Gameboy's Journal

[gameboy]

Approached a super hot Venezuelan girl wearing a mini dress today in the street, and it went unexpectedly well!

Unfortunately I was kind of paralyzed by my own success. This reminds me of my first approaches on the beach, where I said hi to some girls, they seemed receptive, and I got so nervous that I had to bail after about half a minute.

This time I lasted a bit longer in conversation and even attempted a #close, but totally botched it. I just wrote a field report here:

https://www.skilledseducer.com/threads/super-hot-venezuelan.28474/

Later that day, I saw one more girl on the beach who I could have approached, but for some reason I didn't. She wasn't as hot as HBVenezuelan, so maybe that's why lol.

Still, a great day!

• First hook in street game (previous hooks were all on the beach)
• First attempt to actually #close
• Hottest girl I opened so far, and she seemed into me

I'm starting to understand why some people get approach addiction, hahaha!

 

[gameboy]

Today I just got one approach in on the beach. It was cold and there weren't many people. I saw a blondie taking selfies, she wasn't really my type but I said "Hi"... no reaction... "Taking pictures?"... nothing... "For Tinder?"... she ignored me so I left her alone.

Saw another girl with high boots and walked by her, but didn't approach. Should have, but I kind of feared she would be too young.

 

[gameboy]

No real approaches today. I said hi to a few girls, at least one of them said hi back with a big smile which was good. Crossed her path randomly a bit later, and she smiled at me again. Could really have opened her at that point I suppose, but my mind was somewhere else at that moment.

 

[funkyjam]

No real approaches today. I said hi to a few girls, at least one of them said hi back with a big smile which was good. Crossed her path randomly a bit later, and she smiled at me again. Could really have opened her at that point I suppose, but my mind was somewhere else at that moment.

I know what you mean, you kind of have to be always on. The opportunities seem to come on suddenly and if you're not in the zone when you see her, it's tough. l have to tell myself that when I leave the apartment to just get ready for anything the second I'm out the door and be ready to approach. Easier said than done.

 

[gameboy]

Today I was busy with other stuff, and had no opportunities for day game.

I did do a direct compliment opener on a girl in the supermarket yesterday though that I forgot to write about. Quick resume:

- I saw her walk by me in the aisles, and liked her overall look, especialy her leather jacket.
- Noticed she was with a friend
- Manage to get behind the two girls in the checkout line, both are cute (black hair, clothed black, petite bodies with slim legs which I love)
- Her friend leaves at some point to pick up something she forgot
- I'm too nervous to open because I feel like I would be trapping her as she's stuck in line there with me
- When it's almost her turn to check out and her friend isn't back, she turns around to me and lets me go ahead
- ME: "Oh that's so kind of you! Btw I love your jacket, it looks really cool!"
- HER: "Oh thanks, I picked it up at some fair"
- ME: "Was it expensive?"
- Her: "More or less, 45 Euros"
- Me: "That's really cheap for a leather jacket!"

At that point the line moves on and it's my turn to check out. Her friend comes back and they go to a different cashier, and the interaction is over.

I found her reaction quite friendly, no idea if she was just being polite or if I had a chance with her.

In theory I could have reopened her exiting the store, but I wasn't ballsy enough. I think I even waited there for a moment, but they took their time (women... haha) and I left after a minute.

So there goes my first grocery store opener. I like adding new venues to my repertoire!

 

[gameboy]

Bad weather today, didn't see any hotties at all. So no approaches done.

 

[StrayDog]

Today I was busy with other stuff, and had no opportunities for day game.

I did do a direct compliment opener on a girl in the supermarket yesterday though that I forgot to write about. Quick resume:

- I saw her walk by me in the aisles, and liked her overall look, especialy her leather jacket.
- Noticed she was with a friend
- Manage to get behind the two girls in the checkout line, both are cute (black hair, clothed black, petite bodies with slim legs which I love)
- Her friend leaves at some point to pick up something she forgot
- I'm too nervous to open because I feel like I would be trapping her as she's stuck in line there with me
- When it's almost her turn to check out and her friend isn't back, she turns around to me and lets me go ahead
- ME: "Oh that's so kind of you! Btw I love your jacket, it looks really cool!"
- HER: "Oh thanks, I picked it up at some fair"
- ME: "Was it expensive?"
- Her: "More or less, 45 Euros"
- Me: "That's really cheap for a leather jacket!"

