Okay
@gameboy reviewed a good deal of your reports here.
Seems like you have gotten pretty good at just bringing yourself to approach.
Congrats on making it over that first little hurtle.
That said
Most of these reports all read very similarly. I think this is because you are basically making the same approach again and again. Which is good to get used to approaching. But will only take you so far.
Judging by your posts on the forum I would wager you are a fairly sociable guy. You get social cues fairly well, and are generally positive and outgoing. Is this accurate?
Also you've had around 25 affairs or so, and have done decent with night game/social circle.
If all this is the case I'd say you are perhaps closer to success than you may feel that you are, and you might be able to. Or at least take your game a level deeper.
Shit man, my first same day lay was before I even knew pick up was a thing. Sure I had a little bit of success with women prior, but I was pretty damn shaky when it came to any game. If some dude like me could do it when I was just a dweeb. You can definitely do it, given your previous experience.
You just have to hit on the right connection/chemistry in the right conditions (logistically), and you'll be able to roll with it. One thing will lead to another.
While it is good to make small obtainable goals to keep you in the game, know that the limit of how far you can go might be further than you think. So just be open and flexible when you approach.
This is why I am saying stay in set. Give yourself the opportunity to see how far it will go.
As you've been doing it thus far you are basically bowing out right after the opener. Even sometimes when a gal is receptive to you (I still do it sometimes too. It happens). Stick in there. Give her the opportunity to hook. If she is not quite hooking throw a couple things out there before you are sure it is right to eject.
Go fishing for a common thread you two can hold onto.
You see, generating momentum in a conversation is like starting a lawn mower Sometimes, you have to pull the chord a few times before you get it started.
So, after you open throw out something else, then a other thing, and another. She where she bites and go from there.
I do this by throwing out a series of openers or opener adjacent threads.
Sometimes when I am going indirect and she isn't quite hooking, I'll switch to something more direct, or vice versa. That'll often change gears.
You (indirect): I can tell you are putting a lot of thought into this decision" (While she is considering which shampoo to buy)
Her: haha yeah so many choices. It's overwhelming
You: For real. they don't make it easy on us
Her: totally (the momentum is stalling, time to switch gears
You (going more direct): Well I just thought you were cute, figured I'd say hello
Her: Oh thanks, what's your name? (bingo, she just invested)
Now let's say she doesn't quite hook and invest yet, but she is also hanging around and hasn't really given "okay I'm done now" signals.
That's okay! just come at it from another angle.
Basically from opening to hook we are mixing and matching until it clicks (or is clearly over). Here is a bunch of material you can play with
-
Direct/semi direct
"Hey you're cute I wanted to meet you really quick"
"Thought you were cute, figured I'd come say hi"
"Hey, you seem chill, I want to meet you really quick"
"You seem like someone I'd like to meet"
"you were totally reminding me of a former lover for a moment there. You have a totally different vibe though"
-Genuine compliment
"Wow, you're quite graceful when you walk" (direct)
"Do you always stand around looking so confident?"
"Wow, you really know how to put an outfit together"
"I just want to appreciate how happy(relaxed, bright, present, spirited, etc) you seem right now"
"congratulations on having the most colorful scarf in the store right now"
"Dang, you know how to pic the best spot on the beach" (indirect but still a compliment)
-Indirect/Sitituational/Observational
"Wow, that seems like a good spot to watch the seagulls"
"you get it all figured out?" (said to the woman at the cafe who just so happens to be closing her laptop as you pass)
"It looks like it's about to drive off into the sunset" (said to the woman examining a picture on the wall of the cafe)
"isn't it amazing how many choices there are" (said to the woman in the grocery isle
"Always feels good to be so close to finishing a book" (observational with a touch of reality pace)
In general you want to maintain an observational mind set, and find ways to sprinkle what you observe into the conversations in ways that feel meaningful and relevant.
-
Observations/assumptions about her
"you seem chill"
"you always this kicked back?"
"you seem creative, are you an artist?"
"You in a band or something, you kind of have that vibe?"
"You seem like someone who's well traveled"
"You're not from around here, are you?"
"Let me guess, you're studying biology"
"you seem like someone who would be just at home in the mountains as you are in the city"
"you seem like someone with a sense of purpose" (talk about a way to catch a girl off guard, how many strangers approach you with a comment like this?)
"I can tell you're an honest person"
"uh oh you're trouble" (teasing when she mentions she mentions she's a musician)
"sounds like" (remember this phrase, it will be invaluable)
"it sounds like you are someone who really values downtime"
"I can tell that's something you enjoy"
-Reflecting what she tells you back at her
"Wow, sounds like a difficult choice" (can be said in sincerity, or as a playful tease. So much of conversation is about context)
"well that's exciting!"
