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Thread 'Getting flaked repeatedly !!' https://www.skilledseducer.com/threads/getting-flaked-repeatedly.28445/
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Man of action
- Thread starter Spyce D
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This is simply introspection .
A lot of my past unhelpful beliefs Are coming to surface which are stopping me getting the success I have been working for since last July .
And that's the reason why I have seen guys with less game getting better results ... Simply cuz they had better beliefs , inner game .
Better self beliefs lead them to take more risks , more actions .
And it's not just in seduction but in my career as well . Seen folks with less credentials succeeding more than me Cuz of belief difference .
And now why do I say that is simply cuz for lot of years I only saw myself as failure ,.someone who was destined to fail and whenever I would start something ... The mindset would be there .
" I don't deserve women "
" I don't deserve beautiful women "
" I don't deserve success "
I had forgotten about the fact that these thoughts were dominating my mind in the backside while I was working , gaming .
Root cause of lot of pain is me believing myself destined to failure .
A lot of my past unhelpful beliefs Are coming to surface which are stopping me getting the success I have been working for since last July .
And that's the reason why I have seen guys with less game getting better results ... Simply cuz they had better beliefs , inner game .
Better self beliefs lead them to take more risks , more actions .
And it's not just in seduction but in my career as well . Seen folks with less credentials succeeding more than me Cuz of belief difference .
And now why do I say that is simply cuz for lot of years I only saw myself as failure ,.someone who was destined to fail and whenever I would start something ... The mindset would be there .
" I don't deserve women "
" I don't deserve beautiful women "
" I don't deserve success "
I had forgotten about the fact that these thoughts were dominating my mind in the backside while I was working , gaming .
Root cause of lot of pain is me believing myself destined to failure .
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BREAKING MY LIMITS AFTER 6 MONTHS BREAK
I restarted doing daygame after 6 ish months last sunday and due to me being busy with classes .. I went to game today .
Last sunday , I was able to do 7 approaches but today a whopping 20 approaches .
From a set of 7 chicks to a girl in my hometown (It's my first time , I direct opened in my hometown cuz of some limiting beliefs ).
It is the first time , I did an intense session ..which I need to do more till some part of my lifestyle changes , then I will be able to do daily but with less intense session.
I was also able to do solo game too .
And all this Happened cuz I was hustling in a social circle filled with women since last 3 weeks . Before that , I kind of fell into a slump . haha.
Had I not been working on my social circle game , I would have trouble opening .
Anyways , my issue was I was running out of things to say , so prematurely ejecting sets and stuttering during open .
I have kind of lost my vibe that I had built back then but still I was able to get 2 instagrams , both flaked lol
Anyways , this time round ...I have decided that I will focus on lot of things that I had been neglecting and to learn from my previous mistakes and have a killer vibe .
This time I won't overcomplicate or overthink .
I restarted doing daygame after 6 ish months last sunday and due to me being busy with classes .. I went to game today .
Last sunday , I was able to do 7 approaches but today a whopping 20 approaches .
From a set of 7 chicks to a girl in my hometown (It's my first time , I direct opened in my hometown cuz of some limiting beliefs ).
It is the first time , I did an intense session ..which I need to do more till some part of my lifestyle changes , then I will be able to do daily but with less intense session.
I was also able to do solo game too .
And all this Happened cuz I was hustling in a social circle filled with women since last 3 weeks . Before that , I kind of fell into a slump . haha.
Had I not been working on my social circle game , I would have trouble opening .
Anyways , my issue was I was running out of things to say , so prematurely ejecting sets and stuttering during open .
I have kind of lost my vibe that I had built back then but still I was able to get 2 instagrams , both flaked lol
Anyways , this time round ...I have decided that I will focus on lot of things that I had been neglecting and to learn from my previous mistakes and have a killer vibe .
This time I won't overcomplicate or overthink .
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It's time for me to begin a new and technical journey .
Have done enough approaches in past 3 sessions to know that I can approach , just fine .
But , I have gotten shit in conversation department ... which actually took me 8 months of constantly going out to get a consistent 50+% approach to hook ratio .
Now , I will be more technical in my daygame and rather than just focusing on approaching and learning game form there . [NOTE: I had a 6 months long break from game and seduction]
And I will learn the nuances of game form the social circle that I have been doing since 1 month , while going on daygame sessions on the side . And it has given me great momentum . Cuz , I am expanding my social circle like crazy and have experienced a bit of social proof too.
Just like how it's is in MMA , you don't learn how to fight by getting in amateur circuit (or Gods forbid .. a professional one ) but by practising in the gym and sparring with partners .
And it's the recent forum post by @Will_V , that has helped me realise this ..cuz as I said , I can open easily but am having trouble creating connections .
Have done enough approaches in past 3 sessions to know that I can approach , just fine .
