Your openers are great! And your verbal game seems to be getting more amazing by the day. Its great that you are in an English speaking country. Where you don't speak the native language unfortunately like where I am, I cannot exploit or develop my verbal Game to the fullest as I have to many a times dumb down my English. So I am concentrating on developing simpler openers and gambits and I am finding out how Mystery Method was pure gold. Since my intro to Game was through Direct Daygame I only remember people tooling and mocking Mystery.
But now I see what Teevster writes about in this article here:
Many seduction newbies get sold on “natural game” because it seems so appealing and, well, natural. But its shortcomings vastly outweigh its value for getting girls. Contents 1. Historical Background of Natural Game Why Do People Love It? Lowered Expectations 2. The Technical Problems with...
www.girlschase.com
Technical Game is opening my eyes to what I have been blind to all these days. Teevster, Gunwitch, Mystery, Chase and others are the OGs and have golden nuggets of pickup wisdom.
Me: Hey there. I have an important question to ask you. *she stops* Me: If I were to ask you how your night was going on a scale of 1-10, what would you say? HB: TERRIBLE!!!!!!!!!! Me: Oh no – tell me, what’s happened? HB: IT’S BEEN THE WORST NIGHT EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Me: We all have experienced pain and sadness… so I know what it’s like. But the thing I’ve learned is that while it may storm sometimes… and it feels like the world is over… the clouds always part and allow us to have… a perspective that’s a little more positive, like how our scars make us stronger. Know what I mean? HB: Yeah, but tonight has been REALLY BAD. Like REALLY REALLY BAD. I think that I broke my hand after getting in a fight! My parents are getting divorced! My sister is ridiculous! I was just at a party with my twin, and she is getting fucked, right now, by some guy, and I was just sitting in the other room! I was like, I can’t even be here right now! She’s getting fucked and I’m just sitting there! And I was so lost, I didn’t even know where I was! My phone is dead and it’s just been HORRIBLE!
Also sending the conversation with HB2 down a negative path, wasn't what killed the set (if she had been alone, it wouldn't have mattered that he asked her why her night was shit) as she still wanted to keep talking
HB2: Yeah! How old are you!???! Me: Take a guess. HB2: Are you a freshman? HB1: He’s definitely a freshman or sophomore. *HB1 suddenly points to a passing car* HB1: Look, HB2, there’s our ride! HB1 then grabs the arms of HB2, says bye, and runs down the street to the car. HB2 keeps looking at me and obviously wanted to keep talking, but her friend is clearly the more dominant of the two.
it was more that his flowery way of speaking cringed HB1. So even he had responded with the bolded bit first (which is less cringey than the meta pace), the follow up meta pace (Me: Well, have you ever noticed how life-changing it is… to meet new people? As you engage with new people and different perspectives, you learn things about yourself that you like, don’t like, and don’t even know existed) would've still cringed HB1. Still resulting in, "look, HB2, there's our ride!"
As for your challenges with ASD when closing things out, @Bismarck has already nudged you in the right direction. Since that old saying, “an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure” is doubly true when it comes to anti-slut-defense.
We begin walking together, but she stops at ironically the same spot that I met HBGlide. She wants to take a break and talk more. We lean against the wall, and her body is leaned up against mine. Okay. She wants to be comforted. Tells me all about her life. Parents, family, school, home, friends, everything. Also wants me to hold her hand, which I do. We’re at this spot for about twenty minutes, and she is increasingly getting physical. I’m just pacing her words, and she’s liking it.
In any case, we need to get moving. I have her start walking with me back to her dorm, and she’s not letting go of my hand. The conversation continues on the way, but it’s mostly me listening and pacing her. I know so much about this girl from her high school track times to the name of her friend in Mississippi. After a while, she informs me that she doesn’t have her access card to get in the dorms. And her phone is dead, so she can’t scan in digitally, either. I’m like, “How are you going to get in?”
She answers with a question. “Where do you live?”
Alllllllllriiiiiight then. Really don’t think that she could make her intentions any more direct. I ask her if she’s ever been to [park], which is right across the street from my apartment. She says no but that she would like to see it. On we go. Our discussion continues in the same manner. I get her opening up to me. And she feels much better now, so I’m happy about that, too. Seems like she was a little tempermental about some of the stuff she said earlier. Reveals how glad she is to have met me. Maybe it’s fate, I say. She likes that comment.
On the way, HBBrooklyn is very much trying to draw my attention to her body. Waits for me to make eye contact and then readjusts her bra. Does that multiple times. Interestingly, she mentions some guy friend. Says they’re kind of dating but not really, just very good friends. I ignore it.
I just want to say to lofty, this is by far in my almost 10 years in the community the best journal I have seen . I keep taking notes, the beauty is that though the progression is slow is super solid...
Your openers are great! And your verbal game seems to be getting more amazing by the day. Its great that you are in an English speaking country. Where you don't speak the native language unfortunately like where I am, I cannot exploit or develop my verbal Game to the fullest as I have to many a times dumb down my English. So I am concentrating on developing simpler openers and gambits and I am finding out how Mystery Method was pure gold. Since my intro to Game was through Direct Daygame I only remember people tooling and mocking Mystery.
But now I see what Teevster writes about in this article here:
Many seduction newbies get sold on “natural game” because it seems so appealing and, well, natural. But its shortcomings vastly outweigh its value for getting girls. Contents 1. Historical Background of Natural Game Why Do People Love It? Lowered Expectations 2. The Technical Problems with...
www.girlschase.com
Technical Game is opening my eyes to what I have been blind to all these days. Teevster, Gunwitch, Mystery, Chase and others are the OGs and have golden nuggets of pickup wisdom.
^ I know what you are saying i had same issues, lost a lay like that once, some other guys reported similar as well ^
1.- Problems with the delivery…- I lost a lay trying to translate sex talk from English to Spanish, I was in my head fumbling, and pausing and the translation was horrible = pure disaster.
First sex talk/sexting is a misleading term because sex talk is not “I want my cock deep inside your pussy and bust all over your face” (though this could actually … Continue Reading →
Tuesday, September 29 Daygame/Kinda Social Circle? – 1 approach, 1 FU (pulled to apartment but faced boyfriend LMR/ASD… again)
Street Nightgame – 8 approaches, 4 numbers
Unfortunately, all of my leads from the weekend are dead. It’s inefficient and bothering me. I send the standard icebreaker text with a little recall info and then a follow-up asking what her schedule is like for the week. Little success. They don’t hesitate to hug me and give their number, though? Am I just validation for them?
Whatever.
I begin this day with early-morning classes. In between, I see a slightly-above average redhead standing around that I once had a class with before, but we did not develop much of a relationship. Though, there are a few loose social circle ties between us. That frame itself makes it very okay to approach her on-campus. So, I do. I near and her eyes light up when she sees me, which is honestly shocking. I did not expect that, at all. Masks on, by the way - that’s required on-campus.
HB: Lofty!!!!! Me (very surprised by her warmness): Hey there, HB! I’ve just now realized how long it’s been since we last talked! But I mean, have you ever noticed how crazy… the passage of time works? It’s like we see each other now, and there’s still that sense of familiarity… like it was just yesterday that we had class together. HB: Yeah! How are you?! Me: It’s really interesting that you mention that… you know, we live in such a unique time. We go to class… and work… and live amidst absurdity… but we cling to the hope for calm and happiness… because this is what we truly want, right? So, I’d say that I’m optimistic… because I like the vibe that optimistic people give. Know what I mean? HB: For sure! It’s like we really just have to keep going and hope for the best. It’s tough… Me: Yeah, I definitely get that. So I think it’s been really important for us… just to find a way… to relax… during all of this. What have you been doing to keep your mind clear? HB: Oh, I’ve just been working… I haven’t relaxed much at all. Me: Is that right? Well, in my experience, all it takes is just one little moment… and maybe a nice little chat… to feel so much better. When do you finish class? HB: [same time as me] Me: Okay, me too. How about we meet outside after class and chat over some coffee? HB: Sure! I already have coffee though *shows me her mug* Me: No problem, we’ll figure something out while walking across campus. Let me get your number so we can stay in touch. HB: Okay, sounds good
We say our goodbyes, and I send her a text about 15 minutes later about how it was nice to talk again and that I’ll see her after class. She gives the text a “like.”
When it’s time, I see her outside the building waiting for me. Nice. I can tell that she’s smiling under her mask when she sees me:
HB: Hi! How was class? Me: Oh, the same as usual… boring…uneventful… really leaves me hoping for something a bit more exciting to happen today. Yours? HB: Same! Where do you want to go? Me: Did you drive here? HB: Yep! Me: Okay, well I just walk everywhere… so how about we just head to your car and figure things out on the way there? HB: Alright *we begin walking* Me: So tell me, HB, if I were to ask you what was one thing that you liked to do besides eating, sleeping, and going to class, what would you say? HB: Really, I just work all of the time… Me: You just… work… all of the time? HB: What have you been up to? Me: I’ve been trying to diversify my experiences… because I’ve realized how important it is… to see things with a unique perspective… and an open-mind. So I’ve been reading a lot… getting better at producing music… and simply trying to be a bit more spontaneous. HB: What sort of music do you produce? Me: Oh well, I’m still working on it, but I like it to be a bit unique and have some ambiance… I wouldn’t want to put it into one word… maybe I’ll just have to show you. HB: I’d be interested to hear it!
I lead the conversation in just about every direction besides where we’re going as we walk to her car because I’m getting the sense that I can get her to go straight to my place… and I didn’t really want to spend any money. I pace her on topics like traveling (her adventurous vacation to Orlando), open-mindedness, and not judging others.
We reach her car, take our masks off, and she once more asks where we should go and inquires if I’m hungry. I say no, not really, and she’s not either (it’s about 11:00 am). So I suggest we just go to my place – which is only a few minutes away – and we can continue this nice conversation and maybe check out some music. She agrees with no resistance.
Reaching my place, I lead her inside and ask her to take her shoes off, but she begins to get a little nervous. Says “she’s good” about leaving her shoes on. I say that I really like to keep my place clean, but whatever makes her comfortable is fine with me. Sitting on my couch, I tell her to sit down as well. She does but leaves space between us. Conversation continues.
Me: HB, have you noticed how interacting with other people is just so… fascinating? Like you and me, for example. So many people just go through their everyday lives without taking the opportunity to get to know the people right next to them… but see how nice of a time it’s been for us once we just began talking… and THRUST ourselves into the THICK of it? HB: Yeah… *I continue saying stuff like that for about ten minutes and am riffing the best I ever have. My cadence and tonality are VIBING… and she calms down with a softened stare. Then she says something interesting…* HB: Lofty… people always ask me about you… *remember, I really don’t know this girl that well, so I’m very, very surprised* Me: Really? Who asks? HB: I don’t know… people. Me: What do they ask about? HB: Well… where you are (social circle-wise, I’m very elusive, to say the least), what you’re doing, who you’re with… no one knows anything about you. Me: So they say that I’m mysterious? HB: Yeah… people don’t know why you never open up to anyone… Me: Do you wonder that, too? HB (voice is shaking at this point): Oh… you know… I’m like the opposite. I’m an open book. I open up to people so easily, and I get hurt… Me: I completely understand that. We live in a world where people take advantage of others so often… maybe because they might be too kind, caring, and compassionate. But that’s why it’s so important that when you find people who really… really… understand you… to keep them in your life… and maybe get closer to them. *I move next to her* Me (gently touching the Greek letters dangling off her bracelet): Like your sorority sisters, right? You’re close with them? HB: Actually… not so much anymore… Me: Oh okay… so you need someone else to get close to…
I then slowly move one of my hands up her arm, and the other replaces where the first one was on her wrist, which is resting on her thigh. She’s smiling and breathing heavily. I pause for a moment and try a deep stare into her eyes, she returns it, but then it gets messy.
HB: I’m sorry, I have a boyfriend! Me: Oh? I’d never want you to break you with your boyfriend. Actually, I think your boyfriend would be really proud of you right now. You’re showing how exciting and adventurous you are. Plus, don’t you feel like such a strong… EMPOWERED… woman by knowing what you want… and not being afraid to go after it? HB: Oh… our 1-year anniversary is next week… I really like him… this isn’t what I was expecting… *pulls back and stands up* Me: Well, I don’t want to do anything that you don’t want to do. HB: I’m sorry, I have to go now… Me: Okay, no worries. I’ll walk you back to your car. HB: Thanks
I didn’t persist more because this girl isn’t an HBBrooklyn… she’s a good girl. And I could tell that she really cared for her boyfriend… I think? I don’t know, we did get pretty far before she brought him up. But I recognized her ethics and felt a little bad, honestly… because she was really, really close to breaking… and that would have messed with her head… A LOT.
So I let her go. Her ASD kicks in as we get to her cat. Says something about not liking deceitful people (hence removing all responsibility from her). I return by saying that I don’t either, and I know that she has a really strong ability to perceive the character of others. That helps some. She smiles before getting in her car, and I say that I had a nice time with her and we should talk sometime soon. She smiles, nods, and leaves.
Let’s see how I did on the anti-ASD points:
1.- She needs to know that you won’t judge her as a slut or a whore for going home fast with you.
Satisfied somewhat. Talked about open-mindedness, spontaneity, and Skills’ “I have a boyfriend” response about it simply being exciting and her being a strong women. But could have added in sex talk.
2.- She needs to know you are sexually competent, in other words that you are good in bed.
-Satisfied. I gave off definite fuckboy vibes.