At that point the line moves on and it's my turn to check out. Her friend comes back and they go to a different cashier, and the interaction is over.

I found her reaction quite friendly, no idea if she was just being polite or if I had a chance with her.

In theory I could have reopened her exiting the store, but I wasn't ballsy enough. I think I even waited there for a moment, but they took their time (women... haha) and I left after a minute.

So there goes my first grocery store opener. I like adding new venues to my repertoire!

Have you considered rehearsing material yourself in the mirror? I think that if you had more material locked and loaded you would find that the interactions you are having, in general will have more of a tendency to take off.

In both this report, and the other report you recently posted (where you approached a girl you claimed was the hottest girl you've approached, but ran out off things to say) the conversation veers into this very bland straight forward series of questions. Which is all good and well, but conversations like this will tend to lose steam or just have little juice behind them.

lets look at this convo really quick

ME: "Oh that's so kind of you! Btw I love your jacket, it looks really cool!" (decent start)
- HER: "Oh thanks, I picked it up at some fair" (she is giving you tons of info to work with here)
- ME: "Was it expensive?" (okay now you ask a totally go hum question that doesn't offer much of a conversational runway)
- Her: "More or less, 45 Euros" (yup, she answered. But what does any of this info do for two strangers running into each other and building a spontaneous connection?)
- Me: "That's really cheap for a leather jacket!" (great, so umm yeah. Where is this headed?)

Now lets look at some other possible approaches

ME: "Oh that's so kind of you! Btw I love your jacket, it looks really cool!"
- HER: "Oh thanks, I picked it up at some fair"
- ME: Ahh, sounds like we had quite the treasure hunt. It's amazing how some things just jump out at as the moment we see them (open ended statement that leaves a large runway for her to respond. It also shows that you are listening to the subtext of what she shared. She found it at a fair implies she likes rummaging for things at unique events. You speak to/relate to that)
- Her: Totally I was so happy when I found it!
- Me: I bet! Hey you seem creative, what's your name
-Her: Susan
-Me: Susan (shaking her hand). Game boy. So how's your day? (Solidifying the connection and nudging the convo forward
-Her: nice to meet. Oh me and my friend are just running some errands
-Me: Partners in crime. You two pillage clothing fairs together? (Playfully moving back to conversational points that are meaningful to what she has told you about herself. Plus it is open ended and offers a lot of room for her to give a dynamic response. Thus giving you more material to work with, and so on)

Also note how in this example you are always one step ahead of the conversation. Nudging it forward into topics that have a lot of breathing room and potential to expanding/deepen. Rather than just talking things into a corner ("how much did that jacket cost")

Sure, you were in line and time was limiting but you could have maybe created enough intrigue for a re open afterward.

Really this isn't about this one interaction, but your approach in general.

I recommend writing down a series of conversations and coming up with dynamic strategies on how you can move those conversations forward. Then practice infront of the mirror before you go out. This way you are armed with a number of tools for moving the conversation forward.

There is no point in going out time and again and using the same material you know yields scant results. Push yourself to really incorporate new material.

If you are looking for some examples of material you can find tons online. But also you can refer to that previous post I posted in this thread where I talk about building conversational momentum.

I mentioned it there, but I want to mention it here because I think it is such a profound conversational tool: Sounds Like. Sounds Like. Sounds Like.

Sounds like you're quite the treasure hunter

Sounds like it was meant to be

Sounds like quite the surprise

Sounds like you really value creative experiences

Sounds like you two are inseparable

Sounds like

Sounds like

Not a magic bullet, but man its a powerful tool. Put more tools in your conversational tool box. Rehearse them so you are confident you can pull them out automatically when the opportunity presents itself.

Commit yourself to using more tech when you approach, as opposed to just winging it like you've been doing. Yes winging helps bring a natural sort of flow to things. But it will only go so far if you are not committing yourself to do what it takes to get results.

