication that she was anything but normal. She did ask a few questions about me, but for the most part just talked and talked. I barely even had to ask questions. The heaviness/pace of the conversation was good, alternating between her sharing with me and light banter. Excellent eye contact, and touched her leg a few times, but the interaction still felt platonic, which is something I'm struggling with. How do I create more tension?

Sounds like great stuff, here . So much easier when they do more work themselves. As for the sexual tension...I'm still working on that myself. But from what I've gathered, the two excellent places to start are here: ivk's post with great feedback and the ESP Model of Sexual Escalation.

She sat down, but she was still too far from me. I took the opportunity to scoot near her when pointing something out in the distance. I kept waiting for a good moment to kiss her when we'd be staring at each other in silence, but it didn't come. She would only make eye contact while speaking, then would be content to look at the view.

After maybe 10 minutes on the hill she said that she should probably get going, so I lifted up her chin and went for it.

her: No.
me: Why not?
her: Because I barely know you.
me: So?
her: So I'm leaving in two weeks [to Kansas for school] and I don't want to kiss you.
I did my thing, maintaining eye contact with a little smile.
her: And puppy eyes won't work on me.
me: Really?
her: I'm immune to them.

I've encountered this exact same situation a few times in the last week, and it's frustrating the hell out of me! After reading through some articles, I think it's a matter of not hitting escalation windows at the right time. By the time they say "I've got to go", it's too late. It's like your first interaction with her - you don't wait for the interaction to go stale to ask for her number. You ask at a high point, very spontaneously.


Anyways, nice job getting the date! It must feel pretty encouraging to see the difference between when you started and now. Hope the advice helped!

Would love to hear more soon,
Jake

 

[determined]

Hey Jake, thanks for the feedback.

Clever opening text on Saturday, but I still would've skipped it altogether. Text messaging isn't a great medium for building rapport or growing attraction. Especially if your opening and first interaction were flawless, it's better to build up the intrigue and anticipation of what you'll discuss next time you see her.

I used to follow Chase and Ricardus' style of very minimal texting, but girls would almost never respond. Eventually I decided to try some more extensive texting (still not too much) and found that more girls would respond and come out. I've come to the conclusion that I'm not at the level yet where I can create enough interest to skip texting with a girl I only talked to for 5 minutes. Hopefully one day...

Yeah, great opener here, too! Nice subtle chase frame to start things off. As for changing your mind about outside to inside - I think this may have lowered your credibility a bit. It's not good for her to get in the habit of rebelling against your ideas. It sets a frame where she's in control, and your having trouble utilizing compliance. Like, if you have an idea, it needs to be respected, and if you are advocating an idea, then you need to plow 110% for it until she gives. Not a big issue here - just food for thought.

Just to clarify, I said this jokingly, as a way of teasing her for being so accommodating. I clearly did want to sit outside and we both laughed about it. It did cause her to say the word "no," though, so do you still think it was counterproductive?

Sounds like great stuff, here . So much easier when they do more work themselves. As for the sexual tension...I'm still working on that myself. But from what I've gathered, the two excellent places to start are here: ivk's post with great feedback and the ESP Model of Sexual Escalation.

Thanks, will definitely check those out. This is a real sticking point for me - just had another one of these interactions today - so let me know if you make a breakthrough.

I've encountered this exact same situation a few times in the last week, and it's frustrating the hell out of me! After reading through some articles, I think it's a matter of not hitting escalation windows at the right time. By the time they say "I've got to go", it's too late. It's like your first interaction with her - you don't wait for the interaction to go stale to ask for her number. You ask at a high point, very spontaneously.

For sure, I should have made a move earlier and I knew it. Waited for a moment that never came. Your comment just made me realize that I need to figure out how to create these moments on demand instead of waiting and hoping for them to occur spontaneously. It all goes back to sexual tension.

Thanks again for the feedback, Jake. I've been following your journal, too, even though I haven't commented, and it is crazy how far we've come.

 

[determined]

Friday, September 6 2013

Very interesting day yesterday. I remember Ricardus writing that daygame is like a box of chocolates: you never know what you're going to get. Well, I found out first hand yesterday just how right he was.