3.- She needs to know she will be safe. Since you are much stronger than her and you have the ability to harm her physically.
-Satisfied. Completely trusted me and understood my character. Also didn’t physically persist when she pulled back.
4.- She needs to know you are not going to use her, aka fuck her and tell her to get the fuck out making her feel like shit. (most false rape accusations happened due to this)
-Nope. Didn’t address this. Seems like this was a big problem.
5.- She needs to know that you will not be a clinger, stalker or super needy after sex and pushy before sex.
-Think I satisfied this one… her issue was probably more towards Point 4?
Overall, I could have done better. The entire interaction was about an hour.
The 1-year anniversary thing still does gnaw at me, though. I think that I will make a decision to not game any girl who knows my real name, with the exception of one super sexy, high-quality blonde… but that one is a work in progress, at best.
I try daygaming for a short while, but the uptick in COVID cases has resulted in masks everywhere and less people outside. Resultantly, I couldn’t find an approach opportunity.
Street Nightgame
So on to street nightgaming. I’ll just do a debrief this time. Of note, pretty much no one wears masks during nightlife here (ironic considering the daytime environment), so approaching is more straight-forward.
The thing was that I felt a little off. Not sure why. I was on just three hours off sleep, though, and it was a long day. I was neither as smooth nor tact as the morning or prior days – very frustrating. Here’s how it went.
I’m dressed in my “Red PUMA” outfit – red jacket, slim jeans, red high-tops, necklace, and bracelet. Ready to pounce.
First approach is a moving two-set. “1-10” opener. Hook them. The hotter girl practically agrees to come to my place, but I mess up and number close… which leaves her confused and asking if I will text her later. Her friend is below average and absurdly drunk for 9:30, and she no joke, starts sprinting away and my target has to go after her. Text her later with no response.
Next one is another moving girl… don’t hook her completely as she doesn’t stop walking, but we keep talking and she’s engaged. She just watched the debate and seems like a politically charged person, so I don’t delve into that in the slightest. Number close as she walks into her apartment… eh the vibe wasn’t there with that girl.
Third approach is my best of the night. Cute girl sitting alone on an isolated bench. Looks upset. Speaker-centered pre-opener, RPO opener. She’s upset. Just was in a fight with her boyfriend of three years and she blames herself. Read between the lines, and it seemed like he was asking for sex but she didn’t want it. She’s comforted by me explaining the importance of perspectives and understanding the emotions driving the actions of others, and how it isn’t her fault that her boyfriend has unfair, selfish expectations. I laugh a bit as she gives me her phone number when her ride comes.
Fourth is an odd one. Walking back to the active area on a darker backroad, I see a blonde bad bitch-type nearing. “1-10” moving opener. Stopped and hooked. She’s clearly on drugs and is looking for weed. I don’t blame her because we all want to feel calm and relaxed in these difficult times, right? She’s definitely intrigued by me, but I lose frame when I ask to walk with her to her friends after number closing. Wants to walk by herself as she’s an independent woman. Says she’ll text me to meet up but never does.
I’m 4 for 4 in number closes so far but who cares about nightgame number closes. My vibe is off and I’m not leading conversations well. I’m far too inconsistent with that!
“1-10” moving opener not too long after, girl doesn’t respond… wasn’t too attractive, either. Interesante.
Moving two-set, “1-10” opener. More attractive girl likes me, average friend cockblocks successfully. Also mess up by essentially inviting myself to her apartment, wtf, very miscalibrated. My horniness is getting to me. But she was interested. Didn’t try to number close.
Ah, I’ll transcribe the next two. They merge together. Probably messed up a threesome opportunity. Really interesting interaction. And more high-level cockblocking, so congrats on taking a nice fucking away from your “friend,” ladies. Sheesh.
It begins with approaching two girls at a traffic light. One of them is a petite sexy blonde wearing a pink sweatshirt and dark grey leggings – epitomizing a fine derriere. I want her so badly. Friend, again, very average. And guess who does the cock-blocking.
They’re about the only two people wearing masks. I open from the side of the stopped super-cutie:
Me: Hey there. I’ve just realized something fascinating – maybe you’ll agree. Have you ever noticed how the temperature… the vibe of the air… can really influence… the way that we feel? Like now… the temperature has cooled… and we’re relaxed as a result… but the brisk air tells us that something exciting is within the realm of possibility. HB: Holy fuck, are you a philosopher or something? Me: Am I philosopher or something? I’m simply observing… what is simply left to be observed, like don’t you also make exciting observations about the world, too? HB: Well, yeah… but… wooooow *takes a side-step so our arms are touching and looks at me suggestively* Me: *completely freeze up as dick goes insane*
*we get the walk signal and I don’t notice because my dick is going insane* HB: Heeeeey. We got the walk sign! Let’s all walk together HB: Where are you going? Me (mentally rebalancing): I’m just… decompressing on a walk… after a long night.. because I get the sense that good things can happen… at any moment… perhaps even something unexpected… like meeting someone new and interesting. HB: Oh yeah? *grabs the bottom of my jacket as we get back on the sidewalk, faces me, and closes the distance, keeping eye contact… her sweatshirt is soooooo soft* HB: Well we’re going to [food stand]… and then we’re going home… *Friend finally gets off of her phone and looks towards us, steps to the side of HB, then looks at me… I think that I have to pacify the friend… but the insane dick thing is happening again* Me: I get the vibe from you two that you are really close… perhaps best friends… always looking out for each other… and perhaps have a natural connection… almost as if it was fate… do you believe in fate? Friend: So you’re asking for a threesome?
Me: You know, I think that if men and women look at each other… in a certain special way… then anything can happen.. if we are open-minded enough. Friend: WELL, I’D NEVER DO THAT. *Friend grabs HB away from me and they have a girl huddle*
*HB comes back giggling while friend gives me mean eyes* HB: You can come get food with us, but then me and my friend are going home, okay? Me: Sure. You never know what can happen if you’re adventurous enough... know what I mean? HB: Uhmmmmm-hhmmmmmmm *we get to line for the food stand – it was right across the street. It’s like 1:45 AM* HB: Sooooooo whaaaaat’s your naaaammmmme Me: Lofty… yours? HB: [says my alias]…. That’s a really cool naaaammmmme . I’m HB! *I look at friend expecting to hear her name but she gives me stone-cold icey eyes instead… I go back to HB* Me: Okay then HB, if I were to ask you what you liked to do besides eating, sleeping, and partying… what would you say? HB: Football!!!!!!! Me: So what is it about football that… really gets you going? Is it the opportunity to spend time with your friends… and alleviate the tension of a long week… or maybe it’s the sense of shared community… where we all feel so close together? HB: You’re so silly, Lofty! Everyone likes football because it’s football! Friend: Tie my shoe. Me: What. Friend: Yeah, tie my shoe. *her shoe is untied… what kind of frame grab is this?* HB: Yeah, tie her shoe! She’s kind of a big deal around here! Me: Is that right? Why is that? Friend:I’m an intern for Barstool Sports. *Personally, I find that to be much more of a turn-off than any amount of accomplishment* Friend: So you better tie my shoe! Me: You know, sure, you may get other men to tie your shoe. But I’m not like that. What I really like – and maybe you’ll agree – is strong, independent women who aren’t afraid to take care of themselves. HB: Loftyyyyyyyy….. tie her shoeeeeeeeeee! Friend: Huh! *turns to next guy, asks him to tie her shoe, and he does it… wtf… hence that one thread we had on here* Friend (to me): How dare you! You didn’t tie my shoe, and you’re talking to me without a mask! I can’t get afford to get COVID because I work at Barstool. Me (trying to control myself but getting really upset): I get that. You probably worked really hard to get that internship, so I completely understand why you don’t want to get sick. It makes perfect sense. Friend: PUT ON YOUR MASK IF YOU WANT TO KEEP TALKING TO US. I’M NOT GONNA GET COVID BECAUSE OF YOU. AND YOU’RE WAY TOO CLOSE TO HB RIGHT NOW *pulls her away from me, again* Me:… Me:… Me: You do realize that you’re currently in an overcrowded line for a hamburger at 2:00 AM on a Tuesday, right? HB: Lofty!!!!!!! I can’t believe you’d say that to her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *they both turn their backs to me* Me(fully realizing the hotness of HB): …but you’re saying that you’ll talk to me if I put a mask on? *DON’T DO IT LOFTY* Friend: Yeah! HB: Yeah! Me: … you know what, whatever. It’s been nice meeting you, HB. *I turn away*
Hell yeah, that was some willpower right there. I can feel them staring when a hot blonde eating a bratwurst immediately opens me. LOL.
HB2: I love your headband! Me: Thanks! What do you love about it? HB2: It’s just really unique! Me: Do you like things that are unique? HB2: Uh-huh! *SHE BEGINS LICKING THE BRATWURST AND MOVING IT AROUND IT HER MOUTH JUST COMPLETELY TAUNTING ME I AM NOT KIDDING* HB2: Wait, what’s you name? Me: Lofty. What’s yours? HB2: Lofty… that’s a unique name, you’re a unique guy! I’m HB2! Where are you from? Me: Take a guess. HB2: Dallas? Me: Why do you say that? HB2: You have an accent! *maybe a little… but not that type of accent haha* Me: I’m actually from around [place]. Where are you from? HB2: Boston! Me: Interesting. I hear that they’re really… adventurous… in Boston. Is that right? HB2 (eyeing me): Uh-huh!!! *Her friend materializes from nowhere* Friend2: I’m her sorority Big! I’m taking her back in the bar now. HB2: Whatever you say, sis! Byeeeeee Lofty! *Friend2 wraps her arm around HB2 and speed walks away* Me: Nooooooooooooooooooooooo……..!
Then HB and Friend reenter the scene:
HB: I see how it is. So you’re just talking to all of the girls out here, then? Me: Uh, she actually talked to me. HB: Where have you been tonight? Me: I’ve been hanging around… relaxing… decompressing. *bad answer* Friend: We’re leaving now, hmmph! *takes HB and they begin to leave* Me (noticing that Friend has her mask down now): Hey, shouldn’t you be wearing your mask?
And immediately turn my back to them and leave… eh, probably didn’t handle that well. But that girl was annoying. I think that she was just sexually frustrated or something. Like that’s what happens when she hangs around a super hottie all of the time. Doesn’t get the attention, so she makes it for herself. I don’t know. I’d be interested to hear perspectives on that because it was a crazy interaction, but I get the feeling that the friend was kinda DTF… just wanted to be tamed maybe?
I then go home pretty sexually frustrated myself.
The fact that I should have had three good lays in five days is just… oh my god.
This sent your conversation down a negative path, then you tried to jump into a meta pace. It almost looks like. . . you were using it argue with their perspective. That. . . is generally a no-no in seduction.
I see that I’ve been doing this far too much. Will adjust accordingly. Positive words for a positive result that make sense for both her logical and emotional brain.
Maybe you just noticed your earlier mistake then, and tried to correct it with a new topic. Or perhaps you simply decided to stubbornly follow a pre-conceived persuasion plan. . . instead of listening and adjusting. That. . . is another no-no.
You’re right. There are times when I am too quick to move towards preferred topics instead of gently nudging the conversation in that direction. Sometimes I flow with the verbals naturally, while other times they are miscalibrated. Skills has pointed out something similar. I’ll fix it!
When you hear girls rate their night 3 out of 10, your first objective must be to reframe not to ask why.
If you had responded to that low rating with some version of what I bolded. . . and then followed things up with the meta pace. Then both of these girls would have been eating out of your palms with alacrity. Because that bolded bit above was a pretty smooth pace and lead. . . which you unfortunately said too late. Time's rarely on your side when seducing girls after dark. This means you need to stay present as things unfold and be quick on your feet.
So, for example, would these have been proper reframes?
Me: If I were to ask you how your night was going on a scale of 1-10, what would you say? HB: Like a three! It’s been horrible! Me: I see. You know, everyone has those types of nights where things just aren’t going the way we want them to, so that’s a very natural response that we would all have. But in my experience, I’ve found that a bad night can suddenly become a great night… in just an instant… simply perhaps by allowing ourselves to have an open-mind.
Me: If I were to ask you how your night was going on a scale of 1-10, what would you say? HB: 7! It’s been okay! Me: I completely understand that. It’s been so-so for me, too. It’s like while there’s still intrigue and excitement in the air… perhaps that special something just hasn’t happened yet. That’s what I’m hoping for, too… and I feel like it can happen at any moment… if we just relax and aren’t afraid to THRUST ourselves into the THICK of things when the time comes.
Me: If I were to ask you how your night was going on a scale of 1-10, what would you say? HB: 10 out of 10! It’s been the perfect night! I’ve won hundreds of dollars from drinking games, beat up my ex-boyfriend, and had an eightsome with male strippers! Me: Ah. To me, that does seem like the PERFECT night. You were able to relax… express yourself… and even fulfill some of your desires. But you know, don’t we always remember those times when we thought things were going well… but suddenly… they got EVEN BETTER? Personally, I think that’s always a possibility… if we recognize the opportunity and are adventurous enough.
Also, one of these girls implicitly brought up COVID 19 as you spoke. . . so it would be a pragmatic step for you to take some time and come up with a meta pace to reframe the pandemic effectively in case it is brought up again. I have my way of doing this. . . but I'm curious to see what you develop.
Ran into that again last night as shown in my most recent journal entry. I’ll come up with something and try to implement it when the opportunity arises.
