Gameboy's Journal

[gameboy]

4 approaches today. Got 2 favorite colors, the other 2 just kept walking.

First one was a girl seated at a restaurant by herself, around noon. I came up from behind, and saw she was a cute latina with a beautiful tanned skin tone, nose piercing, and braces. I sort of half-bowed down next to her with my hands on my knees, and asked her "Sorry, can you tell me your favorite color?" She said "blue" without asking why or what this is for. I thanked her and went on my way.

The second one I saw riding my bike, with helmet on and everything. She was a very punky girl covered in tattoos and with hair dyed two different colors on the left and right side of the head. I thought, I got to talk to this one she looks cool but also a bit intimidating. So I got in front of her and asked, she told me "red" without asking any reason and kept walking. I said "red huh? I thought black, but I guess I was wrong." She half-smiled but didn't really engage.

Third one was in the evening, I was already on my way home but my target was to approach 4 girls today. Came across a decent one that was walking towards me. I asked her for her favorite color, she had earphones in but seemed to listen to my question and looked at me. But she didn't react and just walked on.

I wanted to do a fourth one before I went home, it was almost dark and I was almost at the door of my house, with shopping bag in hand. Didn't see any suitable girls for a while, so walked up and down the street for maybe 5 minutes. Then saw a woman with large white headphones on, couldn't really see her well but she looked okay so I thought I'll ask her. I just got to "Excuse me, quick question" but she shook her head and walked on.

It feels awesome to have gotten to four approaches! The first one was by far the most attractive girl, and also seemed nicest. But it's also good to get a couple of rejections, to overcome the fear.

I'd love to do 4 approaches a day regularly now, and eventually move on to juicier conversations. But I'll take it slow, for now the goal is to just ask a personal question that the girl can choose to answer, or not. Asking her favorite color is a good start unless I can quickly think of a more interesting question.

I'm finding it's actually not that easy to find 4 suitable girls to approach! Or is being picky just another form of AA?

 

[JT Sunshine]

Very very nice work!! You crushed it today, good to see you getting out and approaching, especially with some tough ones (I cannot figure out how to get a girl to take her headphones off to save my life )

It is not just you… I still struggle to actually *find* attractive women during the day quite often. I definitely feel myself wanting to lower my threshold for attractiveness when I’ve been walking for 20-30 mins without seeing anyone I want to approach, then see a woman who is… kinda cute. At the same time, it makes me not want to try as hard. Not just you!

 

[Casanova Newhouse]

4 approaches today. Got 2 favorite colors, the other 2 just kept walking.

First one was a girl seated at a restaurant by herself, around noon. I came up from behind, and saw she was a cute latina with a beautiful tanned skin tone, nose piercing, and braces. I sort of half-bowed down next to her with my hands on my knees, and asked her "Sorry, can you tell me your favorite color?" She said "blue" without asking why or what this is for. I thanked her and went on my way.

The second one I saw riding my bike, with helmet on and everything. She was a very punky girl covered in tattoos and with hair dyed two different colors on the left and right side of the head. I thought, I got to talk to this one she looks cool but also a bit intimidating. So I got in front of her and asked, she told me "red" without asking any reason and kept walking. I said "red huh? I thought black, but I guess I was wrong." She half-smiled but didn't really engage.

Third one was in the evening, I was already on my way home but my target was to approach 4 girls today. Came across a decent one that was walking towards me. I asked her for her favorite color, she had earphones in but seemed to listen to my question and looked at me. But she didn't react and just walked on.

I wanted to do a fourth one before I went home, it was almost dark and I was almost at the door of my house, with shopping bag in hand. Didn't see any suitable girls for a while, so walked up and down the street for maybe 5 minutes. Then saw a woman with large white headphones on, couldn't really see her well but she looked okay so I thought I'll ask her. I just got to "Excuse me, quick question" but she shook her head and walked on.

It feels awesome to have gotten to four approaches! The first one was by far the most attractive girl, and also seemed nicest. But it's also good to get a couple of rejections, to overcome the fear.

I'd love to do 4 approaches a day regularly now, and eventually move on to juicier conversations. But I'll take it slow, for now the goal is to just ask a personal question that the girl can choose to answer, or not. Asking her favorite color is a good start unless I can quickly think of a more interesting question.

I'm finding it's actually not that easy to find 4 suitable girls to approach! Or is being picky just another form of AA?

I’m proud of you, brother. You are getting after it! I’ve been slacking off on approaches lately because of business struggles and general laziness.

But your attitude is inspiring!

 

[gameboy]

Very very nice work!! You crushed it today, good to see you getting out and approaching, especially with some tough ones

Thank you so much for your support, dear friend! Much appreciated.

I’m proud of you, brother. You are getting after it! I’ve been slacking off on approaches lately because of business struggles and general laziness.