The Approach
Met this bombshell of a Filipina girl last Wednesday night. We were walking in the same direction so I stopped her, telling her she had the sexiest walk I'd seen all day (she really did). I was on it - calm, relaxed, powerful. At one point early on the conversation started to fizzle and she said she had to get going. I panicked and asked her out too soon.

her: How old are you anyways?
me: How old are you?
her: I just turned 25.
me: Perfect, me, too.

Here she laughed, then I laughed, and from here on out it was on. She asked which way I was going and said she'd walk with me. Chase framing, sex framing, and when I asked her out again it was a yes. She seemed very affected by me.

Gorgeous girl, absolute bombshell. Earliest we could meet again was yesterday, a week and two days later. I spend that whole time fantasizing about her.

Texting
Sounds great so far - why the box of chocolates comment? Here it is: day of I text her to confirm and finalize and she tells me she's a tranny. I struggled to decide how to respond, and didn't have anyone to confide in at the moment. I knew I couldn't just stop texting her, even though it would've been the easy way out, and I also didn't want to flake on her after she'd been honest. Plus, I was curious. Decided to meet up anyways and at least get to know her a bit.

The Meet
We met up at Union Square. I made sure to be 5 minutes late (and got some girl's number on the way), but she was a whole 30 minutes late. She called to apologize, it didn't bother me. Anyways, I was sitting on the steps reading GC on my phone when she sat down next to me, real close. Instinctively I scooted away a bit - not an important detail, just interested me when I noticed it. We talked. Pretty early on I asked if she was 100% woman, and she said no.

Before meeting up I ran a quick search on this site on trannies in the hopes of arming myself with some information about what I was about to get into. Found a comment where Chase claims that trannies tend to be overly sexual, and boy was he spot on. I learned a thing or two from her. One area I've been struggling with is creating sexual tension; with her the tension was there the moment she sat down. She had intense eye contact, every once in a while moving her eyes down to my lips and leaning her head in a bit, like she was thinking of kissing me, and sometimes running her eyes all up and down my body. She called me out on meeting her eye contact: "Stop looking at me like that," and "Why are you looking at me like that?" Her voice, her tone, everything just sexual. And so many pauses in the conversation where we just stared at each other. Extremely feminine; she's a part-time model, of course. Must've worked hard to transform herself into that kind of person.

I wasn't turned on because I knew the truth about her and was actually quite uncomfortable most of the time, although I don't think I showed it. It was fascinating though, to study and experience how sexual a person can be. If she was a woman I would have been so turned on. At one point I called her out on it, when she asked me "Why are you looking at me like that?" I responded "Wow, you really know what you're doing, don't you? That's what I always say to girls." She brushed it off.

Eventually I worked up the courage to come out and say that "You're a cool girl and I'm having fun, but if you're not 100% woman nothing romantic can ever happen." She said of course, she didn't have any expectations, and asked if I was ready to go. Now it was like a weight was lifted of my shoulders and my discomfort finally went away. We walked together since we live very close to each other, and now we laughed and talked as friends - still flirty banter and she was still her sexual feminine self, but it felt different to me.

At the end of the day she was still very nice and very attractive. I'm glad I went and definitely would like to see her again as friends. I told her as much . She could generate some serious pre-selection for me since she's not only stunning, but also very sexual, and there's still much for me to learn from her. Texted her when I got home that I had fun and she's very relaxing.

 

[determined]

Saturday, September 14, 2013

Saturday mornings I go to the farmers market. It's a good long walk from my house, so the whole way I'll approach any cute girls I see. I'll usually wander around the market a good deal, too, then take a circuitous route back. Today, first girl I approached is a little Japanese girl.

When I told her I was going to the market she asked if she could come with me. I said sure, then when we got there I pulled one of these http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tg9rJpMQ ... 1AFE1BEFBA and asked if she wanted to pick out some food and cook it together. Her: "Wow, you cook?" She doesn't so I asked, "Can you follow directions?"