But , I have gotten shit in conversation department ... which actually took me 8 months of constantly going out to get a consistent 50+% approach to hook ratio .
Now , I will be more technical in my daygame and rather than just focusing on approaching and learning game form there . [NOTE: I had a 6 months long break from game and seduction]
And I will learn the nuances of game form the social circle that I have been doing since 1 month , while going on daygame sessions on the side . And it has given me great momentum . Cuz , I am expanding my social circle like crazy and have experienced a bit of social proof too.
Just like how it's is in MMA , you don't learn how to fight by getting in amateur circuit (or Gods forbid .. a professional one ) but by practising in the gym and sparring with partners .
And it's the recent forum post by @Will_V , that has helped me realise this ..cuz as I said , I can open easily but am having trouble creating connections .
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I feel like a toothless tiger in social circle . LOL
Maybe cuz I am using it to improve my social skills which I never could (as never had any social circle with girls , before ) .
But , even though I am improving my skills and my comfort around women ... still having a hard time with certain things .. as if I am missing something crucial in my abilities .
Maybe cuz I am using it to improve my social skills which I never could (as never had any social circle with girls , before ) .
But , even though I am improving my skills and my comfort around women ... still having a hard time with certain things .. as if I am missing something crucial in my abilities .
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REDO OF THE SPYCE DADDY
Day 1
Finally, I am back in the field for real.
Today, just to get comfortable I thought about doing as many directional approaches as I could without putting any further pressure on me. And I ended up doing 13 indirect and 2 direct. The direct ones sort of came out of me when I saw those girls and also cuz I had built up momentum by that time.
I will go out again this week and my goal would be to not run away after the opener, rather just embrace the awkwardness.
Note: Feels like I have retasted my most favourite drug and I want MORE
Day 1
Finally, I am back in the field for real.
Today, just to get comfortable I thought about doing as many directional approaches as I could without putting any further pressure on me. And I ended up doing 13 indirect and 2 direct. The direct ones sort of came out of me when I saw those girls and also cuz I had built up momentum by that time.
I will go out again this week and my goal would be to not run away after the opener, rather just embrace the awkwardness.
Note: Feels like I have retasted my most favourite drug and I want MORE
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Day 3
I just came back from the field. Was only able to do 6 indirect and one direct. No convos.
The good thing is that even though I was dealing with some kind of panic today , most likey due to the fact that I have stopped drinking alcohol.. but I still went out in the field.
The bad thing is that cuz of me taking roughly 1.5 years break from the game. All my issues related to anxiety, regret and some OCDs have come back again.
So, I will just keep on doing what I am doing.
I just came back from the field. Was only able to do 6 indirect and one direct. No convos.
The good thing is that even though I was dealing with some kind of panic today , most likey due to the fact that I have stopped drinking alcohol.. but I still went out in the field.
The bad thing is that cuz of me taking roughly 1.5 years break from the game. All my issues related to anxiety, regret and some OCDs have come back again.
So, I will just keep on doing what I am doing.
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It's crazy that I have improved my beliefs so much that even looking at my past posts here regarding my former beliefs and issues make me cringe. Even though improving my inner beliefs is a life long journey for me but I have definitely reached a level where I can overcome my thoughts through taking action and if I can't take action then I no longer criticize myself.
"All the falilures were cuz of me while all of success was cuz of luck" used to be my mindset for many years and It's so defeating as how can someone even want to succeed when he thinks that his real self is made for failure.
And a couple of weeks ago, It felt like lot of my former beliefs got broken like old shackles and I was finally free but since I have been feeling empty and blank in mind,soul,life.
I also was able to do solo daygame session yesterday as well. 5 direct approaches. It was like a big breakthrough till now in my game journey. And It all happened cuz I am religiously improving my inner beliefs and making my life in such a way which give me small wins daily. So, even though I have only gone out like 6 times till now since 13 august. But, I have improved a lot in these sessions even though I went out to approach with a gap of 10-12 days and I was staying at home and not even going to social gathering that much. It all changed cuz I CHANGED MYSELF.
"All the falilures were cuz of me while all of success was cuz of luck" used to be my mindset for many years and It's so defeating as how can someone even want to succeed when he thinks that his real self is made for failure.
And a couple of weeks ago, It felt like lot of my former beliefs got broken like old shackles and I was finally free but since I have been feeling empty and blank in mind,soul,life.
I also was able to do solo daygame session yesterday as well. 5 direct approaches. It was like a big breakthrough till now in my game journey. And It all happened cuz I am religiously improving my inner beliefs and making my life in such a way which give me small wins daily. So, even though I have only gone out like 6 times till now since 13 august. But, I have improved a lot in these sessions even though I went out to approach with a gap of 10-12 days and I was staying at home and not even going to social gathering that much. It all changed cuz I CHANGED MYSELF.