I just want to say to lofty, this is by far in my almost 10 years in the community the best journal I have seen . I keep taking notes, the beauty is that though the progression is slow is super solid...
@LoftyYour openers are great! And your verbal game seems to be getting more amazing by the day. Its great that you are in an English speaking country. Where you don't speak the native language unfortunately like where I am, I cannot exploit or develop my verbal Game to the fullest as I have to many a times dumb down my English. So I am concentrating on developing simpler openers and gambits and I am finding out how Mystery Method was pure gold.
I can defintely see how this would be frustrating!
It's especially intriguing because I know that Bacchus has a LR where he said the girl was "fresh off the boat." I almost wonder that if the subcommunication is absolutely spot-on, then maybe complex verbals will still be effective as long as she has a basic understanding of the language like his girl did. Perhaps it will even urge her to... hang... on...to... every... single... word... trying to understand this exotic man… who speaks in such a seductive way…
Your openers are great! And your verbal game seems to be getting more amazing by the day. Its great that you are in an English speaking country. Where you don't speak the native language unfortunately like where I am, I cannot exploit or develop my verbal Game to the fullest as I have to many a times dumb down my English. So I am concentrating on developing simpler openers and gambits and I am finding out how Mystery Method was pure gold. Since my intro to Game was through Direct Daygame I only remember people tooling and mocking Mystery.
But now I see what Teevster writes about in this article here:
Many seduction newbies get sold on “natural game” because it seems so appealing and, well, natural. But its shortcomings vastly outweigh its value for getting girls. Contents 1. Historical Background of Natural Game Why Do People Love It? Lowered Expectations 2. The Technical Problems with...
www.girlschase.com
Technical Game is opening my eyes to what I have been blind to all these days. Teevster, Gunwitch, Mystery, Chase and others are the OGs and have golden nuggets of pickup wisdom.
It's refreshing to see this mentioned because I'm more or less in a similar boat. In fact I can't count the number of times I've had to dumb down my English over here for the exact same reason (not just with FSU girls but also Mediterranean girls on whom complicated process talk would get me nowhere because their mind is preoccupied with: "What the f*** is he saying? I should focus so I can UNDERSTAND him"). Yeah, I'm old enough to remember those days, and even more so when the first crop of OG direct gamers came on to the scene (ie Shark, Badboy, Zan & co) and the flame wars that followed lol. While I was never a direct gamer, I always kept an eye out for what they said/wrote precisely because of the geographical/cultural/linguisitc similarities.
I also remember the days (not that they're long gone) of know-it-alls thinking M3 was merely about negs, peacocking and canned material without realize the underlining principles behind it. Most of those guys were barely 1/3 much less 1/4 as skilled as Mys was in his prime and a lot of them are now realizing how remarkably accurate he was in an astounding number of observations. Much respect to the guy. In fact, I recently saw a video of his from the early 00's in which someone asked him about daygame and he mentioned (despite not being a daygamer) to NOT go for moving sets (ie wait till they're NOT moving ie standing or seated, and then open). Stuff which is rote knowledge here two decades later.
I'm reassured if my experiences and conclusions more or less matches or is confirmed by a Tribal Elder's experience here. For example, there's a good book on technical game that one of the Elders here reviewed and while he did so favorably he mentioned specifically that is' more geared towards the anglosaxan / anglophile crowds and things would have to be calibrated if there's a language / sociocultural barrier. Glad to see you becoming excited by classic technical game man and what the OGs (a lot of whom I have immense respect for) have to say on the subject.
Your in-depth and detailed writeups really remind me of myself when I was new and learning all this years ago. Back then this forum didn't exist, I didn't have personal access to advanced people (but I was surrounded by people who were curious and interested in pushing past our sticking points, not to mention a whole host of classical material); however, I was very obsessive much like you. In fact, I would write copious field notes (in MS Word no less, some probably still exist) and try and analyze (or get feedback from) my sticking points et al so it is cool to see this on here as well. Sometimes, I would even transcribe ALL my text msg convos to see if I could discover patterns, common themes etc and ways to improve.
I haven't written much on here mainly because your posts are very content heavy (which I LIKE) but a bit difficult to reply specifically to every field interaction, so I will do my best to chime in if I see something which hasn't been mentioned previously and see if I can add to the discussion. I'll try and mention general themes I notice / see and then maybe hone in on specifics. I'm also pretty new here so not yet familiar with posting effectively and quoting multiple posts et al.
You mentioned your frustration with respect to numbers / leads going dead in nightgame when you re-engaged with them. One post obviously isn't enough to go over the intricacies / nuances of SMS / text game, but when I had this sticking point, I noticed it was usually a PROBLEM in the sarge before the text. Usually flakes happened when the girl doesn't really KNOW you or THINKS she doesn't know who you are. Ie she views you as some random guy / stranger she met and not someone she has enough comfort/trust/connection with. For me, I noticed this usually happened if I wasn't in set for say 15-25 mins and play solid game or if I was forced to close say in 10 minutes (we're talking nightgame here). Also, if you set plans with the girl before the number close (or what was called time bridging) it usually helps avoid flaking and dead leads.
Also, this is another observation, which I think the HBSocialCircle above set may have touched on. And I am glad @Velasco pointed it out too because heaven forbid someone mentions this on here. I get the modus operandi you use in field because while I may not have the vocab to describe it I do know when I see it. Also, there was one OG who was VERY good at this years ago (we're talking 15-20 years back lol), one of my big inspirations, who would easily classify as elite / world class level (ie Tribal Elder or beyond). He mentioned the idea of superficial connection (ie fluff talk), social connection (ie based on commonalities e.g. friends, families etc) and personal connection (ie "our world" perspective / bubble / emotional / sexual connections). The thing I see is if you use a lot of eliciting states/process/gut/NLP talk (what @Velasco termed flowery language) in your sets, then it's good to balance it with at least a BASELINE level of fluff / social / normal talk so that your sets go more smoother and calibrated. Otherwise, you could risk coming across as too mechanical. NOTE: I'm not saying to do small talk. I personally hate small talk, and the older you get you tend to hate it also, but cycling between lighter topics and deeper topics / states (ie what's called fractionation) is probably a good idea.
For example, do you remember that grocery store set you did where the girl dropped the item she was holding? If I recall, after she said something like: "OMG! I'm sorry, I dropped it" you continued with: "Isn't it interesting how they're trying to trick..." ie process talk whereas I feel because of the wildcard situation you could have said something like: "oh shucks here lemme' help you with that!" and then say something like: "Oh btw, real quickly... before I leave, I just noticed that..." and continued perhaps it would've worked better. Or for example, if a girl asks me: "So what do you do?" I wouldn't say: "Now lets see... that's really interesting... what do I do..." she could risk just getting annoyed. At the same time, I wouldn't want to kill the tension by just giving a straight up answer (these days, I usually say: "Oh... I study here, and work/teach also" and they will followup and ask more). There was a time where I used to say something like: "I'll tell you in a second, when I was a kid, I was always fascinated with..." and continue.
The thing with words and covert influence is while they can be very powerful when used effectively, they can backfire when not used well. In fact, i remember that cornball/cheesy line from the last Pierce Brosnan Bond movie when someone said: "I believe Mr Bond's been explaining his big bang theory' and Halle Berry's character says: "Yeah, I think I got the thrust of it.." Ummm... NO! LOL! Can we say cheezy? When I first heard it I cringed. And I laugh now whenever I see it because it's laughable. It makes the "new directions" ("nude erection") actually sound Shakespearean. I think a couple people mentioned the word calibration above, that's a good thing. Otherwise you could risk coming across as too rehearsed/scripted/robotic. Perhaps this is what the social circle HB meant when she said: "Look, no one really knows you or who you are" which is another thing with social circles (and why I avoid them lol) you kind of have to be at least a bit social and "normal" (for lack of a better word), otherwise things can be awkward.
Also, there was a mention of setting Anti-ASD frames, which someone mentioned above that are helpful. For example, discretion (ie you're not a guy who kisses and tells like every other guy), non-judgmentalism frame (not labelling women as whores/sluts/easy for putting out) are all helpful (ie the second generation verbals post which someone referred to)
PS Props for not falling in that lame friend's frame grab. Wow! Just when I thought I'd seen/heard everything. Seriously. some of these *****es. I wouldn't be surprised if she was an UG. No girl here in her right mind (no matter how inflated a social value she has) would say something like "Tie my laces" here. B**** please?!? WTF should anyone tie your shoe laces?!? FFS.
Lofty, you’re right that on this last outing of yours you weren’t bringing your A-Game, and this is to be expected, considering you were on three hour’s sleep and so drained.
I would like to point out that you fell into the girl who was interning at the sports store’s frame sooner than you might think. When she said “So you’re asking for a threesome?” she was setting up a chasing frame.
Because you didn’t say: “No, I’m not asking for anything. Lol” you basically accepted the frame that you were chasing her friend for pussy.
Also, that girl licking the bratwurst sensed that you were needy for the chocha and that those two other girls were taunting you, because she then proceeded to do the exact same thing.
The best solution IME for a dry spell is to end it pronto, so you can start being more chill around the dames. If it’s exceptionally long, noone’s going to turn their nose up at you for lowering your standards a little bit.
Girls have a sexdar, and they can sense if you’re getting it or not. Trust me. (Not to mention you can project sexual state much better if you’ve just been ramming some broad’s butthole).
When she went: “So you’re chatting with all the girls?” your answer should be: “And if I was?” with a smirk. Or you could just not answer while you smirk at her.
Finally, regarding mixing in NLP with other types of talk (what Dreamer was saying) - from what I’ve heard of David Riker so far, this would probably come off as incongruent with the NLP technologies.
Me: You know, I think that if men and women look at each other… in a certain special way… then anything can happen.. if we are open-minded enough. Friend: WELL, I’D NEVER DO THAT. *Friend grabs HB away from me and they have a girl huddle*
*HB comes back giggling while friend gives me mean eyes* HB: You can come get food with us, but then me and my friend are going home, okay? Me: Sure. You never know what can happen if you’re adventurous enough... know what I mean? HB: Uhmmmmm-hhmmmmmmm *we get to line for the food stand – it was right across the street. It’s like 1:45 AM* HB: Sooooooo whaaaaat’s your naaaammmmme Me: Lofty… yours? HB: [says my alias]…. That’s a really cool naaaammmmme . I’m HB! *I look at friend expecting to hear her name but she gives me stone-cold icey eyes instead… I go back to HB* Me: Okay then HB, if I were to ask you what you liked to do besides eating, sleeping, and partying… what would you say? HB: Football!!!!!!! Me: So what is it about football that… really gets you going? Is it the opportunity to spend time with your friends… and alleviate the tension of a long week… or maybe it’s the sense of shared community… where we all feel so close together? HB: You’re so silly, Lofty! Everyone likes football because it’s football!
Friend: Tie my shoe.
When the lady said, "everyone likes football because its football", it meant she was tired of the philosophical lines and desired the conversation to be more flirty. Her friend initiated flirting by saying "tie my shoe!" which was a compliance demand designed to discover your dominance - in other words, they were testing you.
In this situation, guys who submit to the compliance demand become unattractive to these women. Guys who do not submit to the demand become more attractive and increase their chance of sleeping with them.
One way to properly handle this is to reduce the demand into a request. This will force her into a more submissive position, and then you deflect it and continue on.
For example:
Friend: Tie my shoe. (compliance demand) Lofty: Ask nicely. (responding with a compliance demand) Friend: Can you please tie my shoe? (complies by reducing her bossy demand to a polite compliance request) Lofty: Hold my drink and I will. (denying her compliance request with another compliance demand of your own) Friend:*Takes drink* What about my shoe? Lofty: *bored look, changes subject*
Wednesday, September 30 Street Nightgame – 5 approaches, 1 number, 1 heavy make-out + fingering (LR--?)
Much better night. Everyone’s encouragement and the reframing practice really helped me enter a proper seducer state.
I get out a little later than I would have liked just a little before midnight, but the bars are back open until 2:00 AM now, so it’s not too big of a deal. It’s active enough to get things going. I’m dressed in a black PUMA hoodie, jeans, black high-tops, necklace, and a bracelet.
I’ve started to develop a street nightgaming route now. There are a couple intersections where I’ve noticed that people will gather or walk past to get to either their apartment or car, so I’ve made these locations my primary areas. In addition, there are some smaller backstreets where people occasionally gather as well.