Somewhat of a language barrier, but it was fine. We laughed about it and if she still couldn't understand after I repeated myself I would give her a light shove and/or a cute look and move on. I asked her to teach me the most important word I need to know in Japanese. She chose "pretty." When I asked why that's the most important word she pointed at herself. I laughed and put my fingers together to say "just a little bit."

Leaving the market, I grabbed a grape from one of the stands and handed it to her. She asked where I got it as if she thought I'd picked it up off the ground, so I said, "From that stand. You don't believe me?" Then I bit off half the grape sexually and handed her the other half.

I made a point of using lots of kino, which is something I need to get more comfortable with. Some of it was a bit awkward, but for the most part went great and she liked it. It was hard to maintain eye contact while walking and looking in the same direction, especially because she'd always look away and giggle when I tried.

When we got to my kitchen I had her hand me everything from the bag and I would put each item on the counter. When we got everything I turned around, leaning back against the counter, and looked into her eyes, then down at her lips. She giggled and asked, "what?" Don't remember if I went for the kiss here and got rejected or if I told her to start washing the vegetables. Either way, after she handed me one of the peppers I grabbed her by the belt loops and pulled her in. Again, "what?" I went in for the kiss one or two times and got rejected, just a giggle and her turning away.

I didn't want to persist to the point that she would have to leave because we still hadn't cooked; I didn't want the invitation to prepare a meal together to have only been a trick to get her to my place. I opted to wait and build more comfort and tension. So we cooked. I had her doing the stirring, so she was busy even when I had downtime. I would just watch her, and a couple times ran my my foot up her calf or my fingers on her hip.

There's nowhere to sit in my place so we ate on the bed, mostly in silence. I finished first and began to just watch her. Soon she said, "Say something." I told her to ask me a question, which of course I immediately turned back around to her. When she finished I put our plates in the sink and we returned to sit on the bed. She said she loved the song from Beauty and the Beast, so I put it on. She immediately went to the bathroom, and my plan was to start escalating as soon as she sat back down. But she never did. When she came back she went to her bag and pulled out her phone, saying that she had to go because the museum she planned to visit was about to stop admitting people.

me: Go tomorrow.
her, laughing: I have plans tomorrow
me: Go Monday.
her: I have class.

Now she was still by her bag, with me still on the bed. She waved a small goodbye and started to leave. I invited her to hang out tomorrow after her plans and she said it depends on when she frees up. She can't make calls in the US so she helped me find her on facebook. She's only here for another week. I walked her out of the apartment, then tried to kiss her one more time. No go. Went for a manhandle kiss, and only got her cheek. me: "Why not?" her, still smiling, but not as completely comfortable as she was before: "Because you're not my boyfriend." She wouldn't even kiss me on the cheek. As of the next morning, she still hasn't accepted my friend request - I wasn't expecting to see her again, but I think all that persisting at the end burned that bridge.

Things I did well:
Lots of kino
The tension was finally there; we were definitely not friends

Things to improve:
No chase framing
My kino was to forward/needy. All pull and no push.
Began to chase when she started to turn me down. Should show disinterest instead.

Man, the whole way from the market to my place I was sure it was on. She just graduated high school, so she must be only 18 and probably a virgin. Feedback?

 

[determined]

One thing I've noticed is that girls are now responding to my texts, always. Haven't gotten a flakey number in a while. Not really sure what I'm doing differently, but it's cool to observe the change.

 

[determined]

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Met a girl on Thursday at a gas station as she was finishing refueling. Not my best approach, but set up a coffee date for Tuesday since she lives in the city where I work. She said I was adorable (not what I'm going for), and I replied, very slowly, "Well, so are you." Super cute girl.