But your attitude is inspiring!

I'm struggling with low energy, too. But in the end, not approaching at all makes me feel even worse.

Actually I may have had an important insight today, inspired by Chase's last article where he says, among other things, that pharmaceutical drugs can wreck libidos.

As far as approaching goes, I feel I did pretty well for a beginner during last winter. Not as in cleaning up with the girls, by any means... but at least I could approach and hook fairly frequently. Then I really starting slacking off around March this year. I suspect it's due to the allergy medication I've started taking this spring. Just read up on it today and it can cause general fatigue and low libido. Go figure!

 

[gameboy]

3 out of 3 today (that's 3 favorite colors, from 3 approaches). One short of my target, but it got dark before I could find the 4th girl.

The first one I saw riding my bike. She was on a scooter and I pulled up beside her. I saw from behind that she had a petite, very doable body. Her style was almost a bit posh for my taste, but when I asked her she was really friendly. She said "blue" and I said "Blue eh? All the girls say blue!" She laughed and drove off.

Second one also had a bike, and pulled up next to me while I was pushing mine through a pedestrian zone. I found she looked cute at first glance, and quickly asked her her color. She said "orange!" I told her orange is beautiful, and that most other girls prefer blue. She laughed, but didn't reply and went in another direction.

The third one was my favorite actually. She was part of a 2F set. I saw her coming back from the beach, in a place with lots of people walking. I don't think I would previously have dared to approach a two set with so many people around. Also, both girls were pretty tall, not sure if they were actually taller than me.

But I really liked the looks of one of them. She had stunningly beautiful long black hair. So I quickly approached, from the front this time. I asked "Excuse me, can you tell me your favorite color real quick?" Both girls looked at me while I talked so I boldly pointed at the hotter one. The girl looked confused. I actually expected them to turn away and keep walking. But then she said, "What?" so I repeated the question. She replied, "bleu", in French. I was like "Bleu? As in blue?" She nodded, I said "Cool, thanks!" and felt like a champ.

None of the girls asked me why I wanted to know their favorite color today. It seemed like the most natural question in the world to ask of a stranger. And to be honest... they probably know why I'm asking, anyway.

I generally felt I was better received by the girls I came across today, not just the ones I actually approached. Maybe it was because it was my first time wearing a stylish black shirt that I bought recently. I think it looks good on me, gotta see if I can find more of the sort.

There were also two girls that I just said "hello" to that responded pretty well: Number one, a cute latina that I came across first thing in the morning while heading for my wake-up coffee. I really liked her looks but was too tired to properly open. I smiled at her as I walked by and just said hi, she gave me a super sweet smile and said hi back as if we were acquaintances.

Number two was a young chick sitting by herself on a bench. I drove by her on the bike on my way to the beach. I thought she was attractive, but she seemed to be a bit young, also she had headphones in and didn't look happy. I still said "hello" while driving by, and she said hello back but without a smile.

All in all, a good day today! I'm back to really enjoying the game.

There were a still a few pretty girls I saw today that I didn't approach for various reasons. Which all come down to AA basically. Tomorrow I want to do all of them!

 

[gameboy]

3 approaches today. Got 1 favorite color, 1 rejection, and 1 slightly longer chat. All were around noon.

Girl #1 was a petite posh but attractive girl with a tight dress that hugged her slender figure. Frontal approach, I politely asked her for her favorite color and she replied "white" but seemed uncomfortable to be approached. So I thanked her and continued on my way. Felt good to have gotten compliance even though a minimal amount, but good start to the day.

Girl #2 was another frontal approach, saw a girl with nice long blond hair coming round a corner right toward me. I asked for her color, she smiled but shook her head as she kept walking.

Fun interlude: I was sitting with a cup of coffee on a step by the road side. A garbage truck came by, with the trash men standing on their little platforms on the rear end. One of them was singing loudly. I smiled at him as he drove by and gave him a thumbs up. He gave me a big grin back. Good times!

Girl #3 was sitting on a bench at a little square. She had black Doc Martens boots on, plus big headphones. I slowly walked by her and then teased her walking by asking "Aren't you hot with those boots?" She removed her head phones and I repeated the question. She said no, it's ok. I told her I like the boots but in summer they would be too hot for me. She seemed receptive, so I asked her where she is from. Turns out she's from Switzerland, she told me that she was visiting some friends here. Apparently her friends are students here, but she's only staying here until tomorrow.

I'm not sure if I can call this a hook, because she didn't really ask me any questions back. She seemed friendly enough though. I probably should have stayed with her longer, but it's been a while since I hooked a cute girl I just approached so I told her "Nice to meet you!" and shook her hand, then left.