My first approach of the night comes on one of these backstreets. I see two decent-looking girls standing and chatting. Can’t miss the opportunity, so I open I gain their eye contact after entering the periphery:
Me: Hey there. I’ve just realized something really fascinating. *HBs stare* Me: Have you noticed how the feel… the vibe in the air tonight… is just a little… different? We’ve been living in such difficult times… and haven’t been able to release the tensions of work… class… and everyday life… but now that the bars are back to their normal hours, I feel like we’re just that bit closer to normalcy… and something exciting can happen at any moment. HB1(target girl): I completely agree! This year has been so terrible, but it does feel like things are a bit more normal now! How is your night going? Me: Oh… so-so. Maybe you’ll understand why. See, we all go out at night… and maybe enjoy a few drinks… relax with some friends… and alleviate some stress… but do you ever get the feeling that the best night is when something unexpectedly great happens? So I’m optimistic because I feel like something amazing can happen… in just an instant. Know what I mean? HB1: Definitely, that’s a good way of looking at it! Me: So then suppose that I were to ask you two a similar question. If I were to ask how your night was going on a scale of 1-10, what would you say? HB1: 8 or 9! HB2: -666. HB1: Oh come on, we’ve been having fun all night together! HB2: Yeah, I guess you’re right. But love sucks. Me: Hmm, that’s really interesting. Let me make sure that I understand correctly. I’m getting the sense that you two are close friends…. Best friends even… like there’s a natural connection with you. So while even though one of your nights isn’t going as planned – which is understandable because we all have those nights – having such a strong connection with someone can always make you feel a little bit better… if you have an open-mind. I like open-minded people… would you say that you’re open-minded? HB2: … are you recording this? HB1: Ignore her! Yeah, we’re definitely open to anything if means a good time. She’s just upset because she’s having boyfriend troubles. Me: I get that. Relationships can be difficult, right? But in my experience – and maybe you’ll agree with this – the best relationships are when the other person is willing to really try and see things from the other person’s perspective… like they always try to put themselves in their shoes before making any judgements. HB2: Looking at you, I think you might be the one! HB1: Hahahahaha, noooooo, she has a boyfriend! *guy appears from around the corner* Me: Is that him? HB1: No that’s my boyfriend . I’m sorry but I’m going to have to take HB2 away from you before she gets too crazy! *takes her arm and starts walking* HB2:Ughhhhhh. HB1: But it’s been soooooo nice talking to you! Really, I mean it! It was really nice! Have a good night! Me: It was nice talking to you, too!
Pleasant interaction. They were immersed and engaged, maybe just a bit of bad luck with both of them being taken. Good way to start the night.
Next approach is towards a busier traffic area. I’m posted up against the wall when a girl walking in front of a big group of guys opens me.
HB: Oh my god, I LOVE your sweatshirt! PUMA is the best! Me: Thank you! You know, I’ve realized something really interesting about cool clothing. Hear me out on this, maybe you’ll agree. Have you ever noticed how wearing clothing that we really… really… like just makes us feel better… and more confident? Do you get that sense, too? HB: Oh yeah, for sure! PUMA is my favorite and I feel like that with all of my stuff! How is your night going? Me: Eh, so-so. Here’s why. It’s like we all go out to the bars… and have a few nice drinks… relax with friends… and alleviate all of our tensions from a long week – it’s been a long week, already, hasn’t it? HB: Oh my god, YES! Me: So it’s like while it’s been a fun, relaxing night… I get the feeling that sometimes the one thing that can make the night EVEN BETTER… is something spontaneous and unexpected. HB: Yeah… for sure! Me: So I’ll ask you a similar question. If I were to ask you how your night was going on a scale of 1-10, what would you say? HB: 8… but it might get even better… Me: Oh? So we share the feeling about that… HB: Yeah because I might be having sex! *points to the group of guys who are waiting for her* HB: So it’s been great meeting you, but you get that I have to go now, right? Me: Haha, I completely understand. Nice meeting you! Have fun! HB: Byeeeeee, you too! *waves as she rejoins the group*
Another solid interaction. Good vibes tonight.
Next is my least successful approach of the night. There are three average-looking girls sitting on some steps. Eh, one is decent. Other two… not so much. Might as well though. I stop after sauntering into their senses.
Me: Hey there. I have something very important to tell you three. Friend1: He just wants pussy. HB: No, wait! Go on! Me: Well, there’s something really interesting about tonight. Maybe you’ve noticed it, too. We’ve been living in such hard times, right? COVID… and feeling SUFFOCATED by masks all day… has really restricted our ability… to relax and have fun… like it’s really unfair. But now that the bars are at least back to normal hours… it feels like there’s a sense of excitement in the air… and something amazing can happen in just an instant… if we are adventurous enough to GRAB life by the HORNS when the opportunity arises. HB: I completely agree! Like, completely agree. It feels that way for sure. How is your night going? Me: Oh… so-so. Maybe you’ll understand why. See, we all go out at night… and maybe enjoy a few drinks… relax with some friends… and alleviate some stress… but like I said… aren’t you getting the feeling that the night can get EVEN BETTER, in just an instant… perhaps by meeting someone new and interesting? HB: Yeah… Me: Isn’t meeting new people so important? It’s like as you engage with different perspectives… you learn things about your yourself that you like… don’t like… and maybe even discover new things that you didn’t even know existed. Friend1: I just want some dick. HB: Come on! I’m interested in what he has to say. I want to hear him out. *their ride comes and they stand up* HB: But what’s your motive? Me: What do you mean? HB: Why are you talking to us? Me: So many people nowadays are just so captivated by their phones… social media… their everyday lives… that the value of getting to know new people is lost. So that’s why – when you meet someone new and interesting like yourself – I think it’s very beneficial to get to know them on a… deeper level. Right? HB: Yeah… Me: So let me grab your number and we can get coffee sometime… *HB turns away and leaves*
Ah whatevvvver. Just kept up the momentum… and once more, the less attractive girls are les receptive. Is this the DNA matching phenomenon that Gunwitch talks about?
But no matter. The next one is among my better approaches without a doubt. Heck, I guess it's a LR--!
I’m posted up on a different backroad now that’s on the way to some apartments and a parking garage. It’s about 1:30 AM. A lone girl is nearing me, and she’s a very cute brunette with big blue eyes and a great body. I catch her glance as she walks by and open. She'll be HBSouthie.
Me: Hey there. I have a very important question to ask you. HB (stopping… she has a very cute Southern accent): Hi! What is it? Me: If I were to ask you how your night was going on a scale of 1-10… what would you say? HB: Oh, it’s been about an eight, I’d say! Me: Okay, so let me make sure that I understand your perspective. You’re saying that you went out to have a fun time… maybe had a few drinks… maybe hung out with some friends.. and so your night’s been pretty good. But there’s still a chance for your night to get EVEN BETTER… perhaps like if something unexpected… and very exciting… happens. HB (smiling): Actually, I completely feel like that! How was your night? Me: Eh… so-so. Let me explain – maybe you’ll agree with this. But I have a question for you. HB: Yeah? Me: Yeah. Do you ever get the feeling… that the way it feels outside… can really affect… how we feel ourselves? It’s like right now… the temperature has cooled… and become pleasant… and it’s almost if the air is URGING us to feel something… like there’s a sense of excitement in the air… like the night isn’t over just yet… and when the time comes… it’s like we really just have to THRUST ourselves into the THICK of it… know what I mean? HB: Yeah… Me: So I’m optimistic about my night… because of this sense… we feel… that something amazing… can happen… at any instant. HB(her eyes have softened): What year are you? Me: What year are you? HB: Sophomore! Me: Okay, I'm a junior. (BS) HB: Great! Do you know [name]? Me: I don’t actually… why do you ask? HB (taking out phone): She’s my friend in my sorority, and she’s really, really, pretty… and she talks a lot like you! I think you would be a really good match! *shows me this girl’s Insta while I lean in very close to her… FUCK. Her friend is HOT. But she isn’t the one in front of me… did she feel like I was out of her league or something?* HB (zooming in on a picture of her friend in a bikini): Isn’t she so pretty? You should follow her on Insta! Me: You know that’s a really good idea… because… well let me see if you agree with this. *our shoulders are touching now* HB: … yeah? Me: Well, I think it’s a really good idea because meeting new people… is so… very…. Important. It’s like you and me right now… as we engage with new perspectives, we learn things about ourselves that we like… don’t like… and may even discover things that we didn’t even know existed… don’t you agree? HB: Yeah… so… do you think she’s pretty? Will you follow her? Me: Actually… I just deleted all of my social media. Social media is so… so… captivating… like it just SUCKS you in… but doesn’t SPIT you back out… and it DISTRACTS from making… special connections… in the real-world… like we have right now… know what I mean? *the look in her eyes tells me that it’s on* HB: Uh-huh… Me: And this is especially true for women… it’s so unfair. Social media has created all of these standards that you have to live up to… and compare yourself to others… but in REALITY… that’s all fake… and what really matters… is how we feel about each other in the REAL WORLD… like RIGHT NOW… don’t you think so? HB: Yes! Okay so I’m always comparing myself to other people on social media.. and I hate it! It makes me question my appearance and I know that I’m not the prettiest and not everyone may like the way that I look but I’m still confident in myself no matter what other people think! Like at the bar today, a guy literally told me, “You’re coming home with me!” Can you believe that? I just walked away and didn’t say anything! Me: That’s horrible… but as I’m sure you know… it’s not that unordinary. Most guys just look at women as sexual objects… and are so disrespectful… and don’t understand the most important part of the relationship between a man and a woman--- HB (massive puppy eyes and we are just inches apart): It was like he didn’t even want to get to know me… Me: ---is the connection that we feel… from getting to know each other… at a deeper level. HB(leaning into me): Um-hmmmm…
I’m not thinking straight… I gently caress her cheek… she leans in further… presses up against me… and our lips simultaneously meet. It gets heavy… very… very quickly. I pull away first… she looks up at me expectantly… and then I go back in. She is feeling me up, and I begin to do the same by slowly stroking my hands across her sides and midsection, and up to her upper chest, and then down towards tracing the outline of her nipples. She moans and intensifies her feeling… she’s all over me. I get more aggressive with my touching… down her back… to her booty (which feels sooooo good ), and she’s moaning and so receptive that I reach her pussy from the back… and she likes that. We continue like that for about five minutes before I pull away just a little so my hands are still on her and our foreheads are touching.
HB: Oh my god… Me: Baby, don’t you get the feeling like… this is such a special… special moment… that we have take advantage of… like this doesn’t happen everyday… HB: No… it doesn’t… oh my god… Me: And good things can develop… very… very… quickly… if the feeling is just right… doesn’t this feel right? HB: Yes oh my god… but you have to understand. I’m not the type of girl that will go home with a guy on the first night. Me: Wow, that’s actually so refreshing. HB: Really? Me: Really. It’s like how we were saying… most people are just out for the sex… but I know that you’re not like that. I really get the sense that you value connection… and really what to be understood… and understand the other person, too… before you OPEN up to them… HB: I’m so happy you think like that… Me: But you know the thing about connection? HB: …yeah? Me: Connection… with some people… can take years. Months… days. But for some people… the connection is instant… and you just have a feeling… like that person… is the right one for you… almost like it’s… FATE. Do you believe in FATE? *wildly makes out with me and that continues for about five more minutes… her breaths are so heavy at this point* HB: Where do you live? Me: [place] HB: Oh my god… I work at [Italian restaurant literally across the street]. I live at [place on other side of town]. I’m going to my car right now… Me: Okay, I’ll walk with you and make sure nothing bad happens. HB: Thank you… but remember that I’m not that type of girl… okay? Me: Definitely… you’re unique… a bit different from the rest. *makes out with me again and we begin walking*
On the way, I try to roll through some SOTs. She’s traveled worldwide, so I get to make use of some of Bacchus’ suggested material. It’s going well. We reach her car, make out again, and then she asks if she can have my phone number. I bring my phone out to take hers… and then she asks me what my name is. LOL. We finally exchange names. I begin typing in her number, but we end up making out instead… and then she eventually grabs my phone, types the rest in, and hands it back… then we make out again. And here’s where I begin to mess things up.
Me: Come on, baby, let’s get in your car… HB: No… I can’t… I’m just not that type of girl. Me: I know that you’re not, and that’s what makes this so special… that it’s so exciting.. and unexpected… and amazing… and we have to take advantage of it. HB: We will another time! Me: Five minutes… and if you don’t like what happens… you can kick me in the shin. HB: Ughhhhhhhhhh but I have class in the morning… Me: Do you have an 8 AM class? HB: Yeah… Me: Me too. What is it? HB: Accounting… Me: Isn’t this more exciting than accounting? HB: Oh my god oh my god oh my god… tomorrow please? Me: Okay, no worries. I know that you have your way of doing things and can respect them. HB: I know that you understand! Thank you so much!
She then gets into the driver’s seat, and I say, “One more time,” which she is very happy about. It gets intense. I tease her nipples and finger her. I tell her, “Baby, you’re such a good kisser… you look so pretty with my finger inside your wet pussy.” She keeps moaning then tells me, “You’re… so… good…”
Then gently pushes me away. Says tomorrow. We smile. Then I say, “Okay, now this is definitely the last time,” which she is also happy about… and I can feel that she is very, very wet. Then she gently pushes me away again. Says tomorrow. I try to go back in again (VERY DUMB), but she says no, so I don’t. But the vibe changes at this point.
Me: Okay, this is definitely the last time… and we’ll see each other soon. HB: No… I’ve had a good time, but I really need to get home now. Me: That’s fine… what’s your schedule like for tomorrow? HB: I finish work at 2:00 and class at 4:45. Me: Sounds good! So let’s meet up after your last class then. HB: Okay ! I really need to get some sleep now. Me: Definitely, me too. What’s your last class, then? *WTF AM I DOING* HB: Literature… Me: I really like literature – what are you reading? HB: I don’t really even know… Shakespeare? Me: Well okay, that’s interesting… do you like that? *NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO* HB: Yeah… kind of… I’m leaving now. *quickly begins to reach for car door*
I very sadly get the message and begin walking away… and then she realizes that I saw how awkward that was… so she yells out that it was nice to meet me. I say the same as I leave, but the damage has been done, and I probably just ruined a for-sure lay. I send her an icebreaker text later, but she doesn’t respond. Might be over… can’t believe that it went so well only for me to make yet another uncalibrated, inane mistake of persistence. Wow. And I know that kissed her before we reached a better place of escalation, but it just felt so right at the time…
I return to the streets knowing that I likely ruined what would have been a great vibe between us. Seriously, I mean, we went from meeting on the sidewalk to her moaning for me in about ten minutes. Kind of painful to think about now, you know, that I messed it up.