And that means running trial and error on techniques and strategies that are outside of your natural wheel house.


Aside from preparing more material/ conversation strategies. I want to suggest perhaps commuting yourself to asking for compliance within the first 3 minutes of talking, if not sooner should the opportunity arise (how about 30 seconds?). Can be something really small. Just see if you can work it in to the interaction. This alone will push the way you run these interactions forward in ways you might not be seeing just yet, with your current approach.

 

[gameboy]

Thanks man for your very detailled feedback! I really appreciate it.

My problem at the moment is that even though I'm reading about all this pcikup tech and canned material pretty much every day, when I'm in field, I can barely remember anything. I think I'm still a bit too nervous when approaching a girl in an unfamiliar setting like on the street or in a shop. On the beach I'm getting better, as I have some experience by now.

Practicing in front of a mirror? No, I haven't considered it. Sounds like it is worth a try though!

I've always struggled with leading a conversation, especially talking to strangers. Often I tend to "shoot from the hip" like the question "how much did the jacket cost".

A response like you suggested:
"Ahh, sounds like we had quite the treasure hunt. It's amazing how some things just jump out at as the moment we see them"
(a reality pace, right?)
...doesn't come naturally to me at all. Also there's a bit of a language barrier because I am not gaming in my native language here, so when talking to locals I tend to use shorter statements/questions when possible.

I think I get what you mean though. The idea is to connect to the emotion of finding a cool jacket at a fun place like a fair, right? Instead of asking about a boring technical detail like the price.

Asking for compliance also sounds like a great idea! With regards to the chat with the Venezuelan hottie, I've been thinking about it. I decided next time I'm talking to a girl with tattoos, I'm going to tell her I like her tattoos, and ask her to show me her most recent one. Which is a form of compliance. Then I could inspect the tattoo, maybe ask about its history or check out another one that catches my eye, and go from there.

With a girl who's jacket I like (or some other piece of clothing), I could ask her "Can you turn around for a moment so I can see the back?" which would be pretty good compliance. Also subtly sexual, isn't it? Hopefully not too much!

Now I'm dying to try this out... hehe!

 

[StrayDog]

Thanks man for your very detailled feedback! I really appreciate it.

It's my pleasure really. Appreciate you're being open to my perspective

My problem at the moment is that even though I'm reading about all this pcikup tech and canned material pretty much every day, when I'm in field, I can barely remember anything. I think I'm still a bit too nervous when approaching a girl in an unfamiliar setting like on the street or in a shop. On the beach I'm getting better, as I have some experience by now.

Makes perfect sense. Considering the field in the abstract is very different than actually being out there in real time.
This is exactly why I am encouraging you commit yourself to
A: setting your sights higher. As this will give you some gusto when you step into set. Aiming beyond what you know yourself to be capable of. And being open to the moment
B: Introducing one new piece of tech into the fold at a time.

The only way you will improve is to take bold new steps and gaining new reference points. Even if you find that you are fumbling, at least you are stretching your abilities.

Step into set with the aim of taking it as far as it will naturally go. Take bold new steps to take it there. Like introducing one piece of tech into your set at a time.

Practicing in front of a mirror? No, I haven't considered it. Sounds like it is worth a try though!

Great way to program routines, work on your delivery, and hype yourself up.

Writing things down can really help as well.

Basically just repeating things until they feel routine enough to access on the fly.

I've always struggled with leading a conversation, especially talking to strangers. Often I tend to "shoot from the hip" like the question "how much did the jacket cost".

Seduction is very much about shooting from the hip. You just got to make sure you have the proper ammunition locked and loaded

upgrade what you are shooting with.

A response like you suggested:
"Ahh, sounds like we had quite the treasure hunt. It's amazing how some things just jump out at as the moment we see them"
(a reality pace, right?)
...doesn't come naturally to me at all.

I get that. The more you connect with the core principle of these sort of technical practices, the more it will come naturally.

Also there's a bit of a language barrier because I am not gaming in my native language here, so when talking to locals I tend to use shorter statements/questions when possible.