Texting:
me 2036: Hey Jessica, always nice to meet a new friend . -E

-Next day-
her 608: Good morning E! Sorry this is a late response I had a few things to do and passed out early for work! I agree it's always beautiful to meet a new friend! coffee next week; can't wait to get to know you! Have an amazing day E!
me 1119:

-Sunday-
her 1948: Hey E we still on for Tuesday coffee?
me 2027: Of course looking forward to it

-Monday-
me 1048: Jessica, slipped my mind that I have a meeting tomorrow at 11. Ok if we meet at 10?
her 1634: Yah sorry my schedule is hectic with work so they might ask me to sub tomorrow but prob not so yah that's fine! Starbucks? And where do you work in San Mateo so it's close to you? Sorry late response my day has been filled and constantly oging
me 1653: (address), not very familiar with the city. Got a favorite spot?
her 2201: I'm a Starbucks girl or there is this awesome cafe downtown I think on third ave- called kaffehaus I believe idk do you work in forster city Im confused! Lol Ok anyways ill be up I'm off at 8 am till 12 so Im down to meet at 10 just tell me where. Sorry busy day!! See you tomorrow!
me 2217: Wow you write some long texts! Can't help but picture you reciting them to me super excited and animated, talking really fast. And you definitely seem like a Starbucks girl. Le'ts try the one at 921 E Hillsdale. Looks like its by the water so if were lucky we might get a nice view .
her 2222: Haha yup you pretty much have the jist of me down already! And I can TOTALY see you legit googling Starbucks and looking at the map and seeing blue and picking it based on the location. Anyways wayyyyy past my bedtime! Goodnight! See you tomorrow!
me 2224: Good night Jessica.

We meet up, I'm 10 minutes late. As we order she suggests we go outside and sit by the water, and I say "That's exactly what I was going to say. We think alike." She tells me how she's a teacher's assistant and a story about how one time she wore her sweatshirt backwards and her kids pointed it out to her. I qualified her with, "It's cool that they have a teacher that's a real person, and not someone who's above them who doesn't make mistakes." She then qualifies herself, saying she's down to Earth. That's one thing I did really well with her is qualifying. Qualifying and cold reading. Starting via text I made some correct assumptions about her, and continued to cold read on the date, so successfully that she said soon after we sat down,

her: We've spend a whole of 4 minutes together and I feel like you already know everything about me. I don't know if I like this.
me: Why not?
her: Because I don't know if I want everyone knowing everything about me.
me: It's nice. Most people are closed off - you're much easier to make a connection with. Don't change.

She asked what makes me happy, and after answering I turned it back to her. She replied that it was her kids: seeing a light bulb go off in their heads and when they surprise her with their capabilities. I couldn't come up with the right words to qualify her here, so I tried to do it non-verbally with my look. I think it came off well. Also qualified her that it's great that she found her passion and that she knew what she wanted to do with her life from a young age.

Lots of light kino, deep diving, and teasing. I felt like I teased her a bit too much, and sometimes it's hard for me to tease without being insulting, but she laughed at most of it. At the end of the date she seemed slightly offended by something I didn't mean to be offensive, so I tried to recover with, "Jessica, you keep taking things as if I'm making fun of you, but I'm not," with strong eye contact until she smiled and asked, "What?" I smiled back.

Slight sexual innuendo - as we were walking towards the water she said we can't take a walk because she's wearing a dress. I asked why. her: Because it'll fly up and I don't want everyone to see what's underneath. Me: Just me. She laughed, "just you." After we sat down I asked if she wore that dress just for me, and she said yes, she's not allowed to wear dresses to work. A bit later I took her earlobe (and I swear she turned her ear towards me and relaxed as I did it, almost like a cat when it enjoys being petted) and asked if her earrings were just for me, too. No, those she does wear to work. "You're very observant."

She said I was mysterious and that she felt there was more to me than just being mellow.

As we split up she said to call her if I want to get coffee again, or not. I held eye contact and said, "I had a good time, Jessica." She left the parking lot before I did, but I passed her on my motorcycle, so at a light I turned back and blew her a kiss. It was hard to see for sure, but I think I spotted a big smile.

After the date texting:

me 1121: Jessica, I had fun today. You're very relaxing to talk to (counterintuitive right ?) (We had talked about how she's super energetic and stressed out and I got some good teasing and connecting out of that one. But after sending this I felt like I'd insulted her again)
her 1930: Very counterintuitive. I apologize for the late response I've been on the go since I've seen you. I mean I hope you had fun because I did hope to get the chance to see you again soon!
me 2045: Stop apologizing every time you respond! I'll text you next week after you return and we'll try to get together again. Getting back Sunday? Ps good night.
her 2114: Yes Sunday at midnight though ! So during the week and Friday im more available. And sweet dreams. Lila tov. (I'm a phonetic learner) (That was "good night" in Hebrew since she's been to Israel and I'm Israeli)
me: 2123: Text you Monday then, have fun.