There are still some people out, though, and I do another approach. She’s attractive and becomes completely immersed, but after a while, she tells me that she’s gay. The way that she says it and her alternative clothing help me believe her. We part ways.
Talk to two other girls who aren’t attractive just messing around, and one of them becomes interested in me and buys me cheesy fries without me asking. Haha. Her friend is really unattractive and doesn’t like me, but I experiment with the conversation for practice.
I then return home feeling halfway like a baller and halfway like an idiot.
But yeah, it was pretty cool just to do that.
Okay, now on to responding to everyone. Much thanks to all of you!
Your in-depth and detailed writeups really remind me of myself when I was new and learning all this years ago. Back then this forum didn't exist, I didn't have personal access to advanced people (but I was surrounded by people who were curious and interested in pushing past our sticking points, not to mention a whole host of classical material); however, I was very obsessive much like you. In fact, I would write copious field notes (in MS Word no less, some probably still exist) and try and analyze (or get feedback from) my sticking points et al so it is cool to see this on here as well. Sometimes, I would even transcribe ALL my text msg convos to see if I could discover patterns, common themes etc and ways to improve.
I really admire that! Just learning from the field and personal reflection seems rewarding, but I can see how that would be a longer process without our community – the community who has helped me so much already. I know how deep your knowledge is, so I appreciate your reading and input!
You mentioned your frustration with respect to numbers / leads going dead in nightgame when you re-engaged with them. One post obviously isn't enough to go over the intricacies / nuances of SMS / text game, but when I had this sticking point, I noticed it was usually a PROBLEM in the sarge before the text. Usually flakes happened when the girl doesn't really KNOW you or THINKS she doesn't know who you are. Ie she views you as some random guy / stranger she met and not someone she has enough comfort/trust/connection with. For me, I noticed this usually happened if I wasn't in set for say 15-25 mins and play solid game or if I was forced to close say in 10 minutes (we're talking nightgame here). Also, if you set plans with the girl before the number close (or what was called time bridging) it usually helps avoid flaking and dead leads.
This makes A LOT of sense. Like, A TON. I hardly share any personal info with the girls. So I can definitely see how they’ll think back and will say, “Wow, that was an interesting guy, and maybe he was a little cute. But now that I think about it, I don’t know anything about him… who is he?”
Definitely going to add in some more question games and share a few anecdotes, and then relate those back to SOTs. I think this a big point here – thanks!
Also, this is another observation, which I think the HBSocialCircle above set may have touched on. And I am glad @Velasco pointed it out too because heaven forbid someone mentions this on here. I get the modus operandi you use in field because while I may not have the vocab to describe it I do know when I see it. Also, there was one OG who was VERY good at this years ago (we're talking 15-20 years back lol), one of my big inspirations, who would easily classify as elite / world class level (ie Tribal Elder or beyond). He mentioned the idea of superficial connection (ie fluff talk), social connection (ie based on commonalities e.g. friends, families etc) and personal connection (ie "our world" perspective / bubble / emotional / sexual connections). The thing I see is if you use a lot of eliciting states/process/gut/NLP talk (what @Velasco termed flowery language) in your sets, then it's good to balance it with at least a BASELINE level of fluff / social / normal talk so that your sets go more smoother and calibrated. Otherwise, you could risk coming across as too mechanical. NOTE: I'm not saying to do small talk. I personally hate small talk, and the older you get you tend to hate it also, but cycling between lighter topics and deeper topics / states (ie what's called fractionation) is probably a good idea.
And yeah, I understand this! I already am coming off as very mysterious, and maybe even strange. If I don’t get the chance to really delve into the girl’s perceptions, then I see exactly what you describe – a lack of comfort. I’ll make the adjustments.
For example, do you remember that grocery store set you did where the girl dropped the item she was holding? If I recall, after she said something like: "OMG! I'm sorry, I dropped it" you continued with: "Isn't it interesting how they're trying to trick..." ie process talk whereas I feel because of the wildcard situation you could have said something like: "oh shucks here lemme' help you with that!" and then say something like: "Oh btw, real quickly... before I leave, I just noticed that..." and continued perhaps it would've worked better. Or for example, if a girl asks me: "So what do you do?" I wouldn't say: "Now lets see... that's really interesting... what do I do..." she could risk just getting annoyed. At the same time, I wouldn't want to kill the tension by just giving a straight up answer (these days, I usually say: "Oh... I study here, and work/teach also" and they will followup and ask more). There was a time where I used to say something like: "I'll tell you in a second, when I was a kid, I was always fascinated with..." and continue.
You have elite memory… wow. I’m really impressed by your attentiveness. I get that for sure. I am uncalibrated at times as I occasiaonly do get stuck in my own mind a bit. But if I am a little more situationally aware like you’re saying, then I see room for a big improvement in this regard. Great point, helps me a lot!
The thing with words and covert influence is while they can be very powerful when used effectively, they can backfire when not used well. In fact, i remember that cornball/cheesy line from the last Pierce Brosnan Bond movie when someone said: "I believe Mr Bond's been explaining his big bang theory' and Halle Berry's character says: "Yeah, I think I got the thrust of it.." Ummm... NO! LOL! Can we say cheezy? When I first heard it I cringed. And I laugh now whenever I see it because it's laughable. It makes the "new directions" ("nude erection") actually sound Shakespearean. I think a couple people mentioned the word calibration above, that's a good thing. Otherwise you could risk coming across as too rehearsed/scripted/robotic. Perhaps this is what the social circle HB meant when she said: "Look, no one really knows you or who you are" which is another thing with social circles (and why I avoid them lol) you kind of have to be at least a bit social and "normal" (for lack of a better word), otherwise things can be awkward.
Haha, yeah that’s cringey! I’d rather not be like that!
Calibration, calibration, calibration. Just have to be aware like you say. I’m very much a lone wolf type just occasionally hopping back in the social ciricle whenever I feel like it, so yeah, I do see how that would appear rather unusual.
Seems like there really is a stark dichotomy between building intrigue and building doubt. Will work towards the former.
Also, there was a mention of setting Anti-ASD frames, which someone mentioned above that are helpful. For example, discretion (ie you're not a guy who kisses and tells like every other guy), non-judgmentalism frame (not labelling women as whores/sluts/easy for putting out) are all helpful (ie the second generation verbals post which someone referred to).
Got it! I will certainly incorporate the discretion and non-judgmental frames. Those seem extremely powerful, and I’m excited to see what influences they have!
PS Props for not falling in that lame friend's frame grab. Wow! Just when I thought I'd seen/heard everything. Seriously. some of these *****es. I wouldn't be surprised if she was an UG. No girl here in her right mind (no matter how inflated a social value she has) would say something like "Tie my laces" here. B**** please?!? WTF should anyone tie your shoe laces?!? FFS.
I would like to point out that you fell into the girl who was interning at the sports store’s frame sooner than you might think. When she said “So you’re asking for a threesome?” she was setting up a chasing frame.
Because you didn’t say: “No, I’m not asking for anything. Lol” you basically accepted the frame that you were chasing her friend for pussy.
Wow, I definitely didn’t realize that. Thanks for pointing it out as I feel like reacting properly in those situations can be tough with inexperience. And that girl had a tough frame for sure. I’ll handle it better next time…
Also, that girl licking the bratwurst sensed that you were needy for the chocha and that those two other girls were taunting you, because she then proceeded to do the exact same thing.
The best solution IME for a dry spell is to end it pronto, so you can start being more chill around the dames. If it’s exceptionally long, noone’s going to turn their nose up to you for lowering your standards a little bit.
Girls have a sexdar, and they can sense if you’re getting it or not. Trust me. (Not to mention you can project sexual state much better if you’ve just been ramming some broad’s butthole).
When she went: “So you’re chatting with all the girls?” your answer should be: “And if I was?” with a smirk.
Yeah, my standards are probably too high for a beginner. But I want sexy girls, and I really struggle to settle for, well, anything really. Perhaps that’s a character flaw. Looks like my mindset needs a healthy dose of fine-tuning and pragmatism.
And yes, when I’m around a girl that I really, really like, then I have lost my composure on occasion. So exposure will be the key.
Finally, regarding mixing in NLP with other types of talk - from what I’ve heard of David Riker so far, this would probably come off as incongruent with the NLP technologies.
My NLP knowledge is still in the very, very basic stages… I’ve just read a lot of eclectic material, so I guess I’ve absorbed some stuff over time without consciously knowing it - except for maybe pacing and leading now? I'll try to be a more natural conversationsist in any case and have a more casual verbal flow.
When the lady said, "everyone likes football because its football", it meant she was tired of the philosophical lines and desired the conversation to be more flirty. Her friend initiated flirting by saying "tie my shoe!" which was a compliance demand designed to discover your dominance - in other words, they were testing you.
In this situation, guys who submit to the compliance demand become unattractive to these women. Guys who do not submit to the demand become more attractive and increase their chance of sleeping with them.
Jeez, @fog, that’s some next-level stuff! I greatly admire your understanding of social dynamics. Really appreciate this, and I hope to recognize it a bit better in the future.
One way to properly handle this is to reduce the demand into a request. This will force her into a more submissive position, and then you deflect it and continue on.
This tech is incredible! Definitely going to add this into my arsenal right away. Really, really like that, wow.
Thank you for the help!
On to tonight. I’ll try to incorporate these new understandings, and we’ll see what happens... maybe it will be something just a little… unexpected… and maybe even a little… exciting… too.
Good stuff lofty. And great to develop the variations of RPs.
But youre using the heavy artillery w give without the capacity to handle other sides of the seduction it which is why you get hickups. But great - new things to get through
A key for you - go for the girl, not for the lay.
i repeat - go for the girl, not for the lay
this is a lot stronger direction for your development - to develop real skill.
Atm Youre running actions mashine-gun-style not connecting. Which is normal so no worries. and great work. but Spend you time on the part after the opener. aka after your opener - try to feel and connect with her and respond to her vibe as this is real pacing with your whole being. Hint: for me this starts before even opening her. pacing is more than saying i understand or praphrasing. Entails attitude and vibe pacing, bl speed of movements, pace of speech and breatthing etc. and based on that you secondly have to be able to shift gears instead of running scripts. eg when girls are wild you wanna shift into an energy of grabbing the world by the horns type to lead their feisty energies, then transferring them into sexual. With the ones that escalate the vibe quickly eg i like what you said about connecting.. you wanna do exactly that and lead the escalation a lot more sloooowly than you do as youre brutal - when a girl says no five times and you just continue youre a huge danger to her in the wrong ways cause you dont respond in any way or show concern for her. means deep down her get away measures make her avoid you despite polite sweet immediate responses. I do the opposite. i arouse and tempt without release to make her crave me by dialing down the escalation, controlling it and containing things alongside various sides of chemistry.
the work lies in a sorta more calm base that enables you to be relaxed and attentive in the moment to her. Much like gun outlined in GWone - to calm down in the meet. which allows for other things to flow between u and girls.
All this will enable the RPs to be more a part of the process delivered appropriately vs shot half-blindly, mashine-gun style and mixing it up with other types. And the calmness, attentiveness to her-them and the ability to adapt with variety makes your doings much more powerful as youre not blindly action lead. You use the action or tech where it fits.
what i outline is NOT easy and demands some thougths and testing, even comprehension. But its worth it. And a gateway to whole other levels.
Dude Lofty, I’m really enjoying your journal. My game up to this point has been mostly compliment based openers and statements of interest, and once I can go back to the field, I really want to add in RPOs to the mix. This journal has really illuminated some of the processes for that, so I thank you for that!
Thursday, October 1 Street Nightgame – 4 approaches, 2 numbers
It’s like every time I think I know something, I learn something new that tells me that I didn’t really know it.
The minds of girls are so complex, and I thought that I was getting closer to understanding them. Now, I simply see how hard that is to do.
HBSouthie did not respond to my text messages, unfortunately. We had a nice time, but I know the fault is on my shoulders after the poor decision-making at the end.
On to street nightgaming, though. Red PUMA outfit again. I once more do not get started until about midnight. Should be starting around 10:30 to maximize my chances.
First approach is a stationary girl who just isn’t very nice.
Me: Hey, I have an important question to ask you. *it was loud at this spot, so I decided not to go with a more verbose RPO* HB: Hmmm. *obviously not in a good mood* Me: If I were to ask you how your night was going on a scale of 1-10, what would you say? HB: 0 out of 10, that’s what I would say. Me: I completely understand that. I mean, we all have those types of nights. We have these high expectations of fun… and relaxation… but sometimes the world seems just not to work in our favor. But in my experience – and maybe this is something that you’ve noticed, too – is that our night can get better in… just and instant… if we just have an open-mind. HB: Where are your friends? *should’ve asked her this first like Velasco has told me* Me: I’m just in-between meeting up with people… where are your friends? HB: MAYBE THEY’RE WITH MY BOYFRIEND, THAT’S WHERE. *looks away* Me: Yeah, okay, have a nice night.
Scratch that one. Yikes.
Second approach is a two-set, and they do not really understand my RPO. I was a bit uncalibrated coming off the first approach. I eject rather quickly as a result, but it was probably too soon as they had some intrigue.