I thought i'd be approaching more girls in the afternoon for sure, but I went to the beach and while I did see several hot girls there, they were all in 2 or 3 sets and most looked like teenagers anyways. Considered approaching a 3 set of which I particularly liked one girl, she was very likely too young for me though. So in the end I didn't do it.

Still, 3 approaches is decent for my current level. Looking forward to tomorrow, let's see what the weekend will bring.

 

[gameboy]

Did 4 approaches. 3 colors, 1 didn't have a favorite (I guess I can count that as a rejection).

First girl was a 2F-set I did at noon. She seemed to be in a good mood, or maybe was a bit drunk already, I don't know. Or maybe she really liked me? She laughed when I approached her, and said "My favorite color?!" I said "Yes!" and she said "err, blue. What is this for?" I was like, "Oh it's to get to know people." She laughed and hurried off after her friend who had continued without her.

Second girl pulled up right in front of me on a scooter. She looked good enough at first glance so I asked for her color. Speaking to her though, she was a bit chubby and not that attractive. She said "Black", I said "Black eh? That's cool! I like it". She said "definitely black", but without much emotion or excitement and drove off with her scooter.

The other 2 girls I approached in the evening, on my way back from the beach. This time I went for younger girls. For one, because the street I was on was practically crawling with them. But my main reason was that I seem to have a major resistance to approach young looking girls, and I wanted to push through that.

Both were in 2F-sets. The first one, I don't even remember what she looked like, she said she doesn't have a favorite color. I asked "You don't have one?" in a teasing tone, but she walked off with her friend.

The last girl was dressed almost in a cheesy cosplay way, a bit like those Japanese anime characters. Lots of pink. She seemed a bit scared when I asked her, held tightly onto her (pink) purse and went "huh?" Her friend helped me out though and said, "Your favorite color." She took a second to think and then said "Pink". I said "I knew it! I could see it on you", they turned away though and said "Bye!"

The first approach was my favorite today. I loved the girls reaction. She genuinely seemed to be excited that I approached her. My response to her asking what this was for was a bit weak, in hindsight. I wonder how she would have reacted if I had told her "I thought you were cute and wanted to talk to you" like Chase suggested.

I'm not used to being this direct verbally, especially not without alcohol. I don't drink anymore, but meeting girls was definitely easier when I still did!

Glad to have reached my target of 4 today. Still walking home alone, sigh... but I know I'll get there!

Maybe time for some night game for a change?

 

[AspiringStoic]

@gameboy

Wow inspiring journal. Going out there and trying to change and work on yourself at 49. I have a buddy who thinks he is too old at 35. I should show him your journal. Rooting for you. Keep up the great work.

 

[gameboy]

Did two favorite color approaches around noon, then approached a number of girls on the beach, I forgot to count haha.

First girl I saw standing by herself by the roadside, she looked real hot with black converse shoes and short shorts. I walked up to her and politely sked for her favorite color but she said she doesn't know... maybe she was a bit scared to be approached. Oh well.

Second girl I saw walking, I just saw a tight yellow shirt without bra underneath so I could see the nipples. I find these so hot... bras seem to be going out of fashion here recently. I don't recall it being like this previously... but I'm definitely not complaining!

Anyway, stopped the girl on the street and asked her her color. She said something I didn't understand, I had to ask "What?" She said "Pink" in a really hoarse voice. I asked her, "What's wrong with your voice?" she's like, "I'm sick!" So I said "Oh I'm sorry, get well soon!" ... she thanked me and continued.

That was an awesome street stop! Now I just need to learn to be a bit more open with my intentions. Asking the favorite color is nice for getting over AA, but it doesn't really help me get the girl back to my place.

Later on the beach, at first I only saw girls with their boyfriends or in groups. But later as the sun set, I saw two or three girls sitting by themselves near the sea. I made a point of walking by in front of every single one of them. Even though this meant walking along all the beach, which is about a kilometer long, and back. It was fun though!

I said hello to a few girls to test them for openness to being approached. One was writing in a journal, just glanced at me, then looked the other way.

Another one, she had a really nice figure and tan, but when I saw her face she looked super sad. It looked like she'd been crying to be honest. I said hello in a friendly way, she said hello back but didn't smile. I wasn't prepared for this so I walked on... maybe I could have comforted her in some way. On my way back I mentally prepared to ask her if she is sad if I came across her again, but she was gone by then.

I came across a girl that was lying in a bikini reading. She had a cute little nose piercing, but looked rather young. I found her sexy though in her little bikini so I said "Hello" - she looked at me surprised and said hello back. I asked her "Are you reading?" - she said "Yes", but in a very quiet voice. I said "Nice place to be reading in!" She gave me shy smile, but then looked back down at her book. I got the message that she'd rather not chat with me so moved along. A guy's gotta try!