She's out of town through the weekend. So I'll text her Tuesday. Now logistics will be tough; she lives in San Mateo, which is about 30 minutes from my place, with her parents. And she's super busy and works in the morning. So her place isn't an option and my place will be inconvenient also because it's far for her, she can't spend the night without her parents knowing, and she'll have to be back early in the morning. Thinking I'll invite her on a weekend during the day to cook a meal with me at my place.

Great girl; I like her better than any other girl I've dated. And absolutely beautiful.

Lesson: even if you're not at the top of your game on the approach and even if it doesn't look like the girl is super excited, she still might be. Follow the process.

 

[determined]

Ran into 4 other guys gaming on Market Street yesterday. I was really excited at first, thinking I'd finally found some guys who'd work at this with me. However, I was quickly turned off.

They were so gamey, and tryhard. Immediately after I introduced myself one of them asked which method I subscribe to and proceeded to list a bunch of websites. Of course none of them had heard of GC; hopefully they check it out now. They kept qualifying themselves to me, too - I'm not judging you man, we're all just out here to work on ourselves.

Anyways, that was my rant. Hope I don't come off like that.

 

[determined]

Saturday, September 28, 2013

Earlier today I was closing in on a girl I wanted to approach when some other guy beat me to it. So I waited for them to finish then went to meet him. This guy is living the dream: he's 24, living in San Francisco, and is the man I'm working to become. He doesn't go out specifically to game anymore, but just approaches girls as he runs into them in his day to day life. He has all the abundance he needs.

He was nice enough to watch me approach twice and critique me, then to demonstrate his own approach. Things he taught me:

• Believe you're the shit. Check.
• When approaching a girl who's walking, do it from the side and cut her off. No pre-opening touch. Until now I would come in from behind, so girls would either be startled by my touch, or if I didn't touch them they wouldn't pay attention to me.
• Be a happy, high energy person. How does that gel with the advice on GC to smile less and be low energy?
• Also, I didn't catch most of the conversation between him and the first girl, but I did pick up that he did most of the talking, and it was about himself. He scheduled a date for Monday. What's up?
• One other thing I changed today was approaching with a bigger smile.

I invited him to hang out again, but he declined. Understandable, I have nothing to offer him and would just pester him for advice. After spending just that little bit of time with him my success rates improved immediately. Good day. Where do I meet more guys like this?

Later I ran into the guys from my last post. I may have been to quick to judge. Although they still are gamey and tryhard, I had one of them watch and critique 2 of my approaches, and he had some solid feedback:

• When a girl's not hooking, be funnier. Maybe even call her out on it jokingly. The whole "sexy man" thing isn't effective if a girl's not into it.
• The second girl took a step away from me when I approached, and I followed her. That's chasing, I should respond to IODs with my own IODs.

After that we approached 2 pairs of girls, and it was nice having a wingman. In the second pair only one of the girls was attractive, so I went in solely to help him. We both got numbers.

 

[metomeya]

That's awesome you found someone cool in the community and willing to help you out.

Everyone I have met (in-person) was either a used car salesman, a fan-boy, or bitter about women.

Love reading the journal!

 

[determined]

Thanks, metomeya. Today was another good day - this guy really made a difference in my game. Wish I could hang out with him some more.

Sunday, September 29, 2013
Went to the Folsom Street Fair today (a mostly gay fetish and eroticism festival). I know, welcome to San Francisco, right? Got hit on by plenty of guys and did my share of hitting on girls. Here I'll only talk about one.

Towards the end of the day I saw a cute little brunette, so I approached and things moved surprisingly fast. She immediately seemed comfortable with me, so we sat down on the curb and talked. She sat very close to me. Normal stuff: deep diving, kino, complemented her eyes. Sex framing was easy since we were at a fetish festival.