Third approach is a good one. A sexy noirette and her decent-looking friend walk by as I sit on a bench. I notice HB locking eyes with me, so I feel confident about opening:
Me: Hey there. I have a very important question for you two. HB: Okay! What is it? Me: If I were to ask you how your night was going on a scale of 1-10, what would you say? HB: Probably like a solid 9! We just finished working at [nearby bar]! Friend: 9 as well! Me: So let me make sure that I understand what you’re saying. You two work at the bar, were able to have a fun time and socialize a bit too… and maybe even a few drinks to help you relax… and get paid for doing it? HB: Hell yeah! Paycheck dropped today! How about you? Me: Eh, I’d say it’s been so-so --- *HB quickly sits down on the bench next to me while the friend stands attentively* HB: What is it??? Ohhhhhhhh, is it a girl problem?????? Me: Well, you know, we all have expectations for the night… and while it’s been a good night overall… one that really helped us decompress… and while I may not have met just the RIGHT person tonight… I feel like the night can still get EVEN BETTER if we are open-minded enough when a unique opportunity arises… like we just have to be WILLING to THRUST ourselves into the THICK of it. Know what I mean? HB: Definitely!!! I really like your mindset! Friend: Me too! You’re chill! HB: So what are you doing out here now? Me: I’m just taking a moment to decompress and really… relax. Enjoying the beautiful weather – don’t you think it’s beautiful outside? HB: Yes! Me: Actually that’s just made me realize something fascinating – maybe you’ll agree. Have you ever noticed how the temperature… the vibe of the air… can really influence… the way that we feel? Like now… the temperature has cooled… and we’re relaxed as a result… but the brisk air tells us that something exciting is within the realm of possibility. HB: Definitely, I love the way you think. You know, we just can’t leave you out here alone… do you need a ride home? Me: I’d appreciate it, although maybe not just yet… I’m getting the sense that the night isn’t quite over. HB: Me too! Let’s stop at our place first. Me: Sounds good to me! We can hang out, talk, and maybe listen to some music.
At this point, I think that I’m about to have a threesome. That’s what the vibe is right now, especially with HB. Conversation ensues on the short walk into their apartment. We get inside, HB shows me around, and then puts her hands on my arms facing me. I think this is good. So I’m surprised about what she says next. Which is that we’ll have to hang out sometime, but it can’t be tonight because they’re about to spend the night with their boyfriends who are also roommates. And as quickly as we came in the apartment, they say that they now have to go to their boyfriends but can drop me off on the way.
I mean, it was a little strange. But it still gave me an opportunity to pull to my apartment and gauge the “boyfriend” situation, so I go with it. I continue rolling through SOTs and they’re totally into it, but it turns out that they are in serious relationships even though HB especially liked me.
They say that they’ll invite me to some parties and tell their friends. Ha, doubt both, but they are cool people overall. I screen for the possibility for them to come up to my apartment when we get there, but they’re steadfast on their story about going to their boyfriends, and I do believe them at this point. We amiably part ways after a pleasantly friendly interaction. However, I think that I maybe would have had a chance to make something happen if it was just HB and I.
Then I go back out. Haha. It’s like 2:00 AM. Everything is dead. A pedestrian two-set is the only opportunity. I do it for practice. Hook them but their ride comes, and I do not attempt the number close.
My third approach saved an otherwise blasé night, at least. Once again, it showed me how much that I have to keep working on.
And a few new really important things, too, thanks to @Glow's insight! I hope to immediately implement these into my session tonight.
Good stuff lofty. And great to develop the variations of RPs.
But youre using the heavy artillery w give without the capacity to handle other sides of the seduction it which is why you get hickups. But great - new things to get through.
Understood… I know my game is far from complete right now. I feel this unbalance at a point in every set. So any input to fix it is greatly appreciated! I’ve read your post many times now trying to understand all of the finer points and know that I’ll be able to feel the difference next time.
A key for you - go for the girl, not for the lay.
i repeat - go for the girl, not for the lay
this is a lot stronger direction for your development - to develop real skill.
This will be one of my prime mantras from this point forward! It’s a form of thinking that more closely aligns with what I really want, too, because I do want to have a complete game and not just a recital of a few concepts. Salient thought… one that I also see will be pivotal for my evolution.
Atm Youre running actions mashine-gun-style not connecting. Which is normal so no worries. and great work. but Spend you time on the part after the opener. aka after your opener - try to feel and connect with her and respond to her vibe as this is real pacing with your whole being. Hint: for me this starts before even opening her. pacing is more than saying i understand or praphrasing. Entails attitude and vibe pacing, bl speed of movements, pace of speech and breatthing etc. and based on that you secondly have to be able to shift gears instead of running scripts. eg when girls are wild you wanna shift into an energy of grabbing the world by the horns type to lead their feisty energies, then transferring them into sexual. With the ones that escalate the vibe quickly eg i like what you said about connecting.. you wanna do exactly that and lead the escalation a lot more sloooowly than you do as youre brutal - when a girl says no five times and you just continue youre a huge danger to her in the wrong ways cause you dont respond in any way or show concern for her. means deep down her get away measures make her avoid you despite polite sweet immediate responses. I do the opposite.
This has really helped me to understand the complexities of pacing. Yep, I was missing most of the components that you mentioned – especially body language. And I do recognize the need to be more free-flowing now. My verbals are currently more of a projection of my own mind than a recognition of her thoughts and emotions. I see.
About escalation… yeah. I know it’s a big issue. Big, big issue. I think it’s because I always feel like I have a chance to win her as long as she remains immersed, so I tend to push her all the way out of immersion until I clearly see that sex is no longer a possibility. Not good – it’s a poor mindset that needs to change immediately.
arouse and tempt without release to make her crave me by dialing down the escalation, controlling it and containing things alongside various sides of chemistry
the work lies in a sorta more calm base that enables you to be relaxed and attentive in the moment to her. Much like gun outlined in GWone - to calm down in the meet. which allows for other things to flow between u and girls.
All this will enable the RPs to be more a part of the process delivered appropriately vs shot half-blindly, mashine-gun style and mixing it up with other types. And the calmness, attentiveness to her-them and the ability to adapt with variety makes your doings much more powerful as youre not blindly action lead. You use the action or tech where it fits.
what i outline is NOT easy and demands some thougths and testing, even comprehension. But its worth it. And a gateway to whole other levels.
Okay, focusing on the girl. Not my verbals. The girl. The verbals will come smoothly if I truly understand her. Got it. Otherwise, I’m just hurting myself and the entire interaction. I’ve been thinking a lot about this point today.
Not going to back away from full comprehension – thanks for helping me get there!
Dude Lofty, I’m really enjoying your journal. My game up to this point has been mostly compliment based openers and statements of interest, and once I can go back to the field, I really want to add in RPOs to the mix. This journal has really illuminated some of the processes for that, so I thank you for that!
Friday, October 2 Street Nightgame - 5 approaches, 3 numbers, and yet another ASD FU
Another day, another ASD FU. The girl agrees to go to my place with plausible deniability, then reneges as we are about to go. So I back off for more verbal fractionation. Then she agrees to go to her place, then reneges as we’re about to go. So I back off for more verbal fractionation. Then she agrees to go to her place again, but reneges as we’re about to go. Settles for a hug and wants to make-out, but I do not reward her.
Before we get into the night, though, we have an interesting development courtesy of @fog-style texting game.
There was this really hot freshman that I number closed back in my first week approaching that I hooked pretty hard. This was the girl who told her friends to shut up as I was getting her number. There is a definite sense that she loves to party, is a bit promiscuous, and receives much attention from men. She did not respond during the initial text exchange that looked like this:
8/28 Me: Hey HB, it’s Lofty! It was super nice meeting you tonight.
Save my number
8/29 Me: Hey HB! I had a great time talking to you last night. What does your schedule look like for this week?
9/19 Me: Hey HB! It’s been too long since we talked – let’s grab some coffee! Are you free anytime this week?
That didn’t go well. So I think to experiment with fog's style to revive a dead lead. It went much, much better… despite her not remembering who I was:
Me: hey there trouble, it’s Lofty. we met a while back but you should know that i am a sucker for women with personalities HB: where did i meet you? Me: think we were chillin at the street corner. while that memory is foggy what is clear is that you had a certain look in ur eyes. like u might be too much to handle HB: hmm im trying to remember Me: i remember a spunky blonde who seemed like trouble. u might have another one of my weaknesses but i can’t be sure yet HB: still trying but i am spunky . did i give you my number? Me: okay so that’s good u are the spunky blonde. u gave it to me but u know how those nights go. we just remember a good time but we need to jog ur memory somehow HB: what’s ur snap Me: i know ur spunky blondie but can I trust you tho. maybe u can’t handle me either *15 minute pause* HB: sorry i was in the shower HB: yes Me: ok that’s good because i like girls i can trust. most aren’t like that anymore. maybe u agree with that. and know that im making a special exception for u because i don’t really like snap because it’s so impersonal. but u can add me. *username*
She added me and has been sending me suggestive Snaps ever since. I despise SnapChat… but here’s something that I’ve realized. The low-investment medium works both ways. Sure, it takes less for her to give you her Snap. But it also takes a lot less from her to send you back a Snap and get talking as compared to a phone number. I’m not going to really pursue SnapChat game, but I have seen this dynamic before like with HBCubana banging the dude from Snap who she only met for a few minutes and not me despite us entering a deep liminal space… and her offering up her number to me.
Plus, it was very fun just playing around with it. More testing coming with this form.
Okay, now onto the night. It’s the coldest it’s been all school year. Less people are out in general as a result, and there are definitely less people on the streets. No matter as we work with what we’ve got.
Odd first interaction. I’m meandering around a backstreet when a car nearly comes off the road and almost hits me. There are like ten girls packed inside this little red sedan. Then they honk the car horn at me. One of the girls yells out, “You’re cute but nooooooooooooooo!”
And then they drive off. Haha.
It then takes a while for my first real approach. Very frustrating. And I almost miss it. I’m walking down the street when a lone girl is nearing me coming from the other direction. I get tangled up between a group of people, and she walks by without seeing me. Damn. But I see that she stops at the corner and takes out her phone. While not the hottest girl that I’ve approached, she’s cute with a nice body. Brunette with curly hair, more towards the petite side, wearing tight jeans and a half-open Astros jersey that reveals her black sports bra underneath. Play ball, as they say. She’ll be HBAstro. I hover around the street corner for a moment, feel her AI, and open:
Me: Hey there. I’ve just realized something fascinating. HBAstro: Yeah? Me: Yeah… maybe you’ll agree. Have you ever noticed how the temperature… the vibe of the air… can really influence… the way that we feel? Like now… the temperature has cooled… and we’re relaxed as a result… but the brisk air tells us that something exciting is within the realm of possibility. HB: Hmm… yeah, definitely! It feels nice out, actually. Me: I think so, too. Don’t you also feel like there’s just a certain… something… about tonight? HB: I do! It’s been okay, but it’s not over yet! Me: Okay? Well… tell me about it… I’m interested. If I were to ask you to put your okay night on a scale of 1-10, what would you say? HB: Maybe like a six? Yep, pretty okay! Nothing too special. Me: I can definitely understand that. It’s kind of the same for me, too. Like we have these… expectations… for the night… to have fun… relax… maybe have a few drinks… hang with friends… and sometimes it just goes as usual… just average… until all of a sudden… it gets better…. when we least expect it. Speaking of your friends, where are they? HB: They ditched me! Or, kinda. It’s my fault, partly. They wanted to leave the bar, but I wanted to stay longer. Me: What made you want to stay longer? HB: I just like being out! Me: What is it about going out… that really gets you going? Is it the RUSH of all the people partying… or maybe the THRILL of the excitement that we FEEL in the environment? HB: I think it’s the environment! I don’t even come out really to drink, I just like how it feels! Me: I completely get that. It’s especially nice to be out now, isn’t it? HB: Totally, I mean now that the bars are back open to regular hours, it’s way better. I’m not scared of COVID or anything, I just want to live my life. Me: Hear me out on this about COVID. I’m interested to hear if you think this sounds RIGHT to you… HB: Yeah? Me: Haven't these unique times JOINED people TOGETHER in unprecedented ways? It's like those who have been BRAVE enough to STICK it OUT have really been CONNECTED… and will continue to BEAT those who are afraid to take chances... it’s like WE realize that life is only exciting when WE replace fear with ADVENTURE. HB: I agree with that! Hardly any of my friends want to even come out because they’re so scared. Me: That’s a shame, isn’t it? But I get the sense that you’re the type to… really take advantage of your opportunities. Have you always been this confident? HB: Haha, I wouldn’t say that! Me: I would... you seem to compose yourself in a mature way… unlike most women our age. Like you can hold a conversation… at a deeper level. HB: Thank you
Let’s go. Basically, the conversation continues. I remember all the advice and try to elicit to understand her inner motivations. She wants to be seen as different, independent, and confident. I’ll skip to the first pull attempt.
Me: Do you get the vibe about me that… I’m a creative person? HB: Yeah! I get that from the way that you talk! Me: I do value creativity and open-mindedness… do you like music? HB: Yes! I used to play the violin! *I explore that topic for a while* Me: I actually produce music. HB: Really? What kind of music? Me: Take a… wild guess. HB: EDM? Me: Haha… I do like music with depth and ambiance… that really gets you feeling something emotive… it’d be hard to put it into one word… would you like to hear some? HB: Sure! Me: Alright, well my place is only a short walk away. I can take you by and show you some of my productions… HB: Okay! Me: Great… let’s go then… HB: Wait! Maybe another time? Me: Isn’t there no time like… quite now… and you are spontaneous, right? HB: I am! But let’s just keep talking here for a while longer? Me: Okay, no worries.