Later I came across two cuties taking selfies, well one of them was cute and the other a bit big. I gave them a compliment though, I think I said "You're so cute!" One of them, the hotter one, said thanks. I asked them where they were from, they were actually from here. They didn't seem super eager to chat with me so I let them go on with their photo taking.

So that's... 2 beach approaches and two pings. Plus 2 favorite color openers in the morning. Not too shabby!

Oh and I forgot I got approached myself on the street before I went to the beach. A drunk seeming girl came up to me and offered me her can of beer. I politely declined, but she still chatted with me anyway. She asked me "Are you happy or are you sad?" I said "Happy!" (It's true, I am! Really glad to be out doing this. It really is a new superpower even though I'm not yet seeing too many results.)

She was with a guy friend though, he was waiting somewhere behind me, I turned around once or twice because I wasn't sure this was an attempt to mug me or something. The guy was just standing at a distance minding his own business though so they seemed to be legit. The girl talked me up some more, I don't remember what exactly she said but at some point I asked her "You're a bit drunk, right?" she said "I'm drunk" and laughed. I touched her upper arm and said "Yeah you're pretty drunk", she laughed again and walked off over to her friend.

 

[Marty]

I saw she was holding bread and wine, so I asked her "Is that your breakfast, bread and wine?" She laughed and said "Nahh I also got this bag full of stuff" We bantered a bit back and forth and she was really friendly. Kind of cute, actually.

I like this flirty situational approach! Very nice

 

[gameboy]

Got a brutal rejection this morning.

I wasn't in the best head space to begin with... I woke up with a chaffed lip, which is quite visible and frustrating to think that all the girls I approach will see this (and probably not want to kiss me, per extension).

Also had some emotional family issues that I was working through in my head, just when I thought I was over this, but apparently some unresolved issues are still there. Not sure I want to go into the details here, but one annoying comment by my father in whatsapp set it off. It wasn't even insulting, just an ever so slightly belittling reaction to a joke I sent last night in a group chat. Sigh...

So, went to get my morning coffee and had a hard time manifesting a positive mood. Then on my way back home I decided to get at least one or two approaches in to warm up, regardless. Maybe I'd get lucky and get a warm reaction, which would help to improve my state of mind.

Saw two black girls in a fairly busy touristy street, one of which looked quite hot. The other was a bit big for me. I opened them from behind (first mistake) with "Excuse me, can you tell me your favorite color?"

They just stood there looking at me up and down for one or two awkward seconds. I became painfully aware of my body language, I must have looked like a beggar. To ease the tension I said "It's game, I'm asking this to all the girls that I like" (cringe)

The fatty friend pulled the hot one away without a word, they turned their backs on me and walked. I can't deny that this stung. It took me a while... at least 10 minutes, until I realized that rejections are actually a good thing. I probably learned more from this one than from the girls who just answer and then walk off.

Tried to get one more approach in before I walked home, but couldn't. Few single attractive girls around, I remember seeing one cutie but she was talking on the phone and I didn't want to interrupt.

It's still early in the day, this afternoon I'm going out again. I'd love to go a bit more direct! But not sure if I can pluck up the courage.

 

[AspiringStoic]

@gameboy

Oh man I can so relate to you. I have had so many instances of my parents making small comments or snide remarks that have destroyed my mood and ruined days. Its very hard to recover from that and go out to do approaches. It feels like we are already starting off from such a disadvantage.

Actually approaching needs a lot of emotional control and we need to protect our mind and emotional state from anything that can bring it down. Thankfully, I have worked to improve this aspect of my relationship with my parents by being honest with them and telling them how what they say affects me. But even now sometimes they say things that have this effect. But I try to learn to accept and forgive. They are also a product of their conditioning and their experiences. I try to remind myself of that and that if I had had their experiences maybe I would be like that too.

This helps me let go of a lot of things and love them as they are. But yeah I soo get it. It is tough.

About the rejection, I had similar experiences and I mentioned it to my CBT therapist. He gave me an interesting homework. Its called a behavioral experiment/data gathering thing.

I am also a beginner, so my main issue is anxiety opening. I am trying to just open for now. Open either with a compliment or a cold read.

The task he gave me was to log every reaction I get into a log that has 3 categories:

Negative reaction
Neutral reaction
Positive reaction

Keep logging them and what I find out as the numbers accumulate is that it is inevitable. You mostly get positive or neutral reactions but with large enough numbers you always get some negative ones as well.

In fact after I started doing this I had to add another column to my log:

Super Positive Reactions.

Because I started getting some of them too. So as of now these are my data stats:

202 opens
21 negative reactions
42 neutral reactions
104 positive reactions
35 super positive reactions

This has helped me a lot. Because when I get a bad reaction I have this data to fall back on, to see its a natural thing. Its just averages so nothing to worry about or take personally.