Yeah that makes sense. You might have to develope verbal that still follow a technical principle but are more simple to execute based on your proficiency in the language. And then focus more on your non verbal to hook. Let your presence imply what your words cannot

I think I get what you mean though. The idea is to connect to the emotion of finding a cool jacket at a fun place like a fair, right? Instead of asking about a boring technical detail like the price.

This is exactly what I mean by connecting with the core principle of a technique.

Yes, you are connecting with the emotional experience she had, and thus offering her a conversational runway to share more about herself. It is engaging and open ended.

Another simpler thing you could have said would have been "must have been quite the fair" (letting your presence do most of the talking)

it is a basic response to what she said but still offers tons of opportunity for her to respond in a dynamic way.

Another mindset that has helped me out with all of this is just to remember to be present, and also more generous without self. More free to offer my thoughts and observations. "sounds like you know how to search for hidden treasure" is really just me sharing an observation. It is me being generous of my myself with her. Rather than holding back. Which is what just asking surface level questions is doing. Holding back, rather than sharing.

Asking for compliance also sounds like a great idea! With regards to the chat with the Venezuelan hottie, I've been thinking about it. I decided next time I'm talking to a girl with tattoos, I'm going to tell her I like her tattoos, and ask her to show me her most recent one. Which is a form of compliance. Then I could inspect the tattoo, maybe ask about its history or check out another one that catches my eye, and go from there.

With a girl who's jacket I like (or some other piece of clothing), I could ask her "Can you turn around for a moment so I can see the back?" which would be pretty good compliance. Also subtly sexual, isn't it? Hopefully not too much!

Not discouraging you from either of these as they are both great moves. But also be aware of what you are asking at a given moment. You can very much pull a bold ask off like this in only a moment after meeting a girl, IF the girl is super invested.

Bear in mind that having her turn around to show off her clothing to a stranger is a pretty big thing to do if she isn't feeling it yet. I have had women do exactly this within moments of meeting them but it was clear that the energy of the interaction would allow for it.

Same with the tattoos. Understand that girls with tattoos routinely get guys asking about them. You don't want to fall into being just another one of those guys. However, asking her to show you, at the right moment, can really move things forward. Having her show her tattoos is great for compliance. Just be aware of the moment and how it relates to where the conversation is at.

I guess all of that is to say. Yes these are great ideas, and definitely try them out when you can. But also don't go in with an agenda to do exactly these compliance asks. Instead think to yourself "I am going to ask for compliance, as soon as possible, in any way that makes sense" and just be present with the moment. You will start to notice all sorts of opportunities that are right in front of you.

Now I'm dying to try this out... hehe!

Go get em @gameboy

 

[Gram]

@gameboy just take a look at yourself since you started! You've come a long way by doing exactly what @StrayDog suggested... Introduce one piece of tech at a time. Go back to your original posts. The one piece of tech was to say hi.

That was hard but you persisted and now you are talking with Venezuelan hotties!

You received some real gems from Stray dog. The only thing I would add is that initial success gives this feeling of euphoria and one feels like they have it, only to relax and revert or stall. I do it all the time and just realized last week I have deviated from the focus on my alpha male activities (I have also been very focused on a few other really important things). This whole process takes longer than I imagined but as StrayDog wrote, it becomes ingrained.

I am much better now about holding frame. It's a conscious effort to do it but doing it is easier. For you, saying hi and engaging is now easy.

Let's take it to the next level! Keep up the good work.

And thanks StrayDog for the good advice

gram

 

[gameboy]

Yeah it's amazing how I can now open hot girls essentially on autopilot! With the Venezuelan girl it was like that. Where my old self would only have been able to stare at her ass, my new self said hi and chatted her up without even thinking I'm loving it!

Unfortunately I haven't come across any girls I wanted to talk to during the last several days. The chilly winter weather isn't helping, but I'm still out on the hunt and will keep you posted.

Thanks guys for all you help and support!

 

[funkyjam]

Enjoying reading your posts!

 

[gameboy]

Again no real approaches today. I walked around for a couple of hours but the only attractive girls I saw were a 2-set, sitting on the beach talking to each other. I said "hi" as I walked past, but I only got blank stares so I didn't stop to chat with them.