Then more verbal fractionation, which resulted in the second pull attempt.
HB: Where did you say you lived? Me: [place]. HB: That’s kind of far! Me: Only like ten minutes. Where do you live? HB: [dorm] Me: Okay, that’s a bit closer. How about we take a walk in that direction and we can continue getting to know each other on the way? HB: Sure! Me: Perfect *I’m about to start walking* HB: Hold on… maybe another time? Me: Hmm. I have a question for you. HB: What is it? Me: Are you a judgmental person? From this conversation, I wouldn’t think so. But… tell me. HB: No… I’m not! Me: You know, I’m not either. I really like people who don’t judge others for things such as open-mindedness. Like for example, it’s especially hard for women, right? HB: Yeah… Me: Because there are all of these… societal pressures… on YOU… that tell you how to act… what you should look like… and not to mention the societal expectations of sex… it’s so unfair. Men who are sexually liberated are called players or pimps…. while women who act according to the INTUITION and the FEELING in YOUR GUT are called sluts and whores… it’s not right. I don’t think like that, though. HB: I’m glad Me: Yeah, I almost feel like we’re a bit connected now that we both think like that. You know what I mean? HB: I do Me: Alright, so let’s just have a nice little walk with zero expectations other than a relaxing time… that continues this pleasant conversation. HB: Okay! *pause* HB: Actually, I’m not sure. Maybe another time would be better. *facepalm*
Then I work back and get her to agree to have me walk back with her to the dorm again, only for us to begin walking and saying that she would like to meet me another time. I don’t push, she hugs me, rubs her thigh against my dick and clearly wants to make out, but I don’t. I just tell her that we’ll grab coffee sometime, and that’s that.
Back to the streets. Next approach is a two-set of girls that I wouldn’t typically open, but Bismarck’s suggestion to lower my standards reverberates through my head. They’re moving, so “1-10” opener. I give off a major fuckboy vibe, and they go into auto-rejection and keep walking.
Third approach is another moving two-set. One girl is interested, while the other pulls her away.
Fourth approach is very, very interesting. Two stationary girls waiting for a ride. Both are quite attractive, some of the more attractive girls that I’ve seen on the night. I hook them, and we really get talking. Among the things we talk about is how they’re annoyed by all the dumb men groping them at the bars. I agree that most men are just disgusting and don’t know what women truly want, and that’s personal connection. They agree. An intriguing exchange ensues.
Me: Speaking of connection… I feel like you two are very… very… close. Almost like sisters. Is that right? HB1: Yeah, we really are like sisters! HB2: We’re super close! Me: Isn’t connection… so… FASCINATING? It’s like with some people… connection takes years. Months… days. But for others… it’s like you just KNOW that this person is RIGHT for YOU because of a certain special FEELING… like FATE... have you noticed that? HB2: Yeah, from the very first moment I met her! *the two begin laughing* Me: So it seems like there is a story… behind your connection. How did your friendship begin? HB2: Oh, I don’t know… it’s complicated. Me: I would like you to tell me, I’m very interested because of how close you two are… almost like you can read each other’s mind and know exactly what you truly want. HB1: We made out! Me: Oh? I'm intrigued... tell me more. HB2: We were at a party and began kissing! Me: So you two are very open-minded and love new… exciting experiences… I like that. Perhaps some would judge women for being sexual… but I feel like it’s a beautiful thing to find an outlet… to EXPRESS… OUR DESIRES… in a positive, freeing way. HB2: You do? Me: Certainly… it’s a shame that most people may not think this way, and as women, I see how that would put a lot of pressure on you… but when you meet another person who thinks this way… like the two of you… then you really have to hold them TIGHT and DEARLY… know what I mean? HB2: Yeah! I’m actually bisexual! Don’t tell anyone! HB1: Bitch, I’ll finger you right now *HB2 is visibly turned on* Me: I can see the appeal of women liking women… because so many men don’t really know how to STIMULATE the FEELING of a woman’s body… perhaps like a woman would. But some men… may actually know a bit about what really gets a woman going… like for example… did you know that women can have eight different types of orgasms?
They like me and really OPENED up. Hehe. But it is soon revealed that HB1 is dating a football player at a different school, who through very unlikely circumstances, I also know. Which is weird. HB2 is single. The problem is this, though. I’m just not feeling sexual interest from HB2. She’s hot, like a considerably hot platinum blonde. But I just don’t see the interest towards me in her eyes. I get a bit of that from HB1. But HB2 is really confusing for me. No matter what I say, I just don’t feel like she has sexual interest for me even though I feel like I’m doing okay here. I’ve never felt exactly like this before, where she’s very interested in me as a person, but I’m just kind of stuck.
We all keep each other great company for about thirty minutes, and it is really fun. I number close and they thank me for talking to them when their ride comes. Pulling just wasn’t going to happen with these two. I don’t know. I really got them expressing themselves sexually. But the vibe of OUR sexual probability just wasn’t there… hmm.
Last approach is a stationary girl at the corner. 3:00 AM. I don’t notice that she’s been crying, so I’m quite uncalibrated. The dude she likes turned her down despite her being an attractive girl. We talk for a moment, and I try to make her feel better, but she clearly needed some alone time. We wish each other well and part ways.
My focuses were really trying to understand the girl through her mind and words, and I think that I did a better job of doing that. Improvement.
awesome that u are drawing some influence from me. HOWEVER, I will echo what the others have been saying - you need to truly listen to what the girl is saying rather than tossing random unsynced lines at her - it is uncalibrated and will lose you girls!
Me: hey there trouble, its Lofty. we met a while back but you should know i am a sucker for women with personalities. HB: where did i meet you? Me: think we were chillin at the street corner. while that memory is foggy what is clear is that you had a certain look in ur eyes. like u might be too much to handle HB: hmm im trying to remember Me: i remember a spunky blonde who seemed like trouble. u might have another one of my weaknesses but i can’t be sure yet HB: still trying but i am spunky . did i give you my number? Me: okay so that’s good u are the spunky blonde. u gave it to me but u know how those nights go. we just remember a good time but we need to jog ur memory somehow HB: what’s ur snap Me: i know ur spunky blondie but can I trust you tho. maybe u can’t handle me either *15 minute pause* HB: sorry i was in the shower HB: yes Me: ok that’s good because i like girls i can trust. most aren’t like that anymore. maybe u agree with that. and know that im making a special exception for u because i don’t really like snap because it’s so impersonal. but u can add me. *username*
here, she is trying to figure out who you are. but what happened was that you kept trying to get her to qualify (read into qualification - there is a specific time and way to use this!), when you just needed to be normal.
overall i see you would benefit immediately from incorporating barriers/resistance into your interactions.. this means that when girls try to move forward with you, you place an obstacle that temporarily prevents it from happening. she must overcome this obstacle before you allow it to move forward. example:
girl: Do you have snap? fog: yes i do girl: Add me? username fog: already!? (resistance) girl: lol its easier to talk on there? fog: guess its not really that big of a deal, I’m just paranoid about weirdos tbh (resistance) girl: lol im not too weird. but if i am you could always block me fog: okay true. whats your sign? i need to know before i add you (obstacle) girl: *laughing face emoji* astrology sign? aqaurious. wbu? fog: depends on the day fog: add me: username (she jumps through the obstacle, so i give her my snap)
i suggest placing obstacles because girls are doing it to you first all the time. and its throwing you for a trip...heres an example from a previous journal entry of yours
HB: Me too! Let’s stop at our place first. Me: Sounds good to me! We can hang out, talk, and maybe listen to some music.
"At this point, I think that I’m about to have a threesome. That’s what the vibe is right now, especially with HB. Conversation ensues on the short walk into their apartment. We get inside, HB shows me around, and then puts her hands on my arms facing me. I think this is good. So I’m surprised about what she says next. Which is that we’ll have to hang out sometime, but it can’t be tonight because they’re about to spend the night with their boyfriends who are also roommates. And as quickly as we came in the apartment, they say that they now have to go to their boyfriends but can drop me off on the way."
Can you see the obstacle that these girls threw up for you? Now, imagine you had thrown up an obstacle for them earlier in the interaction when mentioned you were going to stop at their place...here's what I would have considered saying:
HB: Me too! Let’s stop at our place first. fog: hmmm... you're not a serial killer...right? HB: I'm not, I promise! fog: ok...let's go...
also - be careful with the "too much to handle" line. i dont suggest using it. this is used quite extensively by guys online and you will catch heat from girls by using it.
I don't know how well you follow baseball, but there was a big cheating scandal with the Astros last year.
So I can see there was an opportunity to use cheating in baseball topic to segueway into talking about cheating in relationships. Then your views on relationships to set good frames.
Me: Haven't these unique times JOINED people TOGETHER in unprecedented ways? It's like those who have been BRAVE enough to STICK it OUT have really been CONNECTED… and will continue to BEAT those who are afraid to take chances... it’s like WE realize that life is only exciting when WE replace fear with ADVENTURE. HB: I agree with that! Hardly any of my friends want to even come out because they’re so scared. Me: That’s a shame, isn’t it? But I get the sense that you’re the type to… really take advantage of your opportunities. Have you always been this confident? HB: Haha, I wouldn’t say that!
Lofty: oh really? you used to be really shy? (looking around)
HB: well I..
Lofty: hey come on lets go for a walk. My legs are starting to cramp up from here haha
HB: where are we going?
Lofty: nah I just didn't feel like standing here anymore. unless you have some place you gotta be at right now.
HB: oh no ok its fine.
Lofty: ok so you were saying? (and continue to distract her mind with conversation as you baby step closer to your place). so that when you invite girls to listen to your music. It becomes a "omg that's so close!" walk Vs a "that's kind of far!" walk.
Saturday, October 3 Street Nightgame - 3 approaches, 1 number, 1 make-out (failed pull)
I’ve done a lot of thinking about the recent advice.
And it led me to ponder the mentality and emotions of HBSouthie… so I thought why not send one more experimental text and see if that works? She is a smart, more conservative Southern girl (even though she didn’t kiss like it), so I thought that she probably felt especially uncomfortable by my horrible escalation. So I just apologized for that. And now she is suddenly revived. And yes, I know that this is probably horrible texting with way too many messages, but I just wanted to see if it worked here because I had nothing to lose. Plus, it did make me feel a little better about it all... and it worked. For context, this exchange is following no responses from an icebreaker and two follow-up texts.
10/3 Text Conversation With HBSouthie (following no responses from icebreaker + two follow-ups)
Me: Hey HBSouthie, hope your day went well! Just wanted to say that while we had a great time together the other night, I know that I pushed things a little too far at the end. I was caught up in the moment and I will apologize for that, and I hope that you saw everything that I stand for throughout the rest of our interaction. I really liked spending time with you, so let me know if you want to talk things out. If not, that’s fine, too! HB: Hey! Thank you for acknowledging the end of the other night. I thought you were an amazing guy and was overwhelmed, plus I was alone so I was a little nervous as well. Me: I completely understand! There are crazy people nowadays, and I know how you must always have to keep your guard up as a woman because most guys are creeps, like the jerk from the bar you told me about. From our really great and unique conversation, hopefully you saw that I wasn’t like that. It was just that we were having such a nice time, and it’s so rare to connect with someone! But also when I saw you get nervous at the very end after we had developed such a great connection... it really bothered me, too. And right when I saw that, I hope that you recognized the look on my face that I was very disappointed in myself and knew to completely back off. HB: Yes absolutely! Again, I am glad you acknowledged it and I understand where you are coming from! Me: I know that we’d have to take it super slow and maybe do something simple like coffee or a walk, but I remember the feeling when we looked each other in the eyes and wouldn’t want to give that up. How about we give it another try? HB: Sure! Coffee sounds good with me! My work schedule is supposed to come out tonight/tomorrow morning so I will let you know!
I do not plan on texting like that ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever again, to be clear. I think it's a girl-specfic thing in this case, like she was waiting for me to say that. Even though it worked, it's not good... I know. It's actually terrible. But I'll be transparent and leave it here. Hey, though, it's a good lead all of a sudden.
Finally, I've realized that I misinterpreted what Bacchus told me about texting last month. That's solely on me. I've still been skipping steps and losing great leads. I know there is a concentrated discussion surrounding texting right now, and I will make the same concentrated effort to improve my poor texting game.
Onto the night. Black PUMA hoodie, jeans, black high-tops, necklace, bracelet.
It takes me a little while for the first approach. Increasingly less people with increasingly more masks. Also more police are trying to enforce rules and clear people out of the streets around closing times. Yikes.
First approach is on the backstreets. I pass by a few groups before seeing a lone girl with a big fluffy dog. She is sexy. The girl, that is. But the dog is cute, too.
Brunette, blue eyes, lean build, white sneakers, boyfriend jeans, white crop, and a tie-dye bomber jacket. One look and you know. A bad bitch. That’s straight up Lofty Street. This type of girl just really hits me a little different (see: HBBrooklyn)… maybe because they seem so desirable yet inaccessible for most of society. Or, it could say something a little deeper about me. Hmmmmmmm.