Of course in the moment it still stings but before it hurt so bad I would question what I was doing or stop. Now I look at the log add it in the column, take a deep breath and just carry on.


Maybe if you like the idea, try having a log.

 

[gameboy]

Oh man I can so relate to you.

Thank you @AspiringStoic, it really helps to know that I'm not the only feeling like this or that I'm overreacting or something.

Yes, my parents definitely didn't have it easy themselves, either. Some traumas seem to get passed down through the generations.

As for the idea with a log, it sound interesting! I already have this journal so I'd just have to count. Maybe I will do that when I have a moment, don't know yet. I'm definitely a numbers guy so it might even be fun.

I think I also posted in some other thread, that with the girls who reject you, you never know how much and by whom they got approached before. Maybe they just had an encounter with a particularly annoying person. Who knows? It's might not even be all about me. Even though I could definitely have done much better with this particular approach. But then I have girls like the tight-yellow-shirt-without-bra girl yesterday (drool) who was completely cool and compliant, so there's that

Thanks again for your support! I guess it wouldn't be called "game" if we'd always win, right?

 

[gameboy]

Didn't manage any approaches in the afternoon. Simply because I didn't see any single girls that I liked.

Went to the beach and more or less accidentally sat next to a 2F set. Both were just a little bit chubby, but still cute. The one lying closer to me had her hair died bright red, and a tattoo of a red little devil on her ass. Also she seemed to have a cute face. I liked her tattoo, and I should have given her a compliment about it. Or at least asked them to watch my stuff while I went swimming. But I chickened out unfortunately.

Otherwise, walked around for a while but no (single) hotties to be found anywhere today.

 

[gameboy]

Decided to take the day off approaching. But then an Asian girl sat right next to me on a wooden walkway on the sand, I could have touched her just stretching out my arm. So I assumed attraction and opened her anyway. Found out she was from China, and studying here. Talking to her I saw she really wasn't attractive, and also she didn't seem interested in me so I left it at that.

 

[gameboy]

TLDR: Had a good run around noon today, 5 approaches. Plan was to continue later at the beach, but then it started raining.

I went out around noon for a coffee, then for lunch at a nearby restaurant. Afterwards, I walked around and wanted to do just one warmup approach before heading back home. I ended up doing five

GIRL 1

A blondie sitting on the floor in the street, actually on her backpack or suitcase. She wasn't my type at all, but I could tell she thought of herself as attractive, lol. There was an empty chair about 3m away from her, so I said to her "There's a free chair over there!" She just gave me a curt nod, then looked away. I said "Don't want it?" She didn't react, so I moved along.

GIRL 2

A cute dark haired girl walking at me frontally. Dressed like a student, but relatively tall, I figured she might have been around 20yo. I asked her "Excuse me, can you tell me your favorite color?" She answered "Pink!" without even thinking much about it. She was looking at me as if to see how I would react, but kept walking. I said to her "Pink? Great, thanks!"

GIRL 3

A little girl with a bright pink hat on, again coming towards me on the sidewalk. She seemed to be talking on the phone. I said to her "That's a cute hat!" She smiled at me, nodded and said thank you. I think she was already smiling before though, so not sure how much of that smile was from my compliment We both kept walking, as she was talking to someone.

GIRL 4

Saw a pretty little girl with a tight pink dress on and long black hair. (I love long dark hair, can you tell?) She was walking down the street but on the other side of the street. There was not traffic at that moment, so I waved at her across the street and said loudly "Hello pink girl!" She also seemed to be talking on the phone. She looked at me, but kept walking and gave no other visible reaction.

APPROACH 5: 2-SET

Chatted up two girls who I'd seen before hanging out in front of a new cafeteria that is right across the road from where I live. Both of them are quite attractive, and they were friendly too. I found out that the place opened a month and a half ago, and that they serve Colombian specialty coffee. Sounds pretty good! I told them I'd check them out some day, but today I already had coffee. They said "We're expecting you tomorrow!"

Might actually check that place out tomorrow. The girls seemed quite nice and there didn't seem to be too many customers there.

I wasn't sure initially whether to count this as an approach, as they are hired guns. In the end I decided yes it does, because I probably wouldn't have talked to them without the social momentum I got from the previous approaches. Also, both girls were good looking and friendly, and its always a good thing to make friends in the neighbourhood.

AFTERNOON

My idea was to go to the beach in the afternoon, go for a quick swim, then scout the place for girls lying by themselves and find out at a minimum where they are from and what they are doing here (holiday, studying, etc). See if any of them hook, and how far I can take the interaction.

Unfortunately I only got to dip in the sea for a bit, then it started raining. So that plan will have to wait until next time.