Yesterday, when I hung out with the other PUAs, one of them asked me if I'd ever kissed a girl on the street right after approaching. The answer was no because I'd never tried; GC says not to. Back to today, at one point this girl touches my leg and I realize that she wants it. This was after I'd already asked her out and gotten her number. So when we were talking about her being spontaneous and getting into trouble:

me: What kind of trouble do you get into?
her: I don't know, all kinds.
me: This kind of trouble?
kiss
her: This kind of trouble.
Talked and kissed more, but very brief kissing to keep her wanting more. She had to meet her friends soon to go to a concert.
me: If I leave now, will you be alone here?
her: Yeah, I'll definitely be alone for a while. Are you leaving?
me: What's in it for me if I stay? (mistake, she didn't like that)
me: I'm kidding, I like hanging out with you.
her: I like hanging out with you, too.

When it finally was time for her to go we agreed to hang out tomorrow night. I could see she wanted me to kiss her again, but I got up without kissing her. When she joined me I asked,
me: Do you always meet boys on the street like this?
her: No.
me: How did you reel me in so well?
Then I placed my hands on her waist and kissed her one last time.
As we parted she touched my hip, so I asked,
me: Did you just touch my ass?
her: Your hip.
me: Alright, get out of here. Then I turned her away from me and slapped her ass lightly. Sent her a text a soon after saying that I'm glad we met and that she's very easy to connect with. Here's hoping she comes through tomorrow.

 

[metomeya]

Got hit on by plenty of guys and did my share of hitting on girls.

Hahah love it! Are you a good looking guy?

When I went to Dallas's gay club area (I hear girls go there and let loose since they don't except to get hit on) I found out what it is like to be a hot chick.

The ugly, fat guys would burn a hole in me with their eyes (scary!), you could see the inner conflict of the shy guys wanting to talk to me, and the naturals/players who were super smooth. Don't get me wrong, I'm not gay...i'm not gay...did I mention I'm not gay? ,but I did like the attention from the naturals/player even though I knew what they were after...did I mention I'm not gay? Anyways, I can see why game works with woman.

I did want to comment on your post. I'm not the most experienced guy, but just wanted to give you some ideas.

Girls love discretion. From the post she had already made up her mind she likes you and will eventually sleep with you (given you don't screw anything up). I'm sure deep down inside you already knew that from how the interaction was going. The "whats in it if I stay" is a great transition from friends to lover and is a great way to start flirting. But since you used it when she already was in the flirty stage...she was probably wondering what the heck?

The trying to play the hip slap as a butt slap comes off too desperate for trying to force sex into the situation. If the girl likes you she'll over look it cause they know what horn balls all men are. Now if she does touch you butt by mistake...no doubt call her out on it.

Other than that the interaction sounds awesome!

Uh, now I'm starting to feel like someone who acts like a know it all on the forums and never does anything. Time to approach! Wish me luck!

 

[determined]

Not especially good looking, but ok. 5'6'', muscular. Apparently I have a nice ass .

Girl never texted me back. Maybe Chase was right (big surprise) about not kissing girls. How do I act with her now?

When she touched my hip it really was very close to my ass, I wasn't bullshitting.

 

[metomeya]

Thats the asset they like the most

Whats the article where Chase talked about not kissing the girl? Whats the psychology behind this?

Okay, you were good on the call out then.

 

[determined]

Not sure which article it is. The idea behind it is that kissing the girl releases sexual tension and diminishes the girl's emotional high. Now she's thinking logically instead of emotionally and is much more likely to lose interest.

 

[metomeya]

Thanks man. Ya, I saw it mentioned in some article but I also forget which one.

How has pickup been lately?

 

[determined]

Saturday, October 6th, 2013

Spent the weekend at my old frat house for reunion and Saturday we had a party. I hooked up with 2 girls and got a blow job from one of them. How did I live here without constantly getting laid?