I need to up my game somehow, but even in the center of the city it wasn't all that busy. It was a cloudy day with a cold wind blowing, so that's probably why. Also, when the girls are all wrapped up in winter clothes it's harder to find one that I find attractive.

 

[funkyjam]

Also, when the girls are all wrapped up in winter clothes it's harder to find one that I find attractive.

Right? I deal with this all the time.

 

[StrayDog]

I need to up my game somehow

You say you need to up your game, and imply you didn't have many opportunities because the women were wrapped up and you could tell if they were hot or not. Yet, you did have a very good opportunity to up your game in new ways and decided not to take it...

the only attractive girls I saw were a 2-set, sitting on the beach talking to each other. I said "hi"

Perfect opportunity to up your game and instead you went in with the simple plain old "hi." if "hi"barely wields a modicum of success with a girl all by herself, then it is particularly less effective on a two set.

Look man I get it, not every approach feels right. The timing feels off. The angle. The surroundings. The circumstances. Can't get a read on the girl. Can't think of something to say.

Some approaches you make any way but just barely commit, say something and keep moving. Some approaches you commit to more but bail quickly when you feel out of your element or like it's not landing.

I mean, this is shit still happens to even experienced seducers.

But here is the thing. It only takes one strong approach to learn something new. Some crucial piece of the puzzle.

You could have approached that two set with something new. Taken a leap into new terrain, new material, new techniques.

There was your opportunity to level up.

For all you know, you could have won those girls over and grabbed one of their numbers. Or maybe they were tourists in town, ready to kidnap a seductive local man and take him back to their hotel for a bit of adventure.

But even if it didn't go down like that, at least you could have ventured into new territory. Perhaps even upped your game.

You settled for "hi"

Everytime you pass up an opportunity to learn something new in the field, you have to put in more time and energy to find the next opportunity. Especially in the winter, when there is less opportunity in general. Might as well make every opportunity you can count. I know, it's easier said than done, but it's really the only way forward.

 

[Gram]

Everytime you pass up an opportunity to learn something new in the field, you have to put in more time and energy to find the next opportunity. Especially in the winter, when there is less opportunity in general. Might as well make every opportunity you can count. I know, it's easier said than done, but it's really the only way forward.

So valuable.

 

[gameboy]

TLDR: Back to approaching, lacking momentum but did one nice 2 set at least (no hook)

So the weather was better today, and so was my mood. I haven't been approaching for a number of days now, so it took me a while to warm up.

Went to the beach, and there were quite a number of decent-looking girls around. Most in 2- or 3-sets, but also a few single ones. In the beginning, I wasn't in appraching mood at all. So I sat down, enjoyed the sun, then walked around a bit. Said "hi" to a few solitary girls just to get in a social mood. The first girl ignored me, but my mood got better anways, and soon the girls started smiling at me and some said hi back.

Most of them weren't really hot though, but then I came across two that were lying down, face down. Their asses looked good from behind I sat down close by and noticed they were actually speaking in my native language. They looked relatively young, maybe around 20 or a bit older. Both of them were cute, and especially HB1 had a very nice ass. HB2 was a bit more curvy, but not fat by any means and seemed to have lovely breasts though her pullover hid them a bit.

As I was sitting there, I couldn't figure out how to open at first. That's what happens when you don't go in right away when you notice them!

I check my phone, then looked around a bit. When I looked back at the two girls I saw that HB2 was doing a headstand. She looked even hotter that way than when she was lying down. Great bodies, the two of them! HB1 ws touching HB2's muscles while she was headstanding, to check the tension I assume.

The girl did the handstand for quite a while, maybe one or two minutes. I saw my opening and when she finished, I applauded her. She smiled and said "thanks". I got up and walked over, and chatted with them in my native language.

Me: "Wow that was great! I wish I could do that"
HB2: Hahah yeah?
Me: So where are you guys from?
HB2: X city
Me: (thinking) umm that's close to Y, right?
Girls: Yeah. Where are you from?
Me: Well I live here, but I'm from Z city originally
Girls: OK

They were less impressed that I live here than I had hoped. Also should have phrased that the other way around: I'm from Z city, but I live here now - might have gotten a better reaction. Usually the tourist are like "wow you're so lucky" or something like that.