Anyway. The approach. Pup is getting loved up by the passerby, so why not me, too? He prances up to me, which makes my job easier. This girl will be HBHaze. (EDIT: I still did not do well enough connecting after the opener here. Much too machine gun-style like Glow said... this will be my primary focus for the coming week)
Me (as dog comes up to me): Hear me out on this. I’ve realized something really interesting about your dog that’s a little unique. *HB stares* Me: Well, it’s just that I’ve noticed his relaxed demeanor… like he doesn’t have a worry in the world… and just goes with the flow… and sort of embodies the sort of free spirit… that we want to be like as humans… like carefree… and fully happy. Does that sound right to you, too? HBHaze (intrigued stare): Yeah! He is a happy dog and has a good life! Me: Well, you know what they say about dogs and their owners. HB: What’s that? Me: Okay, let me see if you agree with it. It’s about how dogs will generally reflect the SAME EXACT qualities as their owners… so for example if… HB: [she says the dog’s name – we'll call him Bullseye] Me: … Bullseye is a free spirit… completely relaxed… and has all of the tension alleviated from his shoulders… as if his only DESIRE is for simple satisfaction… in the most natural of ways… then that would mean that you are a free spirit, too. Would you say that you’re free-spirited? HB: Oh yeah, I think that’s very true! Him and I do have sorta similar personalities. We’re best friends and perfect companions Me: So let me make sure that I understand. It does seem like you two have a very special connection… almost like you can just FEEL the BOND through the air… like it just ROPES you TOGETHER…so you’re saying he’s the type of dog where if you have a bad score on exam, or a bad day at work, or maybe the day is even just average… then when you see him, you’re happy again? HB: Yeah, that’s so true! If I have a bad day, then I just cuddle with him and everything is better! Me: So does that mean that you’re feeling happy right now, too? HB: Sure, I’m in a good mood Me: Why wouldn’t we be? Especially now that it feels SO nice outside… like the comforting air PRESSED up against our SKIN… the EXCITEMENT of the bars being open… and the WONDER of having a pleasant conversation. So tell me, since you and Bullseye are so CLOSE, how long have you had him? HB: I got him on my 19th birthday, so four years now! Me: Ah, so you’re 23. Does that mean you’re still in school? HB: I actually graduated last year! But I’m going to get my master’s degree in social work next year. I’m a social worker at [local middle school] for now! (service-oriented woman?) Me: Ah, that’s very admirable. It’s like these days… not enough people help… EACH OTHER… like YOU ARE. But isn’t that what a society is for – helping… EACH OTHER… fulfill… our needs… TOGETHER? HB: Definitely… I like how you think! Me: I’m interested… what is it about social work that really gets you going? Is it the process of helping someone go from troubled to freed… or maybe it’s the RUSH that you get from making an IMPACT in someone’s life… perhaps even in unexpected ways? HB: Honestly, I just like making the world a little bit better of a place one step at a time. Because everyone has problems, but not everyone fixes them, or is able to fix them. I’d like to help with that because it’s a process that we all go through! Me: Interesting… so do you feel like you really are really DRAWN and DRIVEN to social work because it’s reflective of your own life experiences? Like how someone helped you at one time, and now you want to help other people to do the same? HB: You know, I’ve never thought about it like that. But yeah *big smile and I see the look in her eyes… I knew that we’d be making out later at this point* Me: Well maybe the truest things are sometimes right in front of our eyes… if we just take a moment… to realize them. I would like you to tell me, then, what’s one thing that you see in your ideal world? HB: That’s a good question… I think maybe just a little less stress on everyone. Me: I’m intrigued… what do you mean exactly? HB: Well like, now. It’s a tough time to live in with COVID. Me: Okay, I see. Hold on, let me know if you agree with me about this regarding COVID. HB: Yeah? Me: Promise to pay… close attention. I genuinely want to know what you think here. HB: Promise! Me: So haven't these unique times JOINED people TOGETHER in unprecedented ways? It's like those who have been BRAVE enough to STICK it OUT have really been CONNECTED… because it’s like we can’t live OUR LIFE in fear… it’s like WE realize that life is only exciting when WE replace this wrong sense of fear with the RIGHT sense of ADVENTURE. HB: I agree with that! Me: Okay, I do get the vibe from you that you are… an adventurous person. Is that right? HB: Haha, yeaaah! Me: So you do see yourself as an adventurous… AND open-minded person… one who really GRABS life by the HORNS and THRUSTS themselves into the THICK of it? HB: I like the way you talk… it’s so different! Yeah, I’d like to think that I’m adventurous and open-minded! Me: Great, I try to be like that, too. Here… can you think of a time when you PUSHED yourself to be just a little more adventurous? HB: I interned in Ghana for a semester! Me: Wow, that is fascinating... did that experience change your perspectives about things?
And we explore this topic for some time. Interesting girl. Intelligent, but a bad bitch. I like her a lot. Weed also gets brought up by her. She smokes A LOT. It’s a good SOT because of the focus on feelings, bodily sensations, and mental freedom.
Her best friend also makes a random appearance. I don’t even know how she got there or why she appeared. But she was really fun and saw what was up. We all conversed for a while, and then she left us alone. Thank you <3
Velasco told me very early on to be willing to commit to a girl for the night. She was it. So we spent maybe an hour and a half talking. Also, I kept Glow’s advice in mind through really just trying to build up her arousal to the point where she just couldn’t resist. I covered ideas such as being nonjudgmental (especially towards women) and how social media/society objectifies women as sexual objects, and how wrong that is because women should be free to express themselves sexually, or at least that’s the way I think.
We’ve been outside with the dog this entire time. It’s getting late. Maybe around 1:45. Enter FU time.
Me: You know, it’s getting kind of chilly out here, don’t you think? HB: Yeah, I agree! Me: I don’t think that you mentioned where you stay at? HB: Oh! Right there! *literally points to the building across the street like 100 feet away... oh boy.* Me: Okay, I live at [place]. *she is very familiar with the area and obviously sexually experienced, so she clearly knows where this is going* HB: Alright, I know where that it is! It is getting late and a little cold… what did you say your name was? Me: Lofty! Yours? HB: I like that name! I’m HBHaze! Me: It’s been a great conversation… hasn’t it, HBHaze? It’s like this sort of thing doesn’t happen, everyday, you know? So we really have to take advantage of it when it comes. HB: Yeah… can I get your phone number? Me: Okay, sure, I’ll grab yours real quick… *she takes my phone once she notices I’ve reached the new contact screen*
Gets interesting here. And hot. And heavy. After she puts her info into my phone, she shoves my phone into my chest and brings her lips very, very close to mine. Maybe I could resist with HBAstro. But I really struggled to resist here. I held off until now, but I guess I had weakness in this moment. I gave her what she wanted.
It was very nice. I pull away first. Hold her close. She’s a bit handsy. I say, “You know, I’m really thirsty… we have been talking for a while. Could I stop in your place for a glass of water?”
Probably say this too late. She responds, “That’s not going to work, buddy. You’re going to have to text me.” Then kisses me again.
I pull away. Hold her really close. Ask her if she likes coffee. She loooooooves coffee. Ask her what her favorite place is. Ask her when she’s available. She responds, “Duuuuuuuuuuude. Just text meeeeeeeeee!”
I see that this is the end. I go in for a final kiss… it lasts for just a second as she pulls away quickly. She knew what she was doing. I may have gotten her to escalate on me, but she had the last laugh. She smiles and leaves with the dog.
Woof.
I have to be happy that I aroused a girl of her quality. But again, I couldn’t close it. Big, big, big sigh.
Back to the streets. But it’s 2:00 AM. The cops are trying to usher people off the streets after close. Although, I catch a really pretty blonde smiling at me. I smile and say, “Hey there.” And she comes over. Gets really close and puts her hands on my arm. “1-10” opener. But her two friends come over, give me a mean look, and take her by the arms. Tell her, “NOPE. You’re coming with us.” And pull her away from me as she smiles and waves. Like Bismarck said. Toying with me. Goddammit.
It’s probably time to call it a night, but I want one more approach. Past 2:30. I see a girl leaning up against a streetlight outside what I think is the only open restaurant. “1-10” opener. Not sure what happened to me, but I actually fumble my reframe a little. She’s intrigued and happy that I talked to her in any case. But her boyfriend waiting in line is not so intrigued and happy. He comes over. Almost ends in a fight, but I pacify him by making it clear that I was just playing around as an altercation just isn’t worth it in this context. I can tell that he’s a good dude. Nothing left for me there, and no more opportunities in sight… at least for this night. _______________________________________________________________________________
awesome that u are drawing some influence from me. HOWEVER, I will echo what the others have been saying - you need to truly listen to what the girl is saying rather than tossing random unsynced lines at her - it is uncalibrated and will lose you girls!
here, she is trying to figure out who you are. but what happened was that you kept trying to get her to qualify (read into qualification - there is a specific time and way to use this!), when you just needed to be normal.
overall i see you would benefit immediately from incorporating barriers/resistance into your interactions.. this means that when girls try to move forward with you, you place an obstacle that temporarily prevents it from happening. she must overcome this obstacle before you allow it to move forward. example:
i suggest placing obstacles because girls are doing it to you first all the time. and its throwing you for a trip...heres an example from a previous journal entry of yours
Can you see the obstacle that these girls threw up for you? Now, imagine you had thrown up an obstacle for them earlier in the interaction when mentioned you were going to stop at their place...!
also - be careful with the "too much to handle" line. i dont suggest using it. this is used quite extensively by guys online and you will catch heat from girls by using it.
I don't know how well you follow baseball, but there was a big cheating scandal with the Astros last year.
So I can see there was an opportunity to use cheating in baseball topic to segueway into talking about cheating in relationships. Then your views on relationships to set good frames.
I follow sports closely! Missed opportunity. I have to do better at recognizing chances like this, thinking quickly, and leading the conversation in the right directions.
Lofty: oh really? you used to be really shy? (looking around)
HB: well I..
Lofty: hey come on lets go for a walk. My legs are starting to cramp up from here haha
HB: where are we going?
Lofty: nah I just didn't feel like standing here anymore. unless you have some place you gotta be at right now.
HB: oh no ok its fine.
Lofty: ok so you were saying? (and continue to distract her mind with conversation as you baby step closer to your place). so that when you invite girls to listen to your music. It becomes a "omg that's so close!" walk Vs a "that's kind of far!" walk.
I covered ideas such as being nonjudgmental (especially towards women) and how social media/society objectifies women as sexual objects, and how wrong that is because women should be free to express themselves sexually, or at least that’s the way I think.
It was very nice. I pull away first. Hold her close. She’s a bit handsy. I say, “You know, I’m really thirsty… we have been talking for a while. Could I stop in your place for a glass of water?”
Probably say this too late. She responds, “That’s not going to work, buddy. You’re going to have to text me.” Then kisses me again.
Me: You know, it’s getting kind of chilly out here, don’t you think? HB: Yeah, I agree! Me: I don’t think that you mentioned where you stay at? HB: Oh! Right there! *literally point to the building across the street like 100 feet away.. oh boy.*
Lofty: omg are you serious? you're telling me I've been holding this piss in all this time. and you've got a bathroom literally right there?
HB: lol why didn't you say so? [or something along those lines].
Lofty: Jesus fuck. Come on lets go (start heading to her place)
HB: no but you can't come (ASD token resistance)
Lofty: Listen if I don't take a piss right now, I'm literally gonna piss all over myself (continuing the frame that you are going up because your gonna take a piss to get past the ASD prison guard. While also spiking her emotions, so that you have a temporary boost in compliance).
HB: hahaha no please don't piss yourself. Ok you can come up, but we need to be very quiet. My roommate is sleeping! (a.k.a. thanking you for getting past the ASD guard)
Lofty: ok ok come on hurry up (just more solidifying the gotta take a piss frame).
HB: ok i'm hurrying hahaha
like I said i've been through this a million times (not2brag) so i know how this goes down sometimes. No fault of your own. I've fucked this up wayyy more time than i've succeeded
(following no responses from icebreaker + two follow-ups)
Me: Hey HBSouthie, hope your day went well! Just wanted to say that while we had a great time together the other night, I know that I pushed things a little too far at the end. I was caught up in the moment and I will apologize for that, and I hope that you saw everything that I stand for throughout the rest of our interaction. I really liked spending time with you, so let me know if you want to talk things out. If not, that’s fine, too! HB: Hey! Thank you for acknowledging the end of the other night. I thought you were an amazing guy and was overwhelmed, plus I was alone so I was a little nervous as well. Me: I completely understand! There are crazy people nowadays, and I know how you must always have to keep your guard up as a woman because most guys are creeps, like the jerk from the bar you told me about. From our really great and unique conversation, hopefully you saw that I wasn’t like that. It was just that we were having such a nice time, and it’s so rare to connect with someone! But also when I saw you get nervous at the very end after we had developed such a great connection... it really bothered me, too. And right when I saw that, I hope that you recognized the look on my face that I was very disappointed in myself and knew to completely back off. HB: Yes absolutely! Again, I am glad you acknowledged it and I understand where you are coming from! Me: I know that we’d have to take it super slow and maybe do something simple like coffee or a walk, but I remember the feeling when we looked each other in the eyes and wouldn’t want to give that up. How about we give it another try? HB: Sure! Coffee sounds good with me! My work schedule is supposed to come out tonight/tomorrow morning so I will let you know!
^ this was great! i don't know what you are talking about... the take it super slow is slight mistake but you got the goal accomplished... Something similar happened to me once when before a date with some girl some dude creeped out (this was when i was trying to experiment with online couple of years back) http://www.theskillsmethod.com/text-sex-best-sexting-ever-tales-online-game/
www.girlschase.com
