Seems to me that one of
my close wings is a psychic vampire. cuz, he is too damn negative, and It's like whenever I talk to him, I am just helping him solve his inner world. And he rarely ever applies to it. I didn't notice these patterns till a few months ago. I mean it's not like he is a bad person and I too am at a fault that I kind of created a relation here that I made myself look too available and free help.
And I just feel tired listening to him cuz even he is improving a lot in daygame and has got access to a really great pua (who is helping him in learning technical game) but everytime we talk, it feels like he carries miserable aura. And even though, I know how he feels cuz I have been in that position for many years so maybe that's why I just really hate it.
{And It really weird feels feels weird to me when someone is rapidly improving but still carries negativity}
Cuz, I do not want to go back there and even be reminded of that past which took lot of years and efforts to completely vanish. Guy thinks that he is a prize but keep on pursuing/chasing women for months .. then wonders why they leave him, always finds red flags in women (even when he is gaming in nightgame) ,.. but chases hard after women who flaked him multiple times.
I mean he is definitely improving his pickup skills but he recently told me that all his success is due to fake persona while failures are cuz of his real self. And he is actually at much higher level than me in terms of skills and results cuz I was on a big ass break. But, it feels like he is the one who needs more help than me.
I have actually told him what I think are his issues but It looks like he never implements them and even though he asks for suggestions but maybe it's more of validation. Idk. And he is always able to kind of reframe what I tell him in a way during conversation that even i get confused whether he actually has issues or not. Also, last year when I am really active in social circle scene (for the first time ever in my life), he said that cuz I was improving really fast then that can lead to downfall (something along that lines) and It happened. And this year, I was pracitsing my skills on online meetups (cuz can't go out that much) and he still was very negative about it and funny enough I even forgot my basic social skills this year. It's crazy that twice I was really improving at a really fast pace and he kind of jinxed it. Yup. Rather than telling me how to avoid pitfalls, he just put doubts in my mind. And it is definitely not due to some ill intention but his basic nature.
I just feel drained after talking to him. And even though I am not really going to cut contacts from him cuz known him for so long and some selfish reasons but I have stopped initiating conversations from my end and I will just no longer engage in conversations about his inner issues (I will tell him directly) and about his dates. Cuz It is definitely impacting me now.
Maybe, It's Machiavelian on my part but I am only human after all And I have stopped being so rigid in life.
And I recently had some big inner transformations and I no longer want to even engage in unneccesary negativity. And I know that I used to be really negative (even on these boards) so for that I apologise. Fuck! I am venting here. But, more than venting I am journaling how I feel right now.