Me: So are you here on holiday?
Girls: Yes
Me: Been here for long?
HB2: I just arrived yesterday
HB1: And I've been here for a month already
Me: Wow, you like it here?
HB1: Yeah it's much warmer than in X (our native country)!
Me: Yeah but it just got warm today, the last days it was a bit chill (lame, instead of talking about that should have talked about how awesome it is to be here in the warm south)
HB1: ???
Me: Ok when you're from X country it isn't chill haha
HB1: Haha nope
... noticed the girls were zoning out a bit ...
Me: All right... enjoy your stay!
Girls: Thanks! (smiling)

HB2 then proceeded to show HB1 how to do a headstand. So they probably had been planning to do that before I went in.

I did try and approach a couple more girls throughout the day. One of them completely ignored me when I said hi (didn't even look). Also when I saw her face from close up she wasn't all that attractive.

Another girl I walked by was deeply immersed in a book, and I also thought she looked a bit young so I didn't open. I kept walking, then after a while I thought fuck it, she had nice legs, I'm gonna try anyway. But when I got back to where she'd been sitting, she was already gone.

I had been planning to practice adding compliance to my skill-set today, but as I didn't really hook I didn't get around to it.

Still I'm happy to have done at least one decent approach today, and with two very cute girls! Though I probably could have done it much better. Any ideas/specific advice on how to hook a two-set? Maybe some sort of reality pace about how awesome the beautiful weather is down here? (This was in my native language so I could have been a bit more proficient with words, haha)

 

[StrayDog]

Me: "Wow that was great! I wish I could do that"

You come in with a big energy, clapping and what not

HB2: Hahah yeah?

"haha yeah" (okay who is this guy approaching us and where is going to go with this)

Me: So where are you guys from?

and then you immediately switch gears into this very rote question.

It is a down turn from the big energy. We were just in handstands and beach sands. and suddenly we are now are talking hometowns with a stranger...

HB2: X city

So the conversation stalls.

It's not that it is a bad topic, given that you have the same native tongue. It's just that you jump right into it.

Me: (thinking) umm that's close to Y, right?
Girls: Yeah. Where are you from?
Me: Well I live here, but I'm from Z city originally
Girls: OK

and now you're are squarely in that territory.

They were less impressed that I live here than I had hoped. Also should have phrased that the other way around: I'm from Z city, but I live here now - might have gotten a better reaction. Usually the tourist are like "wow you're so lucky" or something like that.

It wasn't that they weren't impressed with whatever city you were from. It was that they were underwhelmed with your approach.

Me: So are you here on holiday?
Girls: Yes
Me: Been here for long?
HB2: I just arrived yesterday
HB1: And I've been here for a month already
Me: Wow, you like it here?
HB1: Yeah it's much warmer than in X (our native country)!
Me: Yeah but it just got warm today, the last days it was a bit chill (lame, instead of talking about that should have talked about how awesome it is to be here in the warm south)
HB1: ???

Could have maybe saved the whole thing here. You definitely drove it into the ground with yesterday's weather report.

Man. Congrats on taking the leap. That's awesome you are going in for two sets!

Makes me realize how little I've been opening two sets these days. I used to do it way more than I have been recently. Inspiring me to get that going again.

Approaching two sets is fundamentally similar to opening one girl, there is just a bit of a different social frame you have to work with. The underlying mechanisms are the same though.

It also requires a bit of conversational juggling. Managing the input from two different women and steering the dynamic in the right direction.

Opening a two set happens one of two ways. Either you open one, or you open both of them. Not getting into openers now. But that's how it goes. You open one, or your open both.

If you open one, you stay with her a few conversational beats. Then, when it feels natural, you loop the other gal into the convo. Once you have some real momentum going with both of them you slowly direct the focus of the conversation towards the gal you more interested. Still keeping the friend in the convo as much as necessary, mind you. You will find that the more you hit it off with the gal you like, the other will kind of give you two some conversational space. That's great, lean into it, but also don't neglect her. She is a crucial member of this shared moment. Gotta make her an ally. Or at least neutral.