EVENING

In the evening I saw one girl I found interesting, again with hair dyed differently on right and left side of the head. This one had it black on the right, pink on the left. For some reason these girls strike me as being open minded, maybe even bisexual or poliamorous. Which I'd find quite attractive as I wouldn't have to worry about the girl wanting a traditional relationship right of the bat (which I'm currently not sure I want).

I managed to position myself so that she crossed my path, but she wouldn't look at me. My momentum had died off by then, and I didn't approach. I felt she was giving me fuckoff vibes... but it was probably just AA.

 

[Casanova Newhouse]

TLDR: Had a good run around noon today, 5 approaches. Plan was to continue later at the beach, but then it started raining.

I went out around noon for a coffee, then for lunch at a nearby restaurant. Afterwards, I walked around and wanted to do just one warmup approach before heading back home. I ended up doing five

GIRL 1

A blondie sitting on the floor in the street, actually on her backpack or suitcase. She wasn't my type at all, but I could tell she thought of herself as attractive, lol. There was an empty chair about 3m away from her, so I said to her "There's a free chair over there!" She just gave me a curt nod, then looked away. I said "Don't want it?" She didn't react, so I moved along.

GIRL 2

A cute dark haired girl walking at me frontally. Dressed like a student, but relatively tall, I figured she might have been around 20yo. I asked her "Excuse me, can you tell me your favorite color?" She answered "Pink!" without even thinking much about it. She was looking at me as if to see how I would react, but kept walking. I said to her "Pink? Great, thanks!"

GIRL 3

A little girl with a bright pink hat on, again coming towards me on the sidewalk. She seemed to be talking on the phone. I said to her "That's a cute hat!" She smiled at me, nodded and said thank you. I think she was already smiling before though, so not sure how much of that smile was from my compliment We both kept walking, as she was talking to someone.

GIRL 4

Saw a pretty little girl with a tight pink dress on and long black hair. (I love long dark hair, can you tell?) She was walking down the street but on the other side of the street. There was not traffic at that moment, so I waved at her across the street and said loudly "Hello pink girl!" She also seemed to be talking on the phone. She looked at me, but kept walking and gave no other visible reaction.

APPROACH 5: 2-SET

Chatted up two girls who I'd seen before hanging out in front of a new cafeteria that is right across the road from where I live. Both of them are quite attractive, and they were friendly too. I found out that the place opened a month and a half ago, and that they serve Colombian specialty coffee. Sounds pretty good! I told them I'd check them out some day, but today I already had coffee. They said "We're expecting you tomorrow!"

Might actually check that place out tomorrow. The girls seemed quite nice and there didn't seem to be too many customers there.

I wasn't sure initially whether to count this as an approach, as they are hired guns. In the end I decided yes it does, because I probably wouldn't have talked to them without the social momentum I got from the previous approaches. Also, both girls were good looking and friendly, and its always a good thing to make friends in the neighbourhood.

AFTERNOON

My idea was to go to the beach in the afternoon, go for a quick swim, then scout the place for girls lying by themselves and find out at a minimum where they are from and what they are doing here (holiday, studying, etc). See if any of them hook, and how far I can take the interaction.

Unfortunately I only got to dip in the sea for a bit, then it started raining. So that plan will have to wait until next time.

EVENING

In the evening I saw one girl I found interesting, again with hair dyed differently on right and left side of the head. This one had it black on the right, pink on the left. For some reason these girls strike me as being open minded, maybe even bisexual or poliamorous. Which I'd find quite attractive as I wouldn't have to worry about the girl wanting a traditional relationship right of the bat (which I'm currently not sure I want).

I managed to position myself so that she crossed my path, but she wouldn't look at me. My momentum had died off by then, and I didn't approach. I felt she was giving me fuckoff vibes... but it was probably just AA.

Enjoying your writeups!

 

[StrayDog]

TLDR: Had a good run around noon today, 5 approaches. Plan was to continue later at the beach, but then it started raining.

I went out around noon for a coffee, then for lunch at a nearby restaurant. Afterwards, I walked around and wanted to do just one warmup approach before heading back home. I ended up doing five

GIRL 1

A blondie sitting on the floor in the street, actually on her backpack or suitcase. She wasn't my type at all, but I could tell she thought of herself as attractive, lol. There was an empty chair about 3m away from her, so I said to her "There's a free chair over there!" She just gave me a curt nod, then looked away. I said "Don't want it?" She didn't react, so I moved along.

GIRL 2

A cute dark haired girl walking at me frontally. Dressed like a student, but relatively tall, I figured she might have been around 20yo. I asked her "Excuse me, can you tell me your favorite color?" She answered "Pink!" without even thinking much about it. She was looking at me as if to see how I would react, but kept walking. I said to her "Pink? Great, thanks!"