-Reality Pacers
In general I think you could be reality pacing more.
Like instead of just going in a telling her an observation straight away be like "you know, there's something I've observed about you, I am curious what you think" (pacing the convo, building intrigue "what's he gonna say next?")
I am going to use two of your reports as example of how you can reality pace
The first is the girl in the purple slippers you met. Instead of just saying "I like your slippers" it could go something like this
You: Congrats on having the coziest slippers on the beach
Her:haha thanks I love em
You: What is it about the perfectly cozy pair of slippers, that makes life so much more relaxing (pacing the convo by setting a tone: life is relaxing)
Or another way that convo could have gone
You: Congratulations on having the most purple slippers I've seen all day
Her: Oh thanks, their my fave
You: What is it about purple that's so mysterious? It's such an evocative color (again setting a tone to the conversation, talk about evocative!)
The other example is when you asked that girl if she was cold and she said yes, you could have paced the tone of the convo with something like "isn't it amazing how being cold makes life a little more charged. Like you have to be more present. Keeps you on your toes" (pacing reality, implying that this moment is one to pay attention to, be present with, that adventure might be afoot)
There are many ways to pace reality, and many depths you can take reality pacing to. For the sake of opening and hooking though, keep your reality paces somewhat light and relatable. As opposed to more in depth and dynamic reality paces you might implement later in the seduction.
You are pacing to set the tone
-L
ogistical seeking questions that also allow for rapport
"What are you up today?"
"You always shop for shampoo on a Friday night?"
"You seem chill, is it your day off or something?"
"sounds like you're working a lot, these days"
"spending you're day shopping?"
"so what's a gal like you do when shes not deliberating which shampoo to buy?"
"So, it's dinner and Netflix tonight?" (said to woman grocery shopping)
"Hanging out at the beach all day?, don't you have to patients to take care of?" (said to girl who is studying to be a nurse)
"Okay, how many people are you cooking for tonight?" (said to woman with packed shopping cart)
You will find tons of low key ways to gather logistics that don't feel invasive. Logistic questions also can change the gear of the conversation towards that allows for some rapport building. Like now the conversation gets slightly more personal.
The thing with logistical questions is she will probably tell you important info in response. Like now you know she has the next day off and she is cooking dinner by herself
-Relate something about self
Make sure this is
A: relevant to the situation
B: Moves the convo forward, ultimately back to her
otherwise it is just that weird thing strangers do sometimes where they tell you some irrelevant thing about themselves and you are like "okay why are you telling me this"
But yeah, if it feels like it moves things forward you can throw out personal stories/info
Like for example say she is a tourist visiting town, and this is her first time out of her home country. You can relate something like "right on, I remember the first time I left my country for the first time. It was such an experience. This feeling of unknown possibility (note the reality pace as well). So what's you're favorite part so far?(bringing it back to her"
Give her an opportunity to see a small piece of yourself. That can often hook a girl
-Asking for compliance
We've already discussed asking for compliance a bunch so I'm just gonna give a couple brief examples.
"let me see" (said to woman reading a book you two started discussing)
"That's a pretty good color, hold on put your arm out" (grabbing a shirt she is looking at off the rack and holding the sleeve to her arm)
Putting it together
Okay, there's a lot here and I'm running out of steam.
I just wanted to leave you with a lot of material so you can start mixing and matching to generate more momentum.
While a lot of these techniques can work in later stages of a seduction to get deeper, think of all these examples as first phase examples. So you are keeping things light and playful.
Some of these examples can work as openers. Some of the work better a couple moments into the convo. But you can make tweaks to all this material to make it fit in at different points. You can modify it to be an opener, come right after an opener, or switch gears.
A lot of this material can work from open to hook, but also can work well after hook.
Shuffle through a number of techniques and approaches until it clicks. Not in a manner that overwhelms her. You are not a machine gun here. But in a paced manner that feels relevant.
You are just ping ponging back and forth with her until there is some momentum. And she hooks.
It often doesn't take much before the engine turns. Just a couple turns of the key, so to speak.
Then once you find a good conversational thread to ride, hang with it until a high point and make a move (be it number close, or instant date, depending on logistics).
One last tip
Get in a sort of observational, flexible mindset and just adjust what material you use based on what she throws at you.
When you are not approaching, observe your surroundings. Think of interesting observations you could share. Reality paces you could make about the circumstances.
Think of things you could say to anybody, not just the pretty gals you see. Ways you might approach them. Things you could say to start a conversation.
Slow down and be present.
Let things come to you in a way that is free flowing. Have prepared material, but don't be hung up on it
Have predetermined goals, but don't let them be your limit.
Be in the flow, follow the inspiration.
You are ready to bring more spice to your conversations.
You got this man.