If you open both it is pretty much the same thing, you just have to be sure to be sure to direct your attention on one or the other of them at some point.

You are kind of bouncing between the two of them. Occasionally addressing one, occasionally address both, occasionally addressing the other. Eventually focussing on the one you like

It should be somewhat clear who you are connecting with more, from the get go. Can run into trouble if it is too ambiguous who you are connecting with, for too long. You just ease into what is already somewhat established, until there is more and more momentum between you two.

A number close on the girl you like will often suffice.

If you are feeling cheeky you could always try to get them on an insta date. That would of course mean you have to manage the dynamic for the majority of the seduction. And you run the risk of playing tour guide with tourist gals. I have made out with two friends during day game before though. So you never know what could be on the table

Maybe I'll make another post sometime on more specific two set tactics. But this response is already hefty.

For now recognize how you came into this two set and missed a lot of opportunities.

Here is another direction this conversation could have gone. Just as food for thought

You notice girl doing handstand

Gameboy: Hey that's pretty good. Looks like fun too (light reality pacing)

Girl 1: Haha totally

Gameboy: I bet the beach looks incredible from that perspective (still pacing the conversation. Setting the basic tone of the conversation. Staying away from to ho hum, factual conversation and steering things to more open ended, dynamic terrain)

Both girls laugh

Girl 1: yeah it's beautiful!

Game boy: Isn't it though? These beaches are the best (arms wide, taking in the moment) . You two are obviously not from here (looping the second girl into the conversation with a reasonable cold read). Let me guess. Looking for new horizons. Traveling the world.

Girl 2: Yeah we're visiting from X city. We're on vacation

Gameboy: Wait, are we all speaking (native tongue), that's wild! (using humor to highlight similarity, by pretending like you just realized)

All three of you laugh together

Gameboy: Three (nationality) in an exotic foreign land. Imagine that! Gameboy (hand shakes or the like there of)

Girl 1: Claudia
Girl 2: Lauren

Okay there are a tons of directions this could head but Imma leave it here in the example when the girls are both clearly hooked.

Also, notice in this example how you don't just give everything away right away like "I'm going to approach you and ask you a bunch of questions cause I'm trying to get to know you and then I am just going to straight up tell you where I am from because I want to get to know you".

Instead, let the moment inform the way your connection unfolds. Pace things. Let little personal details come out naturally. Keep conversational fodder stored away, so you can have plenty of topics to move towards. Such as the fact you are from the same country. It is obviously there the whole time (because you have the same native tongue), but you don't over eagerly jump to it thus turning the conversation into a rote Q&A about "what city are you from". Instead it comes out progressively. Naturally. Based on the mood and tone of the connection that is being made. Hope that makes sense.

Thanks for sharing your journey with us @gameboy

 

[gameboy]

I saw one cute girl on the bus today that I found quite attractive. However there were so many people around us that I didn't have the balls to open. A fat lady sitting right next to me, a big guy sitting right next to her, and who knows who else would have overheard our interaction. Plus the fact that she looked about half my age, made it awkward to open her in earshot of all these people.

Would any of you have opened her in that situation? Guess it would have to be real low-key and situational... but you'd still have to transition at some point to have it go somewhere.

 

[Smirk]

Thanks for the inspiring blog gameboy! Always nice to see someone put the necessary work in to better their lifes.

I would like to make a little addition to Straydog's excellent post. Interview style questions can be ok, but you have to play with the answers you get. Otherwise conversation usually gets too logical and dull.

Me: So where are you guys from?
HB2: X city

For example, here if I wanted to get more emotion to the conversation, I would use something like this:

Me: City X? Everyone I know from city X is either awesome or super crazy. I hope you girls are not the crazy ones lol

This adds playfulness and fun vibes to the conversation, and prevents it from getting too logical. You can do this with all the other "get to know you questions" also. It might come handy in situations, where you aren't able to come up with anything on the spot. If you have a bunch of these stock replies you have planned beforehand to their answers, you can use them to move the conversation to the right direction.