GIRL 3

A little girl with a bright pink hat on, again coming towards me on the sidewalk. She seemed to be talking on the phone. I said to her "That's a cute hat!" She smiled at me, nodded and said thank you. I think she was already smiling before though, so not sure how much of that smile was from my compliment We both kept walking, as she was talking to someone.

GIRL 4

Saw a pretty little girl with a tight pink dress on and long black hair. (I love long dark hair, can you tell?) She was walking down the street but on the other side of the street. There was not traffic at that moment, so I waved at her across the street and said loudly "Hello pink girl!" She also seemed to be talking on the phone. She looked at me, but kept walking and gave no other visible reaction.

APPROACH 5: 2-SET

Chatted up two girls who I'd seen before hanging out in front of a new cafeteria that is right across the road from where I live. Both of them are quite attractive, and they were friendly too. I found out that the place opened a month and a half ago, and that they serve Colombian specialty coffee. Sounds pretty good! I told them I'd check them out some day, but today I already had coffee. They said "We're expecting you tomorrow!"

Might actually check that place out tomorrow. The girls seemed quite nice and there didn't seem to be too many customers there.

I wasn't sure initially whether to count this as an approach, as they are hired guns. In the end I decided yes it does, because I probably wouldn't have talked to them without the social momentum I got from the previous approaches. Also, both girls were good looking and friendly, and its always a good thing to make friends in the neighbourhood.

AFTERNOON

My idea was to go to the beach in the afternoon, go for a quick swim, then scout the place for girls lying by themselves and find out at a minimum where they are from and what they are doing here (holiday, studying, etc). See if any of them hook, and how far I can take the interaction.

Unfortunately I only got to dip in the sea for a bit, then it started raining. So that plan will have to wait until next time.

EVENING

In the evening I saw one girl I found interesting, again with hair dyed differently on right and left side of the head. This one had it black on the right, pink on the left. For some reason these girls strike me as being open minded, maybe even bisexual or poliamorous. Which I'd find quite attractive as I wouldn't have to worry about the girl wanting a traditional relationship right of the bat (which I'm currently not sure I want).

I managed to position myself so that she crossed my path, but she wouldn't look at me. My momentum had died off by then, and I didn't approach. I felt she was giving me fuckoff vibes... but it was probably just AA.

Right on @gameboy. I can tell you are really building some approach momentum for yourself.

I am going to propose a new assignment, if you feel up for it, and it feels like it fits into your routine at the moment.

Out of all the approaches you make this week, do this for at least 5 of them.

Open with "I have a quick question" , or something around those lines. I have a quick question you might be able to answer, can work as well.

If she is a moving set and you have to get her attention you can start with Excuse me to get her attention. But I wouldn't recommend "excuse me" otherwise (weakens the approach, when you are not pressed to get her attention like on a street stop)

Okay, now that you have here attention, here comes the most important part. You are now going to ask "Are you single?"

Here are some considerations, should you decide to do this assignment.

For one, your are going direct here so your fundamentals are doing to be what she initially assess you on.
-how you carry yourself/ the pace and way you move
-Your tone of voice and how you pace your speech
-Your facial expressions
-Your fashion sense
-Your physique

The more you have these on lock, the better you will be received on average. If these things are only base line okay you will get even more hit or miss. If even one of these is really lacking your chances of hooking her will drop significantly.

So make sure you have these at least base line before you go out, and if you can really take the time to put yourself together before sarge, that is a plus.

I won't touch on all the fundamentals here, But I will touch on at least your presence and your voice. As these are going to be crucial on how you deliver the line.

Your presence needs to be casual and easy going. You are relaxed, and present. Holding yourself with confidence, but not being intrusive with how you insert your self into her world. Some situations it might be more appropriate to square up with her (like street stops). Other moments you might turn your side towards her a bit more to convey you are not just barging in. The point is though that you are showing her that you are here and present, confident (a little charming smirk can help with this), upbeat, and not needy.

Your voice is pretty much the same. It is casual, smooth, confident but not throwing it in her face, paced well and not rushing. There is an air of curiosity about you, but it is not pressing. It's just a small question after all. No big deal.

"Are you single"

There are a number of reasons I am suggesting, despite the fact that it will likely have a fairly low success rate.

For one it will force you out of your comfort zone.

It will also give you some feedback as to how your fundamentals immediately being received by these gals. Since she will be pretty much making a snap judgment.

It will help you start to develop a new toolset, by making the interaction man to women. If she responds well you will be forced to make a move and do something about it.

Lastly, it will help you to go in with intent.

This isn't being suggested as this will definitely be successful, as you could very well fall on your face. But more so as a way to explore some range, by playing around on the other end of the indirect/direct spectrum. Now that you have some approach momentum going on, could be a good time for it.