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Seems to me that one of my close wings is a psychic vampire. cuz, he is too damn negative, and It's like whenever I talk to him, I am just helping him solve his inner world. And he rarely ever applies to it. I didn't notice these patterns till a few months ago. I mean it's not like he is a bad person and I too am at a fault that I kind of created a relation here that I made myself look too available and free help.
And I just feel tired listening to him cuz even he is improving a lot in daygame and has got access to a really great pua (who is helping him in learning technical game) but everytime we talk, it feels like he carries miserable aura. And even though, I know how he feels cuz I have been in that position for many years so maybe that's why I just really hate it.
{And It really weird feels feels weird to me when someone is rapidly improving but still carries negativity}
Cuz, I do not want to go back there and even be reminded of that past which took lot of years and efforts to completely vanish. Guy thinks that he is a prize but keep on pursuing/chasing women for months .. then wonders why they leave him, always finds red flags in women (even when he is gaming in nightgame) ,.. but chases hard after women who flaked him multiple times.
I mean he is definitely improving his pickup skills but he recently told me that all his success is due to fake persona while failures are cuz of his real self. And he is actually at much higher level than me in terms of skills and results cuz I was on a big ass break. But, it feels like he is the one who needs more help than me.
I have actually told him what I think are his issues but It looks like he never implements them and even though he asks for suggestions but maybe it's more of validation. Idk. And he is always able to kind of reframe what I tell him in a way during conversation that even i get confused whether he actually has issues or not. Also, last year when I am really active in social circle scene (for the first time ever in my life), he said that cuz I was improving really fast then that can lead to downfall (something along that lines) and It happened. And this year, I was pracitsing my skills on online meetups (cuz can't go out that much) and he still was very negative about it and funny enough I even forgot my basic social skills this year. It's crazy that twice I was really improving at a really fast pace and he kind of jinxed it. Yup. Rather than telling me how to avoid pitfalls, he just put doubts in my mind. And it is definitely not due to some ill intention but his basic nature.
I just feel drained after talking to him. And even though I am not really going to cut contacts from him cuz known him for so long and some selfish reasons but I have stopped initiating conversations from my end and I will just no longer engage in conversations about his inner issues (I will tell him directly) and about his dates. Cuz It is definitely impacting me now.
Maybe, It's Machiavelian on my part but I am only human after all And I have stopped being so rigid in life.
And I recently had some big inner transformations and I no longer want to even engage in unneccesary negativity. And I know that I used to be really negative (even on these boards) so for that I apologise. Fuck! I am venting here. But, more than venting I am journaling how I feel right now.
And I just feel tired listening to him cuz even he is improving a lot in daygame and has got access to a really great pua (who is helping him in learning technical game) but everytime we talk, it feels like he carries miserable aura. And even though, I know how he feels cuz I have been in that position for many years so maybe that's why I just really hate it.
{And It really weird feels feels weird to me when someone is rapidly improving but still carries negativity}
Cuz, I do not want to go back there and even be reminded of that past which took lot of years and efforts to completely vanish. Guy thinks that he is a prize but keep on pursuing/chasing women for months .. then wonders why they leave him, always finds red flags in women (even when he is gaming in nightgame) ,.. but chases hard after women who flaked him multiple times.
I mean he is definitely improving his pickup skills but he recently told me that all his success is due to fake persona while failures are cuz of his real self. And he is actually at much higher level than me in terms of skills and results cuz I was on a big ass break. But, it feels like he is the one who needs more help than me.
I have actually told him what I think are his issues but It looks like he never implements them and even though he asks for suggestions but maybe it's more of validation. Idk. And he is always able to kind of reframe what I tell him in a way during conversation that even i get confused whether he actually has issues or not. Also, last year when I am really active in social circle scene (for the first time ever in my life), he said that cuz I was improving really fast then that can lead to downfall (something along that lines) and It happened. And this year, I was pracitsing my skills on online meetups (cuz can't go out that much) and he still was very negative about it and funny enough I even forgot my basic social skills this year. It's crazy that twice I was really improving at a really fast pace and he kind of jinxed it. Yup. Rather than telling me how to avoid pitfalls, he just put doubts in my mind. And it is definitely not due to some ill intention but his basic nature.
I just feel drained after talking to him. And even though I am not really going to cut contacts from him cuz known him for so long and some selfish reasons but I have stopped initiating conversations from my end and I will just no longer engage in conversations about his inner issues (I will tell him directly) and about his dates. Cuz It is definitely impacting me now.
Maybe, It's Machiavelian on my part but I am only human after all And I have stopped being so rigid in life.
And I recently had some big inner transformations and I no longer want to even engage in unneccesary negativity. And I know that I used to be really negative (even on these boards) so for that I apologise. Fuck! I am venting here. But, more than venting I am journaling how I feel right now.