The crowd consisted mostly of brothers and alumni, but some girls. I started by talking to a few, trying to move them and seeing who bit. First girl who bit wasn't very attractive, so when all the girls decided to dance I let her go. Good chase framing and connection building, though. She spilled her drink all over me, so when she was dabbing me with a towel I said, "You spilled your drink on purpose so you could clean me off, didn't you?"

I then talked with girl number 2, who I knew last year. More attractive. Since I already knew her there wasn't much need to build rapport, so pretty quickly I invited her into a room to sit with me. She sat on the couch opposite me, so I teased her and she asked, "You want me to sit next to you, is that what you're saying?" I replied, "Yeah," and she did.

Here I started making mistakes. I told her she didn't really know me very well, which is the opposite of what I want to say. She told me to tell her a story about me then, so I told her about the "time I was sitting with this cute girl on this couch, and we kissed." Hey response, "Come on, E..." I also didn't focus enough on qualifying and buliding a connection because I knew her already and figured it was in the bag.

Pretty soon I kissed her. A bit of alternating between kissing and talking, then I did a move where I grabbed her calf and lifted it in the air so that she was on her back, then swung the leg over my head so that I was between her legs. Started undoing her pants, This whole time she's saying that we shouldn't do this, and I'm saying, "Yeah, we definitely shouldn't do this." She's going along, but doesn't seem very into it. Get my hand in her pants, but that's as far as I got. Eventually she said we're done, buttoned up her pants, and got up to leave. Bottom line: I moved too aggressively before she was ready.

So now I thought, "That first girl wasn't very attractive, but oh well, she's here and she wants me." So I found her downstairs, talked for a minute, then told her to come with me. Took her to my old room and she sat down on the bed. I made a show of looking around the room, commenting on how much better it looks, then sat next to her. Don't remember exactly how this went down, but probably it was obvious to me that she was waiting for it so I just kissed her. More escalation and same move with her calf, which again I think was too much for her. I'm going to stop doing that.

Anyways, I got her pants halfway down and was playing with her clit when she told me she was a virgin, so I joked, "me, too," which was a mistake. I should have considered how big a deal this was to her, but instead I made light of it. Now she said she wasn't sure she was ready to go through with this. Shit. I didn't want to push things with her because she was so innocent (she was a freshman, only 1 month into college) and I didn't want to hurt her and because she was also a little drunk. So I leaned back and returned to talking. Then kissing again, then playing with her body again, then "I don't know if I want do to this" again.

I got off the bed and sat on the floor in front of her on my knees, leaning back. More talking, and she asked if I want to get her number. I said that I live on the West coast and that I wouldn't be back for at least a year. "It's a shame, isn't it? I feel like we really connected..." Her: "Yeah... Well, maybe it wouldn't be too bad if we hooked up this once." Ka-ching. Me: "How about I just make you feel good?"

Went down on her, and when she was good and into it I said that she had to take my pants off because it was getting tight in there . Sitting on the bed with my penis in front of her, she knew exactly what to do. 69'ed until she came first, the whole time telling her how turned on and wet she was and that I loved it. Then she finished me off.

Afterwards I made sure to be warm to her. She said "Now I don't know if you're really a nice guy or if you're just faking it," so I made sure to be even more warm. Today she friended me on fb.

Saturday really showed me how far I've come; it was so easy.

 

[Verisimilitude]

You know it really wasn't until I started looking through your journal that I "got it" with cold approach. I finally understood how people can change. Some of the first approaches made me cringe (no offense) and seemed like a waste of time. But as the journal goes on, you start to see some real success. I realized that this is exactly what Chase talks about in his recent "why cold approach works best" article. This journal shows how approach changes you. Keep up the good work man.

 

[Michael]

You know it really wasn't until I started looking through your journal that I "got it" with cold approach. I finally understood how people can change. Some of the first approaches made me cringe (no offense) and seemed like a waste of time. But as the journal goes on, you start to see some real success. I realized that this is exactly what Chase talks about in his recent "why cold approach works best" article. This journal shows how approach changes you. Keep up the good work man.

Ya I was just gonna say that, but xcrunner beat me to it. I was looking at the start of your journal and noticed that you got better in just a few weeks of doing cold approach. It's encouraging to see. Keep it up!