I am only suggesting it as something you do in some of your approaches, but not all. This way you don't get negative momentum from a bunch of rejections. Hence the 5 approaches per week suggestion. But play with a number that feels reasonable to you. Enough that you are getting good data, and pushing your comfort zone. but not so much that it burns you out. So you can still maintain your normal routine and all.

Let me know if you're up for it, and have any questions

 

[gameboy]

Right on @gameboy. I can tell you are really building some approach momentum for yourself.

I am going to propose a new assignment, if you feel up for it, and it feels like it fits into your routine at the moment.

Out of all the approaches you make this week, do this for at least 5 of them.

Open with "I have a quick question" , or something around those lines. I have a quick question you might be able to answer, can work as well.

If she is a moving set and you have to get her attention you can start with Excuse me to get her attention. But I wouldn't recommend "excuse me" otherwise (weakens the approach, when you are not pressed to get her attention like on a street stop)

Okay, now that you have here attention, here comes the most important part. You are now going to ask "Are you single?"

Here are some considerations, should you decide to do this assignment.

For one, your are going direct here so your fundamentals are doing to be what she initially assess you on.
-how you carry yourself/ the pace and way you move
-Your tone of voice and how you pace your speech
-Your facial expressions
-Your fashion sense
-Your physique

The more you have these on lock, the better you will be received on average. If these things are only base line okay you will get even more hit or miss. If even one of these is really lacking your chances of hooking her will drop significantly.

So make sure you have these at least base line before you go out, and if you can really take the time to put yourself together before sarge, that is a plus.

I won't touch on all the fundamentals here, But I will touch on at least your presence and your voice. As these are going to be crucial on how you deliver the line.

Your presence needs to be casual and easy going. You are relaxed, and present. Holding yourself with confidence, but not being intrusive with how you insert your self into her world. Some situations it might be more appropriate to square up with her (like street stops). Other moments you might turn your side towards her a bit more to convey you are not just barging in. The point is though that you are showing her that you are here and present, confident (a little charming smirk can help with this), upbeat, and not needy.

Your voice is pretty much the same. It is casual, smooth, confident but not throwing it in her face, paced well and not rushing. There is an air of curiosity about you, but it is not pressing. It's just a small question after all. No big deal.

"Are you single"

There are a number of reasons I am suggesting, despite the fact that it will likely have a fairly low success rate.

For one it will force you out of your comfort zone.

It will also give you some feedback as to how your fundamentals immediately being received by these gals. Since she will be pretty much making a snap judgment.

It will help you start to develop a new toolset, by making the interaction man to women. If she responds well you will be forced to make a move and do something about it.

Lastly, it will help you to go in with intent.

This isn't being suggested as this will definitely be successful, as you could very well fall on your face. But more so as a way to explore some range, by playing around on the other end of the indirect/direct spectrum. Now that you have some approach momentum going on, could be a good time for it.

I am only suggesting it as something you do in some of your approaches, but not all. This way you don't get negative momentum from a bunch of rejections. Hence the 5 approaches per week suggestion. But play with a number that feels reasonable to you. Enough that you are getting good data, and pushing your comfort zone. but not so much that it burns you out. So you can still maintain your normal routine and all.

Let me know if you're up for it, and have any questions

Yeah, actually I have been thinking about trying that one out for a while already. I really want to give it a try!

Takes a bit of courage though. I don't want to overstretch myself and make any promises, so as not to trigger the crippling AA again. But definitely considering it. I know I need to practice being direct at some point.

 

[StrayDog]

Yeah, actually I have been thinking about trying that one out for a while already. I really want to give it a try!

Takes a bit of courage though. I don't want to overstretch myself and make any promises, so as not to trigger the crippling AA again. But definitely considering it. I know I need to practice being direct at some point.

I don't know what you're experience was like when you first learned to ride a bike without training wheels.

I remember the first time for me. I was at a friend's house and he helped me balance as I got on and then I just took off. It was like I just knew how to do it.

Then off course over the next however many times I rode I had a number of minor falls here and there, but the the foundation was already in my body.

One powerful way to get rid of AA for me has been to just face rejection and see that it is not all that bad.

Gives yourself the opportunity to really ride with it.
Ultimately you are out here to meet some cool women. Which is a perfectly natural intuitive thing. You already have at least 25 positive success with women in your past. So a part of you already knows how to roll with it.

I really believe you might be closer than you know it. You just have to find a gal with the right kind of logistics, some natural chemistry between the two of you, and have the gumption to move things forward.

Going direct like this doesn't necessarily facilitate all that, but I do believe it can break you out of the limitations your are keeping for yourself here.

If you can go direct and get rejected multiple times, what's to stop you from inviting a girl home when the chemistry is right?

That said, if it doesn't feel right and you would just spiral back to crippling AA big time, definitely listen to that.